“Okay…you guys said there was a ‘problem pegasus’?”

Twilight Sparkle had come to the site of the fairgrounds. A few games and tents were set up, but most of the fairground was still just flags and white lines, marking out the skeleton of the carnival.

Twilight was talking to one of the carnies as she walked. “Yeah! This crazy lady just showed up outta nowhere, complainin’ about somethin’ or other. The Foreman told her to buzz off, so she sicked her animals on us. She even used her evil eye on one of us after he stepped on a squirrel! Then she said she was cancelin’ the festival. Even the sheriff showed up—and he was afraid of her!”

“That doesn’t sound like Fluttershy, except the evil eye part…”

They approached a strong, chestnut-colored pony with stubble. He was the Foreman of the crew setting up the fair. His eyes widened briefly as he looked her over, but he shook his head and resumed a steely expression. On edge? Twilight thought.

“You from the mayor’s office?” he asked.

“I might as well be,” Twilight replied, flatly. “I heard you’ve been having trouble with a pegasus summoning forest creatures and casting evil magic on you.”

“Well, ah’ wouldn’t say that, but she’s doing something! This site was supposed to be free of critters cause’ y’all got yer…weird sensitivities, but then this lady showed up and now they’re all back. And angry too.”

They stood at the edge of the site, and on the opposite side there was a line of animals, big and small, holding up picket signs and chirping, howling, roaring, and chattering. At the center of them was a light yellow pegasus with pink hair. She was chanting something that sounded like, “Something-something joint, no peppers past this point!”

“Whaddaya make of this?”

Twilight was perplexed but said firmly, “Don’t worry, I can reason with her.”

Twilight walked to the picket line. A pair of coyotes snarled at her, but she stood her ground and called to Fluttershy.

“Oh, Twilight!” Fluttershy answered, walking over on hoof as she often preferred. “Stand down, girls. She’s with us. I’m so glad you’re here—I don’t know what to do!”

“Fluttershy, why are you protesting the festival? I thought we cleared this with you ahead of time.” Twilight asked.

“Circumstances have changed, Twilight! You see…”

Fluttershy explained that she had relocated the animals from the festival site to her cottage as the planning committee requested. While everything seemed fine initially, the other night she was visited by a group of hungry critters. A swarm of rats bullied the other animals out of their food supply. This was odd, as the resident population of rats in Ponyville was tightly controlled—or according to Fluttershy, very accommodating to others needs, and freely exercised their reproductive rights. This morning, she discovered several dead birds that hadn't been eaten, a sign of free-roaming cats that had somehow appeared overnight. This was when Fluttershy decided to confront the Foreman with her issues:

Fluttershy approached the Foreman, who was busy chatting with his workers.

“...excuse me, sir…?” she said softly, but he didn’t seem to notice.

She tried again, slightly louder, “Excuse me, sir?” Still no response.

Finally, she inhaled sharply, her patience running out.

“EXCUSE ME, SIR!” she shouted, startling everyone nearby. The Foreman turned sharply, his eyes narrowing as he addressed her. She then covered her muzzle, and blushed in embarrassment.

“Can ah’ help you ma’am?” he said.

“Um, well, you see sir, there’s a problem.” She began.

“Yes?”

“Well, um, I don’t know if you’re aware of this sir, but it seems as though - around the same time you arrived in town - we’ve had a bit of a rat problem…”

“Aw, yeah.” He shook his head sympathetically. “It’s a real pain ain’t it?”

“Actually, we haven’t had a problem with rats in a while. We have a very good system for keeping them under control.”

The stallion’s face hardened, “Oh really? Well, we’ve got our own system that works, ma’am. If ah’ can make a suggestion, get yerself a cat.” He began to turn back around.

But Fluttershy continued, “Oh, um, that’s another thing! See, there’ve been multiple sightings around Ponyville of…dead birds.”

“Uh huh?” he said dispassionately.

“But usually when a bird dies around here, it’s either because they’ve been eaten by a hawk, or a snake, or a fox, or they got sick, or…”

“Could you please get to the point?”

“Oh! Um, well…” she became flustered at the Foreman’s angry tone. “The problem is…we think your cats are the problem!”

The stallion didn’t react, possibly because he expected her to want to say something else, or he was hoping she would just go away.

