Betrayal was always a difficult subject, and one Sunset Shimmer tried to avoid whenever she could. It was, to her, a last resort. She hated betrayal. Maybe that was due to how it felt to be betrayed. It hurt. Betrayal tore at your soul, attacked the fiber of your being. It left you hopeless and helpless, betrayal ripped trust from you, it made you spiteful, it made you angry. If you gave her enough time, Sunset was sure she could make an argument that betrayal was what set her on her original path in the first place, and she would be right.
After all, it wasn't just the mirror incident that had separated her from Celestia originally. Sure, the mirror was the breaking point, but those last years, as Celestia neglected Sunset more and more? That was where Sunset experienced betrayal first. And it wasn't some quick betrayal, no, it lasted years. It had burned at Sunset from the inside out until there was only contempt and anger left. Celestia had been the closest Sunset had ever had to a family, a real family.
And now, stood in Sugarcube Corner, trying her best to convince her friends that she wasn't, in fact, Anon-A-Miss, she could feel it happening again, just much, much faster.
"Please, I'm telling you! It wasn't me! I wouldn't- I couldn't- Not to you!"
"You could though! In fact, it fits your method almost perfectly, darling."
Sunset couldn't help but flinch from the pure venom in Rarity's voice. They really did believe Sunset had betrayed them, but rather than listening and getting to the truth, they were now throwing Sunset out. Betraying her. Much like Celestia.
"We trusted you, Sunset! You threw this back in our faces!"
"Ah speak for all o' us when ah say ah don't want anythin ta do with a two-faced fox such as yourself!"
She could feel the anger and sadness burning inside her at Applejack's words, but the last thing she wanted to do now was react and make everything so much worse.
So she did the only thing she could think to do. She grabbed her journal, and she stumbled outside, into the snow. It was a bad idea, and she knew it. It was on the verge of a blizzard outside. But she couldn't be inside. Not anymore.
You did this. You deserve this.
It wasn't me!
You can't even convince your 'friends!' You're pathetic.
Leave me alone!
Let go. Let me help.
No!
You're useless! Worthless! You deserve this! Let. Me. Help.
But Sunset couldn't quiet the voice in her head, the demon that haunted her dreams.
She slumped to the floor against the wall, in the only somewhat-dry spot. Sunset opened the journal to a blank page, pen in hand. She didn't know what to write. But she had to write something. She realised with a start she was crying, as a tear hit the page in front of her.
Twilight,
They wouldn't listen, and I can't do this without them. I can feel the burning. The demon, it's trying to get out. I can't stop it. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Please tell Celestia she was the best mother and mentor I could have asked for.
Sunset Shimmer.
Sunset left the journal on the floor, and tugged off her coat, covering the book. She was burning alive. She couldn't stop the demon. Not without her friends, without her family. Sunset ran into the blizzard, with no intention of going back.
It wasn't long after that the group pushed their way outside. The confrontation with Sunset had taken any semblance of joy out of the meeting, and now they just wanted to go home. Applejack herself felt drained. This wasn't what she'd wanted. She'd wanted to help Sunset, she really had, but how could she when the flame-haired girl threw that kindness right back at them? How could she-
"Do you hear that?"
Pinkie Pie's voice broke Applejack's focus.
"Hear what, Pinkie? We're in the middle of a blizzard!"
"Not the blizzard, silly Rainbow. The buzzing!"
Applejack shared a look with Rainbow Dash. Buzzing?
"Look! It's Sunset's coat!"
Fluttershy's call drew all of their attention to a light blue winter coat sat on the floor. Rarity reacted first.
"What on earth is she doing?! She'll freeze to death out there!"
Applejack felt a sinking feeling deep in her stomach. That feeling when you eat a rotten apple, or, more fittingly for this situation, the feeling when you realise you fucked up.
Massively.
The feeling got stronger as she approached the coat, and picked it up. It got stronger again when she saw the journal Sunset kept underneath it. Without so much as a second thought, Applejack snatched up the buzzing journal and hurried the others inside once more, before opening the journal.
It must have been magical, because it reacted by itself, and flew open to a double page with writing on. She read Sunset's words from the last week, and felt the sick feeling deepening as she realised Sunset had been right all along. It hadn't been her. And then she got to the latest entry.
It took all of Applejack's willpower to not break down crying, or be sick, right then and there. But the journal still buzzed. She turned the page.
Sunset
I'll be there as soon as possible. Please, please just hold on a little longer. You've got to tell Celestia yourself. You can come visit her. Just don't do anything stupid. Please, Sunset, please. Just a little longer.
Applejack slumped back in her seat.
Talk to me Sunset, please!
Say something!
Sunset!
"We fucked up."
Rarity shared a look with the other girls before sitting across from Applejack.
"How bad, Applejack?"
Applejack couldn't raise her voice past a whisper.
"It wasn't her. She- She's going to kill herself."
Applejack and Pinkie Pie ran through the snow as they searched desperately through the park. Sunset couldn't have gotten far in the minutes it had taken them to read the journal and chase after her, but in a blizzard and sub-zero temperatures, they couldn't be sure if Sunset was still alive or if she had already become a number on a tally.
