My New Life In Equestria

by MaxBeezy

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Romance, Comedy, Adventure, Main 6
Length: 107044

An ordinary human is transported to Equestria. Hilarity ensues. Sort of.

Matthew Williams, a citizen of New York City, leads a pretty good life, an alright job, a nice place. Sure, he has dreams and aspirations like the normal humans of the earth, but he was rather content at the moment. That all changes, when six ponies drop right on his head, and soon finds himself in a variety of situations that will spin his life in all different directions.

Rated PG-13 for Language, Violence, Mild Crude Humor, and Some Sexual Content.

Published 2012-10-17 14:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-22 07:11:28 UTC

The Adventure Begins [Extended Cut]

It’s a funny thing, life. No matter how hard you try, you cannot seem to shape your own destiny. Take me for example. I was Matthew Williams, a young sales rep for a video game store. It wasn't a fantastic job, as I sometimes got the disgruntled, entitled gamer that thought I ripped them off by letting them buy Call of Duty #556, and it turning out to be the same as the other 555 games that came before it, but it was nothing I couldn't handle after some experience over the years.

I never wanted that career, though. Truthfully, I always wanted to be something else, not the stereotypical Doctor or Lawyer that some parents always wanted their kids to be, but more like someone in the film business. Writer, Director, Actor, name any big career in the industry, chances are I would've liked to have been a part of it. Maybe not body double, I don’t think anyone would have wanted to see me buck ass nude. I spent four years at a film school, packed to the brim with those snobbish, holier than thou students, that think their turds don’t stink. You know the kinds; the ones that think the latest Hollywood event film is the work of the Devil, while the latest pretentious sense lacking art film was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

No matter how hard I tried getting in, it didn't seem to pan out for me. However, somehow, my ability to verbally stimulate the people I’m talking to, got me a job as a salesman, and I’ve been doing it for the past four years. I made money, good money, enough to move out of the house, and live in a decent apartment complex in New York City, with pleasant neighbors and a quiet atmosphere. I still send out query letters here and there, but hopes were all but slim at this point in time.

As you might have noticed, I have found the time to write now. Why? Well, it all started a couple months ago, when I met a group of unexpected guests.

It was a cold night in Central Park. I always liked to walk around when I was upset about something. This something was a bad day at the store, where my boss railed me about quotas being down. It was a bunch of mathematical garbage that I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested in, but it was enough to get me in a sour mood. I wish I could have just walked in, and quit the next day, and continued my dream of being a Hollywood big shot, but the money was keeping me nice and afloat. So, I just sighed to myself, and went on a walk.

I was ready to turn back and head for my apartment, when the sky became unusually cloudy. The winds were picking up, enough for me to struggle to keep my footing. Thunder and lightning flashed through the sky, I was scared. Above me, the sky opened, like it was a portal to another dimension. My mouth was agape, this is the kind of thing one would see in movies or comic books, but there I was, standing underneath a portal to some kind of alternate universe.

On retrospect, I probably should have moved to the side a little bit.

Six dark figures fell out of the portal, right on top of me. It hurt like hell, and I wasn’t too pleased having my bad day end with me getting crushed. If I was going to die like this, it would have been my least preferred method of death. Now, getting run over by an out of control semi-truck, driven by the incredible Hulk? That would be awesome.

“Ouch! What in the hay just happened?!” one said. The voice was definitely female, with a strong, yet comprehensible southern accent.

“I’m sorry!” another said. “That spell was stronger than I thought!”

“Well, now look what you did, darling! You transported us to Manehattan!”

“Manehattan? What the…?” I thought.

Then, they all started talking at once. The first thing I noticed was that everyone on top of me was female, since every voice above me had a feminine tone to it. The second was that they were heavy, and that I thought their shoes were so hard, that it felt like I was being assaulted by hooves.

“GET OFF OF ME!” I yelled. As much as the next guy would have been ecstatic to have been dog piled by a bunch of women, I’m not that guy.

It went quiet quick.

“Oh my gosh, are we on somepony?”

Somepony? That was something I never heard in my life.

I felt the bodies sliding off of me, and was finally able to breathe normally.

“I’m so sorry I---“

Her voice stopped, followed by all six voices screeching with terror. It was grating to hear. I put my hands to my ears to muffle the sounds.

“AHHH! What’s with the screaming?!”

I stand up, and look at my body. It looked fine. No immediate injuries or broken bones sticking out of me, though I was sure I would wake up with some nasty bruises the next day. I look straight to talk to these screeching women, when I found myself staring directly at six four foot tall ponies, of various colors, screaming at me. On instinct of seeing things not normal, I screamed too. The screaming seemed to go on forever, to the point where I almost fainted.

Before I could, though, I was suddenly struck in the face by the back hooves of one of the ponies, who was wearing a cowboy hat. I hit the ground harder than a sack of potatoes.

“Applejack!” I heard one say, as I fought to remain conscious. “Why did you do that?”

“He was screaming! I had ta shut him up!” she said in that southern drawl I heard earlier.

“So were we!”

“Well, one of us had ta stop!”

As I opened my eyes, I saw them all looking down on me, with worried eyes. They might have been frightened of me not five seconds ago, but now they looked at me like they just killed me. A collection of words came out of my mouth, none formed a comprehensible sentence. The ponies looked at me, confused. Finally, I was able to say….

“What the hell are you?!”

Not exactly the best choice of words.

“I could ask you the same thing!” the lavender colored one said, “There’s nothing in the books that talk about creatures like you!”

“I’m not sure what kind of books you’ve been reading, but I have plenty!”

I sit up, rubbing my head, as I look at all the ponies that surround me. There’s a white one, a yellow one, a pink one, a lavender one, the aforementioned orange one, and a blue one with a rainbow mane and tail. They all looked as if they stepped out of a computer, bright and colorful, with a two dimensional flair to them, but definitely three dimensional when one would look around to inspect them.

The pink one hops close to me. She leans towards me, meeting me eye to eye. She began to circle around me, looking at every inch of me. She was so close; I smelled the aroma of cotton candy from her hair. I was suddenly in the mood for cotton candy at that point.

“Well, I’m stumped.” she said, hopping back to the group.

“Wherever we are, one thing’s for certain. We’re not in Equestria anymore.” the lavender one said.

“Come on. Let’s go find a place to sleep. It’s dreadful out here.” said the white colored one.

“S-sorry for falling on you.” a particularly shy pony said.

I watched as they started to walk away, when, against my better judgment, I said something that changed the course of my life forever.

“Wait!”

They all looked at me at the same time with great curiosity. Even in my confused state, I found that kind of cute.

“I live in an apartment just a couple blocks from here. You…” I paused. I could have turned back at the last minute, but somehow…I just couldn’t. I sighed before continuing my request. “You can stay with me if you like.”

They kept looking at me, blinking every once in awhile.

“Are you sure?” Lavender said. Since she talked the most, I was certain that she was the leader of the group.

“Yeah, it’s fine. There’s plenty of room, and it’s nice and warm.”

If you asked me then, I wouldn’t have any idea what to tell you about why I took them in. I realized later on, that deep down, I felt like I had an obligation to take care of them. Who knows what would have happened if I left them out there in the world? New York isn’t exactly Disneyland, and they could have gotten into all sorts of trouble with some of the locals. I didn’t want to think about it.

After a short while of the six conversing, they agreed to come with me.

The journey to my apartment wasn’t all that eventful. Being so late at night, the amount of civilians in my neighborhood was slim. It wasn’t all clear passage, though. Some homeless people freaked out, scaring a couple of the ponies, but I escorted them away from the babbling kooks.

Soon, we made it to my apartment complex. The ponies marveled about how tall it was.

“Wow, this place sure does remind me of Manehattan, back in Equestria.” said the southern one, “Almost a perfect match, just like ya said!”

I raised my eyebrow. That name again. “I’m sorry…Manehattan?”

She smiled at me. “Yes sir! We also call it The Big Apple!”

“What a coincidence. We call it The Big Apple too!” I said with a smirk.

“Really?!” she said, excitedly, “I think I like this place already!”

I walked into the lobby, making the ponies wait outside. I didn’t want to give the man at the front desk a heart attack just yet.

“Hello, Mr. Williams!” He said. It may have been a middle class apartment, but this guy treated his tenants like high class superstars.

“Hey Bob. I have a question; do you still allow pets in here?”

“Of course! As long as they are quiet, there won’t be any problems.”

“Okay. Just letting you know, they aren’t normal pets. So…don’t freak out.”

“Why? Are they tigers or something?” he joked.

I called the girls in. Bob’s mouth opens wide as the six of them were revealed to him. They all greeted him with a great deal of proper etiquette and respectfulness.

“Is that…”

“Yes, they’re colorful talking ponies.”

“That’s….”

“I know. Crazy right? They’re only going to be here for a little bit, but….Bob?” He was not paying attention to me in the slightest. I pointed his direction back to me. “Bob, I need you to listen.” I said sternly, “Under no circumstances, do you tell ANYONE about this, okay?”

“No offense Mr. Williams, but that’s going to be hard to hide.”

He had a point. What if they wanted to go outside? I couldn’t just leave them shacked up for however long. “Just…for the time being. Okay?” I replied.

Bob looked at me, and then back at the still smiling ponies, then back at me. He nodded in compliance.

I walked to the elevator, where all six were waiting. I realized that the elevator wouldn’t move when I was inside, weight limit and all. So, I took the stairs up.

When I got to the sixth floor, the ponies were freaking out about the elevator. They told me that elevators were a rarity where they came from. Only the big cities of their world had elevators, while their small town was more inclined to use stairs.

The moment I unlocked the door to my apartment, the ponies came rushing in, pushing past me to get inside. They reveled in the warmness that it was producing. Most laid down on the couches, the pink one ran into my room, and started jumping on the bed excitedly, and the lavender one started searching through my shelf full of books.

“Hey!” I said. They all looked at me simultaneously. Second time they did that, and I don’t think I would ever get sick of it. “It’s really late. We can’t have any noise at this time, okay? I have plenty of blankets if anyone wants some, there’s a shower in the bathroom, and some food in the fridge. Are there any questions?”

The shy one raised her hoof. “What’s a shower?”

I paused. They don’t know what showers are? Surly they have baths where they came from. How else could they look so clean, and smell of plants, fruits, and candy?

“Goodnight.” I turned to walk away, when a realization dawned on me. I had no freaking clue what any of them were called! I turned back in a hurried pace.

“I’m sorry. Names! I forgot about names! I’m Matt. And you are..?”

The lavender one went first. “I’m Twilight Sparkle.” The only thought that raced through my head was those godawful books. It took my all not to bring it up to her. Seriously, it was bad enough hearing Twilight, but Sparkle? As in Sparkling Vampires? I bet if anyone else heard that name, they would think of the exact same thing. I couldn't have been alone in this.

The rest were less troubling. The pink one called herself Pinkie Pie, the southern one was called Applejack, the white one Rarity, the rainbow haired one Rainbow Dash, and finally….

“I’m Fluttershy…..” said the yellow one.

My reaction was as expected. “What?”

She replied again, but when it got to her name, she still trailed off. Only after a bit, did Twilight tell me her full name. Fluttershy. Somehow, it fit well. I couldn’t imagine the reason why.

When introductions were done, I went straight to getting ready for bed. After giving my new house guests some blankets, and getting Pinkie Pie off my bed, of course. I watched them all gather in my living room, circling around to find a comfortable spot, and fall right to sleep. With the craziness of the night behind me, I also went to bed, and dozed off rather quickly.

Considering that there were now six ponies in my place, I slept rather well that night. Waking up however, was a different story entirely. It was 8:30 in the morning, and I felt a heavy weight on my chest. I opened my eyes to see Twilight’s forelegs on me, laying on the bed, and staring right at me. Naturally, I jumped back, hitting my head on the wall hard.

“AH! JESUS!” I shouted.

“No, it’s Twilight. Who’s Jesus?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but whatever was going to come out would have been futile. I closed it back up.

“Nevermind.” I said, “What’s going on?”

“Take me to your library.” she demanded, standing up on all fours, “The books you have aren’t what I want.”

Though I understood that books about a thousand video games to play before death, and girls with tattoos of dragons on their backs wouldn’t exactly open up portals, I thought of what I said to Bob last night.

“I don’t think libraries allow animals into their facility.” I said, trying to get her to stay in the apartment, “What books do you need? I’ll go get them for you.”

Twilight sat down on the bed like a dog. It was kind of adorable.

“Well, I need Equestria’s Guide to Magic, The Big Book of Unicorn Spells, Dimensional Portals and You….”

I stopped her before she could go on. “Forget it.” I said, “You’re coming with me.”

She happily jumped off the bed. “Great! Let’s go!”

The other Ponies were still asleep. I felt a little guilty about my slight yell earlier, but they didn’t seem to hear me.

Walking along the sidewalk with Twilight was one of the stranger experiences I have had during the course of my existence. Everyone did a double take at her, took pictures with their camera phones, and even managed to stop traffic, with a few dented bumpers in the process. Nothing all that serious, depending on the car. Twilight looked at all of their faces, and turned back to me.

“What are they looking at me like that for?”

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. She knew what I meant, and hung her head down.

“Oh…right…”

The walk was pretty silent, mostly looking at the pedestrians looking at us. and children attempting to run up to her for some petting, but their parents dragging them away. I decided to break the ice.

“So…” I started off with, “How did you get here?”

“Well, I wanted to prove to Spike, that travel between locations was possible.”

“Spike?” I asked.

“He’s my dragon assistant.” I put a note in my head to ask about that later. Right now, an explanation about her arrival was more important. “Anyway, my plan was to go from Ponyville to Applewood within seconds, with a magical portal, while using more than one pony to do so. The spell worked, but we were sucked in, and we ended up here.”

“Do you remember the spell that brought you here?”

“Of course. But it takes a lot of magic, and I’m currently spent right now. It’ll be a while before I can make a spell like that again.”

“Then, why do you need books about portals and stuff?”

“To be sure if when I try the spell again, we will go back to our world, and not in some dangerous alien dimension.”

“I don’t know, you’re in a pretty dangerous alien dimension, right now.” I joked.

“You seem alright to me.” she said with a grin.

We made it to the library. The moment we walked in, we were stopped by security. He looked at Twilight with the same kind of reaction as everyone else, and then looked back to me.

“You cannot bring animals in here! Your horse stays outside.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Sir.” Twilight said innocently. The Guard practically had a heart attack when she spoke. “We’ll only be inside for a few moments. I won’t be any trouble. I’m very careful with things, and I promise I won’t make a mess.”

The Guard didn’t say anything. I’m sure whatever was going to come out of his mouth would be a series of expletives, followed by death. Surprisingly, Twilight’s plea worked, and he let us in.

I watched as Twilight trotted through the library, looking at book after book that would even vaguely have what she would be looking for. The other guests inside looked at her, in either sheer terror or wide eyed curiosity. Whenever they would look at me, I would simply shrug my shoulders, behaving like this was a normal occurrence in my daily life.

The lavender colored bookworm became increasingly irritated after each book proving to be unfruitful with information. Hours have passed, and we barely cut through half the massive library. After more of sitting around, checking the internet as I left Twilight to do her thing, I got bored, as she got more impatient. By the time she read the last book that would give a possible answer, she threw it up in the air, angrily sighing. This was met by the nearby librarian shushing loudly, silencing the upset pony. Twilight sat on the floor, looking down.

While I would normally not want to pry into an upset person…in this case pony’s business, since she was under my care, I had to know if she was alright.

“Hey…” I said in a caring tone of voice, “What’s the matter?”

“None of your books have what I’m looking for.” She silently says, disappointment filling her voice. “All I can find in this place that remotely relates to magic are seven books about an unnaturally hairy gardener!”

“Well, you don’t need the books anyway. Just use the spell when you’re ready.”

“But what if I mess up? What if I do the spell, and we’re launched into some other weird alternate dimension? No offense.”

“I don’t know. Maybe we’re the only two dimensions that exist, and you’ll just go back to your own world.”

“Ha!” Twilight laughs, “Only two dimensions…you’re funny.”

“I’m just trying to remain optimistic, Twilight.” I told her, “Besides, you never know.” I look back at all the people still staring at us; a large crowd has formed around us, nearly blocking our exit from the library. “I think we should go back to the apartment. I’m getting a little uncomfortable here.”

She sees what I am looking at, and soon agrees.

When we leave the library, a massive army of citizens, police, and animal control officers are standing in the front, ready to take Twilight away. The Police Captain, one of those gruff 'Take No Prisoners' type with a scraggly beard, pulls out a megaphone, shouting it like one would expect a person of his type would.

"Okay! This is the New York City police! That thing is an potentially dangerous extraterrestrial! We must bring it in for study!"

"Hey! I am NOT an extraterrestrial!"

"We're talking about the girl pony thing next to you, son. Not you."

"Oh. Well..." I put a hand on her shoulder, "You can't have her! She's just trying to get back home!"

"We've lost him! She has taken over his mind!" one random scientist yells out.

"The hell are you talking about?!" I scream back, "Do I look like I've been brainwashed?"

"Don't listen to him! He's trying to fool us!"

"The hell with this." I grab Twilight, and like a peterbilt truck, I ram through the crowd of people, clearing a path to get home. I hear the sirens blaring, and people running. I continue to hold onto Twilight's hoof; looking at her, she had a expression of fright. "It's okay Twilight! Just a couple more blocks!"

"We'll never make it!"

"Of course we will!"

"No! They'll find out where you live, and will storm the place! Then we'll never find a way home!"

"What do you suggest we do?"

"Hold me."

"Now's not the time to get all sappy, Twi!"

"No, hold me!"

I screech to the halt, kneel down, and hold onto her for dear life. Suddenly, all I could see is a bright flash of light.

POOF! With another flash, I open my eyes to see that we are back in the lobby of my apartment, Bob had a look of great shock and awe on his face. He never looked at me like that before, the poor guy. I'm surprised he has managed to keep it together, and not ratted me out to the police. He really was a nice guy.

"Hey Bob."

"Mr. Williams." he glances up at the floor where my room is.

“What’s the matter?”

“It appears your…friends…made a few orders while you were away.”

“What kind of orders?”

“Lots of fruits and vegetables.” I open my mouth to speak, but he stopped me before I could, "Don't worry. I signed for the order myself. He didn't see them."

"You didn't pay for it, did you?"

"No, your friends had a good bit of money on them."

"Money?" Twilight wonders, "But we use bits."

I looked over at Twilight, and we went up the stairs to my room. Upon entering, I saw the five ponies we left, making all kinds of food for the vegetarian lovers. Salads, meatless sandwiches, even pita rolls. Pinkie Pie was at the oven, baking what looked to be a cake, while Applejack was preparing an apple pie. This would all be very impressive, but…

“Where did you get the money for this?” I asked.

They all looked at me, surprised at Twilight and I’s arrival.

“You’re back!” Pinkie said happily, “Just in time too, we were about to make dessert!”

“You didn’t answer my question.” I said, more sternly.

“Oh…well you see…” Rarity said, “We didn’t have any bits on us, but we did find a box under your bed that had more than enough.”

My eyes go nearly bloodshot, as I know exactly what they were talking about. Instead of responding to them, I ran to my room, to find the box they mentioned. There it was...on the bed...opened up. I counted whatever was left; they took over a quarter of what was in it.

I walk back out, looking at everypony with disdain.

“You took my money without permission!”

“Don’t worry yourself darling, it was only a little bit.” Rarity tried to assure me. It wasn’t working.

“A little bit? I’ve been saving this money for something very important, for the past few years, and you just took eight months’ worth right out in seconds! Didn’t any of you read the note at the top?!”

I flipped the top of the box to them to see the note. ‘Don’t touch’

“Why do you have a note, when nopony else lives here?” Rainbow Dash inquired.

“Well…I…” That was a good question. “I wasn’t planning on being alone all my life…” I quietly said, “But that’s not the point! If you wanted some money, you could have just asked, and even then, I wouldn’t have given you THIS!”

“You weren’t here, so we had no choice!” Rainbow Dash continued.

“GOD…!!!” I stopped what I was about to say.

Eventually, I stormed back into my room, slamming the door shut before any of them could react to my temper tantrum. I slumped into my bed, looking up at the ceiling. Carefully, I put the box back under my bed, before running my hands through my hair in frustration. Seconds pass, and I heard the door open, and hoofsteps coming into the room. I continued to look at the ceiling, not paying much mind to whoever has trotted in.

“Ya alright, surgarcube?” I heard Applejack ask.

“I will be…eventually.” I replied, still not looking.

“May I ask what all the money was for?”

“You’ll probably laugh at me.”

“I wouldn’t do that. I promise.”

“It…” I sighed, “It was for a trip.”

“What kind of trip?”

“A trip to…everywhere, actually. I always wanted to see the world, and I was saving all that money to do so. Now I can only go as far as China…if I’m lucky.” I chuckled.

“I’m sorry we did that. I read the sign. I told them not to touch it, but…”

“Don’t worry about it. What’s done is done. I just needed some time to calm down, before I’d say things I would have regretted.”

“I’ve been there. Mah sister can sometimes be a real pain, down at the farm, but sometimes, I say things I shouldn’t have said. I feel terrible when I do. But, I’ve learned to keep calm and level headed.”

“You work at a farm?” I asked.

“Yep. Sweet Apple Acres is the name. We have the finest darn apples in Equestria!” she exclaimed proudly.

“Sounds nice.” I admitted.

Not wanting to look at the ceiling anymore, I turned to Applejack. Somehow, seeing her smiling face cheered me up, if only just a little bit.

“So, what did you make?” I asked.

“Well, the girls made salads and stuff. Your fridge was filled with meat, which was kinda disturbing.”

“It’s not ponies, I swear.”

“Ah figured as much. Yer cookbooks never mentioned pony meat. Anyway, ah made an apple pie. It’s mah specialty.”

“Apple pie, huh?” This piqued my interest, “Sounds delicious.”

“Well, come on over. You’re in for a mighty treat!”

I followed her back out, where the other five are sitting down, ready to eat. They looked up at me, upset that they made me mad. Instead of following through with some long, drawn out apology that would have probably ended up being a rambling mess of words that somehow formed a sentence, I simply smirked, and sat down with them. They understood that I was no longer mad at them, and went back to having those smiling faces.

The meal that followed was unconventional, at least for me. I’m not exactly a salad kind of guy, though I didn’t one hundred percent reject the idea of salads. Normally, a burger, or even a hot pocket would constitute my meals, especially if I was extremely lazy, and didn’t feel like making anything extravagant. The food that these equines made, however, was rather good. Whatever they bought, they bought the best. I assumed that they were very picky on their choices of food, and only settled for the sweetest, or the tastiest kinds.

I was so stuffed, I barely had any room for that apple pie, but somehow, I gulped it down. I hadn’t had such a dessert in a while, but the moment it hit my tongue, I was in pure heavenly bliss. It was easily the best pie I had in a long, long while. Pinkie Pie also made a cake, but it was devoured by the others before I could take a bite.

RING RING!

My cellphone blared a catchy tune, scaring everypony in the room.

"AHH! Run for it!" Fluttershy ducked under the table.

"Relax, it's just my phone." I say. I look at the caller ID, sighing at who it is. "Great." I answer, "Hey guys."

"What the hell is going on over there?!" It's my Dad, and he's none too happy.

"What do you mean, Dad?"

"You're all over the news, with some kind of purple creature!"

"Really?" I turn on the television, and sure enough, the old man was right. I see myself barreling through the crowd of people, with Twilight in tow. "That's really cool."

"No, it's not cool! Your mother is worried sick, and neighbors are coming to our door, asking if you had any psychological problems!"

"Well, that's just none of their business, wouldn't you say?" I chuckle.

"Dammit, Matt! This is serious."

"I know, Dad. They're just visiting..."

"They? How many of those things are you hiding?!"

"Six."

"SIX?!" I can hear him nearly going into shock. "You have six of those things in your apartment?!"

"They're ponies, Dad. Talking animated ponies from another dimension. They aren't things. It's only going to be for a little while, okay?"

He sighs angrily into the phone. Some part of me just knows he's rubbing his eyelids in frustration. I don't blame him. Who else could say they have a son that is harboring six ponies in his apartment? I'm actually amazed he managed to pull himself together after I said such a ridiculous thing.

"I'm...I mean we are just concerned, son. Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, Dad. I'm not running with some kind of gang, or have a police record...at least...I didn't have a police record. You just have to trust me on this, okay? You're not going to tell anyone where I live, are you?"

"No, of course not."

"Okay, then."

"Just...be careful. Okay?"

"I will, Dad. Tell Mom not to worry, that I love her, and that I will see her soon."

"Okay. I love you, son."

"Love you too, Dad."

I hang up the phone. I see all the ponies looking at me, wondering what was going on at the other end of the conversation. I smile, and gather the plates to the sink.

I cleaned the dishes myself, despite the insistence of the others that they could help. I wanted to make up for my slight outburst, and do something nice for them, as they got ready for bed. Though most of the day was filled with mild disappointment, along with some major disappointment, it ended more pleasantly than I anticipated. Twilight didn’t tell me when her magic will return, but somehow…I hope it’s not too soon. I was kind of enjoying their company.

Morning came, and it was Monday. It was a work day. When I first started my job, I had to set the alarm for the time to go and get ready. I’ve been working at this job for so long now, that there is now no need to set the clock every night before sleeping. Even on days where I didn’t work, I would find myself waking up at the exact hour. This time, I was extra quiet, so I wouldn’t wake up the others. I took my shower, brushed my teeth, and had a small breakfast. There were a few fresh apples in the fridge, so I took one on my way out the door.

As I stood in the elevator, eating my apple (holy crap, that apple was delicious), I thought it was a little rude of myself to not leave a note to where I was headed. I made a mental note to call them, when I got to work, and leave a message if need be.

The elevator doors open, and I nearly jump back in shock to see Pinkie Pie on the other side, looking at me with a wide smile.

“Hi!” she said cheerfully.

“AH!” I yelped, “Pinkie! How did you get down here so fast?!”

“The stairs, silly!” she said, “I got here well before you did!”

The average time in the elevator without any extra stops was about 20 seconds. I timed myself once when using the stairs, and it would take just a little over a minute to get down to the lobby. How the heck did she get down there well before I did, and without tripping herself too? I shook my head, as there was no time to question the logic breaking activities of this creature.

“What are you doing down here, anyway?” I asked, “You should be asleep with the others.”

“I could ask you the same thing, Mr. Early Bird!”

“I have to go to work. I was going to leave a message when I got there….”

“Ooooh! Work? As in a job?” She said curiously. “What do you do? Is it hard? Can I come with?”

I could have said no. Thinking about it now, I should have said no. But even when cutting through the park, it would take me 30 minutes to get to work, even longer now, after the events of yesterday, and I had no more time to waste. To my great regret, I motioned the pink pony to come with me, and she followed me out the door, with a series of hops.

I snuck around the park, avoiding unnecessary risks. There is usually police all over the place, even in a park as nice as the one I cross.

"What are we doing?" asked Pinkie quietly.

"I drew some unwanted attention yesterday with Twilight. I'm trying to avoid that with you."

"Ah okay. Stealth mode, activated." She kicks into high gear, sneaking around the area, looking for clear paths for me to cross. She was fast, faster than I anticipated a pony such as her would be. She ducked and dived through the bushes, looking around for any patrols. She popped up out of a bush by the exit, waving me on to follow. I was, shall we say...less than graceful. Any attempt to be as sneaky as her resulted in me falling on my face or ass. Still, I somehow managed to make it to her in one piece.

I spot an alleyway, one that I would usually duck into if I was afraid of running late. The two of us dive inside, and go back to normal walking stances.

“So, what do you do?” she reiterated her question, as we walked through the alley.

“I sell video games. Well, I’m one of many people who sell video games.”

“Video games?” she asked, “You mean those big boxes with joysticks? How do you expect ponies…I mean people to take those home?”

“You might be thinking of arcade machines, Pinkie.” I corrected her, “We don’t sell those. Video games are for those with these somewhat small electronic systems you attach to your televisions. Much more practical than those unwieldy arcade machines.”

“I see.” she said, still not understanding of the idea, “What are televisions, anyway?”

“They’re electronic boxes, which show different programs. It’s sort of like an alternative to books.”

“An alternative to books? Who wouldn’t want to read a book?”

“You sound like Twilight.” I chuckled.

After a while of trying to explain television to Pinkie, we made it to my work. It took me a while to remember the sign plastered outside the door, stating ‘No Pets Allowed!’ right next to the sign that refuses solicitations and food consumers. I couldn’t just shoo her away, especially when there’s nopony else (did I just type that?) to escort her home. Even then, I wouldn’t trust two ponies that are still unfamiliar with this city to navigate back to my house. I hadn’t been written up yet by my boss, so I guess there’s a first time for everything. I hoped that he would be a little more lenient, considering that she can talk and form a semi-coherent thought…and also animated. The store could use a mascot. Heh, that would have been great.

We entered the store at the same time (thank god for double doors) to be greeted by my boss. He was Jason, a middle aged man, who looked like he had a stick up his ass for decades. I had no idea how he came to run the establishment; maybe he started out like me, and worked he way up. He didn’t even look like he knew what video games were, much less play them. I think he was only there to sell, rather than talk about the latest Halo or Resident Evil with the customers.

The moment he saw Pinkie, his brow furrowed with anger.

“Matt!” he yelled, “What the hell is going on with you, boy?! You're all over the news! And what’s this colorful animal doing in my store?!”

“Sir, this is…a friend of mine. Her name is Pinkie Pie and…”

“Why are you friends with an animal? Last I checked, animals don’t talk!”

“I do!” Pinkie exclaimed, hopping right in front of me, and right in Jason’s face. The look on him was priceless.

“What the shit?!” he screamed, “She talked? She can do that?! Can the other one on the TV do that?!”

“Yes we can!” she proudly stated, “I just want you to know that I’ll do my best not to be a nuisance, and help in any way possible, okay?”

He stared at her, then back at me…then back at her…then back at me…I think it went on for a couple minutes until…

“Keep an eye on her.” he harrumphed, “Make sure she doesn’t shit everywhere.” He walked into his office, and shut the door. I just knew he was watching us on the monitor in that office. I’ve seen it before with the other employees.

“What’s shit?” she turned back to me.

“Feces.” I said with a deadpan tone of voice.

“Ew! I would never do that! We have bathrooms in Equestria! Who does he think I am? An anim…oh….right.”

“Yeah, the horses and ponies of this world frequently like to drop their…excrement wherever they please.”

“Gross. I’m glad I’m not like that at all.”

“Me too.” I laughed, "I just hope he doesn't call the police."

I explained to her the rules of the store, and to stay at my side at all times. She was adamant about walking up to people on the sales floor to help them, but I tried to tell her that I didn’t want to scare them away. She nodded as if she understood me, but deep within my brain, I had the feeling that she wasn’t going to listen.

The first customer walked in.

“Hi!” she yelled.

The first customer fled in fear. I hope he doesn't call the police either.

“I’m sorry.” she told me, “I think I came on a little too strong.”

“It’s okay.” I assured her, “Let me do the talking, and if they’re curious…try not to be so…startling.” She nodded.

The next customer walked in. Pinkie didn’t say a word, just like she promised. Within minutes, the customer found what she was looking for, and came to me. As we were making the transaction, her eyes fell on the pink pony at my side.

“Cute standee.” she said, “Is that for a new game coming out?”

“Actually, this is my friend. He name is Pinkie Pie. Say hi, Pinkie.”

“Hello.” she said with much less enthusiasm than she did the first customer, but still unmistakably happy.

“Woah!” her eyes go huge, “That’s awesome! Where did you get her?”

“It’s a long story.” I told her, “She's from out of town, so it’s only for a little while.”

“She’s so cute!” I couldn’t dispute that, “Can I pet her?”

I looked at Pinkie for permission. She allowed it. The customer patted Pinkie on the mane, and she was happy to receive it. She then left with her purchase with a smile on her face. So far, so good. I congratulated Pinkie on a job well done.

The next few hours slowly but surely started to degenerate into something a little less pleasant. It was becoming busier by the minute, my boss wasn’t coming out to help (the lazy bastard), and the second employee called in sick. Pinkie wanted to help, I could see the look in her eyes, but I pleaded with her to not go out on the floor. It was headed for the afternoon, and it was reaching a fever pitch. I was going through transactions like hotcakes. I hoped that Jason would double my pay for the debacle that was happening.

Pinkie couldn’t take it anymore. She brushed past me, hopping off the table, and onto the sales floor. She walked around, asking those if they needed help. They predictably shrieked in fear, and came running out the door. Somehow, I got the easily frightened customers that day. As each potential sale made their way out the door, the more I become frustrated with Pinkie. I knew she meant well, but I gave her direct orders. I knew my boss wouldn’t like that…

And he didn’t.

When the crowd died down, he came exploding out of his office like a stereotypical action movie hero, but instead of Bruce Willis, I got a guy with a bald spot and a beer gut.

“What the hell?!” he shouted, “Look at what she did! She scared off half the store with the shit she pulled!”

“I’m sorry, sir. Won’t happen again.” I looked at Pinkie sternly.

“It better not! One more slip up, and you’re fired!”

“Fired?” I queried, “I haven’t been written up once during my four years here!”

“I should have fired you on the spot for bringing her here in the first place, but I’m in a good mood today.” Sure didn’t look like it. “You better watch yourself for the rest of the day!” He went barreling back into his office.

“Pinkie…” I said with seriousness, “I told you to stay with me.”

“I had to do something. You looked so busy.”

“I know. Don’t worry about it. I’ve dealt with crowds like this all the time. Just…stay here, okay?”

“Okie dokie loki.” she said.

The next hour seemed to get better. Customers that were curious about her got a surprise when she spoke up. Luckily, it was a nice surprise, as they were taken by her bubbly personality. Everything seemed to be looking up.

But then, as the end of my shift approached, Pinkie spotted a customer headed for the door with a game box in his hand.

“THIEF!” she shouted, jumping away from me, and straight for the man. She knocked over a few displays, and racks of games to get to him, before tackling him to the floor.

“PINKIE!” I yelled, “He wasn’t stealing anything!”

“Yes he was!” she said with determination, “He was about to walk out the door, when I caught him!”

“He’s a regular here, Pinkie! Even if he was stealing, there’s no game in the box!” I took the box from the customer, and opened it up for her. As she was staring, he crawled from underneath her, and ran out the door.

On cue, my boss came storming out.

“LOOK AT THIS PLACE! IT’S A MESS!”

“I’m sorry…” I said quickly, “It was just a misunderstanding…”

“A misunderstanding?! She wrecked my store! Clean this mess up, now!”

“Yes, sir.”

“And when you’re done…get out of here! YOU’RE FIRED!”

My jaw dropped from my head. I could have argued with him, but he once fired a guy for putting a soda on the front desk. There was no use. I cleaned up the mess; Pinkie tried to help, but I didn’t acknowledge it. I should have never brought her with me. I should have told her to stay with the others, and wait for me to come back. How could I have been so stupid?

We cut through the park like normal, Pinkie slowly trotted behind me.

“I’m sorry.” she said. This was the millionth time she said it. Slight exaggeration, I know. I responded to her the same way…with silence. “Are you mad at me?”

What followed was something I should have never done. I paused, as my eyes were filled with rage at that question.

“Mad?” I said. “I’m not mad…I’M FURIOUS!” I turned to her, getting right in her face, “YOU GOT ME FIRED!”

“I said I was sorry.” she said timidly.

“SORRY DOESN’T GET MY JOB BACK!” I screamed at her, “I had a good job! Sure, the boss was a pile of waste, but a good job! It got me paid, it got me good money! And now, it’s gone!”

“You can use the money under your bed…”

“You don’t get it, do you?! I was saving that money! This job was supposed to help me with the other expenses. No job…no money! Now, I have to cut through my savings, just so I get by before I find a new line of work, and who knows how long that’s going to be, the way this economy is going?!”

“I…I…”

“How did spending a couple days with you ponies ruin my life so quickly?! I can’t wait till Twilight gets her powers back, just so I don’t have to see any of you anymore, and you can all be gone from my life FOREVER!”

I was done. Pinkie was frozen solid.

I sighed, and turned to keep on walking, but the sounds of her sniffling caught my attention fast. I turned back around to see her once poofy hair, had deflated into long straight streaks.

“Uh...what’s up with your hair?” I asked.

“It…gets like that…when I’m…sad.” she said, in between sniffles.

I realized what I had done. I screwed up…bad.

“Oh no…” I said under my breath, “No, no, no, no….” I leaned down to her level, “Pinkie…I need you to not cry right now, okay?”

“You….you hate us…” she sobbed, “You want us gone…”

I look around, and saw people looking right at us; most were looking right at me…judging me for what I had said to this innocent creature, the others have taken out their camera phones, recording us. The weight of my words brought my heart crashing to the ground below, and all that was there now, was a dark void of regret.

“Pinkie…” I began to tear up, “Please don’t cry…I don’t do well with crying.”

“I was…just trying…to help…” she cries, “I didn’t…mean…to be a burden.”

“I know, I know. And I’m grateful…but…”

“Then why are you so mad?! I didn’t know that that man wasn’t stealing! How could I have known that?! You didn’t tell me!”

“I messed up, I realize that…”

“And now you hate me! You hate us all! I just wanted you to be happy, and have a good day!” she sobs hard. Those judgmental eyes were piercing my very soul. I didn’t know what to do…what to say.

Then…

“Aw, hell with it!” I said.

I wrap my arms around her in the blink of an eye. Her crying stops instantly. I never hugged anyone else before, especially not a cartoon pony, but I embraced her with as much gentleness as I could give. She was soft, a part of her wet with tears, but still soft. I ran one of my hands on her mane, giving it a nice stroke, like I was lightly petting her.

“I’m so sorry, Pinkie.” I whispered into her ear, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I was just so frustrated, and I took it out on you.”

“But…it was my fault.”

“No, it was my fault. I didn’t tell you everything. I should have.”

“Do you…do you hate me?”

“No, Pinkie. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate any of you. I’ll never yell at you again. I promise.”

She was quiet for a few seconds. Suddenly…POOF! Her hair exploded back into its normal state. I separated myself from her, to see that she is back to being all sunshine and happiness.

“Thanks for that!” she said in a bouncy tone, “I feel much better now! Let’s go back to your place!”

She hopped past me, as I sat there dumbfounded by what just happened. Those watching me had a similar reaction as well. I went after her, before she got too far away from me. I hear approaching sirens. Someone had called the cops.

"Shit, not again!" I run past Pinkie, "Come on, Pinkie!"

We managed to avoid detection, much to our great luck and Pinkie's incredible sneaking techniques. That night, we refrained from telling the others the full story of what happened at work, just that I ‘quit’ my job, and have set my sights on better things. In a way, I kind of was. Though I was appreciative of the pay, in terms of actually getting closer to my goal, the job was as dead of an end as it could have been. The meal that they cooked up, much like the last one, was scrumptious, and made a mental note to remember the recipes that they cooked up for the food. We all gathered by the television, watching the news, hoping to see if I showed up again. To them, I had suddenly become a big time celebrity.

“Oh!” Twilight remembered, “I almost forgot to tell you all…I finally have enough power to make the portal again!”

“Thank goodness!” Fluttershy said, “I was getting worried. Poor Angel might be starving, right now.”

“When are we going to try it?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Tonight…if Matt wants me too.”

They looked at me. A part of me wanted to say no, and have them stay one more night. I didn’t prepare a goodbye or anything. However, the way she looked at me, she seemed determined to try it as soon as possible. I sighed to myself.

“Sure.” I said. Neither one of them caught on the air of disappointment in my voice. Instead, they cheered happily at the chance to go back home.

To celebrate for them, I corked open a bottle of wine, and poured a glass for each pony. They mentioned that they dabbled in wine every once in a while, so I figured it couldn’t have hurt. They tasted the wine carefully, it was white wine, and the flavor was unfamiliar to them. They said that they mainly drink dandelion wine, which I never tasted…or even heard of for that matter, but they thought the taste was fine nevertheless.

“To new beginnings.” I said, raising my glass to the ceiling. I looked over at them, realizing that they cannot do the same. After a brief chuckle, I tapped each of their glasses.

“To new beginnings!” they all yelled simultaneously.

"HEY LOOK! You're on TV again, Matt!" Pinkie points at the television.

We all look to see a news report about the footage of me and Pinkie in the park. There's no audio, but the footage shows me yelling at poor Pinkie. The others gasp.

"Why were you yelling at Pinkie, Matt?" Rainbow Dash asks, trying to get into my face.

"No, Rainbow. It was my fault. I accidentally got him fired from work."

"Pinkie!" Twilight says.

"No, don't get mad, you guys. It's okay." I tell them, "It's fine, really."

They look back at the television, and they see me lean down, and hug Pinkie, cheering her up. The anger that was inside them dissipated, as they watched me hold Pinkie tightly, taking her tears away.

"Awwwwwwww...." They all said.

"I didn't know you cared so much about us, Matt." Twilight said in admiration, "Thank you."

"Yeah." I chuckled, as they walked away. "Me neither," I whisper, so no one could hear.

Midnight approached, and we were all back in Central Park. Forty eight hours earlier, I was crushed by these six ponies, now I was saying goodbye to them. I’d be lying if I told you that I wasn’t going to miss them when they were gone. I did a pretty alright job at hiding my true feelings, but I think that they were aware of them just by looking at me.

“Well…I guess this is it…” I said, “Are you sure this is going to work?”

“Positive.” Twilight replied, “I thought about it hard, and I believe that we will be back in our own dimension.”

“I only ask, because you seemed hesitant yesterday.”

“I’m being positive. Just like you.” she smirked.

“Think there might be a chance that you’ll make your way into this dimension again, any time soon?” “I wondered.

“Who knows? Probably.”

She looked back at the clear area ahead of her. She concentrated hard, as her horn glowed a bright brilliant purple hue. Soon, the portal appeared right in front of us. It was less aggressive than it was a couple days ago; I figured Twilight had a better handle on it now. She looked back at me with a smile.

“Good luck.” she said.

“Same to you.”

She was the first to go through. The others followed suit, each with their own look to me, and a different kind of goodbye. Pinkie gave me a nice tight hug, while Applejack gave me one of her freshly baked pies. As the last of them went through the portal, I thought about my future, and what I was going to do next. I thought about taking up writing again, trying to continue my dream of being a part of the movies. Now that I had the time, I could’ve gotten going on that super amazing screenplay. I turned to leave when…

SMACK!

I hit a low hanging tree branch. I stumbled backwards…holding my head in pain…and fell right into the portal.

Whoops. Didn’t see that coming.

Ponyville

I had no idea how long I was knocked out. After falling through the portal to Equestria, I went into a state of unconsciousness in a matter of moments. Strange thing though, I didn’t dream when I was out. I normally dream a lot when I’m asleep. Then again, I hadn’t been knocked out before, so the brain probably works different when it comes to dreams. All I could see and hear was nothing.

Time seemed to move slowly for me in this state, so it felt like hours when I finally heard something familiar. I heard Twilight’s voice, talking to someone.

“This is exciting, Princess! The first and only human in Equestria! Think of all the things we can learn from him!”

“He looks rather strange, There’s not much hair on his body. Then again, those garments are covering most of him up.” I hear another voice say. I’m not familiar with this voice. It was still female, but more…what’s the word…ethereal? I think that’s the right word to say.

“I can fix that.” I heard Twilight say.

Suddenly, I felt a tug on my belt buckle. I opened my eyes to see Twilight; her teeth clamped on my belt, trying to pull off my pants. My reaction was rather normal for this kind of situation.

“Hey!” I shouted, startling Twilight from her pants removal operation, “Dinner and a movie first, buddy!”

She took a step back from me, embarrassed that I regained consciousness during that awkward moment. I got up from the bed I was sleeping on, readjusting my pants. However, as I stood up, I immediately felt light headed. Maybe getting up quickly wasn’t the best idea. Predictably, I sat back down.

“I apologize for my student’s behavior. She can get very…enthusiastic when it comes to learning new things.”

“No problem…” I said, rubbing my recently smacked forehead. “And who are…” I looked at the source of that lovely voice, and found myself face to face with an equally lovely mare. She was pure white, taller than Twilight, and possibly myself, with a mane that flows in the air, even when there is no wind present in the room. So, this is what being on drugs is like. Wait…I wasn’t on drugs. I don’t think I was…nevermind.

“…you?” I completed after a long pause of staring.

“I’m Princess Celestia.” she replied, smiling, “I am the ruler of Equestria. And you are Matt, Twilight told me everything about you when you were out. I welcome you to our land.”

“Land? So…I’m in Equestria right now?” It was all coming back to me. The hit, the fall, the bright light before going out. I looked around the room, and found myself in a house that looked like I was inside of a tree. Books adorned the walls, and a giant window was right behind me, overlooking the land. Much like the ponies themselves, it was very bright and colorful.

“Yes.” Celestia continued, “You fell through the portal into our world. We never had a human here before, nor have we heard of you creatures until now. It truly is an honor to be in your presence.”

While most people would go totally bonkers after being talked to like that, I was still way too shocked at my situation to react to such a thing. Seriously, she had a pseudo-messiah thing going with that speech. It’s like she then expected me to fly in the air, and call myself ‘The One’ or something.

“O-Okay.” I stuttered, “Not that I’m not humbled, but how long will it take for Twilight to get her magic ready to send me back? It took a couple days last time, so…” I saw the look of someone about to tell me some very bad news. “What? Don’t tell me the portal turned into a black hole, and destroyed my universe, did it?”

“I…” Twilight paused, “I don’t think so.” she looked at Celestia, “Can portals do that?” Celestia shook her head. “No? Okay.” she turned back to me, “No, your universe is fine. It’s just…”

“We cannot send you back.” Celestia finished Twilight’s sentence.

“What do you mean, you can’t?”

“Let me rephrase. The thing is, it’s not that we can’t…it’s that we won’t.” Celestia said with an air of authority.

“Why not?”

“Inter-dimensional travel is forbidden here in Equestria. The fact that Twilight did it not once, but twice, is a punishable offense. Who knows what dangers could have come out of the other side? But, since it was an accident, I’m going to let it slide. However, the fact remains that we cannot have an incident like that ever again.”

“But, it’s easy. Just ‘pop’, and I’m out of here, right?”

“Twilight got lucky getting back to our world. I do not expect lightning to strike twice in the same spot again. I’m sorry, Matt, but that’s the way it is.”

“So…what you’re saying is…I’m a permanent resident here?”

"Yes." Celestia nodded, "From here on out, you will be living in Equestria...forever.”

“I see.” I then proceed to submit myself into a very long pause. Neither Twilight, nor Celestia could make heads or tails of my absolute silence. “Now…when you say forever…” I continued, “You mean like until you get sick of me, and send me back ‘forever’, or like until the end of my life ‘forever’?”

“I mean the latter.” Celestia replied, “This is, for all intents and purposes, your new home.”

Once again, absolute silence fills the room. My mind raced with what I was leaving behind back in my world. My parents, whatever friends I had, that box of money, I’ll never see them again. I can only imagine my parents doing a worldwide search for me, and some robber going into my room, and taking that money for himself, so he can pay off a loan shark, or gamble, or something shady. All that time saving, and now I couldn’t even use it. Instead, I’m stuck in a magical pony kingdom, with me being the only human resident.

“Oh my god.” I said, burying my face into my palms, “Oh my god…” I repeated, sounding muffled to Twilight and the Princess. I felt Twilight put a hoof on my shoulder, in an attempt to comfort me.

“I can’t imagine how you must feel.” She said.

“I’ll get over it…eventually.” Repeating what I said to Applejack the night before. I really will, just not right now. I raised my head from my palms, looking at Celestia. “So, what happens now?”

“Now? You live here.”

“Yeah, but how?” I wondered, “Since I’m human, I don’t know if I ever could follow your customs.”

“Yes, I can see how that can be tough for you.” Just then, an idea sparked inside her head. “Then again…” She paused, thinking. “Maybe it wouldn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…I COULD turn you into one of us.”

My eyes widen. She could do that? She could turn me into a pony? That’s simultaneously cool and scary at the same time.

“You can do that?”

“I’m an Alicorn. I can do what I want.” she said with a smirk, “I can turn Twilight into an Alicorn if I wanted to.”

“Really?” Twilight’s eyes grow big and sparkly.

“Maybe later.” Celestia responded. Twilight pouts in disappointment.

With the option in front of me, I thought about the positives of being such a creature. I would fit in a lot better, I wouldn’t have to worry about broken fingers, or stubbed toes, and I would have a pretty awesome backstory to tell those that do not know me. However, I had grown rather attached to my limbs and appendages during my twenty four years of life. Sure, I would stick out amongst the crowd, being what I am now, but there’s no way I would ever…

“That sounds like a good idea.”

Okay, I guess some part of my brain felt the need to take over for my mouth. Honestly, at that time, I had no frakking clue why I agreed to such a procedure. I guess I have some deeply rooted desire to be someone else, or look like something else. I got to tell you, I’m not much to look at. I mean, I’m not someone you would look at, scream, light yourself on fire, and jump out a window, but I’m no Thor: God Of Thunder either. Wow, that sounded nerdy.

“It’ll take awhile to prepare, however.” she said, “Transformational spells are very difficult, and my royal duties will keep me from focusing all my attention on the spell.”

“Then, how long will it take, until it’s ready?”

“About three months. Maybe more.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad. I think I can manage until then.”

“Good. In the meantime, you’ll be staying with Twilight, until we can find better accommodations.”

“Oh…no.” I said, turning to Twilight, “I really don’t want to impose.”

“It’s no problem, really.” she said, “After all, you took us in.”

“Yeah, but that was for a couple days. This is three months. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You won’t be. I have a spare bed, and as long as you help around the house, there won’t be any problems. Besides, with you here, you can tell me all about humans, so I can write it down for my book.”

“Then it’s settled.” Celestia said, “I hope you enjoy your stay, Matt. Twilight, I bid you good day.”

In a flash of blinding light, she disappeared, leaving me and Twilight alone in the house. I suppose I was in Twilight’s house, since we aren’t moving. The rows of books should have been a dead giveaway.

“Does she have a sister?” I blurted out. Hey, she may have been someone of a different species, but even I couldn’t have denied that she was pretty…well…pretty.

“Yeah. Her name is Luna. She rules the night.” Twilight responded in a matter of fact tone, “Now, what do we do about this?” she looks over at my back, running a hoof along my spine.

“Hey now.” I said, “I don’t know you well enough for that.”

“Enough to mention about how dirty your back is?”

I moved my shirt to see that my entire back is covered in mud. At least, I hoped that it was mud. Smelling it, it definitely was mud. That’s good, I would have been a tiny bit disappointed that my first event in Equestria, was landing on top of a massive cow-pie.

“Oh. My clothes are a mess! How am I supposed to last three months with this?”

“Relax. I’ll take you to Rarity.”

“What can she do? Take whatever money I have left?”

“No. She can make you clothes. She’s a fashion designer.”

“Huh. I never would have guessed that.”

“Don’t tell her that. She might get angry. Come on, I’ll give you a tour of Ponyville on the way.”

“Thanks, Twilight.”

“It’s no biggie. Actually, I find you being here rather exciting.”

“As long as you don’t try dissecting me in my sleep, I think we’ll be alright. By the way, I didn’t land on anyone when I came here, did I?”

“No. Scared the hay out of some birds, though.” she chuckled.

“Ah, well…that’s okay then.”

The two of us went outside into Ponyville. It was a small town, but well-populated, with many ponies walking around. I had to admit, it looked awful nice. We walked around the area as we made our way to Rarity, with Twilight pointing out the most notable areas.

“That’s Sugar Cube Corner, and upstairs is where Pinkie Pie lives.” She points to another area. “That’s the town hall, where the Mayor makes her announcements. Up ahead will be Carousel Boutique, which is also where Rarity lives.”

“What about the others?”

“Fluttershy lives not too far out from Ponyville, Rainbow Dash lives in her mansion made entirely from clouds…”

“A cloud mansion?! Jesus!”

“There’s that name again. Who in the hay is Jesus?”

“Um…” I had to think what to say, “Just a form of expression.” I Wasn’t in the mood to talk about religious figures.

“Anyway, she only goes there during the night. You can find her sleeping in clouds, or on tree branches.” Twilight looks up, “Oh look, there she is now.”

I look up to see Rainbow Dash hanging out on a floating cloud.