She continued, “But, uh, maybe you have some…crates you can put them in? Or give them bells? I’ve also noticed you haven’t put any collars on them—they could get lost, and have they all been spay-?”

“Alright, missy!” the stallion interrupted, “Look, me and mah’ crew are real busy gettin’ ready for this festival. If you could kindly git’ along now?”

“But sir,” Fluttershy circled around him and hovered in his path. “I mean, you care about the wildlife, don’t you? We take great care of our creatures here…”

“Then put in a complaint with the Mayor!” He rebuked her. “Sorry if you townies can’t handle a little inconvenience every once in a while, but that ain’t mah’ problem!”

He tried to walk past her, but suddenly heard a growling sound. The Foreman looked down and saw a white rabbit with eyes fixed on him (he assumed), that emerged from behind Fluttershy’s leg. The Foreman didn’t know what to think of this.

As the business with the Foreman was happening, it was breaktime for the campsite workers. They had prepared a big pot of chili under the lunch tent, and numerous workers took their bowls to sit in the shade. Many of them sat against trees, but the only ones nearby were past the boundary of the campground. When Fluttershy came to talk with the workers, a large group of hungry animals in her care waited at the edge of the site. The grass along the edges was luscious, untrimmed, and despite being so close to the camp their natural fear of ponies didn’t deter them from grazing. Many of the workers also left their scraps lying around, even accidentally spilled their chili in the grass…

Before the Foreman could brush off Fluttershy entirely, a loud commotion erupted near the campsite. Workers scrambled away from their lunch tent. Fluttershy and the Foreman turned in unison, their argument forgotten for the moment.

“What’s going on over there?” The Foreman said.

As the crowd thinned out, they saw Fluttershy’s friends swarming the campsite. They made a loud chatter, signifying fear or distress. Fluttershy’s natural instinct was to try calming them down, but there were so many.

She flew over the largest cluster of them, and flared out her wings, “Calm…DOWN!”

She flashed a supernaturally frightening look that instantly froze them in place…Some of them. The rest swarmed past her.

Her heart sank. “My Stare…it didn’t work!” To worsen her distress, she watched as they scattered further from the site.

“Of course it didn’t!” yelled the Foreman.

“But it always works! If it’s not working, that must mean something’s wrong!”

The Foreman scoffed and turned his attention to his fleeing workers. Fluttershy left her rabbit with the obedient animals, as she flew off to collect the stragglers. She tried her Stare on as many remaining groups as she could.

She then spotted a worker who was having a fit, as a squirrel climbed all over his body. It latched onto his face, then in a rage he threw it to the ground and stomped on it. He lifted his hoof to stomp again.

“NO!” Fluttershy cried, and rocketed towards the worker, before unleashing the Stare on him. “You stop right there, mister! That squirrel is scared out of its mind, and YOU think it’s alright to stomp on it and end its poor little life? You…” she trailed off.

Clutching the injured squirrel tightly, she rose into the air and let her voice carry out at full volume. “ALL OF YOU! Will you all stop RUNNING AROUND, and report back to your boss so we can sort this whole thing out?”

Even those in her peripheral vision could feel the intensity of her stare, and obeyed her voice as if she were Princess Celestia herself. The animals all stopped too, and followed the workers back. The Foreman scratched his head at this turn of events. Fluttershy landed primly in the center of her animal friends, still cradling the squirrel.

“Now listen, there’s a lot of things going wrong with this site, but one of them is that something here made my animals panic and run all over!”

“Them panic? What about us?” yelled one of the workers.

“Please sir,” she raised her voice, “be quiet as I figure this out…” She then descended to the ground, and spoke to the rabbit. “Angel Bunny? I need you to look around, and see if you find anything that might’ve startled these animals.” Angel gave her what looked like a salute, and started inspecting the grounds.

Fluttershy looked down at the injured squirrel. She knew despite the pain of broken bones, a wild animal usually powered through the pain. In her hooves it would’ve felt safe and rested. This squirrel still had a rapid heartbeat, squeaked in horrible pain, and his eyes watered.

“Wait, Angel!” Fluttershy called him over and held out the squirrel. “Is there anything unusual about this little guy?”