No. She's still alive. She has ta be.
I won't let her die.
"SUNSEEEEET!"
Come on girl. Talk ta us.
"Applejack! The pond!"
Her head snapped towards the pond that Pinkie had called out, and through the dark and snow she could make out a figure stood by the side of the pond. Applejack began running, faster than she'd ran before.
"SUNSET!"
The figure reacted, turning to face her. Applejack began to make out details. Flame coloured hair. Amber skin. It was her. Sunset reached towards her, and... collapsed. Without a thought, Applejack slid to her knees alongside the girl.
"No, no! Sunset! Sunset wake up!"
A groan.
"Sunset, stay with me! You can't fall asleep, not now!"
"A- Applejack? What're you-"
Sunset's already soft, faint voice faded out, and the girls eyes closed. She began mumbling something, but Applejack wasn't listening as she picked up the girl and began sprinting to Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie close behind, phone pressed to her ear.
"Sunset, stay with me girl. You were right. It wasn't you. We're sorry, so sorry. Stay with me, honey, please!"
The mumbling got a little louder and her eyes fluttered open, so Applejack lowered an ear to Sunset's mouth as she ran.
"Princess? I'm glad it's you, Celestia. It's so cold. So, so cold. Have you come to take me home now?"
"Sunset, honey, no! Stay with me!"
"Celestia? Can I go home? My family- they must be so worried."
But Applejack knew, from a previous discussion, Sunset had no family, and was just hallucinating Princess Celestia. Sunset was an orphan, and her baby sister had died-
The realisation hit her like a truck.
Died in a blizzard. Like this.
"My friends? They don't care. I want mom, I want dad. I- I want-"
Was Sunset seeing what happened? During that blizzard in Equestria? Was she reliving it?
"Sunset, please. Keep your eyes open. Stay awake for me."
The faint voice got even quieter, and her eyes shut again.
"I want Sunray. I want my little sister."
Applejack burst through the doors of Sugarcube Corner and laid Sunset on a booth chair. Pinkie turned to her.
"I called the others. Stay with her, I'll get blankets."
Pinkie ran off, shouting for help, and Applejack grabbed the amber girls hand, trying desperately to warm it.
It wasn't too long before the others returned, having received news from Pinkie, who was now helping Applejack cover Sunset in blankets. The girl was barely breathing, but she was breathing.
"That was too close. Ah should've just, listened!"
"Applejack, darling, it's not just your fault, it's all of ours."
Applejack felt the tears on her face and could only nod dimly as Rarity pulled her in for a hug. The warmth from the fashionista spread through Applejack, and she felt a rush of affection for the smaller girl. Rarity always made her feel better.
"Rares- Ah-"
"Shhh, shh. Not now."
It didn't take a genius to realise Sunset had been extremely lucky. If Applejack had been slower, if they'd left later - Sunset would have been dead. And it would have been their fault. Princess Twilight had been informed of Sunset's safety, and they'd recieved a written lecture via the journal as a result. But, to Applejack, and to the others, it was worth it.
Sunset was okay.
They hadn't lost a friend- no, a family member- to their own stupidity. And as Applejack sat next to the sleeping Sunset, she felt a protective tug towards the girl. She'd been through more than anyone deserved to have to go through.
"So, who is Anon-A-Miss if it isn't Sunset?"
Dash's question filled the silence and replaced it with an uncomfortable one. The only question they didn't have an answer to.
"It was us."
Applejack span in her seat, to find Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, heads down, feet shuffling nervously.
"We didn't know she'd do that- We never wanted it to go that far!"
"We just wanted to get her away from you all! She's been spending so much time with you..."
"And you've not been spending any with us! We just thought she wasn't any better- tearin us apart!"
Applejack stood, and approached Apple Bloom silently.
"We- we're sorry!"
Applejack placed her hands on her sisters shoulders.
"Sugarcube. What you did was bad, but you've acknowledged that. What you should've done was talk ta us. Tell us your fears. Then we wouldn't have this whole problem we have now."
She sighed.
"When we get back inta school, you three are gonna tell Principal Celestia what you've done. And you three are gonna apologise to Sunset. Okay?"
The trio nodded.
"Now, Ahm gonna drive Sunset back ta her apartment and keep an eye on her. You can go with Rarity, she'll drop you all back of where you need to be."
Applejack knew she was going to have to apologise herself, first, and then with the rest of their group before the trio could. But, if she was going to keep an eye on Sunset overnight, she could apologise when the girl woke up.
She was just glad that the girl would still wake up.
Author's Note
[Note copied from Archive]
Number on a Tally was, if you couldn't tell, written in a day. About 4 hours if I'm being precise.
IN MY DEFENCE I was working on another pre- Dying Rays story, and still editing Storm in a Bottle for upload, but who am I to deny the writers flood when it hits?? I knew I needed to cover Anon-A-Miss in some way, and when the idea came I just ran with it.
So it might be a bit short, and it might not be amazing, but I liked it. So here it is.
DEAL WITH IT.
Anyway thanks as always for reading, I hope you all have amazing days, I love you all and don't forget to go to sleep!
(Yes this entire series is basically me bullying Sunset bc I love her <33)