“Hi Rainbow!” Twilight waves.

“Sup?” Rainbow Dash gives a half-hearted gesture, as she floats on by our vision.

“What about Applejack?” I asked.

“She lives over on Sweet Apple Acres. It’s down the road past my house. You can’t miss it.”

I made a note to visit her later on. I continued to look around Ponyville, in admiration of its architectural design, not to mention that it looks better than most small towns I’ve seen, and this one was built by ponies! As we got closer to Rarity’s, I had one clear thought.

“You know, Twilight. I think I’m going to like it h…”

POW!

Something collided with my head, sending me flying back a good ten feet away from Twilight. I hit the ground with a large thud, but a second thud followed suit. Twilight ran past me to the location of the second thud.

“Derpy! What have I told you about flying low?”

“Sorry, Twi! My eye’s acting up again, and I was in a hurry. Won’t happen again.”

“Be careful next time.”

I then heard the sound of somepony flying away from the scene, as Twilight came back to me. My vision was in a daze, and my head hurt like hell. It was a miracle that I wasn’t knocked out. Hell, it was a miracle that I didn’t suffer permanent brain damage from that hit!

“Are you okay?”

I answered with the most coherent sentence ever.

“I don’t want to go to school today! I’d rather stay home and bake cookies with you!”

Okay, maybe not. She holds a hoof up to my face, moving it around to get my attention.

“How many hooves am I holding up?”

I examined it carefully. Squinting my eyes to get a clearer view.

“One, with five ghost hooves haunting it.”

“Close enough.” she said, helping me up. “Come on. We’re almost there.”

I stumbled into Carousel Boutique with all the grace of a wrecking ball, still in a daze after being struck in the brain by an unidentified flying pony. After almost crashing into some cabinets and tables, I slumped onto a nearby chair, as I hold my head with the mother of all aches, and I hear another pony walk in.

“Oh, hello Twilight. What are you…WAHAHAAAA!!!!” I assumed this was Rarity. That posh voice she was expelling was hard to mistake for somepony else. I hear her gallop over to me, and I suddenly feel two hooves on my shoulders, as I am shaken from my battle with pain, and am moved around by this fashion pony. She looks at me, inspecting my wounds, but most of all my dirty clothes.

“What in all of Equestria happened to you, dear?”

I was a gentleman about the whole ordeal.

“You’re reeeaaallllllyyyy preeeetttyyyyyyyy………”

Nevermind, I totally wasn’t. I reached out, putting a hand onto her soft cheek, caressing it rather lovingly. I do a lot of stupid things, when in a daze, and this was definitely one of them. Rarity scoffed, as she pushed me away from her, and went back to Twilight.

“What is wrong with that human?”

“Derpy hit him at mach speed. He’s a little…odd, right now.”

“I can tell. I know just the thing to do.” I watch her walk out of my sight. Moments later, she came trotting back in with a bucket of something, I’m not sure what. I found out in seconds that it was a bucket of ice cold water. How do I know this? Because she splashed it on me.

The impact of the water with my aching head drove me right out of my strange daze, as I shot up from the chair, rapidly looking about the room, whilst splashing leftover water onto Rarity and Twilight.

“Wha? What’s happened? Where am I?! What day is it?! What year?!” I asked in a panicked state.

“You were hit in the head by a mailpony named Derpy Hooves, you’re in carousel boutique right now, and it’s Tuesday the nineteenth.”

Huh, she didn’t tell me the year. It wasn’t important anyway. It was enough to get me to stop moving around so much, that’s for sure. That cold water really did the trick though; my head was no longer in intense pain. I turned to Rarity, who was still a little freaked out by my behavior.

“Sorry…if I did anything to weird you out.”

“It’s fine, darling.” she says, going back to her more pleasant tone of voice, “Now, I assume you’re here to get some new clothes, correct?”

“How did you know?”

“You’re clothes are a mess, dear. And from what I remember, you didn’t bring a suitcase with you when you fell through the portal, unless you did, and I was mistaken.”

I should have been a little peeved about the way she was talking to me. However, her cynical tone of voice was pretty charming, actually. Instead of looking at her with a scowl, I chuckled at what she said.

“No, you’re right. I definitely didn’t go back to my apartment, gather up my clothes in a suitcase, then proceeded to hit my head on a tree branch, and fall through the portal with it in hand.” I said with a smile.

“Well, now that we know, what kind of clothes would you like?”

“Umm…a t-shirt and jeans?” I shrugged my shoulders.

“T-shirt…and jeans….I see…” she looked at me like she had no idea what I was talking about, “Because I think you would look rather dapper in a suit, if you don’t mind me saying.”

“That’s nice, but I don’t think that would be very casual.”

“You have a point. Step up onto the platform, and let me take your measurements.”

I did as she asked. Armed with a long piece of measuring tape, she proceeded to do my measurements, using her magic. It was nice not having someone touch you as they were measuring your height and width; I found that to be very awkward when getting fitted for a suit back where I came from. With Rarity, she was fairly far away, letting her floating tape do all the work, as she simultaneously wrote down notes on her pad. After a few seconds, she was done.

“Excellent. Is it safe to assume the t-shirt and jeans you speak of are the items you are wearing, right now?”

“That would be correct.”

“And…what about undergarments. Do you wear those underneath your pants?”

“Yeah.”

“I would like to see them, to get an idea about what they look like.”

“You’re the second pony today that has tried to get my pants off.”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Twilight quickly interjected, “He’s just being funny, that’s all.”

Reluctantly, I unbuckle my pants, and let them drop to the floor, revealing my boxer briefs. Rarity simply nodded, and wrote down a few extra notes, showing a surprising amount of class for a pony who hadn’t seen a pantsless human before. Twilight looked at me, like I was the greatest science project ever conceived. That made me a little worried, not going to lie about that.

Rarity gave me a nod to pull my pants up, and I did so quickly, before Twilight got curious to see more. She looked over her note pad, making sure she didn’t miss anything, then looked at me with a smile.

“Perfect. I’ve seen all that I need to see. You may step off the platform, Matt.” I do so. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like a suit, or something? I’m rather curious to see you in one.”

“Not right now, Rarity. But thanks for the offer. If I do require one, I know who to go to.”

“Me, right?”

“Yes. You.” I chuckled.

“Well, a small collection of shirts, pants and underwear coming up. Do you also need socks?”

“Sure, that would be fine.”

Rarity nodded, and left to go behind a curtain to do her work. For about an hour, we heard her cut and stitch everything together, sometimes with machines, other times with her magic. We also saw various fabrics of different colors flying around, before disappearing from our sight. Every once in a while, we would hear her quietly curse, probably due to getting pricked by a needle, or praise herself with much enthusiasm.

Finally, she came walking out from behind the curtain, with two boxes of clothes. She stacked them up, and floated them over to me. She looked very proud of her work.

“Here you are; the clothes you will need for your stay. I took the liberty of picking out the colors that would match with your style, I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Thank you so much Rarity.” I saw her blush from my words to her. It was pretty cute to see. I never made a girl blush before.

“Well, if you need anything else, just come on by the store.”

“How much to I owe you?”

“Nothing, darling. I wouldn’t dream of charging my friends a single bit.” she said. My heart skipped a beat. She considers me a friend? Even after I got mad at her back home? I didn’t say anything of it, but just smiled.

“That’s very generous of you.” I told her.

“I am the element of generosity, you know.” she stated proudly.

“What?” I asked. What did she mean by that?

“It’s a long story.” Twilight said, pushing me out the door, “I’ll see you later, Rarity.”

“Ta-ta!” Rarity waves, as we go out the door.

After a short walk, we made it back to Twilight’s place. She escorted me to the spare bed she had lying around. While there, I changed into my new clothes. The shirt was soft, smooth, almost like I wasn’t wearing a shirt at all. The pants fit just right; a perfect match to the jeans I was wearing, without the added dirt, of course. All in all, the clothes were fantastic.

I walked out of the room, to show Twilight, when an owl suddenly hovered above me, squawking at me in anger!

“Ah! What the hell?!” I screamed, waving the owl away.

“Owlicious!” Twilight yelled, “He’s a guest! Leave him alone!”

This…Owlicious... obeyed her command, and landed on a nearby perch. It stared at me with those big owl eyes, and I stared back, wondering if it was going to attack me again.

“Hi.” I introduced myself…to the owl. Don’t know why I was doing this. “I’m Matt.”

“Who?” the Owl said.

“Matt.”

“Who?”

“MATT!” I shouted. Holy god, I was arguing with an Owl. I guess with the talking ponies, I figured that the other animals knew English as well. I was wrong about that. I waved Owlicious off, and walked downstairs to Twilight, who was writing inside a huge journal.

“Owlicious?” I asked her.

“That’s his name.” she said with a giggle, “Don’t you name your pets back in your dimension?”

“Yeah, but we usually call them Bob...or Optimus Prime, or something.”

“Optimus Prime sounds like a weird name to me.”

“Hey, Optimus Prime is an awesome name.”

“Whatever you say.” she looks at my new clothes, “Nice threads.” she said, “Rarity did a good job.” I wholeheartedly agreed with her.

“What is that?” I wondered, pointing at the big book she was writing in.

“This? This is my journal. I write about all the scientific findings I see all around Equestria. I’ve seen quite a lot of things not mentioned in any of the books I read.”

“Anything interesting lately?”

“Well, I’m starting a whole new chapter on you.”

“I don’t think I’m that interesting.”

“What are you talking about? You’re the only human that has ever stepped foot inside Equestria. You are the scientific find of a century!”

“You’re talking about me like I’m some kind of beast.”

“I…I didn’t mean that.” she said quietly, “I just mean that plenty of ponies, especially scientists, biologists, and doctors, are going to find you very fascinating.”

“What did I say about dissecting me in my sleep?”

“Not to do it, I know.” she said, “I have an idea. How about you tell me all about yourself?”

“You mean, like my personal history, or…”

“I mean, how your species came to be. I want to know everything. Leave no stone unturned. I have a lot of room in this book for whatever you dish out!”

“History wasn’t exactly my strongest suit in school.”

“Doesn’t matter. Whatever you know, I want to know.”

She looked into my eyes with a wide smile, anticipating the story to come. My knowledge of how my species came to be was limited, but still knowledgeable. She didn’t know a thing about humans, so I was free to say whatever I wanted. It was time to put my skills as a speaker and a storyteller to good use.

“Okay, Twilight. I’ll tell you everything I know…”

The Human Race: As Told By Matt (And Other Fun Things)

The Human Race: As Told By Matt (And Other Fun Things)

I didn’t know all that much about the history of my race. I knew some basic things, including some stuff about mythology, that I learned back in middle school, which sounded cool, but also a bit unbelievable. The thing was, Twilight didn’t know anything about the human race, or how it came to be. So, I did what anyone would do when faced with a task such as this; I told a story...a story of half truths. She readied her quill pen, looked at me with a determined sense of purpose, and I was ready to begin.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…well…in another dimension anyway, there were…THE GODS.

“The Gods? Who are they?”

“You know. The Gods, the creators of all life in the universe. More specifically…our universe. They lived in the cosmos above, and watched over our creation.”

“I see…go on.”

Anyway, they came by many names, but one was the one true God, the man who would create all of mankind.

“God was a Man?”

“It depends on who you talk to. In the books I’ve read, though, God was referred to as a Man.”

“What was this God’s name?”

“His name was…well he had many names. Like Zeus, Odin, George Lucas. Which one sounds good to you?”

“Odin sounds good.”

Okay. So, Odin, was sitting in the skies above out planet and said…

“I feel like creating life today.”

“If this Odin created you, who created him, and the other Gods?”

“I do not know. I don’t think anyone knows, exactly. Do you want to hear this story, or not?”

“I’m sorry. Please, continue.”

With that thought, he sought out in his quest to create life. But he didn’t just snap his fingers and created humanity in that instant, no. Instead, he created other life, like fish. And those fish became lizards, and those lizards became Dinosaurs!

“Dinosaurs?”

“Like dragons, but less cool.”

“Oh.”

So, the dinosaurs roamed the land, eating plants, but also, eating each other. They were massive, large in scale. If they still existed, they would have been terrifying creatures that would have been nearly impossible to stop. They were around for many years. Until, one day, Odin was sitting around on his throne in the sky, and said…

“This is boring. I want some explosions!”

And so, he plucked a meteor out of the depths of space, and tossed it at the earth, creating an explosion large enough to wipe out all the dinosaurs, leaving only their bones. The earth was a wasteland, but eventually life found a way, as it became habitable, and less toxic from all the meteor dust. When that happened, Odin decided to try again, but he did things a little differently this time.

“I’m going to create a being in my own image.” He said in a loud, booming voice that pierced the very heavens.

However, unlike the dinosaurs, he did away with making fish and things that would eventually become humans; instead creating two prototype humans, named Adam and Eve. He placed them in a massive forest like place, called the Garden of Eden, to see what they can do, the catch was, that they couldn’t take any apple from the apple tree in the center of the land.

“Why not?”

“Not quite sure. Probably to test their obedience, I guess.”

Anyway, they took the apple regardless, because of some snake thing, who was the Devil and stuff.

“The Devil? Who is that?”

“Oh right, I forgot about the Devil. Well, Odin and the Devil, who also had many names, but let’s call him Lou, were brothers. But unlike Odin, Lou was pure evil. He was a sadistic man, who reveled in messing with his brother, like a really irritating prankster, but multiplied by eleven.”

“Why was he evil?”

“Uhh…I…” I had to think of something quickly, “Because Odin shut him out of the process of making life, so he swore to create chaos for Odin’s creations.” Wow, that actually sounded kind of cool. If someone told me that, I would have believed it.

“Woah, great stuff!” she said, scribbling furiously into her notebook, “Keep going! What happened when he became a snake?”

He tempted Adam and Eve to take an apple, telling them that no harm would come of them. So they did, and Odin found out right away! He was so mad, he cast them out of the garden, and started fresh.

“What happened to Adam and Eve after they were cast out?”

“I don’t know. They probably died in an explosion or something. It was very vague in the textbooks I read.”

So, without any other options, Odin decided to start like he did the first time around, creating life that would eventually become simple minded apes, and threw them onto earth. After a while, they evolved, and lo and behold…man was officially born! But there was a problem…man was stupid. They were no better than the primal ape, killing and mating all the time like wild beasts.

“And then, women came to be, which made man better?”

“No, this applied to women too. When I say ‘Man’, I’m usually referring to all humans.”

“Aww…” she sounded disappointed, “Oh well.”

Anyways, like all things, over time, they got smarter and smarter. We learned to speak, learned to build things, read and write, all the good stuff. Soon, man became numerous, and the whole world became populated by us, and we thrived for centuries! We created the wheel, the automobile, the speeding train, the movies, television, weapons, computers, clothes!

Throughout history, we had dozens, if not hundreds of individuals who changed our lives forever. George Washington, who discovered the United States of America, the place that came to be the land of the free, and home of the brave. Abraham Lincoln, who abolished slavery, and fought a legion of vampires single handedly. And Michael Bay, who saved the world by sending a team of ordinary men into space, to destroy a global killer-class asteroid!

They, along with many others, were all wonderful human beings who led our people to greatness, and love and tolerance!

“Sounds like good times. Exciting too.” Twilight seemed impressed. Anyone else would have stopped me at the vampire part, but not her; she didn’t know any better.

However, like all creatures, some did not agree to these peaceful times. We had periods of war, periods of death and tragedy; many lives were lost, but through the ashes, many lives were saved. We continued to live on, doing our best to stay proud and strong. We were, and still are a flawed species, who have a lot to learn, even with our long history, but we have endured and will continue to survive. At least until Odin gets bored, and decides to press that ever present restart button. That would be most unfortunate.

“Do you think that would really happen?” Twilight asked.

“Who knows? Now that I’m here, I suppose I’ll never know. If it does, I’m glad I’m with you guys, instead.”

I watched as Twilight wrote down my last words. When she was finished, she quickly looked up at me.

“Anything else?” she asked.

“That’s it. I don’t know much else, beyond that. There were probably a few details here and there that I might have missed, but that was basically it.” I put on my best poker face.

“But, what about your customs, democracies, political stances, and religious points of view?”

“That’s a lot more complicated than you think, Twilight.” I chuckled, “Being a free species, with not much in the way of a definitive ruler, unlike your Celestia and Luna, we could do whatever we wanted, and believe whatever we wanted.”

“You’re not saying our leaders are fascists, are you?”

Didn't expect her to say something like that. It really caught me off guard.

“That’s not what I meant. I apologize if that’s what it sounded like. Though I do not know your ways yet, I can see this looks like a pretty nice place.” I watched as Twilight’s expression changed from accusatory, to a smile, “What I was trying to say, is that we had many leaders in our time, with many policies and religions formed by different individuals. That’s all. How many religions do you have here?”

“Not many. Like three I think.”

“We had a heck of a lot more than that. However, I don’t want to bore you with all the details. Besides, I don’t want to slow things down, and explain every single tiny little thing.”

“But, I want you to do that. It’s almost impossible to bore me!”

“Serious? Not even if I talked rreeeeeeeaaaallllllllyyyyyy sssssllllllloooooowwwww….”

Twilight busted out laughing at my incredibly deep and slow voice, and lightly pushed me in a playful manner.

“Okay, maybe if you did that. But, come on. Tell me a least a little bit.”

“Fine.” I said.

For the next hour or so, I told her about all the religions that I was aware of, thanks to the magic of computers and the internet. I even told her about fake religions, like Trekkies, made by that massive dedicated fanbase of the television show Star Trek. Of course, when I told her that, I had to tell her all I knew about Star Trek, then Star Wars, and science fiction in general.

Every explanation that came from my mouth sprouted more questions from her. She actually found what I had to say interesting, even if I didn’t find it very interesting myself. The look of wonder on her face never left, as I rambled on with the history of my kind.

I discussed almost everything with her, from politics and technology, to our health and metabolism, it was there. I had no idea how much information I had. Sure, I pulled most of the history of the human race out of my behind, but everything else came to me like I knew it all, and simply forgot until the time came.

Only one topic remained, and it was the most awkward of them all.

“So, you told me about what foods your kind eats, the body types, and hatred for these creatures called ‘Snobs’. I have to ask…what are your mating habits?” She said straight.

I paused. Should I really tell her the things that I knew? Hell, most of the things I knew came from books, movies, internet, and perverted guys that I heard in bathroom stalls. Should I even tell her that I was a virgin, who never had a girlfriend, or anything close to an intimate and physical relationship? Sure, I had girls who were friends…Twilight is one of them! But…well…you know.

“Um…well…you see…when a man and a woman love each other very very much.” I decided to begin with the dumbed down explanation my parents told me.

“That’s what my parents told me. I’m already aware of that. I want to know what your habits are.” she demanded.

Great, her parents talked just like mine.

“Well, it can’t be much different than yours, I don’t think…” I said, “I mean, you’re a girl, so you have a….you know, and the guys have….yeah. We have that those kinds of things too. So…you put them together and…” I moved my hands together, forming some kind of interpretive dance about coupling, obviously maneuvering around the issue as horribly as I possibly could. “…sex…I guess…”

“You don’t really know. Do you?” she said with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course I do!” I said, “I just don’t particularly like discussing it. It’s a little too personal for me.”

“Okay, well tell me what it’s like.”

Ah crap. Now she’s really going to have to find out.

“That’s the thing. I…I don’t exactly know. I haven’t…”

“Oh…OH!” she got it, “You haven’t?! Wow, I mean…really? A guy like you? What?!”

“A guy like me? You didn’t see many guys in my world, have you? If you did, you wouldn’t be this surprised.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. You think it’s weird, don’t you?”

“N-no! I-I wasn't saying that at all! You just... well...” Twilight then shakes her head. "Never mind."

Hearing Twilight stammer at such a revelation started to embarrass me. I know it's a bit lame for a guy at my age to be a virgin, but you don't have to make that big of a deal about it. I could get all thoughtful or romantic; saying that I'm waiting for the right one, but I'd just be kidding myself, because that would have required me actually looking for that right one.

“Can we change the subject please, Twilight? I’m getting a little uncomfortable here.”

“Okay, okay.” she said, “I’m sorry.” she puts the book down, “It wasn’t my intention to embarrass you like that.”

“No, it’s okay. You were curious, that’s all.”

“Perhaps we can continue this another time, when things aren’t so…awkward.”

“Hey, at least it can’t get much more awkward than this, right?” I chuckled.

Just then, the door opened revealing a small purple dragon.

“Twilight, I’m home!” he said, “I just got back from Canterlot and…” he stops mid-sentence, looking right at me. “What the heck is that?!” he shouted, “Get away from Twilight!”

He ran at me like a football quarterback. Before I could react, he jumped onto my face, and started hitting the top of my head like a drum. I got up from the couch, trying desperately to shake him off, but the claws in his feet were dug into my shirt, holding on tightly to my shoulders.

“Spike! No! Stop it!” Twilight pleaded with him.

“I will once he’s out of the house!” he says back to her, whilst still trying to smash my brains into mush.

“He’s not leaving, Spike! He’s staying with us!”

“What?”

When he was distracted, I grabbed him, and forcefully ripped him from me, tearing my shirt, and scratching my shoulders. That hurt, and I wasn’t too happy about it. I looked at him with anger in my eyes. The braveness that he displayed was completely gone, and all that was left was embarrassment, and a little bit of fright.

“Uhh…hi.” he said timidly.

“Don’t….do that…again…” I said, fighting myself to not throw the little dragon across the room. I put him down, and he ran over to Twilight.

“Oh my gosh! You’re bleeding!” Twilight said, rushing past Spike, to check my scratches, “Bad Spike! You know better than to assault house-guests!”

“I didn’t know! He was big and tall, I thought he was some kind of monster!”

“What he is, is a human. The ONLY human in Equestria, I might add, and you could have killed him!”

“I wasn’t going to kill him! Now seriously wound, probably.”

Twilight gives him an angry glare that burned through his skull. When he stepped back from her, she looked back at me.

“Are you okay?”

“What is it with your pets trying to attack me today?”

“He’s not a pet. That’s my assistant, Spike.”

“Right, you mentioned him back in New York.”

She inspects my cuts. I see her shake her head, tsking multiple times.

“These are a little deep. I need to clean up your scratches.”

She takes me into the bathroom, where she cleaned my cuts with a delicate amount of care. The way she was treating me, was like my own personal nurse. Still, the disinfectant she was putting on my wounds hurt a lot. I winced in pain at each touch.

“I should have sent Spike a letter beforehand.” she lamented, “This could have easily been avoided. Guess I got a little too excited for my own good.” she looks at my tattered shirt on the floor, “He even tore one of Rarity’s shirts!”

“Don’t worry so much.” I said, “I have more of them on my bed.”

“It’s not just that. He could have seriously hurt you! I’ve never seen him act so aggressive!”

“I’m tougher than you think.” I winch again at another dab of disinfectant, “Don’t let my looks of pain fool you.” I jested.

“Which reminds me; how long will it take to heal these wounds?”

“It depends on the wound. Sometimes it would take days, other times longer than that. Especially with broken bones, or super deep gashes.”

“That’s very slow. We ponies can heal very quickly. Broken bones can be mended within days.”

“Wow, that is fast.”

“I guess it’s good that Princess Celestia is turning you into one of us, then. You won’t have to worry so much, when you get injuries like this.”

I was silent at what she said. I still couldn’t believe that I agreed to let Celestia proceed with such a thing. Sure, the thought of healing faster, and fitting in more easily sounded like a good idea with each passing second, but I kind of liked my humanity as well. Twilight didn’t seem to mind my decision; she was still very much interested in studying me. That part was obvious; I saw her stashing away cotton balls of my blood in a bag for further investigation. It was probably the true reason as to why she wanted me to stay with her, so she can continue to watch me, and study my behavior. A real scientific egghead, if I’ve ever saw one.

Nevertheless, despite the ever growing fear of my insides in her presence, it was infinitely better than sleeping outside on a mound of dirt. Besides, what are a few blood tests and skin samples every now and again?

“There we are. All patched up.” she said, putting the last bandage on my shoulder. “You want to formerly introduce yourself to Spike?”

“Sure.” I replied.

After putting on another shirt, I walked up to the little purple dragon. He was remorseful about attacking me; I could see it as he slow put a hand up, anticipating a handshake.

“Sorry about that.” he said, “I’m Spike.”

I looked down at his clawed hand, then back at him. I smiled, and shook his hand.

“I’m Matt.” I said, “So, anything else in this house that wants to attack me?”

Just then, like God had a massive sense of humor that day, I felt something nibbling at my shoes. I looked down to see a small bright red bird biting at me furiously, but not breaking anything. The bird was nothing like I ever seen before. Instead of being mad, I looked at the creature, confused as to why it was so intent on eating my shoe.

“There’s a bird trying to eat me.” I said rather calmly.

Spike picks up the little bird, giving him a gentle pet. The creature cooed and calmed down from its attack on my feet.

“That’s just Peewee. He’s my pet Phoenix.”

“A Phoenix?” I asked, “You mean those things that burst into flames every once in awhile, and turn back into a baby?”

“Yeah. You’ve seen one before?”

“I’ve heard of them, but I’ve never seen one personally. Peewee’s his name?”

“I named him myself.”

“Hey little guy.” I said, reach out a hand to pet him. He snapped at it with great velocity, but I pulled my hand back before he could get me. “Maybe later, then. Why has every animal I’ve met so far, tried to kill or wound me?”

“Maybe because you’re not familiar to them.” Twilight deduced, “They’ll get used to you, eventually.”

As evening fell, Twilight cooked up a delicious meal of baked vegetables, and a nice little garden salad. I realized quickly that meat was going to be right out of the question from here on out, and that it was going to take some getting used to. Nevertheless, the food was good, so I had no complaints. Twilight proceeded to tell Spike all about me, my situation, and my living conditions for what will be the rest of my life. He attempted to give me the tough guy spiel; saying that if I tried anything funny with Twilight, I would be on the business end of his dragon fist. I had a little laugh at that, assuring the little guy that I had no intention of messing with her.

Before the meal was up, I did wonder about something…

“Twilight…” I said. She raised her head up, still eating her food. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure thing.” she swallows her food, “What is it?”

“I know that this is going to be a bit of a loaded question, but…what’s your story?”

Little did I know of the gates that I have opened. Her eyes grew big with utter happiness, as she smiled the widest smile I had seen her accomplish. I had no idea how wide it was going to go, until she stopped at the point where I thought impossible. She rushed away from her plate, and sat down right next to me.

“You want to know about us?” she asked, still brandishing that crazy smile.

“Since I’m going to be living here…yeah, sure. Why not?”

“Oh brother…” Spike said, “You’re in for it now.” He takes the plates away to the sink, so he wouldn’t have to listen to her.

She breathed in a large deep breath, and so began the back-story of her species. I would love to talk about it, but I am sure you are all aware of the story she is telling. About Celestia and Luna, the discovery of Equestria, the thousand year banishment that concluded with the re-discovery of the Elements of Harmony. That last part was of particular interest to me, since I finally found out what Rarity meant when she called herself ‘The Element of Generosity.’ I had very little clue that I was harboring actual heroes, ones of have risked life and limb to save their world from doom....more than once! Forget the heroes that I had seen in films, television, and comic books, these six ponies were the real deal.

Now, I was the one who looked upon the storyteller with that sense of wonder and admiration she looked at me with. Her tale blew mine straight out of the water, and into the stratosphere. None of what she said felt like embellishments, or over the top lies, it all sounded like the absolute truth.

When she finished, she started to breath normally again. I sat there, mouth agape, processing the tale that she just told. Only one word came to mind…

“Woah.”

“I know, crazy right?” she said, as she got off her chair, “Well, it’s time for bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I watched her trot off upstairs, where she immediately slumped down into bed, and fell fast asleep. I still hadn’t moved an inch from my spot. Spike was already gone, where I assumed he went to bed while Twilight was talking to me. I looked around the room; making sure nobody was waiting to attack me, or claw my face off. All alone, the only one in the house that was awake, I was finally able to say the thought that I had early in the day, before I was head-butted by that clumsy mailpony.

“I think I’m going to like it here.”

Applebucking And Cupcakes

It’s a brand new day in Ponyville. The sun is high, and the birds are singing that I should probably wake up soon. Looking at the clock, I saw that it was around ten o'clock that morning. Back in my world, I never work up later than eight o'clock in the morning, so I shocked myself that I slept in so late. The last time I did that, it was at a particularly eventful party a few years ago, where I had to drag a friend’s drunken body home.

I walked downstairs to see Twilight sitting at the couch, reading a book about Botany, whilst eating a sandwich of some kind. She looked up at me with a smile.

“Good morning.” she said, “Sorry I didn’t wake you up sooner, but you seemed rather out of it.”

“That’s okay.” I said. I turned to the table, to see some recently purchased supplies. “What’s that over there?”

“That’s your toiletries. I noticed back in your world that you had toothbrushes like us, and I figured you could use one. So, I went down to the store and bought one for you. There’s also razors for that hair that’s growing on your face, and some soap for your baths.”

“Wow. Thanks, Twilight.” That was awfully kind of her to do.

“There’s also a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for you in the fridge, I didn’t think you would be ready for Dandelion sandwiches yet.”

“No. I don’t think so.” I chuckled at the thought of eating such a sandwich. The PB&J she made was very good. Just like what I used to make back home, when that was all I had to make food.

“So, what’s your plan today?” she asked, “I’m sure it’s not just hanging around the house all day.”

“I’m not sure.” I responded, “I suppose that I’ll take a look around.”

“Anywhere in particular?”

Looking through the recesses of my mind, I did remember one particular note I made the day before.

“I think I’ll go check out Sweet Apple Acres.” I said.

“That’s a good place to start. Just be careful, alright? Don’t want any more injuries from you.”

“It’s just a farm. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“Believe me, I know. One wrong step, and you fall right into a mysteriously appearing apple cellar door.”

“In that case, I think I will watch my step.” I opened the door, “See you later.”

“Matt?” She called out to me. I turned around to look at her, and she simply just stared. She wanted to say something, but she didn’t. She didn’t look concerned, or upset, whatever she was thinking. Instead, she chuckled it off. “Nevermind. You have a good day.”

I nodded and left, but was still ever so confused about that pause.

Walking through Ponyville to get to the path to Sweet Apple Acres was strangely different from last time. Many ponies took to looking at me, whispering at one another. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about; for all I knew, they were probably saying how weird or funny I looked. Nevermind that now, as the path to the farm was found, and I went on my merry way.

The small little forest I passed through was nice, and luckily, no animals took to attacking my face, or any other part of my body that I would miss if it was taken away from me. There was a squirrel that was eyeing me up, though, but it took off when I glared at it.

After maybe fifteen minutes of walking, I was there. Sweet Apple Acres; Applejack told me that it was a nice place, but damn it was massive! Probably the biggest farm I’d ever seen! There are probably bigger out there, but heck if I knew. I exhaled a slight ‘woah’ before making my way into the farm. I walked along the dirt road, carefully, so to avoid those sudden apple cellar doors that Twilight was talking about.

Soon, I saw a house not too far away. It looked rather nice and inviting. The place seemed quiet, so I figured I would knock on the door to say hi, maybe get a tour of the place. Applejack seemed like a nice pony when I first had a conversation with her, so it would be nice to talk to her when I wasn’t in a sour mood, like last time.

Before I could get to the front door, I heard the sound of grunting, followed by a loud hammering noise, and things dropping. It was enough to startle me out of my little moment of peace. Listening to the noise, I was able to detect where it was coming from, so I walked in that direction. Hopefully, this wasn’t going to lead to some kind of serious injury.

The noise got louder and louder, and as I got closer, I could see the apple trees shaking, and the delicious looking fruit subsequently falling to the ground below. I got to the destination and source of the noise, only to see Applejack kicking the trees rather hard, which made the apples fall. The sheer strength it must have taken to dislodge those apples must have been herculean by nature, and I spent more than a few seconds in impressed awe, until I remembered that I was there to see the farm and its inner workings. Besides, I didn’t want to stand there like a creep, and scare poor Applejack with my presence, should she turn around before I announced myself.

I cleared my throat, hoping to catch her attention. I did not. I cleared it again, but louder. Still, no luck to be found. Finally…

“Hey, Applejack.” I said in my friendliest tone.

It worked, but she was evidently startled by me in mid kick, completely missing the tree and falling to the ground.

“Oh crap! I’m so sorry!” I said, racing over to her, kneeling down to help her up. She raises her head up to me, and her cowboy hat had been moved over her eyes. I took the liberty of moving it back, so she wouldn’t be blinded.

“Ah, it’s okay.” she said, “Ya just startled me, that’s all.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean to do that. You could have been hurt.”

“Don’t worry about me, surgarcube. I’ve taken worse falls than that.” she gets up, dusting herself off. “What are ya'll doing here? Twilight need help with some moving?”

“No, it’s just me.”

“Just you?” she looks behind me, hoping to see another pony in the distance. Instead, she just saw more apple orchards. “What are you doing here, then?”

“I came to see you.” The moment I said that, a noticeable surprised blush appeared on her face. I stammered at the misunderstanding. “I-I mean to see you and the farm. You told me about it, so I wanted to see it for myself.”

“O-Oh!” the blush went away as instantly as it appeared, “Why didn’t ya say so? Got me all confused there for a second. Give me a minute.” She walks to the tree she tried to kick before. She was much more successful this time.

“You’re really strong.” I admitted to her, “Were you always like that?”

“Not always.” she said as she delivered another powerful kick to a tree, “It took me years to get like this. My older brother could do this when he was just a colt.”

“Still, it’s very impressive.”

“Thank you kindly.” she nodded to me.

“Is it just you that lives here?”

“Nope. Myself, mah brother, Granny Smith, and mah sister Applebloom all live here. We have our family get togethers every once in awhile, but it’s mainly just us.”

“What about your parents?” I notice that she stopped. A look of sadness falls on her face. “Oh, my apologies, I didn’t mean…”

“No. It’s fine. Just a sore subject. Ya mind if we don’t talk about it?”

“Yes, it’s perfectly fine. Please forgive me.”

“Don’t worry about it. Ya didn’t know.”

She kicked another tree. The feeling of breaking out of this awkward moment became very strong.

“So, you’re the Element of Honesty, huh?” I said with a smirk.

“Ya heard about that?”

“Twilight told me all about you guys…after I told her a bunch of hooey.”

Applejack stopped with her kicking, turning right back to me.

“What do ya mean ‘hooey’?”

“She asked me about my history; about how my species came to be. Needless to say…I didn’t know all that much about the beginning of my kind. So I…kind of made it up.”

“Ya lied?” she wondered. Not in a judgmental way, but in a more curious way.

“I knew a few things, like later on down the line in my history, but…yeah. I guess I did. It seemed fun at the time, but after Twilight told me about you guys…now I just feel like crap.”

“Why is that?”

“Because look at you! You and the others saved this world…multiple times! All of you represent something great! And best of all…everything about it is true! You’re all amazing, and I’m just a stupid former video game sales clerk from California, who doesn’t know anything.”

“Ah thought you were from Manhattan.”

“I was born in California, and then moved to Manhattan.”

Applejack walked up to me, placing a hoof on my shoulder. She smiled as I looked at her.

“Ah, don’t be like that. I’m not the smartest bulb in the tool-shed either.”

“But you’re a hero, and I’m just a big ol' liar.”

“Come on, now. There’s no use feeling sorry for yourself. Besides, it’s not like I asked for this hero business. Until then, I was just a simple farmpony with a pentient for apples, and I still am. Just because ya didn’t fight an army of Changelings, doesn’t mean ya aren’t special. Look at me? Look at you! You’re the only human ever to be in Equestria! You should be happy!”

“Well…I guess that is pretty exciting.”

“Exactly! Keep a chin up.” she moves a hoof under my chin, raising it so I can make eye contact with her. “Ya may not be too bright, but you’re also a good person. Who knows? Since you’re here, maybe you’ll find your true calling.”

“Not too bright, huh?” I chuckled, “You really are the Element of Honesty.” She chuckled back. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.” she pats me on the back, “Hey, since you’re here, wanna help me with some applebuckin’?”

“Applebucking? The heck is that?”

“It’s this!” she kicks a tree with her hind legs, and the apples fall into a basket below. “That’s applebuckin’!”

“I don’t think I can do that.” I say, laughing and shaking my head at the same time.

“Aw phooey, ah don’t believe that! How do ya know, if ya haven’t tried?”

I couldn’t believe I was actually considering doing this. There was no way that I was strong enough to kick all the apples off the tree, and I knew it. Still, I thought that there was no harm at least giving it a shot.

“Alright, fine.” I said, standing up, “I’ll give it a shot. What do you want me to do?”

“Get down on all fours, and kick the tree.”

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Very serious.”

I do as she asked. Facing away from the tree, I got down on all fours, my hands planted firmly into the ground, ready to kick the tree.

“Try not to enjoy this too much.” I turned to her.

“I’ll do my best.” she smirked.

I paused, trying to figure if I had the courage and strength to buck this tree up. I wondered if my arms were strong enough to hold my weight, or if my legs were strong enough to get apples off the tree. Finally, I just said ‘to hell with it’ and in an instant, raised my legs and kicked the tree. That would have been cool if that’s all that happened. Unfortunately, the moment I hit the tree, the impact caused me to jerk forward, then slam my face into the dirt. That hurt.

Applejack however, was busting a gut. I’d say her laugh was cute, if I wasn’t currently distracted by a face full of ground. I rolled onto my back, and got up, spitting out any excess dirt that made its way into my mouth, as Applejack continued to laugh.

“You said you wouldn’t enjoy this!” I said.

“Ah said I’d do my best. Ah said nothing suggestin’ that ah promised.”

“Don’t use your fancy semantics to muddle the issue!” I said with a chortle. For some reason, she stopped with her laughs, and just looked at me with a grin. “What?” I asked, confused about her look.

“Nothin’” she replied, “Just reminded me of somethin’, that’s all.” She glances over at the barrel of apples, “Well, guess I have to put these in the wagon.” She clamped her teeth down on the barrel, dragging it to the nearby wagon.

“Let me help.” I said. I picked up the barrel with relative ease, and placed it down onto the wagon.

“Thank you very much.” she said, “See? You’re not completely useless.”

“Only partially useless.” I joked. She laughed.

As I continued to try to think about what I reminded her of, I heard a voice call out in the distance. It sounded like a loud old woman.

“Monster! Monster!” the voice said, “There’s a monster on the farm!” I looked to see this frail old pony screaming at me on the front porch of the house. “Big Mac! There’s a monster tryin’ to eat Applejack!”

“Uh-Oh!” Applejack panics, “Ya better run!”

“It’s just an old pony. What can she do?”

“I’m not talkin’ about Granny Smith, I’m talking about Big Mac!”

“Big Mac? The burg…”

The thought was erased, when I finally got a look at Big Mac. He was a hulking, red pony, with murder in his eyes. He began his bull rush to me, with all the rage and fury of a locomotive. My reaction was as followed…

“OH SHIT!” I screamed, and took off running.

“Big Mac!” Applejack pleaded, “Please stop!”

I didn’t hear any stopping, so I kept on running. I ran and ran and ran, to the point where my legs were straining. Even with the adrenaline rushing through me, it wasn’t enough to outrun this beast of a farmpony. Suddenly, I felt a large impact from behind, flipping me into the air, where I spun around for a good five seconds, before plummeting onto my back on the ground below. I was pretty sure I left a decent sized crater in the process. As I laid there on the ground, I could hear this Big Mac rushing back for another round before…

“BIG MACINTOSH!” Applejack yelled. The sounds of hooves screeching on the dirt was heard. The next thing I saw come into view, was Applejack’s concerned face. “You alright?”

“Ow…” was all I could say, before she looked back at the currently out my field of vision Big Macintosh.

“Big Mac!” she said sternly, “This ain’t a monster! This here is the human friend I was talkin’ about, remember?”

“Oh…oh dear…” I heard this hulking deep voice say. I saw him come into by my field of view. “Ah am so sorry, mister.”

“Ah…” I wheezed, “It’s okay. I’ve had worse…” Just then, I felt an instant and massive amount of pressure on my nether regions, as three small ponies trampled my bottom half, all the while laughing and playing. “OH! WORSE JUST CAME!” I screamed, as I held onto my ‘bits’.

“Applebloom!” Applejack yelled, “Look what you and your friends did!” She leaned down to me. “Are you okay?” I shook my head. “Did they…hit your special area?” I nodded rapidly. “Would you like some ice?” I nodded again. “Big Mac, help him up.”

I felt Big Mac throw me up onto his back, as I was carried to the house.

I sat in a chair in the dining room, holding a bag of ice against my sensitive area, as six ponies stare at me, in varying states of emotion.

“How are ya feelin’?” Applejack asked me.

“I’ll be fine…eventually.” I have a habit of repeating myself, “Thanks for the ice.”

“It’s no problem, really.” she looks at the other ponies at the table, “Now, what do ya'll have to say for yourselves?”

Simultaneously, all of them said “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I said, “You want to introduce me, Applejack?”

“Sure thing. Matt, this is Big Macintosh.” She pointed to the big red pony, who nodded at me. “This is Granny Smith.” The old pony gave me a slight wave. “And this is Applebloom.”

“Howdy.” Applebloom said.

“What about the other two ponies?” I asked, noting the two next to Applebloom.

“I’m Sweetie Belle.” said the white pony with a purple mane of different shades, she looked very familiar, kind of like a young Rarity.

“And I’m Scootaloo.” said the orange one. “And we’re…”

The three little ponies stood up on the table, standing proud at what they are about to say.

“THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!” they yelled.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders? What do you mean?”

“We don’t have our cutie marks, and we’re on a quest to get them!”

“Cutie marks?” I asked.

“Yeah, cutie marks.” Applejack interjected, “See this here?” She turned her behind to me, and I saw a mark that looked like a tattoo. It was the image of three apples.

“Why didn’t I notice that before?” I asked quietly. There were two possible explanations; either that I was a blind idiot, or that I never had the inclination to look at the rear of the ponies. “So, you don’t have one of those?”

“Nope!” Applebloom said, “Look!” They all turned their posteriors to me. I quickly waved them off, shielding my eyes, because they were very close and staring at little pony butt was as awkward as it is writing it right now.

“Gah! Okay, I get it!” I said. They turned back. “How do you get these…cutie marks?”

“Ya find your special talent, and it appears like magic.” Applejack said. “It sometimes takes awhile for a pony to get their cutie marks, and Applebloom and her friends have been at it for a while.”

“We’ll get our cutie marks someday, you’ll see!” Sweetie Belle said.

“I’m sure I will.” I replied, “Well, I think I should get going.”

“Awwwww!!!” The Cutie Mark Crusaders said. “Aren’t you gonna stay for lunch?” Applebloom gave me these crazy adorable eyes. If I wasn’t currently in pain, I would have agreed, but…

“Sorry. Not today. Maybe some other time. It was nice meeting all of you.” I got up from the chair, ice still being held against me, as I limped towards the door.

“Matt, wait!” Applejack called out to me. I turned around. “Do you…want a job?” The others turned to her in confusion.

“What kind of job?”

“Applebuck season is coming up, and we could use an extra hoof…I mean…hand.”

“You saw me try to applebuck. It didn’t turn out so well.”

“Actually, the job is more along the lines of carrying the apples, rather than picking them. It takes awhile for us to put the apples in the wagon, but with your hands, it would certainly speed things up. What do you say?”

It didn’t take much hesitance for me to say…

“Yeah, sure. When do you want me to start?”

“It’s not for a few weeks, but you can come on by anytime before then, so I can give you a tour of the farm.”

“That sounds nice.” I said, “I’ll see you soon, then. I’m going to go get better now.”

“Alright.” Applejack laughed, “You go on now, and get well soon.”

I waved them all goodbye, as I exited the house, and soon the farm.

Walking back to town, I thought about how nice it was of Applejack to offer me a job. I suppose that I must have done something right for her to let me have such a gig. It will sure beat sitting around Twilight’s house for most days doing squat.

As I approached the entrance of town, I saw a large crowd gathered outside of Twilight’s house. On closer inspection, I saw them all either wearing hats, or brandishing cameras. They were asking a variety of questions simultaneously, so I didn’t know what they were asking about. Just then, one looked over and saw me. His eyes went wide on contact.

“It’s him!” he yelled, “It’s the creature!”

They all turned to me, and started to barrel towards me like a stampede. I had to act fast; the way to Twilight’s was blocked. The only area that wasn’t obscured by ponies was that bakery that Twilight mentioned. Fighting the pain, and dropping the bag of ice, I booked it over to the establishment, dived right in, closed the door and locked it shut.

“Hey Matt! How’s it going?” I heard Pinkie Pie’s voice behind me. I turned around to see her giving a grey Pegasus a box of blueberry muffins. “Why did you lock the door?”

“Pinkie! You have to help me! I….” I looked at the grey Pegasus, “Have we met?”

“I hit you yesterday. I’m Derpy Hooves. Hi.” she said timidly.

“Oh, hey. I’m Matt. Pleased to meet you.” I looked back at Pinkie, “I think there are reporters outside, asking questions!”

“How do you know they are reporters?”

“Is it true that you and Princess Luna are in a sexual relationship?!” one reporter said from behind the door.

“Yep, those are reporters alright.” she looks at Derpy, “Here, take the back exit.”

Derpy takes the box by the string at the top.

“You think he’ll like it?” she asked.

“Of course! Nopony can resist a box of muffins!” Pinkie assured her.

I didn’t know what they were talking about, probably some relationship stuff with Derpy. That’s cool I guess, but it wasn’t helping me with my predicament. After she left, Pinkie gestured to me to walk over to her, telling me that the door can hold back the savage reporters at bay.

“Look at you, Mr. Popular!” she said, “Only here two days and already the town is swarming all over you!”

“Don’t they have anything better to do? I don’t even know Princess Luna!”

“They’re always like that. One time, they thought Twilight and Rainbow Dash were dating. It’s so silly! Come with me, I could use your help with something.” Pinkie went to the front door, flipping the Open sign to Closed, then walking to the kitchen.

I followed her inside to see a stack of baking ingredients on the table.

“What do you need help with?”

“I’m making cupcakes!” she said, grabbing a frighteningly large knife.

“Gah! What’s with the knife?!”

“To cut the lemons, silly!” she says, cutting a couple lemons. “I’m making lemon cupcakes for Fluttershy’s birthday, and I need a little help. Can you read off the ingredients for me?”

“Oh. Yeah sure.” I grabbed the book titled The Big Book of Cupcakes, and searched through it for the recipe that Pinkie was looking for.

Once I found it, it was fairly smooth sailing. The author wrote the book in cursive, so some words were hard to read, but I got the hang of it on closer inspection. Whatever ingredients weren’t present, I helped Pinkie find them. As I was finding the final ingredients to make the cupcakes, I heard her singing a jaunty tune about making cupcakes. It was so catchy; I got the strange feeling that I was going to get that stuck in my head for a very long time.

“What is that?” I asked.

“It’s just a little song I sing, everytime I make cupcakes. You like it?”

“I kind of do. How does it go?”

She sang it to me in full. Now it was definitely going to get stuck in my head. Thinking about it now, it still is.

“That’s about it!” she exclaimed, “Thanks for the help, Matt!”

“No problem. Is it okay that you closed the store, because of me?”

“Of course! It was a slow day today, and I needed the time to make these cupcakes. So, you showed up at the perfect time!”

I looked around, noting that everything felt less like a bakery, and more like a home that had a store inside it.

“Does anyone live here?”

“Yep. I live on the top floor, while Mr. and Mrs. Cake, along with the twins, live here. It’s a bakery, and a home all in one! Isn’t it fancypants?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty neat actually. The rent must be killer on it.”

“I get to stay here for free, silly billy! As long as I run the store when they’re gone, it’s no trouble at all!”

“They won’t be mad that it’s closed now, will they?”

“Nah. Besides, I have a good excuse. Hand me the flour, would you?” I give her the flour, which she pours all of it into the mixing bowl. She stirs it furiously, till it tuned into cupcake batter. “Are the reporters still outside?”

I look over at the front door. The shouting silhouettes are still there.

“Yep, they’re still there.”

“Oki doki loki. Wanna try the batter?” she hands over a spatula.

“How are you holding that?” I asked.

“We can always do this! You never noticed?”

“But...you have hooves.”

“I know, it’s a mystery to me too! You wanna try the batter or not?”

Not one to miss out on the opportunity to try cake batter, I took the spatula, and had a taste. I’ve had lemon cupcakes before, but none of that prepared me for the sweetness of that batter. Even in its incomplete form, it was surprisingly delicious. An audible ‘Mmmmmm’ was produced from me, and Pinkie started to giggle, happy that I thought it was delicious.

“Well, that’s good enough for me.” she said, putting the batter into the cupcake tray, and placing it in the oven. “Now, to take care of those reporters.” She brushed past me, and went to the front door. She motioned for me to hide, and I did just that. I heard the door open, followed by the sound of flashing cameras, and more incoherent questions. “Hi!” she said.

“Where is he?!” one reporter said, “Where’s the creature?”

“I don’t know, I…OH MY GOSH! THERE HE IS!” she shouts. I then heard the reporters stampede away from Sugar Cube Corner. “Okay, Matt. They’re gone.”

I emerged from my hiding spot.

“What did you point at to get them to leave?”

“At some random bush; they’ll believe anything these days.” We both shared a good laugh at that.

I stuck around until the cupcakes were finished. When the timer went off, I took the baked good out. I assisted Pinkie in putting the frosting on it, making sure that every cupcake had an even amount of frosting on it. She noted that one time, Twilight went a little nuts, and messed with the frosting on the cupcakes, to the point where there was only a drop of it present. It was hard to imagine Twilight going crazy like that, but stranger things have happened.

With two extra cupcakes made, we both had our own final taste test. It was even more delectable baked, than it was in batter form. Both me and Pinkie let out a ‘MMmmmmmm’ at the same time.

“You were right. It was delicious!” she said, “Thanks for helping me with the baking, and for the entertainment before then.”

“Anytime.” I said, “When’s Fluttershy’s birthday, anyway?”

“It’s not for a few months. I just wanted to bake cupcakes with you. See you later!” She bounced back into the kitchen, once again, leaving me dumbfounded that she did that. I couldn’t be mad at her though, doing something as mundane as making cupcakes felt like a fun experience with Pinkie around.

I walked back to Twilight’s with nary a reporter in sight. The pain I was feeling is now gone, though I anticipated it was going to make a return the next morning. Opening the door, I was greeted by Twilight and Spike, waiting for me.

“Where have you been?” Twilight said, “I was worried sick! Also, there were all these reporters around, asking questions…”

“I’m okay, Twilight. After visiting Applejack, I had to hide over at Sugar Cube Corner to get away from the reporters.”

“Thank goodness.” she went over to me, giving me a big hug. After a couple seconds, I heard her sniffing. “Why do you smell of dirt and cake batter?”

“It’s a long story.” I chuckled, “I think now, I’m going to take a bath, and have a nice rest.”

“Okay.” Twilight let me go. I was walking over to the bathroom, when she stopped me again. “Matt, wait.” I turned back around. “About what you told me, yesterday. The story about where you came from.”

I knew the jig was up, She saw through my story, and now I was really going to get it. I had my apology ready to go.

“Twilight, I…”

“It’s okay.” she said, stopping whatever speech I had planned. “I knew what you were telling me wasn’t true. Well…not entirely anyway.”

“You knew? How?”

“The books at the library we went to. I read a couple of them, when I was searching for ones about portals. Also, a few of the books at your apartment had some useful information as well. I started to have an inkling, once you got to the Abe Lincoln vampire hunter bit. I read that back in Manhattan. That was fun.” She smirked.

“You’re...you’re not mad at me?”

“Of course not. I just wanted to see what you were going to say. I have to say, it was pretty enjoyable listening to you spin a yarn like that.”

“But, don’t you think I’m stupid now?”

“Why in the world would I think that? You may not be super smart, but stupid? Not in a million years.”

“What about your book?”

She looks back at her journal. She shrugs with a smile.

“I think readers would prefer legends to the truth. Besides, when you were gone, I added in some facts, just to spice it up a bit. You’ve given the ponies something to talk about, once they read this book.”

Thinking about all the guilt I was carrying for most of the day, I let it all out with a hearty laugh.

“You have no idea how much better I feel, Twi. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. But, now I want to ask you something, and you need to be honest with me this time.”