Angel sniffed it, and then flinched and covered his snout. He controlled himself however, and after a second continued his search with Fluttershy in tow.

The Foreman looked on with disdain, but his workers intently watched the rabbit’s every move. Angel eventually led Fluttershy to the edge of the site. They came to a patch of darkened grass where Angel thumped his foot. She took a whiff.

She glared at the Foreman. “This…this is why all my friends went crazy! This stuff, the peppers hurt them!”

“Well it ain’t our fault your critters can’t handle a little spice…” he said detached.

But Fluttershy then surveyed the surroundings, and spotted multiple littered bowls and utensils. “Litter…”

The Foreman sighed, “Okay, maybe the litter is our fault. But-”

“No! It’s clear that you and your crew can’t follow the rules we agreed upon! The festival is OFF!”

“What?” The Foreman yelled. “You can’t do that!”

“Well, it’s true I can’t cancel the festival itself. But, as the official wildlife warden of Ponyville, I deem this site an environmental hazard. You CANNOT have the festival here!”

“‘Wildlife warden’? Prove it!”

“You don’t believe me? Just get the constable down here, and he’ll settle this for us.”

The Foreman sent a worker to fetch the constable. As they waited, Fluttershy gave Angel and the squirrel a milk bath to wash away the spice. The Foreman provided the milk, already having enough problems because of this crazy, scary pegasus. A worker returned with a stocky unicorn stallion. He had a horseshoe mustache, and an old-timey police helmet so low on his head you couldn’t see his eyes.

“Thank goodness you’re here, officer!” The Foreman said. “This crazy pegasus brought a bunch of animals to our campsite, and now she’s saying she’s gonna shut down the festival ‘cause she’s a…‘game warden’ or somethin’!”

“WILDLIFE warden…” she corrected.

“Hush your mouth!” the Foreman snapped. He turned back to the Constable. “Can’cha please get her to leave?”

“Hmm, well,” said the Constable, “Oi’m not so shar’ about thah’t. See, Miss Fluttershoi IS the woildloife somethin’-or-other fer Ponyville,” The Foreman’s jaw dropped. “An’ if she says yah’ can’t build here then, Oi’m sorry, but moi hooves are tied!”

Fluttershy gave a pleased nod. “Well there you go, sir. Now please, remove yourselves from-”

“Wait-wait-wait! Hold up a minute!” The Foreman yelled, “This festival is important to Canter Creek, and Ponyville! Ain’t no way the Mayor and all the businesses in town’ll cotton to canceling this thing!-There’s too much money on the line!”

“Constable Bolo…please escort these ponies away from here!”

“Er...um,” the Constable looked back and forth, and saw he was surrounded by tens of angry ponies staring at him. “Oi’ don’t think-” he gulped, “Oi’ can…”

“We’re not leavin’!” The Foreman rallied his workers. Fluttershy launched into the air, and prepared to unleash her Stare from above. Suddenly, a harsh, high-pitched trill startled every pony and creature there.

The Constable withdrew a metal pea whistle from his mouth. “Fluttershoi! What did oi’ tell you about usin’ ‘the Starrh’ in non life-or-death situations?”

“Oh! Sorry officer!” She sheepishly began to lower, but then realized her animals had scattered again. “Oh no, not again! Oh…Angel Bunny!” his ears pricked up. “Run ahead and try to calm ‘em down, I’ll catch up with you!” He flicked his ear in irritation, then took off.

“And you!” She then turned her attention to the stallion from earlier, and hovered over him. “Take this injured squirrel to Dr. Fauna’s office, tell her what you did!-And if I don’t hear from her that she got it later…” She flashed her eyes, taking a year off his life. There came another whistle.

“That’s it Miss ‘Shoi!” yelled the Constable “Oi’m wroiting you a ticket!”

She looked back. “But that WAS life-or-death!”

“Got a quota to meet.” He withdrew a small book of tickets and a pencil.

The poor stallion, carefully, nervously took the now pacified squirrel in his hooves and ran off towards Ponyville.

Fluttershy followed after Angel Bunny, but not before telling the Foreman, “This isn’t over…” They returned with all the animals they could, and Fluttershy was displeased to find the workers still there, now all sitting in a line at the edge of the campsite. Constable Bolo wasn’t there.

