Luna's Excellent Adventure
"Biomass to biomass! Hoof to hoof! Magics of the ancients, show me the path, I command you!"
Luna raised her hooves high and cackled loudly as lightning flashed above her, a spectral wind blowing up as if from nowhere and snatching away the loose pages of parchment that she had carefully laid out in front of her. It didn't matter; she knew the spell off by heart. It was nearly complete.
"Soon!" she cried. "Soon it will be my time, I will - eep!"
She stopped, wide-eyed as the door to her room flew open and in stormed Princess Celestia, looking quite annoyed.
"My dear sister!" Celestia snapped, looking around the messy room disapprovingly as Luna tried and failed to cover up the chalk markings she had scrawled on the floor. "The entire palace can hear you cackling like a madmare. And what have I told you about using lightning indoors; it's a nightmare to get the stains off the ceiling.
Luna pouted back at her sibling. "You're my sister, not my mother!" she snapped back finally. "It's always 'Luna do the washing up' or 'Luna don't throw the world into eternal darkness' with you, isn't it! Well I've had enough! I'm going to find somewhere that ponies will appreciate me, where I don't have to stand in your shadow!"
At this, Celestia's eyes flicked around the tattered pages that had been scattered around the room. "No Luna!" she gasped. "I promise you, this is a huge mistake!"
Luna simply glowered back. "You've been hiding it from me! There's other universes, with other ponies in them! Ponies that can be my friends! You wanted them all to yourself! Well I have the map of the multiverse now, dear sister! I'll find these ponies and I'll prove what a brave princess I am, and then finally some pony will love me! Good bye!" Shouting the final words, Luna's horn glowed bright with magic, and with a sudden blast of light, she faded from view.
As she disappeared, she stuck out her tongue and made a quick 'pbbbbt' noise at Celestia.
Celestia rolled her eyes and trotted over to Luna's bed, and laying down and looking for something to read, she picked up Luna's diary. "You know" she said to no-one in particular as she broke the magical lock on it. "It's going to be one of those days."
***
Luna slowly and giddily picked herself up. Her head was buzzing from the journey, as her senses swam back into alignment. She wished that Celestia hadn't burst in on her like that - she had hoped to slip off quietly and avoid any confrontation.
"I hope she doesn't hate me now..." Luna whispered, looking about at her new world. It felt like Equestria, but slightly flatter. The grass and trees and sky were monotone colours with sharp edges, as if they had been cut out of paper rather than grown.
Luna picked herself off the ground and brushed herself off as she regained her composure. Somewhere on this world there were ponies. Ponies who hadn't known about her past, and wouldn't sit in silent judgement or run away screaming from her. It could be a new beginning! All she had to do was find these ponies and befriend them!
With a beat of her powerful wings, Luna took to the air, her horn glowing as she cast a spell to find ponies in danger. This, she had reasoned, would be the quickest way to make new friends - find a dangerous situation, use her magical pony princess powers to save all the ponies, and become their new hero (and hopefully, new adored princess!). She could have a castle to live in all to herself, and be just like Celestia. No, better than her sister!
From the air, this new land looked rather plain. Green fields stretched out for miles, separated at regular intervals by curvy roads and lines of trees. It wasn't inspiring, but at least her sister wasn't there to outshine her. At least -
Luna gave a squeal and squirmed about in midair as her horn suddenly blazed brightly with light. Her magic had found a pony in trouble - worse than that, from the intensity, it seemed that whatever the danger was, it was the worst danger that this land had ever faced! Expression set in determination; she straightened her wings and flew at full speed towards the direction of this menace.
In a clearing of trees, there was a pink pony standing by a large Ferris Wheel-like device. Whilst this looked like a normal scene at first, as she drew nearer, her face contorted in pity and horror as she saw the problem.
