Pinkie Pie Chainsaw

by Aether Spark

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, Original Character, Spike (EqG), Pinkie Pie (EqG), Comedy, Romance, Equestria Girls, Violence, Crossover, Dark, Death, Human
Length: 7934

When darkness comes to invade, the cheeriest person will keep it at bay

Pinkie Pie is many things, cheerful, a party planner extraordinaire, a cheerleader, a baker, a lover of waffles, and more.

But a warrior?

When Pinkie's closest friends and the world are in peril, only two things stand in evil's way.

Pinkie Pie, and her chainsaw!... And Spike if you wanted to tack on a third.

Can Pinkie and Spike discover the evil plans of the Doomsayer and defeat his souped-up minions?

[This is of course based on the game Lolipop Chainsaw, and several other things, credit to them and the ones supporting me through this]

Published 2025-02-03 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2025-02-14 00:48:51 UTC

Start your engines!

Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through the greatness of mind.”

Aristotle

A night sky… and the moon shone down on what looked like a black building.

Outside of town and far into the distance… a figure was flying towards it.

As the being landed within a colosseum-like location within the building, he folded his wings and walked up to digital figures in a circle.

As he stood in the middle he looked around, they all wore cloaks hiding their true identities.

“...So… has your entry into this worlds barrier been smooth?” The figure casually asked.

“I grow impatient…” A voice came from a medium-sized one.

“Heehee, the anticipation is killing me!” another scrawny one said.

“As long as the payout is worth it, I’m in,” A normal-sized one said.

“Enough!” Another one said “How long are we to wait?” one with a giant metal fist said.

“I, too, wonder?” A raspy fifth voice said.

“Patience, my associates… their scout hasn’t found our base yet, and the conditions are optimal; in just a day, you can all have the worlds you desire, and I can finally be rid of mine…” He said.

“I, just can’t WAIT to see the look on their faces when we march in,” The scrawny one giggled.

“Through this conflict, we will rise to new heights!” The big one said

“Just stay out of my way in the end,” The burly one said.

“Petience, first get here, then the mayhem and the plan will be yours to do with as you please. As for the warrior of light… we’ll need to be prepared,” he said.

“I expect everything promised,” The raspy voice said.

“And more,” He said before leaving.

“Oooh! I love more,” The scrawny one said excitedly.

“I will take my spare time to see if she lives up to the legend… here’s hoping,” He said with a chuckle as he spread his wings and flew into the sky again.

Canterlot High School

“C.A.N.T.E.R.L.O.T WHICH TEAM IS GONNA WIN WHICH IS NOT!” Several mares cheered.

It was a big game today and the cheerleaders were doing their routine to cheer for their team.

And the head cheerleader was none other than Pinkie Pie!

“WHOOHOO!” Pinkie leaped to the top of the stack of girls in one gravity-defying bounce and landed with a flourish.

“CAAAAAAAAANNNTERLOOOOT!” Pinkie finished the cheer routine.

“Woohoo!” Rainbow said.

Her friends doing the same.

“Wow, Pinkie was destined for the cheerleader role,” AJ said.

“She really is, what with her cheerful personality,” Twilight said.

“She’s been aiming to become the head cheerleader for ,a while; let’s hope she can have fun while doing so,,” Spike said as he sat on Twilight’s lap.

“Go Pinkie!” Fluttershy said.

As Pinkie was cheering, the quarterback managed to score a touch,down.

“OMG! Touchdown! Better bust, out the ‘Touchdown Surprise’!” Pinkie said and she jumped off the stack and pulled out her party cannon.

“T-shirts incoming!” Pinkie told the crowd and then she fired a dozen into the crowd of people.

The people caught the shirts that advertised the bakery Pinkie worked at.

Except for one poor grey guy who was hit in the face and fell over.

“Ooof!” He grunted.

“Sorry!” Pinkie called to him and then she continued firing into the crowd.

After the game, Pinkie bounced past the other cheerleaders who were walking back to the locker rooms.

“Good work today Pinkie!” Blossomforth said.

“Thanks!” Pinkie said as she bounced up to her friends, she bumped into the grey guy from before and turned to him.

“Oh! Hi Grey,” Pinkie said to her friend.

“...Hi…” He mumbled.

Pinkie knew Grey very well; she was… his only friend. He was quite a loner and was too shy to make other friends, and he got bullied a lot.

She’s offered for him to join her friend group, but he’s too shy, especially around girls.

He seems fond of her though.

“You heading home?” Pinkie asked.

“No… My dad is there…” Grey mumbled.

Oh yeah, and dad problems…

“Well, hey, I’m sure you can find a hangout buddy; I’m about to go with mine,” Pinkie said.

“U-uh, actually… I was….hoping you’d like… to…. Hang out with me?” He asked.

“...Hmm, sorry, but I’ve been planning with my friends for a week now, maybe time,” Pinkie said.

“Oh… that’s… ok…” Grey said as he walked away.

“Grey, I-” Pinkie said before she noticed an unusual figure walk past Grey and up to her.

He was wearing a black hoodie that obscured his face… in the middle of summer?... weird.

“Hiya sir! Wanna support the local team?” Pinkie was cut off when the being grabbed her arm.

“Huh? Hey, what are you-” Pinkie was cut off when he whispered in her ear.

“Warrior of light…” He said before he walked away.

“What?” Pinkie said as she watched him walk away.

“Pinkie!” Pinkie heard her friends, and she turned to see them, deciding to be optimistic and forgetting the encounter; she bounced up to them.

“What was that about?” AJ asked.

“I dunno,” Pinkie said.