“Sure, anything.”

“Tell me why you smell of dirt and cake batter, and I don’t care how long the story is.”

I shook my head, smiling. She and Spike sat down on the couch, awaiting my tale of mishaps, misunderstandings, and baked goods.

“Okay. I’ll tell you, and this time, it’ll be the absolute truth.”

Crazy Heart(strings)

It was just supposed to be a normal day. Waking up, I noticed a note placed by my bed; it was from Twilight.

Dear Matt,

Spike and I are headed to Canterlot for some important business with the Princess. We will be back by the time night falls. Hope you slept well, have a good day.

Twilight Sparkle

I don’t know what exactly that business was, probably checking on the progress of the spell Celestia was working on. Then again, it’s only been a few days, and she said it was going to take months to complete. After my morning stretch, bath, and looking over the many bruises that I had accumulated over the past couple days, I had a small breakfast of some nutritious fruit.

I have to say, I was really getting a hang of this healthy thing. My stomach, which had a slight pudge for most of my life, started to go down a little. With no extremely fatty foods in sight, with the exception to Sweet Apple Acres pies, or Sugar Cube Corner’s many treats, I was going to lose weight in no time.

After that, I began to plan my day. It was originally going to entail making my way to Fluttershy’s house, being the pony that I interacted with the least during their stay in Manhattan, I had hoped to get to know her better, and maybe break through the timid exterior that she had shown me. Maybe, if I had time after that, I would seek out Rainbow Dash, though a part of me felt that she would require a whole other day to work through, given that we weren’t exactly on the best of terms when she was in my apartment.

Putting on my clothes, I was ready to go out the door. Upon opening said door, however, there was somepony standing in my way. An aquamarine colored pony, with a shining blue and white mane, and a cutie mark that looked like a lyre, one of those stringed instruments I would see in fancy restaurants. I glanced at the mark quickly, just in case she would mistake me for some kind of pony pervert. That day at Applejack’s had gotten me curious about the marks on the other ponies behinds. Strange to admit, I know, but it had to be said.

“Hello?” I asked the pony.

“Hi, Sir!” she said, with an enthusiastic grin on her face. “My name is Lyra Heartstrings. I see you are the new resident of Ponyville, and I bid you welcome!”

“Oh…thanks.” I said. It was nice to see somepony I didn’t know, greet me with such a warm welcome, rather than being swarmed by the paparazzi. “My name is Matt.”

“Pleased to meet you, Matt. I was just going door to door, selling some perfume, and I was wondering if the mare of the house would like to sample some?”

“Twilight’s not here, unfortunately. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. Hey, would you like to try some?”

“I don’t know, I’m really not much of a perfume kind of guy.”

“Oh, sure you are. I bet you would be perfect to decide if she’ll like it or not. Maybe you could give it to her on one of those romantic dates?”

“She’s just a friend, but…” A thought then crossed my mind. She had been kind enough to allow me to live with her, bought me things, and gave me a bed to sleep in. Maybe I could repay her, by getting her things. However, perfume could send the wrong message, as I wasn’t looking for anything close to a romantic relationship with her. Then again, I thought that it couldn’t hurt to give it a shot. “You know what? Sure. I’ll sample some.”

“Great!” her eyes lit up like Christmas. She pulls a bottle from her pouch, as she sprays a generous portion on a nice white rag. She holds it up, gesturing me to come closer. “Tell me what you think.”

I lean down to sniff the rag. It doesn’t smell like much, but what it did smell like was really strong. It made my eyes really heavy.

“It…almost smells like….”

Suddenly, I had the urge to black out. And I totally did.

Chloroform? Really? Of all the things that could have knocked me out in Equestria, it was chloroform? I would have preferred getting hit in the back of a head with a stick. Great, I probably jinxed myself by even saying that. Now I’m going to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life. But future events had to wait; right now, I was unconscious, and the cause was this Lyra Heartstrings.

I began to slowly but surely regain consciousness. My vision was extremely blurry, but I could tell that I was in a dark room, lit only by a single swinging light. Like the kinds I would see in those detective movies back in my dimension, where the hard boiled cop would interrogate the witness, making him crack under pressure. This was not a police interrogation however, far from it.

“Subject’s skin is a little paler than anticipated.” I heard a familiar voice say. “Could change if exposed to light for an extended period of time, maybe?” I recognized the voice, it was definitely this Lyra chick. I then felt a hoof against my stomach. “A little squishy in the abdomen, but definitely has a fitness to him in other areas.”

Suddenly, I felt a wet tongue lick the side of my face. That was a wake-up call, if I ever felt one. My eyes snap completely open.

“Subject tastes of nothing. That doesn’t surprise me.”

“What the hell?!” I shouted. Lyra turned to me, ceasing her talks into a giant recording device, with buttons made to accommodate her hooves. She shuts it off, and walks over to me.

“Ah, you’re awake. How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve been kidnapped! How do you think I feel?!”

“Apologies for the charade, but I didn’t think you would come with me willingly.”

“What do you…” suddenly, I felt…nothing much really. This is usually the part where I would discover that my hands and feet were chained to something, or that I was tied to a chair, but that moment never came. I was free to roam around the room as I pleased. All that was there was a table with the aforementioned recording device, that light, and Lyra. “You’re not very good at this, are you?”

“With what?” she asked.

“Kidnapping. Aren’t you going to torture me, or something?” Great, I was being a real idiot. Giving her ideas like that.

“What? No!” she said, “Why would I do that? That’s sick!”

“Then, why did you knock me out, and bring me to this dark basement?”

“It’s not that dark. There’s a light above you, see? And I brought you here, so I can study you.”

“Get in line, Lyra. Twilight is already doing that.”

“But that’s not fair! I got here first!”

“What are you talking about?”

Lyra’s horn glowed a soft green, as a book floated over to the table. I walked over to it, as she slammed the book down, opening it to show a detailed drawing of a human male and female. She may have been slightly crazed, but she drew very well.

“I knew about the humans long before Ms. Sparkle did! I told them that nearly hairless, two legged creatures with hands existed, but nopony ever believed me! Now, that you have appeared, it’s Twilight that gets all the credit…not me! I deserve to be the one to see how you work!”

“How did you know about us in the first place?”

“In my dreams! I dreamt of meeting you...touching you…holding you, and now I have you…I can do what I want!” she flashed a crazy smile at me, and I slowly backed away. “Now take off your pants, and let me see what you got!”

“Hell no!” I shouted, “What’s with you ponies trying to get my pants off? Only Rarity had any success with that.”

“Did she now?” Lyra asked with a sly look.

“No, not like that! It was for…clothes and stuff…the point is that I’m not going to do it!”

“Oh fine, have it your way, I suppose.” her crazy smile disappeared into something friendlier, which bewildered me.

“Wah? That’s it?”

“Well, it’s not like I’m going to rip your clothes off and examine you from top to bottom, if you weren’t going to consent to it.”

“But you chloroformed me! You already did something without my consent!”

“Okay, that’s true. Alright, let’s say that I didn’t drug you. That I went up to your door and said ‘Hey, I’m Lyra Heartstrings, and I was wondering if I could examine your body’, what would you have said?”

“NO!”

“See what I mean? Now this whole thing is meaningless!”

“What? You seriously didn’t have a backup plan in case I said no?”

“I didn’t quite think that far ahead.”

“Why couldn’t have you just examined me, when I was unconscious?”

She paused. I’m an idiot, once again.

“That’s a good idea. I’m going to drug you again! THEN I can do as I please, and there will be nothing you can do about it!”

“Well, that’s no good. Because now I’m expecting it! You try it, and I’ll fight you!”

“Like heck you will, come here!”

Just then, she lunged at me, cloth in hoof, as she tackled me to the floor. We wrestled as she attempted to shove the chloroform soaked cloth back into my face, but I was having none of it. I wasn’t going to let her examine me without my consent, and by god I was going to do everything I could to get her off me. With a sudden bout of strength, I pushed her off me with mighty force, as she fell onto the ground.

“I told you I was going to fight you!” Silence. She wasn’t responding. “Uhhh…Lyra? You alright?” Still nothing. Worried that I might have injured her, I walked over to her body and turned it over. She had landed on her own cloth. She was out cold.

“Oh, for the love of god.” I said in disbelief, meeting a palm with my face. These situations just get worse all the time. Now, my captor was out like a light, and I was free to go.

I walked up to the basement door, opening it up to reveal…that I was still in Twilight’s house the whole time. I guess that explained why nopony questioned Lyra as she was dragging my body across the gravel, and why I didn’t have dirt on me whatsoever. What this also meant, was that I couldn’t just leave Lyra down there. After a long pause, filled with sighs, I went back down to the basement, picking up Lyra, and laying her down on the couch.

As I checked her for any injuries, I had to admit that she was pretty cute, when she wasn’t trying to knock me out for disturbing needs. Using the first aid skills I learned from Twilight, I bandaged up a minor scrape that she received during our tussle.

She didn’t wake up for another hour. I had a few things to do while waiting, like read one of those science books that Twilight loved so much. I don’t know what came over me then, as the book I read was extremely boring. What I wouldn’t have given for a magazine to read. I picked the next best thing, and read Twilight’s journal she left lying around the house. Skimming through it, I saw her observations in Equestria, and some pretty neat pictures too. I looked over my section, seeing that she really did write down most of the silliness I spouted, along with the added bonus of actual facts.

Lyra gradually woke up, groaning as her eyes opened. I ceased reading the book, as I went back to her side. Her eyes opened, staring right at me.

“Urgh, What happened?” she asked.

“You kind of knocked yourself out. I had to bring you upstairs.”

“Hey, you didn’t try anything while I was out, did you?”

“What kind of guy do you think I am, exactly?”

“I don’t know how human males behave, when there’s an unconscious female present!”

“First of all, I didn’t do anything. Second of all, you drugged me first. How do I know you didn’t try anything?”

“Because, I told you that I wasn’t going to do anything without your permission!”

“How do I know that? What if you took advantage of me, then put my clothes back on without me knowing, and this is all an act?”

“Wha…I…NO! Definitely not! Besides, you’re human! I may be curious about the human male as much as the next scientific pony, but not THAT curious!”

“Exactly, and I didn’t do anything because not only am I a chivalrous guy, but also because you’re a pony!”

“How long are you going to keep riding that scooter, when you realize that there are no human women around?”

“I…” Huh. As strange as this conversation was going, she was completely right. “You have a point there. I’m going to have to think about that.” Then, it hit me. “Well, I won’t be a human for long, because Princess Celestia is going to change me into one of you! So there!”

“Really?” she wondered.

“Yeah! And once that happens, I won’t have to worry about that for as long as I live!”

“Worry about what? Being attracted to ponies?”

“I didn’t say that!”

“Yes you did! You want to become one of us, so you won’t feel bad when you eventually find us attractive!”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, you crazy ass mare! I said nothing of the sort!”

“Then, why are you changing yourself?”

“So I can fit in!”

“And so you can date other ponies!”

“Will you stop that?! Sure, you’re all kind of cute, and huggable and stuff, but attractive? No! I’m not attracted to you ponies! And I never will be attracted to you ponies, and nothing you can do will change th…”

In an instant, she latched onto my body, as her forelegs and hind legs wrapped themselves around me, as she drove her lips into mine. I stood up as quickly as I could, as she continued to ravage my face with the sloppiest of kisses I have ever experienced. I grabbed her hips, as I mercilessly tried to push her off of me, as her tongue invaded the depths of my mouth, and continually lapped up my tongue in the process. She wasn’t budging, and had no intention to let go, for as long as she wanted to.

“Mmmph...STOP IT!” I yell with a free breath.

“NO!” she yells back, forcing another kiss.

I backed myself into the kitchen cabinets, as my attempts to get her off of me became more and more futile. Her horn glowed, and my belt flew off my pants and across the room at blinding speed, knocking over a vase. With no belt to hold them up, my pants descended to my knees.

“Mmmph…LET GO OF ME!” I break away to yell again.

“NEVER!” she dives right back in.

My flailing limbs knocked nearby plates and cups down on the floor, before I was forced to move elsewhere. I stumbled again, and was slammed against a nearby wall. Soon, much to my surprise, I felt my body beginning to surrender to her, as my pushes became caresses, and my eyes relaxing to the feeling of her in my mouth. This may have been a science experiment for her, but dammit, it was an interesting one.

Just then, as my hand started to move down her back…

“Matt, we’re home!” Twilight called out, walking through the front door with Spike. “You won’t believe the day I….” she then ceased with what she had to say.

We stopped. Both Lyra and I separated ourselves from each other's mouths, as we looked at Twilight and Spike, both absolutely mortified at what they were seeing.

“Is this the part where I say ‘what the hay is going on?’” she queried.

“Is this the part where I say ‘It’s not what it looks like?’” I respond.

A flash from a light went off. We all look to see Spike holding up a camera, with a devilish smile on his face.

“I think the newspaper would like this!” He said, running off into the darkness of the night.

“Spike!” I yelled after him. It was no use.

Lyra finally let go of me, brushing herself off with her hooves, and straightening out her mane.

“Well…” she said, “Thanks for the…uh…experiment. I’m going to…uh…go now…and…do…stuff….” she trots back to the basement, bringing back her book and tape recorder with her. “So…uh….yeah….nice meeting you…and…take care with the…thing…bye.” She then rocketed out of the house in both embarrassment and fright.

As for me; after pulling my pants back up, I collapsed against the wall, sliding down into a sitting position. Twilight carefully walked up to my shocked state of being, and sat down next to me. Interestingly enough, she didn’t look angry, but a slight smirk formed on her face.

“So…how was your day?” she asked.

“I was drugged, kidnapped, and I believe I just got taken advantage of. Otherwise, it was alright. How about yours?”

“Well, Canterlot was pretty crowded. The Wonderbolts were in town, and so I watched Rainbow Dash try to get onto their team for the millionth time.”

“How did that go?”

“She might have a shot.”

“That’s cool.” I said, “How’s Celestia doing?”

“She’s good. She hasn’t started on the spell yet. Said that duties were getting in the way, and told me to apologize for her.”

“That’s alright. Tell her there’s no rush or anything.”

“Yeah. I can tell.” she giggled. I shot her a look of annoyance. “Sorry, I should have told you about Lyra. She is a bit…eccentric.”

“I think that’s just putting it mildly.”

“So, what exactly happened, anyway?”

“I think I was planning on buying you perfume.”

“Do I smell bad?”

“No. I felt like doing something nice. Turned out the perfume Lyra was selling was chloroform. I don’t think you would like that very much.”

“I don’t think anypony would like that.”

“Then, she was talking about how she wanted to study me, with my permission. It was really weird.”

“Why didn’t she just study you when you were unconscious?”

“That’s what I said! Then she tried to drug me again! One thing led to another, and…”

“She had her tongue down your throat.” Twilight finished the story for me.

“Yeah, that about covers it.”

“Are you going to be alright? You look out of it.”

“Sure. I’ll be fine. I might need some psychiatric help for a few…hundred…thousand...years…but I think I’ll be alright. Are you mad at me?”

“I’m actually trying not to laugh, right now.”

“Are you serious?”

“Very.”

“Go ahead and laugh. I really doubt that it’s going to hurt my…”

She laughs. It’s loud, very loud. She was laughing so hard, that she could hardly breathe when it was getting to the end of her guffaw fest. I was wrong. It did kind of annoy me. Still, I couldn’t imagine how she must have felt, walking into a situation like that, and I don’t even want to.

“I’m sorry…” she said, nearly in tears from laughing so hard. “Sweet Celestia, that was just too funny.”

“I’m glad somepony found some enjoyment out of this.”

“I don’t know. You seemed to enjoy it.”

“Don’t start. This is going to scar me for life. By tomorrow, I’m going to be in the papers as the human that made out with a pony.”

“It’s no better than that one time, when somepony caught another making out with a tub of jelly.”

“Oh my god! That happened? Ponies are weird. Not all of them. But still…”

“All I’m trying to say is…don’t worry about it. Yeah, you’re probably going to be hounded for a while, but it’ll pass. Besides, you’re going to be a pony soon anyway. So, you can make out with all the mares you want when that happens.

“Oh, good for me.” I say with a great deal of sarcasm, “I’m furiously anticipating that.”

“You want me to clean up the mess you two made?”

“No, I got it. You go get ready for bed or whatever. I’m just going to stay here for a bit. Sorry I broke a couple of your plates…and that vase over there.” I pointed at the shattered vase, where my belt was lying on top of the wreckage.

“I’ll take care of that.” she said. She walked over to the vase, and used her magic to mend it back together. My belt came floating back to me, and I grabbed it out of the air. “There, good as new. Next time somepony takes off your belt, make sure it doesn’t hit anything fragile.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I chuckled.

Twilight nodded, as she went upstairs.

I sat still for a few minutes, reflecting on the crazy events of the day. Not a week into this world, and already I was bruised, trampled, and made out with. I was seriously rethinking my exclamation about how I was going to like it in Equestria. I wanted to close my eyes, in hopes that I was just having the weirdest dream in the world. Something to tell people about…or not tell about.

The oddest thing was, all I could really think about how strange it was that I felt compelled to continue the madness that was happening when Lyra was full on making out with me.

I was going to need some serious therapy.

Friends and Family

“Another day, another dungeon.” Daring Do said, as she tipped her hat.

Using her flawless agility, she escaped from the spiky tomb, as she made her way to encounter the Ahuizotl once again, to retrieve what had been stolen from her.

“This is rather interesting.” I told Twilight, “It’s very exciting, but also very familiar.”

I was reading the first in a series of books about a Pegasus adventurer named Daring Do. Twilight convinced me to give it a read, once I told her that her house appeared to be lacking in imaginatively stimulating reading material. Though films and television existed in Equestria, Ponyville was an interestingly media free town. The only way to see either of the two, was to go to the hospital, and as far as I know, I didn’t have any broken bones. My shoulder and back have been killing me though.

As for the book, I was almost done with Daring Do and The Quest for The Sapphire Stone, and was enjoying it very much. Still, something about it was pecking at the back of my brain.

“Familiar?” Twilight asked, “There aren’t any other books like it, as far as I know.”

“I mean, there’s a series of films where I came from, that remind me of this. Instead of a female Pegasus, it’s a guy named Indiana Jones.”

“Really? How does he compare to Daring Do?”

“Well, he was kind of an icon back in the day, even if his later adventures received…mixed results from the fans.” That was putting mildly.

“Then Daring Do is already a step up.” she said, “There have been over twenty books on her, and none of them received a bad review. Sure, some books were better than others, but none of them were below par.”

“If they’re as good as this, then I think me and Daring Do are going to get along just fine.”

“Oh no you don’t.” Twilight takes away the book from me, “You’ve been reading that book all morning, with barely any breaks. You’re going outside.”

“What? I don’t want to go outside! You know what’s out there!”

“Yes yes, the newspaper came in, talking about your affair with Lyra.”

“More like attempted rape!”

“You had your hands dangerously close to her flank!”

“You weren’t there, Twilight. I was…I was there when the strength of me fell.” I said in a deep and overly-dramatic voice.

“Don’t be so overly dramatic. Besides, I told you to get over it.” she grabs me by the shirt collar, and pushes me towards the door, even with my resistance. “Go outside and get some sun. You look pale!”

Within seconds I was flung out the door, onto the ground. What got her so pushy today? She was probably tired of my whining and moaning about the various mishaps I get myself into. It was Friday, the end of the week…the end of my first week in Ponyville. I’m still sore from all the injuries I had sustained during my stay. Sure, there were some good moments, but there’s no excusing the fact that I was still in pain.

As I slowly walked through town, I saw the townsfolk looking over at me, giggling at the very sight of me. Did they all read the newspaper? Probably, what else did they have better to do? I haven’t read it myself, but I was sure that it was nothing but tabloid garbage, with paragraphs of fake interviews saying how in love we were or something. No sign of Lyra; she was probably just as embarrassed as I was.

I neared the edge of town, and saw a lone house up a small hill. During my tour with Twilight, she said that that particular house belonged to Fluttershy. The thought then occurred to me that I hadn’t visited her yet, and that was my plan yesterday, before the Lyrapist incident.

Ignoring the laughing of the citizens, I made my way out of Ponyville, and up the hill to Fluttershy’s house. I hoped that she was home, and wouldn’t be too scared of my sudden appearance at her doorstep. I’ve only had one conversation with her, and she looked very nervous and…well…shy. Maybe today was when I could show her my more friendly side.

Stepping up to the door, I made sure my hair wasn’t a disheveled mess, and my clothes weren’t too wrinkly, and then knocked on the door three times. There was no response, but I heard the sound of hooves walking on the wood floor inside. Just to make sure, I knocked three times again.

“Just a minute…” I heard Fluttershy’s soft voice say. A couple seconds pass, and the door opens. The instant she saw me, she ducked her head down in a slight blush. “Oh, it’s you!” she said in slight surprise. “W-what are you doing here?”

“Hi, Fluttershy. I…I came to see you.”

“You did?” she wondered, “How come?”

“I realize that we didn’t talk much, back in New York, so I thought that I’d come here, to get to know you better.”

“Oh, I-I see. I figured you’d be busy with your…um…other activities.”

“What other activities?” I asked.

Fluttershy trotted out of my vision to go somewhere in her house. I heard some things moving around, followed by the sounds of rustling paper. She came back, with a newspaper in her mouth. She then motioned to me to take it. I look at the front cover to see it; the picture of me and Lyra looking at the camera in fright, with a massive censor bar at the bottom.

“What the hell?” I said, “Why is there even a censor bar there? There’s nothing to censor!” I look at Fluttershy, who looked noticeably nervous. “You don’t think I’m going to try something like this with you, do you?”

“N-No.” she said. I don't think she believed me.

“Because I won’t. I would never…ah…” my attempts at assuring her were halted by the pain in my shoulder. I move it around, in hopes of trying to straighten it out or something. Fluttershy took notice.

“Oh my. Are you hurt?” her tone is almost motherly.

“My shoulder and back have been killing me recently. I’ve tried everything.” I rub my shoulder a little bit.

“Come inside. I’ll help you.” she moves out of my way, welcoming me to enter. I oblige, and walk inside.

Her house is nice, very much in tune with nature, along with the added surprise of some animals hopping around the place, Squirrels, chickens, bunnies. While most would find the sight cute, I looked at all of them with suspicion that they were going to attack me at any moment.

“Sit on the couch.” she says. I do so. “Now, tell me where it hurts.”

“It hurts around this area.” I point at the center of my shoulder. She gently places her hooves on me, and starts to feel around the pained area. “So, are you going to give me some tea or…”

POP! She jerked my shoulder in a quick fashion, effectively letting off a loud popping noise. My eyes widened, and my mouth agape at the feeling of my bone cracking.

“AHHH!” I said. “What did you…” When she let go, I moved my shoulder around. “Wait a sec…” There was no more pain. In fact, I had no trouble moving my shoulder at all. “Hey, this…this is great! How…”

“I know my way around a strained shoulder. It just needed some chiropractic help.” She gets up off the couch. “Follow me. We’ll do something about that back.”

I follow her upstairs to her bedroom. Already, the warning signs in my brain went off like a fire alarm. She wouldn’t be planning what I think she’s planning…would she? Before Lyra, I probably would have thought this just a simple massage, but after Lyra, I have become wary of every pony’s intentions.

“Lay down on your stomach.” she said calmly.

“Are you sure about this?” I hesitantly asked.

“Of course, I’ve done this many times.”

I could’ve just said no, and booked it on out of there, but the more sensible side of me was convincing in its argument that Fluttershy meant no harm. Besides, she was a shy pony who not minutes ago, blushed upon eye contact.

I lay down on the bed, like she wanted. It didn’t take long to feel her move her way on top of my back. All four hooves were on by back. She moves them carefully, like a cat kneading a blanket to get comfortable. Then, she moves to a sitting position, with her back legs pressing against my waist, and only her fore-hooves on my back. I’d be lying if I said my face didn’t become crimson red at this point.

“Oh my, you look red. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Totally fine. Don’t worry about me.” I said. Trying my hardest to be as straight faced as possible.

It seemed to work, as I felt her forelegs move their way around my shoulders, beginning the massage. She was gentle to the touch, with a twinge of forcefulness to it. I felt the straining in my shoulders beginning to fade.

“Oh…my goodness…” I said quietly.

“You have a lot of tension in your shoulders. When was the last time you had one of these?”

“Last time? This is my first time.”

“I see. You should have come to me much sooner.” she said, as she moved her hooves down my back. She hit the spot where the pain was coming from, and I visibly winced. She caught on. “There we are. You might feel some pressure.”

I felt her massage my back, and a series of pops were heard. I suppose my encounter with Big Mac put a couple things out of place. In minutes, the pain began to subside, and all I could feel was relaxation at the feeling of her massage. Pretty soon, it became one of the most comfortable things I have ever experienced.

“There we go. All better.” she said with confidence, as she got off my back. It took me a little bit to realize the massage was over. When I did, I got up off the bed. Miraculously, I felt nothing in terms of pain when I moved around.

“Woah. Thanks Fluttershy.” I said, “Now I know who to go to, next time I end up in pain."

“You’re very welcome.” she smiled, “Now that that's over with, do you want to meet my friends?”

“I think I already did.”

“Oh, not Twilight and the others, I mean my animal friends.”

Considering that the ponies themselves are technically animals, my eyebrow rose ever so slightly. Instead of bringing up the minor technicality, and in the interest of being nice, I chose to follow her out to the backyard, where I saw many animals of different kinds frolicking about. There were birds, bees, turtles, squirrels, raccoons, chickens, and a bear. Wait…a BEAR?!

“Fluttershy, what’s a bear doing here?!” I screamed and pointed at the creature.

“Don’t mind him. He’s very friendly. Aren’t you Mr. Bear?” The bear growls a friendly growl, as she patted him on the snout.

“So, is this some kind of animal sanctuary?”

“No. I just have a way with animals. They come to me if they want any help, be it food or shelter or…massages. And I am more than happy to oblige them. The only permanent residents are my chickens, and Angel.”

“Angel?” I asked. The moment I did, I felt something kick at my leg. I looked down to see an angry looking bunny, furiously kicking me.

“Angel! Don’t try to harm our guest!” Fluttershy asserted. Angel grumbled and hopped away. “I’m sorry about that.”

“That’s okay. He didn’t hurt me. It’ll take more than an angry bunny to…”

“LOOK OUT BELOW!” A voice called out.

WHAM! I was soon tackled to the ground by a tremendous blue force with a rainbow mane. This was obviously Rainbow Dash. As she shook her mane of any dirt, I just laid there in disbelief that I have been hurt…again.

“Okay, this bit is getting old.” I said.

“Sorry about that.” Rainbow Dash said, standing up on top of me. “I told you to move.”

“Don’t be silly.” I joked, “I was merely providing you cushioning for your landing.” I made no attempt to hide my sarcasm.

“Ha ha, very funny Mr. Human.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

“Can you get off me now, please?”

“Why? Feel like making out with me too?” she chuckled.

“Oh, in the name of…!” I angrily sighed. Yet another one that has read the paper. “No! I do not feel like making out with you!”

“Don’t be so grumpy, Mr. Grumperson. I was only kidding.” she gets off of me, “Hey Fluttershy, did you forget what day it is?”

“Oh! I almost forgot! Thanks for reminding me.”

“What’s today?” I asked, sitting up.

“Fluttershy here cheers me on, while I train in the fields every Friday. Today, I want her to cheer me on extra hard, now that the Wonderbolts say I have a shot! I have to do my absolute best!”

“Right, Twilight mentioned the Wonderbolts yesterday. What are they exactly?”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes beamed.

“Are you kidding? The Wonderbolts are the greatest team of Pegasi flyers in all of Equestria! It is my absolute dream to be on their team!”

“Well, I wish you luck.”

“I don’t need luck! I have speed, style, and awesomeness! Come on Fluttershy!”

“Can Matt come with us too? You could show him how cool you are.”

“Hmm….” she thinks for a few moments, “You have a point there. Everypony has to see how cool I am once in awhile. Come on, Grumpy. Time to show you a lesson in coolness!”

A little while later, I was sitting in a wide open field with Fluttershy, watching Rainbow Dash doing all kinds of aerial acrobatics that would make jet pilots shake in their books. Flips, spins, barrels rolls, dives, shooting through clouds, spinning the clouds…it was all very impressive.

The problem was that she had been doing these tricks for more than a couple hours. It was around four in the afternoon, and she showed no sign of stopping. To keep myself from becoming dizzy from all the flips, I looked over at Fluttershy, to see the look of happiness never leaving her face.

“How long does she usually spend up there?” I asked.

“She could be there all day, if she wants to.”

“And you just sit down here, and watch the whole thing?”

“Oh yes, I can never get tired of watching her fly.”

I continue to watch her, as a smirk comes to my face. It was all too obvious.

“Sounds like you two are pretty close, I reckon?”

“She’s my best friend. We’ve known each other since flight school.”

“How did you two first meet?”

“Well, you wouldn’t have known this, but I was a really shy pony back when I was a filly.”

“Really? I never would have guessed.” I feign surprise.

“These colts were bullying me for my clumsiness, when she came in and challenged them to a race to defend me.”

“How did the race turn out?”

“I don’t know. I was knocked off a cloud, where I first encountered my animal friends, and got my cutie mark. But Rainbow Dash’s sonic rainboom was more than enough to tell me that she won.” She said with a smile. “We have been friends ever since.”

“It’s interesting that you two are such good friends. She seems pretty hot headed and cocky, while you’re very…timid. If you don't mind me saying.”

“I don't mind at all. Yes, some would find it very odd. She can be a little arrogant at times, but I adore her. She’s the most talented pony I’ve ever met.”

“And how long has it been since you started having feelings for her?”

“Two year…EEEP!” she squeals at the admission. She covers her mouth, in a desperate attempt to mute what she was saying, but it wasn’t going to work. She looked into my eyes as she uncovered her mouth “Please don’t say anything! I beg you!”

“My lips are sealed.” I told her.

Rainbow Dash landed hooves first with a powerful thud, standing triumphant and sweating over her rigorous training session.

“Now, how was THAT for a lesson in awesomeness?!”

“It was great.” I said, “I have to hand…I mean hoof it to you, that was some impressive flying.”

“What? No sarcastic quip?” Dash wondered.

“Only when I'm annoyed." I smiled, "I’m being completely honest with you, that was some top notch stuff. I kind of makes me wonder why the Wonderbolts haven’t accepted you on their team, yet.”

“That’s what I’m saying! I’ve been wondering about that for years!" she looks at me with a smirk. I guess she doesn't see me as a complete dweeb now. "See Fluttershy? This guy totally gets it!” She notices Fluttershy being quieter than usual. “Hey, Flutters? You okay?”

“Oh, yes. I’m fine.” Fluttershy said, being snapped from being shocked at my discovery. “That was fantastic.”

“Are you sure? You seem kind of spaced out.”

“I’m just worried about the animals. It’s almost time for their feeding.”

“Is that all? If you’re worried about them that much, I’ll help you out.” Dash turns her attention back to me, “Thanks for indulging me, Matt. You seem like an alright guy.”

“You seem like an alright pony, and you’re welcome. I suppose I should take my leave now. I’ll see you two later.”

I waved goodbye to them, and I was on my way back to Ponyville. Aside from the unexpected tackle, the visit actually wasn’t too bad. I could get used to Dash’s more aggressive attitude, but she’s nice when she needs to be. Plus, she was an impressive flyer, despite my impatience in the final few minutes of the training session. As for Fluttershy? She gave a killer massage, and was surprised to discover a little bit about her personal life as well. I hoped that everything would work out for the two of them, I decided to just let it play out, rather than be a busybody, and butt in.

Now that’s over with, it was time to go back to pushy Twilight. Hope she was in a better mood than she was in the morning.

I get to the house, and push on the door. Strangely, it didn’t open. I turned the knob, and it didn’t turn. It was locked. Weird, usually the place was always unlocked. Not having a key, my only option was to knock on it. Like Fluttershy’s, I knocked three times. No response, but I heard some trotting in the house.

“Twilight? It’s me. What’s goin…”

The door opens, I stare into the panicked eyes of Twilight.

“What are you doing here? I told you to be outside.”

“I was outside for four hours, Twilight. I have to go back inside every once in awhile.”

“You can’t come inside yet, I’m…working on an experiment.” Her eyes shifted back and forth. She was lying.

“What’s in there that’s making you so…”

“Twilight? Honey? Who is that?” A feminine voice asked.

“It’s no one, Mom. Just a salespony.”

Mom?

“Your Mom is in there? Why didn’t you say so?”

“Matt, please. It’s not…” I pushed past her. I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to meet Twilight’s mother. “MATT!” she yells.

I walk inside to see two ponies staring rather frightened at me. Good reason too, I suppose, they haven’t seen a human before, and judging by Twilight’s insistence that I didn’t come in, they haven’t heard about me, either.

“Twilight? Who is this?” The female one asked. This was Twilight’s mother. The male on the right I assumed was her Father.

Twilight angrily sighed at me, frustrated at my behavior. “Mom…Dad…this is my friend…Matt. He’s from another dimension, and dropped here due to a spell I created. He’ll be staying with me for the time being.”

Her parents paused for a good while, confused at this new-found revelation. Her Mother whispered to her husband about god knows what, while still looking at me.

“Twilight…” her Dad said, “How come you were hiding this from us?”

“I wasn’t. Well…I kind of was. I was going to tell you.”

“You know better, Twilight.” her Mother sternly says, “Hiding your coltfriend away from us.”

“I know, I…..”

Twilight and myself caught on that one word at the same time. Coltfriend. Even I knew she really meant ‘Boyfriend’ in my terms. We had the exact same reaction.

“WHAT?!” Twilight and I screamed.

“That’s the reason why you didn’t tell us, isn’t it? Why else would you hide him away like that?”

“Mom! I…”

“I’m sorry Mrs. Sparkle.” I interrupted, “It’s was my idea to hide myself away. I wasn’t sure that you would accept a creature like me to be dating your Daughter.” I wrap an arm around the thoroughly bewildered Twilight.

“What are you…” she whispered.

“Just play along.” I whisper back.

“Well…” she looked back at her Husband, “As long as she’s happy, we suppose. It’s just that she always talked about…”

“THAT was just a crush, Mom. No need to bring that up.” Twilight quickly said. Filled with secrets, this one. “But…yeah…this is my….boyfriend. That’s what they called it in his world.”

“I see.” Twilight’s Mother got up first. “It’s nice to meet you.” she said, reaching out a hoof. “I’m Velvet, and my Husband over there is Orion.” I shake her hoof.

“Good to meet ya, son. Welcome to the family.” Orion said with delight.

When we sat down, we then proceeded to have a nice long chat about myself. I told them where I was from, and the circumstances on how I got into Equestria in the first place. They seemed genuinely interested in the story that I told. Twilight just nodded, and would chime in every so often to fill in a gap in my story. When pressed on the matter on how we developed a romantic relationship, we merely chuckled, and told them that things happen, especially in the short amount of time that I was there. Orion joked that Twilight was probably just interested in me for scientific purposes, rather than romantic. He had no idea how right he was.

The conversation and subsequent dinner took a few hours, and the sun had finally went down. It was time for Twilight’s parents to go.

“We had a nice time, Twilight. And you…” Velvet turned to me, “Are a very nice young col…I mean Man. I look forward to meeting you again.”

“Me too.” I said.

“You better treat her right.” Orion said, “If you two break up, it will be under mutual circumstances. If I find out that you did something…”

“Dad, please.” Twilight laughed, “Go home, it’s getting late.”

“Meh, you’re right. In any case, it was nice meeting you, Matt.”

“Likewise…sir.”

Orion and Velvet make their way out the door. Twilight’s smile instantly disappeared into a look of anger.

“I think that went rather…” POW! I was socked in the face by one of Twilight’s hooves. “Holy crap, Twi! What the hell was that about?”

“What do you think?! Now they’re going to tell their friends, and I won’t hear the end of it!”

“Then, now we’re even!”

“What in Equestria are you talking about?”

“That was for laughing at me when I got molested!”

“You said it was okay!”

“I was expecting a slight chuckle, not a full on laugh track!”

“UGH!!! You humans are so weird! You’re okay with something one minute, then hate it the next! I don’t understand you!”

Twilight storms up the stairs in a huff, furious at me.

“Hey, don’t you want to hear how my day was?”

“Owlicious! Sic em’!” she yelled.

The Owl suddenly came out of literally nowhere, screeching it’s battle cry, as it prepared to tear my face into shreds. I ran around the house, trying to avoid its razor sharp claws. A couple scratches to the arm, and some torn pillows later, I bolted outside the house, and into the backyard. The door slammed shut, and I heard the lock be put into place. I walked back to the door, knocking on it.

“Twilight?” No response. “Twilight, I’m really sorry.” Still nothing. “Come on, where do you expect me to sleep?” The window above me opened up, and a blanket and a pillow dropped on my head. The window closed right back up. “I guess that’s her response then.” I said to myself. “I really have to come up with something tomorrow.”

I walked to a nice part of the lawn, setting up the blanket. It wasn’t even the one from my bed. I was certain that it hadn’t even been put through the wash. I unfurled it, and set it on the lawn.

Just then, I heard a rustle in the bushes, snapping at my attention.

“Hello?” I whispered, “Is someone there?” It got quiet real fast. The person inside me, the one aware of every horror movie ever, started to yell at me to try and get back in the house, lest I get attacked by some killer in a hockey mask.

“Lyra? Is that you?” Then again, I could just go back into idiot mode. “I have no time for your rapist ways. So just come out.” The bushes around me begin to rustle. I see glowing blue, evil eyes poke out of every bush. “Uh…yeah…I’m going to turn around, and take off running. No chasing after me now. Okay? So let me just…”

RUN! I turn around, but then I was grabbed by the pant legs by sharp teeth, dropping me to the ground, and dragging me into the bushes. I struggled, and punched at whatever was trying to assault me, but before I could get another hit out, I was struck in the back of the head, effectively knocking me out.

I was in for a long night.

Meeting The Queen

That’s the second time I’ve been knocked unconscious. I was really getting tired of this routine of getting savagely beaten, or injured of any kind. Now, I’ve been taken away by these blue eyed creatures to god knows where. I only hoped that this wasn’t going to be my last night of existence. That would have really sucked.

I started to slowly regain consciousness, but all I could see was pure darkness. No matter in which direction I looked, the color black was all that was present.

“Great. I’ve gone blind.” I thought to myself, “Too many blows to the head really does get rid of the eye sight.”

As I sat up, I could feel something very strange underneath me. Some kind of substance stuck to my back, making the process of getting up a very tough act. A gross squishy noise could be heard, as I fully stood up off the cold, possibly stone floor. I touched my back slowly, and felt a sticky, smelly substance cling to my hands.

“Why am I sticky? Did I miss something disgusting?” I said to myself in room tone.

Suddenly, I became surrounded by a pack of glowing blue eyes. They cackled with evil delight, as they circled me, ready to do whatever bad things they had on their minds. Well, at least I didn’t go blind. Bad news is that these could possibly be the last things I would see.

“I must warn you, I don’t do well with confrontation, but if I must, I’ll fight you!” I did what I could to sound tough, putting up my mitts like I was ready to rumble with these demons.

“Good. I could use a bit of fight!” An evil, yet slightly seductive voice said.

Before I could wonder where that voice came from, green fire shot out from the floor behind me! I turned to see the fire illuminate a stone staircase, leading to a massive throne, also made of rock, and a black, pony like figure. Her eyes open, revealing the glowing green eyes, that are different from her minions. I get a good look at these figures; they looked like ponies, but they also looked like insects. They hiss, bearing their sharp looking fangs, which gleam off the fire. The voice began to laugh with ferocious glee, making me turn my attention back to her.

She gets up from her throne, and slowly walks down the steps. More green fire emerges from various corners of what I can now see to be a massive cave, as I look upon a gigantic army of these insect pony things. The ringleader makes it down to my level. She was tall; about an inch or two taller than I am, her hooves were long and lanky, with holes in them like swiss cheese. Her body was thin, her horn was sharp and distorted like a tree in a Tim Burton movie, and her wings were like that of a fly, only large and also with holes. She looked down upon me, with a demonic smile.

“Hello.” she says, licking her fangs.

“Um…hi. How’s it going?”

“Pretty good. Yourself?”

“Not bad. Just in a cave with a bunch of insect ponies.”

“Hah!” she chortles, “These ‘Insect Ponies’, as you so foolishly called them, are Changelings, and they are my unstoppable army!”

“That’s cool.”

“And they shall…Wha?” her evil speech is suddenly transformed into a normal-ish voice. It still sounded evil, just not AS evil. “You think it’s cool?”

“Yeah. Why not? It’s a massive army of Changelings. I give you props, I like it.”

“Ummm…thanks. Anyway…” The flames get stronger, as she laughs maniacally. “Tremble in fear at my power! Look upon me, pathetic weakling! Are you afraid?”

“Not entirely.”

The flames die down to normal. She looks at me, confused.

“Why not?!” she asks.

“Don’t get me wrong, you got this Evil Queen thing down very well, especially calling me a ‘pathetic weakling’ like that. I’m just saying now that I’ve SEEN you, the fright factor is diminished a little bit. It’s okay though, you’re still pretty scary.”

“Like, on a scale of one to ten, how scary am I?”

“About maybe an eight point five.”

“Well, that’s good, right?”

“Yeah. It’s very good. Like I said, you’re still scary. I’m really digging it.”

“Digging what?” she looks around the ground, “What are you digging? I don’t see any holes or shovels around here.”

“No.” I chuckle, “I mean, I’m liking the setup you have here.”

“Then, why aren’t you shaking in your shoes?”

“Believe me, I’m trying my best not to scream and run away right now. I just like hearing you talk.”

“I see. Well then…” she clears her throat for another barrage of evil words. The flames shoot up again, brighter than ever. “NOW, I SHALL….what do you mean you like hearing me talk?” The flames die down.

“It sounds like two voices are going off at once. Very evil. I find it interesting.”

“You know, I don’t think you’re actually scared of me.” she looks at me questioningly, “Sounds to me like you’re just messing with me, trying to make a fool out of me and my army." Her expression then turns into one of anger. " I’LL SHOW YOU!”

Her horn glows an awesome green, as she uses her magic to pick me up! Being lifted off the ground by magic was something I never experienced before. She lifted me up a good five feet, before letting me go, sending me right down into a puddle of goop.

“Yuck! Not this again!” I said, attempting to get the slime off me. “What the hell is this stuff, anyway?”

“That is secretions, created by me and my army! I use it to make more minions!”

I stand up; the goop is extremely hard to get off.

“It’s still gross. But at least I know it’s not what I thought it was.”

“And what did you think it was?”

“Nevermind. Can you just tell me why you brought me here?”

“I have heard about you, and your…exploits in the town of Ponyville. I demand that you indulge me with the same courtesy, so that my army can feed!”

“Exploits? What do you…” I figured it out. She read the paper too! Is there nopony in Equestria that didn’t read it? Other than Twilight’s parents, interestingly enough. I immediately facepalmed at the discovery.

“Seriously? That’s why you brought me here? To have your way with me?! That’s just great! You know, I’m really getting sick of all the crap that’s been happening to me lately! I’ve been knocked out, trampled on, rammed into, molested, tackled, and just recently dropped into a puddle of Changeling goo from five feet up! Can’t I get a GODDAMN BREAK FOR ONE FRAKKING SECOND?!”

All the Changelings, the Queen included, stopped and stared at me in frightened awe. Their mouths wide open, standing in shock at my outburst.

“I…I’m sorry.” she said. “I didn’t know you went through all that.”

“Yeah! And that was for the first week! THE FIRST WEEK! I wonder what’s going to happen the second week? I can guess! I’ll probably get torn apart by rabid salmon! Or, better yet, fall off a cliff into a Hydra pit that includes horny Cerberus’! That would be amazing! And just so you know…THAT’S SARCASM!”

The Queen looks upon her minions. She gestures them to move on elsewhere.

“Leave us.” she ordered. They do so without any hesitation. She walks up to me. “Sounds to me like you’ve had it pretty rough.”

“No kidding. After the initial shock, I thought it was going to be fun, living here. Now, I’m not so sure. Especially since I’m here in this cave, about to be murdered by you.”

“Who said anything about murdering you? I wasn’t going to do that. I’m not in the business of murder. Too messy.”

“Right, I forgot that I interrupted your little speech about what you planned to do with me. Please, continue.”

“First off, do you even know who I am?”

“Not really, no.”

“I’m Chrysalis. I’m the Queen of The Changelings.”

“I got the second part from the way the others were treating you. Chrysalis, huh? Nice name. I’m Matt.” I extend a hand out. She meets me for a shake. “So, you read the tabloids, and figured that I would do the same with you?”

“Well…yes.” she uses her magic to get the newspaper. She shows me the incriminating picture of Lyra and I. “See the way you were holding her? I wanted you to do the same to me.”

“That’s going to be a little difficult, since you’re taller than I am. She was about four feet, like the average pony.”

“I know that. But I’m a Changeling, I can turn into anypony.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Observe.” In a quick flash, she transformed into Twilight Sparkle. It was a flawless transformation, with nothing out of the ordinary. “Are you not impressed?” she asked, with the same voice as Twilight. If I didn’t know any better, I would have assumed this was the real Twilight.

“Actually, I'm really impressed. Since you transformed into Twilight, I assume that you know her?”

“I tried to sabotage her brother’s wedding by posing as his fiancé, for my personal gain.” she explains, transforming back into her normal self.

“She had a brother? Wow; learn something new every day, I suppose. Anyhow, that should sound horrible, considering I’m her friend, but that’s a very interesting story. What happened?”

“She found out, and I was cast back into the Everfree Forest, where I began plotting my revenge.”

“That’s rough, buddy.”

“I know. Don’t expect some kind of retaliation, though. After a while, I found the whole revenge angle a little on the boring side.”

“Okay, let’s back up for a second. You…the Queen of the Changelings…kidnapped me…brought me to your cave…which is pretty nice, by the way...just so you can do the horizontal monster mash with me?”

“The what?”

“Sex.”

“Oh…right. Yes. We could do that.”

“You said that your army also needed feeding. What do Changelings feed on, anyway?” I wondered.

“We feed off the power of love. It’s what gives us strength, and makes our magic strong.”

“That’s pretty neat, but let me explain something, Chrysalis. What’s going on in this picture…” I point at the image, “…has nothing to do with love. She jumped me, and tried to have her way with me. Then, Twilight’s assistant caught us in the act, and took a picture. We didn’t actually DO IT, despite what this paper probably told you.”

“I see. Well…this is embarrassing.”

“What do you mean?”

“It seemed to me like you did this kind of stuff willingly, so…”

“Hold up. Are you saying that you weren’t going to force me into something like this?”

“No. I mean, I could. But it wouldn’t be the same, really. We find having a willing subject to be more fruitful.”

“What is with you ponies…”

“Changelings.”

“Whatever. Both of you have this strange sense of morality, that I’m not sure I’m entirely getting.” I look at Chrysalis, and she is staring down at the slimy stone floor, disappointed. “I’ll tell you what…” Her ears perk up, and she looks at me. “You guys feed on love, right?” She nods. “How about I just give you a hug, or something? It’s not what you seem to be looking for, but it’s a form of love. Besides, I don’t hate you, and in all honesty, I could use a hug right now.”

Chrysalis stares at me, thinking carefully about this proposition. She brings a hoof to her chin, methodically tapping it, as I hear her hum to herself.

“Yeah.” she replied, “It’s a little unorthodox, but…sure, okay. I’ll give it a shot.” She motions over for me to come closer to her. I do so. I open my arms and wrap them around her, forming a nice embrace.

Her smooth exoskeleton is shockingly comfortable, like trying to hug a leather couch. She puts a hoof around my shoulder, giving her own special hug, calmly caressing my back. It felt rather nice.

“I have to say…”she softly says, “…this is pretty comfortable. Makes me wonder why I didn’t do this in the first place.”

“I admit it’s not too bad.”

We separated from the hug, and looked at each other, with grins on our faces, both rather satisfied at this outcome.

“Are you feeling better?” she asks me.

“Yeah. I’m feeling much better. Thank you.”

What happened next…is a little harder to explain.

After staring at each other for what felt like minutes, we both lunged for each other’s faces, locking lips and proceeding into the weirdest make out session that I have EVER been a part of!

Unlike Lyra, this time, I was more than willing, and yet I had no idea why I was doing this. Whatever came over me at that moment, it was far too late to turn back. Her forked tongue slithered its way into my mouth, and our tongues danced with one another in a rough and tumble bout of utter strangeness.

What’s even odder is that I should be weirded out by my actions, but I wasn’t.

“What’s happening?” I asked, breaking away from the kiss.

“I don’t know, but I like it!” she says, as she shoves her mouth back into mine.

Suddenly, I feel her magic surround me, and pick me up again. She hurriedly carried me past her changeling army, and to a stone door.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked.

“Be quiet!” she said with authority.

She kicked open the stone door to reveal her chambers. She tossed me onto her bed, as she closed her door shut with great force.

“I have to tell you, Chrysalis…I haven’t done….”

“SILENCE!!! YOU’RE MINE!!!” she yelled, as she leapt onto the bed, and right on top of me.

*THE NEXT THOUSAND OR SO WORDS HAVE BEEN DELETED FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS DECENT IN THE WORLD OF EQUESTRIA*

If I bothered taking up smoking, I could have really used a cigarette right about now.

Both Chrysalis and I lay in bed, covered in sheets, looking up at the ceiling, and refusing to look at one another, after what we just did. We mildly shifted about, but that was all that happened during ten straight minutes of absolute silence. I was the first to talk.

“Well…that was…” I started.

“An unexpected turn of events.” she finished my thought.

“Yeah. That’s what I was thinking.” More silence ensues. “Um…so…what happens now? Are you going to like…erase my memory or something?”

“Only if you mention this to anypony.”

“Oh no. Definitely not. This’ll just be between us.”

“Okay. And don’t get all weird on me. This is a one-time only deal, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. We got caught up in the moment, and shit got crazy, I totally get it.”

“Good. Last thing I want is you hounding me like a dog.”

“You know, I was trying to tell you that I never did this before.”

“That’s great.” she sarcastically utters, “I really wish you didn’t tell me that. Now I feel bad.”

“No, don’t feel bad. Thanks…I guess.” Another long pause passes. “Do you want me to go?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Alrighty then.” I get up, looking around the room for my pants. I found them after a brief search. “It was nice meeting you, Chrysalis.”

“It was nice meeting you too. See you when I see you.” she continues to stare at the ceiling. “And Matt…you did fine.” she immediately put her hooves on her face for admitting that. “Dammit. Just go on.” I ran out the door, as she continued to wallow in regret. Hey, at least she got what she wanted.

I walked out of her room and right into the Changeling army standing before me. They all stared at me with grand curiosity. This awkward moment just became a million times more awkward.

“Uhhh…hey.” They didn’t say hi back, only more deer in the headlights stares. “Did you all hear that?” They all nod. “Shit, okay. Um…which one of you know their way to Ponyville?” A few raised their holed hooves. “Right, good. Take me there, now.”

The Changelings escorted me through what I would know to be the Everfree Forest, and straight into Ponyville by the time the afternoon came along. I thanked them for taking me back home, and they flew off back to their cave without so much as a word. I walked through town, as everypony stared at my still wet and sticky clothes from all that cave goop.

They continued to watch me, until I got to Twilight’s house. I knocked on the door, and before I got to the third knock, the door flew open, with Twilight on the other side, with the happiest of faces. She quickly embraced me in a tight hug.

“Where have you been?! We were so worried!”

“We?” I look inside, to see the other ponies inside, happy to see me. “Oh…hey guys.”

The ponies got up from their seated positions, galloping over to me in relief that I wasn’t a carcass on the side of the road.

“After what I did, I felt so bad, I went outside to let you in, but you weren’t there!”

“When Twilight told us what happened, we went on a super duper investigation, but you didn’t turn up anywhere!” Pinkie Pie said whilst wearing a Sherlock Holmes style hat.

“Where did you go off to, darling?” said Rarity.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I’m just happy to see you girls.”

“Awwww…” they simultaneous let out. They all gathered around me, and hugged me tightly. Little did they know…

“Um…I don’t mean ta pry sugarcube, because it’s real nice to see you back and all, but…why are ya sticky?” Applejack asked.