“Where is the Constable?”

“In town, gettin’ the Mayor.” The Foreman sat on his haunches and crossed his forelegs.

“For all the things you’ve done YOU should be down at the station!”

“We ain’t leavin’ until the Festival’s over!” His workers echoed him.

“Well, I’M not leaving until YOU’RE gone!” She then turned to Angel, who was resting on her back. “Angel? Go back to the cottage and round up all of our…little friends.” She looked at the Foreman deviously. The rabbit could only raise one ear as he dangled his head over her side. He gave a low growl, so Fluttershy placated him, “Just one last job, Angel. Let Harry take over here and you can go rest at the house.”

Angel slid to the ground on her wing, then picked himself up and ran off towards Fluttershy’s cottage. She sat herself opposite the Foreman and locked eyes with him.

One of the workers cried, “Hey wait! You can’t use the Stare!”

“This isn’t the Stare. This is ‘the Scowl’, and it only works on ponies who have manners…and hearts!”

The Foreman was stone faced. He didn’t say a word.

At length, the officer still hadn’t come back, nor the Mayor. That was when a group of animals appeared on Fluttershy’s side of the line. Among them a pack of coyotes, a gaze of raccoons, a confusion of weasels, a herd of rabbits (far from the weasels), a murder of crows, a leash of foxes, a little house of prairie chickens, a clan of badgers, a clowder of bobcats, a mountain lion, and at the front of the assembly was an enormous black bear. The sight made more than a few workers either wet themselves, or stand up to leave.

As the black bear stepped up to the line however, it hesitated. It looked back and forth and began making frightening noises, repeatedly stepping forward then stepping back.

Fluttershy began to fret, “Harry? What’s wrong?”

By now even the Foreman, despite never feeling the full force of the Stare, was spooked by this pegasus’s uncanny abilities. Nonetheless, he stood his ground. Fluttershy calmly approached the fidgeting bear.

“Oh, of course!” she realized. “Poor Harry, you have it the worst of all—you can’t even get near the spice!”

Back in the present, Twilight was standing opposite Fluttershy. She now understood why the protest line of animals were wearing face coverings: the smaller animals had white patches on their noses, while all the larger carnivores were wearing full face masks.

“Fluttershy,” said Twilight, “you don’t think maybe that you kind of escalated things here?”

“I didn’t escalate anything Twilight! I’m just protecting the animals!” she stomped her hoof. “They wouldn’t listen to me, and now that poor squirrel is in the hospital and there’s spilled chili everywhere! It’s their fault the animals panicked in the first place, that pepper smell drives them crazy! Except for the birds though…”

Twilight couldn’t help but notice that many of the ground nesting birds that were removed had now returned to the site, and the other birds were using the workers as a restroom.

“Capsaicin,” she said thoughtfully.

“...What?”

“It’s the chemical that makes peppers spicy. Birds can’t detect it because they lack the necessary receptors, which is why they’re not affected like other animals. Of course, that’s not why all the ground nesting birds have returned to the site.” Twilight had seen a bobwhite quail sitting in the middle of the field, and a pair of plovers running around poking at the grass. “And their poor sense of smell doesn’t explain them using these poor ponies as a restroom,” she gestured to the songbirds perched on the workers. “-now is it Fluttershy?”

“You’re taking their side?” Fluttershy was scandalized.

“I’m not taking anyone’s side here Fluttershy!” Twilight said, “But from what you told me it sounds like you went about this the wrong way, and I know you have problems communicating with ponies.”

“What could I have done differently? I tried asking them nicely, and they wouldn’t listen!"

“You could’ve opened by telling them you were the Wildlife Warden! Then they would’ve had a reason to listen to you.”

“Oh…I guess, maybe I could have. I-I guess I’m…just not used to…showing off like that.”

“It’s not showing off Fluttershy,” sighed Twilight, “it’s you letting ponies know who you are, so you can do your job.”

“Well, then…why did they have to be so mean?”

“They were being assertive, Fluttershy. Since they thought you were just some random mare making complaints, they dealt with it in a way that’s worked before. You should have been more assertive too, but you kept it in until something happened that caused you to take the situation from a one to a ten in an instant!”

