Remain|Release|Remember

Chapters

Remain Sane
Release Your Thoughts
Remember You

Remain Sane

Twilight rolled in her bed, sweating in the overly suffocating and hot air. Her usually comfortable weighted blanket was far too warm tonight. Begrudgingly, she kicked it off, exposing her matted wet fur to the thick humid air that filled the room. Her now stinging and sleep deprived eyes opened to a darkened room as she stared blankly at the ceiling. She was sure her normally vibrant purple coat was faded from exhaustion, but she couldn’t tell in the dim light.

It had been three weeks. Three miserable weeks since she’d had a real night’s rest. She rolled out of bed and onto her hooves, briefly stumbling forward as her weight settled. Almost two hundred years since her ascension and she still underestimated her size when she was tired. Steeling herself for another awful twenty four hours, she glared at the traitorous bed. Surely it was at least partially culpable, but if it had simply been the bed, she’d have fixed it already.

She’d written to Celestia, complaining about her lack of sleep two weeks ago. Celestia had simply recommended that Twilight get out and get some exercise, and that insomnia was an occasional risk of being immortal. Celestia had assured Twilight that the bout of insomnia would ultimately be harmless, if unpleasant. She’d managed with minimal sleep for a thousand years, after all. Twilight’s disappointment in her mentor’s unusually callous response had been crushing.

At least Luna had sent some help, in the form of pills. The little dark things were the only reason Twilight was getting any sleep at all. The pills made her fall comatose for an hour or so, leaving her in a death like state. She always awoke with a sweat, feeling as though she had been suffocating in a nightmare she couldn’t remember. Luna had labeled the pills “For Twilight’s use only! Take one every 24 hours at most, NO MORE!!!!”

After a quick chemical test, Twilight was confident the pills were mostly saxitoxin—a particularly lethal, if comfortable, poison. Just half a drop would be plenty enough to kill a normal pony, sending them to an eternal sleep. The pills were packed with far, far more than a drop. Luna’s warnings would not go unheeded.

Like it or not, she was awake and now had a pounding pressure in her head. Now that her hour of death-sleep was over, she had little to do till sunrise. She could write a letter to Spike, but he wouldn’t respond for a few days. He was off on some grand adventure with one of Rarity’s or Sweetie Belle’s great-grand foals. Twilight knew some of her friends’ descendants very well, but was ashamed to say that she didn’t keep up with their whole family lines as closely as Spike had. The dragon had an improbably impeccable memory when it came to ponies. Still, she made an effort to visit each of their family reunions every six years on rotation, and was close friends with about thirty of the current crop of descendants.

It was Fluttershy’s reunion year, and the date was approaching.

Twilight smiled softly, remembering her friend. Fluttershy hadn’t left a traditional family line. She and Discord had adopted a small group of creatures instead of having children, and their descendant's reunions were always a little crazy. Pinkie would be proud of the mad parties they threw.

Blinking, Twilight realized there was one friend she could bother. One who wouldn’t mind the odd hour at all, and might appreciate the unannounced call.

Lifting her heavy hooves, she made her way to the open balcony and stepped out into the night sky, stretching her purple wings into the breeze and taking a deep breath. She posed for a few moments, airing her feathers and allow her sweat to dry under the stars. The warm summer air gently caressed her as she tightly stretched her wings, and the suffocating feeling gradually slipped away as she refocused her mind.

Twilight closed her eyes, smiling as she softly flapped; fanning the air into a small vortex. The light wind quickly did its work, and while she looked a bit mussed, she wasn’t soaking with sweat at least. She was allowed to look disheveled. It was two in the morning, and he wouldn’t mind.

She closed her eyes and spoke quietly. The quieter she was, the more likely he was to hear, after all. “Discord? Do you have a moment?”

She kept her eyes closed and held her breath. It wasn’t likely he’d come. She hadn’t spoken to him in a few years. He was running a theme park last she’d heard, one based on noodles. Supposedly it was doing well. Of course, the less likely he was to show up, the more sure he was to arrive. Discord had always been paradoxical like that. Especially once Fluttershy had passed.

He’d grown more cryptic, but gentler in a way as well. He hadn’t been directly involved in an event that risked Equestria since. Twilight secretly thought it was because he’d been grateful to Equestria as a whole for his time with Fluttershy. She’d never asked.

“While I have nigh on infinite moments, my dear, what makes you think I’d spend them on you?” His disinterested voice came from behind, inside her room.

Twilight smiled, opening her eyes but not turning around. “I just thought you might be up for a chat is all. It’s been a while.”

Discord harrumphed. “Some friendship princess you are. Not that I mind, but I haven’t heard from you in twenty eight thousand three hundred sixty three hours and you call me up because you’re bored and can’t sleep?”

Twilight sighed. Now that he’d said it, it was a little rude of her.

She heard a springy thump as he flopped backwards onto her bed. She could hear his eyes roll as he spoke. “Are you two hundred fifty or fifteen, Princess?”

Twilight paused. Perhaps calling Discord to alleviate her boredom hadn’t been a good idea.

She turned around and forced a weak smile. “There’s no need to add years to me. I’m a little younger than that, Discord…”

He was laying in her bed, on his stomach eating popcorn with his talon and grinning like an idiot while he slowly kicked his mismatched feet back and forth in the air. Twilight felt a brief moment of frustration as she watched him drop one of the popcorn kernels, and realized she’d have to fish that out of the bed later.

Discord raised an eyebrow. “Younger than fifteen? Well I suppose I can forgive an impetuous teenager for her abysmal manners.” He looked her in the eyes as he dumped the rest of the popcorn box onto her bed. “Whoops.”

Twilight’s eyes went wide as they flickered to the greasy pile of popcorn now settling in her fancy weighted blanket. Greasy, hard, salty, crumbling popcorn kernels were now embedded in her bed. It was a tactile nightmare, and not one that would come out easily.

Now she remembered. This was why she hadn’t spoken to him in a while. He’d been oddly aggressive with her the last decade or so, taking every opportunity to antagonize her in the most petty ways.

Still, she’d called him this time, and dirty sheets filled with popcorn were annoying, but nothing more. He was testing her. It was two in the morning, and she was losing her mind; she’d called on Discord after all. Twilight narrowed her eyes as she smiled widely. She must have gone mad, and the thought was oddly freeing.

“You know how old I am, Discord.” She charged up her horn as discretely as possible.

Discord frowned. “I suppose age is just another little box they like to put us in, isn’t it? Still, I don’t know if I should forgive you or not. Is that what a good friend would do?”

Twilight waited until the exact moment when he turned his nose up at her. Discord was oddly predictable in some ways; once again paradoxically so.

She did it silently, without a hint of effort. Any small clue and he’d notice it louder and more clearly than if she’d yelled at him. No clue at all, and he’d miss it. She knew his tricks. Most of them, at least.

Discord opened his eyes to find his head poking out from a small mountain of greasy un-popped popcorn kernels, his body buried along with Twilight’s bed, and most of her room. The pile ended at her hooves, but filled the room entirely.

He glanced down at the small mountain of popcorn kernels, then back up at Twilight in surprise, only able to get out one word. “What?”

Twilight’s smile grew wider, and her horn flashed. “Pop.”

Discord screamed in mock terror, covering his face.

Nothing happened, and Twilight’s horn flashed again. Then again. Slowly, Discord opened his eyes to a now giggling Twilight. He harumphed, grabbing an un-popped kernel and tossing it into his mouth. “I don’t think its nice to play tricks like that on your friends, Twilight.”

Twilight smiled, picking up one of the kernels herself. “I just took some pictures. You looked silly. Would you rather I popped them?”

Discord glared at her before slinking under the popcorn. “Yes I would.”

Twilight fought back a laugh. “Okay.”

The resulting popcorn explosion threw her out the window, and onto the castle courtyard, where she lay on her back shaking. She couldn’t breathe from how hard she was laughing.

Twilight couldn’t stop thinking about his face in that moment, and better yet she’d managed to capture it in a few spells. She’d need to get them onto a crystal to be printed first thing in the morning. It was rare to get one over on Discord, and she’d destroyed her room in the process. Not like she had been using it properly anyways.

Her guards found her still on her back with popcorn stuck in her mane and tail, giggling wildly. It took her almost an hour to convince them that she was mostly mentally stable. It took the rest of the morning to get her room cleaned, and Discord had been nowhere to be found, except for a greasy draconequus shaped silhouette on her wall.

The next day, she printed the pictures she’d taken, and sent a few copies to his office at “Noodles of Oodles”. She always kept her favorite pictures up on the wall in her room, and now Discord buried in popcorn kernels was next to some of the older pictures of her friends. She’d made sure to put Discord next to Fluttershy. They’d both appreciate the little gesture.

Court seemed easier, and her day went mostly painlessly. Even as she stood in front of her bed, dreading her coming death-sleep, she felt lighter in a way. Maybe she’d see if he’d come around more often? Twilight swallowed a pill, laid down, and blacked out with a smile.

Twilight woke up screaming. She couldn’t remember why. It hurt. She was scared. No, it wasn’t real. It wasn’t… anything. Her usually comforting blanket was suffocating her, and she rolled out from under it, falling onto the floor of her room and landing on her side. She wildly scrambled to get to her hooves, unable to find purchase in a body much too large to be hers. Sweat dripped from her, and her eyes were heavy with tears.

She gulped a few sobbing breaths as she looked around, confused by what she saw. The bed was huge, the walls weren’t her comfortable oak; no, it was supposed to be crystal. Instead it looked almost like Celestia’s room, but wrong somehow. Where was she, where was Spike? She almost called to him before the memories came back.

She was older. She was a princess. She didn’t live in Golden Oaks Library, or even Friendship Castle. She lived in Canterlot, in the Royal Suite. Celestia and Luna had retired, long ago, and it was just her. No Spike. Not even her friends.

Twilight steadied a hoof as she focused on it. No, she had friends. She’d made hundreds and hundreds of friends, and each one was special. It’s just that many had passed on. Also, many couldn’t be bothered right then. Not that they’d complain, she was a princess, but it wouldn’t be right. Perhaps Luna could be called?

Twilight sucked in a breath. No, she could do this. She was fine. It was just a nightmare. And not even one she could remember. She didn’t need to bother anypony. The now familiar pressure of being awake returned, making her mind feel like an overripe fruit. Slowly, she pulled herself up onto all four hooves. The room felt dark, even with the balcony window open. How long had it been since she’d slept proper? She frowned. Celestia was sure there would be no problem from the lack of sleep, but Twilight wasn’t as confident. She felt her own misery was more than enough of a problem, but had hesitated to bring it up.

Twilight glanced at the photos of her friends, finding comfort in their faces, when her eyes fell on Discord covered in popcorn. It had been five days. Perhaps he’d forgiven her.

Without thinking about it, she mumbled over her bed, staring weakly at the photo as she trembled slightly from her nightmare. “Discord, do you have a moment?”

She hadn’t even realized she’d said it before an amused voice slipped from the photo.

“I daresay I have an abundance.” The Discord in the photo stuffed a handful of popcorn kernels into his mouth, chewing on them loudly.

Twilight glanced nervously around the room. “Would you mind spending some for a… chat with me?”

Discord hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I’m not sure. Are you going to cover me in popcorn again?”

Twilight shook her head. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

He snapped his finger, frowning. “If that’s how it is, then I just might have more important things to spend my moments on.”

Twilight cracked an amused smile at his visible disappointment. “Maybe we can see where the night goes? Some things are better left unplanned, right?”

A claw tapped her on the shoulder, and the Discord in the picture dove under the popcorn.

“You are a sweet talker, aren’t you? Well, perhaps I can spare some time. But you’ll owe me some of yours. What do you say? Ready to make a deal with a devil?”

