“You think you’re so great! You think just because you got turned into a foal it makes you’re reign so much easier!”

Anon glared up at the draconoquus as he slurped his drink through a crazy straw. “If you got a problem with me, I suggest you just go ahead and say it!”

“You’re stealing my spotlight!” Discord slammed his mug down on the bar, refusing to so much as spare a glance at Anon. Instead he kept his focus strong on the bottled beverages behind the bar. ”Soon as I reformed, you appear out of nowhere and start raining down chaos on everyone! Just what the actual hell!?”

Anon rested his hoof under his head, looking up at the pouting draconoquus. “Listen, Dystopia-“

“Discord,” he corrected.

“Dylan- I didn’t ask for any of this magical horse land! One day I’m minding my own business, dumping a bucket of maple syrup on my boss’ car and then boom!” Anon slammed a hoof on the bar. “Red and blue lights followed by a loud siren! Then two little angry cops chase you down an alley and you try hiding in a dumpster but all of a sudden you end up in this sugary hell! I’m just working with what I got, ya know?”

“Yes, yes. I’ve heard the sob story. But here’s the deal, kid. Chaos is my gig. I got the gig over a thousand years ago! So imagine how it feels when-“

“Wait. Hold on,” Anon interrupted. “When you say over a thousand years, do you mean a thousand and one?”

Discord rolled his eyes. “A thousand and eight to be exact, but who’s counting?”

“Well, I am, actually. You see, I’ve been stuck in this pony body for a acouple weeks now, and I’ve realized something. You’re not the only one who can stir things up around here. I’ve got a knack for it too. So unless you can send me home, I ain’t going anywhere.”

Discord smiled mischievously. “Oh, believe me, shrimp. There are an infinite amount of places I can send you. But I made a promise to Fluttershy that I’d play nice. If I knew which one you came from you would be back there already.”

“That being said,” Anon continued. “I think you and I aren’t so different.”

Discord snorted into his drink. “Not so different? Ha! You’re just a tiny little pest trying to play in the big leagues. You dare compare yourself to me?”

“Well…” Anon began, taking a sip through his straw with a smug look. “While you’re on the path of righteousness I’m on the path that rocks. And while I’m sure they found you amusing for a while, eventually they will begin to hate you again. Why bother playing the good guy?”

The draconoquus glared down at him, his tail flicking in irritation. “Because unlike you, I have someone who actually likes me. I hurt her once. I won’t do it again.”

Anon raised an eyebrow. “Fluttershy, you mean. But that’s just it, isn’t it? You’re playing by their rules. You think you’re keeping the chaos in check, but all you’re doing is putting yourself on a leash for them to yank whenever they feel like it. They don’t respect you, they just tolerate you because they have no choice. Join me. Imagine what we could accomplish together! The things we could create!”

Discord’s tail suddenly wrapped around Anon’s neck and lifted him until their eyes met. “You think I’m a fool, don’t you? That I don’t know what you’re trying to do? I should turn you into stone right here, right now! The ponies will probaly praise me for doing it, too!” His eyes glowed with a dangerous light.

Anon swallowed, struggling to breath. “Go ahead, Disco. But you better do it before I make an ugly face. Nopony will want me in their garden.” He began to twist his face into multiple grotesque expressions that would make a gargoyle look like a beauty queen.

To his own surprise, Discord found himself chuckling, the tension in his tail easing. He set Anon back down on the bar stool. “You got chaos in you, I’ll give you that. But you’re still just a foal playing with matches in the forest. Meanwhile, I’m the inferno.”

Anon rubbed his neck, still smiling as Discord released him. "Well, I'll take that as a compliment, I guess. But I've got news for you, pal. Chaos isn't about burning things down. It's about shaking things up so something better can be built. So, why don’t you give me a call when you want to take chaos a little more seriously? Here’s my card.”

With a flourish, Anon slapped down a red card and slid it towards Discord.

Anon finished his drink with a series of loud, exaggerated slurps that seemed to echo through the bar. He grinned at Discord, hopped off his seat and headed out the door. The draconoquus watched him go, his eyes narrowed in contemplation. As the door swung shut, he reached out his talon and picked up the card. It showed a line of ten cups with nine of them stamped. Underneath it read: 10th Slurpee free!

"Cute," he murmured to himself, tossing the card into his mouth and swallowing it.

Just as he was about to take another sip of his drink, Discord felt something tugging at his tail. He turned and looked down to find Anon with a sheepish expression.

“What do you want now?” Discord groaned.

“I just remembered you didn’t just teleport us to a bar anywhere in Equestria.”

Discord feigned ignorance. “Oh, really? And what ever could have given you that idea?”

“Well, for starters I’m pretty sure Equestria doesn’t have giant guinea pigs wearing top hats and talking in fancy English accents,” Anon said, gesturing to the other patrons of the bar who were all dressed up rodents and sipping on fancy teacups. All chatting away in their snooty British accents.

“I say Chadwick, what do you make of those peculiar creatures over there?” one of the well-dressed guinea pigs at a table asked his companion.

The other guinea pig, Chadwick, took a dainty sip of his tea before raising a monocle to his eye. “Ah, yes. They do seem a bit of the odd sort, don’t they, Garfield? Especially that mismatched fellow if I do say so myself.”

“Indubitably,” Garfield replied with a snort. “I suspect they’re from the other side of the looking glass. Or perhaps they’re here for the Grand Tube Show. I for one tried to get hold of tickets myself but alas, they sold out."

“Yes, I expected you to come across such misfortune,” Chadwick said with a knowing nod. “Those tickets are quite the rare commodity. So I went ahead and purchased an extra ticket for this occasion.”

“Oho! You do spoil me, dear Chadwick! Where will we be seated?”

“Only the finest for us, old chap! The Royal Box, of course! It’s not every day one is privileged enough to witness the Grand Tube Show!”

And with that the guinea pigs shared a good chortle.

Author's Note

NOW ITS OVER!