“But they still didn’t listen! Even after Constable Bolo told them who I was!”

“Because of how you handled things, and because this festival is important to them.” Twilight then lowered her voice, “Look, Fluttershy, I admit that you have some legitimate complaints, the rat and cat problem sounds serious. But a lot of what they’ve done wrong seems to just have been honest mistakes. Sometimes you just have to be the bigger pony, and I don’t think either of you have done a good job of that.”

“Well, that may be true…” Fluttershy started to ease up, but then resumed her frumping. “But that doesn’t change the fact that the chili festival is bad for the animals anyway! Harry hasn’t been able to leave his cave without a mask, and neither have the bats! I’m sorry Twilight, but even if they didn’t mean to do any harm, I can’t overlook it when ponies do something that makes other creatures miserable!”

“An understandable position.” Twilight said sarcastically, “But let me ask you something. Do you like fireworks?”

Fluttershy hesitated, “No, they’re too loud.”

“What about Nightmare Night?”

“No! You know it’s too scary for me!”

“So why don’t you go to town hall, and ask the Mayor to cancel them?”

“Well…because fireworks make ponies happy. And so does Nightmare Night-I guess.”

“So how do you deal with them every year? Aren’t you just miserable?”

“No I…I stay home, make a special pillow fort, and wait them out…”

“You adapt,” said Twilight. “It’s the same thing with animals. Don’t you think they have animals in Canter Creek? And even though Canter Creek loves spicy food, they still have rat problems. Because animals adapt.”

Fluttershy had lost all hints of her previous anger, and was once again timid and docile. “I…I don’t know what to say…”

Twilight walked over to Fluttershy, “There’s one more thing I should probably tell you, and it’s probably not something you want to hear; but even if you had gotten your way today, you still would have lost.”

Fluttershy looked up at her.

“If this festival gets cancelled, it won’t just cost the town money. This festival is bringing in thousands of tourists, ponies will be less likely to come in the future if it bombs—and that means there’ll be less money in the future. And if the ponies in both our towns find out it’s because of wildlife protection, then that means they’ll also be a lot less sympathetic to your cause.”

“Even the Mayor?” asked Fluttershy.

“Well the Mayor is a nice mare, don’t get me wrong Fluttershy, but her job relies on her keeping everypony happy. An upset this huge will mean she either: (a) changes her policies so she puts the business ahead of the environment, (b) fires you and replaces you with somepony else, or (c) she stands with you and loses the next election, then she’s replaced by somepony who puts business ahead of the environment AND fires you.”

Fluttershy had tears in her eyes. Twilight placed her hoof on her shoulder, “Now don’t worry, we can still fix this Fluttershy…”

“I’m…I’m so sorry!” Fluttershy began crying for real. Twilight sat with her for a few minutes

A bit later, Twilight came back with the Foreman in tow. Though Twilight’s words had calmed him slightly, his gaze lingered warily on Fluttershy, who hung her head.

“Alright, Fluttershy,” Twilight began, “I’ve heard Rusty Nail’s side of the story, and it seems both of you may have reneged on some parts of your agreement.”

Fluttershy raised her ears.

“You see, when he heard Ponyville would have a field completely cleared of animals, he was under the impression that meant ALL the animals. When they were setting up the tents yesterday, they encountered a problem with loose and uneven ground, because of moles.”

Fluttershy gasped. “Oh no! I completely forgot about them!”

“That’s why ah’ sent some of mah’ guys to buy traps this mornin’.” Rusty began. “And not just for moles neither. Y’all said we couldn’t set up a proper fence on that side, because the pegs goin’ in the ground’d hurt a couple’a burrows. But as ah’ always say, ‘good fences make good neighbors,’ and now we got varmints comin’ in an’ diggin’ through the trash!”

“W-What kind of var-...creatures?”

“Ah’ don’t know, ah’ve never seen ‘em before! They look like a badger did it with a fox, and then that badger-fox had relations with a monkey!”

Fluttershy then looked back at the gaze of raccoons, who shrank back in fear. “Hmm, sorry about that too then. I guess they’ve lost their fear of ponies.”

“Now Fluttershy,” Twilight spoke again, “Canter Creek and Ponyville will probably be willing to pay for the damage done by the rats and cats, as long as they get enough money to offset it from the festival. Do you think you can take care of the mole problem?”