"Oh you poor thing!" Luna swept down from the sky and scooped the pink pony up in her hooves. The pony stared at her in confusion. Luna looked her over, trembling and trying not to cry - the pony had obviously been caught in some horrific magical accident - her hooves were gigantic and malformed, like huge clubs on the end of her tiny skinny upper legs. Her head was swollen and bulbous, and it looked as if it would snap off at that thin, delicate neck at any moment.
"Don't worry!" Luna cried, desperately trying to think of a magic spell to save this pony's life. "I-I can fix you! I'm a magical pony princess! I'll save the day!"
"Uh, what are you doing with Pinkie Pie?" Luna whirled around, and dropped the pony that she held in her arms in surprise. Behind her were standing more ponies, all of them as strange and malformed as the first. Luna blinked, stuttering as the pink pony got to her gigantic unwieldy feet. She had read everything she could find on the theory of other pony worlds, but hadn't once imagined that other ponies could look so different to her.
"H-hi!" Luna gave a frantic grin at the newcomers. "My name is Princess Luna and I'm from another world, and... Pinkie Pie?" She stared at the pink pony. She was pink all right, but seemed to lack any of the frantic energy of the Pinkie Pie she knew. She quickly regained her composure. "I came because my magic detected a terrible event unfolding, the worst in your world's history. I'm here to save the day!" Luna puffed her chest out self-importantly. Once she could solve the crisis, these ponies, strange as they were, would be sure to become her new subjects.
The pony known as Pinkie Pie nodded frantically. "You're right!" she squeaked, waving a gigantic hoof in the direction of the Ferris Wheel. "I built a Ferris Wheel for my friends, but there are seven of us and only five carriages!"
Luna stared back. She frowned. "N-no... I mean, my magic was attuned to find ponies in severe crisis."
The pony standing next to Pinkie Pie nodded. "Yes! There are only five carriages and seven of us! What will we do?"
A horrible suspicion crossed Luna's mind. Could this seriously be the worst crisis this land had ever faced? It seemed a bit banal, but she was determined to save the day. "Okay ponies, listen up!" she commanded. "You can all take it in turns to ride the wheel! And the ones waiting can... press the button that makes it go?" She tailed off. It didn't sound that exciting to her.
"YES! BUTTON!" A white pony galloped up to a large red button and stared at it. "Helping friends have fun is just as exciting as having fun yourself!" The other ponies started to get quite enthralled by this concept, and crowded around the button.
Pinkie Pie turned to Luna, beaming. "Thank you Princess Luna, you've saved the day. You are our bestest friend!" As Luna stared nonplussed at the strange ponies, they seemed to organise themselves, five climbing into the carriages and one hovering their large hoof over the button. Pinkie Pie stood by Luna, clopping her giant hooves together in delight.
"And AWAY we go!" shouted the white pony, clunking her hoof onto the button. The wheel started to spin. 'Spinning' was actually too kind a word; it began to turn extremely slowly, creaking as it turned round inch by inch.
Luna sat on her haunches and watched the wheel. The ponies on it were screaming with joy. "Does... does it go any faster?" she asked, as Pinkie Pie started to dance around singing about friendship and helping others.
"Oh no!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed in horror. "That would be too scary! This way every pony is safe and happy!"
Luna continued to watch the wheel slowly turn. It didn't seem like fun to her, but the ponies on board were continuing to whoop and holler. Finally, she spoke up. "Yeah, look, I'm going to get going, okay..."
She was sure she didn't want to go home, but she was also sure she didn't want to die of boredom. The minds of these ponies had obviously been burnt out long ago, and now they were only capable of base inanities. She shook her head as her horn glowed brightly, and she summoned the dimension hopping magic. "Maybe the next place will be better..." she muttered to herself.
Before she vanished though, he had a quick idea. A spark of magic leapt from her horn to the centre of the Ferris Wheel. It exploded with a spark, the wheel flying off its moorings and rolling across the ground, still with carriages full of ponies, who were now screaming as their safe ride turned into a demolition derby.
"Oops' deadpanned Luna as she faded from view. "I'm so naughty!"
