It was supposed to be a normal night.
Pinkie Pie would come over for dinner, something she’d do every-now-and-then.
There was… one thing.
Fluttershy didn’t expect her to bring alcoholic apple cider.
“... so all I could do was thank him and bounce!”
Pinkie Pie raised her glass of apple cider before slamming it down with an exasperated breath.
Fluttershy, sat on the other end of the table, held a hoof to her head. The Apple family’s apple cider seemed stronger than usual. She glanced around her cottage before scorning the idea of standing up for a glass of water. Instead, she opted to take another swig of her drink.
Fluttershy put down her glass and slightly-louder-than-usual, replied, “He could have at least talked to you outside.”
Pinkie pointed a hoof at her. “Exactly!” She nodded in agreement.
Then, she proceeded to ramble on about stallions and the ethics of asking mares out. Fluttershy could only stare at her and nod every now and again. Her wings fluttered restlessly as Pinkie kept talking about the stallions who’ve approached her with the intentions of dating. The pegasus shook her head before taking a swig of her drink.
Then, she asked a question. “How many stallions have asked you to… you know… date?”
Pinkie Pie tapped a hoof on her chin. “Dunno… I don’t keep count, all they’ve been is a bother…”
Fluttershy’s lips formed an ‘o’. She looked down at her drink as she held a hoof to her chest, pressing against it firmly, a small frown forming on her face.
“Well, it doesn’t matter!!” Pinkie cheered, raising her glass. “Who needs stallions when we have mares?”
“Mares?” Fluttershy looked up in surprise.
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Uh, yeah, duh. Mares are like suuuuper pretty, and I never really liked stallions anyways~!” She excitedly came out of the closet. “What do you think, ‘Shy?”
“I-I… uh…” Fluttershy’s wings fluttered as a light pink hue graced her cheeks. She looked down to the floor and mumbled a reply.
“I like mares too…”
Pinkie essentially stretched her entire body across the table and put her face extremely close to Fluttershy’s.
“Reeeeeally?”
Fluttershy squeaked as a blush crept up to her face. She took another gulp of her drink before replying, “Y-Yes…”
Pinkie stared at her for a few moments, unblinking, and expression unchanging. Then, she sat back down on her seat and almost shrunk into it. Her cheeks were lit up a bright red. “Well… I don’t really know a lot about this stuff, but…”
She tapped her hooves together, and asked one of her best friends a question.
“D-Do you wanna try going out?”
A week had passed since the two started dating.
Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy sat under a tree. In front of them was a field of blossoming flowers. Pinkie looked to her right, and Fluttershy was distracted talking to a butterfly. Pinkie’s eyes were glued to Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus dolled herself up a bit for their date. Most notably, there was a series of flower hairpins adorned along her wavy mane.
Pinkie blushed slightly before reaching for her basket. Pinkie brought some sweets from Sugarcube Corner for them to eat. She laid out the treats in front of them on top of their picnic blanket.
As she was setting up the treats, Pinkie thought of how nice it would be to finally spend some time with somepony. She finally had what she had always thought about. Holding hooves with somepony, comforting each other, enjoying each other’s company, and exchanging sweet words to one another.
Pinkie muffled her excited squeal with her hooves. She finally had somepony to share those moments with. There was finally somepony who she could look forward to doing those things with.
She recalled the massive blush on Fluttershy’s face when she suggested dating each other. After all, they were both gay. Pinkie didn’t see any problem with that. A shared interest in dating, and the both of them came out of the closet in one, shared, intimate moment of vulnerability.
They both admitted that they had never been in a proper relationship before, so they didn’t really know how to go about these things.
Fluttershy nuzzled Pinkie’s cheek before pulling black and flashing her a gentle smile. “Something on your mind?”
Pinkie blinked. She waved a hoof in the air, pushing away imaginary clouds. “Nah, not really…” She giggled. “Just how lucky I am to have a marefriend now~”
“O-Oh…” Fluttershy blush. “Well… I’m lucky to have you too…”
Pinkie scooted to sit closer to Fluttershy. She leaned against her side while nibbling on a cookie. Fluttershy smiled and wrapped a wing around the pink pony’s body. Pinkie melted in her embrace, laying her head on Fluttershy shoulder.