“Oh…well, I can’t always get in contact with the moles. They move around so much. But you don’t need to buy traps, sir.” She addressed the stallion. “There are these new vibrating ground spikes that repel moles, humanely.”

“Really?” said Rusty. “Huh, good to know.”

“But as for the fence, I guess I can relocate the creatures to my house until we fix them. But all this chili smell business creates another problem: we’re supposed to have a petting zoo at the festival. But I don’t want the animals to be miserable while they’re there, and my animals at home will probably need me to make getting used to the smell easier. We might have to cancel it.”

“I might have a magical solution.” Twilight offered.

Rusty tilted his head, “That wasn’t already an option?”

“This is an Earth Pony town,” she quipped, “and I was only called in for an emergency. My idea is this: in the same way that you use paint to mark a boundary that ponies respect, and you erect fences that creatures cannot pass; I can create an energy barrier that lets air currents and ponies through, but blocks out animals andsmells.”

“You mean like a force-field?”

Twilight sighed, “Well, yes. A semi-permeable one.”

“Well alright!” Rusty smiled. “Magic force-field, sounds great!”

“The only problem,” Twilight continued, “is that it’ll take time to write the spell and prepare the stones needed to power it.” She paused. “And I think only Amethyst can fashion magic jewelry, but she’s busy right now.”

“‘Write the spells’?” Rusty was confused.

“Um, Twilight?” Fluttershy spoke up.

“Yes, Fluttershy?”

“Maybe you don’t have to go through all that…”

The grounds had been cleared of animals once again, the protest line had disappeared, and for now anything pepper-related was treated like biohazard material as work resumed. While waiting for the return of Fluttershy with her solution to the shield problem, Twilight joined Rusty to survey the site’s progress. One of the carnival games was already set up.

“An’ this here,” said Rusty, “is the dunk tank!”

“Why is the water green?” asked Twilight, eyeing it skeptically. “Is that from last night, or…?”

“Oh no, see, it’s pepper water. The guy falls in, he goes, ‘WAAAH!’ Way more fun!”

“Well…” Twilight raised an eyebrow, “it’s on theme if nothing else.”

“Would’ya like to test it out? Y’know, just so you know we didn’t rig it.”

“We’re going to check it every night to make sure of that,” she joked. “Just procedure.”

“Would’ya like to do it anyway?” he said playfully.

She shrugged. “Eh, why not?”

“Alright!” He hoofed her a baseball. “You gotta use yer mouth or yer hoof, no horn.”

“Got it!” She then took it with her mouth. This caused Rusty to crack a smile.

He then called for the dunkee. “Okay, you’re up Tyrone!”

“Ah’m comin’...!” called a nasally voice.

As the dunkee emerged, Twilight froze, and the ball fell from her mouth to the ground.

Rusty looked at her, “What’s wrong?”

Twilight leaned in, whispering. “Uh, Rusty, don’t you think this is kinda problematic?”

“Whaddaya mean?”

“I mean the creature being dunked. He’s…”

“Old? Yeah, a little. But it’s just him falling into water, shouldn’t be too strenuous.”

“Whuh-? No, I mean, he’s…”

“Is it ‘cause he’s a zebra? You know that’s a stereotype right?”

“That’s not what I’m talking about!”

“Then what is it?”

“Because!-the whole thing with dunk tanks, is they originated as this game called Farasican Dodger where-”

“HEY!” the zebra yelled, “Don’t you ruin this for me, ya’ little snowflake! This is a good gig! Now throw the ball!”

Twilight blinked, she was at a loss for words. Finally she sighed and turned to Rusty, “Fine. I guess he can stay.”

Rusty offered her the ball with his mouth. She wrinkled her nose, “No thank you. I’m just not comfortable doing this.” She then walked away, Rusty lowered his head in disappointment.

“Hah!” the zebra laughed. “Nice try there, lover boy!”

Rusty snapped his head up, and hurled the ball. It missed.

“Ha!” the zebra laughed. “You missed!”

Rusty growled, grabbed another ball, and missed again.

“Mah’ dead grandmother could hit better than you!”