Twilight pretended to mull it over. “Sounds risky. What if you ask me to do something illegal? I’m the ruling princess of Equestria, you know. I wouldn’t be punished for helping you with one of your maelstroms of mayhem.”

Discord’s claw gave her a light scratch, barely getting under her fur. “Nothing so nautical, Twilight. A squid pro grow. Or some other giant sea creature, perhaps. I spend time on you, you spend time on me.”

Twilight groaned before answering. She could play this game. She didn’t like it, but she could play it. “Whale, if that’s all, then I suppose I’ll accept. Like yourself, I’ve found I have an abundance of moments to spare lately.” She was startled when his claw firmly grasped her shoulder.

Discord abruptly invaded Twilight’s personal space to lift her off the ground like a toy and then tossed her haphazardly on the bed. The sudden movement surprised her, she wasn’t used to being tossed around so easily. Unless dragons were visiting, she was usually the largest thing in the room. Even then, nopony alive would consider simply tossing the princess of Equestria.

She quickly righted herself, finding Discord sitting on a comfortable looking chair that hadn’t been there before. He was wearing a pair of spectacles and had a notebook, clearly playing the part of armchair psychiatrist.

Twilight fluffed her wings in frustration, but settled down on her bed.

“So tell me about your mother.”

Slightly frustrated, Twilight started to talk. “Discord! I had a wonderful relationship with my family, and you know it.”

Discord scribbled something on his pad. “I see. I see. Now, what was her name again?”

Twilight paused. “She was just mom to me.”

Discord looked over his notebook, locking eyes with Twilight in the dim room. “Surely you remember the name of your mother.”

Twilight stared back at him silently as a sudden guilt washed through her.

He hummed, scribbling another thing in his book. “Interesting. And your father’s name?”

Twilight buried her face as she began to sniffle. She hadn’t been prepared for this, and the guilt was heavier than she expected. “He was just Dad…”

Discord nodded, glancing back down at his notepad. “Not his name either?”

Twilight held up a hoof. “I can remember. I can remember both of them. It will just take a moment.”

He frowned. “Time is up! Change places!”

Suddenly Twilight was in the chair, holding a notepad and wearing glasses. Discord was in her bed, laying flatly on his back and staring solemnly at the ceiling. She blinked, confused and still teary eyed. The paper seemed blurry through the glasses, but she could barely make out some doodles that he’d left on the pad. The doodles were some stars and a half crescent moon, emblems she quickly identified as her parents’ cutie-marks. “Night Light and Twilight Velvet…” Twilight whispered, relief washing over her as the names came.

Discord humphed, angrily. “Hey! It’s my turn. You got the squid, now I get the pro! You can go when it’s your turn again.” He huffed before settling back into the solemn gaze at the ceiling.

Twilight sniffed back her tears. He was just as crazy as always, but he was trying to help in his own way. “Of course… Why don’t you tell me about your parents?”

Discord stayed emotionless as he settled his claws on his belly. “I can’t.”

Twilight mumbled, still confused. “You can’t?”

He grunted. “I would if I could! I can’t remember daddy draconequus or mommy. I don’t know if they were mama and papa, mom, dad, or pops… let alone their names. I don’t know if I was born like this or if I became like this! It’s all gone!” He looked at her in a panic as he started to hyperventilate. “What do I do, Doc?”

Twilight frowned, watching Discord pull out a paper bag and breathe into it as he looked around the room in a panic.

He grumbled into the bag, seemingly confused. “Where am I anyway?” Discord pulled the bag away from his face, looked at Twilight, and snapped his fingers.

Twilight was laying in the bed again, disoriented from the sudden shift. Now she was laying on her back. “So you don’t remember your parents at all?”

Discord snorted angrily. “It’s your turn, Twilight. Not mine. Now where were we?”

Twilight sniffled, answering nonsensically to distract herself. “We’re in the Royal Suite, in Canterlot.”

Discord frowned. “Don’t be so obtuse. Although, let’s dissect what you said. You said ‘the Royal Suite’. Not in your room. Where is your room, Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight mulled the question over. Her room was back at her home where she grew up. Maybe the tower here in the castle, but really she had only spent a few years there. No, the place she wanted to call home was her oak tree. Golden Oaks. A library she could never return to. A cozy warm fire with a wall of books and a snoozing baby dragon. Outside was a plethora of friends waiting for her and a giant world filled with adventure. It was all gone. Her friends had all passed, the books had been read, the dragon had grown up, the world had gotten smaller and more familiar. In the end, the fire had gone out.

Discord groaned again. “Well, this is just not working. If you don’t talk, you don’t therapize. You’re a terrible patient. You make a better therapist.”

Twilight was holding the notepad, sitting up again. On it was a blurry picture of a tree. Discord was staring wistfully at the ceiling, apparently lost in thought.

She carefully flipped the page, and put the pencil on the paper. “So, Discord, where is your home?”

Discord smiled. “I made my home. It’s where I’m happy. It doesn’t have gravity, or bug queens, or a real sense of time and space. It’s just perfect.”

Twilight took a breath, letting her magic doodle on the paper. “So the chairs are on the ceiling and the clocks run backwards?”

Discord sat upright, looking at her with earnest joy. “The ceilings, the walls, and occasionally the fridge, just to be safe. And the clocks run backwards, forwards, left to right, and away from the fine china.”

“That’s certainly intriguing. I’d like to visit one day.”

Discord blinked at her, slightly confused. “You want to… visit my home?”

Twilight snorted. “Well, I can’t visit mine. Yours sounds nice, in its own way.”

He glanced at her, and then glanced around sneakily. Then he whispered to her. “I know what’s wrong with you… I know why you can’t sleep.”

Twilight put the notepad down, and leaned forward. “And why is that?”

Discord snapped his fingers.

Suddenly, Twilight was laying on the bed again, while Discord was sitting in the chair holding the notepad. He looked at it intently before stuffing it into a shirt pocket in his coat that hadn’t existed before.

“Your diagnosis is simple. You’re old.”

Twilight took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and groaned loudly as she covered them. She didn’t know why she thought he might actually help her.

He hummed. “You only got so much room in that gigantic noggin of yours, and it’s time for you to brain dump some. But you don’t want to let go, do you?”

Twilight opened her eyes, surprised at how much and how little sense that made. Maybe he was on to something.

“But Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Flurry don’t have that problem.”

He hummed. “Oh they do. But how many friends does Celestia make? About ten a century? Luna makes even less, the old nag. Besides, those two aren’t afraid to let go. Cadance is on to, what, lover number four? I haven’t been counting. Even Flurry is Flurry. I’m not sure ponies stick in her mind for more than a minute. But you? You’ve made hundreds and hundreds of friends, and you try to know everything you can about them. Your brain is so filled with other ponies that you haven’t made room for yourself.”

Twilight frowned. “What about Spike? He’s doing fine, and he has as many friends than I do.”

Discord laughed. “Spike? He’s a dragon! He’s made to live a long time. Plus, dragons have an excellent memory when it comes to their treasure. Most dragons hoard wealth. That weirdo hoards friends as his treasure. I blame you. You were a bad influence on him. For shame!”

“This is crazy!”

“Crazy? Yes. That’s why you need a therapist. My turn! I’m crazy, too!”

Twilight was sitting in the chair again, wearing the spectacles. The notepad was gone.

Discord was sitting up in the bed smiling. “Did you mean it?”

“What?” Twilight couldn’t keep up anymore. He was changing too fast. Everything was too fast.

“Did you really think my house sounded nice? Or were you just trying to flatter me?” He looked intently at her.

She wanted to tell him that she was done, that she needed some time to think about what he’d said. But his smile was strangely hopeful. Twilight stuffed her confusion and fear in a mental box, deciding to play with Discord a little longer. He just seemed… like he needed it.

“Um… Yes. It sounds nice to have someplace where…” Twilight fumbled for a second. She wanted to be genuine, so she smiled when she found something that rang true to her. “… the rules don’t apply.”

Discord’s eyes sparkled. “I know, right? Ooh! How about next time you wake up lonely and afraid, I’ll call you and you can spend some time at my place instead of in the Royal Suite? It’ll be far more therapeutic than this nonsense.” He waved nonchalantly at the room. “We might even be able to do something about your problem.”

Twilight nodded, honestly interested. “That sounds nice. Although, while I wouldn’t mind a rescue, perhaps I could visit during a normal waking hour? I’d feel bad being an emotional zombie while I visited. And you’ve been…” Twilight paused and then smiled as she realized what she was about to say. “Very kind to me, Discord.”

Discord flashed a toothy grin. “Well, I learned from the best. Then perhaps I’ll pick you up, sometime between now and next week?”

“I suppose that works.” Twilight decided on a particular clause, remembering a prank of his from back when Rainbow was still around. “Just don’t grab me while I’m using the bathroom, please.”

“Deal.”

Twilight had lost count of exactly how many days it had been since she’d seen Discord. Time was slipping for her. Had it been three days or five? Her court appointments were getting confusing, and she was having trouble focusing. Luckily, she had an attendant to help with note taking. The dreadful life saving pills had run out, and Luna had told her to wait a week before using any again. Something about leaving the firmament or something. Twilight swore somebody else warned her of something, but couldn’t remember it. Had it been a dream? Maybe it had, but she only had nightmares lately. Just dark, empty… clawing nightmares.

There was a flurry of ponies talking to her and she nodded, smiled, and tapped her attendant when she was confused. The attendant, Crystal Trend, was aware of her sleep issue and had been helping cover for her.

Twilight blinked, and they seemed to be alone.

“Princess… I know you like to work, but I really think you need a sabbatical. At least until you feel better.” Crystal was pouting at Twilight.

Twilight pouted back. “Crystal! You know I can’t do that. It puts ponies at ease to bring their matters to my court.”

Crystal glared. “It doesn’t put them at ease to see you stare off in space while they visit. I daresay it does the opposite, Princess.”

Twilight frowned. Crystal was right.

A deep voice echoed through the nearly empty throne room. “And that’s my cue! Stage left! Or was it right?”

Twilight whipped her head to the side as Crystal covered her mouth with a hoof. Discord was standing next to her throne seemingly distracted by his left paw and his right claw as they jumped from arm to arm. “Lefty! Righty! How could you betray me like this?”

Crystal stifled her surprise and took a step back, whispering nervously. “Discord…”

Twilight smiled, strangely pleased. “Crystal, please relax. Discord is my friend.”

Discord looked up and swapped his hand and paw again. “That I am! And I believe you promised to visit? Your attendant thinks you should take a break, and I think now is a perfectly cromulent time!”

Twilight supposed he was right. Crystal was an attentive pony, and if she was suggesting that Twilight take time off, then Twilight should probably take time off. Sighing, she turned back towards Crystal. “Alright. You both win. I’ll take a short sabbatical to spend some time with my friend. Can you take care of that for me?”

Crystal nodded, keeping her eyes on Discord. “Yes, your Majesty… but… well… He’s Discord?”

He laughed. “In the flesh. Aren’t I amazing?”

Twilight smiled reassuringly. “He’s my friend, Crystal. Discord and I have known each other for a very, very long time. Believe me when I say that his pranks are a lot more harmless nowadays. Dare I say… fun?” She had liked the time a few years back when he’d turned Central Park into Central Bark, causing all the ponies to only be able to bark. It had been harmless, it was only for a day, and it had been amusing. The foals had loved it, making a game out of jumping in and out of the park mid sentence.

Discord puffed his chest out glaring haughtily at Crystal. “Yes. I am her friend. And I am hilarious. Devastatingly so.”

He swirled his fingers, and Twilight was somewhere else.

Discord looked smug. Twilight glanced around in a panic. There was no ground, no sky, and seemingly no… anything. Just a purple swirly mass of energy in the distance with crashing clouds and thunder. She kicked her legs, finding no purchase, floating helplessly in the void.