“Well, hopefully, he isn’t some kind of creep,” Fluttershy said as she saw the hooded figure disappear into the crowd.

“Ah well, let’s get moving on home to celebrate a successful game!” Rainbow said.

“Way ahead of you,” Pinkie said as they walked off.

As they made their way to Pinkie’s residence, Pinkie couldn’t shake the feeling she was missing something.

“Warrior of light…?” Pinkie said to herself quietly.

And so the group had arrived at Pinkie’s home, and they partied.

Pinkie was out back with her friends while her sisters and parents were inside.

“Did you adlib that last part of the cheer?” Rainbow asked.

“Yeppers! The others told me not to, but Pinkie without spontaneousness, is not Pinkie at all,” Pinkie said.

“Agreed,” Twilight said.

“Alright, now who wants cupcakes?” Pinkie asked.

“Not me,” Rainbow said.

“Too bad, we’re making some,” Pinkie giggled and she bounced inside.

As she bounced into the kitchen, Pinkie began rapidly gathering the ingredients for the cupcakes.

As she was prepring to pick up the flour she turned around and came face to face with the hooded man.

“Huh?!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Their coming… their all in danger…” He said before he vanished as Rainbow entered.

“On second thought, I’ll have one… hey Pinks, you ok?” Rainbow asked seeing how shaken up Pinkie was.

“I uh… n-nah, must be hallucinating, let’s get baking!” Pinkie nervously said.

“Uh, sure,” Rainbow said.

The party lasted throughout the night and Pinkie let everypony go home when it was time.

Pinkie would go on to have a nightmare that very night…

Pinkie was having a nightmare in her bed and it was all surreal.

Images of seven different hooded beings.

A giant monster tearing up the city.

The sky is red and meteors are falling.

And one hooded figure, the one she’d been seeing, spoke these words to her.

“Undak, Merak un velos al tilerak, fos eht Gersc gfreals,”

The words keep chanting in her head, and pretty soon…

She wakes up.

“Gah!” Pinkie shot up on her bed panting heavily as she remembers the nightmare.

“Wow… alright, no more five cupcakes before bed,…” Pinkie said.

Pinkie Pie made her way to school, she wanted to clear her head with a walk.

As she walked on the path to school, she saw that her friends who normally waited for her over by the bus stop, weren’t there.

“Weird… I guess I’ll be heading to school alone,” Pinkie shrugged and got to the bus stop.

After an hour of waiting Pinkie began to get worried.

“Is it Saturday?...” Pinkie checked her phone and it said it was Monday… weird…

After waiting, she decided to make her way to school to see what was going on.

“Maybe it’s a planned party? Or perhaps a fun little half-day event.” Pinkie said as she made her way down the street.

She eventually arrived at school to find the grounds deserted… which is odd given that a game happened yesterday, there should at least be a cleaning crew…

“What is happening? Pinkie asked, she looked around until she came upon a shocking sight.

Spike… he was lying on the ground.

“SPIKE!” Pinkie cried running over to him. He seemed fine, that was good.

After shaking him a few times he opened his eyes.

“Ugh… Pinkie?” Spike asked before looking around frantically?” Pinkie asked.

“Twilight! Where is she? And the others?” Spike asked worriedly.

“I don’t know, what happened? Where is everybody?” Pinkie asked.

“I-I don’t even know what happened; all I remember is walking with Twilight up to the school, and then suddenly… something ambushed us, some guy in a black cloak, he kicked me, and then I lost consciousness; Spike said as he got up but stumbled a little.

“Spike, you're saying they were taken!? We gotta find them then!” Pinkie said.

“R-right,” Spike nodded.

“Can you sniff them out?” Pinkie asked.

“I can try,” Spike nodded, and he began sniffing the ground, and his nose led him to the door to the school.

As they went inside, they noticed the school was dark and spooky.

Spike whimpered but Pinkie she comforted him.

“Don’t worry, Spike, at the first sign of danger, you can count on me to get us out,” Pinkie said.

“O-ok,” Spike nodded, and he led her down the halls; they turned several corners, and Pinkie hesitantly tried calling for her friends.

“Helloooo?” Pinkie called.

“Twilight?” Spike asked hesitantly.

As the two made their way around, Pinkie noticed, out of the corner of her eye, a figure making their way across the end of a hallway.

“Girls!?” Pinkie cried, seeing, the figure vanish, she quickly ran over there and found nothing.

“You saw that too right?” Spike asked.

“Yeah…. Something isn’t right,” Pinkie said as she made her way down another hall, Spike following closely behind.

As they made it to another hall, they saw the figure entering the gymnasium.

“There!” Pinkie said, running down to the gym and opening it.

As they ran in there they noticed everything looked different.

Chairs were piled high around the gym,and there were cratches on the walls.

“P-Pinkie… I’m worried,” Spike said.

“D-don’t worry, I’m sure any moment they're all going to jump out and yell-” Pinkie said before a voice behind her spoke.

“Surprise,” The cloaked figure said.

“AAAAHH!” Pinkie jumped away and saw the hooded figure.

“We meet at last, Pinkie Pie,” The figure said.

“...Who are you?... What did you do with my friends!?” Pinkie demanded.

“....You should be more worried about yourself, than them,” He said before he extended his hand and a pair of sword hilts fell into his hands, then he gripped them and a pair of purple curved glowing blades appeared on them.

“What the?...” Pinkie backed away.

“I had hoped you would be with them, but this works too, here,” He tossed a blade to Pinkie.

“Huh? What am I going to do with this?” Pinkie asked.

“...Survive,” The figure said before he zoomed forward and slashed at Pinkie.

“WHOA!” Pinkie leaned back narrowly avoiding a decapitating strike.