Rusty snorted in frustration. He ran right up to the target, and bucked against it.

“Hey! What the hell?” The seat slowly lowered until the zebra slid off. “No-no-no-no-NOOO!”

There was a splash. The zebra then emerged from the water, bearing his usual morose expression.

“Huh?” Rusty said disappointed, “Why aren’t you screamin’? Doesn’t that hurt?”

“That’s just for the crowds," the zebra said flatly. “Besides, it’s bell pepper water…”

“We’re back!” Fluttershy called to Twilight, flying over the festival grounds.

“Where was she hiding?” Twilight asked.

Fluttershy landed. “Oh, she wasn’t hiding. She was just over at the Carrots’ place. Down here Screwy!”

Looking skyward, they spotted a pink earth pony flying through the air. She was wearing a yellow propeller beanie—not that it explained her ability to defy the laws of physics. This was entirely due to her chaos magic, which also gave her spiraled eyes. Clinging to her back was a small, lavender unicorn filly with blonde hair.

“Hi, Miss Twilight!” called the flying earth pony.

“Hello there, Screwball!” Twilight greeted her as she descended to the ground.

“What is this place?” The small unicorn looked around.

“This is the fairgrounds, girls.” said Fluttershy. “This is where they’ll be holding the chili pepper festival.”

“Ooh!” said Screwy, looking around. “Looks kinda like a football field right now…So why are we here, mama?”

Fluttershy smiled softly at the label. “We need your help with something Screwy. I’ll let Twilight explain.”

Screwy whispered to Fluttershy, “But daddy says she only speaks brainiac. And I don’t!”

“Well…”

“-And Aunt Dashie!” Screwy added.

“...Well, maybe they should learn not to talk about ponies behind their backs. I promise you she’s perfectly understandable!”

“Okay, mama.” Fluttershy sat with her as Twilight explained the situation.

“Now Screwball, the reason we called you here, is because your mama has a little problem. You see-”

“You’re PREGNANT?” Screwy turned to her mother, wide-eyed. Fluttershy burst into laughter, her wings shot out and she struggled to catch her breath. Twilight blinked, she had never seen Fluttershy laugh so hard.

“Ha-ha-ha! NO!-No sweetie, I’m not pregnant!”

Twilight continued, “Uh…yeah, now listen Screwy-this campsite is right on the edge of where you live-”

“Are YOU pregnant?” she pointed to Twilight.

“What? NO!-Uh, I mean, no Screwy. What is with ponies today?”

“Is Aunt Dashie pregnant?”

“No. Look-”

“Is Pinkie Pie?”

“No.”

“Princess Cadence?”

“I wish.”

“Miss Derpy?” At this, Screwy’s friend turned her head.

“No.”

“Then who is?”

“Nobody!—probably.”

“Screwy…” Fluttershy spoke up.

“Yes mama?” Screwy instantly turned around and shut her mouth.

“When Miss Twilight is talking, you listen, then at the end just ask the most important question you have. Okay?”

“Okay…” Screwy pouted.

Twilight waited a few moments before clearing her throat and starting again. She decided to dumb it down a bit. “The festival is right by your mother’s cottage. The smell of the pepper gets blown there by the wind, and it’s driving the animals crazy.”

“Really?” Screwy got excited.

“BAD crazy, Screwy!” Fluttershy clarified quickly.

“Oh…”

“Yes…” continued Twilight, “BAD crazy. What I need you to do is help me create a giant force-field that will keep the pepper smell inside, and keep the animals outside.”

“Unless they’re brought in by ponies,” added Fluttershy, “or they’re birdies flying over it. Do you understand?”

“Oh...” she said flatly. “Well, I mean,” she turned to Fluttershy, “I’d be glad to help you out mama, but why can’t daddy do this?” Floated lazily on her back. “This sounds kinda…boring!”

“Screwy…”

“Hey, I get that Screwy,” said Twilight, “but I don’t trust your dad. He likes to push ponies’ boundaries, and this festival needs to go smoothly.” Twilight then walked up to her, “And this doesn’t have to be boring for you.”

“Whaddaya mean?”

“You could…make it play sounds when ponies touch it? Show funny shapes like a magic eye picture…”

Screwy gave her a dull look, “I have real magic eyes, and I think magic eye pictures are boring. Can I make it flash different colors?”