***
Luna staggered backwards as the world once more swam sharply back into view. Dimension hopping hadn't hurt as much this time, though there was still a nasty tingle in her head.
Looking about, she saw that she had appeared in a village full of small, simple houses. The landscape seemed much the same though - had she really hopped dimensions again, or just teleported to a different location? Would a runaway Ferris Wheel flatten her at any moment?
"Hi!"
Luna turned in surprise to be confronted by a pink pony. She seemed much like the Pinkie Pie she had just met, but less strangely deformed. Luna cleared her throat and quickly combed back her mane. It was important to make a good impression.
"Hello!" she began her speech to the rather started Pinkie Pie. "Don't be afraid. My name is Princess Luna. I'm from another world full of ponies, just like this one, and..."
"A princess?" Pinkie Pie's eyes lit up in joy and she leapt at a surprised Luna with a hug. "This is amazing! I'll hold a super special party just for you!"
Luna's eyes bulged in surprise - this was far easier than she'd expected. "A party?" She gasped. "Just for me?" Pinkie Pie parties were the stuff of legend in Equestria. Even if this wasn't the real Pinkie Pie, surely any special Pinkie Pie party was just as good!
"Follow me!" Pinkie Pie ran towards a pink house, and as Luna trotted after her, several other multi-coloured ponies popped their heads out of various windows and began to run towards Pinkie Pie's dwelling as if working on some hidden party homing instinct.
"I'm making friends already!" Luna thought to herself gleefully. "This is going to be great!"
***
Luna stared glumly at the slice of stodgy, undercooked cake on the plate in front of her. This was awful.
Pinkie Pie's house was rather bare - there was a badly made wooden table around which all of her friends were crowded, all eating the rather poor cake. What was worse is that all the ponies seemed convinced that it was the greatest cake ever. She looks about nervously - perhaps on this world, this was a tasty cake.
"So... Sweetie Belle..." Luna turned to the pony sitting next to her, a white unicorn that strongly reminded her of a young pony from back home in Equestria, who was still desperately trying to find her place in the world. This Sweetie Belle was much older, and Luna was burning to know what path her life had taken. "What do you do?"
Sweetie Belle paused, a slice of cake half in her mouth, slightly confused by Luna. "Uh, I'm a pony."
Luna shook her head. "No no, I mean, what do you do with your life? What are you hopes and dreams and ambitions?"
"Oh!" Sweetie Belle seemed to grasp what Luna was saying. "I'm a pony."
"Right..." Luna trailed off and looked at the other ponies. They seemed to be chattering away about nothing in particular and laughing gently. It was rather confusing.
Suddenly Pinkie Pie jumped to her hooves. "Let's have a round of applause for our new best friend, Luna!" At this, all the ponies started to applaud wildly.
Luna smiled weakly. "T-thank you..." she began, but it felt hollow. She barely knew these ponies, but they had instantly accepted her as a friend. She was sure that you had to actually get to know a pony before calling them a friend, otherwise it felt pointless and fake.
"Darlings!" The door burst open and in stepped another pony wearing a large flamboyant hat. Luna turned round, expecting to see this world's version of Rarity, but her face contorted further in confusion as the new arrival took off the hat to reveal a beautiful rainbow mane.
"Darlings, you are having simply a dashing party!" Rainbow Dash purred as she took a spare seat at the table and began to tuck into a slice of what could charitably be called cake. "I'm sorry I'm late, I was trying on some darling hats to make myself even more beautiful!"
Luna's mouth hung open, the lump of cake she had been chewing on for the last five minutes dropping to the plate with a crash. "R-rainbow Dash?" she stuttered in shock. Was this really another version of the brave, heroic and boisterous pony who was the hero of Equestria?
Rainbow Dash fluttered her eyelids and taking a mirror, started to stare into it. "Oh my, yes, I am Rainbow Dash, don't I look divine?" she smiled. All the other ponies instantly began to applaud.