They all separated from me; now they all had cave goop on them. They let out a collective “EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!”

“It’s a long story AJ. I’ll tell you…some of it…later. Right now…I need a nice hot bath to get rid of this stuff.”

Twilight sniffed my clothes, recoiling back in disgust.

“Not in my bathroom, you’re not.” Her horn glowed, picking me up. I’ve gotten used to this kind of treatment by now. “I know just where to take your stinky self.”

They all brought me over to the bathhouse, where I was greeted by two spa ponies. I was carried all the way over to the gigantic bath, which was all prepped and ready to go. Without any warning whatsoever, I was dropped right into it, with my clothes still on. The water was hot, and ever so comfortable. I could feel the stench of all the cave slime coming off.

As I started to doze off into dreamland…

The door burst open, and the other ponies came rushing in, breaking me out of my relaxed state.

“Geronimo!” Applejack yelled, as she was the first to dive in.

The others followed suit, jumping in the bathtub, and soaking everything in soapy water. Now I was really happy that my clothes weren’t removed for this.

“What the hell?! What are all of you doing?!”

“You made our coats all sticky, darling! Now you’re going to clean us!” Rarity said, floating a loofah in my face. I take the loofah, and look at all the ponies smiling at me. I put the loofah down behind me in refusal.

“Look, I’m tired, and I didn’t get any sleep last night. Do you mind if we wait on the craziness just a little bit longer?”

They looked at each other. They nodded in agreement.

“Okay Matt.” Twilight said, “But, this bathtub is big enough for all of us. So, we’re staying.”

“Fair enough. Just…” I yawned, “Give me five minutes…maybe more.” I closed my eyes, finally calmed at relaxed. I hear the water moving, and soon, I feel the others gathered around me, resting their heads on me.

“Matt…” Twilight said, “I’m very sorry that I kicked you out of the house”

“I’m sorry mah brother and sister damaged your back, and…your other areas.” Applejack said.

“I’m sorry that I crashed into you.” Rainbow Dash apologized as well.

“I’m sorry that Angel tried to hurt you.” Fluttershy practically whispers.

“I’m sorry I lied to you, so you could make cupcakes with me.” Pinkie Pie said. She didn’t have to apologize for that one, since it didn’t result in pain. I was too sleepy to say anything.

They all looked at Rarity, expecting some form of apology from her. She scoffs at their stares.

“What are you looking at me for? I haven’t even done anything yet!” They continue to stare. She rolls her eyes, and joins in on the little hug that they had going.

“It’s alright, girls. At least I have an interesting story to tell, one day. For the time being though, I would like to relax.”

“Matt?” said Applejack, “We are glad that you’re here.”

I smiled.

“Me too, AJ…me too…”

I fall asleep.

Rarity's Date

A lot can improve in a couple weeks’ time. My first week in Ponyville was the strangest, most accident prone time of my life. I never thought in my wildest imagination, that it would ever get any better. By some miracle, either because I became more cautious, or that whatever deity that these ponies worshiped (on retrospect, probably Celestia) liked me, the next couple weeks was as pleasant as they ever could have been. Did I still find my way into an accident? Sure, but at the very worst, it would be a low hanging branch at Sweet Apple Acres.

Living with Twilight improved substantially; we didn’t get into many disagreements, and whatever disagreements we had didn’t result in me getting my dumb ass thrown out of the house. Applejack finally gave me that tour of her farm and land, once I gathered enough courage to go back to her injury causing relatives. Luckily, they were well behaved, and I left the place relatively unscathed. Getting a good look at the land, I marveled at how beautiful it was, and looked forward to working there once Applebucking Season came along.

I baked all kind of tasty treats with Pinkie Pie, who enjoyed my company. I tried my hand at baking, to arguably mixed results. I started out rather horribly at first, but I eventually made passable foods. At least, I believe it’s passable. Pinkie Pie gobbles it up either way, and doesn’t vomit her guts out, so it’s something. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash still managed to be inseparable every time I saw them. Then again, I always managed to catch them on the days where Fluttershy would cheer on Rainbow Dash, and she continued flying in the skies. Dialogues haven’t been forming between me and the bunny Angel though; he still tries to kick me every chance he gets.

As for Rarity…well…lately, she was being kind of a recluse. I tried to see her on multiple occasions, but we never talked for more than a couple minutes at a time, before she would proclaim that she was busy, and would talk to me later. It was a shame, as I never did properly thank her for all the work she did, making me clothes during my time. Sure, it only took her all of an hour to make said clothes, but I wanted to thank her either way, whether through helping her out, or just having a few chats.

However, there was no time to find a way to thank her at that moment, because Twilight was making me look for books in her library.

“What’s it called again?” I asked, as I looked over every inch of the bookshelf she directed me to.

“For the millionth time, it’s called ‘The Mysteries of Magic. Volume 3.’”

“There’s three volumes of this?!” I shrugged it off, and continued looking.

Outside, I could hear various chatter coming from the distance. Peering out the window, I could see reporters gathered around Carousel Boutique. Needless to say, it got my attention.

“Twilight? What’s with all the reporters outside of Rarity’s?”

Twilight looked out the window. She was as surprised as I was,

“Huh. I didn’t expect them to be there so early.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know Hoity Toity?” I give her a look that screamed out ‘really?’. “Right, he’s some famous fashion pony. He’s doing a show in Canterlot gardens, showing various outfits according to the seasons, and Rarity was picked out to do the winter line up.”

“So THAT’s why she’s been so busy lately. Here I thought she didn’t like me.”

“Of course she likes you. She wouldn’t have made your clothes if she didn’t like you.”

“True, but I never got to spend any time with her after that. At least I know why.” I go back to searching for that elusive book, when a thought entered my brain. “Clothing line…you know, that reminds me…what’s the point of clothes in this world, anyway?”

“To keep you from being naked, for one.” Twilight laughed.

“Yeah, but I’m mainly talking about you ponies. I’ve barely seen one article of clothing from any of you, aside from Appejack’s hat.”

“The other cities in Equestria are very clothing heavy. The outfits that Rarity makes are mostly for them, though she makes stuff for us every so often.”

“So…what you’re saying is…Ponyville is a nudist colony?” I say with a smirk.

“I beg your pardon…nudist colony?”

“You ponies don’t wear much clothes, so essentially…you’re all naked.”

“We’re not naked. Not in the slightest. That would be very strange…and distracting.”

“That’s funny.” I don’t believe her, “Next, you’re going to tell me that you’re all wearing suits that appear invisible to idiots.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind." I said, figuring that there wasn't a pony version of The Emperor's New Clothes in her library. "Good for Rarity, though. Still, as long as those reporters stay on her, and not on me, I’ll be fine.”

POOF! In a bright flash of light, Rarity has teleported into the middle of the house! She looks around in a panic, ignoring Twilight’s look of shock, and looks straight at me. At the time, I had no clue why in Equestria she was looking at me with those crazed eyes.

“Matt!” she calls out, galloping over to me, “I’m so sorry about this!”

“Sorry about wh…”

I couldn’t finish my question, as she put her hooves on me, and in yet another blinding flash of light, I found myself inside Carousel Boutique, with Rarity, and a wall of reporters, who have floated their microphones and cameras in my face.

“Mr. Williams! How does it feel to be Rarity’s date to the Fashion Gala?”

I was frozen. Not only am I instantly camera shy, but the question that was asked of me was something I never expected to hear…ever. Rarity’s date? Why would she even consider me that? I calmly collected myself, and was completely cool.

“WHAT?!”

Or not.

I feel Rarity wrap a hoof around my shoulder, and using another hoof to gently caress my chest in a loving manner. I looked at her dancing hoof, and her face multiple times.

“I’m deeply sorry about all this, but my…Boyfriend here is a little camera shy. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.”

“How did you two fall in love?” one reporter asked.

“Was it at first sight?” another one butted in.

“Well…” she says with a chuckle, “I found him to be a complete charmer when I first met him. After spending so much time with each other, we just knew that it was meant to be!”

“But, wouldn’t him being a human be seen as a little…abnormal, amongst the community? How do you feel about that?”

“I admit, I thought of the idea of having relations with him being weird, but once we finally got into bed…”

I had enough. I broke away from the embrace, my face red with embarrassment, and a few other emotions, and started to push the crowd away with all of my might.

“Okay! That’s enough questions for today!” I shouted, continuing to push them out the door, as they shouted even more questions. The voices all came together, making their speech incomprehensible. “Thank you! Have a good day! BYE!” I slammed the door, and locked it multiple times, before quickly shooting a look straight at Rarity. “WHAT IN ALL THAT IS HOLY HAVE YOU DONE?!”

“I said I was sorry!”

“Sorry for what? Pretending that not only am I your date for this Fashion Gala, but also that I’m in a physical relationship with you?! Who publicly puts that on the news?!”

“I didn’t know what else to do! I panicked! They were going on and on about how this Gala was all about appearances and they prodded me with questions about who my date was going to be!”

“And so you chose me?!” I questioned, “Of all the stallions in Ponyville…you chose me… the human?!”

“I’m not sure if you noticed lately, but there are not a lot of stallions here to choose from!”

I look outside, and was caught off guard to see that she was absolutely right! Sure, the town had stallions, but they were either taken, or a bunch of weirdos. I even saw that jelly obsessed pony walking around, covered in jelly…naturally.

“Okay, I suppose you have a point.”

“Besides, if I went out with a stallion, I would just be another pony at the show, but with YOU…it’s more…exotic…controversial…dangerous.”

“Words that no female would have ever used to describe going out with me…if they were remotely interested.” I say quietly to myself. “So, what you’re saying is…that I’m pretty much arm candy?”

“Well, if you want to be cold about it…yeah. So, are you in?”

“Ummmm….no.”

“What?” she exclaims in disappointment, “Why not?”

“I just got over the whole Lyra business, I don’t need any more attention in my life.” It’s true. After that incident, the numerous paparazzi became less numerous, and as the second week was dying down, they all disappeared.

“Come on, you have to go! Don’t you like me?”

“Rarity…” I chuckle, “It’s not a question of if I like you or not. I like you, and I’m happy for you, I really am, but parties are…not for me.”

“That’s a bunch of hogwash! You like Pinkie Pie’s parties! Remember Rainbow Dash’s birthday last week?”

“I do, and that was fun. But…a party where fashion style ponies get together to talk about dresses and stuff? It’s a little too frou-frou for my tastes.”

“Ugh, I never!” she sounds offended, “What we do is not frou-frou!”

“Sorry, but I cannot go.” I turn to the door, ready to leave.

“You have to go! Or else…or else I’ll be ruined!”

I turn back to Rarity, she had the look of desperation on her face.

“What are you going on about?”

“I promised them that you would be there. Anypony who is anypony will be at that Gala, and if they find out that I lied, and was nothing but a single pony who fabricated the truth to get attention…then my career as a fashionista will be over!”

“Are the press really that terrible here?”

“Yes! They’re the worst! You have to come with me, you just have to!”

If I was a completely heartless bastard, I would have said ‘too bad’ and walked right out the door. The consequences could be dire; she would have been mocked, I would have lost a friend, maybe more, if the others reacted to my rejection harshly. I had no other choice. I sighed, and then walked back to her, kneeling down.

“Okay. I’ll go with you.”

“YES!” she shouted, as she jumped up and down. “You won’t regret this! Thank you!”

“Wait…” I said. She stopped hopping. “What’s in it for me?”

“Well…” she thought about it for a few moments, “We get to hang out together. I know that we haven’t been hanging out as much as the others.”

“Okay, that’s a plus. What else?”

“You get to be my boyfriend. So we can do couple things. Like hold…hooves, laugh at each other’s jokes, and occasional pecks on the cheek.”

“Interesting. What else?”

“What else is there?” she wondered. I raise my eyebrow at her. She is still very confused. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at, darling.”

“I kind of need a suit to wear.”

“Oh right, a suit…” she pauses, then remembers. “A SUIT! OF COURSE! I HAVE TO MAKE YOU A SUIT!”

“You said you wanted to make me one, someday. Here’s your chance.”

“Yes! Yes! I’m going to get right on it! Come back first thing tomorrow! You won’t be disappointed!”

“Don’t you need to take my measurements?”

“Nope! Got them in my head. See you tomorrow!” she trots off to her workroom, leaving me alone in the room.

“What about the press?” I hear nothing coming from her room. However, I can still hear the reporters outside, continuing to shout their obscene questions.

I made it to Twilight’s, after charging through the reporters like a quarterback at the superbowl. I quickly opened the door, and then slammed it shut. I heard a variety of thuds on the door. Undoubtedly, the reporters slammed against the door, and have knocked themselves out. I heard very few questions being asked after that, so it was safe to assume they still lied on the ground.

Twilight looked up from her reading (she found the book while I was away), surprised at my dramatic arrival.

“What happened to you?”

“Looks like I’m going to the Fashion Show.”

The next morning, after a nice breakfast, I went straight over to Rarity’s. Opening the door, I didn’t see her inside, like I normally would, but it was unlocked, so she must have been expecting me to arrive.

“Rarity?” I called out.

“In a moment, dear. Just putting on the finishing touches.” I hear her say from behind the door to her work area. A few moments pass, and she comes out, floating up a folded stack of clothes. “Here you are. All ready to go.” I look at her appearance; eyes slightly baggy, her hair a bit unkempt.

“Did you spend all night making this for me?”

“No…I mean yes…probably. Some of my designs weren’t panning out, so I had to start from scratch a few times. Plus Opal was being more trouble than she was worth, making me start over again and again.”

“Opal?”

“My cat. Can you please take these? I’m a little tired.”

“Yeah, certainly. I’m sorry.” I take the clothes. She exhaled in relief.

“Thank you. You can go try them on in the dressing room. I just need to take a little nap.”

I nod, and walk past her towards the dressing room. Before I could step inside, I heard a thunk on the floor. Looking back, I see Rarity slumped down, fast asleep. The poor mare, I wasn’t going to leave her like that. Carefully, I put the clothes down, and picked her up, bringing her over to a nearby couch, gently putting her down. I locked the door to the shop, so she wouldn’t be disturbed, and went back to the dressing room.

Placing the clothes on the small table in the room, I took note of the ensemble. It was a fine black suit, with hints of stripes on the jacket and pants. A red vest, with a matching red tie, and a purple dress shirt, all made with some very fine silk. She even took the liberty of making me shoes for the event. I wasn’t much of a fashion guru; back at home, I would watch an episode or two of this show called Project Runway, but I wasn’t a very good judge of clothes. Nevertheless, this looked like a very stylish suit.

Trying it on, I was amazed on how Rarity adapted to my new measurements. Being in Equestria for three weeks, and I have already gotten a lot thinner than my original frame. The silk felt good on my skin, and nothing felt too tight, or too loose. I looked in the mirror and studied my look. I never would have thought something like this would look good on me, but Rarity sure thought so, and she was right. I was like some sort of fashionable secret agent, only not quite as dashing. Now, I was really going to have to do something to thank for all the work she had done.

It wasn’t until I started getting dressed into my normal attire, when Rarity began to wake up. She was initially surprised that she found herself lying on the couch.

“Wha? How did I get here?”

“You passed out on the floor.” I walked out, suit in hand, “I wasn’t going to leave you laying there like a throw rug.”

“That’s sweet of you, darling, but this wouldn’t be the first time I fell asleep on my floor after an all-nighter. Besides, it’s all nice and clean.”

“Yes, well…the suit fit perfectly, by the way.”

“Really? I can’t believe I missed it! Let me see!”

“When’s the show?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Then you’ll see it tomorrow night.”

“Aww…you’re no fun!”

“Thanks for this. I’ll try to find some way to repay you.”

“You’re coming with me. That’s more than enough.”

“No it isn’t. I’ll think of something. I promise. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I leave the boutique, and plow through yet another wave of reporters. Those guys never quit, do they?

The next twenty four hours, was listening to Twilight constantly making kissy faces at me, in an attempt to annoy me about going on a date with Rarity. Despite my insistence that it was all for show, she still was making those faces. Her goal to annoy me was working, and I covered my face with another Daring Do book. Speaking of which, Daring Do and The Griffon’s Goblet was a really good book, ended up spending most of my time reading the whole thing.

Next evening fell, and as the clock winded down, I started to get ready for the night’s event. I took an extra-long bath to smell nice for all the ponies that I’m sure will be judging me, slicked my hair back, and shaved that beard that was forming on my face. If this sounds really boring, that’s because it kind of was. I still had to make a good impression, even if Twilight was standing outside the bathroom, chanting about me and Rarity kissing in trees. Where was Spike, you might ask? He was none too pleased about this development, and spent most of the day, glaring at me in the corner. I guess the little dragon had a bit of a thing going for the fashion pony.

I came out with my suit, rather impressed that it looked even better, now that I am clean…and clean shaven. Just as I did, somepony came knocking on the door. Twilight answered it, and behind the door was a chauffeur pony, waiting to escort me and Rarity to the show.

After my goodbyes, I went into the carriage, where Rarity was waiting for me. She looked positively stunning…for a pony. She wore a sleek silver dress, adorned with beautiful sapphire diamonds. My jaw nearly dropped, but for the first time ever, I managed to keep my professionalism in check.

“You look nice.” See? I totally did this time!

“As do you.” she reaches out a hoof, “Aren’t you going to greet me in a more proper manner?”

“You’re really going all out to sell this, aren’t you?” I smirked.

“As much as I can. Now, come on.” She shakes her hoof in front of me. I take her hoof, and give it a small kiss. She giggles in amusement. “Ha! I can’t believe I got you to do that!”

“Try not to enjoy this too much, Rarity.”

The two of us spent the lengthy carriage ride catching up on all the shenanigans I got myself into. She enjoyed listening to my tales of injury and pain, finding every mishap a barrel of laughs. The only story I hadn’t, and to this day never told, was the one between me and Chrysalis. I agreed to never speak of it again, and dammit, I was going to keep that promise. Though, in a way, I’m breaking that promise now, since you know about it.

We got to the show in about an hour. The moment the door opened, we were bombarded by flashing lights, and more incomprehensible questions. I kept my eyes on Rarity, who was geeking out at being in such a show, and looking at all the celebrities that were there. I had no idea who any of them were, but since she was so transfixed, I couldn’t really complain. We were escorted into the building, and there were much less (meaning zero) cameras trying to take away our eyesight, inside the complex.

That didn’t stop us from being bombarded by other ponies, however.

“Ah. Miss Rarity! How delightful to see you again!” one fancy looking pony with a mustache and a monocle said, “And who is this fine looking gentleman? I say, is he the human that was caught having relations with another pony?” Oh god, not even this fancypants pony was safe from the tabloids.

Rarity had a good chuckle before…”Yes, this is him. Matt? I would like you to meet Fancypants.”

What? His name actually was Fancypants? Points for originality, I suppose. I shake his hoof.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, young colt…I’m sorry…what do they refer to you where you come from?”

“You were close. Where I come from, it’s ‘young man’.”

“Ah! Perfect! You were right, I was close! It’s a pleasure to meet you….young man!” he and the other ponies around him had a chortle, like what he said was funny. It was amusing at the very best. He puts a foreleg onto a nearby mare, pushing her forward to me. “Allow me to introduce my beautiful marefriend…Fleur De Lis.” he brings her in closer, “Careful Fleur, this young man might try to sweep you off your hooves!” They all guffaw again.

“Good evening Fleur, and don’t worry, Rarity will be the hooves I’ll be sweeping tonight. Right?” I look over at Rarity. To my surprise, she seems rather down. “Rarity?” She perks back up.

“What? Oh, yes! He most certainly will!” she inches closer to me, back into her happy mood. That was weird. We all made our way through the building, where the show was going to be.

For the next couple of hours, it was all me, all the time. Everypony wanted to talk to me, ask me about my world, what humans were like, and if there was anything like them where I came from. I also met this aforementioned Hoity Toity, who reminded me of all those snobbish types I encountered during my days in film school. I did what I could to keep a happy face, even if it was getting a little exhausting for me.

What became noticeable over time, was how little attention Rarity was getting. It was almost like she was getting pushed into the background, and any attempts by me to bring her back into the forefront, was met by the ponies changing the subject back to me.

I was the life of the party…yet I didn’t want to be.

The show was starting in minutes, and I managed to push my way past the crowd, and to the table, where Rarity was already sitting at, drinking a glass of dandelion wine. I sit down next to her, inspecting her disappointed face.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine. Just…having a little déjà vu, that’s all.”

“Déjà vu?”

“It’s nothing, dear. I’m quite alright. How are you getting along with your new friends?”

“They’re okay, I guess. Honestly, I’m more concerned about you.”

“Why would you do something like that?”

“Because, this is supposed to be your night. You’re supposed to be the star, and it’s starting to feel like you’re merely a cameo.”

“Matt…” she doesn’t get another word out, as the lights dim, and some catchy techno music blares from the speakers.

Everypony takes their seats, as Hoity Toity steps out onto the stage, complete with flashing lights, and a fog machine, to make his entrance seem more dramatic.

“Welcome everypony, to the centennial Fashion Gala!” Applause in the form of hooves stepping on the ground at a rapid pace, come from the guests. “This year, we shall be showing you our new lines, coming from four talented individuals, showcasing the four seasons in the year!” More applause. “Now, let the show begin!”

Spring came first, which was a very nice line. Very in tune with the more naturly side of the season. Then summer, which was more like looking at swimsuits and short shorts, than something I would catch myself wearing (if I had hooves) during that season. Then fall, which was more casual, yet still unmistakably stylish, so that it would appear to cost an arm and a leg to get.

Then came winter, Rarity’s line. Though I may not be much of a fashion person, combined with being a little biased when it came to friends, her line was the most eye catching of the group. I hadn’t seen what she could truly do, outside of my suit, clothes, and the dress she was wearing, but she was totally a very talented pony.

The presentation took about ten minutes, and ended with numerous applause by everypony in the room. Hoity Toity came out, and called out each of the designers to the stage. Rarity got up, and went onstage with the others. Toity told the press to ask each of the designers questions, by order of the line.

The first three designers got very standard questions. Ones that I would normally see back on TV, like inspirations, idols, things like that. They were well spoken, and seemed to know what they were talking about.

Rarity’s questions, on the other hand…were a bit more maddening. Specifically, they all had to do with me. To see her onstage, being asked questions not related to her work, which is plain to see on that stage in all its glory, was starting to piss me off royally. She was getting increasingly more upset with each question, and though she tried to keep on her more pleasant face, I could see that she was going to up and leave that stage in minutes.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

“OKAY STOP!” I screamed. After one reporter asked about her opinion on my hygiene. I pushed past the ponies, and climbed on stage, so mad that I wasn’t going to bother taking the stairs. I rushed to the microphone, grabbing it from the magical grip of Hoity Toity,

“Sorry Mr. Toity…” I apologized. He harrumphed at my unorthodox action. “But I can’t just sit around, and let you reporters ask Ms. Rarity such retarded questions!” The ponies gasped, and murmured amongst themselves. “Look at yourselves…better yet…look at the work that’s on that stage!” I point to her fashion line, “Look at how wonderful, and beautiful it is! And instead of asking this pony…” I turn to Rarity, whose wide eyed expression of surprise was unwavering, “How she came to be such a flawlessly talented individual…you ask her about me!” I walk over to her, as I continue my speech.

“I get it, I’m the first human here, I know you’re all curious, but that doesn’t give you the right to push what really matters tonight to the side! I came here tonight, in support of this mare.” I put an arm around her, “I personally don’t find fashion all that interesting, but I came here, because she wanted me to. She even made this suit for me, for god’s sake, and it’s an awesome suit!” They murmur some more. I look over at Rarity, who is smiling. “She deserves as much attention as these fine ponies on stage with us tonight. So, I’m going to give this mic back to Mr. Toity over there, and remove myself from the stage. When I do, you ask Rarity the right questions. If any of you try to change the subject back to me, let’s just say I won’t be happy. Deal?” The reporters nod rapidly.

“Now…” I walk over to Hoity “I re-introduce…Miss Rarity…” I hand the mic back over to Hoity, and walk back to my table. Sitting down, I look back at her, and see her mouth the words ‘Thank you’ to me, which brought a smile to my face.

This time, they asked the right questions.

During the ride back home, Rarity couldn't stop thanking me for my interruption of those crazy ponies, asking those offensive questions. I tried to brush it off, being a whole gentleman about it, but she wouldn’t change the subject. She ended her little speech about my kindness, with a big hug, one that nearly crushed my ribs, if she got any tighter.

We got home, and I paid the chauffeur a couple bits, saying that I could walk home from there. He thanked me, and went off to parts unknown.

“Well…” I started, “Tonight was…interesting.”

“I cannot thank you enough, for everything that you did. I just wanted to strangle those ponies!”

“You thanked me enough back in the carriage. I think I need an ice pack for my ribs, after that.” We chuckled.

“Did you really mean what you said about me?”

“Every word. You’re amazingly talented, Rarity. More than I could ever be.”

“That’s not true…”

“Of course it is. Tell me to make a suit, and I’ll more than likely burn the place down.” We both share a laugh. Just then, I see a blush grace her cheeks.

“Would you…like to come inside…for a drink?”

I smirk, and then kneel down to her level.

“That sounds…awfully tempting. But I've seen enough stories to know where that leads. One drink will become two, two will become many, and then…mistakes could be made.”

“You’re probably right.” she puts a hoof on my shoulder, “You’re a good friend, Matt. And I would hate to complicate things. Can't blame a girl for trying, though.” We chuckle.

“Not at all. I’ll see you around, Rarity. Maybe I’ll come by, and help you out sometime.”

“That would be lovely.” I stand to leave. “Wait! You’re still my date. It’s customary to give your date a kiss goodnight.”

“Is it, now? Are you sure you’re not trying to…”

“Oh no! Definitely not.”

“But…this was all a sham anyway.”

“So? I told you that I was going to sell this for all it’s worth, even if there are no other ponies around. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Just…imagine me as someone you actually want.” She makes a flawed argument, but who was I to not indulge her?

“Okay.” I kneel back down, “Someone I really want, huh?” I think to myself, “That can’t be too hard.” I put a hand on her cheek.

“No holding back now, okay?” she closes her eyes.

“Yes ma’am.” I lean in and kiss her. It’s not like what I’ve normally had. With tongues forcefully invading my mouth, and all that weird stuff. Actually, there was no tongue at all. Just a nice soft warm kiss. After a couple extra seconds, we part. She gave off a slight giggle.

“I can’t believe I got you to do that. So… who did you imagine?”

“Just somepony I’m interested in.”

I get up, and started my trek back home. I hear Rarity call out to me.

“What? I said somebody! You said somepony! Who is it? Matt? Tell me!”

I don’t answer. I give her a wave goodbye, and keep on walking. I wonder if she’ll figure it out eventually.

Spoiler alert for you, dear reader…it’s not her.

The First Week

Walking onto Sweet Apple Acres at early morning is a strange time. It’s very quiet, kind of eerie, but also calm. The nice cool breeze, swaying the trees around, but the sound of applebucking, is nowhere to be heard.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself. After yet another week of nothing entirely interesting, save for being flung into a tree by some blue unicorn that referred to herself in the third person constantly, it was time to commence with my job as an assistant to the Apple family, as they begun Applebuck Season. I woke up super early for this, since none of them gave me a specific time to come over, despite the fact that I showed up every other day of the week to hang out with them. Maybe they forgot to tell me, or maybe they did, and I was being dumb, who knows? Probably the latter, considering my intelligence levels.

I went up the steps, and knocked on the door. Immediately, it flung open, revealing Applejack, as a smile adorned her face.

“Matt! How nice of you, to come to the farm so early!”

“I wasn’t sure what time you wanted me to come on by. I don’t think we set up a time.”

“Considering how ya sleep, we didn’t expect ya for another couple hours. Ya want some breakfast?”

“I had a small bite already, but thank you.”

“Aw horse apples, come on in! One tiny little bite isn’t going to keep you going for all that liftin’ ya gonna do!” She pulled me inside, and shoved me into the kitchen, where the rest of the family was having their breakfast, which contained either cereal, apples…or apple pie. What was a desert where I came from, was a breakfast item here. Should be strange, but I’ve been here for a month now, and I have become desensitized to the whole thing.

I had my fill of an apple, and some whole grain cereal, before Applejack and Big Mac were ready to go for the first big day. Applejack mentioned how excited she was to be applebucking with the extra help. She talked about one time when she did most of it by herself, after Big Mac’s back was injured from a freak tree accident. By the time she was halfway through, she went more than a little nuts, before Twilight and the others came along to help.

Stretching my legs, arms, and cracking my knuckles, I was ready to go. This was going to be my job for the next couple weeks, and I was going to do my best to enjoy it.

As the ten o'clock bell rang, the first kick came. Applejack and Big Mac went from tree to tree, bucking apples off like they’ve been doing it their whole lives. I would empty the barrels into the wagon, and setting them up by trees they will be going to. The process started off rather hard, considering that I was still tired from waking up so early in the morning, but I got the hang of it after a bit of moving around.

That’s not to say there weren’t any mishaps, though. In my haste, I ran to a tree mid applebuck, and was instantly bombarded by a ton of apples. I got a good bump on the head for the rest of the day. There was also the case of Applebloom, and her friends. Because of them, I had my first encounter with one of those random opening cellar doors Twilight warned me about during my first week in Equestria. As I was pulling the wagon back to the farm, to empty out the apples, the door opened in front of me, and I fell inside, scaring the bejeezus out of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Received a few bumps and bruises in the process, but nothing seriously injured. Maybe my pride, but that went away a long time ago.

They apologized to me, after some scolding by Applejack. She seemed really concerned for my safety, kind of protectively so, I assumed it was because I had a tendency to get hurt all the time. I don’t know why, but after being in this world for as long as I have, I don’t mind so much when I get myself into injury causing situations. It seemed as if I was getting used to it, like it was a daily routine. Besides, it provided a good laugh later on.

For the next few days, all we did was applebuck all over the farm. Even with two of them powering through the trees, they only hit a quarter of the entire field. They would routinely ask me to get them water, and I would oblige, running with all my might across the orchard to fetch them a glass of water. Eventually, I would get them both a huge bucket of the stuff, and carry it around in the wagon for them. Saved lots of running time, and energy.

That didn’t stop me from coming home every night, with joints so sore, that it was hard to move the next day. I kept on going, I had to. I wasn’t going to chicken out after all this time looking forward to the day, where I would actually go outside and work. The Apple family was grateful for my help, I was just happy to make myself useful for once.

Before we knew it, the first week was up. We ended on a particularly hot day, the hottest day of the year, so I was told. We were all sweating profusely, panting from all the moving around that we did.

“How…how did we do?” I asked.

“Just about half way done.” Applejack said, “I think it’s a good place to stop for today. We’ll continue next week. Use the weekend to cool our muscles.”

“Good idea.” I give them the thumbs up, “I’m bushed.”

“Ah got an idea.” Big Mac said, “Come on, you two.”

Big Mac lead us past the farm, all the way to a massive lake right outside ponyville. As we walked down the rickety dock, I was awed by the lake’s size. That thing was so big; a giant sea monster would have had a field day inside it. Bad idea to put that thought in my head, as I got nervous to think of diving in.

“Go on, Matt.” Applejack said, “You first.”

“Uh...I’m not sure about this.”

“What’s the matter? Can’t ya swim?”

“I can swim fine. It’s just…are there any monsters in there?”

“Nah. There hasn’t been a report of a lake monster for ten years.”

“What?” That didn’t do much to boost my confidence, whatever little there was.

“Just go in there. What are ya? Chicken?”

“I’m more cautious than anything. Maybe we should…”

“Too late!” Applejack shouted.

Unexpectedly, I feel her jump onto my back, and latch onto me, as I fumbled around from the added weight on me.

“Gah! Pony on my back! Pony on my back!” I stumble around the dock.

“Yee haw! Ride em cowpony!” Applejack was having the time of her life, treating my back like a bull riding competition.

My little clumsy dance around the dock came to an end, as we both fell right into the lake. For summer weather, the water was shockingly cold. One could almost be forgiven to think that winter came the instant we fell inside. I swam right to the surface in a panic, spitting out water, and screaming about the temperature. Applejack came up shortly afterwards, chuckling that memorable chuckle.

“It’s cold!” I shouted, “How is it so cold?!”

“Don’t know. It’s always been like this.” She looks at me, and starts laughing. “Matt…” she smiles, “You’re wearing my hat.”

I move my gaze upwards, and see that I was indeed wearing her hat. So that’s why my head felt so heavy all of a sudden. As I looked up, the hat’s weight came down over my eyes. My head was a little too small for the extra space. I chortle at my blindness.

“Let me help you.” I hear her swim over to me, moving the hat up, letting me see once again. “That’s better. You don’t look too bad in a cowpony hat.”

“Maybe it’s something I could get used to.” I say with a smirk. Her cheeks blushed a soft red, a sight I hadn’t seen since our small misunderstanding when I went to see her farm for the first time.

The moment is then cut short by the sounds of not only Big Mac, but the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who followed us over here, without my knowledge.

“CANNONBALL!” Big Mac screamed with joy, as he jumped into the water with a big splash reminiscent of a miniature tidal wave, separating myself and Applejack in an instant.

The other splashes by the Crusaders were considerably smaller, since they were only fillies. The thoughts of being attacked by a sea monster disappeared from my mind, as we all laughed and played in the lake for hours on end. The coldness I was feeling was all but gone, though I was sure it was going to come back later in a much unwanted cold fever.

As the sun was setting, we all came out of the lake, and back onto the dock, still chuckling at all the fun we had. My clothes predictably clung to my skin, while the coats of everypony else seemed perfectly fine, if not for the massive amount of water that soaked them.

“We should do that again, sometime.” I said.

“Yeah!” Applebloom exclaimed, “That was fun!” The other crusaders nodded their heads in agreement.

“Next week, when we’re finished up with Applebuck Season. We’ll take another dive.” said Big Mac, “Let’s get back to the house, and dry up.”

I separated myself from the group, waving them goodbye, and started my walk back home.

“Wait!” Applejack called out to me, “You’re not coming with us?”

“You go on ahead. I’ll clean up at home. I’ll see you Monday.” Before I left, I noticed the disappointed look on her face. “Is something wrong?”

“Nah.” she returns with a smile, “Just tired, is all. I’ll see you Monday.” She waves goodbye, and goes back to her family, who have already trotted off.

I walked back home, wet and cold; the water leaving a trail every step of the way. Eventually, I made it back to the house, still dripping, but not as much as I originally was. Spike and Twilight were sitting by the couch, reading their own books, when they look up at my soaked self.

“Woah.” Spike said, “You’re all wet.”

“What happened to you?” asked Twilight.

“We went celebrating the first week by jumping into a lake. Now I’m wet, cold, tired, and probably a bit dirty. So…I’m going to go take a bath, before going to bed.” I head towards the bathroom.

“Matt…” Twilight says. I look back at her. “Why are you wearing Applejack’s hat?”

I glance up to see that I was still wearing her hat. I take it off, amazed that I had it on the whole time.

“Huh. I had no idea I was still wearing this.” I look up to see the two of them looking at me with curiosity. “When we fell in, her hat floated over and went on my head when we surfaced. I guess I never took it off….” I trailed off as I looked back at the hat.

I stared at it for what felt like an eternity. Applejack knew I still had it on, but she never asked for it back. She could have taken it from me before I left…was that why she wanted me to come with them? Did she think I was stealing her hat? I hope not. If she did, she would have said something…wouldn’t she?

Maybe…just maybe…the reason why she was so disappointed was….

“Matt?” Twilight interrupted my thoughts. I snap out of it, and look up. “Are you okay?”

I shake my thoughts away, and do what I could to act like nothing was wrong.

“Y-yeah. I’m good. I’ll go return the hat to her tomorrow.” I put the hat on the rack by the door. “Time for that bath.” I proclaimed as I walked to the bathroom, Twilight and Spike’s gaze still following my movements until I closed the door.

The following afternoon, after some time relaxing, and doing some small chores around the house, I decided it was time to go back to Sweet Apple Acres and return Applejack’s hat to its rightful owner. The hat was all dried up by the time the clock struck three o'clock, and was in perfect condition. Those cowpony hats are a durable bunch, I tell ya.

I strolled to the farm, in no rush. She was probably going to be there with the family. If not, then I could always have given it to Granny Smith, or put it on the porch. As I walked, I noticed that the clouds were forming. But, it wasn’t like a normal cloud formation, the Pegasai were moving the clouds into a bunched up super cloud. Rainbow Dash was among those putting the clouds up.

“Hey, Rainbow!” I shouted. I caught her attention.

“Oh, hey Matt.” she smiled and waved, “What are you doing with Applejack's hat?”

“Long story. I’m going to bring it back. What’s with the clouds?”

“We missed a few deadlines to make some small rain storms, so we have no choice, but to make a super duper rainstorm. You better hurry up, if you don’t want to get drenched.”

“Will do. Thanks.” I had no time to question the logic of Equestrian weather. I waved Rainbow Dash off, so she can continue with her work, and ran as fast as I could to the farm.

I made it within five minutes of just straight on running. There wasn’t a deadline for the storm to start, as far as I knew, but better safe than sorry. I knocked on the front door, and it opened up. Applejack was once again on the other side. She seemed genuinely surprised to see me.

“Matt? What are you doing here?”

“I…” I was out of breath. It took a bit to get the next few words out. “I came to see you.” She blushed again, until I raised the hat up to her. “I didn’t realize…I was still wearing this…when I left…oh god.” I breathe in and out.

“Are you alright, sugarcube?”

“Yeah…sure…totally fine…just ran a couple miles nonstop to get here…but I’ll be okay.”

“Why would ya do a silly thing like that?”

“Oh, you know…getting exercise…avoiding rainstorms.”

“Avoiding…” We hear a rumble in the clouds. The sound of thunder. “Aw, not again. Get inside, now.”

“No, no…it’s fine. I just wanted to…”

“Sorry, Matt, but ya have to get inside, now.” She doesn’t give me much of a choice, clamping onto my shirt with her teeth, and pulling me inside. I let out a cartoonish yelp as she threw me in, and slammed the door shut, locking it multiple times.

“Woah! Where’s the fire?” I asked.

“Storms like this get really nasty. I ain’t gonna let ya run out there without any protection.”

“Okay, then give me an umbrella or something. I’ll return it tomorrow.”

She pauses for a second, looking at me. It looked like she was considering it for a few seconds, but then she shakes her head, refusing my request.

“Ah don’t wanna risk it. Granny Smith!” she calls out to the kitchen. Granny Smith pokes her head out.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Put another bowl on the table. Matt’s gonna stay with us tonight.”

“Tonight?" I questioned. "But…”

“No butts, mister. I’d hate to lose you out in that storm. I…” she stops, like she was going to say something. “I mean ‘we’ think you’re too valuable.”

“Oh, well…thanks…I guess.” I put the hat back on her head, adjusting it for her. “There…perfect.”

“Thanks.” she chuckles, “But you put it on backwards.” She re-adjusts it. “Now it’s perfect.”

I never had dinner with the Apple family before. Lunch, yeah, but dinner? No. I sat where I normally sat at the table, eating a undeniably delicious vegetable stew Granny Smith made. She was watching me take bite after bite of it, wondering if I liked it. I merely gave her a smile and a nod, and she went back to eating her helping.

“So, how long are ya gonna stay here?” Applebloom asked.

“Until the morning, unless the storm continues.”

“No, I mean how long are ya gonna stay here…in Equestria?”

“According to the Princess…for the rest of my life.”

“Aren’t ya gonna miss yer friends and family, back home? They must be awful worried about you.”

It had been a long time since I considered what my family might have been going through when I disappeared. By this time, I would have given them a call to tell them how I was doing. Since I hadn’t, they must have thought I either died, or refuse to answer their calls; both bad outcomes to their predicament. My parents were pretty great folks, and I feel bad for leaving them the way that I did. I only wish there was some way to contact them, to let them know I was safe, and with friends. Looking around the table, I realized I trailed off with my mind.

“I am.” I replied. “But there’s nothing I can do about it now, unfortunately.”

“What were your parents like?”

“Applebloom…” Applejack said sternly.

“No, it’s okay.” I assured her, “They were nice people. Sure, they were a little demanding, but that’s what parents were like, where I came from. They still took me to places, cheered me on to do my best, and tucked me into bed when I was younger. They were the only parents I had, and I wouldn’t have traded them for the world.” The thought of missing them hit me like a ton of bricks. Soon, I felt a tear run down my cheek. “Huh…I haven’t done that in a while.” Applebloom pushed a napkin my way, allowing me to dry my tear. “Thanks. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get all sentimental on you guys.”

“I know what’ll cheer you up, sonny.” Granny Smith gets up, walking to the living room, “Follow me, you’ll feel better in no time.”

“Granny, don’t…” Applejack pleaded.

“It’s embarassin’!” Applebloom joined in.

“Eeeyup!” Big Mac agreed.

“Oh, quiet you three! I’m sure Matt would love this! Sit down, you!”

I walk into the living room, where Granny Smith had a big book on her lap. I sit down next to her, and she instantly opened up the book. It was full of pictures of the Apple family, at various points in time. The others winced in embarrassment, as Granny Smith flipped the pages to reveal them as fillies.

“This was Applejack at 2 years old. She had a little trouble walkin’, as you can see.” She shows me a picture of Applejack walking into Big Mac.

“Aww…you look so cute AJ.” I grinned at her.

“Stop it you.” she pushes me in annoyance, “This ain’t funny.”

“And this is Big Mac’s first applebuckin’.” She shows Big Mac, getting rained on by dozens of apples. ”He cried for hours when that happened. Couldn’t get him to applebuck again for more than a month.”

“Granny Smith, please!” Big Mac said, “No more!”

She continued on with the picture show for a while. Each picture proving to be more embrassing than the last, For me, it got even funnier, and sometime cuter. They all made rather adorable fillies, which was more I could say for the babies of my world.

“And this here is Applebloom, at her first day of school.” She shows a picture of Applebloom crying in the middle of a school crowd. “Poor youngin, didn’t want to leave the house.”

Applebloom knocks the book from Granny Smith’s hooves.

“You didn’t see nothin’!” She shouted.

“Oh, fine you party poopers. I’m going to bed and read mah stories.” Granny Smith got up from the couch, beginning her trot up the stair. “G’night y'all.”

“G’night Granny Smith.” They all said in unison.

Big Mac and Applebloom said their good nights as well, and went up the steps to their respective rooms. All that sat in the living room, was just me and Applejack. I wasn’t sure at the time, but being alone together felt rather…awkward.

“Um…good night, Applejack.”

“Hold on….” she said, “Ya ain’t sleeping on the couch.”

“Why not?”

“It’s rather uncomfortable.”

“Seems okay to me.” I press down on the mattress. It felt pretty nice.

“That’s what ya think. But, after a while, it’ll start to hurt your back, and you know how that gets.”

“Oh…” I considered the last back injury I got, “You have a point. Do you have a guest room?”

“That’s the thing…we don’t.”

“Then, should I sleep on the floor?”

“On the hardwood, in the middle of a rainstorm? Not likely!”

“We’re kind of running out of options here, AJ. Where should I sleep?”

“I…” she starts to stammer, like she’s getting progressively more nervous, “Ya can’t sleep in Granny Smith’s bed. Her snoring sounds like a train. Ya can’t sleep in Applebloom’s bed, because she wouldn’t like that. And Big Mac….”

“Because he’s Big Mac.” I completed her explanation.

“Right, so that just leaves….” she doesn’t say it, but she doesn’t have to.

“Is that okay?” I asked.

“Look, I don’t think you have any other options. But, if ya try anything…”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” I told her, “I’m more worried about you.” I say with a chuckle.

“Knock it off.” she giggles, whilst lightly punching me with her hoof, “I’ll get an extra blanket.”

She led me to her room, and placed the extra blanket on her bed. It looked big enough to fit the both of us. I glance over at the clock, and see that it reads close to ten. Was I really there for that long? I suppose looking at those pictures with the family took longer than I thought. Applejack was the first to get into bed. She stayed on the left side, patting the right with her hoof, letting me know it was okay to get in. I laid down, and got under the covers.

The bed was nice and cozy, which would have been great, if I still wasn’t so hung up on the fact that Applejack was next to me. She watched me relax, and saw the favorable look on my face.

“You good?” she asked me. I nodded my head. “Well…good night, Matt.” She turned off the light, darkening the room. The only source of light was the outside, which wasn’t much help. I watched her shift around, turning her back to me.

Within a couple minutes, I heard her fall fast asleep. I envy those who go into dreamland that quickly, it normally takes me a half hour to descend into sleep. I closed my eyes, as I heard the storm raging outside. The wind blowing the trees against the window, their branches scraping against the house. The time it took to take me to finally fall asleep was a little more than the normal time.

Being that I spent the week applebucking with the family, all I was dreaming about was…more applebucking. Only this time, I myself was a pony, helping them kick trees, freeing them of the apples that were hanging from the. Everypony thanked me for my help, and I felt really good about…

CRACK!

The sound of thunder and the flash of lightening woke me from my sleep. Damn, and it was a pretty nice dream too. I thought that when I would eventually turn into a pony, that I could be an even greater help around the farm. That particularly good thought would have to wait, though, as I turned my head to see Applejack closer to me, still sound asleep. I stare at her face, realizing how cute she looked when she was sleeping. I scooted back a little, trying to give her more room.

Just then…CRACK! Another booming sound of thunder. Suddenly, Applejack got even closer to me, landing a hoof across my chest. My eyes widened as I looked back to her. She was face to face with me now, practically breathing on my mouth. I look back up at the ceiling, pondering what do next. Do I wake her up, letting her know that we were having an amazingly awkward moment? Or do I gently push her away, back to her side of the bed?

I chose option B. I placed a hand on her shoulder, and began the slow process of pushing her away when…BOOM! Another thunder noise. In an instant, she lunged at me, holding me in a tight embrace, as she rested her head on my chest. She whimpered as her grip became tighter.

“No!” she quietly said, “No, don’t leave me!”

A sigh left my mouth. “A nightmare…” I thought. “She’s just having a nightmare.”

Still doesn’t excuse the fact that my heart is now racing, and my cheeks are flushed with red. After the initial shock, her breathing became calmer, and eventually synchronized with mine, as I got calmer. Her hug was too tight, there was no way I was going to get her off now. I could wait until she relaxes more, but…somehow…I’m getting tired again.

To hell with it. Slowly, I rest a hand on her hip, another on her shoulder, and I held her close to me like one would a…a…a loved one…..

“What the hell am I doing?” I questioned myself. “I shouldn’t be doing this! I…I…uh-oh.”

I was too relaxed. I fell asleep in an instant.

The morning sun came. The clouds have dissipated, and I awoke to the sound of birds chirping. I look down to see Applejack, still with her forelegs on me, but not as tight as they once were. I move a lock of her mane off her face, and saw that she was sleeping peacefully on my chest. As I smiled, I heard the small sound of somepony clearing their throat. I look to the left to see the door was open; I look to the right to see Applebloom, with a smirk on her face.

Before I could open my mouth, she stopped me, pointing to Applejack. I knew what she meant. She didn’t want me to disturb Applejack’s sleep. Applebloom walked out the door, as I gently pushed Applejack off me. Once I was free from her embrace, I slowly got out of bed, and went into the hallway, where Applebloom waited for me. I closed the door.

“Applebloom…it’s not what you…”

“Ah know.” she interrupted.

“You do? How?”

“She gets like that sometimes during storms. I would normally check on her, and she would be grabbing a pillow. In this case…”

“Me…” I finished her thought.

“Ya didn’t seem to mind, though.” she said with a sly tone of voice.

“It’s not like I had much of a choice. She had a vice grip on my body.”

“I’m sure she did.” she chuckled.

“Listen...I have to get going. When she wakes up, tell her thanks for taking me in.” I go downstairs. Applebloom follows me down.

“You’re not staying for breakfast?” she wondered.

“Not today. I have things to do.” I lied. I just wanted to get away for a while. I put on my shoes, and open the door to leave.

“You like her…don’t you?” Her question gives me pause.

“Yeah…she’s great.” I try to play it off, “I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

“That’s not what I meant. I’ve seen the way you look at her. It’s the same look I saw not a few seconds ago. Just admit it.”

Again, I pause. What do I say to something like that? It’s true, I think Applejack is a great friend, my best friend even. We get along the most out of the six ponies, we hang out the most, we enjoy each other’s company and…holy shit.

Applebloom is right. I…I like…Applejack. I mean, I always liked her. She was a smart, kind pony, who I thought would make any stallion lucky to have her. But it's deeper than that now. I...LIKE like her.

But, I can’t admit it…I won’t admit it. “Not now.” I thought to myself. “Maybe when I become a pony like her.” I continued to think. “I’ll tell her then.” Yeah, that sounded like a good idea. However, I was currently giving Applebloom the silent treatment. I left her hanging with an answer. I give her one.

“I can’t.” I cryptically say, and walk right out the door, and onto the path that will lead me back home.

The next week is going to be a hard one.

The Second Week

Surprises aren’t entirely my thing. There are times where I would find them pleasant or enjoyable, but if the surprise is something I do not like, then I don’t have the greatest reaction. I could very well do something foolish if such a thing came to pass.

And it has.

The surprise came that morning, the morning after I spent the night at Sweet Apple Acres, where I shared a bed with whom I consider to be my best friend in this crazy world, Applejack. What could I say about her, that I haven’t already said in the previous pages before? She doesn’t have the aerial acrobatics of Rainbow Dash, the magical abilities of Twilight or Rarity, the talent of swaying animals like Fluttershy, or…whatever Pinkie Pie does. What she does have is strength, determination, loyalty, and love for her friends and family. I admire everything about her…

And I just found out that I am in love with her…and that scares me.

Lyra, in all her strange and rapey ways, had a point. She asked me what I would do when the day came, when I would find myself attracted to a pony. I didn’t give her an answer, hiding behind my excuse of having the transformation being done, so that I wouldn’t have to worry about it. Now, here I was, faced with that same question. The truth is…I had no idea. I told myself that Applejack would never know about my feelings, until I am one of them. She had shown me great kindness up to this point, and I would’ve hated to screw things up now.

The best thing I could have done was to ignore it, and keep on moving with life. The worst thing I could have done, was to keep it in my mind at all times, and avoid contact with the one I cared for, possibly giving her mixed signals.

Guess which one I picked?

The second week of applebuck season began, and I arrived early, like I did last week. I had a hearty breakfast before leaving the house, so I waited outside for Big Mac and Applejack to arrive. Once they did, I was all business. Loading up the barrels by the trees, filling up buckets of water for them to drink, and did my job with great efficiency. I didn’t get into any accidents, mishaps, or misfortunes that would have injured me, or at the very least, given me a slight bruise.

“Wow!” Big Mac said, impressed, “Yer really steppin’ it up today, Matt!”

“Yeah, yer doing a fine job.” Applejack approached me, ready to give me a tap on the stomach. I backed away from her, now afraid of her touch. She cocked her head to the side in confusion.

“Thanks.” was all I said, before taking the wagon off to be emptied of its contents.

For the first half of the week, I tried to keep this calm and collected attitude around them; trying to put on a serious and professional look, that would scream ‘no crap workaholic’. They looked at me like I was a different person now, my personality has changed completely, and they did not know why. Sure, my work ethic had improved exponentially, but I was no longer the good-natured, accident prone man that they knew. They would offer me chances to have dinner with them, like I did that stormy night, but I refused, choosing to walk back home almost immediately after the day’s work was done.

I felt like crap every time the day ended, pushing them…specifically her…away from me, but my brain was telling me that it was the right thing to do. Just a couple more months, and I can end this charade, and go back to who I really am.

Wednesday hit, and I was being my serious self, as usual. Like a good worker, I began to pull the wagon back to the farm for emptying. Unfortunately, somepony was following me. Applejack was following me.

“Hey, do you have time ta talk?” she asked. I said nothing. “Okay…um…can ya nod or somethin’?” I still say nothing. Every fiber of my being wants to talk to her, but I was afraid I was going to say or do something stupid. “I just wanna say what a great job you been doin’. We couldn’t have done it without ya.”

I take a small glance at her, seeing her smiling face. “Thanks.” was what I said.

“The thing is…how do ah put this...you’ve been rather…distant lately. Is everythin’ okay?”

“I’m fine.” I say coldly.

“Really? It doesn’t look okay. Are you sure…”

“I said I’m fine.” I snap back. I can see her flinch off the corner of my eye. Every second I spend with her is making me increasingly nervous.