“Uh…” Twilight said reluctantly, “that might give ponies seizures. Plus, the bands are probably already gonna be doing that.”

“-And it could disturb the animals even further…Oh!” Fluttershy then got excited, “You could make it so there’s no light pollution from the festival!”

“Look, guys-I mean Miss Twilight,” Screwy said, “this kind of magic is just so…blah! My magic is wacky and exciting! If it’s not gonna wow anyone…”

“How about this?” Twilight offered. “Help me make the shield exactly how I need it, and I’ll let you use some of your chaos magic at the festival.” She threw her hoof around Screwy, “You could really…spice it up! Can you say…floating bouncy castles?”

“Yeah, I can say floating bouncy cas-OH! That’s what you mean, okay-yeah! I can do that!”

“And I’m sure you have plenty of ideas too, right?”

“Oh, so many!”

“Well then, when it’s time for us to set them up, show me what you’ve got and - after I make sure they conform to EAAPA safety regulations - ponies from all over Equestria will see them!”

“Alright, then let’s get cracking on that boring shield!”

Previously, Twilight would’ve had to spend hours writing out the spell formula by horn, and copy it repeatedly around the perimeter of the fairgrounds. With Screwball’s help, all she needed to do was provide the atmostones, allowing her to finish the barrier in under an hour. The atmostones served as a safeguard, as the Discord family’s spells were uniquely long-lasting and didn’t rely upon mental focus. Still, it helped if they had the right incentive to do things properly.

“Alright, we’re done!” said Twilight.

“Whew! Fina—uh, I mean, glad to help?!” Screwball blurted.

Twilight chuckled. “You’ve done very well today, Screwball.”

“Hmm,” Fluttershy murmured, glancing at the little unicorn now fast asleep. “looks like this one’s pretty tuckered out. Screwy, could you take Dinky home?”

“Alright mama,” she moaned.

“And you better get started on your list of ideas!” said Twilight. “We’ll talk again later!”

“Okay!” Screwy took to the sky, carrying her friend, “Bye, Miss Twilight!”

Twilight waved goodbye to Screwball and sighed. “Well, glad we got all that sorted out.”

“I’m sorry again, Twilight,” Fluttershy said ruefully. “I should probably do some more to make it up to the workers…”

“For now, just be glad your job’s over. I still have to oversee the rest of the setup here, and document everything for the mayor…" Twilight grumbled.

“Oh, sorry to hear that…Maybe me and Screwy can take care of the rats and cats before dinner.”

“Oh hey!” Twilight just remembered what she was doing before this, “If you’re going in the same direction, could you head on over to Sweet Apple Acres?”

“Sure. What for-?”

Suddenly, in a burst of light, Screwball reappeared, “I’m back!”

“Screwy!” Fluttershy snapped, she walked over to Screwy and glowered. “What did I tell you about teleporting, young lady?”

“It was an emergency this time!” Screwy said defensively. “I swear!”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow, “What happened?”

“Well I took Dinky home for bed,” Screwy then threw her hooves up, “but Carrot Top was there with her boyfriend,” she rolled her eyes dramatically, “and he started talking about his screenplay…”

“Screwy…” Fluttershy said firmly, “that is not an emergency. And it’s pretty rude to teleport away mid-conversation.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” she pled.

“Excuse me, guys?” Twilight interjected, “I’m sorry, but could you please go by Sweet Apple Acres for me? It’s important.”

“Oh, right! Yes Twilight, what do you need?” She turned to her daughter, “We’ll talk about this later…” Screwy sulked in midair.

“Well, this morning Applebloom-”

“HEY FLUTTERSHY! GUESS WHAT?” a familiar high-pitched rang out from afar.

Twilight flattened her ears, “No.”

“Pinkie?”

The pink party-pony cut through a group of workers at full-speed. “I’VE GOT GREAT NEWS!”

Twilight groaned into her hooves, “no…”

Author's Note

I was debating whether or not to make this a different story, given that it has a fairly self-contained narrative. I eventually realized people might be lost if I didn't include this in the chapter-list. I wrote this because I was having writer's block for the next chapter in the main story, but introducing Screwball into the mix could help.