The only thing Pinkie could think about was the warmth that enveloped her in that moment. She felt at ease. The two of them remained quiet for a moment, enjoying each other’s presence. Fluttershy tentatively moved her hoof closer to Pinkie’s. The earth pony noticed and smiled. Pinkie gingerly took Fluttershy’s hoof on her own, before wrapping her foreleg around hers. Fluttershy blushed and her wing wrapped tighter around Pinkie Pie.
“Uhm, Pinkie…” Fluttershy glanced between Pinkie and the spread of snacks in front of her.
“Yeah?” Pinkie pulled slightly away from Fluttershy’s embrace to look at her properly.
Fluttershy rubbed her foreleg anxiously. “W-Well… I just wanted to ask…”
Pinkie tilted her head. “Ask me what?”
“W-Why you decided to… go out with me?”
Pinkie blinked. Once. Twice. Why did she ask Fluttershy to date her? Well, for one, Pinkie Pie learned that they both had a shared interest in dating the same sex. She thought about all the great qualities about Fluttershy. She was beautiful, gentle, sweet, and an amazing listener. Most importantly, to Pinkie, she felt like she could count on Fluttershy if something bad ever happened to her.
She came to a conclusion.
“Well… ‘cuz I like you?” Pinkie answered as if she were stating a matter-of-fact.
Fluttershy’s face erupted in a fierce blush. “P-Pinkie… uh, well… I like you too.”
“So what’s wrong?”
“It’s just…” Fluttershy sighed, her wings fluttering close to her sides. “I like you… and I—I’ve liked you for a while now…”
Pinkie paused again.
So, she had unknowingly asked somepony who had feelings for her to date her.
Pinkie thought that they were both just starting out—sorting out their feelings, and dating each other. She admitted that Fluttershy was more than an ideal partner. A sharp pain struck her heart.
On one hoof, she was overjoyed to hear that a mare actually liked her romantically.
On the other…
“Do I actually like Fluttershy, or am I just interested in her?”
She asked herself that question.
All Pinkie could think about was the relationship the two were in. Fluttershy was her marefriend, and she was the one who asked her out. She told herself that she would take responsibility for this relationship. While Fluttershy had feelings for her even before this relationship, Pinkie knew that she also felt something for Fluttershy.
She wasn’t sure what it was.
But, they were feelings of affection.
After a few moments of silence, Pinkie sighed. Fluttershy flinched. The pegasus hesitantly met Pinkie Pie’s gaze.
Pinkie gave her a small smile before slowly wrapping her forelegs around Fluttershy.
Fluttershy received a wordless answer. Affirmation that Pinkie wanted to be with her. Fluttershy’s wings fell to the ground, and tears ran down her cheek. She returned the embrace Pinkie gave her, twice as tight, pulling the pink mare closer to her.
The pink pony didn’t utter a single word.
She showed her affection through action.
“I-I really like you, Pinkie…” Fluttershy stuttered, burying her face on Pinkie’s shoulder.
“Mhm…” Pinkie gingerly brushed Fluttershy’s mane.
“I like you too.”
About a month had passed since Pinkie Pie started dating Fluttershy.
One day, while working at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie couldn’t help but look back on the many beautiful moments they shared with each other. As Pinkie decorated some cupcakes, she recalled the quiet moments she spent with her marefriend. The dates they’d been on, and the fun she had.
Then, she remembered those three words.
“I love you.”
Fluttershy said it first. One evening, as the two were about to part ways. Beneath the starry sky, just outside of Fluttershy’s cottage. Animals of all sorts had gathered around them, curious about what was going on. Fluttershy had a massive blush on her face as she said those words.
Despite Pinkie’s previous doubts about how she felt for Fluttershy, hearing her say those words made her heart skip a beat. Everything that the two of them had done reaffirmed that Fluttershy really did love Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie, at a loss for words, found the only response that she felt should’ve been given. She stammered for a moment, before smiling and hugging the pegasus in front of her.
“I love you, too.”
