Maud Pie Becomes Evil

by CozyGlow5

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Maud Pie, Pinkie Pie, Mrs. Cake, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1170

A nonsensical story that is exactly what the title makes it sound like.

In this epic one-shot fanfic, Maud Pie begins her quest to destroy Equestria.

It is a touching story that will make you cry.

(Actually, it's a terrible onslaught of poorly written nonsense that might make you laugh. But also might not.)

Now with an audio reading by The Mystery Fluttershy Fan! :pinkiehappy:

Published 2025-01-11 20:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2025-01-11 20:30:00 UTC

Maud Pie's plan to destroy Equestria

Pinkie Pie hummed cheerfully to herself as she bounced toward Sugarcube Corner, the flour she’d just bought nestled safely in her saddlebag. It had been precisely one week since Twilight’s coronation, and Pinkie had panicked when she’d woken up that morning and found that she didn’t have enough flour for a “happy one week anniversary of the day you became the ruler of Equestria” cake. Fortunately, Mrs. Cake had come to Pinkie’s rescue with the suggestion that Pinkie simply go to the market and buy some, and now the perky pink mare was fully prepared to make the most amazingly spectacular “happy one week anniversary of the day you became the ruler of Equestria” cake in the history of cakes.

Pinkie took one more big bounce and expected to land right in front of Sugarcube Corner. After all, she knew the way back from the market by heart: four big bounces straight ahead, twenty-six small bounces to the right, sixteen big bounces straight ahead again, and then twelve medium-sized bounces plus one big bounce to the right.

She should have been standing right in front of her home. Instead, she was standing in front of a large heap of ash and rubble.

“That’s weird,” Pinkie thought aloud. “Maybe I accidentally turned right when I was supposed to turn left? Or maybe I accidentally took a big bounce when I was supposed to take a medium-sized bounce?” The pink party pony pensively pondered possible explanations for her predicament.

“Pinkie! It’s horrible!” Mrs. Cake ran up to Pinkie Pie, tears forming in her eyes.

“Oh, hi there, Mrs. Cake,” Pinkie said cheerily as she spun around to face the cyan Earth pony baker. “Are you lost too? Because I’m pretty sure I took the exact right amount of bounces, and I still can’t find Sugarcube Corner.”

Mrs. Cake looked sadly at Pinkie Pie and gestured to the pile of ruins next to them. “This is Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie. Or, what’s left of it.”

What?!

Pinkie Pie looked at the mound of ash and rubble. That was Sugarcube Corner. She understood what Mrs. Cake was saying, but at the same time, it felt so horrible that it couldn’t be real. She felt her stomach churn.

“It is? What happened? I thought you finally got around to foal-proofing the ovens after what happened last time!” Suddenly the thought of foal-proofing (and the resulting thought of foals themselves, namely the Cake twins) caused Pinkie’s eyes to grow wide, and she looked at Mrs. Cake in horror. “Oh my gosh, where are the twins? Are they okay?”

“They’re fine, Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake replied, instantly easing Pinkie’s nerves. “We weren’t in the building when it burned down. We’d left to go check on you. After all, you were taking so long at the market…”

“Well, I ran into Bulk Biceps! I couldn’t not say hi…”

“It’s fine, Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake said, holding up her hoof to politely silence the chatty pink pony. “Anyway, when we came back home, there was a grey Earth pony setting fire to the place. We yelled at her to stop, but she just ran away. We were too late to save the bakery.”

“That’s horrible!” Pinkie cried, her eyes growing even wider than they had before.

“I know. Mr. Cake and the twins are at the police station right now. We don’t have much to tell them, though. The pony was wearing a dress, so we couldn’t see her cutie mark. And she wasn’t very unique-looking, either, just grey with a purple mane.”

“What color was her dress?”

“A sort of muted turquoise,” Mrs. Cake answered as she recalled the appearance of the pony who’d razed the bakery. “With a dark grey sash.”

Pinkie Pie burst out giggling, startling Mrs. Cake, who certainly hadn’t been expecting such a reaction. “Silly! That’s not possible!”

“Why not?” Mrs. Cake asked, raising an eyebrow at Pinkie.

“You just described my sister!”

Mrs. Cake sighed. “Pinkie, I’m not lying to you. Maybe there’s another pony in Ponyville who looks like that.”

“There isn’t. I know everypony in Ponyville.” Pinkie said this with confidence. “And my sister Maud is the only one who looks like that. But she would never set fire to Sugarcube Corner.” This last part was said with even more confidence, as Pinkie Pie knew her sister, and knew that she certainly would not ever do such a thing.

“Think again, Pinkie Pie,” came a monotone voice as a shadowy figure emerged from behind a nearby tree.

“Maud?!” Pinkie cried as she came face to face with her sister—the last pony she’d expected to admit to such a terrible crime. Maud’s face was expressionless as always, but nonetheless, Pinkie still picked up on an air of malice that made her very uneasy.

“I’ve decided to turn to the dark side, Pinkie,” Maud said. Her voice didn’t sound evil—it sounded monotone and measured, as always—but that didn’t make her words any less terrifying. “I am going to destroy all of Equestria until everyone bows to my power.”

“Don’t you mean everypony?” Pinkie interrupted.

“No. Part of being really evil is not using the pony-speak as much as you should.”

“That is evil,” Pinkie acknowledged solemnly.

“I know.”

“But Maud, why are you doing this?” Pinkie begged, willing herself not to become too distracted by the lack of the word “everypony.” She looked at her sister with sincerity in her eyes, pleading with her to explain why she’d burnt Sugarcube Corner to the ground. Was she mad at Pinkie for something? Did she really just want power? Or maybe she was under some kind of mind-control spell? She was friends with Starlight Glimmer, after all, and Starlight Glimmer had been behind more than one mind-control mishap in her day.

“You wouldn’t understand, Pinkie,” Maud replied, her gaze shifting towards the ground.

“Of course I would! We’re sisters!” Pinkie cried.

Maud remained silent, and her eyes remained fixed on the dirt.

“I thought you were happy with your life,” Pinkie said.

“I am. Mostly. But there’s still something missing.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure you won’t get it by burning down a couple buildings,” Pinkie said. She was grasping at straws, she knew it. But she had to convince her sister that evil wasn’t the solution to anything.

“Oh, I’m not going to just burn down a couple buildings,” Maud assured Pinkie. “As I’ve said, I’m going to destroy all of Equestria.”

“But that won’t get you what you want!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I mean, just look at Cozy Glow, Chrysalis, and Tirek! They tried to destroy Equestria a couple weeks back, and now they’re in stone!”

Maud locked eyes with her sister. “Exactly.”

Author's Note

And that's it! Hopefully I didn't waste too much of your day with this.

This story isn't supposed to be realistic, so please no comments bashing me for writing an unrealistic story.

Aside from that, feel free to rip this thing to shreds.