“Pick it up,” He said.

“O-ok,” Pinkie nervously said.

“Show me what the ‘warrior of light’ can do,” He said.

“Who are you?” Pinkie asked.

“The voice of armageddon, the high prophet of evil, I am the mortal enemy of the warrior of light, I am, the Doomsayer,” The Doomsayer said.

“Doomsayer… what a depressing name,” Spike said.

“Shut up,” Doomsayer said before launching forward and swinging at Pinkie who cried out in surprise and swung her blade to parry it, only his blow was strong enough to send her off her feet.

“WHAAA!” Pinkie cried as she tumbled on the ground.

“Pinkie!” Spike cried as he ran over to her.

“Pathetic, don’t you know how to use a weapon?” The Doomsayer demanded.

“Grr! Give back my friends!” Pinkie said running forward and swinging her sword a few times but he easily sidestepped her swings and jabbed her in the gut.

“Guh!” Pinkie cried out.

“...I see,” He then swung his blade a few times and Pinkie, fighting back the pain managed to deflect a few swings, only to get knocked over.

He spun his blade and plunged it down but she rolled away and got up before swinging it into his shoulder.

“Hah! Got… you?” Pinkie noticed her blade hadn’t even drawn blood.

“I cannot be harmed by a mere mortal,” The Doomsayer said before spinning and roundhouse kicking Pinkie through the doors to the gym.

“AAAAH!” Pinkie cried, having dropped the sword, which he picked up as he walked towards her.

“Pinkie! We need to go!” Spike said.

“O-ok!” Pinkie said managing to get up and flee as the Doomsayer walked after her.

As she fled outside through an emergency exit, she noticed he wasn’t following her anymore.

As she turned to keep running she suddenly ran right into him.

“Huh?!” Pinkie exclaimed, her Pinkie Sense, didn’t sense him?!

“Your running? How cute,” He said before grabbing her by her neck and throwing her a good twenty feet away.

“AAAH!” Pinkie cried as she hit the ground.

“Hey!” Spike ran up and bit him on the leg.

“...Beat it,” The Doomsayer flung Spike off with a kick of the leg and he landed next to Pinkie.

“Spike!” Pinkie cried as she struggled to her feet.

“Tell me… where my friends are!” Pinkie demanded.

“They're right here,” He said before he began to raise his hands “It is time to set things in motion, clear the sins of this world, and begin, the end,” The Doomsayer said before raising his hands and a dark energy erupted from his hands and it flew into the air.

As the darkness arched up into the air and then came down behind him and what appeared was Pinkie’s friends, all five of them, strung up by glowing shackles.

“Girls… NO!” Pinkie cried.

“And now, my allies from other worlds… Come to me!” The Doomsayer ordered and suddenly from the portal behind him, six beings emerged.

All of them varying shapes and sizes.

“You can remove the cloaks now,” The Doomsayer said.

“Finally, it was getting stuffy in this thing,” The scrawny one said before they all cast aside their cloaks.

And standing before Pinkie were six intimidating beings.

“Introducing my fellow destroyers,” The Doomsayer said, gesturing to them.

“The fast and furious, Speed Demon,”

“The strong and powerful, Bane,”

“He who shall not be named, but I will anyways, Lord Voldemort,”

“The devious super soldier, Albert Wesker,”

“The mighty warmonger, Doomfist,”

“And last but not least, the clown prince of crime, Joker,”

“Aww, he did me last,” Joker mock complained.

“This, is the warrior of light? I don’t believe it,” Doomfist said.

“One spell and I’ll end our problems,” Voldemort said before drawing his wand.

“Not even worth breaking,” Bane said.

“Wh-who, what…” Pinkie looked nervous.

“Warrior of light, I present to you, the ones who will help me lay waste to this pathetic world, but a good start will be your life,” Doomsayer said.

“Heh, I can deal with her,” Speed Demon said as he approached.

“What do you want?...” Pinkie demanded.

“As I said, the end of this world, and the fulfillment of the prophecy of the darkest day,” Doomsayer said.

“Why?!” Pinkie asked.

“...I have my reasons, but trust me, your friends will at least play their own roles, before I kill them,” Doomsayer said.

“...No… NOT HAPPENING!” Pinkie yelled before picking up a rock and running at him.

She lunged to strike him with it, determined to save her friends.

And stopped midair…

“Huh? What the?!” Pinkie exclaimed, before noticing the Wesker character had his hand raised.

“Hmmph,” Wesker said.

“Now, it is my turn,” Bane said approaching and raising a fist and nailing Pinkie out of the air.

She tumbled to the ground and coughed blood.

“I also granted them new powers, courtesy of the dark realm,” The Doomsayer added as he approached.

Pinkie couldn’t get up, she was too injured, and Spike was too.

“I end your life here, and thus, the only threat to my plans, this, was anti-climatic after all,” Doomsayer said raising a blade.

“No…” Pinkie said trying to get up.

“Goodbye, warrior of light,” The Doomsayer said as he swung his weapon down…

CLANK!

And another blade intercepted his.

“Huh?” Doomsayer looked up and saw another black robed figure.

“Forgot me?” The figure asked.

“...You…” Doomsayer tried to stab him with another blade but the figure dodged, grabbed Pinkie and Spike and then he ran.

“Get back here!” Doomsayer demanded as he and his associates tried to stop him.

“I got them,” Speed Demon prepared to run after them with his super speed, but the figure spun and threw a bunch of smaller devices which exploded on the ground, making all of them stop for a second.

Giving the figure time to press a button on his wrist.

“Beam me up Carrie! Quickly!” He said.