“Did…did I so something’ wrong? Cause if I did…”

“Look!” I yelled, “Don’t you have a job to do?! I’m trying to do mine!”

She backs away, head leaned back, in complete shock at my outburst. My heart sank as I saw the tears forming in her eyes. She tries to fight them, as she slowly walks backwards, away from me.

“Alright…I’ll…I’ll leave ya to it then. Sorry to have bothered you.” She turns and gallops away, scared and saddened by me. I almost cried right then and there, pissed off at myself for what I did.

“You’re such an asshole, Matt!” I thought to myself, “You can’t keep doing this! She’s going to hate you!” The other side of my mind fires back, “But…I have to. She can’t know how I feel. Just keep on going.” I continue to pull the cart away.

The next day came. Applejack was nowhere to be found. It was just myself and Big Mac. He continued to do his job, and I continued to do mine. There was silence amongst each other, until I decided to talk.

“Where’s Applejack?” I asked him.

“She’s in Ponyville. Doin’ mare stuff.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s a hoedown goin’ on at the farm, and she went into town to look for a date. Quite unlike her to be doin’ that, if ya ask me.”

“Why is that unlike her?”

“Normally, when we had events like this, she was content just to go by herself, and hang with her friends. I suppose somepony sparked her interest.”

As we continued to work, we heard galloping approaching the farm. Running past the entrance, was Applejack. However, something was wrong…she was in tears. On instinct, I ran away from Big Mac, and followed behind her.

“AJ!” She starts to slow down, and I began my approach. “AJ, what’s….”

She turned to me in a sudden movement, tears pouring from her eyes, yet seething with hatred and rage.

“Now ya want to talk to me?!”

“Why are you…”

“What do you care?! The whole week, all ya been doin’ is givin’ me the cold shoulder, and not talkin’ to me!” She shouts at me. “Yer acting like a complete jerk, you know that?!”

“AJ…”

“Don’t call me that! Only mah friends call me that! Yer not actin’ like a friend, right now! What did ah do wrong?! What did ah do to make you so mad at me?! Tell me right now!”

“I….” I sigh, “I can’t….”

She shakes her head in disapproval at me, and runs away, sobbing loudly as she gets farther and farther from my sight. I was mad…mad at myself for being this way. This wasn’t me. I was only doing this to protect her, and now I got her thinking that I was a world class jerk. In frustration, I ran to a tree, and kicked it as hard as I could.

Every apple from that tree fell on to me. That hurt. I guess a career in applebucking isn’t completely out of the question.

I emerged from that pile with all the sense I had lost knocked right back into me. I ran after her.

Following the trail of hoof prints on the ground, it only led to one thing…the dock. I ran with all my might, surprised that she ran so fast away from me. In a matter of minutes, I was there. Looking at the dock, I see her sitting at the end of it. From where I stood, I could hear the sniffles coming from her. I walk down the path, and step onto the dock.

“Applejack!” I call out to her. She turns, wiping away her tears.

“What do you want?” she glares, “Can’t ya see I don’t wanna talk to ya! Go away!”

“No. I’m staying right here!”

“You take one more step, and yer gonna regret it!” She yells back.

“If you want me gone, you’re just going to have to come over here, and hit me.” I see the cogs in her head in motion, as I prepare myself for the biggest punch of the century. I wasn’t really thinking things through.

“Yer not worth it!” she shouts, “Just leave me alone!”

“I want to talk to you!”

She stands up forcefully, the dock creaks a worrisome sound.

“Go away, and never come ba…”

CRACK! The dock breaks underneath her! Any human would have grabbed onto the wood, and climbed up, but she wasn’t human. She slipped, and fell from the incline, falling to the water below. Before she could, her head smacked against the wood pillar, knocking her out cold as she hit the water, sinking down below.

“APPLEJACK!” I screamed, watching her vanish from my sight.

Without any hesitation, I ran across the dock at near supersonic speeds, and dove in after her. I wasn’t much of a swimmer, when it came to swimming under water, but there’s a first time for everything. I could see the blur of her sinking to the bottom, not waking from that blow to the head. Every second I’m not there, is every second that she is drowning. With all of my strength, I swam after her. I swam and I swam, and I swam, until eventually, I reached her. I grabbed onto her, and kicked my way back to the surface. The water was cold. Colder than it was when we had our first swim together.

I burst from the water, Applejack unconscious in my arms, and I ran to the shore, and set her down on the ground. Quickly, I checked her breathing. She wasn’t breathing. I began to administer CPR.

“Please…” I tell her, breathing into her mouth, “Breathe AJ…just breathe!” I pump her chest, “Don’t do this to me!” I continue with my attempts to revive her, “You’re stronger than this! Don’t die because of me!” I breathe into her once more. Tears form in my eyes, as I lose hope. “No! You can’t! You just can’t!” I keep trying, “Applejack, I love you!”

In an instant, she coughs up the largest amount of water that I ever saw a living thing cough up, making me jump back in surprise. She struggled to breathe, gasping for whatever air she could get.

“Yes!” I go back to her, caressing her cheek softly, “Just breathe AJ…you’re almost there!”

Eventually, the air came back into her lungs. She looked up, and looked into my watering eyes.

“Hey…” she smiled.

“Hey…welcome back.” A tear runs down my cheek.

“Matt…” she said, “You’re wearing my hat again.”

I glanced up, and saw that I was. I place all my attention back on her, and picked her up for a large embrace. I hold her tightly, as if my life depended on it, as tears flow from my eyes.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, AJ! I was an idiot! I’ll never hurt you again! I promise!”

As I held on to her, I started to think. Did she hear what I said? Did she hear my confession? She never said anything about it, perhaps she didn’t hear it. Or, maybe she did, and didn’t want to tell me, or wasn’t sure what to make of it. All she responded with was returning my embrace with one of her own.

Sometime later, we sat together on the less dangerous side of the dock, looking out at the beautiful lake.

“So…why were you crying?” I asked her, “I know it was partially because of me, but…”

“Yer probably going to think I’m being silly.”

“Sillier than I was being?” I smirk. She chuckles.

“There’s a dance comin’ up. Down at the farm.”

“Right, Big Mac mentioned that this morning.”

“It’s one of the few times me and the other members of our family get together, and have some good old fashioned fun. Well…the thing was…I wanted to bring a date with me. So that’s why I went into town, to look for a date. I asked this one stallion if he wanted to go. He seemed nice. He was a member of the Wonderbolts. I gave him a pie once, when I went to the Grand Gallopin’ Gala.”

“But, he said no?” She shakes her head. “What did he say?”

“He…laughed at me.”

“What?” I was shocked, “Why would he do that?”

“He told me that I…I…” she struggled to say the words, “That I was too plain lookin’ to go on a date with.” I was stunned in silence from what she said. “He asked what stallion would want to go out with me, since I was just a plain ol’ farm pony.” She looked back at me, I was still silent. “What?”

“I…” now I’m the one that’s struggling, “I don’t believe that.”

“It’s true! That’s what he said!”

“I know, and I believe you, but I just don’t…believe he said that to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Applejack…” I put a hand on her shoulder, “You’re many things, but plain looking is not one of them. You’re beau…” I pause. She looks to my caring hand on her shoulder, then back at me. “I-I mean, you deserve better than that guy.” I bring my hand back to my side.

“But he’s right. I’m just an unattractive farm pony.”

“No you’re not!” I yell, jumping to her defense, “Believe me, If I was a stallion, I’d go out with you with no hesitation!”

“Why don’t ya?” she quickly says. I stop, mouth open, unsure of what to say next.

“Why don’t I what?” I pretend not to understand the question. Inside my chest, however, my heart pumps wildly at the thought of going out with her.

“Be my date.” she smiles.

“But…I’m not a stallion.”

“So? We’re friends. Who’s to say friends can’t go out with each other?”

“We’re friends? After all the crap I did?”

“Well, you have a lot to make up for. This is just the start of your punishment.” she laughs, I return the emotion. “Saturday night, eight o’clock, in the barn. And…uh…wear somthin’ more…festive. A fancy jacket and tie ain’t gonna cut it where you’re goin’.” She gets up, takes the hat off my head, and putting it onto hers. She starts her walks back to the path. “Thanks for savin’ my rump, by the way. I’m gonna have to think of something to repay you. You like apple pie, right?”

“Of course. I love it.”

“Good to know. See ya Saturday.”

“See you tomorrow, actually. We still have to do some applebucking.” I chortle.

“Oh, right. Almost forgot. See ya tomorrow then.” She walks out of my sight. The moment I don’t see her anymore, I lie down on the dock, letting out all the breath I was holding. Never in my wildest dreams, did I think I would ever end a day with saving the life of somepony that I cared about. But I did, and it felt simultaneously exhilarating, and terrifying. However, as long as she was safe, and still breathing, that’s all I need to get through the day.

As I lay there, my mind went somewhere I didn’t think it would.

“Apple pie…was that a double entendre?” I raise an eyebrow, “Did I really just think that?”

The last couple of days went by at a fast pace. I was back to being my friendly self, and me and Applejack continued on with our friendly banter, and none was the wiser. She didn’t tell anypony about her brush with death, and my heroic actions, I suppose she didn’t want to worry anypony. When Friday ended, applebuck season was officially over. We went down to the lake, where Big Mac and the others were surprised to see the broken dock. Mac said that the thing always was rickety, and will fix it up, as soon as he could. Applejack and I just looked at one another, and winked.

Saturday came, and I had no outfit to wear for the dance. Twilight was going too, and was surprised when I told her that Applejack was going to be my date for the evening.

“Is it like a real date? Or one of those fake dates, like with Rarity?”

“It’s real, Twilight.” I said, “Is that okay?”

“Yeah…” she sounds rather quiet, “Yeah it’s fine…” she changed the subject rather hastily. “So, what are you going to wear?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I have any clothes to fit this occasion. You think Rarity can help out?”

“Not sure. You can ask her.”

So I do. When I told Rarity my plans for the night, her eyes beamed, almost frighteningly so. She sat me down, and ran into her work station. In a half hour, maybe less, she came bursting out with a rather nice ensemble.

“There you are! One southern outfit, made just for you!”

A checkered red shirt, some dark brown slacks, boots, and most important of all, a cowboy hat. I looked back and forth at her and the outfit, unsure if she made this in the short amount of time, or that she had it stashed away, in case I would need something like that.

“Woah…thanks…but…”

Before I could even remotely question the origins of the clothes, she pushed me out with a great amount of ease.

“No more talk, darling! Go out there, and sweep her off her hooves!”

“What…”

She slams the door shut. That was rather odd, if I did say so myself.

The sun went down, and I trekked over to Sweet Apple Acres. I could see many other farmy ponies, and some from ponyville, making their way down the path with me, going all the way to the farm. It was only then I realized just how big that red barn was. It could fit a small town in there, if it wanted to. I saw the lights inside, the country music playing, and there was already some dancing going on, before the set time even!

I looked at my appearance, making sure that I looked presentable for the night. Like with Rarity, I took extra care that I would look and smell my best, though considering the event, I felt that I might have overdone it just a little bit.

I walk inside the barn, to see that everything was already in progress. I even saw Twilight, talking it up with Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. No Rarity though, I wasn’t surprised. Didn’t seem like her kind of thing. A band was the source of the catchy tunes being belted out through the barn. A real genuine hoedown, if I ever saw one.

A tap on my back catches my attention. I turn to see her. Applejack, wearing an appropriately southern style dress, complete with green boots, and a saddle, that was attached to the skirt. Her tail and mane were loose, not tied into a braid, as it used to be. And, who could forget, her signature cowpony hat. Seeing her made my jaw drop on sight. She chuckles at my reaction.

“What do you think?” she asked. As if she needed more than my open mouth to judge how she looked.

“Wow…” I said, “You look…great.”

“You clean up nicely yourself.” she puts a booted hoof on my shirt, feeling the cloth. “Rarity’s work, I assume?”

“You assume correctly.” I gesture to the dance floor, “Shall we?”

“Can you dance?”

“No, but I can sure as hell try.” We both laugh, as we get onto the dance floor.

Running around, carrying barrels of apples, and pulling wagons was child’s play, compared to the art of the dance. The music was catchy, yet frenzied, with the ponies doing a variety of dances, that I have never seen before. But of course I’ve never seen them before, since they’re ponies, naturally. Anytime I try to get into a good rhythm, the style of music changes, making me try to find my groove once again.

Applejack had no such trouble. She owned the dance floor. Her dancing was energetic, almost hypnotic, and just plain fun to look at. She grabbed me further to her, and tried to get me to dance to her pace.

“Just follow my lead.” she said.

She stomped on the floor with a variety of quick draw moves. I try the same, only slower. She does it again, and I do it faster. She moves on to the next set, and then the next, and then the next. Soon, I was dancing like her, and we were both laughing, and having the time of our lives, as we boogied like our lives depended on it. The song then came to a sudden climax, and the ponies applauded the song, as me and Applejack looked at one another, sweating profusely, yet with the widest of smiles.

A more romantic song comes on, and the ponies get close to one another, and have their slow dance. Applejack blushes, turning to leave to the tables.

“This I can’t do.” she says.

On instinct, I place a hand on her shoulder. She turns back to me.

“Just follow my lead.” I said. She smiles and gets closer. Now, I was the teacher.

“I don’t know how to do this. Especially with…you.”

“Relax.” I assure her, “Just let me take these boots off.” I slowly take the boots off her forelegs, “Now, you’re going stand on your two hooves. Can you do that?” She nods nervously. She stands. In this position, she is almost as tall as me. She looks uncomfortable in this position. I understand.

“Good.” I say, “Now, you place a hoof…here.” I put her left hoof on my shoulder, “And I put my hand…here.” I place my right hand on her hip, bringing her in closer. “Then, we take our free hands…” I hold her right hoof, “And we swayyyy….” We do so.

I look around at the other ponies…looking at us, like what we are doing is completely foreign to them. I look back at Applejack. She is struggling with the dance. I go even slower, to a pace where she can get comfortable. Eventually, she gets into it, just as the second slow song begins to play. She rests her head on my chest.

“You’re heart…” she says, “It sounds like it’s gonna burst.”

“That’s because it is.” I joke.

“Do I make you nervous?”

“…Terrified.” I stammer, “B-but in a good way.”

“You know, you never told me why you were being such a jerk to me.”

“Oh, right. That.”

“Was it something I did?”

“No, it was something I did.”

“What do you mean?”

I sigh. It was time for a confession.

“When I spent the night in your room. You…grabbed on to me.”

“I did?”

“Yeah. You wrapped your arms around me tighter than the tightest knots in the world. I think you were scared by the thunder.”

“That doesn’t explain what you did.”

“I…I kept it going. I mean, I first wanted to push you off, as a reflex. But as I looked at you…I just couldn’t. I held on to you, I held you close to me, like you are now. And that…”

I stop holding her hoof, and place the free hand on her shoulder. She uses her free hoof to caress my back.

“That scared me. More than you know. There’s something…”

“Matt?" she interrupts, "Can I ask you a serious question?”

“Yeah. You can ask me anything, AJ.”

“You think I’m attractive. Don’t you?” I freeze in place. I look at her, and she looks at me. “You can tell me. I won’t be mad.”

“I…” I gulp, “I do. I think you’re beautiful.” I look away in embarrassment, expecting her to laugh at me. A laugh that never comes.

“Beautiful? As much as Twilight…or Rarity?”

“No.” I look back in her eyes, “Better.”

“Better, huh?” Now she chuckles, “Yer just spouting with that hyperbowl.”

“I think you mean hyperbole.” I correct her. She shakes her head in amusement.

“So tell me. What is it about me, that makes me attractive, to a human like you?”

“What doesn’t?”

“Then, tell me what you like most about me.”

“Truth?” I ask. She nods. “Your eyes.” I put a hand on her cheek, as we look into the depths of each other’s’ soul. “I don’t know what it is, but your eyes are just…perfect.”

“Perfect?” she moves her head closer to me.

“Yeah.” I lean in, “When I look at them…” We are ever so close to locking lips. “I feel…like…”

The song ends. The moment is over. We separate from one another, both with red faces. She puts her boots back on, brushing her hair back, looking around, trying to find something else to talk about.

“I’m going to…get a drink.” she says, heading for the table stacked with barrels of hard cider.

The night continued on like this. Everytime I try to talk to her, to continue to tell her how I feel. She shushes me, and downs another cup of the alcoholic drink. She offers me some, but I decline. While I would like a taste every now and again, I felt that then wasn’t a good time to start drinking. She gets into drinking contests with other ponies, winning each and every one of them. I don’t know where that alcohol is going, but I was surprised that she hadn’t passed out yet. Normal humans in my world would have been out like a light, before the halfway point of her drinking.

She got progressively drunker, more unpredictable, until she became an absolute mess. The beautiful mare that I saw when the evening started, was now an uncontrollable creature.

“Hey everypony!” she shouted, “I have something to say!” Some turn their gaze towards her. “This human…” she points at me, “…finds me…attractive!” she bursts out laughing, “Can ya'll believe it! No stallion wants me! But this MAN would do anything for me! All ah can say is…YOUR LOSS LOSERS!” she takes a big swig out of the cup, "THE APPLE TRAIN HAS LEFT THE STATION!" She tries to take another swig, but she's all out. “Aw…no more cider…”

“Applejack.” I go to her, catching her when she stumbles. “I think you’ve had enough.”

“You want to kiss me, don’t ya human?” I open my mouth to answer. “Well too bad! Because I’m gonna vomit!”

“Okay. We’re going outside.”

I rush her outside, where she almost immediately vomits all over the grass. I think everything she drank, poured out of her mouth in one extended barf. Before it could become comically overlong, she stops, breathing heavily at what she just did.

“That…was a lot…” she said.

“No kidding. I think I saw a boot come out.” I chuckled.

“You’re…so sweet…” she puts a hoof on my chest, “You’ll never let anythin’ bad happen to me. Ya saved my life! You deserve a reward…”

“You need to rest.” I said, picking her up.

“Take me to bed, human. I’m gonna make you really super happy.” Despite the pile of vomit saying otherwise, her drunkenness hadn’t subsided.

“I’ll take you to bed. But what you’re going to do is take a nice long nap.”

I carry her back to her house. As I walk up the stairs, I see her looking at me with sultry eyes. I do what I can to ignore them. I wasn’t going to let the evening end with what she had planned in the inebriated mind of hers. I bring her to her room, and set her down on the bed, putting the hat on a rack, and placing the covers on her body, caressing her forehead.

“Okay. You’re going to have a really bad hangover tomorrow, but just know that I had a really nice time…apart from this.”

“You love me…don’t you? Don’t lie to me.” she smiles, “You can’t lie to the Element of Honesty.”

“Goodnight, Applejack. I’ll check up on you tomorrow.” I turn for the door.

“No!” she grabs my arm, “Don’t go! Stay with me.”

“Applejack…” I shake my head, “You’re drunk. If I stay…”

“No! We don’t have to do that! I don’t want to do that!”

“But…you were saying…”

“Please! Just stay with me. I…I don’t want to be alone tonight. Just stay…please?”

I sigh. Every part of me wants to say no and leave. But, I look into those eyes. Those perfect eyes, and see some shred of honesty, even within that stupor that she was in. I walk to my side of the bed, and get in. I put the covers over me, and turn off the light.

“That’s better.” she said, moving to me, and grabbing me for an embrace.

“AJ!” I said sternly.

“Relax. I just want to hold you.” she puts her head against my chest, “Hold me.” Reluctantly, I do so, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “There we go.” she relaxes, sighing in relief, “Ah like you, Matt. You want know why I like you?”

“Shoot.” I say.

“Because you’re so nice to me.”

“The others are nice to you too.”

“Not like you…” she yawns, “You…make me…” Her eyes go heavy. “..feel….speciallll….” She trails off, as she falls right to sleep.

I stroke her mane, as I watch her sleep peacefully. Her smile never leaving her face, as she presses her ear against my chest, my heartbeat thumping to the beat of her breaths. I lean down, and kiss the top of her head, and hold her tight against me.

“You are special.” I whisper, in the hopes that she hears me, “Always have been. Always will be.”

I fall asleep.

An Awfully Long Letter

I woke up early the next morning. Applejack was still in my arms, sleeping, but uncomfortably so. That hangover I promised her was coming, and when she woke up, it was not going to be pretty. Carefully, I got out of bed, so as not to wake her, and went down into the kitchen to see if there was headache medicine in the any of the cabinets. Though I’m sure things like Advil and Excedrin (headache medicine where I came from) didn’t exist here, there was sure to be a ponified alternative. I found it, and the name, humorously enough, was rather self-explanatory.

“Headache-B-Gone.” I said to myself, letting out a soft chuckle.

I read the instructions carefully, placed two pills in my palm, got a big glass of water, and went back upstairs. I placed both the medicine and the water by a table next to the bed. With a gentle caress of her mane, I leaned down, kissed her on the forehead, and walked out the bedroom door.

On the way down, I found myself encountering Applebloom, who waited by the door for me, with a smile on her face. I returned her smile with one of my own. She knew that I had finally answered her question from a week back. Content, she walked back up the stairs, and into her bedroom.

Walking back into Ponyville with a renewed sense of purpose was a lovely thing. I was happily in love with a wonderful, beautiful mare, and I was going to do everything not to mess up such a great relationship.

I went to the front door of my home. Unfortunately, I still have not acquired a key from Twilight, so I had to knock on it. In an instant, I heard frantic galloping around the house, but it didn’t sound like only Twilight. Then, the door slowly opened, and I see Twilight staring back at me, with a disheveled mane.

“Are you okay?” I asked her, “I heard noises.”

“I-I’m fine.” Twilight looked at me with shifty eyes, “What are you doing here?”

“I live here. Remember?” I walk past her, “Is everything alright? Did Spike fall over when I got here?”

“N-No. He’s in Canterlot. On business for the Princess.”

“Oh, okay. Well, sorry I showed up so early. I have to make a note to get a key made for myself, so I wouldn’t disturb you.”

“It’s quite alright.” she changes the subject, “Were you at Applejack’s?”

“Yeah. You saw how she was last night, so I put her to bed. She wanted me to stay, so I spent the night with her.”

“You slept with Applejack?” she says, almost accusatory. It took me a moment to answer her.

“Not like that.” I explained. “She fell asleep after I tucked her in.”

“Oh…well good.” she had a weird attitude going on.

“What do you mean ‘good?’” I asked, “Why do you say it like that?”

“Well, I mean…humans and ponies having relations would be pretty weird, that’s all.”

“Is…” I think for a few seconds, “Is there some kind of subtext I’m missing here? Why would it be weird?”

“You told me that in your world, humans having relations with animals is considered illegal. So, it would have been strange if you suddenly decided that not to be the case.”

“Yeah, but the animals in my world don’t look or talk the way you ponies do.”

“It’s still wrong, if you did anything.”

“Why is this even your business?”

“It’s my business when you start sleeping with my friends!”

“Hey, Applejack is my friend too! I care for her a great deal, so if I wanted to start a relationship with her, I would have no problem doing it!”

“Well, you can’t!”

“Why not?!”

“Becau…”

A clatter is heard in the bathroom. I turn to the door, and then back at Twilight. She looks at me with panicked eyes.

“I-It’s nothing.”

“Like hell it is.” I say, as I walk to the door. I flung it open to look inside. To my absolute shock and awe, I see… "Big Mac?!” I yell, as the red stallion looked at me, knowing that he is caught. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I point at him, then back at her. “You…and her?”

“Eeeyup.” Big Mac responds.

Thinking for a long while about the situation before me, I began to chuckle, as I turn back to Twilight. I wasn’t chuckling out of amusement, but out of disbelief and anger.

“You’re unbelievable, Twi.”

“I can explain…”

“Explain what? That you slept with Big Mac? Nah, that’s fine. I’m not mad about that. What I’m mad about, is you giving me lip about spending the night with Applejack, when nothing happened, yet you expect me to be okay about you and Big Mac sleeping together? You’re such a hypocrite!”

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes you are!”

“At least I slept with my own kind!”

“That makes no sense! I’m the only freaking human here! Do you expect me to be single for the rest of my life?”

“You’re not genetically compatible with us! I did the research!”

“Who cares about the goddamn research?!”

Twilight storms out into the backyard in a huff. She slams the door, leaving me and Big Mac alone. I look back at him.

“So, how was your night?” I asked him.

“Pretty good.” he gives me a slight smirk.

“Yeah, I bet.” I leave him, and go out to the backyard.

I see Twilight standing in the middle of the yard, looking up at the sky. I walk towards her, in a determined fashion, demanding answers for her behavior.

“Okay, Twilight. No more games, just what the hell is…” Suddenly, she quickly turns around, stands, and plants a kiss firmly on my lips. I widen my eyes at this sudden turn of events. I grab her, and quickly push her off of me, and she falls to the ground. My mouth completely open, with no words coming out. I point in all different directions, trying to make sense of what just happened. Finally, only one word came out.

“WHAT?!” I screamed at her, “That’s what this is about?!”

“Matt…” she quietly said.

“You’re jealous?! That’s it?! You wanted me all to yourself, so you just come up with all these bogus excuses to keep me away from Applejack?!”

“They’re not bogus. You are genetically incompatible.”

“So what?! How long were you not going to tell me about this?”

“Until you became one of us. Then, I was going to tell you.”

“Well, you’re too late now. I’ve already made my decision, I have already fallen for somepony else.” My mind goes back to who is currently still standing alone in the house. “So, what’s Big Mac to you?”

“He’s just a friend. He took me home, and one thing led to another…”

“So, you used him to vent your frustrations out on me, didn’t you?” Twilight was silent, “This isn’t like you, Twi! The Twilight I know wouldn’t use her friends like that!”

“You don’t know what it’s like, Matt! To spend time with somepony you care about every day, when you can only stand there and say nothing!”

“Yeah…I do. I understand better than you know.”

“No! You don’t! I’ve watched you go out there, and see Equestria, marveling at everypony there! Everypony…but me! Everyday, I wanted to tell you how I felt, how I admired you and your good nature, but I was scared how you would react! Now, I find you being driven into the hooves of another mare, and that made me angry! I admit it, I was jealous! I wanted nothing more than to bring you to me, but I….I….”

Twilight tears up, then sits down on the ground, sobbing.

“I’m so sorry, Matt….” she sniffles, “I really messed this up, didn’t I?”

I kneel down to her, take her by the shoulders, and bring her in for an embrace. I allow her to cry, as I feel my shoulder get wet from the tears. I gently stroke her mane; instantly reminding me of the time I made Pinkie Pie cry in Central Park.

“Now you listen to me, Twilight Sparkle. One day, you will meet somepony, who will sweep you off your hooves, and give you everything you deserve. I’m sorry that it’s not going to be me. I’m sorry that you’ve held this torch for so long, and it will go unlit. But hear this, I will always be there for you, I will always be loyal to you, and I will always help you when you need it. But, only as a friend. That’s all I can give you.”

I feel her nod her head in response, understanding my words.

“And for the record, you didn’t mess this up. You kicked me out of the house once, and I still didn’t hate you.” I hear her chuckle through the sobs. We separate, and look at each other for a long while. She wipes her tears away, smiling as she does it.

“I have to go away for a while.” Twilight said, “I’ll be visiting the Princesses in Canterlot. Maybe think over a few things.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I shouldn’t be gone for more than a few days.”

“Okay. You take all the time you need. I’ll make sure the place doesn’t burn down.”

“You better. After all we’ve been through; I’d hate to beat you into unconsciousness.” She laughs. “You really love her…don’t you?”

“I do.” I respond, “I’ve never felt this way before.”

“Well…you take good care of her, then.” she smiles, “I’ll see you later.”

Suddenly, in a quick flash, she teleports away. Probably to Canterlot, probably to the train station, I do not know. All I knew then, was that I was now keeled in the middle of the backyard, to nopony in particular.

I go back inside, and see Big Mac getting some breakfast out of the fridge. He looks back at me, like a puppy caught eating someone else’s food.

“Everythin’ alright?” Big Mac asked, obviously unaware of what transpired outside.

“Yeah, everything is fine, Big Mac. She just went to Canterlot for some official business.”

Big Mac nods, setting some food down on the table, ready to eat it.

“Ah hope you don’t mind. But after last night, I’m really hungry.”

“Help yourself.” I said, “It’s alright.”

“Ya should have seen it, Twi was quite something. She…”

“UH-UH!” I stammer, holding a hand up to stop him, “I appreciate your enthusiasm for Twilight’s…skills…but that’s something you two should keep to yourselves.”

“Ah, understood.” Big Mac winks, “I can’t really explain it…but I think ah like her. I mean, I always thought she was great. Heck, I kept a doll of hers in mah room. But, ah always felt some kind of connection. Do you think she feels the same way?”

“Not sure.” I smirk, “You should tell her, when she gets back.” I turn to the door, “By the way, Applejack is going to wake up with a massive hangover, fairly soon. You mind checking up on her for me, after you’re done eating?”

“Can do, Matt.” He starts chowing down on the sandwich he has concocted. I shake my head in amusement, and walk out the door, key in hand.

I spent a good hour sitting in a donut shop, owned by a stallion appropriately named Donut Joe. He wasn’t having a very busy day, considering it was a Sunday, but I bought a few donuts from him, with fresh glasses of milk. It had been a while since I had a donut. The last time I had one, was about a year ago, when I was down on my luck after a particularly bad day at my now nonexistent job.

My work at Sweet Apple Acres, plus my nonstop consumption of fruits and vegetables, had made my body surprisingly fit, with little of my old, somewhat pudgy self, recognizable. It was time for something as old fashioned as a donut.

“You want another one, buddy?” Joe asked me.

“Sure, why not?” I agreed, plunking down another couple of bits. “What’s another donut?” He nodded his head, and gave me a glazed donut, with rainbow colored sprinkles. A classic, if I do say so myself.

Just then, the door opened, the bell above rang, and Joe’s eyes lit up like the fourth of July.

“Rarity!” he said with gusto, “It’s great to see you again!”

“You too, Joe.” I hear her say. She walks over to me. “Hello, darling.”

“Rarity?” I look over at her, “What are you doing here?”

“Whatever do you mean?” she sits down across from me.

“I…I just didn’t expect somepony like you, to be in a place like this.”

“Well, I do admit, a body like mine isn’t achieved through eating these sugar filled snacks.” she flatters herself. Classic Rarity. “But, I do have my cheat days every once in awhile. Plus…” Joe brings her a hot cup of coffee, with whipped cream on the top, glazed with caramel. “I love the coffee here.”

“I don’t remember you asking for coffee.”

“That’s because Joe over there knows what I like.” she looks over at him, giving him a wink.

“Wait…” I look at Joe, looking brighter than ever, now that Rarity is in the shop. He’s humming a fanciful tune, as he continues making his donuts. I look back at Rarity. “Are you and Joe…”

“Guilty as charged.” she smiles, “He’s a very sweet stallion, if you excuse the sugar related pun.”

“I thought there were no stallions in Ponyville that you were interested in.”

“That was weeks ago. I’ve only met Joe through one or two circumstances, but he gathered up the courage to ask me out, and I accepted. He’s such a dear, and he looks quite dapper in a tuxedo, just as I predicted a long time ago.”

“I’m happy for you.” I grin, “Congratulations.”

“Thank you. But…” she sets the coffee down, “I’m not here for the coffee, or to talk about me. I couldn’t help but notice you walk in here an hour ago, with a very sullen look on your face. It’s very unattractive.”

“It’s weird. Nothing is what it seems anymore, is it?”

“It never usually is.”

“For a second, I thought you came in here to confess that you had a crush on me too.”

“Too? Did somepony else already beat me to the punch?” I raise an eyebrow, so does Joe. “I’m just kidding, darling.” I sigh in relief, so does Joe.

“Twilight…she…I found out that all this time…she liked me.”

“But, you like Applejack. Right?”

“How did you know that?”

“Oh, please. Your feelings for her were quite obvious. Once you put the idea in my head that you liked one of us, she was the most logical choice. You saw her every other day, spent time with her and her family, you even spent all of applebucking season helping her, even though you can’t applebuck. I may be a fashion pony, but I know love when I see it.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

“Why would it?” she takes another sip, “I made you that outfit you’re wearing right now, specifically so you can charm Applejack.”

“That’s why you were being so pushy yesterday.”

“Of course that’s why. You like her; she definitely likes you, if what I heard about last night was true.”

“Word gets around fast in this town, huh?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe. That business with you and Lyra last month, was everywhere in a matter of hours.”

“So I saw. How is Lyra, by the way?”

“Oh, she’s fine. After you two’s little stunt, she’s mellowed out. Word is that she wants to make peace with you, but is too nervous that you would hate her.”

“I don’t hate her.” I laugh, “It’s not in my nature to hate ponies. Not even the ones that tried to have sex with me.” We both laugh. “But, you’re okay with me and AJ?”

“Dear, even if you were a griffon, or a manticore, or anything not a pony, I would still be okay with it. Who am I to judge what the heart wants? Look at me; I’m a fabulous designer, dating a stallion who owns a marvelous bakery. Love just is what it is.”

I continue to stare at her, as her words resonate through my mind. Nodding, I stand up, and give her a pat on the shoulder.

“Thanks, Rarity. And Joe?” He looks at me. “You’re a lucky guy.”

“Damn straight, I am!” he proudly shouts, as I run out the door.

I run. I keep on running, all the way to Sweet Apple Acres. Once more into the fray. I was surprised to find Applejack, up and about by the barn, taking out trash from the party. Every so often, she would rub her head; that hangover hasn’t quite passed by yet.

“Applejack?” I called out to her, immediately grabbing her attention.

“Oh, hey sugarcube. How are ya?”

“I’m good. How’s the head?”

“It’s alright, I guess. What happened last night? I remember we was dancin’, but then everything else was a blur.”

“Uh…” She didn’t remember all the things she said during her drunken behavior. “You were kind of…actually very drunk. You shouted some things, and beat five ponies in drinking contests.”

“Oh my.” she looks down in embarrassment, “Ah must have made a big fool of myself. I didn’t say anything too humiliatin’ did I?”

“You mentioned how I felt about you.” I see her blush a bright red. “It was a little startling, really.”

“Sweet Celestia. I’m so sorry, Matt.”

“After you threw up everywhere, I took you to bed, where…I stayed with you till morning.”

“You did? Why don’t I remember that?” she looks at me with a grin, “Thanks Matt. You’re a real pal.”

Pal. Friend. That stung more than it did. She knew how I felt about her, but she still called me a friend. It was time to tell her, now or never, this was it.

“Applejack I need to tell you something…”

“Now that you’re here, ah could really use your help if you’re not busy.”

I sigh in disappointment. Looks like confession time would have to wait.

“Sure, AJ. What do you need?”

“There’s a few stacks of hay in the back of the barn that need movin'. I’d carry it myself, but this headache is barely subsidin’. You mind?”

“Sure, just lead the way.” I follow her inside the barn.

The place was a mess. Empty cider barrels, knocked over chairs, and a half damaged stage were all over the place. I must have missed something epic when I was tending to Applejack. As I walked inside, I hear the door close. I turn around, and Applejack was as surprised as I was.

“Darn wind, shutting doors when ya least expect it.”

“So, where’s the hay?”

“It’s in the back corner. I’ll get this door ready.”

I nod and head to the back. I tip toed around the area, hoping not to trip over a chair or a table, or an random piece of debris. Eventually, I get to the back of the barn. When I get to the corner, I do not see the stacks of hay she was talking about, just a pile.

“Hey. AJ. There’s no stacks here, I think you made a mista…”

WHAM! As I turned, Applejack charged at me, jumping up, and knocking me onto the haypile. I yelp in shock as I land on to the admittedly soft pile. When I land, Applejack climbs on top of me, breathing heavily, like a predator catching its prey. I stare into her eyes, as we meet face to face.

“What…what are you doing?” I ask. I’m an idiot.

“Something I waited too long to do.” she says softly.

She brings her head down slowly, and gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek. Then another on the side of my mouth, and then finally…my lips. She stayed there for an especially long time. She separates her lips from mine, and we stared at one another for a while. I reach my hand up, caressing her cheek lovingly.

I bring her back down, and we lock lips once again, this time with more passion. The two of us become one, holding each other like our lives depended on it, rolling in the hay, standing up, and slamming each other into walls, as we become more primal in our wants and desires. Finally, we fall back down onto the ground, as my hand began to make its way down to her more…intimate areas. She stops me, pushing a hoof onto my chest, lifting herself up.

“Down boy.” she teases, continuing to breathe heavily. I do the same.

“Oh…” I breathe for a few more seconds, “Oh wow.” I watch as Applejack rests her head on my chest.

“So…what was it…you wanted to talk to me about?”

It took me a minute to figure out why I was there in the first place.

“Right.” I remembered. “I was wondering if…you would like to be…my marefriend.” She looks up at me, her eyes widened in surprise. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

She doesn’t respond with word, only another passionate, hungry kiss. I guess she was saying yes.

“I’d like to continue this…conversation.” she says, “But I have work to do.”

“You need any help?”

“No. I think I got it.”

“When you’re done, come by the house tonight. Twilight and Spike are out of town. It’ll just be me.”

“No it won’t.” she leans down to my ear, “I’ll be there too.” she whispers.

She gets off of me, and continues her work. Not wanting to disturb her, I walk out of the barn, and head back home.

I spent the good part of the afternoon cleaning the place up. Big Mac was nice enough to put all the dishes in the sink for me to wash, so I was grateful he didn’t leave too much of a mess behind. I looked around for Owlicious and Peewee, but they’re nowhere to be found. Spike must have taken them before he left.

I cooked up a nice dinner, and waited. And waited…and waited. The nine o’clock hour hit, and I couldn’t wait much longer, and ate my food. I still stayed up. I picked up another Daring Do novel, and began reading. As the eleven o’clock hour hit…

There was a knock at the door.

I quickly shut the book, and ran for the door. Opening it up, I see Applejack standing on the other side, with a smirk.

“Hi.” she says softly, “Sorry I’m late.”

“No.” I reply, “You’re just fine.” She walks past me, and steps onto the couch, waiting for me. “Would you like a drink?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for alcohol.” she giggled.

“I meant a glass of water.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you.”

I pour her a glass of water into a mug, and handed it to her. She gladly takes it, and chugs it down quickly. She sits there, unsatisfied by the beverage.

“You know, I think I would like some wine.” she says.

I pick up a bottle of dandelion wine, and sit down next to her, with my own glass. I pour hers, and then mine. We both proceed to drink our glasses, staring at each other, both incredibly nervous about the night that is to come. We finish our drinks at the same time, and put them down on the table before us.

“So, why is Twilight out of town?”

“She wanted to visit the Princesses. And…partially because of me.”

“What? Why?”

“When I came back here, I found out that she…had feelings for me.” I intentionally leave out the part about Big Mac. Applejack gasped. “She kissed me, but I pushed her away, saying that I had feeling for somepony else…you.”

“I can’t believe it. She hid it so well, whenever we would talk.” She looks at me. “You never told me why.” Before I could speak, she continues. “Why me? Why not somepony like her, or Rarity…or even Rainbow Dash?”

“I admit, they have their special talents. But there was one problem.”

“What?”

“They weren’t you.”

Applejack looks away from me. I move in a bit closer to her, when I hear her sniffling. I put an arm around her for comfort.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“You’re so nice to me. But…I don’t deserve somepony like you.” a tear runs down her cheek, “Look at me, I can’t fly, or teleport, all I can do is kick apples off a tree, and that’s something mah brother can do better! I’m not special…but you treat me like I am.”

“You’re wrong AJ. You are special. You’re kind, headstrong, and honest. Somepony who helps others out, and asks for nothing in return. You are…in every way…special.”

She looks back at me, and sees how close I am too her. She inches forward.

“Matt…” she whispers, and our lips meet once again. She puts her forelegs around me, and pushes towards me, as our kiss gets a little rougher. But before it goes any further, she pushes herself away.

“I-I’m sorry…” I said, “Was that too rough?”

“No…” she says quietly, “It’s just…we can’t…we can’t do this.” She sounded scared.

“What’s the matter?”

“I-It’s not like I don’t want to, because I do. But…”

“It’s because I’m human, isn’t it?” I ask. She nods.

“I-I’m not saying I don’t like you as a human, but…the others. They might not feel the same.”

“I understand, AJ. If you want to wait…until I become one of you…I can do that.”

“That would be best.” she says with disappointment.

“I..I guess I’ll get you another glass of water.” I turn away from her. Suddenly, she grabs my arm.

“Wait.” she brings me back, “I want to ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

“That day, when you saved me. I heard you say something, when I was regaining consciousness. It sounded muffled, but you were yelling it at me. What did you say?”

“I said…’Applejack…I love you.’”

A pause. Her eyes teared up again, as I said those last three words. The three words that pushed her over the edge. She suddenly hoists herself onto my lap, straddling me. She gets really close to my face, breathing like she did earlier in the day.

“To hell with it.” she says, as she drives her mouth into mine. Our tongues intertwined, as we kissed with such intensity, that we nearly tipped the couch over with our roughness. My hand inches its way down to her shapely flank, when I felt something…a lace. It was almost enough to stop me, but I glanced down, and saw that she was wearing underwear. She felt the tug, and stopped.

“What’s up?”

“I didn’t know you wore underwear.”

“We all do. It blends into our coats, so it wouldn’t draw any attention.”

“So that’s what Twilight meant.” I thought. “That explains a lot.” I say to her.

“Why? Were ya lookin’?” she asks with slyness.

“Maybe.” I reply with the same tone.

In one fell swoop, I pick her up, and carry her, like a groom would carry his bride on her wedding night, and I begin my walk up the stairs.

“Where are we going?” she asks with a chuckle.

“If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this right. I’m taking you to bed.”

I bring her to my bed, and toss her on it. She giggles with delight, as I climb in, and move my way on top of her, giving her a welcoming kiss when I get there. She revels in my playfulness, as she returns my kiss with her own.

“I love you, Matt.”

I stop before moving in again for another lip lock.

“Wow.” I said, “No one has ever said that to me before.”

As I lean in for another kiss, she holds onto me, as she rolls me on my back, and her being on top. She looks at me with those seductive eyes, as she brings herself down for another session.

Well…you can probably guess what happened next. I won't divulge in the details.

We laid together in bed, she held onto me the same way she did that night of the storm, only she was fully awake, and aware of what she was doing. She grazed her cheek on my chest, relaxing against my skin, feeling it for the very first time. I stared at the ceiling, in awash in awe at the experience we both shared.

“That was…that was…”

“I know…” she said, “What do we do now?”

“We tell the others, I guess.”

“About this?”

“No…not about THIS.” I laughed, “We can tell them that we’re together. After that…who knows? Maybe after Celestia changes me, do we tell them about…this.”

“Oh…” she says with a bit of hesitation.

“Is something wrong?”

“Matt…if I ask something of you, ya promise not to get mad?”

“Why would I get mad?”

“Just promise me. It’ll make me feel better about the question.”

“Okay. I promise, I won’t be mad.”

“Do you think it’s possible that you…don’t go through with it? The transformation?”

“What?”

“Ah guess what I’m sayin’ is…I don’t want you to become one of us.”

“How come?” I ask, “Isn’t that what you wanted? Twilight said that we’re not genetically compatible. What if you…want kids?”

“I don’t want foals. I want you. I don’t care about all that science stuff.”

“Applejack…”

“Matt…listen to me. You are free to say no, and I won’t try and stop you. But, I fell in love with you because of you. I didn’t care that you were human, and not one of us. When I heard that you agreed to let Celestia change you…I was disappointed. I know that you want to fit in, to be accepted, but look at us, I accept you for who you are now, not for who you want to become. This…” she touches my face, “This is what makes you special. You’re the only human ever to set foot in our world. If you take that away…you’re just another pony to the others. Nopony will see what I see. If you decide to go with it, I will continue to love you with everythin’ I have…but it will not be the face that I fell for so long ago. You’re special, Matt…just the way you are.”

A tear runs down my cheek, as I embrace her tightly. She was right, I had originally agreed to the procedure to appear normal to them, to not stand out, to blend in with the crowd. Over time, the idea of being a human in Equestria seemed more and more like a good idea. But, I still wanted to go through with it. Should the day ever come that I would find myself head over hooves with a pony, I wouldn’t want her to see me as a freak, an abomination.

That pony became Applejack, but instead of driving me away, she loved me for who I was. I was her Prince, her Romeo, the love of her life, and that touched me more than I could possibly imagine.

The decision…became an easy one.

That’s why I’m writing this to you, Princess Celestia. To tell you that I don’t want to go through with it. I don’t want to be like everypony else. Though you are all fascinating in every way possible, I feel that it is my responsibility to remain a human for the rest of my days.

I apologize if I wasted your time, I’m sure you spent long hours trying to perfect the spell that would eventually turn me into a pony. I will make it up to you however I can, no matter the cost. If you feel that I’m doing this for love, you are absolutely right. I don’t know if what I’m doing will ultimately be the right decision, and frankly, I probably never will know. But, what I know now, is that it feels right, and that this is something I must do.

Now I stand outside your door, waiting for your response. I will accept whatever punishment, if any, you will bestow upon me. If you decide to turn me against my will, I will not stop you. Sure, I may be just a little peeved that I wrote all these pages, just so you can say no and turn me anyway, but if that’s what you want, then go ahead.

If you decide to let me leave this castle, with all my appendages intact, I will be forever grateful to you, and will do what I can to make sure you did not make a mistake.

The choice is yours.

Sincerely,

Matthew Williams

PS. Sorry about all the references to things you probably don’t have in your world. I got caught up in the moment while writing.

PPS. Please don’t tell anypony about the bit with me and Chrysalis.

PPPS. About that Chrysalis thing, rip out the 1357 words about what we did that night, just incase anypony other than you reads this. I don’t know why I wrote that, and why it was so detailed.

Decisions

Matt waited quietly in the halls of Canterlot Castle, waiting for Princess Celestia to be done reading his over 100 page letter; telling her the events of how he came to the decision not to become a pony, in staggering detail. He felt bad about writing such a long letter, as he had been waiting outside for more than a few hours at the very least. However, he did feel that she had to know the whole truth, rather than sending her a letter saying “No”, and being done with it.

This was his second visit to Canterlot, and his first inside the royal palace. The first time he arrived, was when he was Rarity’s date for the fashion gala. Being at night, and blinded by the flashbulbs of the many reporter ponies at the event, he wasn’t able to fully appreciate the beauty and utter perfection the city, and the castle displayed. Being there for a few hours, he did have time to have a quick look around, but only out the windows, as he did not know just how fast of a reader this Princess was.

He did want to take the time to find out the whereabouts of Twilight, as he, nor anypony else, had not heard a single word from her, ever since that fateful morning a couple weeks ago; when she revealed that she harbored a deep seeded crush on him during the time he spent living with her. Before he left, he promised his friends that he would find a way to bring her back to them, or at the very least, confirm that she is well. That would have to wait, as he continued to stand the halls until the sun began to fall.

Walking into his sight is a pony he had never seen before. A dark blue alicorn, with a flowing celestial mane, and a cutie mark in the form of a crescent moon. She walks through the hall with such authority, that this must be the Princess of the Night. This must be Princess Luna. She looks at him with a cocked eyebrow, and walks towards him.

“You there! Halt!” she commands.

“I didn’t realize I was moving.” he jests. He had been standing perfectly still since she showed up.

“You dare mock your Princess?" she glares, offended, "Bow.”

“Whoops. Sorry about that.” he bows before her, then stands up, “Got a little caught up, there.”

“You must be the human named Matt.”

“And you must be the alicorn named Princess Luna. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise. Twilight Sparkle has spoken much about you. I expected you to be a little taller, from the way she described you.”

“Twilight’s here? Where is she?”

“She’s in her quarters. Reading with Spike.” She looks behind her to see if there are any guards around. There are none. “Forgive me.” Suddenly, she leans in close to his face, almost uncomfortably so. In Matt’s experience with this kind of thing, it only leads to misfortune and molestation. He predictably backs away from her.

“Woah there!” he says, “Sorry, but I’m taken.”

“You mistake my behavior for affection. I was merely curious as to what exactly the big deal was about you. So far, I see none, and do not know why Ms. Sparkle found you so fascinating.”

“I guess you heard about that, huh?” Matt grimaced. Thinking back on the unpleasantness he shared that day with Twilight.

“Do not be offended, but you are not as…cute…as Ms. Sparkle said you are.”

“Looks like we have something in common. I’d hate to imagine if someone more attractive than me ended up here. Poor guy.” he chuckled. To his surprise, Luna smirked at his little joke.

He imagined if some Hollywood superstar ended up in Ponyville, and laughed on the inside at the image of him being dogpiled by the Ponies of Equestria. While he can admit that his time in the world has made him more fit, and somewhat more desirable to the human female, should he ever return to his homeworld, he also did not grow anything close to an ego about it. Even if there was anyone else interested in him, his heart already belonged to another, and it’s because of her, that he has completely dispelled any thoughts of returning home.

“Yes, well…it was Twilight who wanted to undergo the prolonged lack of contact with you. It appears that she is still…how did she put it? Not over you, I believe is what she said.”

“I see. The next time you see her, can you relay a message for me?”

“Of course.”

“Can you tell her that I miss her? That we all miss her? Especially Big Macintosh.”

“I’ll make sure to tell her, the next time I see her.”

“Thank you Princess.”

The door behind them opens, and out emerges Celestia, finally done with Matt’s epic of a letter to him. She gives a slight bow to her sister, who returns the gesture. Celestia then turns her attention to Matt, who gives her an anxious look about her reaction to the content that he wrote. Celestia takes a quick glance out the window, surprised that night is beginning to come about.

“Oh my. Is it almost night already? Dear Sister.” she says to Luna, “It is time to raise up the moon. As for you, Matt." she looks back at him, "I would like to have a little chat with you...alone.”

Luna nods, and gives Matt a smirk, before walking away to do her royal duties. Matt looks back at Celestia in nervousness. The Princess gestures to him to come inside her study, and he obliges.

Much like the other rooms in Canterlot, Celestia’s study was no exception to absolute royalty. Charts of stars and magic adorn the area, along with books and books of stories and spell books. He marveled at the architecture of the place, before thinking about what really mattered when coming here.

“Your sister is very formal.” Matt admits.

“Yes. She’s been on the moon for a thousand years. Even after all the time since her return, she is still learning the customs of the new Equestria.”

“What?!” Matt is surprised by the story, “How old is she exactly?”

“Two thousand one hundred and twenty two years old.”

“So…how old are you, then?”

“Two thousand one hundred and thirty three.”

“Wow. You two look good for your age.”

“Thank you.” Celestia chuckles from the flattery, “I must say, I expected your arrival eventually, but not with you bearing such a…letter. If I can call it that. It reads more like a novel. I was wondering what the point of all of it was, until I got to the end.”

“I know. I’m sorry about that. I just wanted to give you some context to my decision.”

“I appreciate that, but you could have just told me yourself.”

“I’m not sure you would want to sit in a room with me talking for hours on end about my problems.”

“Matt, I just told you that I am over two thousand years old. I have seen many plays, some entertaining, some extremely boring. I’m pretty sure that I could manage a one man show about his life in this world.”

“Then it would depend on what category you would put that show in. You don’t know if my delivery would be boring or entertaining.”

“You have a point.” she smirks, “Nevertheless, I am grateful for your patience, waiting outside. How long did it take you to write this by the way?”

“A couple weeks. Not very long.”

“Letters are normally written in a few minutes. That’s pretty long.”

“I had a lot to write about.”

“Fair enough.”

“How far were you on the progress of the spell?”

“I was getting close. Even tested it on a few animals. The results were…decidedly mixed.”

“No one died during these tests, did they?”

“No, of course not. There was one slight success. Unfortunately, he was far more muscular than we anticipated, and he can only shout one word with great enthusiasm.” Celesta looks out the window. “Oh, there he is now.”

Matt looks out the window to see an abnormally large pony in the middle of the Canterlot Garden, yelling at any passersby unfortunate enough to get in his way.

“YEAHH!” Was all the he shouted, scaring away any ponies in his general direction. Them running away didn’t help, as he would chase after them, continuing to scream “YEAHHH!”

“That’s frightening.” Matt remarked at the sight.