Pinkie muffled a squeal with a hoof, and her face felt flush. She didn’t want Mr. and Mrs. Cake to hear. She rapidly shook her head and continued with her work, feeling like nothing could throw her off today.
The doors opened, and her morning went as usual. Serve some ponies, make more pastries, and give everypony a big smile to make their day a little brighter.
Then, somepony walked in.
Fluttershy gingerly walked in and looked around. The moment she saw Pinkie Pie, she smiled. Pinkie met her gaze and instinctively smiled as well. Fluttershy went to the counter.
“Hi, Pinkie.” She giggled.
Pinkie leaned onto the counter, resting her chin on her hooves. “Hiya, beautiful~” she teased.
Fluttershy blushed, hiding her embarrassment behind her hoof.
“So, are you getting anything, or are you just here to see me?” Pinkie chuckled.
“Both.” Fluttershy pointed to a cake inside the display. “One slice of that cake, and some tea, please.”
“What kind of tea?” Pinkie had already moved to slice the cake.
“Green tea.”
In a few seconds, Pinkie had a tray ready with Fluttershy’s cake, a small pot of tea, and a teacup. “Here you go~!”
Fluttershy placed the exact amount of bits on the counter, before picking up the tray and finding a table. Pinkie watched her as she took a seat. Pinkie waved at her, and continued with her work.
After half an hour, Fluttershy was still seated.. During that time, the two shared some glances between each other, and even mouthed some words to try and carry a silent conversation. As the flow of customers died down, Mrs. Cake approached Pinkie.
“Pinkie, dear, why not have some tea with Fluttershy?” Mrs. Cake placed down a tray on the counter, in front of Pinkie Pie. On it was a tea set and cookies. “The poor mare’s been waiting for you.”
Pinkie pushed the tray slightly away from her. “M-Mrs. Cake, I’m still on-shift—”
“Apapap!” Mrs. Cake raised a hoof to silence her. “Don’t make me repeat myself, young lady. Have some tea with your marefriend, Mr. Cake and I can cover for you before the afternoon rush.”
Pinkie glanced between Mrs. Cake and the tray. She sighed and slowly balanced the tray on one hoof, giving the older mare a smile. “Thank you, Mrs. Cake.”
Mrs. Cake winked. “Dear, I myself know a thing or two about being in love.” She then waved her away mouthing ‘shoo’. Pinkie giggled at her antics, thinking nothing of her teasing.
Fluttershy smiled as she saw Pinkie approach. Pinkie laid the tray on the table, and immediately started pouring the two of them tea. “Mrs. Cake said I could take a break.”
“That’s very nice of her.” Fluttershy acknowledged. “I hope they don’t think I’m intruding…”
“Please, they love you.” Pinkie raised her teacup to her lips before saying, “Not as much as I do, though~”
Fluttershy, who was calmly taking a sip of her tea, choked on her drink. She coughed repeatedly with a blush on her face. “Pinkie!”
Pinkie Pie laughed.
The two spent time talking to each other, while Mr. and Mrs. Cake handled the store. In the back of Pinkie’s mind, she couldn’t help but worry. She was supposed to be working, helping run Sugarcube Corner as an employee. Now, she was leisurely sipping tea like she was just a customer.
Not too long after, the afternoon rush came. The foals were out of school, and plenty of them were stopping by for a treat.
Pinkie stood up. “S-Sorry, I should get back to work now.”
Fluttershy’s ears drooped, but she smiled warmly nonetheless. “O-Oh, okay. Good luck.”
As Pinkie began clearing their table, she heard Fluttershy mumble.
“Is your work more important than me…?”
Fluttershy swiftly covered her mouth with a hoof, realizing she had said that out loud. She looked at Pinkie with wide eyes.
Pinkie flashed her smile. Pinke kissed her on the cheek and swiftly went back to the counter, after keeping away the dirty dishes of course. As she served the foals with a bright smile, her mind lingered on Fluttershy, who was still inside. Her head ached as she worried that Fluttershy felt she wasn’t giving her enough attention.
The yellow pegasus stared at Pinkie often, making it feel like she was watching her every move.
Sweat dripped from Pinkie’s brow.
She didn’t know what to do.