“Ok,” A cheery voice said over the intercom of his watch, and a light surrounded him before he vanished.

“...How annoying,” Wesker said as he walked to the spot and saw the burn marks.

“Will this impact our plans?” Doomfist demanded.

“Not even a little, let’s get moving,” Doomsayer said before he walked away with them back into the portal, where Pinkie’s friends were, and it vanished.

Pinkie woke up on a gurney, she groaned in disorientation and looked around.

She was in some kind of laboratory… A lab?!

Pinkie shot up with a yell and scooted back on the gurney.

“H-hello?” Pinkie asked.

“Hello,” A voice said behind her.

“AAAH!” Pinkie whirled and saw another black cloaked man.

“You!” Pinkie got out of bed and tried to get into fighting position… before stumbling to the ground.

Her body felt weird… almost… different.

“Calm down, I understand that this will be an adjustment, but it was necessary,” He said.

“What will?! Where’s my friends!?” Pinkie demanded.

“I’m not the Doomsayer, I can tell there’s some confusion there, I’m a friend!” He said.

“I don’t believe you!” Pinkie said struggling to her feet and grabbing a surgical saw before holding it out towards him.

“How can I prove it?” He asked.

“Take off the hood first!” Pinkie said.

“Ok,” He then pulled the hood off and Pinkie saw he was a red dragon-like creature, with various devices attached to him and brown hair.

“What the?.... What is happening?” Pinkie asked, still feeling weird.

“I know this will take much explanation, so I’ll start by introducing myself, I’m Tech Madness but my Friends call me Tesla, I’m an ally, I’ve had to mechanically modify some parts of you temporarily since your body was broken, but don’t worry, I can return you to normal,” Tesla said.

“Mechnically modify me?... Wait! What about Spike?” Pinkie asked.

“Right over there,” Tesla said pointing to a strange floating purple robot orb.

“Hey Pinkie… Not an ideal look but I had time to get used to it,” Spike said.

“What the?!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Calm yourself,” Tesla said.

“What happened… What is happening?!” Pinkie said.

“Listen, I can explain, but you need to come with me,” Tesla said.

Pinkie could tell the situation was out of her hands… in the end, she had no choice.

“A-alright… just please, tell me my friends are ok,” Pinkie said getting up.

“They will be,” Tesla said.

“I know what he says sounds crazy, but, he saved us, we can at least hear him out,” Spike said.

“O-ok,” Pinkie said, approaching him.

“Ok, follow me,” Tesla said.

Pinkie did, but she still seemed unsure of what was going to happen to her, or what happened to Spike.

One thing she can say for certain… this will be a strange day indeed…

Author's Note

Oh boy, this will be fun, you guys are in for a real treat this time around.

Preparing

Author's Note

Just to show people what they look like I'm posting pictures here.

Tesla

Spike

Preparing

Pinkie followed Tesla into another room, with Spike floating behind her.

“What did you do to me?... I feel different,” Pinkie said.

“I merely injected you with nanobots that will aid you in several ways,” Tesla said.

“Like?...” Pinkie wanted clarification.

“Improving muscle memory, enhancing strength, increasing pain tolerance, increasing agility, and more,” Tesla said.

“Wow… um…” Pinkie didn’t know what to say.

“I know this is alot to swallow,” Tesla said.

“What did you do to Spike?” Pinkie asked.

“I merely transferred his soul into an available robot body,” Tesla said as he lead her into a room.

“You make it sound like you did something easy,” Pinkie said.

“No offense, but your home world, compared to where I come from, your world is primitive at best,” Tesla said.

“Hey, we just invented a new ice cream flavor last week,” Pinkie said.

“I rest my case,” Tesla sighed. Your world is not ready for what’s coming its way, and we’re too shorthanded, which is why I was probably sent.” Tesla said as he began typing on something.

“Sent by who?” Pinkie demanded.

“The wanderers of light,” Tesla said.

“Wanderers of light?” Spike asked raising his metal brow.

“Whose that?” Pinkie asked.

Tesla sighed as he sat down with them and gestured for them to sit as well.

“I have quite the tale… let me start from the beginning, ‘The Story of the Light, the Darkness, and the Wanderers’

Long before life began, there was only Darkness. It was vast, empty, and silent, with no sound, movement, or warmth. The Darkness was content in its stillness, free from the complexities of life, until one day—against the silence—a single light appeared. This light shimmered and flickered in the endless dark, bringing warmth, color, and life with it.

The light spread its warmth, and beautiful things grew from it. Creatures, large and small, darted around in joyous harmony. Trees, flowers, and plants bloomed, carpeting the once-empty world with vibrant colors. A paradise was born in the light, a place full of life and wonder. But as time passed, more lights began to emerge from the Darkness, and the world expanded into something even greater—the Universe.

Soon, the Universe was filled with many lights, each shining brightly in its own place, giving life to planets and stars. The Darkness, once silent, now had something to contend with. It no longer felt peaceful or alone. It wanted its silence and emptiness back. The lights, however, refused to fade away. They loved the life they had created, and they wanted to create more.

In a fit of rage, Darkness made a decision. If it couldn’t have its silence, it would destroy the very thing that had defied it—life itself. Darkness began to corrupt the lights' creations, twisting them into terrifying creatures. Monsters, demons, and nightmarish beings were born from the Darkness, their only purpose to destroy everything the light had built.

The lights, seeing what had happened to their creations, knew they had to act. They decided to create Warriors of Light—strong, powerful protectors of the realms they had made. These warriors were the greatest of their kind, each imbued with unique abilities that could bend reality itself. Their task was clear: defend life from the Darkness, no matter the cost.