“Don’t worry. He’s completely harmless.” Celestia assured, “He normally tires himself out after a while.” she looks back out the window, “See? There he goes…”

Matt sees the raging pony on the grass. A halfhearted “Yeahhhhh…..” was all he could say, before falling fast to sleep, snoring loudly.

“Besides, I don’t recall saying that I wasn’t going to do the spell anyway. As you so put in the letter, I do have the power to turn you against your will.”

“That you do. The question is if you’re going to.”

“To be honest, I’m still trying to decide.”

Celestia walks to the middle of the room, sitting down by a large table. She gestures Matt to come over, pointing at the chair across from her. Matt takes a moment to pause, wondering the outcome of the conversation to come. He gulps, as he hesitantly goes to sit down. He looks at Celestia, who has a very serious look on her face, which would be very intimidating to her enemies. She stares at him, thinking about what she is going to say next. The moment is long as it is uncomfortable for the poor human. Will she let him continue to stay human, or will she turn him into a pony.

One particular thought came, that scared him more than just becoming one of them; it’s becoming like that shouting pony down below in the gardens.

“I am impressed by your bravery for willing to stay in your human form. From what I have read, your species is a rather frail bunch. Prone to injury much more than we are, and your healing not as fast as us. You’re sacrificing your chance to become normal in the eyes of the Equestrian people, for the love of somepony different from your species, and I find that admirable, I really do.”

“Thanks…but I’m sensing a ‘but’ in there, somewhere.” Matt tells her. She smirks at his smart-ass response.

“But…I cannot help but wonder if you understand the sacrifices Applejack is making to stay with you.”

“What do you mean?”

“She doesn’t want you to change, even if it makes the possibility of having a child with her unobtainable. That she could be seen as an outsider in the eyes of the other ponies of the world, even amongst her own family. Your letter seemed to brush off that fact in a manner which concerned me, making me question not only your decision, but hers as well.”

“We both are aware the risks that we are taking with this. We talked with her family, and they have given their blessing to allow the relationship to continue. Our friends, aside from Twilight, have been more than supportive of us, and are willing to stand by us however they can. As for children…I understand your concern. As I was writing the letter, we have had talks about that very issue. I have told her time and again that I was willing to become one of them, so that she would be able to have a child, but she refused. What we are considering, when the time comes, is adoption.”

“And what will the foal think? Having a father who is not one of their own? What will the other foals think?"

Matt thinks about the question for what feels like a century. He saw her point. What if the foal was disliked, even made fun of, for having a human father? He would love the child as if it was one of his own, but would the foal feel the same for him?

“I don’t know the answer to that question, Princess. I suppose, I’ll let you know when we get to that day.”

Princess Celestia smiled at his answer. He did not lie, tell her that everything was going to be fine, acting like he could predict the future. He was honest with her, as he simply did not know what events will hold for him and Applejack. He understood what was happening, and he was scared about the prospects of such a relationship damaging the reputation of one of the most likable ponies in Equestria. But, Celestia could see the love in his eyes, the love of someone who is willing to do anything and everything to stay with the one he cares most for.

She stands from her chair, and walks over to the still incredibly nervous Matt. She places a hoof on his shoulder. He looks up into her kind eyes, as she gives him a gentle smile, letting him know that everything is alright.

“I will not turn you…today. The offer will remain open for as long as you are here.”

“Thank you, Princess. You won’t regret this, I swear.”

“I’m sure I won’t.” she says happily, “You may go back to Ponyville, and live your life as you see fit. I am certain we will meet again in the future.” She watches Matt get up from the chair, bowing to her, and walking to the door. “One more thing…” Matt turns back to her. “Queen Chrysalis…really?”

“Yeah…” Matt scratches his head in embarrassment, “You won’t tell anypony about that, will you?”

“No. I will follow your request and…delete the offending pages. I’m very curious as to what you’re thinking when it happened. That particular chapter was very vague.”

“I don’t know. She seemed very charming for an evil queen.”

“Yes…she has her ways…” Celestia began to trail off.

“What?”

“Nothing. Goodnight, Matt. I wish you all the best.”

Matt waves as he leaves the room, leaving her to her own devices. She rifles through the pages of Matt’s letter, and finds what she was looking for; the chapter of Chrysalis’ seduction. She finds the pages detailing their time together, looking through the words carefully, and reeling back at re-reading some of the more…intimate details. She shakes her head in amusement, using her magic to burn the pages till not even ash remained.

“Oh Chrysalis. You’ll never change.” she thinks about what she said, “Huh…that’s ironic.”

Matt arrives at the train station, in time for the last train to begin boarding.

“All aboard! Final train to Ponyville leaves in five minutes!” he shouted, as dozens of ponies gathered onto the train.

Matt was all ready to go, prepared to step onto that train, and back to the town where his friends and Applejack would be waiting for him. However, before he could board, he sensed something behind him. More specifically…somepony. That lavender scent that is all too familiar to him, since the day he first met her.

With a smirk, he turned around to see Twilight Sparkle standing before him.

“I was wondering when I would see you again. I’m getting tired of trying to not burn the house down.”

“I got your message.” she raises a small smile, “Does everypony really miss me?”

“We all do, Twilight.” he watches her look down at the floor, her thoughts coming back to her. “You said you were only going to be gone for a few days. We didn’t get a single letter from you. None of us knew how you were doing. We were worried about you…I was worried about you.”

“You were worried about me?”

“I’m not allowed to be worried about my friends?” he walks to her, but she takes a couple steps back. “Twilight…”

“I’m sorry. It was a mistake to come here. I have to go.” she turns to leave.

“Twilight…don’t go. Come back with me.”

“Why?” she faces him once again, “So I can live with you again? We both know how that worked out, didn’t we? You were in my house for months! You should have seen this coming!”

“So, it’s my fault that you felt this way? How was I supposed to know, Twi? I’m not a mind reader.”

“Well…you should have been!” she pauses, realizing how silly that sounded, and blushing in embarrassment. Her eyes begin to tear up. “I thought having time away from you would help, but it keeps getting worse!”

“What do you expect me to do? If you’re implying that I should leave Applejack, you have another thing coming! Why can’t we just be friends, and be done with it?”

“You have no idea how much I want to do that. To take this all away, and go back to the way things were.”

“Then what? What do you want me to do, to get you to come back? To make you just forget everything, and go back to what we had before. We all miss you. We all want you back. Hell, even Big Macintosh misses you something fierce! Just tell me what you want! I’ll do anything!”

“Kiss me.”

The world stops turning. Matt stands there at a crossroads, unsure of what his next move it going to be. He simply looks at her in bewilderment, taken aback at such a request.

“Final boarding in 2 minutes!” The Conductor yells out.

“Do it, Matt. Finish it. Finish the kiss you stopped back at the house. Do it, and I will come back to Ponyville with you. I will never bring this up again. I will not pursue you, I will not try to drive you away from AJ. I promise you, that I will move on, and find a stallion whom I will love deeply, and honestly.”

“I can’t.” he says, "I'm with AJ now, Twi. I don't want to do anything to screw that up."

“You won't! Please Matt. I want to know what it’s like. I want to know what she has. I want to sample it. You can even pretend that I am her. This will just between us. Nopony else will hear about it, and we will not speak about it til the end of time. Do it. Do it for me. If you don't, you and nopony else will see me again for a very long time.”

“Last call! One minute!” The Conductor yells out for the last time.

Many thoughts race through Matt’s mind. He doesn’t want to do this, but everypony wants him to return with Twilight in tow. They do miss her dearly, and would want nothing more than to see her again. However, the price to almost too high to bring her back.

Almost.

He has made a decision.

With less than a minute to go, he grabs Twilight, and gives her his best kiss. The kiss he gave Applejack the night they made love for the first time. He thinks about that unforgettable night he shared with his true beloved, as he performs this unspeakable act. Twilight revels in it, practically living on cloud nine, as Matt dances with her tongue.

The two separate, eyes closed at one another, taking in what has just happened.

Suddenly…blink. A small speckle of magic shines through Twilight’s eyes. Matt opens his eyes and looks at her, as her mood changes before him. That look of desperation on her face soon becomes a look of…content.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“I feel…” she is awash in positive emotions. Gone are the wants and desires that have plagued her mind for the past couple of weeks. “I feel good…great even.”

The train whistle blows. It’s beginning to leave the station.

“Come on! The others are waiting for us!” Twilight yells, galloping onto the train.

Matt shakes off the feeling that something strange has happened inside Twilight, and hops aboard the train, mere seconds before it leaves the station. The two stand side by side on the train, watching Canterlot get further and further away from them.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. Never better.” Twilight assures him with a gentle smile, “Can’t wait to get home. I’m sure AJ is looking forward to see you again.”

There’s an alarming sincerity in her voice. She is genuinely happy for him, and he continues to look at her like she had become a different pony than she was not a minute ago. Was this an elaborate act? Or was that kiss all she needed to forget about ever having romantic feelings for him in the first place?

They would go on to never bring it up again to anypony. Twilight was greeted by her friends with all the warm welcomes she deserved. The worries in Matt’s mind were all but erased, when he saw Applejack again, greeting him with a soft romantic kiss, that made him forget about everything that had transpired beforehand.

All it was going to be, was just another strange chapter in Matt’s life in Equestria.

Princess Celestia stood in her chambers, staring at the bright moon with great worry. Something is on her mind…something not good.

The door opens behind her, and Princess Luna walks inside, wearing a dark cloak around her body. Celestia turns to face her sister.

“Is it done?” Celestia asked.

“The spell was a success, dear sister.” Luna confirms, “Twilight will remember about her feelings for the human, but any future romantic thoughts have been completely cleared from her mind. She will only see him as a friend, nothing more.”

“Good.” Celestia smiled, nodding her head, “We must not have any complications in the weeks to come. Everypony must be focused and prepared, with no distractions.”

“What about the human? I thought you were going to change him. That was the plan, wasn’t it?”

“It was. However, he convinced me otherwise. He may be of better use to everypony as a human, rather than one of us. I am surprised, though. His love for Applejack was stronger than I had anticipated.”

“You had the power to change him all along, didn’t you?”

“Of course I did. I was merely curious to see how a human in Equestria would adapt to the conditions of our world. He exceeded my expectations.”

“If I may ask, dear sister. What exactly is happening out there?”

Celestia is silent, as she looks out into the horizon. A great presence envelops her senses, a being long thought gone from this world…an evil that was destroyed many years ago had returned to the world. One of diabolical intentions, looking to cloud Equestria in a veil of shadows…a veil of fear…a veil of…somber.

“It may not be for a while, but I feel that a storm is coming, Sister. When it comes, I can only pray that we are ready for it.” Celestia looks down to the gardens below.

To her dismay, that screaming pony is still there, rolling around on the beautiful bed of flowers. He wasn’t really a test subject. He has been a citizen of Ponyville since he was just a foal. Nevertheless, Celestia is not amused by the sight of him rolling around like a dog, on such lovely flowers.

“By the way, can you tell the guards to get Bulk Biceps off the lawn? He’s kind of messing with the decor of the flower bed.”

Matt Fixes A House (With Help)

It’s a pleasant day in Ponyville. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and Matt is sitting on the roof a house, hammering at the top. It’s a curious sight indeed for the citizens of Ponyville, as they have seen him working tirelessly on this project of his for the past couple of months. Two particular ponies, Roseluck and Blossomforth, have passed by him on their routes to work, but only now have they begun to take an interest in his activities.

“This cannot be ignored any longer.” Blossomforth said, “Just what in the hay is he doing up there?”

“Looks to me like he’s repairing that house.” said Roseluck, rolling her eyes at her friend’s lateness to the party.

“I know that.” she glares, “But I thought he was living with Ms. Sparkle.”

“Well, obviously he wants to move out.”

“Isn’t that Derpy’s old place?”

“Didn’t you hear? Got herself a Stallion. Forgot his name, though, but he seemed nice. She's shacked up with him, and left this mess of a house. He bought this place a couple months ago; been working on it ever since.”

“All by himself?”

“Sure looks that way…”

Matt suddenly yelps in pain, grabbing his hand, and sucking on his thumb. He has unfortunately made contact with the hammer.

“Dammit!” he shouts, shaking his hand around to get rid of the pain.

Roseluck and Blossomforth look at each other with worry.

“Do you think he needs help?”

“I don’t know. He seems to be okay…”

“SHIT!” he cries out. The two ponies look over and see him slip off into a hole in the roof, smashing into the floor below, leading to the basement. The two wince at his fall, and subsequent smashing. Dirt billows out of the door, making its way into the two ponies' lungs, causing them to cough up a heck of a storm.

“It won’t hurt *cough* to ask though.” Roseluck nervously smiled.

Matt emerged from the front door, covered in dust and debris. He shakes his head around, foregoing any dirt in his frazzled hair. With a couple stretches, and bone pops, he seemed right as rain. As much as he could be, all things considered.

“Note to self…try not to fall again.” he said to himself.

“Excuse me?” Roseluck approached, snapping him out of his moment, “Are you alright?”

“Huh?” he pulls a small segment of debris from his ear. “Hey, Roseluck. How’s it going?” he smiles.

Matt had known her for a while now. Ever since making the decision to stay human, he made it a mission to get to know everypony in town. Roseluck was one of the first, when he came by to visit her in her flower shop one sunny morning. He asked what kind of flowers Applejack would like, and she recommended a bouquet of Gerber Daisies. Matt bought them without question, and presented them to her on their one month anniversary of being together. Applejack loved the flowers, so Matt always went to Roseluck, when it came time for gifts.

“I could ask you the same thing, Mr. Williams.” she points out all the dirt on his clothes.

“Oh this? It’s nothing. Just a…minor…work related…accident. So...” he changes the subject quickly, “Are you doing good? You too, Blossomforth? Everything alright?” His tone was slightly out of breath, trying to brush off the incident like it was a minor scuffle.

Roseluck and Blossomforth understandably looked at one another with concern.

“We’re fi-Do you need some help?” Blossomforth blurts out, unable to delay the inevitable question.

“Huh? I uh…” he looks back at the house. Staring at it for a good long while. The wheels in his head turning like a hamster in its ball. He turns back to the two ponies, anticipating the response. He glances down at the ground a few feet behind them. “Can you get me that hammer behind you?”

Roseluck looks at the open toolbox, spotting a big hammer sticking out of it. Not being a unicorn, she picks it up with her mouth, and gives it to Matt. He nods in thanks, and goes back towards the house, holding his back in pain.

“Anything else?” Roseluck inquires.

“No, thank you. By the way, I’m going to pay you a visit in a week or so.”

“What for?”

“It’s a surprise. If you see Applejack, don’t tell her anything. Thanks for the hammer.”

“You’re welcome.” she watches Matt disappear back into the house. After waiting a few more seconds, the two see him back on the roof, hammering away. A couple glances at one another later, and Roseluck and Blossomforth go on with their day. “I wouldn’t even know what to tell her.” she whispers, as they walk off.

Matt worked endlessly on that roof for a couple days, making sure there was no hole left unfilled, so there would be no more falling accidents. He acquired all the tools and materials through Big Macintosh, after telling him what he wanted to do. The red stallion was more than happy to hear of his friend’s intentions, and wanted to help in any way he can. The only thing Matt insisted on, was that he would do the work on his own, unless he absolutely needed the help.

That day was approaching more than he had anticipated.

The Great and Powerful Trixie, a blue pony with white hair, and the cutie mark of a wand, trotted along the road, dragging her traveling stage show, which also doubled as her dressing room and home, along with her. It’s been awhile since she passed by Ponyville, as her visits have led to less than favorable results. She had no desire to go into town, but had no other other choice but to walk on by.

One thing did catch her attention, the human looking intently at a newly built window. She recognized this human all too well. She only greatly injured him a few months ago.

“You…troll!” Trixie shouted, catching his attention. The moment Matt looked at her, he groaned in annoyance. There is clearly some history between the two. Painful history. Not the romantic kind of painful, but literally painful history.

“For the last time, Trixie. I’m not a troll…I’m a human. I thought you’d have figured that out by now.”

“Silence, troll! The Great and Powerful Trixie demands an answer as to why you are staring at the window of this garish house.”

“This ‘Garish House’ as you so call it, is where I intend to live.”

“It looks abominable!”

“It’s a fixer upper, I admit it. It’s not like I’m going to leave it like this. What are you doing here anyway?”

“Trixie is just passing through; she doesn’t plan on staying here long. Why are you staring so intently at that window?”

“I was…actually…” an idea clicks, “Now that you’re here…” He looks back at the window. “I could use a second opinion.”

“You need The Great and Powerful Trixie’s help with something?” she scoffs, “After what you did?”

“After what I did? You threw me into a tree!”

“You made fun of Trixie's hat!”

Matt flashed back to the day where he first encountered The Great and Powerful Trixie. She was performing a magic show in front of a crowd of easily excitable ponies in the town of Appaloosa, when he went to cheer on Applejack at the annual rodeo. He was called onto stage by Trixie, who repeatedly mistook him as a troll, despite his insistence that he was a human. She let loose with some impressive magic, proclaiming that her powers have doubled over the past year. While he was impressed by the magic on display, he had one thing to say.

“That’s a funny hat.”

He was instantly flung into a tree.

Matt rubbed his back as he remembered the past.

“It took Fluttershy five massages to fix that up.”

“Is Trixie supposed to know this Fluttershoo?”

“It’s Flutt…” he sighs, finding it pointless to correct her, “Look, can I just ask your opinion on something, then you can go?”

Trixie rolls her eyes. “Fine. But only because it will amuse Trixie. What is it?”

“How does this window look to you?”

She looks at the window, then back at Matt. She chuckles.

“It’s a well-made frame. But, you put it on wrong. It’s not level.”

“It isn’t?”

Using her magic, Trixie opens her mobile cottage, pulling out a spirit level from the back. She floats it over to the window sill, and sits it on top. Sure enough, the tool confirms that it isn’t level.

“See? Can Trixie leave now?”

“You keep that thing on you all the time?”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie’s home has a habit of being destroyed, Trixie needs it for rebuilding purposes.”

“You think I can borrow that for a bit? I’ll give it back when I’m done.” She glares at him, refusing to give him the tool. “Are you expecting your house to be destroyed any time soon?” She continues to glare at him. He shrugs. “Your hat is awesome, and not funny looking in the slightest.” She gives him the spirit level. “Thank you. You’re not as mean as the other ponies say you are, you know.”

“You break that thing, and Trixie will throw you into ten trees!” She growls with an attempt at intimidation. With a huff, and a flip of her hair, she trots off, leaving a grinning Matt behind to continue working.

By the end of the second day, she returned for her spirit level, and he gave it back with no complications. As thanks for making sure not to break it, Trixie gave him a light tap on the head with a branch. At least it wasn’t a whole tree.

Of the two individuals of the infamous Pony on Human tabloid article, Lyra Heartstrings suffered most from the fallout. She had been touting the existence of humans for years, much to the annoyance of her friends, especially her roommate Bon Bon. She would defiantly shout that they will all be sorry when one would eventually be discovered. When Matt finally arrived, she got excited, but also a little too excited. Her spontaneous make out session with the human, made her known to most of the community as a “Human Fiddler”, which caused her to be made fun of for her actions. Nowadays, things have gone relatively back to normal, especially since that it had been determined by Princess Celestia that Matt’s relationship with Applejack is not illegal, considering Hippogriffs, a byproduct of inter-species relationships, exist in the world.

Even so, that little bit of tarnished history put a bit of a gloom on the poor unicorn, making her less cheery and bouncy as she once was. She always wanted to seek out Matt, apologize for what she did, and may start anew as friends, but she was certain that he wouldn’t want to talk to her, or even look at her.

“GAH! DAMMIT!” She hears a familiar voice shout out, during her walk outside Ponyville.

Lyra galloped over to the source of the noise, encountering a half-finished house not too far away from the town. She recognized it as Derpy’s old place, but it seems like somepony had purchased it, and is now renovating it. On closer inspection, it’s actually someBODY that is renovating it. Matt was in the middle of painting the top wall of the house, when the ladder, a rickety old thing, broke, causing him to fall, and paint splattering on his pants. Being a red color, now his pants look like he has murdered someone.

“Matt! Are you okay?” Lyra calls to him, against her better judgment.

Matt gets up from his little situation, and looks to see Lyra. He is surprised to see her, but not unwelcoming either.

“Lyra?” he says, “Is that you?”

The Unicorn walks over to him, cautiously, still anticipating his reaction to be unpleasant.

“Hey…” she quietly says, “Long time, no see.”

“I’ll say.” he smirks, “It’s good to see you.”

“Really? Since when?”

“Word on the street said that you wanted to talk to me. Though that was a couple months ago, so I thought you changed your mind.”

“No, I did. I just wasn’t sure how you would feel about it.”

“Did you think that I didn’t want to talk to you?”

“Well, I did jump you…and straddled you…and made out with you…I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.”

“To be fair, if Twilight and Spike didn’t show up, I probably would've have allowed you to do a lot more than that.” Matt chuckled.

He was too right. When Lyra was busy shoving her tongue down his throat, he began to enjoy the sensation, never experiencing anything quite like that during his time in his own world. If they weren’t interrupted, they probably would have done the deed right then and there.

“I suppose you have a point.” Lyra giggled, “So, how are you and Applejack? I hear that you two are together, now.”

“Couldn’t be better.” Matt smile, “Been together for a few months now. Probably the happiest I’ve been.” He pauses, looking at Lyra with concern. “Oh, you’re not here to tell me that you’ve had a crush on me for a while now, and I just ruined your chance of telling me, are you?”

“No, I…what? That’s oddly specific.” she chortles, “Have some experience with that, do you?”

“You could say that....” Matt says, “But that’s a whole nother story all together.”

The business he had with Twilight is all in the past now. Keeping to her word, she had no told anypony about what he had to do to bring her back into the hooves of all her friends. In fact, when he would hint at the tension between each other, more often than not in a joking manner, she would assure him that everything she felt is all gone, much to his absolute relief.

Nowadays, she began dating Big Macintosh, and they have been going steady for the past few weeks.

“I’m actually here, because I heard you scream, while I was walking down the road. You got red on you.” She points out the massive amount of red paint on his pants. He sighs in annoyance.

“Right. I was painting the side of the house, when the ladder broke. Good thing I brought a few extra buckets.”

“You know…” Lyra looks closer at the house, “It kind of looks like a barn. Even more so, since you’re painting it red.”

Matt looks. Sure enough, it certainly does.

“You’re right.” he smiles, “I guess my time with the Apples left its mark on me, huh?”

“Do you…” Lyra thinks, “Would you like some help painting? Since the ladder is broken, I can use my magic to paint the tops.”

Matt walks to the toolbox to find an extra paintbrush, to his surprise, one is there. He hands the brush over to Lyra, letting her help him paint the sides of the house. She is happy at this new development. To Matt, he never saw Lyra as an unlikable pony, far from it. Sure, she was a little…grabby on their first meeting, but he didn’t completely hold it against her. She ended up being a fantastic help on the house. Painting as much as she could, before she was tired from using so much of the levitation spell. When evening fell, it was time to call it a day. The two looked at their hard work with pride.

“Sorry that I couldn’t help paint the rest of it.”

“I understand. Unicorn magic looks really tough.”

“It certainly is.” she smirks.

“You got red on you, by the way.” Matt points at the red spots on her coat. She laughs it off.

“Hey, Matt. I was wondering…you want to be friends?”

“I don’t know. Think you’ll be able to keep your hooves to yourself?”

“Believe me; I’m not going down that road again. Especially not with Applejack as your marefriend. She can kick me into the stratosphere.”

“No doubt about that.” They laugh at the thought. “Yes…we can be friends, Lyra.”

She floats the paintbrush over to him, which he takes. The two wish each other a goodnight, before parting ways. The beginning of a friendship.

As the week went on, more and more ponies came by, as Matt would find himself in situations that would grab their undivided attentions, asking him what he was up to, him explaining himself, and the pony asking if he needed any help. Very rarely did Matt say no to their generosity. Though he once said that he wanted to do the work by himself, he couldn’t help but end up needing the extra assistance. Repairing a house all by himself was much harder than he initially thought, and he was grateful for the help that he was receiving.

Twilight would come by to help him paint the rest of the house, Rarity would come by to repair the tears in his clothes that he sustained during mishaps, Rainbow Dash would come by to help put things on the roof, while Fluttershy would supply him with her world famous massages to straighten out his back. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders came by to clean the house alongside him. They would run into vicious mice, and big black widows, making them run out of the house screaming bloody murder. Yes…even Matt. Eventually, they would go back in and get rid of the vermin, and congratulate one another afterwards.

Pinkie Pie came by to give him cupcakes…lots and lots of cupcakes. The sugar she would pack in those things gave him a massive rush, to the point where he worked on the house all night one time.

Then, he crashed hard the next day, and slept in the middle of the floor.

The only pony who never came by was Applejack, and that was under specific orders from Matt to everypony. It wasn’t all work and no play for him; he would come by and visit Applejack at the farm. Though she would mention about how distant he had become during the last few weeks, he continued to tell her that it was a surprise, and that once it’s over, everything will go back to normal. Every time he came by, he was always bruised, tired and sore. Applejack knew not to ask, as she was confident he would tell her soon.

Soon, the day finally came when the house was done. It was a big improvement over the condition it was in, when Derpy left it. She didn’t leave much behind, save for her bed frame. It looked sturdy enough, with a couple extra turns of the screws to put it in tip top shape. He then bought a mattress to complete it. The one thing that was taken, that was of interest, was the oven.

“I guess she was attached to that thing.” Matt thought to himself, “Suppose I’ll have to buy a new one, then.”

The place was ready to be seen. There was only one pony who’s opinion truly mattered to him, and she hadn’t even been aware of this project from the get go.

He arrived at the doorstep of Sweet Apple Acres one late afternoon. Applejack answered the door, and she was glad to see him. Cryptically, he handed her a piece of paper, detailing the address of where to meet him.

“But…this is Derpy’s old address.” she said, “Why do ya want to meet there?”

“Trust me. It’s a surprise.” he grinned, stepping off the porch, and began his walk back. “Eight O’clock…don’t be late.” He waved.

Applejack arrived at the house that night right on time. She wondered why exactly he wanted to meet up at Derpy’s old place. The moment she laid eyes on the house however, it seemed to click for her in seconds. She knocked on the door, and Matt immediately opened the door to her wide eyed face.

“Welcome.” he said with a smile.

“Matt…did you…you live here?”

“I do now. Come in.” He lets her inside to look at all the work that had been done.

“This…this is amazin!” she marveled, “This is what ya been doin for the past couple months?”

“Yeah. I wanted to keep it a secret, until now. From the look on your face, it seemed everypony kept their word.”

“Everypony? They all knew about this except for me?!” She thinks about all the time she spent with them the past few weeks, and none giving her a remote hint as to what Matt was doing. “They really do hide it well.”

“It wasn’t easy getting the house in tip top shape. Got the bumps and bruises to prove it.”

“That’s why I keep seeing you hurt.” she understands, “This reason is definitely a lot better than my old theory.”

“Fight club?” he asks.

“Fight club.” she nods with a chuckle.

“Everypony in one way or another, started to chip in with some work. I wouldn’t have gotten this house done in time, if it wasn’t for them. I probably would have been fighting off giant rats in the basement still.”

“What?”

“It’s a long story. You can ask Applebloom about it. Follow me.” He leads her to the kitchen. Inside is a table stacked with fruit and bowls of salad. “I don’t have an oven yet, so I couldn’t make anything extravagant. But, I wanted to do something for our first meal in the house.”

Applejack didn’t care. She gladly sat down at the table, and they proceeded to eat the food off the table. Though simple, the meal was undoubtedly delicious, filling them up fast.

“That was mighty tasty.” Applejack said.

“Not quite done yet.”

“Dessert?”

“Not exactly. Wait a moment.” he stands up, and walks out from her sight. She sits tight, wondering what he’s going to bring out next. Matt soon arrives, holding a bouquet of Gerber Daisies.

“Is it our anniversary already?”

“No. I just noticed that the daisies I gave you were a bit wilted, so here are some new ones.”

“Oh, thanks. They smell nice, as usual.” she watches Matt put the daisies down on the table, as he looks down on the floor, nervous. “What’s the matter?”

“I uhh…” he stutters, “T-there’s no real easy way to ask this, so…I’m going to go ahead and ask.” He gets down on one knee. Applejack’s heart suddenly pumps extremely fast, to the point where she might just hyperventilate. Matt puts a hand on her foreleg. “Applejack…the past four months that we've officially been together, have been amazing. I count myself lucky to have a mare like you. So…I was wondering…” He reaches into his pocket…and pulls out a key. “If you would like to move in with me?”

A few thoughts went through Applejack’s mind at that moment. One of which was disappointment. She thought for sure that he was going to ask her to marry him.

“Perhaps he’s not ready to take that step yet.” she thought, “Still, the prospect of living together does sound rather nice.”

She realizes that she had been relatively quiet for more than a minute.

“Oh, I’m sorry…” she speaks, “Yes…yes of course. That would be nice.” she smiles.

“Great.” he said, “I was getting a little worried there.” He puts the key in a little slip on her hat. “Also, I got this for you.” He pulls out a golden band, with a ruby in the shape of an apple at the top of it. Applejack's eyes look like they were going to pop out of her head in that moment. “I had this made for you about a week ago.” he puts it around her right foreleg, “I hope I got your foreleg measurement right. I don’t think I’m as accurate as Rarity.”

Applejack raises her foreleg to get a closer look. She looks back and forth at the band, and at Matt, not sure if he is fully understanding what he is doing.

“Does it fit?” he asks.

“M-Matt…this…this is a wedding band…this is what you use to propose to ponies.”

“I know. I was wondering if you wanted to marry me, as well.” he says like it was nothing.

“D-Did ya just casually propose?” she cocks an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I thought this was going to be the hard part, but…I don’t know…did I mess it up? I did, didn’t I? I’m sorry…let me try again…”

He doesn’t get the chance to try again, as Applejack tackles him to the floor, delivering flurry of passionate kisses, all the while shouting “Yes! Yes! I will! Ah will so marry you!”

“Great!” he says in between kisses, “You want a small wedding, or a big one?”

“Small one…ah don’t need all of Equestria to be there!”

“And the cake? You want to make it, or Pinkie Pie?”

“We don’t need to choose! We can both do it!”

“Okay…what about…”

“Matt…we can talk about this later. I just want to kiss you!”

“Okay.” They go back to kissing. Suddenly, Applejack throws him onto her back. “Woah! What’s going on?”

“Where’s the bedroom?” she demands, looking around for directions.

“First door on the hallway to the right.”

“Good. We’re going to make sure the bed is soft enough.” she stomps along the floor with unshakable determination.

“That’s funny. I was going to ask if you wanted that job.” he laughs.

“I’m taking you to bed, human. I’m about to make you super happy!”

“I’m already super happy!”

They laugh as they go into the bedroom, and onto the bed. Another long night awaits them.

Announcements and Preparations

Announcements and Preparations

Applejack and Matt lay in bed, holding one another tightly, as the morning sun shines in their faces. Applejack wakes up first, looking at the clock like she would do when she was living back at the farm. It’s late, later than she had ever slept. No problem, though. It’s only Sunday, and she doesn’t work on Sunday, unless it cannot wait. She feels Matt’s chest move in and out, finding comfort in his peaceful breathing. The sunlight then hits his eyes, slowly waking him up. He looks down, and notices Applejack looking at him with a smile.

“Good morning.” he said, greeting her with a peck on the cheek, “How was it sleeping in your new home?”

“Best sleep I had in months.” she replied, “You?”

“The bed was reeaeally comfortable.” he said almost seductively, but in a joking manner. The two share a chuckle, and playfully push each other around. They stop.

"I think ah could get used to this." Applejack smiles, "Waking up, and you holdin' on to me, every mornin'."

"What do you mean 'could'? I'm already used it." he chuckles. Applejack responds with a small kiss on the lips.

“Now that we're engaged, what are we going to tell them?” she asks him.

“Depends. Who do we tell first? Your family, or friends?”

“Definitely family. Get the worst out of the way first.”

“I think you’re right.”

Applejack sighed in happiness; the thoughts of being married swirling through her mind.

“Applejack Williams…” she says quietly, “How does that sound to you?”

Matt grimaces, “It sounds awful. Getting married was a bad idea.” Applejack stares at him, not understanding his tone. “I’m kidding.” he laughs, “Seriously though, it sounds weird. How about I use your last name?”

“Matthew Williams Apple?” she thinks for a moment, “That sounds weird too.”

“Well, which one sounds less weird to you?”

They both think for a moment, considering both names. At the same time, they say “Matthew Williams Apple” before bursting with laughter.

“So, it’s settled then. Good thing the hard part is over.” Matt jokes, “Your family is going to be very easy by comparison!”

Applejack’s family was anything but.

The two sit at the end of the table, as the staring eyes of Applebloom, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith were piercing through their very souls. Beads of sweat drip down the couple’s faces, unsure of the reaction to come. Big Mac tapped his forehoof on the table, as an intimidation method, Applebloom pouted in judgement, while Granny Smith just STARED, with no emotion on her face. She was easily the scariest out of the three.

“So…” Granny Smith started talking, “Whatcha sayin is…you…a human…want ta marry mah Granddaughter?”

“Yyyyess…Ms. Smith.” Matt gulped in nervousness, “I love your Granddaughter very much, and I would be honored to have her as my wife.”

“Ah see…” she keeps on staring; nopony knowing what she is thinking. She glances at Big Mac, then Applebloom, who glance back at her, as if telepathically having a conversation. All three look at the couple. They stand up from their chair, and in an instant, their judgmental faces turn into wide smiles. “Welcome to the family!” Granny Smith shouts.

The three gather around the confused Matt and Applejack, giving them a great big hug, laughing, and talking about how great it is for him to be joining the family.

“Aw shoot, I always considered ya family anyway!” Big Mac states, “Ah know you’ll take good care of my lil’ sis!”

“Ah always wanted another brother!” said Applebloom. “Even if he is a tall human like you!”

As proud as Matt was by their speeches of pride, he had only one thing to say.

“Lungs….can’t breathe.” he wheezes in pain. They all let go of the couple. “Thanks.” he is grateful.

"Well, that wasn't so bad." Applejack admitted.

One group down, one more to go.

The pause was even longer than the one with the Apple family, if one can believe that. Inside Sugar Cube Corner, the five ponies stared with varied states of emotion, as Matt and Applejack continued to stand side by side, looking at the faces that are trying to comprehend the situation. The five that stand before them look at one another, seeing if they can agree on one opinion. They cannot.

“This is all kind of fast, isn’t it?” Twilight asks, “Have you two settled on a date, yet?”

“We don’t know.” Matt replied, “We were wondering what any of you thought, before we set anything in stone.” He is confused by their faces. “It’s a little hard to get a bead on what you girls are thinking; it’s freaking me out a little.”

“Applejack…” Twilight turns to her friend, “Is this what you want?”

The cowpony looks up into Matt’s loving eyes, and back at Twilight.

“More than anything.”

The mares couldn’t argue with her. They know exactly what she wanted, and she was going to stay with him no matter what. It’s not as if they weren’t happy for her, far from it; but that they thought she dove into the decision rashly.

“In that case…” Rarity stands forward, “Let me be the first to say congratulations.” she smiles.

“Yeah! Congratulations!” Rainbow Dash triumphantly says.

“Congratulations…whohoo.” Fluttershy says with practically a whisper.

Twilight remained hesitant. The eyes of everypony were on her now.

“Well…” she sighs, “I still think you two are rushing into this. But, I’m not going to deny how happy you two look. Congrats.” she grins.

In a sudden explosion of confetti, Pinkie Pie shot her randomly generated party cannon all over the room. Everyone is showered in party favors and glitter.

“This calls for a celebration, everypony!” Pinkie shouts whilst putting on a record player with bouncy music, “Let’s party!” Pinkie hops onto the dance floor, belting out her best moves like there is no tomorrow.

The rest of the gang joins her, happily dancing to the catchy beat. Everyone except Matt, who is standing there wondering where that party cannon and record player came from. He didn’t recall seeing either of them when he walked in.

Without warning, Pinkie stops the record player, rushing to Matt and Applejack.

“Oooh! Ohhh! Can I be your wedding planner?!” she shouts the question in their faces, “I’ll do a really good job!”

“Errr…are you even qualified to be a wedding planner, Pinkie?” Matt wonders.

“How hard can it be? It’ll be like planning a party, only bigger! It’s going to be so cool! Can I, Can I,
pleeeeaaaaassssssssseeeeeeeeeee?” she gives them the cutest puppy dog eyes they have ever seen. The two look away, before their hearts explode into cuteness.

“Okay fine!” Matt covers his eyes, “Just stop doing that!”

“My heart is starting to hurt!” Applejack yelled.

“Yay!” Pinkie bounces along the room at a rapid pace, ricocheting off the walls, ceiling, anything with a surface. She bounces so hard, she hits Matt in the head, sending him crashing to the ground. She stops almost instantaneously. “OOPS!”

“I’m okay…” Matt raises a hand into the air, “I think I’ll just lay down here for a little bit.”

This is nothing new anymore for the six. Matt had gained a reputation for himself over time, with other ponies calling him Mr. Bumbles, even to his face. He didn’t care much; he knew he was a clumsy dope. They laugh at his head injury, and he laughed along with them.

The next morning, Applejack and Matt made their way back to Sugar Cube Corner. Pinkie Pie ran up to them as the sun rose, yelling about how she had already drummed up a whole boatload of new awesome ideas that they were sure to love. Matt was curious, Applejack was a bit worried.

“Matt, are you sure that making Pinkie the weddin’ planner was a good idea?”

“Pinkie’s our friend, I’m sure she wouldn’t try to mess it up.”

“Ah know that, but I’m not sure if a weddin’ needs her expertise.”

“Ah…” he shrugged, “It’ll be fine.” A loud explosion of party noises and confetti fly out of the chimney of Sugar Cube Corner. Matt and Applejack looked at it with noticeable concern. “Then again, I am just a teensy bit worried.”

“You can handle it, sugarcube.” Applejack grazes her cheek against his arm, “Ah gotta get to Rarity’s to try on some dresses.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No sir, it’s bad luck for the groom to see his bride’s dress before the weddin’.”

“You ponies have that superstition here too, huh?”

“Dang right we do. I’ll catch ya later.” Applejack waves, walking out of Matt’s sight, and off to Carousel Boutique.

Matt entered Sugar Cube Corner with all the caution he could muster. The place looked seemingly normal, like the confetti that shot out of it earlier never really happened. He closed the door slowly.

“Pinkie?” he called out.

BOOM! More confetti and party favors shoot out of random places, all over Matt, as Pinkie bursts from behind the counter in celebration.

“Hello, lucky groom! Have I got a treat for you!” she reaches out, grabbing a rolling chair, and setting it down in front of Matt. He shrugs his shoulders, sitting down for what will eventually be quite a ride. She pushes him to a room that he had never seen before. A dark noiseless room, that is until Pinkie flips on the lights, showing pony mannequins dressed in southern garb, hay all over the place, and country music playing.

“This is my first set!” she exclaims, “It’s a rootin’ tootin’ southern wedding, just what Applejack would like!”

“That’s…interesting…”

He has no time to make a full critique, as Pinkie pushes him to yet another unseen room. She flips on the light switch, revealing a party more akin to Pinkie’s style. It almost looks like something for a child; with balloons, piñatas, and various other games adorning the floors and walls.

“And this is a full on party wedding! You got bobbing for apples, pin the tail on the pony, shark tank, with real live sharks! Don’t worry, I defanged them. It wasn’t easy!”

“Pinkie, this looks more like a reception, than an actual wedding...”

“Hmmm…” she rubs a hoof on her chin. “You have a point there.” she grabs the chair, racing it along the bakery. “This way!” she heads to another room. “This is…” She flips a switch. The Cake twins, Pumpkin and Pound, are fast asleep. “Oops, this is the twins’ bedroom. My mistake.” she gently closes the door, and pushes Matt to another room.

“This is something if you’re feeling all fancy pants!”

She flips the light switch. To Matt’s amazement, the room light up, revealing a classic wedding set. Pure white walls, tables, rugs, and balloons. He gets up from the chair, looking around the room. He is in awe, but…something is missing.

“What do you think?” Pinkie asks.

“It’s beautiful. But…a little…traditional?”

“Well, we have the way the old timers did weddings!” she suddenly pulls out a shotgun, cocking it with glee. Matt raises his hands.

“No! It’s not that kind of wedding!”

“Oh, right. You have to be forced into it for that. Sorry!” she tosses the shotgun elsewhere. “So…what do you think?”

Matt thinks for a moment. There are a few things consider. He knows Applejack wouldn’t want a normal wedding, she’s anything but ordinary. However, she wouldn’t want an out of control party wedding. That’s just way too much. Like a light bulb in Matt’s head, an idea lit up.

“Pinkie, can you try combining this, with the southern wedding idea?”

“Combining? Hmmm…” She thinks, “How would one go about doing that?”

“I was thinking; maybe we can redesign the barn to look like a chapel, and our outfits would be a combination of fancy, yet southern. And the band will play the wedding music, rather than a normal church organ.”

It clicks with Pinkie. Her eyes go as wide as her smile.

“I know just what to do!” she pushes Matt in the chair, and rolls him towards the door. “I’ll see you later!”

“Wh-AHHH!” Matt doesn’t get another word out, as he is push right out the door, and onto the dirt. He gets up, dusting himself off. “Not how I imagined that meeting to turn out, but…” He notices on the ground two shadows approaching him slowly. He looks up; standing before him is a male white unicorn, and a pink alicorn. They look at him, like they should know him, but do not. “Ummm…hi.” Matt waves.

“Excuse me.” the unicorn stallion says, “Are you Matt?”

“The one and only.” he grins, “Who are you?”

“My name is Shining Armor, and this is my wife Cadance.”

“Shining Armor?” The name initially doesn’t sound familiar, but it then hits him. “Shining Armor?! Twilight’s brother?!”

“Yep.” he reaches a hoof out for a shake, which Matt takes happily. “Twilight has told us much about you.”

“Likewise.” he looks at Cadance, “It’s so nice to meet you, too!” he shakes her hoof, “What are you two doing here?”

“Twilight told us that you were getting married soon, and we just had to finally meet you.”

“Where is the lucky bride?” Cadance asks, looking for Applejack.

“She’s at Carousel Boutique, getting fitted for dresses.” he points to where Rarity’s is.

“I think that’s my cue to take my leave.” Cadance announces, giving Shining Armor a peck on the cheek. “You take good care of him, dear.”

“You two sweet pea.” Shining Armor smiles. The Princess takes her leave.

“You know, there’s a pony around here named Sweet Pea.” Matt says.

“I know. We have to be careful when we call each other names.” Shining Armor chuckles, “Anyways, the other guys are waiting. It’s time for your party.”

“Party? What party?”

Meanwhile, at Carousel Boutique, Applejack is trying on various dresses, made by Rarity. She had spent a lot of time, once again pulling an all-nighter to get these selections looking as perfect as the next one. Rarity made sure that the dresses suited Applejack’s style, with all of them having some sort of southern vibe to them.

Unfortunately, Applejack has become increasingly restless and nervous with each passing design, rejecting them within seconds of looking in the mirror.

“No, no , no!” Applejack shouts, “It’s all wrong!”

“What’s the matter, Applejack?” Rarity asks. “All you’ve been saying is ‘no’, with no reason as to why you don’t like it.”

“I…I don’t know!” Applejack steps off the runway. “It just feels off, ya know?”

“I made each dress specifically for you.” Rarity watches her dear friend sit down, eyes watering. “What’s the matter?” Rarity puts a hoof on Applejack’s shoulder.

“Ah just want to look good, for the weddin’, that’s all.”

“This isn’t like you, AJ. I thought you didn’t care what others thought of what you wore. What happened to the mare that wanted galoshes on her Grand Galloping Gala dress?”

“This is different. This is mah weddin’, and I want to look perfect for him.”

“Oh darling.” Rarity chuckles, “He’s going to think you look perfect, no matter what.”

“How do you know?”

“It’s the look in his eyes, AJ. I’ve seen it every time he looks at you. It’s a little hard to explain without sounding mushy, like those dreadful romance novels that I never read.”

“Tell me.”

“It’s kind of like…the look of a stallion, in this case a man, who can and will do anything to stay with you. The look that says that he would jump through fire to get to you, to take a bullet so that you would live another day, the look that says that no matter what, he would always love you…til his last breath.” Rarity sighs, looking back on how romantic that all sounded to her.

“Wow…” Applejack exhales, and then thinks, “So, what book did you get that from?”

“The Maltese Earl's Virgin Countess…” her eyes go into shock. “Hey!” she screams; Applejack laughs.

“Ya said you didn’t read those silly things!”

“I nev…well, a mare is entitled to her guilty pleasures, every once in awhile.”

Applejack continues to chortle, before looking in the mirror again, feeling bad about what she said earlier.

“I’m sorry, Rarity.” Applejack sniffles off the laughter, “These dresses really are beautiful, but somethin’s missin’. Ah can’t put mah hoof on it.”

“Hmmm…” Rarity soon sees her point. Thinking, she looks around the room for a possible solution. She finds it. “I think I know what the problem is.” Using her magic, she floats Applejack’s hat into the air, settling it on AJ’s head. She then places the veil on it. “Well? What do you think, dear?”

Applejack looks in the mirror, and her expression says it all; she loves it. The hat perfectly complements the look. She turns to Rarity.

“Ah think I want to try the other ones again, now.”

Matt is being led back to Twilight’s house by Shining Armor. As much as he continues to ask the Captain of the Royal Equestrian Guard what is going on, he is as tight lipped as he is ever going to be, but maintaining an endless grin. As they get closer, Spike, along with Big Mac and Donut Joe, come out, with the same smiles on their faces.

“Okay guys, what’s the big deal?” Matt inquires, “This isn’t what I think it is…is it?”

“You bet your flank it is!” Donut Joe announces, “You’re the groom, so it’s time we show you how us ponies…and dragon…do a bachelor party!”

“Oh no, guys come on.” Matt starts backing up, “I-I don’t think this is a good idea.” He backs up into Shining Armor.

“Come on.” Shining Armor says, “We all have to go through this before marriage. I did it, and I turned out all right.”

“How did it turn out for you?”

“I…” Shining Armor tries to remember, but…”I don’t remember.”

“That’s what I’m worried about! We’re probably going to get super hammered, and then you guys are going to leave me on a roof or something for days! I saw it in a movie once!”

“Hey!” Spike exclaims, “That sounds like fun! Get him!”

“Oh shit!”

All of them gang up on the surprised Matt. He pushes past them, running as fast as he possibly could. Shining Armor shoots a bolt of magic, creating a wall in front of the groom to be. Predictably, because he is Matt, he SLAMS into the wall hard, falling onto the ground with a loud thud. The stallions and dragon gather around the coughing Matt, recovering from the wind being knocked out of him.

“So…where are we going?” Matt whispers in pain.

“We’re going to Las Pegasus.” Big Mac says with pride, like he’s been there before. “Yer going to have the time of yer life!”

“Oh great.” Matt sarcastically quips, “Massive sunburn, here I come.”

They lean down, lifting him onto their backs, and start walking over to the train station, all the while he screams at them, demanding that they put him down, and take him back home.

Applejack had finally made her decision on the dress. Rarity finishes placing it onto the rack, pleased by her friend’s ultimate choice.

“I’m so glad you picked that one, darling. I feel it’s my best one. Not to toot my own horn of course.”

“Aw shucks, Rarity. You can toot your own horn anytime ya…”

Pinkie suddenly bursts through the door, loudly playing a horn. The sounds is screeching, threatening to deafen the ears of AJ and Rarity.

“IT’S TIME!” Pinkie shouts, as Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Flutershy, and Cadance follow her in. “Is the bride ready?”

“Just about, Pinkie. I need to write some notes.”

“W-wait, hold up just a moment. Am I ready for what?”

“Are you kidding?” Rainbow Dash scoffed, “Do you even know what happens before a bride and groom get married?”

“Umm…not really, no.”

“They have a PARTY!” Pinkie’s shout pierces the heavens.

“A bachelorette party, to be precise. I read all about it in a book.” Twilight holds up the book ‘So You Want To Have A Bachelorette Party’. Twilight looks excited to be a part of this. “This is going to be great. We even wrote a list of things to do.”

“More like YOU wrote a list of things to do!” Rainbow Dash butted in, “We’re going to do what we want, right Fluttershy?”

“Um…yes…I suppose…” Fluttershy whispers in nervousness.

“But, we haven’t set a date yet. Isn’t it a little early for a party?” Applejack asks.

“Early for a party?!” Pinkie gasps, “NEVER!”

“Okay, so…where are we all goin’?”

The mares look at one another, then back at Applejack.

“LAS PEGASUS!”

Applejack backs away from them in fear of that place.

“Oh no. Not Las Pegasus! I heard a lot of bad stories bout that place!” She backs up into Rarity. There is no escape now.

“Oh come now, dear. It’s going to be fun. I promise that you won’t regret it.”

“Ah think I just might!” She looks at Cadance, “Cadance, what did you do for your bachelorette party?”

“Well, I went to Las Pegasus. It was me that came up with the idea.”

“What did you do there?”

“I...” Like her husband, she draws a blank. “Huh...I’m not sure.” This didn’t do much to calm Applejack down.

“Listen ya’ll, ah don’t think we should do this! I heard that one time, a mare got stuck on a roof when…”

She is suddenly picked up by Twilight and Rarity’s magic, and they walk out of the boutique, all the while she screams at them, demanding that they put her down, and take her back home.

One Night In Las Pegasus

The train arrived in Las Pegasus after the sun went down. This was the best time to be in the city of lights, gambling, and wholesome entertainment. Las Pegasus was a place one can easily get lost in, and one where no pony would ever want to leave, once they had the taste of the high life. Ponies called it 'The City of Sin', and contrary to popular belief, they meant it in the best possible way.

Matt was forced out of the train car by the combined efforts of Shining Armor, Big Mac, Spike, and Donut Joe. They wanted to show their human com-padre a good time, no matter how much he resisted. Matt was less than enthused about being in such a place. Where he came from, the city was called Las Vegas, and though he was only there a couple times, neither trip ended with pleasing results. He would leave with empty pockets, a dizzy head, and running away from an enraged stripper for who knows what. Now that he is marrying Applejack, he plans to do everything in his power to not make such mistakes again, no matter how much his friends push him to do so.

The three stallions and dragon had to resort to picking him up again, and he is carried off to parts unknown.

Five cars down, Applejack is in a similar predicament. Unlike Matt, she had never been to Las Pegasus before, but she had heard stories about it, none of them any good. She knew it was a city where one would leave with an empty wallet, a dizzy head, and an enraged stripper chasing after you for who knows what. She was also keenly aware that if she had an ounce of alcoholic cider in her body, she would be inclined to make some stupid decisions, which would more than likely cause her to make an ass out of herself. Now that she is marrying Matt, she plans to do everything in her power to not make such mistakes.

The six ponies behind her forcefully carried her off the train, and into parts unknown.

The first site Matt was taken to, was a hotel and casino called Ahuizotl’s Palace, a favorite place amongst Donut Joe. In the front is a colossal stone statue of the titular creature, looking fierce and intimidating. Well...it would be intimidating, if a waterfall of bits weren't falling out of its mouth, and into some dark void.

“It looks like he's vomiting.” Matt points out.

“Yeah, it kind of does.” Big Mac agrees.

“Come on, you colts! This here, is where you can make some big bits!” Donut Joe said. He looks at the place, pleased to see it again. Matt can see that this pony had made a ton of money there. “I’ll show you to the best slots in the house! But first...”

They carry the poor human into the lobby, setting him down right in front of the cute Mare Receptionist working the computers. The two share a moment of uncomfortable eye contact; she had never seen a being such as Matt. She shakes off the initial shock, and feigns a welcoming smile.

“Welcome to Ahuizotl’s Palace. How many I help you?”

“I uh…” Matt doesn’t know what to say.

“Excuse me, Matt.” Donut Joe steps in, making flirtatious eyes at the clerk. “Hey there, Sweetheart.”

Matt looks down at her name tag. Her name is actually Sweetheart!

“Donut Joe!” she is surprised to see him. They have met before. “Welcome back! The usual room?”

“Not today, sweetie. I reserved the penthouse suite, for this lucky guy right here!” he stands, putting a friendly hoof around Matt’s shoulder. “He’s marrying a fine honey from Ponyville.”