"Wait, I've got an idea!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed in glee. "Let's hold a super special party for Rainbow Dash's hat!" At this, the others excitedly leapt to their feet and then sat down again, excitedly chattering about how wonderful and beautiful and 'darling' Rainbow Dash's hat was.
Luna felt her heart sink. "B-but... this was supposed to be a special party for me..." she squeaked out with disappointment. "If everything's a special party, then nothing's a special party!"
Pinkie Pie just smiled and hugged Luna hard again. "Don't be silly Luna, you're still my super special bestest friend..."
Luna gave a weak smile.
"..And so are all of you!" Pinkie Pie continued, and Luna's face sunk again. This was going to be a long night.
***
Luna sloped off down the streets of the village towards a house which Pinkie Pie had indicated she could stay in. It had been a pleasant if not particularly entertaining evening. She had made some friends, but it didn't seem to have been a huge achievement since these ponies would have probably instantly befriended her even if she had arrived rampaging down the street and blowing up ponies with her magical powers. That thought stuck in her mind a bit too long.
Slowly she pushed open the door to her new house and flicked on the light. It too was quite sparse, full of furniture which was crudely put together. Given how readily these ponies seemed to applaud even the most terrible thing as the greatest achievement ever, Luna suspected that the builders had been told their first attempt was perfect and so had never tried to improve their skills.
She sat on a rickety chair and taking a pencil in her mouth, started to write down notes on her day. It was important to remember the names of her new friends. She knew Pinkie Pie, mostly because she was pink and easily to remember. And Rainbow Dash, who on this world was far more... vain and insipid than the Rainbow Dash she knew and loved. Well, knew at any rate. Perhaps it was because this Rainbow Dash never had anything to aspire to.
Luna crinkled her brow. Past those ponies, they all blurred into one, all with the same bland personality, smiling inanely and celebrating every little thing. Was every pony here like this? It wasn't bad but...
"Hello."
Luna fell from her chair in shock as a mint green pony stepped out of the darkness. "H-Hello!" she responded shakily at the newcomer. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise this was your house, Pinkie Pie said I could stay here and..."
"Oh, it's not my house." The strange pony trotted into the light and gave a smile. "I just like to stand in other ponies houses sometimes. My name is Minty."
Luna blinked and repeated the words in her mind, feeling as if she had missed something. Slowly she replied. "T-that's good Minty, but if you don't mind I'd like to get some rest..." She trailed off, the implication clear.
Minty took another step forwards and stared at Luna's hooves. "I like your socks" she haltingly uttered.
Luna scampered back into the corner of the room, eyes darting about looking for a quick exit. "Those are shoes!" she exclaimed, waving her hooves at Minty. "I'm a pony princess so I wear shoes!"
Minty smiled vacantly. "Oh, it's okay. I just like socks. The touch of them, the feel of them, the taste of them... I like all socks, I'm not prejudiced. Red socks, blue socks, white socks..." She took another step towards Luna, her face darkening. "Of course, they're all white socks once I've finished with them..."
But Luna was gone. There was a Luna shaped hole in the wall.
***
Luna gasped, skidding to a halt and attempting to catch her breath. She had sparked her spell as she was running from the scary green pony, but wasn't quite sure where she had ended up. The ground underneath was cold and hard beneath her hooves, and the sky was wreathed in smoke, flames flickering in the distance.
"I don't think I'm in Ponyville anymore..." Luna muttered, looking about curiously. Metal debris was strewn about the smoking, blasted terrain. Suddenly a huge explosion echoed in the distance, and Luna found herself leaping into the air with a squeal of fear, the acrid smell of burning filling her lungs. She flew as fast and as far as she could, away from the explosion, looking back at it in fear, beating her wings harder and harder, a flurry of fear and panic until with a crash, she flew head-first into something.
