I Wasn't Supposed To Hurt You
Her Perfect Imperfection (R)
Hi there, I'm James. You are most likely interested in hearing my tale if you are here. Well, it's our tale, not just mine. Mine and rainbows. It tells the tale of our shared love struggles.
I grew up in the same neighborhood as Rainbow. We were inseparable as soon as we could walk. Even though she consistently won, I didn't mind when she would bring me to the park for a race. Her humor, self-assurance, and unwavering resolve were all captivating. She was my hero as well as my best friend.
Then we both went to Canterlot High School, things changed… and didn’t. Rainbow gained popularity right away and made friends everywhere she went. Not surprisingly, she was the boldest person in every room, the loudest person in the spectators, and the quickest person on the track. Conversely, I was more restrained and silent. Rainbow always found time for me. She kept focusing on me even after she joined new buddy circles. She would ask me to play soccer with her, sit with me at lunch, and share her aspirations to be a professional athlete.
You've undoubtedly heard about the drama, the magic, and Sunset Shimmer's downfall when the fall formal arrived. Everything changed that night. I knew I had to say something once the magic subsided and the dust settled. I couldn't continue to act as though my feelings for Rainbow were merely platonic. I asked her to be my girlfriend.
Her answer? She laughed, punched me lightly on the arm, and said, “Took you long enough.”
We were happy. Very, very happy. I joined the same soccer squad, and we practiced together for several afternoons. She said she always let me win, but we would battle to see who could score the most goals. Pinkie Pie would often sneak us extra cupcakes when we were on dates to Sugarcube Corner. And Rainbow let down her boundaries when we were alone at night. She revealed to me the weak side of herself that she kept hidden from the outside world—the girl who, despite her tough front, feared failure and wondered if she was good enough. I loved her even more since she confided in me about those anxieties.
But it wasn’t always perfect. Relationships never are. Sometimes, I felt like I was competing with her friends for her attention. Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie, they were all so important to her. I’d catch myself wondering if I mattered as much. I’d get jealous, and we’d argue. But every time, Rainbow would remind me that I was her priority. She’d cancel plans with them to spend time with me, show up at my door with my favorite snacks, or just hold my hand and tell me how much I meant to her.
Next came Sunset Shimmer. She joined us following the Fall Formal. She was silent at first, nearly imperceptible, like a shadow following. She appeared to be aware that it was no longer her story. However, Rainbow made sure Sunset felt included with her unending enthusiasm and passionate loyalty. It didn't bother me. Actually, Rainbow's generosity made me respect her even more. It served as just another reminder of the reasons I cherished her.
Some moments will always be in my memory. Like the night we spent discussing our concerns and dreams while stargazing. Or when Mom gave me a scrapbook of our early years as a surprise, complete with pictures of us playing soccer, racing in the park, and generally being kids. Next to every photo, she had written brief remarks about memories that only the two of us had. She used it to remind me that I was her top priority at all times.
But life isn’t a fairy tale. We had our struggles, our doubts. There were days when I questioned if I was enough for someone as incredible as Rainbow Dash. And there were days when she felt the same about me. But through it all, we chose each other. Every single day, we chose to stay, to fight for what we had. Every story has its tragic moments, right? Yeah. The Battle of the Bands was coming, and the girls were training harder than ever. They poured their hearts into it, determined to win. I tried to be supportive, but it hurt. It hurt because Rainbow didn’t have as much time for me as I wanted. The long practices, the late-night brainstorming sessions—they left me on the sidelines. It wasn’t intentional, but it still left me feeling... alone.
Sunset and I were together most of that time. I used to sit off to the side when they were practicing. At times, I would converse with Sunset, while at other times, I would only observe Rainbow. I would think, "This is my girlfriend," as my gaze would linger on her. She was incredible, exuding vitality and resolve. Even though I was proud, I still felt lonely.