Should she just tell Fluttershy to wait for her somewhere else?
Would that have been rude?
She had to focus on work.
Was this what being in a relationship was like?
“I-I can’t breathe…”
Anxiety flooded her mind. Thoughts that she couldn’t meet Fluttershy’s needs, and that her marefriend scorned her for it. She drowned herself in work to try and get rid of those thoughts, and to try and forget that Fluttershy hadn’t left yet.
Fluttershy didn’t leave the Sugarcube Corner until Pinkie’s shift ended.
Pinkie lost count of how long she’d been marefriends with Fluttershy.
All she’d been focused on was keeping her happy.
“... I just feel like you’ve been too busy, recently.”
Apparently, she hadn’t done enough.
Pinkie Pie sat on the floor inside her room in Sugarcube Corner. Fluttershy stood above her. Scattered around Pinkie were boxes of decorations—streamers, confetti, and other party necessities. Apple Bloom’s birthday was coming up, and Applejack asked for her help in planning.
She told Fluttershy she’d be busy.
Yet, she still wanted to see Pinkie.
“W-Well you know what it’s like with filly parties!” Pinkie smiled awkwardly, holding a checklist, notebook, and a pencil pressed into her puffy mane. Her head began to hurt the moment Fluttershy walked into her room.
Fluttershy frowned.
The throbbing in Pinkie’s head got worse.
“I’m sure Applejack should be helping you, at least…” Fluttershy rubbed her foreleg. “Why’s it look like you’re doing all the work?”
Pinkie was about to say a rebuttal but swallowed her words instead. She shouldn’t upset Fluttershy more than this.
“Sorry… but you know how it is?” Pinkie laughed nervously.
Fluttershy shook her head. “I know… I just wished you could still find time for me somehow.”
“I already see you, like, every other day, though?” Pinkie thought to herself. Every time they were apart, she noticed that she’d worry over what Fluttershy was thinking, and if she’d come to visit her after their short separation. She’d often go to Sugarcube Corner just to see Pinkie while she was working.
Pinkie’s headache worsened, and her ears folded to the back of her head. Fluttershy then brushed past all the boxes to sit in front of Pinkie Pie. She tenderly held Pinkie’s cheek in her hoof, inspecting her eyes that looked all too baggy.
Fluttershy wrapped her forelegs around Pinkie Pie. “Please, just—” She gently ran her hoof along Pinkie’s mane. “Don’t forget to rest.”
Pinkie slowly returned the embrace. “Mmm.” She hummed her agreement.
“I love you.” Fluttershy kissed Pinkie on the cheek.
Pinkie didn’t move for a few moments, but she did breathe a sigh of relief. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, as if she was about to say something. However, the words she wanted to say weren’t coming out. Her head throbbed again in pain, and she tightened her embrace with Fluttershy. She then returned Fluttershy’s kiss and buried her face into her chest.
For some reason, she wanted to let go.
But she couldn’t.
She shouldn’t.
Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy went on another date.
They sat in Fluttershy’s favorite spot. Beneath a tree, just outside the Everfree forest.
Pinkie Pie nibbled on some snacks while she listened to Fluttershy. Her eyes trailed off to look at the scenery. The green trees, the flying birds, the plethora of critters that appeared on the forest border.
“Pinkie.” Fluttershy started, causing the pink mare to meet her gaze. “You know how… we were at Twilight’s yesterday?”
Pinkie nodded with a smile. “Yeah! We had a huuuge party for Twilight’s birthday!” Pinkie puffed out her chest. “Planned by yours truly~”
Fluttershy smiled. “Yeah… it was a great party.”
“So… why’d you wanna talk about it?”
“W-Well… I- uh.” Fluttershy grinded her hoof on the ground. “You know how you h-hugged everypony? Talked to everypony?”
“Y-Yeah?” Pinkie tilted her head. She was doing what she would always do with her friends.
Fluttershy held her head down. “I… felt kinda jealous?”
Pinkie felt a sharp pain in her head. “What—why?” Pinkie asked, taken aback. “They’re our friends, Fluttershy. I don’t… why would you be jealous?”