Dazedly, Luna looked upwards. She had been glancing behind herself and had flown straight into a large metal statue. Slowly Luna flew upwards, examining the statue in great detail in the hope it would shed light on the strange, dark world. It seemed to be a massive, boxy representation of a biped, coloured in neon yellow with purple stripes. As Luna drifted upwards, she found herself face to face with the statue, staring at the strange expressionless helmet that was its face.
"Oh Primus." Luna leapt backwards in the air as the metal statue spoke, a loud metallic rasping voice echoing out. One large gauntleted hand rose clutching a bottle of a strange pink liquid, and the statue gazed at it. "Magic flying ponies. I didn't think I'd drunk that much."
Seeing that the statue was just as confused as her, Luna decided an attempt at making friends was worth a try. "Hi!" she said, putting on a nervous smile. "My name's Luna, I'm a magical pony princess. I'm looking for the ponies that live here, do you know where they are?"
The statue simply stared impassively back at her. Luna tried again. "This is..." she struggled to remember the magical books she had read earlier, which spoke of the possibility of myriad other pony worlds. "This is the Pony G2 Universe, right?"
"Oh. Ponies. Great." The statue brought its other huge hand up to its face in a heavy face palm. "No, sorry. This happens quite a bit actually, magical pixies and unicorns and imps keep popping up looking for ponies. But there isn't a pony G2 universe; you've actually come to the Transformers G2 Universe." It picked up a gigantic neon purple cylinder which it clutched tightly in its hand. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm right in the middle of a terrible, bloody and violent war."
Luna's face fell once more and then she gave a yelp as another explosion, this time closer, bloomed in the distance. "W-well... fighting's not good. Have you tried..." she paused for a moment, thinking. How would her fellow ponies solve such a problem? If she could fix it, then maybe she could find friends here. Finally, she came to a decision. "Have you tried having a big party instead? Rather than fighting, you can give your enemies presents!"
The statue considered this for a moment. "And when they open the presents, they explode?" it offered in its booming voice.
"No... no! No!" Luna shook her head. "They have nice things inside! And then you give them a cake with candles on!"
The statue stroked its chin. "I see, and the candles are actually explosives, right?"
Luna flapped backwards a bit, getting some distance between her and the statue. "No!" she exclaimed. "You blow out the candles and you eat the cake!"
The statue stood still for some time as it worked over this concept in its mind. Then it turned around and started to walk away. "You know!" it rumbled. "That's just so out of the box it might just work!"
Luna flew after the statue as it walked through the ruined landscape, keeping as close as she could for safety. She saw the smoking ruins of buildings, blasted craters, and other statues, fallen and broken, lying discarded on the ground. Finally her statue reached what seemed like an encampment full of other gaudy neon coloured statues, all holding similar looking cylinders.
"Wait here. I'll talk to the boss!" her statue barked, and it entered a huge purple tent. Luna hovered in the air awkwardly, looking about at the other metal statues as they went about their business. Carefully, she pressed her ear against the tent, hoping to pick up a snippet of conversation. Her statue was talking to something else, which boomed its replies in an authoritative, gravelly voice.
"...so these presents explode, right?"
"No commander Megatron. They will be full of small gift items. And then we give them a cake."
"I see. This cake will, of course, be laced with explosives."
"No, it will be covered in delicious frosting."
At this point, Luna couldn't hear anything. There was a long, pregnant pause. Then the impassive, gravelly voice spoke again.
"Onslaught, I sincerely hope this wasn't your idea."
"No sir! A magical talking pony princess told me!"
"Onslaught, I am going to step outside the tent, and if I don't see a magical talking pony princess, then they'll be hell to pay. Of course, if I DO see a magical talking pony princess, there will also be hell to pay. Do you understand?"
Luna understood. This was probably a good time to make a quick getaway.
***
In a flash, Luna appeared on a street corner, stone once more under her hooves. At once her senses were overwhelmed by a smorgasbord of noise coming from all around. This was not a normal pony village - the land was crammed with brick houses and large roadways with barely any grass to be seen, just an ode to industrialisation.