The terrible moment I was referring to then happened. Nobody can quite recall how it began. Or perhaps they do, but they would prefer not to disclose it. The Sirens are simpler to blame. They had the ability to awaken your worst thoughts and bring out the worst in you. They simply allowed you to destroy yourself they didn't have to attack you. That's what I experienced.
Rainbow and her friends, the girls, were unaffected. People don't recognize how special they are. Their link of friendship and magic provide them with protection. But me? I wasn't unique. I was not magical. I lacked that connection. I was just myself. What about the Sirens? They affected me. They took my vulnerabilities and darkest ideas and made them into weapons. I said the girl I love some really hurtful things. Even though I can't recall anything, I know it was awful. I will never forget the hurt, bewilderment, and rage on Rainbow's face.
I've made an effort to put things right ever since. Despite my repeated apologies, she refuses to let me in. She will no longer even give me the same look. She never responds when I ask her what I said or did. Perhaps she wants me to remember. Perhaps it hurts too much for her to speak. All I know is that our relationship ended because of that. I’ve spent countless nights replaying that moment in my head, trying to piece it together. What did I say? What did I do? How could I hurt her like that? The guilt eats away at me. It’s like a weight on my chest, making it hard to breathe. She was my everything, and I ruined it.
Sometimes I catch her smiling and laughing with her friends as if nothing happened. However, there's a barrier between us that I can't get past when our eyes connect. I know I'm to blame, and it kills me. I've made every effort to correct it. Nothing works, not even lavish gestures, sincere letters, or giving her space. She has moved on, or is making an effort to do so. And me? Clinging to recollections of our history has kept me mired in the past.
People tell me to move on and let things go. However, how can I? The individual who meant the world to me is someone I can never forget. I don't even fully understand the gravity of what I done, so how can I forgive myself? The unknown and the potential that I will never put things right torment me.
But one day, Applejack appeared like a guardian angel as I was putting my heart and soul into my best friend Flash Sentry. In the past, we only spoke when absolutely required. However, she arrived as if she knew I needed her. This was the story, but all stories have a happy conclusion, don't they?
Applejack was standing there, her hat tilted forward, her expression serious. “You need to talk to Rainbow,” she said firmly.
“I’ve tried, Applejack. I’ve tried so many times.”
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Yeah, well, this time you’ve got our help.”
She caught me by the collar and began dragging me away from Flash before I could protest. I looked back at him, my eyes begging for assistance, but all he did was laugh and grip his stomach as if it were the most hilarious thing he had ever seen.
“We need the old Rainbow back,” she said as we walked. “And only you can give us her back. We’ve had enough of this sloppy, crybaby version of her. She just won’t get it through her head that you didn’t mean any of it.”
Could I really fix this? Could I really bring Rainbow back? As we got closer to the training room, my heart was racing. In the interior, I could hear chairs scuffing the floor and muffled voices. Rarity and Sunset were holding Rainbow in place when Applejack pushed the door open.
Rainbow’s eyes widened when she saw me, and for a moment, everything else disappeared. Applejack gave me a nudge, practically shoving me into the room. The other girls exchanged glances and quickly slipped out, leaving just the two of us.
The room felt too big, too quiet. Rainbow’s arms were crossed, her expression guarded. I took a deep breath, my heart racing. “Rainbow,” I started, my voice trembling. “We need to talk.”
“Talk?” Rainbow’s voice was sharp, defensive. "What’s left to say, James?”
“Everything,” I said, stepping closer. “There’s everything left to say.”
She turned her head, avoiding my gaze. Her shoulders tensed, and I could see the faint shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes. “Why now?” she asked, her voice softer, almost breaking. “Why do you suddenly care about talking now?”
“I ALLWAS CARRED RAINBOW!” I admitted, my voice rising despite the lump in my throat. “I can’t keep living every day knowing I hurt you, knowing I ruined what we had. Rainbow, you mean everything to me. I—” I paused, taking a shaky breath. “I just want to make things right.”
“Make things right?” she echoed. “James, you don’t even know what you said to me.”