“I know, and I’m sorry!” she cried. “I-I just… I don’t know. It looked like you liked talking to them more than me. Like you wanted to be with them more than with me.”
Pinkie had a full-on headache now.
Jealous? Of her own bestfriends?
Was Pinkie missing something?
Were these normal feelings for ponies in a relationship?
She didn’t know.
Nor did she understand. They were their best friends. Ponies that’ve been with them through thick and thin, in the hardest moments of their lives. Without them, Pinkie knew neither her nor Fluttershy would be the same ponies they were today. She loved them. Yet, that didn’t matter—not right now.
All she could do was hug Fluttershy.
“I-It’s okay. I don’t really get why you felt like that, but it’s okay. W-We can sort this out.”
Fluttershy buried her face into Pinkie’s chest. Pinkie thought that she must’ve felt horrible for feeling that way. Pinkie gently comforted her.
“I love you, Pinkie.” Fluttershy mumbled.
Those words again.
Hearing Fluttershy say them made her think about everything that had happened up to this point. Pinkie knew Fluttershy loved her. There was only one thing…
Did she feel the same way?
She cared about her greatly. Heck, Fluttershy was one of her best friends! But… Pinkie didn’t know if she ever felt like they could be more than that.
Now, she knew.
Pinkie gently yet firmly pushed her away.
“We need to talk.”
Fluttershy looked at Pinkie, confused. Fluttershy was taken aback with the firm look in Pinkie’s eyes. She could only nod in response.
“I-Is it about what I said earlier…?”
“... Kinda.” Pinkie answered.
“What is it?” Fluttershy reached for Pinkie’s hoof and held it with hers.
Pinkie pulled her hoof away.
Fluttershy eyes widened in shock, and she forgot to breathe for a few moments.
“I’m sorry, it really was about what I said, wasn’t it?” Fluttershy held her own hoof close to ehr chest, as a few tears formed in her eyes.
Pinkie could feel her heart wrench at the sight before her. She cared about Fluttershy, but she knew there had been something wrong about this relationship.
At first, she was excited to find somepony for her. A mare that was also, in simple terms, gay. In her moments of joy, she nonchalantly asked Fluttershy to date her.
She never considered how she’d felt for Fluttershy beforehand.
Nor did she follow the signs her own heart showed her when Fluttershy confessed to her.
Yes, she yearned for a romantic relationship with another pony.
Yes, she was more than willing to do her best to make her relationship with Fluttershy work.
Yet, it felt like it was Pinkie who was sacrificing parts of herself for this.
Her time, her effort, her friendships, her own mental-well being.
She wanted this burden off of her chest.
“I’m sorry, Fluttershy.” Pinkie looked straight into her eyes.
Tears rolled down Fluttershy’s cheek. “N-No… Pinkie, please…” She reached out to hug Pinkie, an embrace that wasn’t returned.
“P-Please, we can fix this!” Fluttershy cried. “I don’t know how, but I’m sure we can—we can…”
“... Fluttershy.” Pinkie pushed her away. “I care about you— I really do, but I’m sorry.”
Fluttershy could only muffle her cries with a hoof as Pinkie said her piece.
“I was happy when you said you liked me. Heck, I was even excited.”
Fluttershy shakily nodded her head.
“But, I feel like in everything we’ve done together—it me was giving myself up for you.”
Fluttershy shook her head as a river of tears dripped from her eyes.
“Sorry, but that’s how I felt.“ Pinkie laughed dryly. “And that’s when I realized…”
Fluttershy’s wings drooped to the ground. “Pinkie— Pinkie, please, I l-love you…”
Pinke stared at her for a few moments in silence. Her heart was broken—she was the one who broke Fluttershy’s heart. All of this could’ve been avoided if she herself communicated her own feelings better.
But, instead, she bottled it up, hoping to herself that this relationship would fix itself.
She didn’t understand before that that wasn’t how it worked.
“W-Why aren’t you saying anything…?”
Pinkie let out a shaky sigh as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“I care about you Fluttershy…”
Pinkie gave Fluttershy one, last, broken smile as she said what she’s been wanting to say for the past several months.
“But I never loved you.”