Luna's heart stopped as she saw metal vehicles crowding the roads. Instantly she thought that they were more of those scary metal statues, but looking closer, she saw ponies inside each vehicle, clutching wheels with their hooves. Other ponies walked down the streets, moving in and out of shops clutching bags. But there was something strange about those ponies. Something not quite right...
"They're walking on two hooves!" Luna gasped in horror, as she trotted backwards. Some of the ponies were on all fours like all normal ponies should be, but mostly there were walking on their hind hooves as they went about their business.
"Excuse me!" Luna tugged on a passing pony, who turned around to glare coldly at her. Luna smiled upwards nervously. "Hi, I'm a magical pony princess, and I was wondering if..."
"Sorry, I've not got any change" the pony muttered, hurrying on. Luna blinked in confusion. She hadn't asked for any money, had she? Was that how transactions occurred in this land?
For the next hour, Luna wandered the streets, feeling very alone despite the throng of ponies that inhabited this world. She could see no magic, no wonder anywhere, just dreary ponies going along their dreary lives in a dreary manner. No pony seemed interested in talking to her, regarding her as a nuisance who was in the way, and she had no money to buy any food. The shopkeepers wouldn't even accept a delightful smile as payment!
Sadly, Luna huddled down in a doorway. The ground was cold beneath her, the sky a slate grey to match her mood. She had admonished some of the first ponies she had met for being too readily accepting of her, but here she had found the opposite problem: a world run by... money and objects rather than the basic principles of friendship.
"One more try" Luna thought sadly as with a blink of magic, she faded out of existence.
***
The sun blazed down upon the beautiful lush green valley as birdsong filled the sweet air. Luna breathed heavily, closing her eyes to concentrate on the delightful wonder of this place. "Is this... paradise?" she breathed in wonderment. This was unlike any of the other worlds she had travelled to. But she didn't want to get too carried away yet, she didn't know what sort of ponies lived here. They might all be horrible monsters for all she knew.
"Hi!"
Luna blinked as from the sky flew a white pegasus pony, who smiled brightly at her as it touched gracefully down on the ground.
"Hi..." Luna began, waving a hoof awkwardly in greeting. "M-my name is Princess Luna, I'm a magical pony princess from a faraway land and I'm looking for new friends!"
"That's great!" The pegasus pony smiled. "Welcome to Dream Valley, Princess Luna! I'm Surprise, and I'm sure once I get to know you, we'll be great friends!"
Luna beamed. "So you're not going to be fake friends or ignore me or try to shoot me?" she blurted out, unable to believe her luck. This Surprise sounded like she'd been huffing helium, but she actually seemed genuinely interested in her. "Are there many other ponies here?"
"Oh yes!" Surprise trotted happily around Luna. "There's pegasus ponies like me, earth ponies, and unicorns! And we all live together happily! We even have a castle, though we don't have a princess for it!"
A small gasp of joy escaped Luna's lips. This was all her dreams come true at once. She could live in this wonderful land and make wonderful friends and have a wonderful time and -
"DEATH! DEATH TO PONIES! YOUR DOOM IS AT HAND!"
Luna squealed as from over the horizon erupted massive gouts of flame, and thunderous clouds bellowed over the blue sky. The forests in the distance exploded suddenly into fireballs and from the maelstrom loomed a mile high figure, rising forever upwards, a beastly red demon with huge horns growing from its head and eyes burning with hatred as it blasted death rays down across the valley.
"HOLY HAY!" Luna screamed. "IS THAT SATAN?"
Surprise placed a hoof against her face and rolled her eyes. "Oh no, not again!"
Luna turned to her new friend in panic. "Again? What do you mean again?" She gripped Surprise with her hooves, shaking her violently as more explosions billowed out.
Surprise simply let herself get shaken. "Oh yeah, sometimes demons and monsters and stuff turn up and start to murder everything. But we have a little human friend who sorts it out for us. She has opposable digits and everything!"