For millennia, a war raged between the forces of Light and Darkness. Each side suffered great losses, but neither was willing to back down. The lights mourned the loss of their warriors, for each death was a blow to the very essence of life they had cherished. In a final act of desperation, the Lights gathered their strength and created a plan to end the war once and for all.

They would destroy Darkness, but in doing so, they would have to sacrifice themselves. They gathered all their power, one last burst of radiant energy, and sealed Darkness away—forever. But the cost was great. Darkness was gone, yes, but so was the full power of the Warriors of Light. Their abilities were sealed away, hidden in the far reaches of the universe, waiting for the right moment to be unlocked.

But Darkness was not defeated entirely. Before it was sealed, it left behind a seed—a tiny spark within the hearts of every creature it had corrupted. These seeds were meant to grow, to slowly corrupt life from within, turning it against itself.

Yet, the Light was not without its countermeasures. The remaining Warriors, now known as the Elders of Light, decided to pass down the remnants of their power. They chose to spread this light across the multiverse, allowing new life to carry the blessings—and burdens—of both Light and Darkness.

Over the ages, life began to evolve on many different planets, with each world giving birth to unique species. Some of these species inherited the Light's power, while others were touched by the Darkness's seeds. The balance of these forces continued, ever shifting, as life grew in unpredictable ways.

The Darkness, however, was not content. It had watched as its forces were beaten again and again by the Warriors of Light. So, it changed its strategy. It began to wander, traveling to different universes, looking for ways to defeat the Light in new realms. And in some places, it found success. The Darkness corrupted those worlds, slowly conquering them because the warriors there were still too weak to unlock their full potential.

The Elders of Light, seeing that their warriors were struggling, knew they had to do something. They could not leave their own worlds vulnerable, but they could help those in need. And so, they created a new faction—the Wanderers of Light.

The Wanderers were chosen from among the inhabitants of various worlds, those who showed a thirst for adventure, a pure heart for life, and the courage to face the unknown. They were not the strongest warriors, but they were wise, resourceful, and compassionate. Their mission was clear: to assist those who needed help, to guide young warriors who had not yet unlocked their powers, and to protect the innocent from the growing darkness that threatened to consume them.

And so, the cycle continued. Life grew, evolved, and faced challenges, but the Wanderers of Light were always there—guiding, protecting, and ensuring that the light would never truly fade away.

For even in the darkest of times, when the shadows seemed to stretch far and wide, there would always be those who carried the light within them, ready to face the darkness and defend the beauty of life.

And thus, the story of the Light, the Darkness, and the Wanderers of Light went on, like the stars in the night sky—always shining, always enduring,” Tesla finished.

“Wow, that was… awesome!” Pinkie enthused “But who really sent you?” Pinkie asked obliviously.

“....The Wanderers of light,” Tesla repeated while sighing.

“Wait… that was real talk?” Spike said in surprise.

“Yes! Why would I lie about it?” Tesla said in exasperation.

“Sorry, sorry, so… what does this have to do with me? Why save me?” Pinkie asked.

“....This isn’t going to be easy to say… but you are a Warrior of Light, with the potential to become a Wanderer, your potential isn’t awakened yet, but with training, the combat instincts should kick in,” Tesla said.

“....WHAT?!” Pinkie and Spike exclaimed.

“I…” Tesla didn’t expect that reaction.

“This has to be a dream… I’m some dimensional warrior of light or something?” Pinkie asked herself.

“I know it’s alot to swallow, but I assure you, it’s true,” Tesla said calmingly.

“This has to be a lie, first Twilight get’s kidnapped, then I get hurt, then I get put in the body of a small robot, and now this? I’m dreaming, it’s official,” Spike said.

“WILL YOU LISTEN!” Tesla said, startling them “Look, sorry to lose my cool, but you are most certainly what I say you are, I can see the light from within you,” Tesla said.

“The light?” Pinkie asked.

“The power of creation, opposing this Doomsayer’s power of destruction, darkness,” Tesla said “I too possess it, although I use my talents more for support and gadgetry,” Tesla said.

“What does this power include?” Pinkie asked.

“Many things, a sixth sense for incoming danger, impeccable memory even if you just met someone, and the ability to see and interact with, them,” Tesla pointed at the reader.

“...Waitaminute, you can see them too?!” Pinkie exclaimed looking at the reader as well.

“We all can, its the power of the light in us, I mostly ignore them though, I like to think I don’t have thousands of eyes watching my every move every waking moment of my life,” Tesla rolled his eyes at the end.

“...Wow… but… I don’t want to be a dimension traveler,” Pinkie said.

“I understand, the real reason I’m telling you now, is that there is a grave evil encroaching upon this realm,” Tesla said looking serious.

“Grave evil?” Pinkie questioned.

“The Darkness grows impatient, it is planning to do something, what, I don’t know. But whatever it is, it’s not good, it has chosen a Doomsayer, a particularly different one,” Tesla said.

“A what?” Spike asked.

“A being granted their power by darkness, chosen by it to enforce its will, the antithesis of us basically, something is different this time… this one isn’t causing random mayhem, it’s more focused,” Tesla said.

“And I have to stop this guy?” Pinkie asked.

“Yes, and I’ll help,” Tesla said.

“How?” Spike asked.

“I’ll provide the gadgets, the info, and the coordinates, I’ll also help in other ways,” Tesla said.

“How can I help?” Spike asked.

“You have a variety of features, you can create holographic images, record audio, you're almost indestructible, you can fire bullets out of the hole on your mouth, just don’t waste ammo, and you can fly,” Tesla said.

“...And?” Spike asked for more.