“Hey!” Big Mac pulls Donut Joe down, “That’s mah sister yer talkin’ bout, Joe.”

“Relax, Big Mac. I’m just being complimentary.” he looks back at Sweetheart, “Just put it all on the bill. I’m paying everything for this man.”

“Wow, thanks Joe.” Matt is impressed, “I didn’t know you had that kind of money…no offense.”

“None taken. I always save up a boatload of bits for Pegasus. It’s kind of an annual vacation for me.”

“Just in case we spend too much, you always have me to fall back on too.” Shining Armor smirks, “I am the captain of the Royal Guard, you know.”

“The more the merrier, Shining!” says Joe.

Sweetheart gives all of them the keys to the suite. Spike hops up on the counter. She gives the little dragon a sweet smile.

“Hey there, little guy. You have any questions?”

“Yeah, does Ahuizotl really live here?”

Shining Armor grabs Spike with his magic, carrying him off, before the receptionist could give him an answer. From the look on her face, she’s heard it before, to the point where it has become unbearably annoying.

The Big Apple, a hotel made to represent the city of Manehattan, and a hot spot to those who like the familiar. The architecture looks like the city, only some of the landmarks are of much smaller scale, and made for the purposes of the rides that are hidden inside.

Applejack is carried into the lobby by her six friends, and dropped in front of the Male Unicorn Receptionist working the computers. The two share a uncomfortable moment of eye contact, before Cadance steps in, with a flirtatious smile.

“Hey there, Sugar Mane.” she says in a sly tone.

Applejack looks at the stallion’s name tag. It’s actually Sugar Mane!

“Uh…” Sugar Mane’s voice cracks. He nearly faints at the flawless beauty of Cadance. “Hey, there, Miss. What can I do for you?”

“Well…” she wraps a hoof around Applejack, bringing her in close, “This lucky mare is getting married soon, and we want to show her a good time. You can find the reservation under Cadance...PRINCESS CADANCE.” she strongly pronounces her title, which causes Sugar Mane to shake in his hooves. “You don’t worry your pretty mane, AJ.” she bops Applejack on the muzzle, “I’ll take care of everything.”

“Wow, thanks Princess. Ya really didn’t have ta…”

“You’re the bride to be, remember? It’s okay to be spoiled, just this once.”

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash shouts, “Here, YOU’RE the Princess!”

The other four ponies agree, as Sugar Mane floats over the keys to the rooms.

“Separate rooms?” Twilight wonders, “We’re not sleeping in one place?”

“Of course not.” Cadance says. “Who knows if one of you…gets lucky here, if you know what I mean.” Everypony blushes in embarrassment. Cadance leans down to Applejack, giving her a shining key, special from the others. “You get the best room in the hotel. Everything you can ever want is in there.”

“Everything?” Her eyes sparkle in anticipation.

“Let me show you.”

A small army of hotel staff pour out of the front doors, bowing down to the Princess, offering to take her bags. They looks around for said bags, and realize that neither of the ponies brought any. This was only a one night thing, so none saw the need to bring supplies. Nevertheless, the staff led them to the elevators, like they still wanted some kind of tip in return. Cadance was kind enough to give each staff member a few bits for their assistance.

Applejack and the others follow Cadance inside the elevators, up to their eventual rooms.

At the top of Ahuizotl's Palace, stands the penthouse suite, created exclusively for the most fancy pants of ponies. Or, in this case, a small troop of ponies, dragon, and human on a journey for the ultimate bachelor party. Statues of the Ahuiztol are all over the suite, in the kitchen, the corner, even the bathroom, where the faucet looked like the creature's mouth. It was impressive and overwhelming at the same time.

“Whoa!” says Big Mac, “This is amazin', Joe!”

“Yeah! It's like I'm back in the Crystal Kingdom!” Shining Armor continues to bring the praise.

“I told you, I strive for the very best when it comes to this bachelor party!”

Spike runs to a nearby bed, bouncing on it for maximum comfort.

“These beds are so soft...and huge!” he falls flat onto the mattress, sighing in relief. “I feel like a king...”

Matt walks up the the window overseeing the entire city. The lights, and the faint rumble of music reverberate through his senses. He has never been this high up before in his life; he would be lying if he said he wasn't in awe of the view.

However, something is on his mind.

“Is everything okay?” Shining Armor asks, “You've been very quiet on the way up.”

“I'm okay.” Matt reassures him, “It really is a beautiful view. I just wish Applejack was here to see it.”

“You're worried about her?”

“Well, you guys DID take me away from Ponyville, without giving me the chance to say goodbye.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Shining Armor was sincere in his apology, “Don't worry, Cadance is treating her to her own bachelorette party, so she'll be just fine.”

“Where did she take her?”

“I don't know. She wouldn't say.”

At the top of The Big Apple Hotel, is a hallway leading to all the rooms the seven ponies will be staying in. The rooms take up the entire floor.

“Wow!” said Twilight, “I didn't know you rented the whole floor!”

“That's one of the perks of being a Princess, Twi.” Cadance giggles.

“Whee!” screamed Pinkie, “What room should I choose?!” She zooms to one, look inside. “Not this one!” Goes to another. “Not this one!” Goes to another, she gasps loudly, “THIS ONE!” She rushes inside, locking the door.

Fluttershy goes into one of the rooms Pinkie left open. Looking through it, she trots into the bathroom. She notices that the bathtub has a mysterious faucet at the very top, which got her curiosity.

“Cadance? W-what is that?” Fluttershy points at the faucet. Cadance walks into see what Fluttershy is pointing at.

“That's a shower, Fluttershy.” Cadance chortles.

“A shower? I've never heard of showers before.” Fluttershy had always been used to baths back in Ponyville. She had heard the term before, back in Matt's apartment in New York City, but she did no know what it was, until now.

“It's like rain, but it comes out of that nozzle.”

“A nozzle? she asks, but Cadance is already out of the room before answering her.

Fluttershy carefully pulls back the lever, and water shoots out of the nozzle, scaring her nearly to death, immediately pulling the lever back, turning the water off.

Cadance picks the room at the far end, Fluttershy picks the room next to Rainbow Dash's, Rarity chooses the one in the middle, and Twilight is in the one closest to what will be Applejack's room. Cadance leads Applejack to her suite.

“And this, Applejack...is your room.”

She opens the door, revealing a luxurious suite, beyond imagination. Of all the rooms in the hotel, this is one fit for a queen. Applejack looks all around, mouth agape at the beauty and decadence of the place. She goes to the large sliding door, leading to the balcony, where she can see all of Las Pegasus in front of her. The shimmering lights, the moving vehicles, everything. The awe doesn't last for long, as a look of regret befalls her face. Cadance takes notice.

“What's the matter. AJ? Don't you like it?”

“It's beautiful, but...”

“But what?” Cadance gets closer for an answer.

“Ya said the room had everything I wanted. Ah wanted Matt.”

Cadance groans. Not only is Applejack unhappy, but that was by far one of the cheesier things she has ever heard.

“Urgh, lighten up, Applejack. You're in Las Pegasus! You deserve to have a good time, not wallow in grief! Come on, we're going out.”

“Where?”

“You'll see! Let's go!” She nods to Twilight, who pulls a bandana over AJ's eyes, blinding her.

In the casino section of Ahuzotl's palace, the gang is already underway in their quest for gambling. Joe is at the Craps tables, Shining Armor is playing Blackjack, Big Mac is at Dodge City Hold'Em, while Spike is discovering the infuriating glory that is the slot machine.

Matt stands around, watching his friends get to work on the casino floor. He looks around the casino, reminded of how remarkably similar it all is to Las Vegas. The only game he has had any experience with, are the slot machines. They were always themed, back where he came from, with licensed brands such as Batman and Transformers plastered on to the machines. In Las Pegasus, it's not much different. He sees Mysterious Mare Do Well and Transformares machines this time.

“Rats!” Spike yells in frustration, catching Matt's attention.

“What's wrong?” Matt asks, walking to the angered dragon.

“I don't understand this game! It makes noises like I'm going to win something, but then I lose for some reason!”

“Yeah, slot machines are like that. It's all random, when certain symbols are in line, you win mon---I mean bits.”

“Why don't you try it?”

“I don't know...” Matt attempts to back away with hesitation. “I tend to get pretty hooked on these things.”

“Come on. It's your party.”

Matt thinks about it for a moment. One game can't hurt...can it? He shrugs his shoulders, and sits down at a Transformares machine. The symbols are familiar to him, not all that different from the franchise he knew well back home.

He puts a couple bits into the machine, and pulls down on the lever. The symbols spin, and stop one at a time.

Decepticolt...Decepticolt...Autobronc...Decepticolt....Bumblemare....

Nothing. Just two wasted bits.

“Shoot.” Matt sighs, “Well...what's another game?” He puts a couple more bits in, and pulls down the lever.

The bandana comes off of Applejack's eyes, and she sees that she's in some kind of bar, with a sizable stage in the back. There are many mares, but also a couple stallions in the mix. Cadance and the others sit her down in front of the stage, sliding her a mug of strong cider. She stares at the mug for a few seconds, pondering whether she would drink it or not. Remembering her promise to herself, she shakes her head in refusal.

“Aw no.” she says. “No drinking for me tonight, girls.”

“Why not?” asks Rarity, “Don't you want to celebrate?”

“Shucks girls, ah do wanna celebrate, but not like this...” she looks at Pinkie Pie. “What the hay are you doin' with a camera, Pinkie?”

“Noootthhhiiiinnnnggg...” She says mischievously, followed by a foreboding giggle. She points the camera straight onto Applejack's increasingly suspicious face.

“Alright, just where in the hay am I? And why is there a stage in front of us?”

On cue, the lights go out, a lone spotlight shines on the curtain, and a Unicorn Stallion comes out with a microphone floating by his lips.

“Hellooooo laddiiiieeeeeeeesssssss!!! And Stallions too, no discrimination here! Welcome to Cuddly Colts! We have a big show, tonight!”

It slowly dawns on Applejack where she is, and she does not like it one bit.

“Girls...” she says, “Is this what I think it is?”

“Well, you're not going to see some kids play, AJ.” Cadance grins.

“Tonight, we have a very special guest. Give it up for Applejack!” The spotlight shines on the very shocked cowpony, as the microphone floats down to her. “Tell us, why are you here tonight?” The announcer asks.

“Ummm...a bachelorette party.”

Everypony in the house cheer. Applejack looks down in embarrassment.

“Fantastic!” the announcer says with enthusiasm, “And what's the lucky colt's name?”

“Matt...”

“An odd name for a stallion, but beggars can't be choosers.”

“He's not...” The microphone is swiftly flown away from her, and back to the announcer.

“What do you say, boys?” he calls out to somepony behind the curtain. “Shall we show this lovely cowpony how it's done?!”

Suddenly, the lights go into overdrive, as techno music blares from the speakers. The curtain opens, revealing a troop of well built stallions, ready to make the stage its slave. Applejack's eyes widen; her suspicions weren't unfounded...this is a colt strip club. She darts a look at her friends, giving Pinkie a camera ready moment.

“A strip club?!” she shouts over the loud music.

“Lighten up!” screams Cadance, “Have some fun!” She starts dancing to the beat. Rarity, Pinkie, and Twilight join her.

Rainbow Dash bobs her head in her seat, while Fluttershy just looks at her, still very much infatuated with her, as she was when she admitted her crush to Matt long ago. Rainbow Dash turns to her good friend.

“You like the music?!” she yells.

“Uh...yeah...I guess...” she says timidly.

“Huh?!”

“I said yeah!” she says louder, and more audible. Rainbow goes back to bobbing her head, while Fluttershy nervously grabs a nearby mug of hard cider, and takes a massive swig.

“Come on, hot stuff!” The announcer shouts to the stallions. “You can do better than that! Show the lucky mare a good time!”

The stallions approach the so not into it Applejack.

“Oh no. No no no no no!” she tries backing up, it's no use. The stallions pick her up, and put her on the stage, much to the celebration and hilarity of the other mares back in their seats. The stallions dance and gyrate around her, as her cheeks become crimson red.

She does NOT want to be there.

Matt and the others leave the casino, with Spike, Shining Armor, and Big Mac congratulating him on a big win. He looks awfully proud of what happened in the casino.

“Ah can't believe it! Ten thousand bits!” Big Mac shouts.

“Not after losing quite a few bits beforehand.” Matt tries to downplay the win.

“But, you can pay for the wedding now.” Shining Armor says, “You have more than enough.”

“That's a good point.” Matt agrees, “Thank Celestia for banks. Would have hated carrying a bag of all those bits around. Hey Joe, what do you...?”

They look over to see Donut Joe looking down on the ground. He has not had such good fortune as Matt tonight.

“You okay?” Matt wonders.

“Yeah...I'm just not as lucky as I usually am. Lost almost half my savings.”

“I'm sorry Joe. You want me to give you some bits, to make up the difference?” Matt offers.

“No, that money is for you. I don't want to take your wedding money, that would make me feel like a jerk.”

“How about you take my money?” Shining Armor asks, “I have millions of bits.”

Donut Joe thinks for a bit, before answering “Okay.” in a peppy tone, feeling much better.

“Good.” Confirms Shining Armor, “Now, it's my turn to take you colts somewhere I like. I went here on my bachelor party, and had a great time!”

“I thought you forgot what you did in Las Pagasus.”

“I do, but I remember this place just fine.”

Shining Armor leads them across the strip, and all the way to a building with more neon lights than all of Las Pagasus...and it's a place called Frisky Fillies. Matt eyes nearly fall out of their sockets in shock.

“Oh no, guys! I am NOT going into a place called Frisky Fillies!”

“Relax, they're all of age. They're not really fillies; they all have their cutie marks! At least, I think they do...” Shining Armor trails off, trying to remember. In the meantime, Matt tries to get away, but in vain, as Big Mac clamps onto Matt's shirt, and drags him inside.

Matt sits uncomfortably in the strip club, making occasional glances at the dancing mares on a variety of stages, with different themes. He watches the stallions and mares inside cheering on the seductive motions of the strippers on stage.

“I don't understand why you even have strip clubs.” Matt says to Shining Armor, “It's not like there's really that much to hide.”

“Don't be such a sourpuss, and enjoy yourself. Speaking of enjoyment...”

A particularly lovely mare named Candy Cane walks to Matt, putting a hoof around his shoulder, getting awfully close to him.

“She's ready for you.”

“Who is ready?”

“Your personal lap-dance.”

Matt's eyes bug out again, as he shakes his head in rapid succession.

“No, uh-uh. No lap dance, thank you.”

“Come on, Matt. I paid for it, the least you can do is enjoy it.” Shining Armor pleads with his eyes, attempting to give Matt a puppy dog face. “I hear she's reallyyyy good.”

Matt sighs. Reluctantly, he gets up from his seat and follows Candy Cane to the rooms. The stallions and dragon he has left behind high hoof each other with glee.

He enters the private room through a velvet curtain. The room is lit with a strong blue light, a stripper pole, and a single seat in the middle. Matt sits down; the seat is comfortable.

“She'll be with you soon.” Candy Cane winks, leaving the room.

Matt has a few seconds to gather his thoughts. He takes a deep breath, shifting around in his seat, trying to find the spot that gives him the most comfort. The spot is warm, as if somepony else has been here not too long before he showed up.

“Okay Matt.” he talks quietly to himself, “Here's the deal...you're getting married. You don't know when, but you're getting married. She's the most special mare in all of Equestria, and you're marrying her. No matter how beautiful this chick that's coming into the room is, she'll be nothing compared to the one you'll be spending the rest of your life with. However...you should probably try to find SOME enjoyment out of this. How about you imagine Applejack as the stripper? Yeah...that sounds awesome.”

He hears the curtains ruffle, and finally open. The mare dances inside, with all the seduction that the mares were displaying on the stage, maybe even more so. She wears a sexy magicians outfit, her cape twirling along with her body, exposing some sensual lingerie. She stops her spin, and looks into Matt's eyes...a look of familiarity strikes her. He recognizes those eyes. More importantly, he recognizes that mare...she only flung him into a tree.

“Troll?”

“Trixie?!”

Trixie ceases her dance, closes the curtains, and storms over to him.

“What are you doing here?!”

“Having my bachelor party, what are you doing here?!”

“Trixie works here!”

“At Frisky Fillies?! I thought you were a Magician!”

“Trixie can have more than one job! Besides, what was it is about The Hot and Sexy Trixie did you not get from the sign out front?!”

“There's a sign of you out there?! I was too blinded by the lights to notice!”

“Then, why are you in this room?!”

“Because Shining Armor paid for the dance! If I knew it was you, I...”

“You what?”

“I would have freaked out a little, for one thing.” The two stare out of awkwardness for moments. “Look, I don't want to do this, as much as you don't so...” Matt begins to get up, but Trixie pushes him back onto the chair.

“No. There aren't any refunds at Frisky Fillies. Better make yourself comfortable, and no touching the dancer.”

“You're kidding, right?” he can't believe she's going through with it.

“Trixie does not kid.” she sighs.

She sways left to right, loosening herself up, after being rigid with surprise. Matt watches her like a psych patient would watch a swinging pocket-watch to commence hypnosis. Suddenly, she goes into the dance. She stands on her back legs, like she was a human, dancing and spinning around the pole. Matt watches her gyrating body, admitting that she's a very good dancer. She removes her cape, tossing it at him. It's warm and soft, like a blanket.

“So...you're getting married? Trixie wasn't aware that more trolls like you existed.”

“Again, I'm a human, Trixie.” She presses her back against his shoulder, using a hoof to caress his face. “And I'm marrying a pony.” Trixie goes onto the floor, slowly removing a fishnet stocking from her leg.

“Oh? Who may I ask?” she tosses the removed fishnet away.

“Applejack.” he notices the name gives her pause. “You know her?”

“Trixie tied her up once.” She stands back up, guiding her forelegs all around her body.

“Really?” Matt says, interested.

“Not like that, you strange creature.” she removes another fishnet. “She challenged my rope skills, and I responded by tying her up.” she takes off her hat, placing it on Matt's head. “Trixie never thought that she would find a being such as you attractive.” Provocatively, she takes off her lingerie. There is nothing left to remove. “But Trixie has been wrong before.” She twirls, and straddles Matt; her legs tight around his waist. The two look into each other's eyes, as a realization dawns on her. “This is doing nothing for you, isn't it?”

“Can't say that it is.” he chuckles, shaking his head. “You are good at this, though. If I were a weaker man...”

“Trixie is surprised at your restraint. Every colt thus far has fallen head over hooves for Trixie after just a few minutes. Maybe...” Her horn glows, and Matt's hand is suddenly flung onto her flank. She makes his hand give her flank a squeeze, hoping for a reaction from him. “Anything?”

“Nope. Very firm, though. You work out?”

She lets his hand go, scoffing in disappointment.

“Trixie is annoyed at how in love you are with this mare. Won't even let me get to the big finish.”

“Don't tell me you harbor some secret feelings for me. I've had enough of that to last a lifetime.”

Trixie laughs loudly, “Don't flatter yourself, you are not even close to being Trixie's type.” she glances at the curtain, “Now, that Shining Armor, Trixie likes.”

“Sorry, he's married.”

“Like that's going to stop somepony as great and powerful as Trixie.” she giggles.

“Do you always refer to yourself in the third person?”

“Only when Trixie is around others.” she gets off of Matt, taking her hat back. “Well, it's been fun, but our time is up.” Matt reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small bag of bits. “The dance has already been paid for.”

“This is for you.” he gives her the money.

“Why?”

“Just take it.” he holds the money to her. After moments of hesitation, she takes it. “You can come to the wedding, once we set a date.”

“Trixie doesn't do weddings. But Trixie will consider your offer, if Trixie isn't back on the road.”

“You know, I might have said this before, but you really are not as mean as others have been saying.”

“I tried to take over Ponyville once.”

“Fair enough, but my point still stands.” he chuckles, “You take care of yourself.”

“You too...human.”

Matt walks out of the private room, and back into the main room. He sees the guys hanging around the stages, whooping and hollering at the mares dancing, tossing bits at them, all the while drinking some hard cider. Matt shakes his head, chuckling as he does it. Having enough of this place, he exits the club, leaving his friends to their own devices.

Applejack stands at the sink in the bathroom of the Cuddly Colts strip club. The sounds of cheering are muffled to her, as she cleans her hat of whipped cream and chocolate.

“Dang stallions, using mah hat to make a banana split!” she says with disgust. Finished, she puts the soaking wet hat back on her head, examining her face in the mirror. She is tired, and wants nothing more than to go to bed, and sleep away her troubles. “Not exactly what you expected, did ya AJ?” she talks to herself, “Of course not, ah totally expected mah hat to be used for some onstage dessert eatin'!” The sarcasm is not lost. She shakes her head, “Ah just wanna go home. Ah hope Matt's okay.”

Moments later, Applejack comes out of the bathroom. The rest of the gang is in high spirits, drinking, and screaming at the stage for the stallions to take their underwear off. The only one not doing much of anything is Fluttershy, aside from downing her tenth cup of hard cider. Her eyes derping, as she finishes emptying out the mug. Applejack notices Pinkie had left her camera on the table. On a whim, she takes the camera, walking out of the club, before things got really raunchy.

The cowpony walks through the streets of Las Pegasus, looking for directions back to her hotel. Being brought to this place underneath a blindfold really made thing more difficult than need be. She would ask tourists, citizens, even bought a map, but she still had a little trouble finding what she was looking for. She turns on the camera, looking through the viewfinder, watching the world through a lens. She wasn't much of a technology guru, but she got the hang of it just fine.

She presses record, and points the camera at her face.

“Well, here ah am. Walkin' the streets of Las Pegasus. Ah don't know where I am, and this here map's as useless as a BB Gun versus a freight train. Ah hope I find what I'm lookin' for soon, or else I'll be goin' back to that club. I really hate this place.”

She turns off the camera, looking at it intently, as she keeps on trotting.

Bump.

She brushes against somebody hard, causing both to stumble. They both turn to face one another...

“I'm sorry...” The male voice says.

“No I'm....” she freezes in place. The colt in front of her is not a colt. “Matt?”

His eyes widen upon realizing who it is.

“Applejack?”

The two pause for what feels like ages. Like magnets to metal, the two latch onto one another for a passionate kiss, right in the middle of the Pegasus Strip, catching the attention of the inhabitants, watching this odd sight. The two break away from the kiss, happy to see each other.

“I missed you.” Matt says.

“I can tell.” Applejack chuckles, “What are ya doin' here?”

“Oh, you know. Gambling, going into strip clubs, the usual.”

“Strip clubs?”

“I left Shining Armor, Big Mac, Donut Joe, and Spike over at Frisky Fillies. They were having a pretty good time.”

“And you?”

“It was okay. But...I would much rather be with you.”

“Ah left the others over at some stallion strip joint. I was lookin' for mah hotel.”

“You're lost?”

“I wouldn't have been, if the others didn't blindfold me when they brought me here.”

“Where are you staying?”

“The Big Apple. What about you?”

“Ahuizotl's Palace. It's a pretty nice suite, but there's no privacy. All of us are sleeping in there.”

“Cadance bought the fanciest suite in the hotel, all for myself.” She leans in for a tantalizing whisper. “Nopony is allowed in, so we have all the time to ourselves.”

“Give me the map.” Matt demands; he is now more determined than ever to find Applejack's hotel. She gives him the map. He looks at it, studying the route to get to The Big Apple. The hotel is not too far away. Swiftly, he picks up Applejack, and takes off running through the crowds, much to the amusement of his fiance.

Inside Frisky Fillies, the stripper known as The Milkmare Of Trottingham has left the stage. The group Matt had left was finishing picking their jaws off the floor, and getting their barrings. Of the group that had drinks, Shining Armor easily had the most, downing more mugs of hard cider than any known pony in Equestria. It's a miracle that the captain of the Royal Guard is still standing after all of that.

“WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” he shouts with enthusiasm, “Let's go again!”

“Come on, Shinin' Armor. You're drunk.” Big Mac half carries the captain towards the door. Spike looks around the club, and notices a important member of the crew has gone missing.

“Hey, guys. Where's Matt?”

The group look around. He's nowhere to be found.

“Maybe he went back to the hotel.” said Donut Joe, “I hope he's okay.”

“I donts care where kh-he isssssss......” Shining Armor slurs, “I wanna go get luuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!”

“Yeah, ya definitely had too much ta drink. Yer coming with us.” Big Mac and Joe carry Shining Armor out the door.

Meanwhile, at Cuddly Colts, the fifth group of stallions have finished their routine, and the stage is being set for the next round. The audience remains hyped, while the group of ponies for the Bachelorette party are still ready to go. Fluttershy is nearly drunk from all the hard cider, but it is Cadance who has drunk the most out of all of them.

“WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” she shouts with great enthusiasm, “Let's go again!”

“Princess?” Rarity looks at her with concern, “Aren't you a little drunk?”

“Nawww Fluttershy! I'm great!”

“I'm Rarity.”

“Exactly, Pinkie Pie!”

“Girls...” The others turn to the fashion pony, “I think she's had enough.”

“Alright...” Twilight agreed, “We'll take her back to the hotel. Come on AJ...AJ?” Applejack is not there. “Did anypony see Applejack?”

“I remember her going to the bathroom. But that's about it.” Answered Rainbow Dash.

“She took my camera, and walked out the door!” Said Pinkie Pie.

“What?!” Twilight yelled, “Why didn't you say anything?!”

“Nopony asked me, silly!”

“She doesn't know the way back! She could be lost out there!”

“Oooops.”

“Come on girls, we have to find Applejack!” Twilight notices Cadance is a blubbering mess on the floor. “And somepony help Cadance.”

Rainbow Dash and Rarity help Cadance up.

“Don't touch me ya perverts! Security!” The Princess babbles on, as she is escorted out the door.

Matt and Applejack lay together in her bed inside the suite. With an arm wrapped around her shoulder, he holds up the camera, looking at the footage of her wild night inside Cuddly Colts. Applejack blushes with embarrassment, as she watches herself getting grinded by the stallions, as they eat a banana split from her hat. She makes occasional glances at Matt, afraid that he would be angry, but nothing could be further from the truth. Matt can only laugh at all the insanity that is happening in the club.

“That's why your hat is so damp!” Matt says between laughs, “They were having dessert in it!” He cracks up some more.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up. Ah don't see your embarrasin' moments on tape.”

“No one brought a camera with them, unfortunately. I'm definitely adding this to the collection of funny moments.”

“You put one frame of that on the internet, and I swear to Celestia...”

“Relax. I'll only show it to the guys.”

Applejack reaches for the camera, trying to get it from him. He holds the camera up, preventing her from reaching it. She shouts to him to give it back, while he laughs at her struggle. She sits up, and gets onto his lap to get a higher reach, which works.

“Got it!” she shouts victoriously, “What do ya say to th...” she looks down to see the reddened face of her future husband. Realizing that she is on top of him, a blush graces her cheeks, as she slowly takes a camera from his hands, turning it on, pointing it directly at him. “Why Matt...I do believe that you're blushin'.” He puts a hand on the lens.

“I'm not very photogenic.” he says, “Turn that off.”

“Nonsense.” she slaps his hand off, “Ah think you're very handsome. Tell me, was your face like this when you were getting a lap-dance?”

“Not really.”

“I don't believe you.” she chuckles, “What was her name?”

“The Hot and Sexy Trixie.”

“WHAT?!” Applejack nearly drops the camera. “Ya can't be serious!”

“I am dead serious. And now all our friends will know about it, since you recorded it.”

“Oh...right.” She nearly forgot she had the camera on, “Maybe this tape will just be between us.”

“You're not thinking what I think you are?”

“No! Gross! I would never!”

“Then turn the camera off.”

“Nah, I'm going to keep it on for a bit.”

“Turn it off.”

“Nope.” she laughed. He brings her down to him, and she puts the camera down on the bed, the lens facing the two. The two laugh, but things become more...romantic, as he puts a hand on her cheek, caressing it. They both go in for a soft kiss.

“Ah smell like beer and ice cream.” Applejack says, breaking away from the kiss.

“You smell fine to me.”

She gets off of him and walks to the bathroom door. She opens it as she continues to stare at Matt with sultry eyes.

“I'm gonna take a shower.” she stands, putting her hooves on her lace underwear, and slowly bringing it to the ground. “You can join me...if ya like.” Applejack disappears into the bathroom.

Matt watches the door, hearing the shower come on, and the sounds of the curtain opening and closing. He looks over at the camera; it's still recording.

“I'll be right back.” he tells the camera, turning it off.

Applejack lets the water soak her body, washing the stink of the night's shenanigans off, and into the drain. Matt hops into the bathroom, clothes nearly off, trying to get that last pesky sock removed from his foot. He falls to the floor with a thud and a chuckle, as he gets up quickly, brushing off the fall like it was nothing.

He opens the curtain and steps into the shower.

“Sorry; the tub is smaller than I thought. It's gonna be hard to find some room.” she tells him.

“I think I can manage.” He puts his hands on her shoulders, moving her up to standing position; her head reaching his shoulder. There's enough room for the two of them now. “There we go.”

“Points for being practical.” she chortles. “How do you like the water? Is it too hot?”

“It's just fine.” he tells her, as he plays with the tuft of fur on her chest, “Considering the last time we were in water together, it was especially cold.”

“The last time we were in water together, I was drowning.” she laughs, but Matt is a little quiet, stopping his playfulness. “What's the matter?”

“I'll never forgive myself for what happened that day." Matt thinks back to the day Applejack fell into the lake. He was trying to keep his distance away from, to prevent himself for telling her how he really felt. What he ended up doing was hurting her, driving her to that rickety dock, where she almost died. "If I wasn't being such a jerk, you wouldn't have been on that dock.”

Applejack turns around, looking into Matt's eyes; full of regret and sorrow. She puts her hooves on his chest, lovingly caressing him.

“Hey, you dove in and saved me, remember? It's because of you, I'm still here. If you didn't follow me...”

“Don't say that.” he says, “I don't want to think about what would have happened if I lost you.”

Applejack shakes her head with a smirk. She affectionately puts a hoof on his face, bringing him closer to her. His hands move to her hips, holding them like they were in a dance.

“You're never going to lose me, Matt.”

“Promise?”

“Cross mah heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in mah eye.”

“What was that?”

“A Pinkie Pie promise.”

“A lot better than a needle, that's for sure.”

The two lock lips once more. Soon, the kiss becomes more passionate. Matt reaches around her for the valve, turning it; the water getting just a little hotter. Steam begins to fill the room, as he picks Applejack up by the hips; her legs wrapping around him, and he presses her against the wall.

Big Macintosh continues to carry the still very drunk Shining Armor along the strip, as the others in the party clear a path to the way back to the hotel, where a nice cosy bed awaits them. They all continue to assume that Matt is there, either waiting for them, or fast asleep in his own room. Shining Armor grumbles in his drunken stupor, while Big Mac has to deal with all the drool coming out of the captain's mouth.

“How much further?” Big Mac asks, “His drool is puttin' a damper on mah coat.”

“Not much further...” says Donut Joe. “We're getting close to....RARITY?!”

The group stops. In front of them, stands the bachelorette group. The two parties look at each other in total wide eyed awkwardness. Big Mac gives a slight wave to Twilight, who waves back. Spike looks to see the passed out Princess Cadance in the floating bubble.

“Joe?” says Rarity, “What are you doing here?”

“We're here for the bachelor party. What about you?”

“We were here for the bachelorette party, but we have seemed to misplaced the bride to be.” She notices an absence of Matt in the group. “And where is the groom?”

“Not sure. We figured he went back to the hotel.”

The other ponder this. Gradually, the thought entered their heads that the two found each other amidst all the madness in the city. A smile is brought of each of them.

“I guess this party was a waste. All we have to show for it, is a drunken captain, and you a drunken princess.”

Suddenly, both Shining Armor and Cadance violently wake up, as if they sense each other's presence. Cadance breaks from the bubble, falling to the ground on her hooves. Shining Armor isn't so graceful, tumbling off Big Mac, and face first into the pavement. He looks up to see his drunken wife.

“Cadance!” he shouts, still intoxicated, “What arrrrrree you doing heeeeeeerrrrreeeeee?!”

“W-what am I doin' here?! What about youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?!” she stomps closer to him; he does the same.

“Ahm getting lucky!”

“Not on my watch, you're not!”

“Oh yeah?” he lets out a loud and strong burp. The others reel back in disgust, but Cadance remains unwavering. “Try and stahp me, baby!”

The princess and the captain grab onto each other, proceeding to make out in the sloppiest fashion possible. They fall onto the ground, furiously kissing one another, much to the surprise of everpony around them. The groups can only watch in horror at this terrifying display of sucking muzzles.

“I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!” Fluttershy shouts to the skies, in a rage of inebriation. She latches onto Rainbow Dash, and forces her into a long, somewhat lascivious kiss. Everpony's attention is drawn away from Shining Armor and Cadance, to something much more interesting.

“Oh my...” Big Mac says, jaw nearly falling to the ground.

Rainbow Dash is frozen by the sudden session of locked lips and dancing tongues, but she lets herself go, and gets swept up by it. The two separate, and stare into each other's eyes.

“Your room?” Rainbow Dash asks.

“My room.”

They fly off at supersonic speeds. Back to the other making out couple. Shining Armor and Cadance get up, both determined to go somewhere more private.

“Let's go!” Shining Armor announces. He takes Cadance by the hoof, and the two run off...in the wrong direction.

“You think they'll be okay?” Twilight asks.

“They'll be fine.” assures Big Mac.

Whatever is left of the groups take a look at their low numbers. Three on three.

“What do we do now?” wonders Donut Joe.

Morning has come. The night of partying is over. Applejack and Matt hold each other, with her head resting on his chest. They are still very much awake, and still very happy to be with one another.

“How many times has that been so far?”

“Let me think about that...five I believe?”

“No way. We got to have done it more times than that.”

“There was the time at Twilight's, that time in the apple orchard, and the tool-shed...”

“That was an interesting one.”

“Then when I asked you to marry me, and now...well...now.”

“What about when mah family went to visit Appaloosa, leaving the house to us?”

“OH yeah! I almost forgot about that one.” he looks at Applejack. “Why the sudden interest in how many times we've done it?”

“Ah was just wonderin' if you were sick of it yet.”

“Me? Sick of this? Never. You're not sick of this either, are you?” Matt gets a little worried.

“Of course not. Ah learn something new about you every time.” she gets closer to his face. “Like how you like it when I bite your lip.” She does so.

“Or how when you like it when I nibble your ear.” he does so.

“Or when I kiss your neck.” she does so.

“Or when I tickle your stomach.” he does so. She immediately giggles, begging him to stop. He continues, and the two playfully tussle in the bed. He finally stops, and she is able to catch her breath.

“Matt? When do you want to get married?”

“I don't know. It depends on you, really.” he watches her while she thinks of a date.

“Next week.” she says with confidence. “This time next week, we will be married.”

“Done.” he confirms. “I kind of feel bad for leaving the guys back at the bar. I hope they're okay.”

“Yeah, ah feel a little bad myself, leaving the girls. I'm sure they're fine.”

In the next room, Big Mac and Twilight are cuddled in each other's forelegs. The muffled sounds of the music and partying out the window wake them both up, albeit slowly. The two yawn simultaneously, and see each other, smiling.

“Good mornin',Twi.”

“Good morning, Big Mac.”

“Ya sleep okay?”

“I slept just fine, thank you.”

“That was a crazy night, wasn't it?”

“Yeah, but it got better...once you showed up.”

“Shucks, Twi.” he blushes through his red cheeks, “Ya don't really mean that.”

“Of course I do, Mac. Why would you say that?”

“Ah don't know. Sometimes ah think that this...is just some kind of fling or somethin'.”

“Big Mac...”

“Ah know you had feelin's for Matt, and ah was just what ya call a rebound.”

“Don't say things like that. You're ruining this moment. It's all in the past, I promise you. There's nothing there anymore between me and him.”

“Ya sure?”

Twilight inches closer to him, with loving eyes.

“I love you, Big Mac.” she tells him. He can see the truth in her eyes, there was no deception going on behind them. A big goofy grin graces his face.

“Ah love ya too, Twi.”

“I know you do. You only stole my Ms. Smartypants doll a while back.”

“You knew about that?”

“I slept in your bed, Mac. Of course I know about that.” They laugh. “You think everypony is okay?”

“I'm sure they're fine.”

In the next room, Cadance and Shining Armor are both sprawled over each other in bed. After having a wild night of Celestia knows what. They groan in agony at the massive hangover they are sure to be sustaining. Shining Armor is the first to sit up, rubbing his throbbing head in pain, squinting his eyes at the light outside. Cadance comes next, sitting up, doing the exact same thing as her husband. They two look at each other, and both yelp in shock. They obviously do not remember last night.

“I! BUT I...WHAT ARE YOU?! WHAAAA?!” They both yell at one another. They stop; any attempt to talk again, only resulted in them saying the exact same thing, asking the same exact questions.

“How is it, that we got so drunk, that we STILL managed to get into bed together?”

“Why? Would you prefer that I was somepony else?” asked Cadance.

“No. At the very least, I won't have any grief, or spending the rest of my life hiding a secret from you.”

“Yeah, at the very least.” she sarcastically mutters under her breath. “I don't remember anything. Did we even do it?”

“I don't...” he looks down on the floor, spotting a large box of condoms, “Yep. We totally did it.” he looks inside the box, “A lot. Even drunk, we were safe about it.”

“Well, at least we didn't do anything completely stupid.”

Another groan is head. It's not coming from either of them. Rising from in front of the bed is Trixie! She rubs her head in pain, same as them, obviously suffering from the mother of all hangovers as well.

“Ugh...where am I?”

The three lock eyes. The moment could last for decades.

“Ummm....hi.”

Down at the restaurant, Donut Joe and Rarity are having an early morning breakfast. In front of Rarity is a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal and coffee, while Joe has a plate of donuts and a glass of milk in front of him. He rubs his hooves in anticipation at the meal to come.

“Oh boy, these look great.” he says with happiness. Before he can take a bite, he spots Rarity looking disapprovingly at the plate of pastries. “What is it, sweetie?”

“You eat too much of those, and you can get fat.”

“Nonsense. I've been eating donuts since I was a foal, and I turned out alright. Got you, didn't I?”

“Well, yes I suppose. But it's so many donuts. You normally only get one or two. There's eight of those there!”

“Hey, what happens in Las Pegasus....”

“Yes, yes, I know 'Stays in Las Pegasus', I've heard it before.” she notices Joe slide the plate over to her, “And just what are you doing?”

“Maybe you can have some, too?” he smiles.

“Oh no. It's not my cheat day yet. I have to keep this fabulous figure looking fabulous.”

“Come on. What's a few donuts? You're not going to get fat from one day of eating donuts.”

She looks down at the plate. Even she had to admit, the donuts on display did look pretty tasty. Especially that glazed one, with the white frosting at the top, and delicious looking rainbow colored sprinkles...her mouth just watered.

“I guess ONE donut won't hurt.” she picks up the donut that caught her eye. Carefully, she takes a small bite out of it. Joe watches her chew, taking in all the flavor. A pause. She looks back at the plate, and then to him. She looks past him, and her eyes widen. “Is that Princess Celestia?” she points.

“Where?” he looks behind him. No Princess Celestia. He turns back to see his plate of donuts has been replaced by oatmeal and coffee. Rarity has his donuts and milk. “Hey!”

“MINE!” she shouts at him.

“Okay, fine.” he looks down at the oatmeal. With one sniff, he reels back in disgust. “Blech. Gross. I bet the others are doing better than I am.”

Fluttershy, the most timid pony in all of Equestria, has finally taken charge and consummated her long standing crush with her best friend Rainbow Dash. It took a few gallons of hard cider, but she drummed up the courage to do so, nonetheless. It was a night neither of them were ever going to forget. It was wild, it was crazy, and a few things attached to the wall are now detached, and splayed on the floor in pieces. Once they were done, all they could do was stare up at the ceiling, never sleeping, never moving, just laying there until the sun came up. Only when the day broke, did they make brief glances at one another, but it was always at the same time, making things even more uncomfortable.

“Ummm....” Rainbow Dash started the speak, “So...that's how you felt about me?”

“Yes...” Fluttershy quietly spoke, almost incomprehensible to those who did not know her.

“I see...” she breaths in and out, taking in the revelation. “I...can't say I'm...completely surprised but....wow. That was...something.”

“I'm...I'm sorry I was so rough. I thought I had to be assertive with this kind of thing.”

“Oh, that was fine. I might have gotten a bruise or two but...yeah...it was fine.” Rainbow Dash looks around the room. “We probably shouldn't tell the staff what happened to cause this mess.”

“I agree. No telling the staff.” she gets quiet again, “Um...Rainbow? What do we do now?”

“I don't know.” she thinks for a moment, “Do you...do you want to go steady?”

“Huh?” Fluttershy doesn't understand.

“Like, do you want to hang out?”

“But...we always hang out.”

“Yeah, but I mean as...how do I say this without sounding lame? Like...a couple?”

“Umm...yeah...sure...I mean...if that's okay with you.”

“Yeah, that's okay with me.” Rainbow is already starting to get used to the idea. “Yeah...cool.”

“Rainbow? We kind of left the others behind. Do you think they're okay?”

“Yeah. I'm sure they're okay.”

At the top floor of Ahuizotl's Palace, is the suite that the guys were planning to stay for the night. It is now in shambles. The statues are broken to the point of unrecognizably, the television is now a big, broken, staticy mess, the bath is full of giant inflatable rafts, the walls are adorned with splattered cupcakes, and in the middle of it all...are the hungover bodies of Spike and Pinkie Pie.

Spike wakes up, stumbling to his feet. The carnage is all a blur to him; all he can think about is going to the bathroom. He hobbles like a zombie to the bathroom, ready to urinate his entire body weight out in alcohol. The moment he walks in, he sees something he cannot ignore.

A sleeping Manticore in the middle of the bathroom.

Needless to say...he doesn't have to pee anymore.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” he screams.

“RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The Manticore fires back.

Spike slams the door shut, pushing furniture in front of it, to prevent the creature from escaping. He turns to see all the damage and destruction he and the pink pony have caused.

“What the heck did we do?!” he runs to Pinkie, shaking her into consciousness. “Pinkie! Pinkie wake up!”

“Huh? Wha?” she awakens, “Hey Spike! How's it going?”

“Pinkie! Manticore! Bathroom! Destroyed Room! Go! Now!”

“Relax. The Manticore wouldn't hurt a fly. He only gets agitated by sudden loud noises.”

“Uh-oh.”

“What?”

“I screamed at it.”

The bathroom door explodes off its hinges, the Manticore roars with uncontrollable fury.

“RRUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!” shouted Pinkie.

The two clamor to their feet and hooves, and take off running like their lives depend on it. In fact, their lives DO depend on it.

At the train station, everypony is ready to leave the bustling city of Las Pegasus, and back to the nice peaceful town of Ponyville. Matt and Applejack are the happiest of the group, ready to go back, and prepare for their eventual wedding. Twilight and Big Mac make cute faces at each other, calling one another cheesy names, that make the others around them groan or facehoof. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy remained uneasy about their new-found relationship, but were willing to continue it. Donut Joe can't help but watch Rarity down her third box of donuts. He finds it incredible that she still looks the same as she always has. Shining Armor, Cadance, and Trixie stand with bags of ice on their heads; the migraine barely slowing down.

The only ones unaccounted for are....

“DON'T GO!” Pinkie shouts, Spike right behind her.

The others board the train. Pinkie grabs Spike with her teeth, and rockets to the train car. She takes a flying leap, and dives into the train car moments before the doors close.

“What's the hurry?” Matt asks.

He doesn't have much longer to wait for an answer, as the train station gets attacked by the Manticore. The conductor panics, commanding that the train take off immediately. It does so. As if the train was powered by jet fuel, it rides off faster that ever from the station, moments before the Las Pegasus police storm the station to sedate the rampaging beast.

“Shining Armor? You might have to pay for the damages to the hotel.” Spike says.

“Yeah, whatever. I'll deal with it.” Shining Armor brushes it off, trying to focus his attention on getting rid of his headache.

“So, how did you two manage to get a Manticore to chase after you?” Matt wonders.

“Forget it, Matt...” Pinkie says, “It's Las Pegasus.”

The King Returns

Canterlot Castle. Home of Princess Celestia and her sister, Princess Luna. They have been seldom seen by the Equestrian folk for the past couple of months. Some have said that they had fallen ill, and didn’t want to get anypony else sick. Others say that the reasons are far more dire. In truth, they were investigating a series of mysterious events throughout the world. Strange storms and black fog inch closer and closer to the city of Canterlot. Most ponies have called it a travelling storm, the Princesses think it is something else entirely. Somepony, or something is heading for them, and will arrive at any moment.

And it had to happen on a wedding day.

Matt stands in front of a tall mirror in his house, wrestling with the tie on his suit for the wedding. It is a mixture of fancy and country, just like he suggested to Pinkie the day she showed him ideas. From an angle, it looks like any standard suit, but with boots, spurs, a cowboy hat, and a sheriff’s badge; though instead of sheriff, it says ‘Groom’ on it. Matt’s own personal touch.

It looks perfect, but that dang tie is still not fixed.

“Having trouble?” a voice asked. Matt turns to see Trixie, wearing a bridesmaid’s dress.

“Hey Trix,” he smiles, “I’m having a difficult time with this tie. I almost wish Rarity just made it a clip on.”

“Let Trixie help.” she walks to him. Her horn glows, and his tie gains a life of its own, beginning the process of getting tied.

“Still doing the third person thing, huh?”

“It comes and goes.”

“Still can’t believe they allowed you to be a bridesmaid.”

“Actually, I’m a Groomsmaid. I’m more your friend, than they are mine.” Trixie chuckles, “You needed an extra pony on your side, anyway.” The knot is done. Trixie stands back to marvel at her work. “Ah, I see that I’m good for something."

“Thanks.” Matt turns and looks at Trixie’s work; he is most pleased. “Wow, very nice.” he looks back at her with a smirk, “So how’s it working out with Shining Armor and Cadance? I heard what you guys did in Las Pegasus.”

“Yeah, we’re not on speaking terms…yet. I see them looking at me sometimes, though. I think they’re coming around.”

The front door opens; Spike, Shining Armor, Big Mac, and Donut Joe all come pouring in, happy as can be that the day has finally arrived.

“Matt! Today's the big…” Shining Armor freezes at the sight of Trixie, “…day.” He gulps in nervousness. The others snicker at his reaction.

“Hey there…Captain.” Trixie trots over to him, seductively so. Matt is barely able to contain his sniggering. “You know…” she whispers, “The Great and Powerful Trixie been waiting to re-do the night we shared together…with your wife.”

“I…um…I….” Shining Armor is sweating profusely, his whole body turning bright red. “I’m going to…have to talk too Cadance…”

“Go ahead.” Trixie breathes out the words. She puts a hoof on this neck, running it across his chest. “Trixie is sure she will say yes.”

“Uhh…I…I GOT TO GO!!!” Shining Armor explodes out of the room, as the rest explode into out of control hysterics, Trixie included.

“You are something else, girl!” Donut Joe says, “You think about being an actress?”

“Trixie has dabbled in it every now and again. Perhaps she is more inclined to do so, now that stripping is out of the question.”

“I don’t know, you probably need something to fall back on…” Big Mac elbows Donut Joe in annoyance. “Argh, what?” Big Mac glares, as if he knows what he’s doing. “Yeah yeah, I know, I’m with Rarity. I wasn’t flirting; I was just complimenting her skills. Don’t be so sensitive all the time, Mac.”

“If acting doesn’t work out, Trixie is still a Magician.” she poofs a small rose out of thin air, placing it onto Matt’s cowboy hat. “If I’m not mistaken, you have a mare to marry.”

Applejack stands in her room at Sweet Apple Acres, staring at her dress in the mirror. It’s everything she imagined it would be. Rarity even put in a veil to fit with her classic hat. There is nothing about the dress that isn’t perfect to her.

The barn next door has been transformed into a makeshift chapel, thanks to the combined efforts of Pinkie, Big Mac, and a few other helping hooves around town. The stage is set for a dream wedding.

However, the bride is currently shaking in her boots.

“Ah can’t breathe.” she says, “I’m so nervous.”

Twilight and the others, including Princess Cadance, stand in the room with her, wearing lovely bridesmaid dresses. The lavender colored bookworm walks over to her cowpony friend, placing a hoof on her back, trying to get her to calm down.

“Just be calm, AJ. You’ll do fine.”

“How can I be calm? I’m getting married today! Oh, sweet Celesita I can’t think straight! What if I mess up the vows? What if I trip and fall? Goodness, I think I forgot mah husband’s name! Oh wait, it’s Matt. Phew.” A pause. It’s not working. “I’m still panickin’!”

Rarity grabs Applejack by the shoulders and shakes her around.

“Snap out of it, Applejack! You need to take a series of breaths, and stop being so panicky! It’s very unladylike!”

“Okay…” she takes a deep breath, “Okay…I’ll try.” Slowly, she breathes in and out, attempting to calm down from her gargantuan panic attack. She averts her eyes to Princess Cadance, somepony who has gone through something like this. “Was it like this on your weddin’ day?”

“Considering that I spent most of it in a dark crystal cave? No.”

Then again…maybe not.

“I mean before that.”

“Well, before that I was a nervous wreck. I couldn’t find the right dress, the catering was all wrong, and…” She sees that what she is saying isn’t helping one bit. “Oops.”

“Alright, alright.” Applejack thinks of something else, “Tell me…what it was like walking down the aisle.”

“That’s easy…” Cadance looks up, having a mini-flashback to that magical moment in time. Her voice becoming more dreamlike, as she talks, “Walking down that aisle was a moment I would never forget. Even after all the craziness of that day, I was still nervous. But then, I looked into Shining Armor’s eyes, and everything just…disappeared. The nervousness, the thoughts of Chrysalis, all I could think about at that point in time was Shining Armor. Just by looking at him, I knew everything was going to be alright, and that I was going to spend the rest of my life with my special somepony.”

Shining Armor bursts into the room; face still bright red, still sweating profusely.

“Cadance! We have to talk!”

“No Shining Armor, we are NOT sleeping with Trixie again!”

“Come oooooooonnnnnnn!!!!!” he begs and whines like a spoiled foal.

“No!”

“Darn it!” he slams the door, galloping off in disappointment.

“How is that goin’ by the way?” Applejack asks her.

“Urgh. Of all the things he ended up remembering about Las Pegasus, it’s what we did with Trixie. I can’t believe you allowed her to be on Matt’s side of the altar, after what he told you about her.”

“Aw, don’t be like that, Cadance. They’re friends.”

“Friends don’t give each other lap dances.”

“Shoot, Cadance, it was all in good fun.” Applejack chuckles, “She was just doin’ her job, and it didn’t mean nothin’. Besides, he needed an extra pony on his side.”

“Really AJ,” Cadance shakes her head, “you’re far too trusting.”

“You just don’t know Matt as well as I do.” Applejack turns back to the mirror, inspecting the dress. Still perfect. “How do I look, girls?”

They all look at her, calculating their thoughts into one definite opinion.

“You look ready.” Twilight concludes. The rest nod in agreement.

“Okay…let’s do this. The guest will be arrivin' soon, so we better get to it.”

Princess Celesita paces through her study, working on some kind of mysertious project, hidden away in a small metal box. She has been working on this for the past couple of months; a wedding present for the bride and groom. The door opens, and Luna walks in, impatient with her sister’s busywork.

“Dear Sister.” Luna says sternly, “We are going to be late for the wedding.”

“I’m sorry , Luna. But I want to have this done before we leave.”

“It’s going to have to wait. The wedding is going to start in an hour.”

Celestia sighs with frustration. Even with all the time she has spent on this gift, it wasn’t going to be ready in time. She closes up the box, disappointed with herself.

“Okay Sister, we can go.”

The two royal sister walk to the courtyard, wearing the best southern attire they can muster. They knew exactly what kind of wedding they were getting into, and the usual royal jewels and crowns weren’t going to cut it.

Before they could step into their chariot, and odd wind blows past them.It feels like a storm is coming…

“Strange…” Luna remarked, “A storm had not been scheduled for today.”

“You’re right. It’s supposed to be next week. What in Equestria is…”

A THUNDERCRACK nearly deafens their ears, as a lightning strike pierces Canterlot Castle like it was made of paper! The Princesses eyes widen as they see massive black clouds looming over the castle. An all too familiar feel rushes over the both of them.