Confused, Luna looked between Surprise and the gigantic monster in the distance who was now busy torching a village while laughing evilly. "But... this is your land! You should stand up for yourselves! If this happens so often, don't you have a plan?"
Surprise nodded. "Oh yes, we have a plan that we enact. We do this!" At that, Surprise started running off in the opposite direction, screaming and bleating and crying. Luna heard a stampede of hooves, and had to take to the air to avoid being trampled by more terrified ponies.
"DESTRUCTION! DEATH! DOOM! BWAHAHAHA!"
Luna narrowed her eyes at the demon in the distance, and then glared down at the fleeing ponies in disgust. "This is your land!" she shouted. "You can't just run away and let others solve your problems for you! Ponies are just as good as everyone else!"
Turning towards the monster, Luna fixed it in a steely gaze, and horn glowing with magic, flew at full speed towards it. "You get away from those ponies!" she cried out. "While I'm here, these ponies are under my protection!"
The beast seemed to get bigger and bigger. Luna realised she had misjudged the size of the creature as she approached it, a huge monstrous mountain of pure evil. Its eyes bore down upon her, and despite her powerful magic, with a flick of a mighty finger it smacked her out of the sky, hard.
Luna crashed helplessly into a lake, dazed and battered, splashing about as she regained her composure. In the distance, she could hear the demon shouting something about "the young girl and the magical rainbow of light!" before it exploded in a plume of devilish smoke.
"Oh fantastic" Luna muttered to herself, sopping wet as she swam towards the shore, tired, battered and humiliated. The one occasion where she could have used her powers to save the day and she failed completely. "I wonder what else can possible go wrong."
As she uttered those fateful words, several pony heads bobbed up out of the water at her, staring with wide open eyes. They seemed to be some sort of aquatic ponies, with tiny flippers instead of front hooves, and a tail instead of back hooves. That or they were the victims of some sort of pony thalidomide.
Luna stared at the sea ponies.
The sea ponies stared back at Luna.
An awkward silence ensured until as one, the ponies started to sing. "Shoo be do! Shoo be-"
"No." Luna growled through gritted teeth as she gave the ponies a cold hard stare. "Just... no. I'm going home."
***
With a flash of light, Luna appeared back in her bedroom, bedraggled and sopping wet, but strangely happy to be back. Lying on her bed was Celestia, who casually popped a chocolate into her mouth and threw a book over her back as Luna reappeared.
"So uh, I decided to come back" Luna muttered, wringing out her wet mane with her hooves.
Celestia just smiled. "So my little sister, did you learn anything on your journey?"
"Yeah." Luna flopped onto the bed, dejected. "Turns out everywhere else sucks. There were worlds where ponies had no conflict, but because of that they were never inspired to better themselves. I went to a land of statues who didn't understand friendship, and a land where ponies were friends but didn't even understand the concept of friendship. There were places where ponies had given up all their dreams and places where ponies were just living their dreams to the exclusion of reality. There was a land where ponies wouldn't stand up for themselves and just ran away and..."
She sunk her head into her sister's side. "...and I realised that all I was doing was running away too! It was easier to confront the embodiment of all evil than it was to confront my own sister! I'm sorry for being so selfish!"
Celestia just smiled warmly and gave Luna a hug. "Life isn't always how we want it to be Luna, but we need those struggles to help us achieve our dreams, and realise what we are missing. Without that, life is just hollow and empty. A bit of conflict is healthy!" With that, Celestia slowly got up and trotted out of the room. "Sweet dreams Luna."
Luna pulled her bedcovers around her as Celestia left. She idly noticed the bedside box of chocolates she had bought for herself that her sister had raided in her absence. "You're right Celly. Conflict can be good..."
"...Tomorrow I'm totally going to try and bring about eternal night again!"
Celestia paused in the doorway, eyes wide as she choked, spitting out the chocolates she'd been eating and collapsing in a coughing fit.
Luna just smiled, rolled over, and went to sleep. For once, she had good dreams.