“Discord! Where are we?” Her voice was tinged with panic.

He skated on nothing, circling her as he spoke. “The Chaos realm! My domain! My special place! Where all chaos comes from and all is made. I am the prime being here, the master of the realm, the king, the one, the only… Discord!”

She glared at him. “I wasn’t done talking to Crystal! She doesn’t know how long I plan to be gone.”

He shrugged. “Plans? Eew. Not here. No, you said I could grab you when you weren’t going to the bathroom. So I did.”

Twilight remembered why she stopped hanging out with him regularly a few decades ago as she grit her teeth to smile. “Yes, I suppose I did.”

He playfully slapped her on her back, sending her careening through the void in a tumble. “Excellent! You’re going to visit my house! I haven’t had a visitor in a long time so I cleaned up a little. Got rid of the gremlins and the floor nails and even the cluster bunnies just for you!”

Twilight spun helplessly, fruitlessly kicking her legs and flapping her wings a few times, but with no luck. She grumbled as the purple storm clouds seemed to whip around her with each tumble. “How… nice.”

He grabbed her gently by her shoulders, stopping her spinning as he leaned in closer to whisper to her. “I even applied some… ugh… gravity.” He distastefully spat the word out. “I wouldn’t do that for anypony, you know.”

She honestly smiled, remembering how he used to rant to Fluttershy about hating gravity. “I actually do appreciate that, Discord. Thank you. Can you, uh, lead me there?”

He blinked, looking around in confusion. “Oh! Yes. You don’t know how to skate by. Always the workaholic… I taught Fluttershy, you know.”

Twilight blinked, forgetting the purple maelstrom to watch his eyes. They had a glazed, far away look as though he was remembering something terribly enthralling.

“At the end, she was a master of it. She was almost more nimble than I am, if you can believe it. She was like a beautiful bolt of madness here… much faster than she ever was in the normal boring realm.” His eyes twitched and he sighed.

Twilight put a hoof on him, reassuringly. “I’m sure she loved it.”

He smiled. “She did. Oh she very much did!” His smile grew wide; gleefully so. “Now come along!”

Something shifted, and Twilight felt the sensation of momentum. She wasn’t moving, but clearly she was traveling somehow. It would have been incredibly disorienting if it wasn’t for Discord’s soft paw firmly on her back.

She watched the tempest rolling in the distance as they moved across them empty space.

Tempest. There was a pony she hadn’t thought of in a long time. Twilight blinked, trying to remember the pony’s real name. She’d shared it in confidence once. An intimate moment where Twilight had made a friend for life. And now the name was somewhere stuck in her brain. Soda burst? No. Firecracker dance? No. Twilight groaned. It had been such a pretty name. Something long, happy, and colorful like pony names should be.

Discord tapped her head. “Hello in there! We’re here!”

Twilight opened her eyes, confused again. Where was she? Why was Discord… oh.

She meekly blushed. “Sorry. I, uh… was trying to remember somepony’s name.”

Discord quickly frowned, then grinned wide. “Oh. Well, we’ll get to that later I suppose. Until then, welcome to Casa Discord!” He gestured at a floating house.

Twilight let her eyes wander. It looked… normal. Huh. It was a red little house with a thatch roof, like had been common in Ponyville back when Twilight had lived there. Something that any of her friends might have lived in. There was a little path to the front door, a white picket fence, and even an apple tree in the front yard. Her eyes drifted beyond the front yard, and noticed an infinite void past it. They ground simply seemed to disappear, like they were on some floating island.

She looked curiously at Discord. “It’s… surprisingly cozy.”

He blushed. “Oh, I know! I just love it. I am very humble. But don’t worry, it’s bigger on the inside.”

Twilight walked up to the door, looking at the stylized draconequus he had as doorknob. “Humble… I can see that.”

The door swung itself open, and the house began to bob from side to side and sing.

“~Twilight! ~Twilight! Welcome to our house! We’d love to have you here, that much we do espouse!”

She ignored the song, and carefully stepped through the door. Inside was more spacious than it had seemed, Dicord hadn’t been lying. She watched as the foyer seemed to change shape and wiggle slightly to match the song. The décor was dated, clearly about two hundred years old. She recognized much of the furniture as having once been Fluttershy’s. Her eyes drifted to Discord.

He was waiting, literally holding his breath and turning colors as he tapped a nervous paw to claw.

She smiled warmly. “Your house is lovely, Discord. I really should have come by sooner.”

He opened his mouth, and deflated like a balloon. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to find him standing on the other side of her with a smug grin on his face. “Isn’t it? I’m so happy you did make time to come by, even if it was only because of some sort of immortality induced psychosis. I’m actually a little frustrated about that part, but then again, some of my best friends are mad! Well, at least one of the two of them that’s still alive.” He smiled pointedly at her.

Twilight sighed. “I really am sorry.”

He frowned, crossing his arms and falling back into a couch that looked alarmingly like Rarity’s red feinting chaise lounge. “Prove it.”

She blinked in surprise, not expecting to see a relic from one of her other friends. “Is… that Rarity’s?”

He shrugged. “No, it’s mine. But I guess it used to be.”

She felt faint for some reason. “I… I didn’t know you two were close.”

He growled. “We were. She left it to me in her will. I also have a collection of originally signed Rainbow Dash memorabilia, Rootswella—a tree from Applejack’s farm, you saw her out front—and two of Pinkie Pie’s party cannons. I even have Boneless Three from Cheese, Big Mac’s wig collection, and a comic book collection from Spike. Who regularly sends me new additions to it when he finds something interesting, mind you, as he doesn’t ignore me for decades on end.”

Twilight took a deep breath. She could guess what was lacking. “I’ve been a poor friend to you, Discord.”

He rolled his eyes. “You don’t need to give me anything Twilight. I have enough stuff. But I would like if you dropped by more. Or called me every once in a while. Or sent a letter. You know, thought of me in some way besides as a solution to your little problem.”

She deflated. “I… guess I lost track of things.”

He harumphed, pointedly turning his head and closing his eyes. “Yes, you did.”

Twilight bit her lip. “What if… I offered to spend more time with you?”

He opened one eye. “I don’t want a deal, Twilight. I just want to know you think of me every once in a while.”

She shuffled nervously. “Well, I know you like deals. And I know I’m bad with time. So what if we made a deal? You can come visit me once a week no matter how angry I am with you. Then you don’t feel guilty reminding me, and I’ll keep on track.”

He frowned. “No deal. I don’t want to have to remind you to be my friend.”

She bit her lip. “What if I visit you instead? Or at least call you? Then we can decide whose house we visit at. It doesn’t have to be big. Just… tea every once in a while.”

Discord deflated when she said “tea”. He looked at her oddly sadly. “You… want to do a weekly tea?”

Twilight nodded. “I would love to, if you’d let me. Although, if it’s not on a schedule then I might have a hard time being on time. I’m a princess after all.”

He frowned. “I hate schedules…” then he glanced up at his cupboard. “But I like tea…”

She smiled. “What if I set up the tea every Friday at noon? Then you can show up or not, or be late, or be early as you want. But I’ll set a cup and a plate for you regardless.”

He put his claw in his mouth and chewed on the talons as he thought.

Twilight continued, “You can even ponynap me during teatime. That way we can visit at your place if you want. It’s very nice, but I can’t easily get here.”

He glanced nervously at her. “Oh, I can teach you that.”

She smiled warmly, extending a hoof. “Do we have a deal?”

He chewed on his claw until it entirely disappeared, then used his paw to pull another from behind his back and screw it on his arm stump. He looked at her intently. “What do you get out of this deal?”

Twilight laughed. “I get more time with my friend… You. And you said you’d try to help me with my problem, but even if you can’t I’ll still be happy just to spend time with you.”

The house seemed to flex, as Twilight heard the singing continue on outside. Something about a fair and a derriere. Discord reached out a paw and then covered it with his claws, as though he seemed eager but afraid.

“And I get…?”

She smiled, reassuringly. “Weekly visits. Tea time. The promise not to ignore you for decades on end. Permission to ponynap me as needed, but only on Fridays after noon.”

There was a sad timber as he spoke quietly. “You’re not trying to replace Fluttershy?”

She felt a pang of guilt. She knew he did tea with Fluttershy. She’d just forgotten. “No… Just… me. Just your friend. I don’t think I could, you know?”

He nodded. “Oh, I know…” He looked down at his paw, and lifted his claw, reaching forward with the lion paw and leaning away from Twilight as he reached out toward her. Like he was reaching into a fire.

He sounded unsure, like he was asking her the question. “Deal?”

She smiled, taking his paw in her hoof. It was soft and firm at the same time.“Deal. We have a weekly tea time. I’ll have Crystal make sure my Friday afternoons are clear for you.”

He grinned as he shook her hoof. Somehow, he felt warm and fuzzy in her grasp, like a teddy bear.

His voice was ecstatic. “Let me show you the tea room!”

She followed quickly, happy that he was happy. And after all, isn’t that what friends are?

Dark.

Warm fuzzy fur. Blinking lights. Heat. Taste of fur. Push. Move. Pull. Lift. Squeeze the warmth. Feel it. Taste it. Muffled groan. Sweat. Spit. Swallow. Hot. Slick. Tight. Hard. Wet. Salty. Slip further.
Safe. Fur. Warm. Wrapped. Hot. Sweat. Confusion.

Confusion? Helpless. Helpless. Help…

Tingling hooves. Hot air. Wrapped. Surrounded. Stifled. Taste of salt. Taste of spit. Bumps, long, choking, dark. Sweet dark. Lovely dark. Tails entwined. Swish. Squeeze. Lovely, deep, warm, spit, swallow, swallow, swallow, swal… open. Deep. No air. No light. No gagging? Just heat. Deep, warm, wet, surrounded, possessed, held, stroked, squeezed.

Tails together. Legs spread. Cold air. Warm flesh. Not fur. Wet, slick skin on skin. Skin in skin. Warm. Wide. Stretched. Filled. Wet. Fading. Dark. Sweet dark. Warm dark. Loving dark. Fading. So… very… deep… Ecstasy.

Dark, sweet bliss. Claws and fur and paws and tongue and tail and warmth and heat and stretched and filled and bliss and love and need. Need. Need. Need…!

Pleased. Safe. Warm. Filled. Ache. Hungry. Love. Dark. Spit. Fur. Heat. Surrounded. Held. Lifted. Sweet. Soft. Slow. Spit and tongue. Mouth open. Tails entwined. Inside. Filled. Hungry.

Sweet darkness.

Again…

Twilight awoke from her death sleep with a cold sweat and a furiously beating heart. Groggily, she lifted her head from her pillow, and sat up in her bed. The humid air fought to drown her as the sheets clung wetly to her body, thoroughly soaked. Even her pillow seemed absolutely drenched.

Her head ached painfully, the usual headache somehow worse.

She coughed, spitting up a surprising amount of phlegm and mucus that had been stuck to her throat. Was she sick? She pulled herself out of bed, landing comfortably on her hooves and making her way to the bathroom so she could spit the salty mucus out of her mouth.

As she stood over the sink watching her disgustingly stringy loogie swirl down, her headache started to fade. She blinked, looking at her reflection. Her hair was frazzled, soaked with drool and sweat. Her eyes had sunken bags under them. But somehow… she had more color in her fur than she’d had in weeks. The pressure that had been pounding behind her skull for so long was… gone?

Curious, she lifted her hoof and inspected it as she realized that she hadn’t stumbled when she jumped out of bed.

This felt like her body.

A flood of relief rushed through her as she looked at a clock in the bathroom and saw that it was early morning, but not insanely so. She couldn’t remember last night, but it was now just before the sun was supposed to rise.