“And you're attached to a hacking database, made by yours truly, and you can look things up on the internet, you can scan important things, and act as a pathfinder,” Tesla said.

“....What else?” Spike asked.

“...That’s about it,” Tesla said.

“...I can’t even turn into a super mech or something?!” Spike said.

“Well pardon me, if I made this robot on a time crunch, I only had two hours, before you expired, I narrowly saved you,” Tesla said with a frown.

“I guess,” Spike nodded.

“And the modifications to me?” Pinkie asked.

“Can be undone, just like me putting his soul back, but that comes after we save the world,” Tesla said.

“Gotcha,” Pinkie said looking hesitant.

“You're unsure?” Tesla asked.

“It’s just… I’ve never really… fought before, like actually defeating someone,” Pinkie said.

“Defeating isn’t enough, you need to kill them,” Tesla said.

“What?!” Pinkie said.

“I know it’ll be hard for you, but war is never without bloodshed, I would know…” Tesla said looking down “These villains this Doomsayer has gathered have been granted multiple powers each by darkness, the only way to cleanse the darkness is with a weapon of light,” Tesla said.

“A weapon of light?” Pinkie said before shaking her head “No! I’m not a killer!” Pinkie said.

“Would you rather they run rampant, destroying everything, and your friends be killed?” Tesla said, knowing he was giving her the hard truth.

“My friends…” Pinkie said remembering they were kidnapped.

“Are they still alive?” Spike hoped.

“Undoubtedly, sacrifices like them are saved for the ‘Day of Darkness’ ritual,” Tesla said.

“The what?” Pinkie asked.

“A day that comes once every thousand years, which based on the distance between the sun and moon in this world, is in a few days, and it is through this day, sacrifices are made to the darkness, to empower it,” Tesla said.

“Wow… this… is a lot to take in,” Pinkie said.

“Yes, and I imagine we’ll have much prep to do,” Tesla said.

“If what you said is true, we’re going to need to head out ASAP,” Spike said.

“And rush headlong into danger ill-prepared? Not happening, we’re training first,” Tesla said.

“But my friends need me NOW,” Pinkie said standing up.

“Yes, and they need you prepared, don’t worry, I have the means to speedrun our training,” Tesla said.

“How?” Pinkie asked.

“Come with me,” Tesla said as he got up and walked away, Pinkie following him.

As they made their way through the ship, a computer they walked past turned on and a face appeared on it.

“Hello, Pinkie Pie,” The face said cheerfully.

“AAAH! Who’s that?” Pinkie asked.

“That’s Carrie, she’s my automated ship A.I, and assistant,” Tesla said as they continued walking.

“Wooow,” Pinkie said as she saw the multiple screens light up with her face.

“Yep! I am Carrie!” Carrie said.

“What’s the acronym for that?” Spike asked.

“It is Cybernetic Autonomous Reconnaissance and Response Intelligence Engine,” Carrie said.

“Wow,” Spike said liking that word setup.

“Alright, here we are,” Tesla said as they entered a hanger and he pointed to a giant sphere in the middle of the room.

“Wooooow… what is it?” Pinkie said.

“Another realm calls it, a Hyperbolic Time Chamber, a place where you can train for a week and only waste a single day on the outside, this is one I made,” Tesla said.

“How long did it take?” Spike asked.

“A few months if I’m being honest, even for super geniuses, making one isn’t easy,” Tesla said.

“A few months?! A regular person would spend their life on this,” Spike said.

“Eh, guess I’m not a regular person,” Tesla snarked before leading them in.

As they entered they could see it was a giant white void, surrounding a large apartment-sized room.

“Whoa,” Pinkie said.

“Already, Carrie has activated the chambers time altering effects, it’ll seem like only seconds have passed if we exit now,” Tesla said proudly.

“And we’re going to train here?” Pinkie asked.

“Correct, I need to awaken your warrior of light instinct, and with the enhancements i’ve made, you should be good to train, for a week,” Tesla said.

“A week?! My friends need me now!” Pinkie said.

“And again, they have a few days, and we’ll only waste one in here,” Tesla said.

“Oh… yeah, you did say that,” Pinkie said.

“But what are we going to do about weapons, Pinkie’s not super familiar with them,” Spike asked.

“I have a selection,” Tesla said pressing a button on his wristwatch and suddenly the door opened up and they turned to see several boxes enter.

“I have four boxes to choose from, I want you to choose one,” Tesla said.

“Oooh! I like this game,” Pinkie said.

“What’s in them?” Spike asked.

“Not telling, the warrior of light’s instincts have to guide her to her destined weapon,” Tesla said.

“Ok…” Pinkie walked over and made a show of looking at each box carefully, she watched them, stared, smelled and even tasted the boxes.

“Umm…” Tesla said confusedly.

“I want number four,” Pinkie said.

“Final answer?” Tesla asked.

“Yeppers!” Pinkie said.

“Ok,” Tesla pressed his wristwatch and the box opened revealing a…. Chainsaw?

“A chainsaw?” Pinkie and Spike asked, looking at the large red chainsaw.

“A methodical choice, this is the TRX Chainblade Saw 1006, I made and named it,” Tesla said proudly.

“...Could I have a sword instead?” Pinkie asked.

“Sorry, but your instincts guided you to it, it must be your destined weapon,” Tesla said.

“But I…” Pinkie didn’t want to admit it, but she felt a strange… synergy with it… “Ok…”

Pinkie picked it up and it was heavy, but after some adjustment, it was almost like an extension of herself.

“Alright, now let’s get to work, the TRX-”

“I’ll just call it, The Pinkie Promise,” Pinkie said.

“The Pinkie Promise? Why?” Tesla said.