“Luna! Get the unicorn guards! Make a protective bubble over the castle!”

Luna nods, taking off back inside. Celestia looks back up at the ominous cloud.

“So…you have returned…”

The clouds expand; making their way over to Sweet Apple Acres. The skies are darkening, and everypony in the vicinity has taken notice. Applejack and the others scurry outside, as the winds pick up. Their dresses flowing aimlessly at the strong breeze.

“What in the hay is goin’ on?” Applejack wonders.

“There’s not supposed to be a storm today!” Rainbow Dash says, “I would know!”

The clouds rumble, a sinister noise protrudes from them. It sounds like…laughter...very evil laughter.

“Whatever this is…I don’t like.” exclaims Pinkie Pie.

“So….” a scary, but familiar voice says, “I have found you…good.”

SMASH! The center of the storm builds, and zooms right onto the ground, creating a small crater in its wake. The ponies stand back in shock and fright at this diabolical evil. Slowly, the smoke and fog from the impact dissipates, and the ponies can make out a lone figure in the center of the crater. He is dark grey, wearing silver armor, green eyes, a black flowing mane, and a red horn.

Their eyes go wide…they know who stands before them; somepony who should have been destroyed long ago.

“King Sombra?!” Cadance yells in surprise, “We destroyed you!”

The King laughs at her incorrect assessment. Lightning strikes behind him, silhouetting his threatening dark figure, lighting his dark green eyes. He looks at his prey like a predator, licking his chops, savoring the meal to come. He has waited for this day for years, and now it has finally come; the day where he takes his vengeance upon those who tried to destroy him.

“Ha!” the King guffaws, “Did you really think blowing me to bits was going to stop me?! You have failed to understand; as long as a part of me remains, I will always be around!” he taps his horn, “This is what you missed, my dear, and now you will pay for your stupidity.”

“No!” Twilight intervenes, “We stopped you before, we can do it again, right girls?!” They nod, positioning themselves for battle.

Sombra find this sight amusing. He doesn’t know whether to attack now, or laugh at them…and then attack.

“So be it…” he growls. The latter it is.

He explodes in a cloud of darkness, rapidly sweeping past the ponies like they were only a minor inconvenience. One by one, he knocks them down; they are powerless against him, even with their combined strength. Applejack is thrown into a tree, Pinkie into a wagon, Fluttershy into Rarity, and so on. It’s not a battle, it’s an unmerciful beatdown, and Sombra is reveling in it.

Cadance charges, but it is no use. He engulfs her in his cloud, and in a quick flash of light, throws her to the ground, black crystals covering her horn. She attempts to deliver a power blast of magic, but all that comes out is an ineffective spurt. Sombra stands over her, victorious, and about the reap the fruits of his labor.

“As you can see, my Princess; my powers have gotten stronger since we last met. I may not be able to penetrate your crystal kingdom yet, but since you are here, I can indulge myself with some sweet sweet vengeance!”

“RAHHH!!!!” a voice calls out behind Sombra. It’s Shining Armor! He tackles the King down, pummeling him with his hooves. “Get away from my wife!” He appears to be winning, but appearances can be deceiving.

A smoke trail wraps around Shining Armor’s neck, pulling him away from Sombra, who can only laugh at the Captain’s feeble attempts to save his wife.

“FOOL!” he roars. Shining Armor is raised into the air, and slammed multiple times into the ground, dropping him on the final slam. He struggles to get back up, but the pain overtakes him. He falls over, knocked out cold. “That was only a mild irritation…at best.”

“Shining Armor!” both Cadance at Twilight yell. Sombra shoots an evil look at them.

“Did you seriously think he was going to stop me? After all we’ve been through, my dear, I hoped you would have gotten much smarter. Now…where was I?” he taps a hoof to his chin, until he remembers, “Oh yes, I was about to kill you, wasn’t I?” Cadance tries to crawl away, but Somber slams a hoof down on her. She yelps in pain. “Stop squirming Princess! This will only hurt for a second. Actually…it will hurt for a FEW seconds.”

She closes her eyes, waiting for the moment. A moment…that is stopped at the last possible second.

Sombra wanted a lot of things during his existence of a life. Power, crystals, the death of his enemies, ruling an entire world under his silver sheathed hoof, the standard things an evil being such as himself would want. The one thing he never wanted out of life, aside from being defeated, was a wooden chair to the face, but that’s what he got.

SMACK! Sombra is hit on the side of his face! He falls down hard, grunting in pain and annoyance at this new development. He looks to see his assailant, and it’s none other than Matt, now holding a shattered chair in this hands.

“What the?” Sombra stares at him with confusion, but also curiosity, “And who are you?”

“The name’s Matt, and you just ruined my wedding day.”

Applejack and the others gradually regain consciousness, watching the action through their blurred eyes.

“Matt…” Applejack groans, “Don’t…fight him…” He cannot hear her pleas.

Donut Joe, Big Mac, Spike, and Trixie arrive at the scene, looking over the damage the King has caused.

“Tend to the others.” Matt tells him, “I’m going to have a word with The Horse in Black here.”

Sombra doesn’t have much time to react to this creature giving out orders. In all his years in Equestria, he has never seen a being such as Matt before. The others go to their respective companions/siblings/other, helping them out. The King stands, staring down his attacker. He examines nearly every inch of him, watching his stance and movements. He is almost repulsed by his appearance, but the other side of him remains interested in what this...thing is.

“And what, pray tell, is a Matt?” the King snarls out the question with disdain.

“I’m a human. The only one here. So you’re forgiven if you haven’t seen anything like me before.”

“You hit me. Do you not fear me?”

“Actually, I’m more pissed off than anything. So, what’s going to be, giant smoke monster? You going to leave, or am I going to have to get another chair?”

“Heh” Sombra chuckles at this man's bravery, “You are truly an interesting one. I think I’ll have fun killing you.”

Matt charges at the King with all his might! A burst of black cloud shoots out of the King’s side, and grabs Matt like a clenched hand. He cannot move, the grip is too tight; he can barely even breathe. Sombra floats over to him, looking over every inch of him, watching him squirm like a mouse being squeezed by a snake. He laughs with delight.

“You do not show fear, but I bet you hide it well, Human. What is it, are you truly afraid of?” his eyes glow a bright green, as a beam shoots into Matt’s forehead. His eyes become green, as he pauses, frozen by time.

Within the depths of Matt’s mind, he stands alone in a white void. All that is around him is utter brightness. He is still wearing his normal clothes, but everything about where he is, is off.

“Where am I?”

“We’re in your mind.” Sombra materializes besides him. “Do not worry, I cannot physically hurt you here. Outside is a different story.”

“What are you doing to me?”

“I’m here to find what you fear most.”

“Get…out of my head!” Matt violently shakes his head around, but Sombra refuses to leave his mind.

“No. This is always the fun part.”

A scene appears in an instant, showing Applejack, sitting in the middle of a field, beckoning Matt to come over to her. The King looks over at Matt’s smiling face; the truth clicking in his mind. Sombra chortles in response to this romantic setting.

“Oh my, how precious. The human has fallen for a pony. Tell me, is this the mare that you are marrying?” he laughs some more. “She looks much better in the tree I threw her in.”

Matt runs at him, but he goes right through him.

“Hold on now, I’m not finished yet. Go to her. I bet she wants to tell you something.”

Matt glares at Sombra, but there is nothing he can do; not in his mind. He cautiously walks up to Applejack, a smirk on his face as he approached. It all feels so real to him. The breeze in his hair, the smell of the grass. It's almost like he's really there, and Applejack is really standing right in front of him. Soon, her look of love turns into a look of hatred, as she pushes him away from her.

“Get away from me!” she yells.

“AJ? What’s the matter?”

“Get it through your thick skull! Ah never loved you! Ya can just go on home, and leave me alone!”

“AJ! You don’t mean that!” Tears well up in his eyes.

“Of course ah do! Who would love a horrible being such as yourself?! Ah was only doing it out of pity! I can’t take it anymore!”

“Applejack!” he calls to her, but it’s no use. She runs off, leaving him alone. “Applejack!”

He goes to his friends, one by one, they turn their backs on him. A state of panic overwhelms him. The feeling of being alone overtakes his mind. The white scene that was there before, is now consumed by darkness. The dark shadow of Princess Celestia looms over him with malevolent intentions.

“Celestia! What’s happening?”

“We do not find you useful anymore, Matt. We are sending you back.”

“No! I don’t want to go back!”

“That is not for you to decide.” Celesita’s horn glows, ready to send Matt back home.

“Celestia! Please! I’ll do anything! Don’t send me back, I beg you!”

“It is done.”

“NOOOO!” A bright flash of light takes over his vision.

Back outside of Matt’s head, Sombra is laughing in hysterics, watching tears flow from Matt’s eyes, as the vision affects his emotions.

“This is just too funny!” he screams in amusement, “On the outside, he acts all big and tough, but he’s just a sad little foal on the inside, afraid of being alone! How utterly predictable! It disgusts me! No matter, his death will be quick, so I can end his insufferable misery.” He bares his fangs, ready for a strike.

“Matt! NO!” Applejack cries out to him.

Somehow, Matt can hear her cries through the void of sadness that he is experiencing. He fights the vision that lies before him, snapping out of it. Sombra is interested to see how far he will go before giving up. But that moment isn’t going to come. Suddenly, the green glow on Matt’s eyes completely disappears, revealing two angry eyes.

“Curious…” Sombra says.

POW! Matt socks Sombra in the jaw, hurting him. Before he can give out another, Sombra grabs him by the arm, lifting him into the air.

“Perhaps I won’t kill you today, human. You are…interesting. However…”

The tendrils of smoke come out of the clouds, finding their way to the ponies on the ground. In a series of snaps, they are all grabbed, and taken to the skies. Matt reaches out for Applejack, as she is being carried away.

“NO! APPLEJACK!”

“MATT!” she screams, as she and her friends are consumed by the black cloud.

“Don’t worry, I won’t kill them…yet. As long as the Princesses give me what I want, I will let them go, no harm, no fowl. If they don’t, heh well...I will take my time killing them. I’ll have my fun, and then I will take their lives slowly and painfully.”

“You harm them, I’ll kill you. Do you hear me you piece of shit?! I WILL KILL YOU!!!”

The rage in Matt’s eyes makes the King giddy in anticipation.

“Oooohhh, I just cannot wait to see you again. Ta-ta.”

He raises Matt in the air even higher, and in a quick and abrupt motion, throws him into the barn! He crashes through, landing in a pile of hay, but it’s not enough to prevent him from falling into unconsciousness.

“Apple…jack….” was all he could say, before blacking out.

An hour passes, the storm continues to be as strong as ever. Before more time could be wasted, a familiar figure lands on the ground. Her holed hooves scratch at the surface of the crater Sombra made. She sniffs the ground, sensing his presence.

Queen Chrysalis knows of this King.

“There’s a strong essence of magic in the ground. He must have landed here…but why?” she looks to her loyal subjects, “Search the area, find anypony still alive.” They nod, and search the premises. “Why did you come here, Sombra?”

“My Queen!” a Changeling calls out from inside the barn, “We found someone!”

“Someone?” Chrysalis rushes inside, noticing the place has been decoration to be some kind of wedding chapel. That question would have to wait, as she spots the writhing body of Matt on the pile of hay. “Matt?” she says; it has been awhile since their meeting months ago.

She kneels down, and presses on his shoulder. His eyes snap open, groaning in pain, holding onto his shoulder. He looks to the Queen, and instantly recognizes her.

“Chrysalis? What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Matt gets up, an extra struggle for him, due to the pain in his arm. Chrysalis takes notice.

“Are you injured?”

“I think my arm is dislocated, I need…” he is interrupted by the sudden magic from Chrysalis’ horn. His arm is lifted and with a quick POP, he is better…ish. He holds his shoulder for a very different reason now. “OWWWW!!!!” he shouts, “A little warning next time, okay Chrysalis?”

“No time for warnings; what happened here?”

“I don’t know. Some smoke stallion came out of the skies. He took…” his memory comes back. “Applejack!” He runs past the Queen looking to the skies, remembering what had happened to her and the others. Looking on the ground, he spots her veiled hat. It must have fallen off of her when she was being taken away.

"The stallion you speak of is King Sombra. He is a dark and powerful warlord."

He kneels down, picking up the hat, holding gently, turning it over to see a lock of Applejacks hair inside. He picks it out, staring at it.

"Where did he take them?" Matt asks.

"I do not know. We only just arrived."

He stares at the locks with sadness, and then...anger. Quickly, he folds the hat in half and puts it in his back pocket, turning back to the Queen.

“We have to go to the Princesses.”

“What? We?” Chrysalis steps back, “No no no, the Princesses and I didn’t leave off on the best circumstances.”

“You have to take me to them. You can fly! We’ll be there before you know it.”

“If you think I’m going to let you ride me…”

“Call it payback.”

“This is different! And don’t mention that in front of my subjects…” They look over to see the Changelings snickering with amusement.

“Look, this smoke guy took my friends…and my wife. I have to know if there’s some way to save them, please!” His eyes tear at the thought of losing his friends, but most of all, the thought of losing Applejack.

Chrysalis rolls her eyes. As heartless as Changelings seem to be, they are anything but.

“Sometimes, I hate having emotions…but you’re still not going to ride me. Subjects!” the Changelings stand at attention. “Take the human. We’re going to Canterlot.”

In a matter of minutes, the Changelings, with Matt being carried by their teeth, arrive outside of the magical bubble surrounding Canterlot Castle. Chrysalis commands her army to stand back, which they do so with no arguments. They let go of Matt, leaving a couple garish holes in his suit. He’s not too happy about that, but there are more important things at stake than the condition of his attire.

The Queen and the human walk towards the bubble, neither knowing what to expect.

“So, who is the lucky mare?”

“Applejack.”

“Applejack? Huh. Never knew cowponies were your thing.”

“Neither did I.”

“HALT!!!” a Guard from the inside of the bubble shouts, “What are you doing here, Changeling?”

“We are here to see the Princesses. Let us pass.”

“Like Tartarus I will! Go back to where you came from, beast!”

“Oh come now….” she leans down, batting her eyelashes at the Guard, “Certainly there is something I can do to let you open that bubble just a teensy weensy little bit.”

Before anything could come of her attempts at seducing the now sweating Guard, Princess Celestia and Luna land in front of Chrysalis and Matt. The two Princesses look at them both, surprised to see one, but not the other.

“Queen Chrysalis…” Celestia smirks, “I wondered when you would show your face again. Were you trying to seduce my guard, again?”

“Yeah, and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for your meddling self.”

“Let them in.” Celestia commands.

“B-But, Princess!”

“Now.”

A section of the bubble opens, allowing passage for Matt and Chrysalis. The Queen continues to have a stare-down with Celestia, years of history running through their thoughts.

“If we didn’t share a common foe, I would have you locked away in the dungeon.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you Celestia? Seeing me tied in chains, you’d be able to come visit me every day. Just like old times.”

Matt looks back and forth between the Princess and the Queen. He’s trying to figure out whether they are going to fight, or make out. He shakes his head rapidly, effectively taking any thoughts from his head.

“Okay! Stop!” he shouts. The two are broken from their stare down, and look down at the yelling human. “This is all very interesting, but can you please tell me what is out there?!”

“Yes, of course.” Celestia looks back at Chrysalis, “We’ll talk about this later.”

“I’m sure we will.”

“Follow me.”

They are led into the throne room of the castle. Of all the rooms Matt has been to, this was the most beautiful. It was a massive place, with glass murals of the ponies taking on the evils of the world. He was so caught up with the design and architecture, he almost missed out on Celestia’s little story time.

“Chrysalis is already aware of King Sombra, but you deserve to know about him as well, Matt.”

“Stallion made of pure evil, right?”

“Yes. He was a unicorn with a heart as black as night. He attempted to rule over the Crystal Empire, but he was overpowered, and banished to the icy north. Unfortunately, he put a curse on the empire, sealing it from pony eyes for a thousand years. The empire eventually returned, but so did he. With the help of Cadance, along with Twilight and her friends, Sombra was destroyed, never to be seen again…or so we thought.” Celestia looks up at the mural.

Matt looks up and notices at the center of the mural, is spike, holding up a crystal heart.

“Why is Spike on there?”

“He helped out too.” Celestia brushes that fact over, "However, a piece of him must have survived in the blast, and he has returned. What happened out there, Matt?"

"He ambushed Twilight and the others. I tried to stop him, but...he was strong. Like he could control the dark clouds that surrounded him; able to make it take physical form."

"Then he has regained his powers." Chrysalis concludes.

"He knocked out Shining Armor, and disabled Cadance's powers. He went through everypony like they were nothing. I hadn't seen anything like it in all my time here!"

"We hoped that you never would." said Celestia, "What did he say to you, when you encountered him?

“He told me that he will return our friends, if you give him what he wants."

Celestia pauses; she has a good idea of what Sombra wants. She hides her true emotion of terror on her face.

"What was he talking about?”

“I wish I knew…” she lies.

“OH…I believe you do, Princess!” Sombra’s voice echoes through the room.

Suddenly, the beautiful murals shatter into millions of pieces, everypony dodging the shards, as the black smoke pours inside the room. Everypony and Matt stand back, avoiding stepping on any rogue shards of painted glass. The smoke billows about the room, flowing every which way, before forming into the center, where is slowly transforms into the physical being that is Sombra. Once his physical form his complete, he looks upon the mixed emotions of fright and anger from the ponies and man that are looking at him. The evil King smiles with glee, the light reflecting on his perfectly chiseled fangs.

“You really need better security. Your guards were so easy to dispatch, your shield so simple to destroy. Frankly, Princess. I’m insulted that you think so low of me.”

“Sombra.” Luna glares at him with hatred.

“Luna? Is that you?” he can hardly recognize her, “My goodness, look at you. You have truly grown into a fine young mare. As young as 2000 years can be. Perhaps when this is all over, you can be my personal mistress."

"I would never join you." she shoots him an angered look.

"There are ways to make you join me, I can assure you." he chuckles, turning his attention to Matt. “Ah! You're up and about already? Fascinating, you are a resilient one. I never doubt my instincts. By the way, your bride wouldn’t stop calling your name, as I locked her away in my cell! You should have seen her, it was positively precious.”

Matt is about to step forward for another fight, but Chrysalis pushes him back. Sombra is surprised by the Queen’s behavior.

“Ah, my darling Queen Chrysalis, just tell me what are you doing? Do you actually care for this creature?”

“No. You’re just not worth the punch.”

“But...I think you do." he sees the Queen keep her straight face. He can see right through her cold exterior. "What happened to the Queen that I knew? The one that wanted to enslave all of Equestria? The one with all the fire in her heart?”

“This world will be mine…in time. But you will not be allowed in it.”

Sombra becomes smoke yet again, flying fast to Chrysalis, getting uncomfortably close to her face. The others are pushed back by Sombra’s force. Sombra opens his mouth, letting out a subdued growl, breathing hard on her neck, baring a terrifying smile. He can see the sweat dripping down her face. He scoffs in disappointment at her reaction to him.

“I don’t believe you, my Queen. You were strong, uncompromising, and tantalizingly beautiful. Now you have gotten soft…weak…that weakness really makes me so…agitated.” he growls the last word in her ear, “Tell me, why the change of heart?"

"What do you mean? My heart has not changed course. I will take over this kingd..."

"YOU'RE LYING!" he roars, "You have had many opportunities to take this world down, many blind spots, many openings, but you did not take a single one, your hoof remained held. Back when I once knew you, your army could take down entire cities with a single command, yet here you are, standing before me, pathetic and weak! What is the matter, my Queen? Why are you now so anemic in your desires?”

He watches her eyes closely, looking for any possible movement. It comes, he sees in her reflection Princess Celestia. He gasps in both horror and laughter.

“I don’t believe it! The Changeling Queen has fallen for the Princess!” he laughs in her face, as a tear rolls down her cheek. Celestia looks upon the Queen with a look of shock and surprise.

"Chrysalis?" Celestia says in disbelief.

"Princess..." Chrysalis softly mutters.

With another growl, Sombra, using his smoke, wraps a trail around her neck, squeezing it, choking her.

“I should force the life out of you, for your ineptitude!”

“STOP!” shouts Celestia. "Let her go, Sombra!" His grip gets tighter; any further and he could break her neck. "LET HER GO!!!" Reluctantly, he lets go of her, shooting his attention to the Princess. Chrysalis falls to the floor, gasping for air. Matt goes to her side, helping her.

Sombra glides to Celestia, wrapping his smoky self around her.

“Celestia…Celestia…what am I going to do with you? So pretty…so flawless…so…intoxicating.” he watches the Princess shudder at his words. He puts a hoof onto her hip, caressing it with an eerie amount of affection. “You know, if no one was around, I wouldn’t hesitate to take you here, right now.” his slimy tongue slithers out of his mouth, licking Celestia’s face and neck. "Just think of all the things I can do for you, all the things I can do to you..." She winces, trying not to act weak, but it is not working.

“You’re a monster…” she whispers at him.

"Come now my dear, we are all monsters, when you get right to it. I am merely just one of many in this world, I just happen to have your complete and undivided attention."

“Just tell us why you are here.”

“Ah, yes of course. Where are my manners?” He floats away from the group, landing at a safe distance. “We’re not here to talk about me. Actually…we ARE here to talk about me.” He laughs. “As you well know, I am held off from taking over my true prize; The Crystal Kingdom. No matter how much power I have amassed since my untimely near destruction, I still cannot break that blasted shield. But…I know what can.”

“The Elements of Harmony…” Luna figures it out.

“Very good. Extra points for you.” he grins, “The elements are what I need to break through the barrier. Give them to me, and I will let your precious ponies go.”

"And what do you plan to do, once you have the Elements?" Asks Luna.

"Isn't it obvious? I will break the barrier protecting the Crystal Kingdom, and rule as I once did...with an iron hoof." He looks down at his armored hoof. "Well...silver hoof, but you get the idea."

“You can forget it, Sombra. The elements stay with us.” Celestia stands with defiance.

"You are willing to sacrifice your loyal subjects, for some meaningless pieces of jewelry? I'm sure they would love to hear that."

"They will die, before giving you what you want."

"Princess!" Matt yells to her.

"Silence!" she glares at him.

Sombra looks at the beings before him, about to unleash a storm of rage upon them. But, the King holds back any potential attack. Instead, he lets out a chuckle, before walking towards them at a slow and steady pace, the air of intimidation still running high in his attitude.

“That’s the way it goes, huh? You are as stubborn as you ever were. Fine, be that way. I’ll tell you what will happen if you don’t give them to me. I will take your precious ponies, and I will do things to them that will make your stomach churn. It will be slow, it will be painful, and I will continue to do it, until they beg me for a quick death, which I will gladly give them, after doing it over and over and over again, until there is nothing left but blood and MUSH! And when I am done with them, I will come back here, and do the same to you three at the same time a thousand times over! And once that is over, when you are nothing but a quivering mass, I will take this world for myself, and there is nopony that can stop me!"

He shouts his last words to them, as he stops in his tracks, growling with anger. Everypony stands frozen in fear. He grins an evil grin, pleased at their reactions.

"That is my bargain with you, Princess. It would be wise that you adhere to my demands. You have one hour to think it over. Every hour after that, I will take one of your precious subjects to my chambers...” he looks at Matt, "Starting with your beautiful bride."

"If you even touch her..."

"You'll what? Kill me? Maim me? Empty threats for a weakling such as you. You come to me, and I will give you a glorious death, right in front of your beloved; and then, I'll do as I please with her." he flashes a friendly smile. "Ta-ta."

He dissipates into smoke, and flies off into the stormy skies. The Queen and Princesses stand in fear at his words. Only Matt stands with rage in his eyes. He looks at the others; it is a sight that Matt cannot believe.

“You’re just going to let him say all that?”

“He’s more powerful than we have anticipated." Luna says, her hooves shaking.

"So what? You're the Princesses of Equestria!" he looks at Chrysalis, "And you're the Queen of the Changelings! You are all powerful!"

"This is different. He has somehow amassed enough strength to dispatch Celestia's guards, destroy her shields; this is nothing like we faced before!"

"But isn't this what you guys are prepared for? You fight against the odds, and beat the bad guys!"

"You don't get it, Matt!" Luna yells, "You saw what he can do! There’s nothing that can stop him!”

“No…there is.” Celestia’s eyes become determined. She walks to a doorway, accessed only by her horn. She unlocks the door with her magic, and inside lies a chest, with the symbol for the Elements of Harmony. “Matt…these are the elements.”

She opens the chest, showing all six elements. Five are necklaces, while the last is a crown. They are exquisitely crafted, something that amazes Matt.

“Wow…” he says under his breath, “They’re beautiful.”

“They are…and you will be the one to take them.”

“What?” he is snapped out of his wonderment, and into a state of panic. “Where?”

“To where King Sombra resides.”

“You can’t be serious! You’re going to give in to his demands?!”

“No. You are taking these elements to the ones that can use them. You know of who I speak.”

“Of course I do. So, I should just take the box, to who knows where?”

“No. The elements will guide you to their true users, and you will not be carrying the box…you will wear them.”

“Excuse me?” Matt backs up, “They’re pretty, but I’m not going to wear necklaces and a big crown thingy.”

“I had a feeling you would say that.” she smirks. Her horn glows, taking the elements out of the box, and into the air. "Lucky for you, I thought of a solution." Slowly, they spin around one another, before going faster and faster; Matt can’t even keep up with their speed. With a blinding flash, Matt sees that the elements have been bonded into one necklace, showing the symbols of all six elements on it. “There you are. All six elements, made whole. Once you find your friends, the elements will separate, and only they can defeat King Sombra.”

Matt takes the necklace. He is about to put it on…

“Wait…” she stops him, “Once you put on the necklace, you will experience unnatural power. You will be strong, you will be fast, but make no mistake, though the thought may be tempting, you cannot defeat the King on your own. Twilight and her friends MUST be the ones to deliver the killing blow.”

“No pressure, right?” Matt jokes, “Okay, here goes nothing.” He carefully puts the necklace on, tucking it under his shirt collar. He stands there, waiting for something to happen. Nothing. “Huh, I don’t feel any different.” He stands there for a bit longer, he feels something. “Wait...”

The Princesses and Queen watch him with interest. Surely, he starts to shiver like he is cold, but then he groans, like he’s in pain. He collapses to the ground, eyes shut, clutching his chest, trying to get the necklace off.

“No! Leave it on, Matt!”

“I can’t! It hurts!”

“I know! You have to wait through it!”

“AHHHH!!!” he screams, his chest feels like it’s on fire. “Get it off me!”

“Just a little longer, you’re almost there!”

Matt glows a bright red, the other stand back in amazement. The power is too much for him. He writhes and screams in utter agony. There is not much more he can take. He feels like he can die at any moment. Is this it? Is this how it ends?

“I…I can’t!”

“Breathe Matt! Just breathe!”

The pain is overwhelming, he screams even louder.

"Matt! Think of Applejack!" Celestia calls out.

In an instant, his mind is flooded with memories of his time with Applejack. He thinks back to the day where they first met, where she kicked him in the face, where she comforted him when he was down. The first time he went to her farm, and all the times since then. Their first kiss, the first time they made love, when he proposed. Every single moment he spent with her was a happy memory. The pain inside hime subsides, he no longer screams, he no longer moves. His breaths become normal, the red around him disappears. All he is doing...is laying there...seemlingly motionless.

The Princesses and Queen look at one another, unsure of what to do.

"Matt?" Chrysalis asks.

His eyes snap open, revealing two glowing white eyes. He is still very much alive.

It is time.

Jailbreak

Cold. That’s all Applejack could feel, once she was pulled into the black cloud commanded by King Sombra. Her teeth chattered, her coat, which was her last line of defense for warmth, stood up, everything about where she was…was nothing but freezing cold. There wasn’t much more she could take, the temperatures, along with the feeling of moving at a fast rate of speed, was enough to cause her to black out, not knowing where she would be when she woke up…if she would wake up at all.

She did wake up. No longer did she feel like she was dragged, but the feeling of being frozen stayed with her. A new sensation was there, though. She felt as if she was on a hard concrete floor. With a quick tap of her hoof, she could tell that the floor was made of hard stone. She couldn’t see however, as darkness surrounded her sight.

“Hello?” she calls out, “Is anypony there?” There is no response, but she can hear moving around in the room. “Hello?!”

A groan echos from the darkness, followed by a cough.

“Who’s there?!” Applejack asks.

“Applejack?” the unmistakable voice of Twilight says, “Where are we?”

“Ah don’t know. Ah can’t see a thing. Can you use your horn to light things up?”

“Hold on.” she grunts, trying to cast a simple illumination spell. For a brief second, there was a slight bit of light, but it goes out before they could assess where they were. “What’s going on?” She asks to herself, “This should be easy?”

“Maybe that Sombra put a spell on your horn, like Cadance. Oh my goodness, where’s Cadance? A-and the others?!”

More groans are heard in the room. There are multiple ones this time, but all of them sounded recognizable to the two conscious ponies.

“Who’s here?” Twilight asks to all, “Sound off.”

“Rarity.”

“Fluttershy.”

“Rainbow Dash.”

“Pinkie Pie.”

“Cadance.”

“Trixie.”

Nopony else calls out, only they are present. Twilight and Applejack sigh in relief that at least they are okay.

“Rarity, Trixie, can you use your horns?”

“Let me try…” Rarity responds. Like Twilight, she lets out a series of grunts, and a little bit of magic, before sputtering out with almost nothing. Trixie has the same misfortune. “I can’t do it.”

“Me neither.” Trixie says, “Where are we?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out.” Answered Twilight.

“It’s s-so c-cold in here…” the chattering teeth of Fluttershy can be heard. “My c-coat can b-barely warm m-me up.”

“Let me help…” said Rainbow Dash. A couple hoofsteps later, and a loud CLONK is heard. “Ow! What in the hay?!” She taps a little on the metal in front of her. “Bars...” She taps all around her. “I’m surrounded by bars!”

The others feel around, they can feel the same thing.

“We’re…we’re in a prison?” Pinkie Pie asks.

“Or a dungeon.” said Rarity, “This place feels so grimy.”

“We must be in some kind of fortress.” Cadance takes a guess, “We have to find a way out of here.”

“Let me try.” Applejack says with confidence. “Maybe all these bars need is a little buckin’.” She walks up to one. “Here goes nothing.” She raises her back hooves and CLANG, she bucks them as hard as she could. Her back legs vibrate, and she falls to the floor. “Okay, let me try again.” Another loud CLANG. Another thud on the floor. “Third time’s the charm.” CLANG. THUD. “These bars are more stubborn than ah thought.”

“There has to be some weakness.” Twilight thought, “We just have to…”

Before she could speak any further, a door at the far end opens. The light from the outside illuminates the room they are in. Their guess was correct; they are all in their own cells, in a dirty grimy dungeon. Rats scurry about at the light, crawling into their holes in the walls. In the front of the door farm, stands a stallion, dressed in royal Canterlot garb. Cadance recognizes him immediately.

“It’s Shining Armor!” screams Cadance with excitement. “We’re saved!”

Shining Armor slowly walks in, turning his head to each cell. His eyes fix on Applejack’s cell.

“That goodness you’re here, Shinin’ Armor. You have to…”

Shining Armor runs to Applejack’s cell in a flash, getting right in front of her. His eyes glow green, and he flashes his teeth at her. There’s something definitely wrong with him.

“Silence, whelp!” he roars at her, “Stop making noise! King Sombra would be very displeased to hear of your insolence!”

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash calls out, “Don’t talk to her like that!”

He rushes to her with blinding speed, making her fall back in surprise.

“Shut your mouth, slave!”

“What is wrong with you, Shining?” Cadance askes, “Why have you betrayed us?!”

Shining Armor goes to her cell.

“Sombra showed me your lies and deceit, and I have joined with him!” his eyes glow a fierce green as he talks.

“What has he done to you?”

“I made him into a superior soldier.” a familiar voice calls out from the front. All eyes turn to King Sombra, standing in the doorframe. “It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Every Royal Guard I have in my possession have fallen under my spell, and they are quite loyal to my cause. Shining Armor?”

“Yes, my King?”

“Watch over the other prisoners. Leave me alone with these…mares.”

“Of course, right away.” he gallops past the King, and into the outside.

“I do apologize for my inconsiderate nature…” he says, “I forgot to give you some light and warmth. Allow me.” His horn glows. The fire place in the center bursts on, and candles are lit by every cell, allowing for light. “Much better. I would hate to have you ponies freeze to death, before I had my fun.”

“What have you done to Shining Armor?!” Cadance demands. Sombra laughs as he trots to her cell. “Tell me!”

“I merely took his fears, and used them to my advantage. Did you know his greatest fear was growing old, and dying, while you stayed young and beautiful? Being an alicorn, I can’t imagine how tough it must be. I told him that he didn’t need you; that he could have anypony he wanted, not having to worry about the fear of watching you stand frozen in time, while he shriveled away like bad fruit. You’re of no use to him now. You’re nothing.”

“No!” a tear goes down her cheek, “You’re lying! He would never…”

“LEAVE YOU?!” he growls, “He just did, Princess! Did you see the way he ran out of the room? He doesn’t care about you anymore, he doesn’t even want to look at you! All he sees is a worthless mare, that has zero meaning for him!”

“How dare you?!” Twilight yells to him, “How could you do that to my brother?!”

Somber turns to her, eyebrow raised, shocked at this new development.

“Brother?” he grins, “I didn’t know he was your brother. Funny, you weren’t at all in his thoughts or fears. Perhaps you don’t matter to him.”

“That’s not true.” Twilight rebuffs, “You’re just trying to scare me.”

“Am I? Are you sure about that? I bet deep down, you realize what I’m saying is true. If you need any comfort, I would be more than happy to supply it.”

“Shut up!” Applejack yells, “Get away from her!”

Somber shoots a fiery look at Applejack. He licks his razor sharp teeth, as he goes over to her.

“Ah yes…the beautiful bride. I must commend your husband’s tenacity. I saw him at the Princesses castle, the last time I was there.”

“He’s alive?” a shred of hope remains.

“For now. I doubt he’ll be around for much longer.”

“Ya better not lay a hoof on him.”

“Funny; that’s what he told me, when speaking of you. I wish I could find out what makes him tick. He managed to break out of my spell quite easily. Much more than I can say about poor Cadance’s beau.” he looks at the sniffling Cadance, pride in his smile. “Maybe I’ll see him soon. I told him and the others what I wanted, and if they’re smart, they’ll hold their end of the bargain.”

“Which is what, exactly?”

“All I ask is that they give me the Elements of Harmony, and I’ll let you and your friends go. No harm, no foul.”

“They’ll never give ya what ya want.”

“I doubt you’ll feel the same, once I tell you the alternative.”

“No matter what ya say, they’ll come for us! They’ll save us, and they’ll destroy you!”

“You are so certain that the Princesses will help you? Why? What makes you so special?”

“Nothin’, I’m just a simple farm pony from Ponyville, but ah know that they would never give in to a cowardly puff of smoke like you!”

“You best watch your tongue.” he growls, “I am your King.”

“You are NOT mah King!” she screams back, “There are two rulers of Equestria, and neither of them are YOU!”

Sombra lets out a loud ROAR, expanding into a cloud of black smoke. Applejack steps back in fright, as he materializes in her cell. She backs into a corner, nowhere to run or hide. The others yell from their cells.

“Get away from her!” shouts Rainbow Dash.

“Leave her alone, you big meanie!” yells Pinkie Pie.

“Don’t you dare touch her!” calls Rarity.

The King does not listen to any of them, as he inches closer to the cowering Applejack. He smiles his sinister smile, tongue snaking its way out from his mouth, brushing against the cheek of Applejack.

“Such fire in you…” he whispers in her ear. “You fear me, but you are willing to stand up to me. It’s very…invigorating. If I could, I could take you right here, and all your friends can watch.” He opens his jaws, brushing his teeth against her coat. In an instant, he pulls back, with a smile. “But, a promise is a promise.”

“W-what did you promise?”

“I told them that they have one hour to bring me the Elements of Harmony. If they do not, then I will partake in my indulgences. They have a half hour to go, and the moment they don’t fulfill my bargain, you will be my first.” He gets closer to her again. “And I am so very looking forward to it.”

“NO!” Trixie shouts with defiance. He turns to her. “Take me instead.” All eyes fall on Trixie in surprise and shock. “Leave Applejack out of this.”

“Trixie!” Applejack yells out.

“No, it must be done.”

Sombra floats into her cell. She steps back, but only slightly. He floats around her, inspecting her body. He licks his lips, liking what he sees.

“You are willing to sacrifice yourself for her?”

Trixie gives Applejack a tearful look, before responding, “Yes.”

“Very admirable. It’s been too long since I’ve had a willing subject.” he chuckles, thinking of the possibilities with her. “Very well. If I don’t have what I want, you will be the first.”

“And Applejack will be left alone?”

“….Yes.” he growls. “No harm will come to her. I look forward to our time together. I’ll see you soon.” He turns completely into smoke, flying out of the room, closing the door.

Trixie immediately collapses to the floor, in tears. The others look in her direction. The desperately want to break through the bars and comfort her, but all they can do is watch her cry.

“Trixie…” Twilight softly says.

“I’m alright.” she sniffles, “Don’t worry about me. Just try to find a way out of here.”

“Don’t you worry about a thing, Trixie!” Rainbow Dash assures her, “We’ll bust out of here before that guy comes back! We promise you!”

The others agree with her. Trixie looks at them in wonderment.

“You would help me?”

“Of course we would, silly!” Pinkie Pie smiles, “What are friends for?”

Trixie is caught off guard by what Pinkie says. Friends? Them? After everything that she did to them…

“But…I tried to humiliate all of you! I banished Twilight from Ponyville! I thought you all hated me!”

“Hate is a strong word, Trixie. More like annoyed. Since then, after you redeemed yourself, you were always welcome to Ponyville.”

A tear goes down Trixie’s cheek, but it’s no longer one of sadness, but of joy and hope.

“Thank you.” she says, “I’m grateful for you…all of you.” She looks at Applejack, who is still worried for her safety. “What is wrong?”

“Why?” Applejack asks, “Why did you do that? You didn’t have ta sacrifice yourself for me.”

“I had to…” she look at her with a smirk, “It’s your wedding day.”

“This is not at all how ah imagined mah weddin’ to turn out.”

“Come now, darling.” Rarity chuckles, “I thought all brides dreamed of being kidnapped of their wedding day.”

Applejack chuckles, appreciative of Rarity trying to make light of the situation. Still, her thoughts swirled with what will happen if things go south. She shakes those feelings away, she has to remain strong, she cannot show weakness.

Suddenly, a series of stomps are heard marching towards the door, getting louder with each step. With a powerful kick, the door is swing open, and Sombra and Shining Armor walk through.

“You know what?” Sombra says, “I don’t take requests!” he shoots a killer look at Applejack. “I’m tired of waiting! I’ll take what I want now!”

All ponies in the room fall into a state of panic, running to the front of the cells, yelling at the King to stay away from Applejack.

“No! We had a deal!” Trixie yells the loudest, getting his attention.

“Sorry my dear, I don’t do deals. But don’t you worry your pretty mane…you’ll come next.”

Shining Armor walks to the cage, unlocking it with one of the keys around his neck. Sombra opens the cell, approaching the cowering Applejack with malicious intent. She tries backing away as far as she can, but all that is behind her is more bars. He leans down by her face, sniffing her delectable scent of fresh apples.

“Shining Armor. Stay here. Watch over the girls, make sure they don’t try anything to escape. And…try not to spoil them too much.”

“As you wish, my King.”

Sombra explodes into a massive cloud of smoke, enveloping Applejack, wrapping her in his smoky tendrils. Her zips out of the door at such a fast speed, she didn’t even have time to call out to her friends for help. The moment the door slams shut, everypony cries out her name in horror, tears pouring from their eyes.

“Shut up!” Shining Armor kicks their cages, “Keep it down, or I’ll give you a reason to keep it down!”

“Shining Armor!” Cadance screams to him, “Snap out of it! Please!”

“You shut your mouth! I don’t have to listen to you!” He kicks her cage extra hard. “Now, lay there like the dog you are!”

“This isn’t you, Shining Armor!” Twilight calls to him, “Fight it! I know you can!”

“I said BE QUIET!”

Twilight steps back in fear of her possessed brother.

“This…is a nightmare…
”

The ponies whimper, crying at whatever horrors Applejack will be submitted to. Hope is fading fast for them.

Applejack is carried to Sombra’s chambers. The door swings open, and she is thrown onto his bed. She darts her gaze around his room, looking at all the relics he has amassed over his years of hiding in the shadows. Bits, jewels, crystals, a money grubbers dream. He slams the door, bringing him to her fullest attention. She backs up, trying to get away from him, but is stopped by the headboard of the bed. He snarls at her, baring his teeth, ever so slightly, before going to just a frown.

“Do not worry, my dear. I will not take your body just yet.” he removes his cloak from his neck armor, flinging it onto a rack. “I’m going to tell you something…” He removes the armor from his hooves. “…that not many ponies know.” he removes his chest plate. “I’m going to tell you about myself.”

“Why?” Applejack snaps, “I thought I wasn't special.”

“Though you show fear, I also see courage in your eyes. It has truly been years since a mare has looked at me like that. After I am finished, I will have what I desire from you.”

In her mind, she wants to escape, but she fears that if she tries, he will kill her immediately. She has to let him speak, she could let him have a song and dance routine, if it delays what lurid thought he must have in his mind.

“W-what’s your story?” she asks.

“How much do you know about me?”

“Not much. Only the Princess called you a unicorn with a heart as black as night.”

“That’s what she said about me?” he chortles, “How cute. Did you know that I was once a Captain of her Royal Guard?”

“No. I did not.”

“I was the best. I followed her orders to the letter. My army loved me; to them…I was a King. It became a nickname for me among my most loyal of Guards. I loved my army, but most of all…I loved her.”

“Princess Celestia?”

“Oh yes. I desired her more than any mare in all of Equestria…and I still do. One day, I was sent here, to the icy north, to investigate a series of murders concocted by an evil witch who lived in the mountains. Leading a squad of my best soldiers, I journeyed into the heart of the mountain, prepared to kill this foul beast. But she was powerful; she killed every one on my team, but I was spared.”

“Why?”

“She looked into my eyes. She saw my desire for power, and for the Princess. She offered me the chance to prove my worth, and give me all the power I could ever want. She was…persuasive in her argument. She gave me immortality, the power to bend the clouds and smoke to my very will…but it came at a price.” he turns to her, showing her his chest. There is a black gaping hole in the middle of it. “She took my beating heart.”

Applejack gasps at the fleshy chasm in his chest. It still looks fresh, even though he is over a thousand years old.

“She also gave me another power, one that I’m sure you are aware of. I can take anyponies fears and desires, and turn it against them. I can manipulate the thoughts of others, and make them my slaves. I could build armies in an instant, take over cities in the blink on an eye. But to keep my powers going, to stay alive, only one thing could quench my hunger.” He opens a nearby chest, floating out of it, is a beautiful blue crystal. “Crystals…” He plunges one deep into the hole in his chest. The crystal dissipates, and a blue glow flows through his veins, before going away. He sighs in relief. “That’s why I set my sights on the Crystal Kingdom. They had enough to keep me alive for as long as I wish. Overnight, I took over that kingdom, and I ruled it over, with nopony to stop me. Except…”

“The Princesses.”

“Yes. Celestia…my great love…she was repulsed by me. I was no longer her Captain, I was just…her enemy. Leading her own army, plus her sister, she turned those I controlled back to normal, and those still loyal to me died under her own hooves. The fight was long…brutal. And just when I thought I had them, they banished me to the icy north, where I was frozen for over a thousand years.”

“What happened to the witch?”

“She was long dead when I awoke. If she was still alive, I would have killed her anyway.” He looks into Applejack’s eyes. She realizes that story time has come to a close. She knows what’s coming next. He chuckles in response. “Well…enough about me.” He crawls into bed, looming over her. She sinks down, looking away from him.

“W-wait a sec.” she tries to delay him further. “P-please, don’t do this.”

“I think I’ve talked for quite enough.” “

“No, we can fix this!” she pleads, “You can go to the Princesses, try to figure something out!”

“We are past words, the Princess and I. If I need something from her, I’ll just take it.”

“Sombra, please!”

He slams a hoof down on the headboard, startling her.

“KING Sombra!” he snarls. “I know what you’re trying to do; a misguided attempt to appeal to my better nature. What you’re seeing now…IS my better nature! Now, I’m going to ask the most important question of your life. What is it…do you truly fear?”

His eyes glow a bright green, as a bead of sweat drops down Applejack’s face.

Shining Armor paces through the dungeon, watching each of the ponies with contempt for them. Whenever they would look up, all they would get is an angry glare from him. He passes by Cadance’s cell, looking at her for an extra-long time. As he turned his back…

“Why did you marry me?” Cadance asked.

“What?”

“If you were afraid of growing old, while I stayed young, why did you marry me?”

He turns to her, still looking mighty angry with her.

“I thought it didn’t matter. But we’ve been together for two years now, and I’m not getting any younger. Look at you, so perfect and beautiful. You don’t have to worry about such things.”

“I do worry about such things.”

“Why? You won’t start aging until you’re well past five thousand years!”

“I wasn’t talking about me. I was talking about you. Do you really think that I don’t think about that same problem every day?”

“I…” he pauses, but then goes back to his usual attitude. “You don’t have to worry about it, anymore.”

“Why are you really afraid?” she asks, he turns his back to her. “Shining Armor… you can’t hide from me forever.”

“Because once I’m gone, I’ll be nothing to you!” he shoots a look at her, walking close to her cell. “You’ll find another stallion, and love him, and then another and another, and then I’ll be nothing to you but a distant thought! I want a mare that will grow old, and die with me, not an alicorn that will forget about me after I’m gone!”

“Oh, my sweet Shining Armor…” she reaches out a hoof through the gaps in the bars, touching his face. He recoils at the touch, but she doesn’t give up. Reluctantly, he lets her touch him; she caresses his cheek. “When you leave this world, I will mourn you. I will shed more tears than I can bear. When you die, it will be a long long time before I move to another.”

“But you will move on…”

“Perhaps. There will most likely be other husbands in my lifetime, but no matter what, they will always have the same exact flaw.”

“Which is what?”

“They will not be you.”

Shining Armor freezes in place. For a brief second, his newly cold heart has begun to warm up.

“W-what?” his eyes water. “What did you say?”

“Nopony can ever replace you. Nopony can make me smile as wide as when I’m with you, laugh as hard when I’m with you, or love as much when I’m with you.”

“B-but what about when…”

“That day will come eventually, but that’s why I want to treat each day like it’s my last day with you. I want you to leave this world happy, not sad. I want you to leave with as much love as the day I met you.” She pulls him in, his muzzle going through the bars.

“Cadance…” he says softly, with a tear falling from his eyes.

“You have, and will always be…my special somepony.”

This lips connect. It’s a romantic kiss. As he closes his eyes, the suddenly open back up, the green from them shattering away. He looks at Cadance, and separates himself from the kiss.

“Cadance?!” he backs away.

“Shining Armor?”

“What’s…” he looks around the room; he doesn’t know where he is. “Where am I? What are you doing in a prison cell.” He sees the others looking at him. “What are you ALL doing in prison cells?!”

“We’ve been captured by Sombra!” Twilight says, “He controlled your mind to be his slave.”

“What?!” he looks at the empty cell, then back at the others. “There’s somepony missing. Did Applejack get captured?”

“Yes! Sombra has taken her to his quarters! He plans to do something terrible to her!”

“We have to stop him, quick!” he says, determined. As he walks to the door…

“Shining Armor…” Cadance says, “You have the keys to our cells around your neck.”

“Really?” He looks down at the necklace of keys. “Oh, right…I guess I do.”

Applejack runs through the desolate town of Ponyville, desperately searching for somepony or someone. She darts in all different directions, finding no one in her midst. Then, she sees him…Matt, standing in the center of town. She runs to him, with a relieved smile on her face.

“Matt! Thank goodness you’re here! Where is everypony?!”

“They’re gone AJ…” he speaks in an otherworldly voice. “They’re all gone…just like me.”

“What are ya talking about?”

“I’m leaving. I’m going back home.”

“Okay, take me with you!”

“No. You stay right where you are…where you deserve to be.”

“But…there’s nopony here!”

“Exactly. You deserve to be alone, without friends, or me. You don’t belong with anypony or anyone.”

“Matt…don’t!” she cries. “Please!”

“Goodbye, AJ.” a portal opens up to take him away.

“MATT!”

She gasps for air, breaking out of the vision. Sombra leaps on top of her, pinning her to the bed. He looks at her, enraged and disappointed in what he just saw.

“For shame! I thought you were different, but you’re just the same as he is! Afraid of being alone, abandoned by your friends and family! Why did I ever expect anything different from you?!”

“Let go of me!” she struggles, trying to get him off. It’s not working. “Get off!”

“You’re not worth another moment of my time!” he growls. Viciously, he tears her dress apart, revealing her bare body to him. Only tatters are still clanged to her shoulders.

“Please…stop…” she pleads one more time. “Don’t…we can…”

“What? Work this out? Do you think I want to escape from this? That I am secretly looking for some kind of redemption? I am not your pathetic Princess Luna! I LIVE FOR THIS!”

“No…” she whimpers. There is no saving this stallion, he has become pure evil.

“I’m going to take great pleasure in this! This will not be over quickly, you will not enjoy this, I am not your precious Matt! I’m going to make you beg me for a quick death, and when you do, I’ll tear out your throat, as I continue to have my way with your body!”

He opens his mouth, moving in for a forceful kiss.

A struggle outside. The sounds of magic being fired from the courtyard. Sombra sits up, confused.

“What the…?”

Seizing the opportunity, Applejack bucks Sombra off her, sending him crashing into a pile of his crystals. As he shakes off the sudden hit, Applejack finds a nearby window. She takes a flying leap, breaking through the glass, with a couple cuts in the process. Sombra lets out a powerful roar of rage, and gives chase.

Applejack runs with all her will, as Sombra becomes a massive wall of smoke, chasing after her. She makes it to the courtyard, where Shining Armor and the others are fighting off a wave of brainwashed minions. Only Shining Armor is using his magic, while the other have resorted to melee combat. They spot the galloping Applejack, happy to see her.

“Look! There she is!” Pinkie shouts. Not too far behind their friend, is Sombra. “Oh, there he is, too!”

Shining Armor blasts away the rest of the opposition, knocking them out.

“Applejack! Behind me!” He commands.

“Glad to see ya back, Shinin’ Armor.” she smirks, as she rejoins her friends.

“Glad to be back.” he returns the grin. “Did he hurt you?”

“No. I found an opening to escape.”

“Impossible…” The black glow forms the giant confused face of Sombra. “How did you break from my spell?”

“Something that you can never have, Sombra!” Shining Armor fires back. “This ends now!” He charges at the cloud, his horn powered to maximum strength. He blasts a powerful wave of magic at the king. Sombra is pushed back, but just a little bit.

“Pathetic!” he rushes Shining Armor. Before he can let off another blast, he in engulfed by Sombra.

“Shining Armor!” Cadance cries out.

After a few seconds, Shining Armor is thrown back out onto the ground. His horn has been crystallized, and he is unconscious and bleeding from a brutal beating that he took while he was in the cloud. Cadance looks up with enraged eyes, but there is nothing she can do to stop Sombra. He maniacally laughs, as he forms back into his physical self.

“You poor, simple minded fools. Was he your ace in the hole? If that was your best shot at getting out of here, you are sorely mistaken.” The clock tower in the fortress rings. He listens to the sound like the heavens broke the skies. He’s in absolute nirvana. “Ah, looks like your time is up.” He explodes back into his massive smoke formation. “Looks like nopony will be coming to save you!” he flies at them.

“Matt…” Applejack whispers, “If you’re out there, we could use some help.”

Like a prayer being answered, something SLAMS into the center of the courtyard, between the nine ponies, and the Sombra cloud. Both parties looking at the smoke clearing in the center. Slowly, they see a large crater has been formed by the impact, then, someone kneeling in the center, wearing a slightly ruined country suit made for a wedding.

It’s Matt!

The ponies eyes widen. