No Equality in Desire

Five new residents joined Our Town. Among them were three mares and two stallions. In under two months, the village doubled.

One of the mares arrived with her husband, looking to start anew. The other was freshly eighteen, a rangy runaway. And the third was a unicorn with a golden coat and gamboge mane whose coloring made Starlight’s chest pang with a dull ache. She smiled, tight-lipped, when that sunny mare's brightness bled out.

However, it was not her who brought Starlight new vexation.

“May we keep living together?” the wife asked as she and her husband walked the grit-laden path, returning from their cutie unmarking. She had at least a decade on Starlight, a tidy maturity in her austere face and silvery coat.

Starlight was faintly baffled. “I don't see why not.”

“Well, from what we understand, all the other residents are single. Would it be inequitable for us to remain partnered?”

She was right. Their union was a leftover from the old world. If she wanted, Starlight could tear them asunder. They would do it, too. She could mandate partnerships. Nopony would ever choose another—or be chosen.

Instead, she said, “It's fine. The equality of Our Town frees us only from the burden of our talents. After all, we’re all unequal in name! That sure would become confusing if we shared one, right?”

Neither the wife nor her husband remarked on her glib joke. They nodded, pressing to one another in a private nuzzle. Her husband’s coat was a muddy shade of brown; his stubble bristled against his wife’s throat. But a gentle smile broached her stern features, melting for him. They occupied a denser atmosphere, moving through the world with a tacit protection.

It was something Starlight’s staff could never strip.

—

“You’re in luck, girl! Famed singer Feather Bangs has chosen your town to perform at.”

The stallion at her table had a coat the color of expired mustard, yet somehow his mane was fouler, the tips of his forelock dyed with a washed-out frost of blond. He flipped it periodically, like he was trying to shake a stubborn fly.

Starlight folded her hooves, seated across from him at her table, wearing a rictus grin. “Indeed. How… lucky of me. Though, I can’t say I’ve ever heard of you.”

Again, Feather Bangs tossed his mane. “I’m on the come up. More of an ‘if you know, you know’ kinda pony. And trust me. You’ll know.”

Starlight already knew several certain things about him after the length of a single conversation. It was doubtful he would ever become a friend of hers. But he was here in Our Town. All that remained was to absorb him.

“You know, Feather,” Starlight approached him that afternoon as he nosed, frowning, through a display rack of cloaks, “maybe you found your way to our little village not to perform, but to belong. I’m sure a pony like you must feel like he’s performing every day of his life, even off the stage. That must be so hard.”

She had already won as he turned to her, blinking. “Oh. Nopony’s ever noticed that about me before.”

A little more time in the town, watching all the happy faces surrounding him, that was all he needed. It was a singing relief, like a scab scratched free, to see the saccharine hearts of his cutie mark stripped and entombed behind her vault. Feather Bangs twitched along the cold cave floor, sweat slicking that ugly mop of a mane she couldn’t wait to shear off. Starlight didn’t look away for a moment.

But when she did—he found his way to Sugar Belle.

“These muffins are almost as sweet as you, girl. Emphasis on almost.”

It was an obvious lie, but he made it flow from his lips like honey. Sitting at the outdoor bakery table, he juggled the remaining muffins on his plate, maybe in an effort to avoid choking them down. But Sugar Belle laughed, high and acquiescent, and sat beside him at the table.

He held her hoof, but Starlight saw him quivering.

—

“I’m disappointed in you, Feather Bangs.”

It was evening, the townsponies toiling away with drills and hammers, constructing the newest cottage. Feather Bangs had pressed between Starlight and Sugar Belle with a toss of his clipped mane, making a show of flexing his foreleg as he sawed. Jaw grinding, Starlight took him aside, a hoof around his withers.

“What for?” he asked. “Aren’t I working just as hard as everypony else?”

“On your cottage? Of course. But not at the thing that really counts.” Starlight infused her voice with dismay. “You haven’t truly been liberated from your cutie mark. I can still see its teeth in you, even now.”

She spoke indiscreetly, and several heads swiveled in the direction of Feather Bangs. Sugar Belle was one of them, a hammer in her mouth. She met Starlight’s eyes, brows furrowed, and Starlight nodded to her, knowing she would understand.

“Our new friend has lived such a shallow life thanks to the burden of his special talent.” Starlight walked a tight circle around him. “He thinks the only way ponies will value him is if he can vapidly flirt his way into their hearts. Doesn’t he know he has the devotion of all of his wonderful friends?”

“Feather Bangs! We all love you!”

A susurration of protest rose from the watching villagers, moans of assurance and worthiness. They washed over him like a tide, fumbling hooves caressing and holding him close—blunt gestures of friendship made physical. It was invigorating to see them all move in unison, united by a collective dream. Starlight’s blood rushed to electrify her.

Feather Bangs’ ears pinned, chin rising above the crowd. Meekly, he asked, “But what if I want to fall in love?”

Starlight’s lips peeled back from her gums, revealing a smile she could have sunk into his neck.

“Then you’re loving wrong.”

The villagers continued to murmur, a swelling bubble of tension that burst when Starlight said: “I think you’ll feel better after some re-education.”

—

“In sameness, there is peace…”

“Exceptionalism is a lie…”

“Free yourself from your cutie mark…”

Starlight’s canned voice droned as she opened the creaking door. The cottage nearest to her own was reserved for dissenters, a tranquil chamber of reflective isolation. She only had reason to use it on a few occasions prior. Feather Bangs had just concluded his fifth night inside.

“It looks like our friend is ready to re-join us!” Starlight announced.

Feather Bangs’ hocks buckled as he exited, hungry gray crescents hanging below his eyes. He went to the collective embrace of the town like a maggot to flesh, thoughtless in his starvation.

“I’m sorry. I was a bad friend.” Sugar Belle was gasping as she came up behind Starlight. Her wet eyes shone in the dim cast of evening. “If I knew he was struggling this badly, I wouldn’t have led him on…”

“Don’t say that. It’s not your fault,” Starlight shushed. She crossed the thoroughfare as their evening walk began, Sugar Belle leaning on her shoulder. They passed the half-finished skeleton of Feather Bangs’ cottage.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Starlight kept murmuring. “You’ve been a good friend.”

There were a thousand other words she wanted to let pour from her mouth. None were in the language spoken by her village.

There was a darkness on the edge of Our Town. It told her she was running out of time.