She’d slept. She’d actually slept, and not just lied there half dead for an hour.

Her dreams had been… odd, but she couldn’t be too worried about it. It wasn’t the first time she’d had a dream like that, though it wasn’t exactly a good dream. As she thought of it, she decided that it wasn’t exactly a bad dream, either. Most of what she could remember was just a cascade of feeling and sensations that she’d never explain to anypony else. Compared to the empty nightmares she’d been having, the strangely intimate and confusing dream might as well have been a dreamland paradise.

But the dream was fading, as all dreams do.

She let the memories of the dream leak from her mind as she brushed her teeth and started to prepare for her day. As her body woke up, she felt lighter and more coherent than she’d felt in a long time. She almost felt young again.

Smiling, she began to rinse out her hair, feeling even more refreshed as more of the remnants of last night’s comatose sleep washed down the drain.

Crystal looked over her schedule one more time. “I think that’s it, your Highness.”

Twilight leaned back in her throne and smiled warmly. “Oh, good. Thank you for your hard work today, Crystal.”

The attendant sighed, then frowned as she looked at Twilight curiously. “I didn’t do anything. I just made sure you were on time, and today you didn’t seem to need me again.”

Twilight laughed. “I’ll always need you, Crystal. Don’t fret.”

Crystal blushed, looking downwards. “I know… it’s just, when I started working for you, and please forgive me, you were always so scatterbrained. You couldn’t stay focused for more than a minute or two. And then over the years you got worse until your sleep issues started. Then Discord kidnapped you for two days, and you came back… More organized, focused, and coherent than me. It’s only been a week, but now I’m reciting your checklists because you like hearing them, not because you need me to remind you. I’m eternally glad you’re feeling better, but I just don’t think you nee…”

Twilight smiled warmly at the worried mare. “No, I do need you, Crystal. I did have a problem, and Discord helped me with it. But, and here’s a real secret…” Twilight leaned forward conspiratorially. “My problem hasn’t gone away, and it never will. When things get bad, I’m going to need an assistant. I need you, you specifically, to know me. I need you to be able to tell when I’m slipping, because I can’t. I’ll need you to manage my schedules, organize my notes, and escort me to meetings because no one else can know quite how… lost I get. You’re my friend. One of the very few who know me at my worst.”

Crystal looked nervous. “So… you still need me?”

Twilight nodded. “I will always need an assistant, but right now I need you. Once again, thank you for your hard work. And I truly mean it!”

Crystal blushed. “Thank you. Well, the only thing on your schedule is tea with Discord and a free afternoon. Is he going to… ah… borrow you again?”

Twilight shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll have to see.”

Crystal looked sternly at the checklist. “I’m glad he’s helping you feel better, but I just don’t trust him. Something about him is… unnerving. I always feel like he’s a predator looking for a meal. Sometimes I feel… something worse from him.”

A deep voice came from Crystal’s mouth as she opened it in surprise. “It’s the teeth, isn’t it? They just look like they’re going to eat a pony right up!”

Twilight stared in morbid fascination as one of Crystal’s teeth started to grow into a long snaggletooth that had a little mouth and eyes on it. The tooth continued to grow out of Crystal’s head, much to Crystal’s horror.

It sprouted little arms and folded them over like it was offended as it grew, causing Crystal’s head to twist to the side from the weight. “Ponies are always scared of teeth. Always have been. Some things never change.”

Crystal looked pleadingly at Twilight, her eyes in a sheer panic.

Twilight shook her head, and spoke sternly. “Discord! Leave Crystal alone. She is not finding this funny.”

The now almost pony sized tooth popped itself out from Crystal’s head, turning around to bow apologetically as it continued to grow and slowly morph into Discord.

Crystal Trend put her hoof over her mouth and covered it in a panic, looking at Discord with terrified eyes, then at Twilight with nervous fear. She flushed red as her gaze went back to Discord’s still bowing form. “Don’t do that!”

Then she ran, leaving Discord bowing to nothing.

Twilight frowned. “You must know that ponies don’t like strange objects growing from in their bodies, Discord.”

Discord rolled his eyes as he stood up and faced Twilight. “Nonsense! I love strange objects growing from my body!”

Twilight glared at him.

He sighed. “You were more fun when you were insane. Far more adventurous.”

She sighed, forcing herself to smile. All this really was antithetical to who and what Discord was. She should be grateful. “I’m still up for a little bit of fun, Discord.” His ears perked forward strangely when she said that. “I’d just prefer if you didn’t terrify my friends in the process. Speaking of fun, you’re a bit early. I haven’t set the tea up yet!”

Discord furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “I noticed you were done early, so I popped on by. Would you rather I leave?”

Twilight slid off the throne, and walked up to him, looking sternly before smiling. “Not at all! I’m just sorry I don’t have the tea ready. Would you like to take it in the gardens? I’ve been thinking, and… She would have liked that, you know.”

A strange silence took Discord as he looked somehow guilty. “Yes. She would have… Although she would have missed her little…” He looked intently at Twilight, “Angel. Wouldn’t she?”

“Her angel? I thought you two were together? Or was that one of your kids?”

“Just one of the pets she had…”

Twilight laughed, feeling nostalgic “She did have so many… It’s not wonder I can’t remember them all. So, the garden? Or would you rather your place?”

Discord looked heavier somehow, as though his body was made of lead. “The garden. Please. Thank you. I’d like to feel proper sad with you instead of…” He waved his hands and they turned into sand while he watched, “Whatever this is.”

Twilight had never seen Discord look like this. Something was eating him up, but she couldn’t tell what. Carefully, she wrapped a comforting wing around him, noting that he felt oddly warm.

Fuzzy. Dark. Safe. Warm. Hot. Burning. Need.

She blinked, ripping her wing from him as a disorienting flash of sensations rushed through her.

What the heck was that? Her heart was pounding and her face burned with a bright red blush. He didn’t seem to notice her odd gesture, nor her reaction, instead staring blankly forward lost in his own thoughts.

He spoke slowly, still focused on nothing. “I’ve been… a certain kind of lonely. I don’t like it, you know? After your visit… I just want to be sad for a while first. With you? So I’m not lonely?”

Twilight took a deep breath and put her face into his shoulder, nuzzling him comfortably. She wasn’t about to hug him, not after that, but a simple nuzzle should be fine. Nothing weird happened, so she took another deep breath.

He smelled strange. Like raw magic and buttered noodles mixed with flowers and a farmhouse all at the same time. Something about the scent was both nostalgic and excitingly new. Had she never took the time to smell him like this?

What an odd thought. One doesn’t usually smell their friends. She supposed they did, just not… intentionally.

Her voice was careful. “Let’s go be sad then. We can talk about her. You can tell me what you remember and we can reminisce. I miss her terribly, I know you do as well. We’ll miss her together.”

His voice was strangely dark, almost jealous. “I’ll remember more than you.”

Twilight sagged. He probably would. Her memories of back then felt… faded somehow. “She was one of my first and best friends. But she was the same for you, and your lover, right? You should remember more than I. I think she’d like that.”

His arms started to turn to sand. “She would. But I don’t know if she’d want…”

Twilight hushed him. “Shoosh. Let’s go have tea and be sad in the garden. But first, race through the windows?”

Discord turned to look at her, the sand freezing. “The windows?”

Twilight smirked, then flew at one of her grand stained glass widows as fast as she could. The moment before she hit it, she used Haycarte’s method to put herself in the picture, letting herself become glass. The world was a kaleidoscope of color as she spread her wings and let the light filter through them.

She thanked whichever friend it was that had practiced this spell with her as Discord watched with a surprised look on his face, a smile creeping up as his eyes seemed to sparkle strangely. The purple light she was casting through the window made the whole throne room glow in her colors, and even Discord looked somehow breathless.

He shouted, grinning maniacally, “Through the glass it is then!”

Release Your Thoughts

The next tea was at Discord’s place. There hadn’t been any pomp and ceremony, he hadn’t terrified Crystal Trend by growing out of her body, and he’d been… close to on time. Close enough that she really couldn’t complain. Twilight’s only real complaint was that he’d ponynapped her quite suddenly.

Even then, she had given him explicit permission to do that on Fridays.

The pulsing purple mass of energy looked more like a burgundy today as Twilight spun slowly and helplessly in the void. She stretched her wings out and gave a flap, but nothing seemed to happen.

His voice was disappointed. “No, no. That wont work here. Wings don’t help you fly! You need skates!”

She kicked her hooves, causing her to spin slightly more. “I didn’t exactly get a chance to bring any skates with me, Discord. You just took me off my throne.”

He grumbled, and his claw grabbed her by the scruff of her neck like she was a cat—causing her to stop spinning at least. His frown was clearly unimpressed. “You’re trying too hard. Just… skate by. Like I told you last time.”

Twilight sighed, trying to approach this diplomatically. “Normally I’d tell you that puns wont help me, but I get the feeling they will here. If I really need to ‘skate by,’ this exercise might be antithetical to my nature. I know it’s a hassle, but would you mind helping me until I can manage?”

Discord’s grin grew surprisingly toothy. Twilight suddenly felt very vulnerable. She was effectively at his mercy, and his overly large mouth was looking abnormally predatory. His teeth reminded her of a wild animal’s; a wolf perhaps.

No wonder Fluttershy had grown so fond of him. She loved wolves.

He seemed pleased with himself somehow. “I suppose I can help for now… but you’ll have to learn eventually, Twilight.”

“I’ll just have to get more practice in. Assuming you don’t mind hosting more often?” She looked closer at his teeth, curious if he’d ever used them to bite somepony.

Discord puffed up, looking pompous. “Me host more? This is our second proper tea party, and I’ll have hosted half the time! I think half is a fair split between two creatures.”

Twilight shrugged. “I agree! Half is a grea…”

“Of course, since you so desperately begged me, how could I turn down a friend in need? I’ll host more often—but only because I’m such a good friend!”

“Desperately begged?” Twilight stared flatly.

He pulled out a mug, and a sign; giving them to Twilight to hold. She looked down, and the sign said “Please invite me over more often, Discord!” While the cup was half full of bits…

Twilight angrily threw them both into the void.

He grabbed her in the small of her back with his paw, turning her around and she felt the strange sensation of motion again. As they “skated” through the void, she began to relax. Even though there was no breeze, this was almost nice? And Discord was being gentle at least.

His head slid up next to hers, and she remembered that he was built like a big, bendy noodle. In a way, she was almost envious. He could arrange himself however he wanted, bending and twisting effortlessly.

“Isn’t it beautiful here, Twilight? The storm, the void, the everything, and of course the chaos just everywhere. I love it here.”

Twilight smiled, letting him guide her and not complaining when his head nuzzled up next to hers. He was being more affectionate than usual, and far more touchy than she expected but she didn’t mind. He seemed… happy? “It does suit you.”

He slid his claw from her neck, grabbing her underneath one of her wings and slightly stretching it out.

She felt a strange shiver. Something about this reminded her of something entirely different, but she couldn’t remember what. Had it been a dream?

Warm, hot, safe, dark, fur, spit, wet, hot, hot, hot!

She shook her head as the flash of sensations threatened to overwhelm her. She tried to pull away, but there was nowhere to pull to. Her wing folded in, found his claw underneath and then stretched out. Her tail swished aggressively.

The talons on his claw were sharp but gentle, digging into the soft flesh underneath her wing without hurting her…

Dangerous, sharp, safe, held, dark, fur, tingle, stretch, dizzy, filled, hot!

She blinked, fighting back the cacophonous flood of sensations. With great focus, she managed to light up her horn and use it to shift his claw out from underneath her wing. Discord didn’t complain or even seem to notice, his eyes were focused on the pulsing magical storm with a strange and faraway look.

Twilight shook. The strange flashes were over, but her heart was still racing. Her cheeks were still flushed, and she was short of breath.

What was that? The first time had been last week when she’d tried to hug him. This time he’d been simply helping her move through the void. Her ears felt like they were turning red from the heat. Why was she so warm? The whole mess of sensations were confusing, but the warmth at least was something she could understand. She just didn’t understand why she was feeling it.

Worse, it hadn’t gone away. Everything else was overwhelming, but it was there and gone in an instant. The warmth, though… the warmth lingered…

Discord’s couch was surprisingly cozy. Twilight’s face was still flushed, but she hoped he didn’t notice. He at least hadn’t said anything to her about it. The warmth hadn’t left her, and now it was making her mind wander.

“So I told him, ‘Macaroni? More like Macarina!’ and then we danced! Well, he danced and I played the banjo, but you know how these things go.” Discord seemed pleased with himself as he took another sip of the rose-hip tea he’d made.

Twilight’s eyes were focused on his claw as it held the mug he was drinking from. The claw looked sharp; it always had. It had felt sharp when he’d grabbed her. She’d never really noticed how physically dangerous Discord was—his magic had always been so much more problematic. But that claw… As Twilight watched, a burning hole opened up in it, causing some of it to melt off. She lurched back in surprise as Discord glared at her.

“I can’t help but noticed you’ve been staring a hole in my talon. Has the pony fear of all things predatory finally caught up to you? My claw and teeth never bothered Fluttershy, but you seem disturbed by them today.” His glare was dark.

Twilight sighed, looking apologetically down at her simple black tea. “I… No. That’s not the problem.”

Discord’s eyes narrowed. “So there is a problem?”

Twilight looked sheepishly to the side. “Not with you… with me.”

He took a sip of his mug, then turned it upside down and set it on the ceiling. Ants carrying sugar began to march towards it while he tilted his head in confusion. “I never expected I’d get the ‘It’s not you it’s me’ speech from you over tea, Twilight. And yet here we are at the second tea party no less!”

She shook her head. “I don’t mean like that. I just mean… I’ve been feeling strange lately. And I think it has to do with your… cure.”

Discord blinked, then his eyes went wide. “Oh. What kind of strange? Strange can be good.”

She let out a soft chuckle. “Not anything serious. Just a few unexpected sensations. Can we talk about… whatever you did? I honestly can’t remember much. Just that it helped.”

He shooed the ants away from his cup, watching them scurry. “It’s not a secret, Twilight. It’s just… well, I don’t mind breaking the natural order for any reason. This is… a little more dangerous. I’m abusing my powers to help a friend, which is a perfectly natural use of my powers, mind you. It’s just that they inherently create disorder. Not order. There might be some… small… side effects. More than, uh, we found out already. But I wouldn’t know. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Twilight took a sip of her tea. It wasn’t too sweet and wasn’t too bitter. She stared at him for a moment, letting her eyes wander back to his claw. The hole had been fixed. She shook her head, ripping her eyes away from it.

“I can’t seem… to remember anything that you did for me, Discord.”

Discord looked alarmed. “Wait… That wasn’t supp

The darkness was overpowering. Her mouth was full of fur. He tasted like candy and peppers at the same time, burning her tongue while simultaneously being too sweet.

Everything was too hot.

She couldn’t see anything. It didn’t matter. She didn’t need to see anything. She could feel everything. The beat of his heart. The ripple of his muscles.

His claw digging under her wing, pressing sharply and almost painfully as he gripped her. He was dangerously strong, and more immediately dangerously sharp. His teeth raked down her neck, causing her to shiver while his coiled body somehow surrounded her as she pressed her snout further into his fluffy chest.

He was encompassing her, wrapping her tightly and practically suffocating her in his embrace.

She was safe. She could relax. There was nothing she could do to escape even if she’d wanted to. He’d taken her horn, but he’d left her wings so she could embrace him. They were wrapped together, ravenously pressing their bodies as physically close as possible.

She needed this. She needed to be held, to be loved, to be… this. He needed it as well. She could feel his need in the low, possessive growl that rumbled from his chest as he gripped her tail with his lion’s paw. She didn’t struggle or complain as he lifted it. She was eager to give it to him—and everything it promised.

The warmth surrounding her pulsed strangely. It almost burned, but she didn’t mind. She tried to cry out with joy, but there was no air to gasp or fuel her words. It didn’t matter. She was still safe. She was still held. She was still his.

He wrapped his long, impossibly twisted body around her like a snake even as he kissed her neck and pulled his claw under her wings. His claw tickled in a strangely electric way. It was a different kind of dangerous, and not one she was shying away from.

All too soon, their mewling, eager mouths found each other. She went from suckling on his fur to sucking on his lower lip as soon as he offered. His teeth pressed against her mouth, and she realized he could swallow her whole if he wanted. Undoubtedly his mouth could open like a snake and simply… consume her.

Instead, their lips met and his tongue slid into her mouth like a burrowing snake. He didn’t taste like another pony. He was far more salty and earthy, his tongue almost tasting like dirty metal. Somehow, his slimy tongue was roughly bumpy and slick and slimy all at the same time. He felt like some animal, a mindless beast that had her trapped and vulnerable. It swirled in her mouth, refusing to stay in one place for more than a moment as he hungrily devoured her in an entirely agreeable way.

She wondered if she tasted sweet as he consumed her.

A hint of pepper, and something lemon sour at the same time dripped down her throat. His spit reminded her of the world’s strangest candy. Then his tongue probed further.

She expected she’d gag, but she quickly discovered that she didn’t. His tongue was easily as long and strong as his body. He could have skewered her with if he wanted; driving it through her heart like the helpless meat she was. She shivered, aroused by the strange thought.

Something wasn’t right. That wasn’t right. She tried to open her eyes, but they were already open. The world was simply dark. No, not like that.

She tried to open her real eyes.

Twilight woke with a sweat, her eyes snapping to her clock, surprised to be able to see at all. Somehow, she expected more suffocating darkness. Another almost full night of rest. Another pounding headache and a drenched bed. She shivered, the warm air still feeling cold against her soaked coat. She hacked and coughed, feeling her body coughing up another disgusting ball of dried mucus and spit as it woke from the deep, nearly comatose slumber she’d been in.

Drowsily, she worked her way to the bathroom, quickly finding a sink to spit in. She blinked, watching the thick and gooey ball of phlegm swirl in the water as her pounding headache faded and the sweat slowly dried from her fur.

Strangely, it tasted like pepper and lemon when she spat it out.

Her ragged eyes focused on her reflection, and with a growing terror she turned to the mirror and lifted her wing.

There were claw marks underneath.

How did she get those? Why did she even think to check? How did she know the marks were even from a claw? Her mind awakened to the world, and nothing made sense. Did it have to do with the dream she couldn’t remember?

She looked at a sheet of paper she kept posted to the mirror. A quick cognitive test. First find the date. Then convert it to absolute days since her ascension. Square the number. Divide by the month. If even, add the day of the week. If odd, multiply it by the nearest prime. Find the cubed root.

She blinked at the sheet. It was trivially easy. She needed to design a more difficult one—this sheet was taking her time a week ago, but now it was only a moment’s distraction. Her faculties seem better and better. She didn’t just feel young anymore. She felt young with the power and abilities of a two hundred year old alicorn. She was better and more capable than she had ever been in her “prime.”

Discord’s fix seemed to be working. She didn’t know why he seemed so panic… wait. She couldn’t remember their last visit. Hadn’t he been worried about her? The last thing she remembered was trying to explain her strange flashes, then he seemed concerned for some reason… and then…

It was morning.

Yawning, she set to brushing her teeth. Regardless of what else was happening, she felt amazing once the lethargy and morning headache wore off. Her eyes lingered on her wings and cutiemark, noting that she was practically glowing with color again. She hadn’t looked this bright in a century.

Spitting into the sink the mint toothpaste clashed strangely with a lingering taste of lemons and something spicy. What had she eaten?

She smiled as she made her way back to the bedroom, surprised to find a nervous looking Discord waiting for her on her bed. He was playing with a rubber chicken chicken of all things.

“Okay, Boneless. We can do this!” He said to the chicken, watching as it saluted him back.

Twilight cocked her head. “Discord? What are you doing in my room? Why do you have a toy chicken?”

He looked back at Twilight and the chicken seemed to fade from reality. “Twilight! What a surprise seeing you here.”

She scoffed. “This is my room. I’m supposed to be here.” Curiously she felt the need to be more friendly than she expected to be. “While you’re always welcome, might I ask what inspired you to visit as I was brushing my teeth?”

Discord bit his lip. “I know you said everything was fine and not to worry, but you also said some very concerning things a little earlier… and I can’t help but notice you haven’t touched… the thing you begged me to make.” He nodded towards a door.

Had that door always been there?

Twilight furrowed her brow. She didn’t remember any of this. “Discord, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He looked at the door and bit his claw. “That’s the answer we came up with. You, uh, even made something like a deal with me for it. But you haven’t touched it at all! Maybe that’s hurting you somehow? I fade when I don’t do chaos. Maybe when your friends are taken you…”

Fear raced through her. “Excuse me, what do you mean when my friends are taken?”

Discord shivered uncomfortable. “I can’t go inside. I can’t check. You’re the only one who can even know if it works! I thought you’d check it right away, but if it’s been two weeks… What if this hurt you? What if I hurt you?”

He looked terrified.

Twilight stepped towards him, feeling oddly confident. “You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine! I honestly feel better than ever. There’s some strange side effects, but honestly, they aren’t too bad. My only real concern is that I seem to keep forgetting our tea parties.”

He blinked, then frowned. “That far back? Oh… Oh that isn’t good. Maybe we shouldn’t…”

Twilight held up a hoof. “No, no. It really is fine. And I feel better than ever! My mind just seems… free. I can’t explain how much easier it is to simply think!”

Discord looked at her uncomfortably. “So, uh, what do you remember from the tea parties?”

Twilight shrugged. “The last thing was when I asked you to explain what we’d even done. I didn’t even get to hear your answer!”

Discord’s stomach fell out of him, leaving a round hole in his abdomen. Then his arms fell off, grabbed the stomach and put it back in place before crawling slowly back up his body; all the while he looked at them with an intense gaze. Twilight couldn’t tell if he was sad or feeling guilty. It seemed a bit dramatic to her. “So… you don’t remember any of the… conversations we had after?”

She frowned. Clearly this was a big deal for him. “I’m sorry, I really don’t. If it they were good conversations, maybe we can just have them again?”

He looked at her strangely, then his face crinkled up like he was going to cry. After a moment, he sighed, then shrugged. “C’est la vie… Maybe they’re in there?” He pointed at the door from earlier. “I hadn’t intended to put them in there, you were supposed to keep those, but chaos magic and all that. Could you look for me? I’m… not allowed inside.”

Twilight looked back at the door. Somehow it had slipped from her mind again. How had she not seen it if it’d been here for the last couple of weeks? Where did it even lead to?

Discord wasn’t his usual annoying self. If anything, he seemed afraid. He kept nervously glancing around the room as though he was doing something bad and someone was going to catch him.

She frowned. He wasn’t about to go through the door, and she felt capable of managing herself. Worst case, she could simply teleport back. She stepped forward, and grabbed the handle.

It was strangely warm to the touch.

Hot even.

Curiously, she pushed the door inward, and it opened easily. Inside was darkness. She should have been afraid, but it looked oddly comfortable? Something about it was

Safe

If anything, it made her feel warm and somehow she needed to go inside.

“Twilight? You look a little off. Are you okay?”

Twilight ignored his senseless rambling. There was something far more important than whatever he had to say. She put a hoof in the darkness, feeling it.

Hot, soothing, relax, safe, home.

Home.

Home!

A panicked voice shouted behind her. “Get back! It’s definitely not supposed to look like…”

Twilight jumped in, desperate to get back home.

She felt him caressing her back, gently rubbing a lion’s paw up and down her body. Their bodies were both hot, and his practically burned as he touched her. She didn’t mind. In the darkness, she couldn’t see him, but she could feel him.

“Do you still miss her?”

His voice was low and thoughtful, a far cry from the Discord she usually knew. Then again, they’d just done something she’d never have thought Discord would be interested in.

“I… always will. She was my first in so many ways.”

Twilight took a big, deep breath of his chest, letting the hot air run through his fur. He smelled like a herd of wild animals, now wet with summer rain. He felt fluffy, far softer than any pony. His claw trailed softly up her stomach, reminding her that he was far more sharp than any pony as well. A creature beyond extremes, a far cry from what might be considered a comfortable lover.

“I’m sorry that… I won’t. I still do, but someday I wont, right?”

He almost laughed, pulling her up his soft and hard body, letting her hooves drag across his fur and scales. He was so long, she felt like she was on a ride of some kind as he settled her face in front of his in the dark. She couldn’t see him, but she could feel him.

His breath was hot, much like hers.

“Don’t apologize. I’m the one that’s going to take her from you.”

He breathed in, his breath turning into a sucking vortex as she felt herself grow weak. The air rushed around her, pulling and tugging at her fur, and she opened her mouth to exhale.

And it all came out.

Her breath was sucked out of her, being swallowed by him as she relaxed. He was eating her. Not physically. Not with his teeth. But with his magic.

Memories flooded her mind.

Her mother. What was her name? Her father had… a blue coat? Or had he been green? Moon… Spinner? The DJ with the glasses. A small… what was it?

She felt dizzy. She wasn’t afraid. She wasn’t scared. This was their deal.

This was what Discord really was. Entropy. The slow, inevitable march of decay. And she was just as subject to it as anypony else. Even if her body never failed, even if her mind was as sharp as ever… nothing was infinite.

Except for him. The infinite void of chaos.

His mouth stayed open, but the air was gone. There was nothing left to breathe, but she didn’t mind. She wasn’t suffocating or in pain. In the airless vacuum, she placed a kiss on his lips, and she felt him shiver.

His mouth closed, the void filled. She didn’t know what with. She couldn’t remember. But it had been part of her. He would never be sated. Until the end of time he’d be ravenous.

She placed her snout into his neck, feeling the warm tingle of his fur as she suckled on it. He tasted warm, almost spicy. He seemed surprised. She liked surprising him. She liked feeding him; fueling his chaos with her memories.

Had that been their agreement? The details slipped, but they didn’t matter. So much of her… something… was his now. What was a few licks and nuzzles? A few hungry, desperate hugs here in the silent, dark void?

Had she known it would be like this? She couldn’t remember.

Had he known?

She shivered at the thought, curious if he’d taken advantage of her somehow. The physicality was nothing compared to what the deal entailed, but maybe… maybe he’d known anyways? She didn’t think she had. This was definitely surprising for her, even if she couldn’t remember why or how she’d gotten here. Now that she was here, though…

Not that she would have complained. She would have tried anything to alleviate the pressure. And maybe she did? She couldn’t remember. So why bother worrying.

It was all gone anyways. And someday, all the rest would be gone as well.

She smiled as she slid herself back down his body, looking for something in particular. He kept hold of her, keeping her tightly pressed against him like she was a ring on a horn, sliding down the length to the wide base.

And then she found the wide base.

Twilight stumbled into a purple room. She sucked in breath, surprised to have air at all. The light burned her eyes; a rapid shift from the dark void where she’d been…

What had she been doing there?

Her body was too warm, and her wings were spread strangely wide. Worse, she felt… wet.

Okay then. That’s a surprise.

Trying to ignore her strange state, she forced her wings back down and took a few deep, calming breathes. The air here was cool, and the light was actually quite soft once she got used to it. She regained something like composure, and looked forward.

It was a library. The shelves were mostly empty, but the first few had books in them. Her eyes wandered further down, noting that the library seemed to extend forever. Curious, she walked up to the shelf and pulled a book down to look at it.

The label was a picture of a pony, with simple text underneath. He was a blue pony that she didn’t recognize, and star cutiemark. The cover simply said “Night Light”.

Taking a look inside, she read the first few paragraphs.

Night Light—From Twilight Sparkle’s Family Collection.

Night Light was Twilight Sparkle’s father. A studious sort, he always worked hard to ensure she had the best life possible. He was married to Twilight Velvet, and was succeeded by his son, Shining Armor, and his daughter, Twilight Sparkle. As follows are the memories retained by Princess Twilight Sparkle upon the creation of this record…

She stared, tears forming in her eyes. She couldn’t remember him.

Sniffling, she closed the book and placed it back on the shelf. Next to it was a book labeled, “Twilight Velvet”.

She didn’t want to open it just now. She knew she’d have time later. This was her place. This was her sanctuary against eternity. She’d paid a price for this library, and now she intrinsically understood that it was part of her.

Instead, she looked down the empty halls. There was no end. It was… an eternity. An aimless, empty void. One she was destined to fill.

Her tears grew warmer, but she wasn’t sad.

She could keep them forever now. All of them. A sense of relief flooded her and she collapsed on the ground.

Whatever the cost, it didn’t matter. There was an answer—and it was beautiful.

The void was particularly spinny today. Twilight laughed as Discord pretended to be a duck. “You’re ridiculous.”

The duck quacked, its rubber head bulging as though someone was squeezing it. “I’m ugly now, but just you wait! I’ll grow up to be a swan!”

And just as quickly, there was a giant rubber Celestia floating in front of her. With all too large a rump and big googly eyes.

Twilight practically doubled over, her giggles uncontrollable. “Oh, that’s too much! She’d be furious with you… Do Luna next!”

The rubber Celestia turned blue as it deflated, the extra fluff moving from her rump to her chest as it looked about in a panic. “I would never mock our only equestrian cosmonaut! She’s a national treasure!”

Twilight laughed a little. “Eh, that’s a six out of ten.”

Discord popped on top of her, wearing a cowboy hat and swirling a lasso.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Seven out of ten. But you’re pushing it.”

He fed a carrot to the inflatable steed, and Twilight watched in horrified fascination as the rubber mouth gnawed at it fruitlessly. “Three out of ten. That’s… too weird.”

“Please. I’d like to see you do better.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “The swan joke was funny, but the cosmonaut joke was… tasteless. And the carrot thing? Don’t do that.” She shivered as the inflatable pony’s mouth helplessly gummed at the carrot. “Yeah… really don’t.”

He rolled his eyes. “Everyone is a critic.”

She tapped her hooves, noticing that she was moving slightly forward. It had taken months of practice, and she wasn’t any good at it, but she’d started being able to maneuver in the void. Skating, as he said, was mostly just carefully using her hooves to sort of slip between the chaos. Truth be told, it was easier the less she thought about it, but that just wasn’t who she was. She always thought about things.

She worked herself to the inflatable pony and took the carrot away from Discord as he watched. He seemed curious, but was pretending not to look with an over exaggerated head tilt. She used her levitation to spread inflatable Luna’s wings, used magic to color her white, and put the carrot in her hooves. She couldn’t shape change things like Discord could, but the inflatable was easy enough to manipulate with her magic; making it look vaguely like a rabbit.

Twilight smiled. “Now she’s a proper nightmare.”

Discord stared at the messy art she’d created, then looked back at Twilight. “You… remember Angel?”

Twilight winked, then pointed her hoof at the messy sculpture. “I read up before I came today. I thought you’d appreciate it. And this, right here, is a three layer pun! Almost as good as bean dip, right?”

Discord looked like he was going to cry, then he raised a score board that said “6.9 / 10”.

Twilight stared blankly. “Six point nine? Really?”

He sounded like he was holding back a sob. “I’m still the master of chaos. But I’m just so… proud of you!”

She growled, using her magic to rip the carrot out of the front of the inflatable, and immediately shoving it as hard as she could up the back end. The balloon like object popped with a wet “Pheeeeeee” while she glared at Discord as she slowly drug the carrot across her neck.

The score on the board magically changed to “8.2”.

He nervously threw the score card away. “Look at that, you win! On to tea! Race you there!”

She threw the carrot behind her as she desperately tried to keep up. There wasn’t a chance, and she knew it, but it was good practice. She’d never be as fast as him, but maybe someday she’d be comfortable here.

In a way, she already was. She felt safe here. This was almost as comforting as her hide-away from reality library sanctuary. It was his home, and he was…

Something to her.

Something more than a friend?

The thought gave her pause. She’d been wondering for a while now if he felt anything like she did. The strange flashes of sensation she sometimes got when he… grabbed her… were decidedly unique. And they weren’t necessarily bad sensations, either. Not at all. Just incredibly distracting.

Even more-so, Discord had never been afraid to get in her personal space and do things like throw her around, but lately he’d seemed even more familiar with her. His paw didn’t seem to hesitate when it reached under her wings, and he was comfortable laying his head right next to hers to whisper something quiet. Usually it was part of a gag, but sometimes he did it and it made her heart skip a beat.

She hadn’t complained. If anything, she’d been silently encouraging him by putting herself in easy to access positions.

She wondered if he’d hesitate to take things further if she really pushed it. She didn’t feel lonely, but lately it was because it almost felt like they already were… intimate in some way. He wasn’t interested in actually dating her; she was sure of it. At least, not like a normal pony. And she wasn’t sure if she was either. He was still Discord—a traditional relationship would be a nightmare far worse than her bunny balloon Luna. But he was…

He’d done something monumental for her. Something grandiose in an impossible way. She didn’t know the details, in fact she couldn’t know the details, but he’d literally figured out a way to give her a slice of infinity. It was truly hers now. That was more than a gift for a friend, right?

That was… certainly at least worth a little flirting. She hardly remembered these tea parties once they sat down and actually began to have tea. Maybe tonight…

Maybe she’d just push him and see how far he’d go.

Remember You

Twilight looked at her assistant with a smile. “Candy Cup, is it almost time for tea? I’m a bit anxious. Do you think he’ll like my new mane style?”

Candy Cup stared at her flatly, “Princess… no. He won’t even notice. He never does. He’s a self absorbed narcissist who doesn’t give others the time of day. I have no idea how you’ve been seeing him for three hundred years and he still doesn’t seem to get the memo. Have you two even ever… you know… done more than tease each other?”

Twilight stuck her tongue out at the silly filly. “That’s none of your business and you know it. But, no, I don’t think we have. Well… we’ve been friends a long time and I may have simply forgotten. Although, I bet he’s quite the adventurous partner. It’s unlikely I simply forgot.”

Candy scrunched up her nose. “Well, it is almost time. I’m sure the garden is set. Why do you always meet there?”

Twilight smiled. She didn’t remember, exactly, but the books had told her. “We both had an old friend that loved them. She was important to both of us. One of my original friends, actually. Fluttershy, a Guardian of Harmony.”

Candy sighed, seemingly dreamily. “I wonder what it’s like to be so important to a princess that she never forgets you… I’m sure one day I’ll slip from your mind.”

Twilight smiled comfortingly, pulling Candy into a hug. “Hush… I’ll remember you forever in my own way. I promise. But first you need to live your life! Go have fun. Take the afternoon and the evening off. I’ll meet him in the garden myself and you can have your own romantic adventure.”

She paused, then waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Do let me know if it’s something spicy.”

Candy laughed, amused at Twilight’s antics. “Phha… Have you always been an old perv?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I honestly don’t remember. Now get out of here. Maybe tonight I’ll finally convince him to swap more than stories over tea with me.”

Candy bowed, and left with a laugh while Twilight hopped off her throne. The truth was… perhaps more sad than she could let Candy know. Twilight simply didn’t know. Every time she met Discord for tea, the evening seemed to disappear.

She’d tell a few jokes, she’d have a few sips and then… it was morning and her head hurt. And then she felt good like the weight of the world was gone, and she’d check her library and there’d be new books.

The halls were getting quite filled now. It took her some time to find anything by hoof, but she’d found that if she willed it, she could conjure up whatever books she needed. Family, friends, acquaintances, enemies, they were all there. Even some details on living friends. Spike had a whole shelf to himself, and he still regularly surprised her with new adventures.

She even had books on herself. That had been alarming when she’d found those for the first time. Apparently she’d hated quesadilla’s for a very specific reason that she was glad to forget.

She couldn’t complain. The system was marvelously suited for her. Apparently hoof crafted by someone that knew her intimately well. The only mystery left was that one particular subject never seemed to have any books. At least not directly. Was it a consequence of the magic? Or was it intended by her… benefactor?

Discord.

He was referenced in other books, but had no books for himself. And she was sure she’d forgotten so many things about him. Perhaps she should ask? Had she asked before? She couldn’t remember…

The garden was calming even though the birds were loud. She actually quite liked them—they always had a musical lilt that just seemed more practiced than other birds. Discord seemed frustrated about something, but he just kept rambling on like he usually did. She always liked watching him ramble when he had a good story going.

“So I made him play the violin this time! Him! Can you believe it? That’s hardly a novel gag, and somehow he was the one that…”

She held up a hoof. As much as she wanted to keep listening, she was afraid she was entering “soon to be forgotten” time, and wanted a few memories of her own. “Discord, wait. Do you notice anything different about me?”

He drank his tea all at once, then spat it back out and drank it again. She wasn’t sure what he meant by it, but the his antics were as amusing as ever. He had always been dramatic.

“You’d interrupt my story just because you’re fishing for compliments on your hair?”

Twilight smiled. “So you did notice?”

His eyes looked downward and he grumbled into his cup, fidgeting strangely with it. “Of course I noticed… You made it look like hers.”

Twilight frowned. She hadn’t intended to copy… the mare. “Oh. I’m sorry. I… haven’t looked at her book lately and I forgot what she looked like. I didn’t mean to make you remember…”

He sighed. “Well, now you have. So thank you. I like remembering.”

She stared at him, her mind trying to ask the question she wanted, and then it just came out—surprisingly more harsh than she’d imagined. “Will you never let her go? I’ve been waiting.”

Discord looked back at her, seemingly confused. “Waiting? What for?”

Twilight looked at her own cup, the simple black tea feeling too warm to hold in the summer sun. She hadn’t intended to sound so angry. She wasn’t really angry. She was just feeling anxious. “I… never mind. Please, tell me about your friend with the violin.”

He slid across the table like a snake, knocking the cup out of her hand; unlike her he didn’t hide his emotions. The anger was crystal clear in his voice and his face. “What are you waiting for?”

She looked back up, surprised at his sudden anger and feeling ashamed. She’d lost control. She was better than that. “You?”

He stared at her, and she stared at him. His eyes glanced down her neck, then strangely down her chest. They sparked with an alien emotion, something she couldn’t place on his face. Then he blinked, and seemed to sink into the table as he quite literally grew smaller.

His voice was grating as he seemed to shrivel up. “I can’t… do this tonight.” There were tears in his eyes. “I can’t… do this. Not with you… like that.”

Twilight frowned. He wouldn’t do the ritual? Something about that scared her far more than it should. Her answer was purely out of fear, but it sounded cold. Almost cruel. “We have a deal.”

He glared up at her, frustration and sadness warring on his face. He pulled his heart out of his chest in a cartoonish gesture that rapidly turned gory as held it up to her as a mock offering. The beating red thing was squirting small amounts of blood as he held it.

“We have a deal… Yes, we do. A binding deal that we didn’t understand when we made it. Is it wrong that even if I had known, I’d have accepted it in a heart beat? You would, too. You’d trade your body, mind, soul, and more for what I gave you. I could have gotten far more from you. Or just… anything else. Are we… wrong?” His heart began to wither, the blood drying and evaporating into a red mist.

She looked at her friend. He was being dramatic, he was always dramatic. Yet, maybe there was something here. “Discord, please. I care for you. If the deal is a problem… we can renegotiate. I don’t want to hurt you. Even if things get hard for me. We can call it off and figure out something else. Whatever is happening, it’s not worth your suffering.”

His heart began to beat again, this time out of blood, and he looked at her with an amused smirk. “You? Hurt me? Oh, my dear, lovely, darling, sweet, foolish, delicious Twilight… You don’t hurt me. You’re far too loving and gentle a creature for that. Ponies just don’t have the teeth to hurt me. No, you just get the pleasure of not remembering. While I get…”

Twilight felt a fear she hadn’t in a very long time as she realized how sharp his teeth were, how close he was to her face, and how hot his breath was. He opened his mouth and

The dark was overwhelming. Her blood was pumping furiously as her heart fought just as furiously to keep up with her straining limbs. Her wings hurt, aching and shivering as she failed to flap them. Her hooves shook, exhausted. Her body was soaked in sweat and sharp teeth were sunk deep in her neck.

He was being rough.

She had discovered that she liked rough.

Piercing, burning holes peppered her body. Little stinging points where his claws and his mouth had gotten too sharp for her soft coat. She’d been helpless to stop him. He’d shown her how dangerous he really was.

She had discovered that she loved dangerous.

Now he was devouring her. His tongue wrapped around her neck from behind as his teeth clamped down sharply at the base of her neck. It was an obscenely fleshy collar, wrapped tightly and squeezing the breath out of her as he claimed her, consumed her, and held her exactly where he wanted. The grotesquely long tongue wiggled and waggled down her chest like groping tentacle even as it choked her, smearing far too sticky saliva like grease into her already slick coat as he lapped at her wounds and tasted every bit of her he wanted.

Her tail was as far to the side as it could feasibly go, and she could feel heat from the meat of him behind her. He’d tasted her fully and completely; her exposed flesh was still wet and sticky from his debauched and alien tongue. It wasn’t just her outsides, either. She still felt the tingle of pepper inside her… everywhere.

He’d been utterly merciless, and even more thorough.

She begged. He’d been teasing… or torturing… her for hours now, but she couldn’t wait anymore. She needed it now. She’d never felt like this… that she could remember. He was familiar with her in a way that couldn’t be… they couldn’t have…

“Please…” She gurgled the word out, desperate and eager as he choked even her tighter with his tongue; strangling the word out of her mouth.

He was a monster—his chimeric body was built nothing like a pony’s. His coiled torso wrapped around her possessively and she felt him squeeze her like a snake in the most corrupt and intimate embrace she could imagine. He was squeezing her everywhere, all at once.

The monster growled into her neck as his chest was in her face, his arms wrapped around her hooves, and his back pressed tightly against her belly as he tightened the impossible knot of his body around her. It still wasn’t enough. She needed to be closer to him; to be tighter and filled. She needed more. He wasn’t done with her, and she was she wasn’t done with him.

His voice was low and angry. “You will wait until I’m ready.”

Twilight gagged, unable to force out any more begging as he choked her. She couldn’t speak, but she felt what she needed just under her tail. He was close. She just needed one little push from herself or from him. Just the smallest movement. They’d both already greased the path; it was wet and slick. She just needed a moment to slide back and…

Once he was inside, he wouldn’t stop.

She knew this. She didn’t know how she knew this, but she knew this. She knew he hated to stop once he was going. All she had to do was to get him to start. And then she’ll have won.

She pushed backwards, using her alicorn strength and dragging herself hungrily towards his flesh while he growled deeper and began to squeeze. Was he fighting her? She felt like she was being smashed. Like he was crushing her.

It didn’t hurt. Not like it should. She pushed further, forcing herself back. He quivered. She grunted, putting her strength into it. Everything collapsed. He was in her, and she was…

The darkness grew still, and then…

Twilight blinked, confused at how she got into her library. Her body was shaking, and she was covered in… something wet and sticky? Was it spit? There was a bunch in her mouth, and it tasted like pepper and lemon. It wasn’t just in her mouth, either. All of her tingled and felt… squishy. She wasn’t nearly as disturbed by this as she should be. It was actually comfortingly relieving, like finding a familiar dog-ear on a well worn page in her favorite book.

She was utterly exhausted, though, and she collapsed against a bookshelf. Her limbs were shaking almost helplessly. She’d never been this tired when entering her library before.

Her body was also flush, but that much, at least, usually happened when she went to her library. There was always just a moment after she showed up and felt oddly warm and loved. She’d be lying if she said she’d never taken care of herself once or twice immediately after. Maybe more. It was hard to remember.

This time, though, she was covered in little red pinpricks and could barely move. She still felt loved, but somehow… different. Something was angry, but it wasn’t her. It felt almost wrong this time. This wasn’t, or maybe was, the deal. The peppery goo around her felt cool and tingly in the air, making the tiny wounds tingle electrically. As she gasped for air, she wondered if she’d done something wrong.

He’d warned her. She remembered that much. Chaos magic wasn’t meant to do be used like this. They’d both bent the rules tremendously and somehow it had mostly worked out. Until now, at least. She looked at her shaking hoof, wondering what the goo around her was. Some sort of ectoplasmic backlash? If that was all, she could find a way to mitigate it.

The library was worth any cost. She owed Discord everything. She got her sanctuary, and he got… a friend? What did he get?

Twilight suddenly felt particularly cold. The wetness finally felt gross. She’d given him… something. Long ago, she’d made a promise. They’d made a deal.

The cold sensation made her shiver, and then she relaxed. She couldn’t remember, but she’d given it willingly. Whatever she’d agreed to was something she was okay with. She still was; even if she couldn’t remember it.

Anything was worth this. Anything was worth her sanity, her sanctuary, and the love of her friend.

She looked up at a book then gently pulling off the shelf with her magic; careful not to get any of the strange goo on it. Reading about a friend would ease her mind.

Crystal Trend: Twilight’s close friend, and her personal assistant.

Crystal Trend was a serious pony, always making sure her style was as modern as possible. In many ways, she took inspiration from Rarity (See Guardians of Harmony) and kept herself a gem of the court. One particular quirk was her complete and utter distrust of Discord. Even when he came to Twilight with the answer to her problems, Crystal always felt like something was off. She never did learn to trust the draconequus. What follows are the memories that Princess Twilight Sparkle…”

The words hadn’t soothed her at all. Her friend hadn’t trusted him… all the way from back when it started. She’d read more later, but right now she needed something to calm her down—not something to make her more unsure. Twilight went to put the book back, when she noticed a space behind it. Curiously, she pulled more books out with her magic.

The shelf was hollow. Or rather, there was a dark cavity hidden behind it—blocked from sight by the books on the shelf. Inspecting the shelf itself, she discovered that the whole book case, from floor to ceiling, could swing towards her. Her library had a secret door.

Gently, she tugged it, and found a passage down into the dark.

Her stomach reeled nervously, but the darkness felt warm and soothing. Somehow it called to her like an old friend. She glanced back at the soft purple light that normally lit her library. It was familiar and safe but it didn’t have anything to help her right now. This dark passage was still part of her library. It was all her domain, even if it was different.

There was always risks with chaos magic. Perhaps this was something that neither her nor Discord had anticipated?

She stepped into the darkness, the urge to descend growing as she neared it. As the purple glow dimmed, she slipped down a narrow pathway, following a winding stairwell that only seemed to go deeper as the air grew warmer and more dry. The steps were dark, and steep, at first seeming to be crumbling stone but giving way to ancient and worn wood. As steep and dark as they were, she didn’t stumble. They were made for her gait.