“I don’t” I confessed, the words tumbling out in a rush. “I don’t know, Rainbow. But that’s what makes this so hard. I know I said something awful, something that broke us, and I hate myself for it. Every single day, I replay that moment in my head, trying to piece it together. I’ve spent nights staring at the ceiling, asking myself why I couldn’t stop it, why I let the Sirens get to me. I’ve tortured myself with the not knowing, but none of it compares to losing you.”
“You think that’s enough? You think saying you’re sorry will magically fix everything?”
“No. I know it’s not enough. I know I can’t just apologize and expect things to go back to the way they were. But Rainbow, I’m here. I’m standing in front of you because I won’t give up on us. I won’t walk away, even if you hate me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”
She stared at me, her breathing uneven. For a moment, I thought she was going to yell, to scream, to push me away again. “Do you know what you said to me that night?”
“No, I don’t. But I need you to tell me.”
“You said I was selfish. You said all I cared about was winning, about being the best. You called me shallow, said I didn’t know how to love anyone but myself. And then...” Her voice broke, and she closed her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek. "You said… you said I was just some kind of entertainment to you," Her hands trembled as she clutched her arms, holding herself like she was trying to keep from falling apart. "That you never saw a girl in me… That I’m just a man in the wrong body." Do you know how much that hurt? I told you things, things I’ve never told anyone before. I trusted you with the parts of me that no one else gets to see. I told you about what breaks me, what keeps me awake at night, what’s made me feel like I don’t belong and you turned it against me."
She wiped her face with the back of her palm and sobbed, her voice trembling, but the tears continued to stream.
With my hands shooting to my head in shock, I stepped back.
"No," I whispered, my voice shaking, my mind racing to make sense of what I was hearing. "No, no, NO. I would never… Rainbow, I would never say that. I would never"
The agony in her eyes was excruciating when she looked at me. Now, when she spoke again, her lips quivered and her tears streamed down her cheeks.
"But you did" she said, her voice breaking on the last word. "You did, and it felt like… like everything I thought we had just… shattered."
My body moved before my mind caught up, and I surged forward, pulling her into my arms.
"No" I said, my voice breaking. "No, Rainbow, I didn’t. I swear I didn’t. I would never hurt you like that."
She thrashed against me, her strength surprising, but I held on tighter.
"Let me go!" she cried, her voice muffled against my shoulder. She pushed, punched, twisted, but I couldn’t let go. I wouldn’t.
"I would never do that to you! I would never use your insecurities against you! I love you, Rainbow. I love you. You’re the most amazing, strongest, most incredible person I’ve ever met, and I would never, never make you feel like you’re less than that."
Her resistance faltered for a moment, but she hit my shoulder weakly, her sobs breaking through her words. "Then why… why the hell it did feel like you did?!"
"Because I messed up. I said something dumb, or maybe you misunderstood me, but I swear to you, Rainbow, I would never think of you like that. Never in a million years. You’re everything to me. You’re the girl I fell in love with, the girl I’ll always love."
Then she stopped fighting, burying her face in my chest and letting her body fall on mine. Before she simply let go, I felt her fists thud a couple more times into my chest as her screams tore through her body.
She was the most valuable object in the world, and I held her as though she were. I repeatedly said to her how sorry I was, how much I loved her, and how she was perfect to me while my hands ran calmingly over her back.
"You’re not just perfect," I said, my voice a broken whisper. "You’re my perfect. You’re the strongest, most incredible girl I’ve ever met. You’re the reason I keep going, the reason I smile, the reason my heart beats. Don’t you see that? You’re everything to me, Rainbow Dash."
She placed her cheek into my shoulder and sniffed, her hands now gripping my shirt. She spoke in a tiny, shaky voice that was almost audible.
"Please," she whispered. "Please… swear to me that the man at the Battle of the Bands wasn’t you."
Once again, her words wounded my heart. As I responded, my voice cracked and my throat constricted, drawing her closer.
"I swear," I said, my voice firm despite the tears in my own eyes. "I swear it wasn’t me, Rainbow. I would never hurt you like that. I love you too much. I could never do that to you."
She sobbed shudderingly and clung to me, her body shaking. Once hammering at me, her fists were now gripping me as if I were her lifeline.
"Okay," she whispered through her tears, her voice barely audible. "Okay…"
She slipped out of my hands and sat down on the floor with her knees hugged to her chest as I relaxed my arms around her to give her more room. Her face turned aside, but her tear-streaked cheeks were still visible, and her fingers twiddled with the hem of her blouse. Her chuckle was more of a breath than a sound, and it was unsteady.
“Geez, I really let myself go, huh?” she said, her voice laced with an awkward, self-deprecating humor that barely masked the vulnerability beneath.
I knelt down in front of her and stared at her, my heart hurting. She was gradually rebuilding her fortifications, yet something remained open in her eyes—a tenderness, a glimmer of trust that had not previously been. I reached out and took her hand in mine with a kind grin.
“Rainbow…” I started, but I didn’t get to finish.
She leaned forward suddenly, catching me off guard as her lips pressed against mine. The kiss wasn’t rushed or desperate—it was warm, tender, and filled with every ounce of love she had in her heart. It was like she was pouring everything she couldn’t put into words into that one moment, and for a second, the rest of the world faded away.
It felt like the pain, the doubt, the hurt—all of it—was melting into the background. Her kiss was like a lifeline, pulling me back into the light. Everything felt like it was falling into place again, like we were finding our way back to where we were supposed to be.
I was about to plant a hand on the back of her head to intensify the kiss when a loud crash broke the moment.
The door burst open with a bang, slamming against the wall. A pile of bodies tumbled into the room—Sunset, Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy all landing in a heap on the floor.
For a moment, there was stunned silence as they scrambled to untangle themselves. Then, as one, they looked up from the floor at us, their wide eyes locking on Rainbow and me.
Rainbow’s face flushed the deepest shade of red I’d ever seen, and she immediately jumped to her feet, brushing herself off furiously as if the imaginary dirt on her clothes was the most important thing in the world.
“Well,” Sunset said, smirking as she adjusted her jacket and climbed to her feet.
Rainbow quickly tried to get te situation, and gave the most dumb explaing i've ever heard, the one that screamed rainbow “He had something on his lips, and i jus- aww Oh, come on! You saw all of it anyway!” she said, her voice a mix of embarrassment and resignation.
The others burst into laughter, and Rainbow shot them a half-hearted glare, though there was a glimmer of amusement in her eyes. She glanced back at me, her lips quirking into a small, shy smile. Reaching out, she offered her hand to help me up.
As I took her hand and stood, she pulled me into a hug, her arms wrapping tightly around me as she buried her face in my chest for a brief moment. It wasn’t a long hug, but it was enough to make my heart feel full to bursting.
Pinkie, always the first to speak her mind, clapped her hands together. “Soooo, does that mean everything’s good now?”
Rainbow pulled back just enough to look at her, pointing a finger at herself and flashing a familiar, cocky grin. “What do you think, Pinkie? Of course everything’s good now. I’m awesome. As always.”
Applejack rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. “Yep, she’s back, alright,” she drawled with a fond smile.
The others laughed, but all I could think about was Rainbow. She turned to face me, her eyes meeting mine with a softening expression. The rest of the world vanished once more in that instant.
The real her was there. I had fallen in love with the girl. The girl who managed to smile despite bearing the weight of the entire world on her shoulders. Even when she questioned her role, the girl was fearless, audacious, and completely herself. I fell in love with her more deeply and intensely than ever before.
She reached up, brushing a strand of hair out of my face, her hand lingering for a moment as she looked at me with an intensity that made my breath catch.
“I’m back,” she whispered, almost as if she were saying it more to herself than to me.
I smiled, my hand finding hers as I laced our fingers together. “You’re back,” I agreed softly.
And she was. My Rainbow. My everything.
Author's Note
Heyyyy, this just came to my mind, i hope you like something diffrent!