“Your way is too long, and it will symbolize my promise to save my friends,” Pinkie said.

“Fair enough, alright, when using it, it has many attachments, indestructible blades, limitless fuel from a mystical source, powerful cutting potential, undamageable carapace, and most importantly, a hidden gun that shoots powerful rounds,” Tesla said.

“Wow… this thing is awesome!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“It is,” Tesla said as he sent the other boxes away and had Pinkie follow him out into the void.

“Alright, now, let’s train,” Tesla said as he pulled a blade out of his pocket and a lazer blade formed.

“Whoa-” Pinkie said before she was taken aback as he zoomed up to her quickly and she narrowly raised her chainsaw in defense as he clashed with her.

“WHOA! I wasn’t ready!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Would the Doomsayer or his minions care? Always be ready!” Tesla said as he rapidly swung at Pinkie who hurriedly deflected them.

As they fought, Pinkie felt strange, while wielding her weapon, like this was her new comfort zone, even more than eating a mega triple chocolate banana split, she felt a muscle memory she didn’t remember having.

Pinkie did a flip to avoid a swing and she landed.

“Whoa…” Pinkie said shaking her head “What is happening?” Pinkie said.

“Your instincts have always existed, but this is the first time they're being properly applied,” Tesla said as he darted forward and delivered several attacks which Pinkie avoided and she swung at him but Tesla dodged and swept her feet from under her.

“You are learning quick, but you need to stay connected with your instincts, At. All. Times, otherwise you’ll be killed,” Tesla said.

“Gotcha,” Pinkie said before running at him and doing several flips, curtesy of her cheerleader training, and she did a spinning swing for Tesla who leaned back avoiding the swing.

He then swung his fist and he struck Pinkie down.

“OW!” Pinkie cried.

“You need to listen, your inner sense is still weak, but with a week of thorough training, we’ll make it strong as iron,” Tesla said.

“Alright,” Pinkie said getting up and she ran forward to attack.

Day one:

Pinkie fell to a knee panting.

“Again!” Tesla said.

“I can’t…” Pinkie said.

“With that attitude, the darkness will claim this world for sure, stand!” Tesla said.

“Grr!” Pinkie stood and continued fighting him.

Day two:

Pinkie was sent tumbling.

“Again!” Tesla said.

“No… I can’t…” Pinkie whimpered from the pain.

“...Then your friends are doomed,” Tesla said.

“Hey man, lay off her,” Spike scolded but Pinkie managed to stand and she stared defiantly.

“My friends… are NOT doomed!” Pinkie shouted and she ran at Tesla again.

Day three:

“Again!” Tesla said as Pinkie was training her gun use, she was shooting moving targets out of the air.

“Chainsaw blaster time!” Pinkie said as she shot several down, but other evaded.

“I want you to try until all targets are struck in a row,” Tesla said.

“O-ok,” Pinkie panted.

Day four:

Pinkie exercised and trained.

She found that by integrating her cheerleader training with her combat training she found her skill skyrocketed.

“Good, good, you're getting it,” Tesla said shooting at her with a harmless laser gun, no more painful than a beesting.

Pinkie flipped over several shots.

“I have to train… for my friends!” Pinkie said.

Meanwhile, Spike was camped by the training grounds, he decided if he couldn’t help physically he could help by mastering his mechanical body.

So he scoured the internet and his own software to improve his use of his body.

Day five:

Pinkie clashed with several blocks of a durable substance for the hundredth time.

“That Ultralite is one of the most durable substances I know of, you have to slash it in half,” Tesla said.

“I…Can…. DO IT!” Pinkie yelled before she managed to slash it in half.

“Whoa…” He didn’t expect her to pull it off… that quickly at least “She really is amazing,” Tesla said with a smile.

Day six:

Pinkie Pie panted, gripping The Pinkie Promise tightly. Sweat dripped down her forehead as Tesla loomed over her, his piercing gaze filled with expectation. The once playful and enthusiastic mare was now scowling, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. This wasn’t training—it was torture. Every time she thought she had a moment to breathe, Tesla pushed her harder, demanding more, more, more.

“Again,” Tesla ordered coldly.

Pinkie’s hands tightened around the chainsaw’s grip. “Are you serious?! I’ve been at this for hours! I can’t even feel my arms anymore!”

“Good,” Tesla replied, unmoved. “Because in a real fight, the Darkness won’t care if you’re tired.”

Pinkie gritted her teeth, lifting The Pinkie Promise again. She swung, but her arms trembled, and Tesla easily sidestepped, countering with a precise strike that sent her crashing to the ground.

“That all you got?” His voice was steel, his expression unreadable.

Something in Pinkie snapped. “Oh, COME ON! I get it—training is supposed to be hard, but this?! This is insane! You just want to see me fail!”

Tesla’s breath hitched. His expression faltered for the first time. He stepped back, his hands balling into fists.

Pinkie, still on the ground, noticed. Her anger simmered into confusion. “Wait… Tesla?”

For a long moment, he said nothing. The tension thickened, the weight of unspoken words pressing down on both of them. Finally, Tesla exhaled sharply, turning away.

“I’ve seen too many of my students die,” he admitted, voice tight. “I trained them, just like I’m training you. I pushed them, harder than you. And it wasn’t enough. The Darkness tore through them like they were nothing. Their homes—destroyed. Their families—gone.” His hands trembled. “I stood there, helpless, watching it happen.”

Pinkie felt her throat tighten. She sat up slowly, gripping her chainsaw. “Tesla…”

He turned back to her, eyes stormy with emotion. “That’s why I’m hard on you, Pinkie. Because if I go easy, if I let you slack—then I might as well be digging your grave.” His voice cracked. “And I can’t watch another student die.”