Darkness consumed her, and for a moment she paused to simply breath in pitch black heat, just letting the dry air tingle across her body. The moment didn’t last long, the urge rose in her again and she felt as though something was calling her forward. Before she realized it, she was walking again, listening to her own wooden hoof steps like a steady beating heart. There was a red glow at the bottom. The heat seemed to dry her, the strangely comforting wetness evaporating and leaving her with a growing sense of…

Something… cozy?

As she stepped into the room, she found a warm looking couch, and a lit fireplace set into a wooden wall. The dry warmth soaked into her bones, and she relaxed. Somehow it looked like the roots of an ancient oak tree, far too large to be natural. The walls were lined with shelves and the shelves were lined with books. This was a library after all.

Her first library.

The thought settled her nerves and she breathed out, feeling safe and at home. Nothing would hurt her here. She’d found the heart of her sanctuary. There were a surprising amount of books, each uniformly black and unlabeled. They were smaller than normal, looking like little black notebooks and not like proper library books. No other wing in her library had such odd books.

She sat on the couch, setting comfortably in and found a warm cup of tea waiting for her on the coffee table. It was black tea, like she liked, but it had far too much sugar in it. It tasted oddly familiar, and she realized it wasn’t for her. It tasted like something… one of her friends would drink. An old friend. A kind one that liked sweet things. Setting it back down, she found another cup. It was larger, and the tea was properly bitter without being too sweet. This one was hers. The other was for…

Somepony who would never drink it.

Perhaps the books here were something one of her friends would have enjoyed? She levitated a book off the shelf and opened it, analyzing it like a strange artifact. The rest of her library books were hard bound and printed, as though manufactured neatly from modern technology. This book was soft, bound in the old style from long ago, when scrolls and soft plant covers were the norm. From back when she had been young.

Even the words seemed hoof written, the writing an old scrawl which she vaguely recognized as her own—just much less refined. It took her a moment to recognize the letters, her eyes unused to the shoddy hoof writing and the light from the dim fireplace. She’d always had Spike take notes for her. He’d had much sharper writing back then.

Her eyes adjusted to the flickering firelight, and she picked a place in the middle.

“ his cock slid into her, splitting her like a”

And she promptly closed the book.

Twilight blinked, putting the book back where she’d gotten it from. That had been unexpected. She wasn’t sure if she’d read that right, but she was quite sure she hadn’t read it wrong. She bit her lip curiously as she carefully grabbed another.

“as she felt his tongue swirling in her mouth, she begged for more. All she wanted was to swallow as much of him as”

And she closed that one as well.

Twilight looked at the books. They were all identical. Each one a little black notebook. She looked at her tea, then picked it up. The cup was warm. She took a big, healthy drink of it, then she set it down, next to the other cup. She looked at the couple of cups, sitting oddly next to each other. Hers was larger than the other. Both were warm. Both were in hoof’s reach. But both were just tea, nothing more. She was a pony, and ponies could be more than hot, sweet, or bitter. They could also be curious.

Maybe she needed to be more methodical about this? Since when had she been so chaotic in her methods anyways? She needed to do this her way. Looking intently, she found the top left most book. She couldn’t guarantee it was the first, there were no labels to speak of, but if there were any order at all down here it would at least be close.

Nervously she picked the book off the shelf, levitated it in front of her, and opened it to the beginning.

“The world had gone dark.

Twilight’s initial response was to panic. ‘I can’t see!’

Discord put a comforting paw on her shoulder. ‘Well… I don’t think I can fix that just yet. Is anything else wrong?’

She put her hoof over his paw, feeling the warmth in it. Blindness made sense, actually. He’d been doing… something intense to her memories, and the Occipital lobe was close enough to be affected by any disruption to her usual brain activities. Hopefully it was temporary. She might even simply regenerate over time if it was physical damage. It might take a night or two—although she’d likely have a killer headache.

‘I feel… fine, I guess? It’s just weird being blind. Can you keep holding me? I don’t like feeling… alone right now. I’m a little scared to be truthful.’

Discord slid closer, putting his claw comfortingly under her wing and picking her up like she weighed nothing. “One princess carry, coming up!”

She laughed. Somehow, she felt safe in his arms like this. It wasn’t what she expected. The magic had been… she couldn’t remember. But it was over now. Now she felt strangely free. Lighter in a way.

Snuggling into him, she pressed her face into his chest. He was surprisingly fluffy. Enticingly so. She took a big breath, just smelling him and nuzzling his chest, enjoying the sensations tingling through her hooves and her face. Even his sharp claw felt warm and secure, the way he was cradling her like he cared. And he did care. She had proof now.

As she breathed in the odd but comforting scent of buttered noodles, barn animals and flowers… she began to giggle.

Discord sounded unsure. ‘Oh… You’re… quite friendly. Even for the Princess of Friendship. Are you sure you’re feeling okay? There might be other side effects.’

Twilight wrapped her hooves around him, squeezing her face into his fluffy chest and relishing how firm he was. ‘I’m feeling fine. Wonderful. Amazing, even. I don’t know what you did, but it’s… nice.’

He hummed. ‘I’m glad it’s nice, I was worried it would be…’ There was a pause. ‘You didn’t see my ice gag, did you? I don’t think I like you being blind…’

She laughed. He was always a joker, but deep down he cared about her. He’d jut done something far more loving than anypony ever had for her, and he’d done it at an unprecedented risk to himself.

The thought rung a cord, and she had a strange sensation. He felt warm and safe. Sure, he was dangerous, but he was gently holding her right now. He could be doing anything else to her and she’d be helpless. She’d just let him play with her mind. She’d been utterly and completely at his mercy as he dug through everything that she was. He’d had unfettered, unsupervised access to everything that made Twilight Sparkle, and he’d been…

Oh.

That thought was strangely alluring. He had just done something far more intimate than anypony else could ever do to her. And he’d done it gently, carefully, and lovingly.

She shivered as the warmth grew and her nuzzling paused. What was more intimate than what they’d just done?

Nothing. No physical act could compare.

She didn’t want this feeling of intimacy to end. The sense of closeness and connection. The novel trust of safety and warmth. Nothing was like this. Nothing else would ever would be like this.

She opened her mouth, and suckled on his fur. He was spicy. It made her face flush. Her tail swished.

Discord shivered, then gently tried to pull her away. ‘Too friendly. Too friendly!’

She laughed as she held onto him. Everything felt wonderful and he was just too funny. ‘Is it, though? Can’t we be more friendly?’

He paused. ‘Twilight… I certainly care for you, but I’m not sure I…’

She pressed her lips to his chest, through his fur and into his chest. She suckled. She pressed her body closer, wrapping around him and pressing her warmth against his. She wanted more. She needed more. She needed to be closer to him.

Discord shivered. ‘Oh… Oh my.’

Twilight reached up and found his head in the dark, pulling his face down to hers. He bent easily, like he was a paper page that she’d bent in half. She felt his breath in her face and it was warm.

Her mouth pressed against his, and she whispered, letting the need in her voice be heard. He’d already seen everything and anything. He’d already been inside her far deeper than what she wanted. She wasn’t ashamed to let him know how desperate she was. ‘Please? I need this.’

He didn’t say anything, but her lips found his. She could feel him growing warmer and she wrapped her body around his fluffy chest. He let go of her, but she didn’t slide down. She was too strong.

He was quiet after her unbidden affection on his lip. His breathing was heavy. She smiled. He wasn’t arguing with her. She could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and hear his tongue run across his lips. He probably looked like a wolf sizing her up.

The thought made her shiver in delight. Even if she couldn’t see him, she could imagine.

Her voice was low and she felt him wrap his arms back around her, gently but more firmly. She smiled deviously in the darkness, her mind sparking with ideas. ‘Turn off the gravity. Lets just see where this takes us. Besides… I wont tell if you don’t.’”

Twilight closed the book. It kept going, but the words after that were just… the physicality that followed. She didn’t need to read it. She’d learned something.

It hadn’t been him at all. It had been her. Neither of them expected it, and when it happened… she was the instigator. At least the first time. Maybe more.

Her eyes danced across the shelves and shelves of books. Almost certainly a lot more.

She needed something more recent to compare. Something… well, not the most recent one. Something about that one was felt different. She’d wait on that on. But maybe the one before?

She plucked another book, selecting what she guessed was the second to last one; this time stealing herself for the inevitable shock inside as she opened it to near the end.

“’But why not?’ she said.

He was catching his breath, but he still sounded sad. ‘That’s the deal. This is… it. Nothing more.’

Twilight frowned, angry as she spat out the sticky remnants of the blowjob. ‘This is it? You love me! I know it and you know it! You can’t tell me it’s not that. Not anymore. Not after this.’ She gestured vaguely at them both.

He covered his face, a gesture almost wasted in the dark. ‘You think we haven’t had this conversation a hundred times? A thousand? This isn’t our first time doing this, Twilight. I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve done this. Every time… I have to explain. Every time you beg me after I pluck from your mind to make your books. Every time, I just can’t say no to you. I’m sick. The first time I was surprised. The second I was confused. The tenth? The hundredth? I know you’re not in your right mind, but I just can’t… say no. Not to you. Not when you’re like this. Please… please don’t make me explain it all again.’

She scowled, her heart racing and burning. ‘I can’t understand. I don’t feel sick. Just frustrated. I have no idea why you’re being obstinate! I want this! It’s not the ritual. We can do this on other days! Find me on a Tuesday or something. Skip the ritual on a Friday. I promise you I’ll…’

He squeezed her hard, almost painfully. ‘I’m sorry, okay! I’m an idiot! I didn’t want to let her go, so I made sure we’d never…’

‘Let her go? Discord, I can’t even remember her! You can’t be trapped by some promise from hundreds of years ago. You don’t need to suffer like this. We don’t need to suffer like this. We can be tog…’

He held her even tighter. ‘No. We can’t. Of course I know how you feel. You have about as much subtlety on the matter as I have common sense. It’s not just the ritual. You can’t remember this. Not like we want. We made a deal, Twilight. I wasn’t going to let you take her place. But that didn’t stop you from trying. It didn’t stop me from reciprocating. All the deal did was make you forget. I’m always going to help you… and you’re always going to want this… and I cant say, ‘No’. We’re both trapped. Not just me.’

He muttered into her her mane, leaning down as he hugged her gently, like she was a stuffed animal and not a pony. He seemed to be crying as he complained. ‘I don’t know why I’m explaining this to you again. It doesn’t matter. It never matters.’”

Twilight closed the book. She stared at the fire, and her eyes drifted to the cup of tea that wasn’t for her. She’d never been served tea in her library before. Somepony was trying to send her a message. Somepony that was too sweet. A pony who the last thing she’d ever want was for her friends to suffer.

Twilight picked up the too sweet cup of tea, and gave it a long slow drink. It was still hot. She couldn’t remember the face, or the voice, or even what color the pony was. She’d have to read her book later and thank her. But she remembered how Fluttershy felt. Her warmth. Her kindness. Her love.

Discord had been right. The last thing she could remember was him telling her that she got the pleasure of not remembering. Now she knew it was, at least partly, the deal.

She looked at Fluttershy’s cup and felt her heart beating strangely from the warm, sugary brew. Hers and Discord’s agreement had gone on long enough. It was time for her to renegotiate the deal—and this time she’d be crystal clear.

She couldn’t let her perfect library have unlisted books. These little black books were getting properly indexed; titles and all.

Discord was going to assist her with that. This was her domain; but they’d made it together. They owed each other, and Fluttershy, that much at least. This mess needed to be put in order.

And after the library was sorted…

She took another drink of the sweet tea.

Well. They’d see where the night took them. But if she had a hunch… her eyes drifted to a shelf of little black books.

Her library had room for infinitely more books.