The air grew still. Pinkie swallowed hard, her frustration fading into understanding.

Then, she grinned. A soft, warm grin that took Tesla by surprise. She pushed herself up, dusting off her torn training clothes. “You know, you could’ve just said you cared.”

Tesla blinked, caught off guard. “What?”

Pinkie stepped closer, nudging him with her elbow. “You care about me. That’s sweet.”

Tesla scoffed, looking away, but the redness creeping up his face betrayed him. “That’s not what I—”

Pinkie placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. “Tesla… I promise I won’t die. I’ll fight with everything I have. Because you believe in me.” Her voice was softer now, sincere. “And because I believe in you too.”

Tesla met her gaze, something in his chest tightening. Her words—simple, yet powerful—were enough to shake the walls he had built around himself.

Pinkie winked. “Besides, you’d totally miss me if I was gone.”

Tesla let out a small chuckle. “Yeah. I would.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened slightly before her usual mischievous grin returned. “Whoa, Tesla, was that flirting? You better be careful, or I might think you actually like me.”

Tesla rolled his eyes. “Get back to training.”

Pinkie smirked. “Aww, come on, you’re blushing.”

Tesla groaned, rubbing his temples. “Pinkie Pie—”

Before he could finish, his hand accidentally brushed against one of Pinkie's breasts.

Silence.

Tesla froze, his eyes slowly widening in horror.

Pinkie, on the other hand, stared at him with a devilish smirk. “Well, well, well… Tesla,” she sang, leaning closer. “Shouldn’t we date first?” Pinkie snarked.

Tesla’s face turned an alarming shade of red. “I— That was— I didn’t mean to—”

Before he could even stammer out a defense, a small, floating dragon-like orb drifted into the room.

Spike blinked, his mechanical eye scanning the awkward scene before him and he saw Tesla’s flustered expression.

Without missing a beat, Spike turned right around and floated away. “Nope. Not getting involved.”

Tesla whirled around. “Spike—!”

Pinkie let out a dramatic sigh. “Man, I was expecting you to get punched across the room, Tesla. You got off easy.”

Spike paused mid-flight. “Wait… You didn’t go berserk on him?”

Pinkie tapped her chin in thought. Then, with the most teasing grin imaginable, she whispered, “Oh… not yet.”

Tesla groaned loudly. “Can we please get back to training?”

Pinkie giggled. “Sure, sure. But hey, Tesla?”

“What now?” he grumbled.

Pinkie winked. “If you wanted to touch me again, you could just—”

Tesla turned around and flicked her forehead.

Pinkie yelped, rubbing the spot. “Ow! Hey!”

Tesla smirked for the first time that day. “If I wanted to, huh?” He turned and walked away, leaving Pinkie standing there, mouth slightly agape.

Pinkie crossed her arms, grinning. “Ohhh, I see how it is. You’re finally playing my game, Tesla.”

Spike’s robotic eye flashed as he floated by. “This is either going to be a disaster… or the best thing ever.”

Pinkie just giggled.

Day seven:

Pinkie clashed with Tesla, she deflected two swings and swung for his legs.

Tesla jumped and used his wings to dive down at her with a downward slash, Pinkie rolled to the side and got her stance ready and she jumped at him, swinging downward.

Tesla’s sense warned him and he spun and raised his blade and she clashed with him.

“RRRGH!” Pinkie growled as she pushed it.

“Ngh!” Tesla said as he fell to a knee.

“GGGGGRRRRAAAAH!” Pinkie yelled and her hair suddenly went straight and her chainsaw lit on fire.

“Huh?!” Tesla said in surprise before he saw his sword was cracking.

“I yield!” Tesla said and that seemed to snap Pinkie out of it and her hair puffed up again and she stopped and allowed him to push her off of him.

“S-sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” Pinkie apologized.

“Neither do I… but I gotta admit, you’ve improved immensely, I was actually worried I was going to be cleaved in half for a moment there,” Tesla chuckled.

“Does this mean I am ready?” Pinkie asked.

“Yes, I’d say you pass, be careful though, that other side you showed… it almost seemed… Evil,” Tesla warned Pinkie.

“Gotcha Chief, now, let’s get moving,” Pinkie said as they moved towards the exit, as they exited, Pinkie noticed Spike seemed to be in better spirits “You alright Spike?” Pinkie asked.

“Yeah, I found alot of useful info, I feel like I can be helpful after all,” Spike said.

“Good to hear,” Tesla said as they walked to a window and Pinkie saw something that made her gasp.

There were fires, destroyed buildings, and the sorts.

“What happened?” Pinkie asked.

“It seems they got a headstart… we need to move, now that you're ready, we can take them on,” Tesla said.

“Ok,” Pinkie said sounding ready.

“We need to track them down, destroy them, and capture the Doomsayer,” Tesla said.

“Why capture?” Spike asked.

“If I can sever his link to the darkness, I can end this before it begins,” Tesla reasoned.

“Ok,” Pinkie said and she got ready to move.

“Carrie, beam us down,” Tesla said.

“Ok, bossman!” Carrie said and they found themselves on a ruined street.

“Alright, now that we’re here, I need to allocate possible darkness vestiges,” Tesla said.

“What?” Spike asked.

“Minions of the Doomsayer and his generals,” Tesla said.

“Gotcha,” Spike said.

As Tesla checked his watch, he saw dark resonance in multiple corners of the city. The one they were closest to was in a junkyard nearby.

“Ok, let’s get moving,” Tesla said and they ran on.

“I’m coming everybody!” Pinkie shouted.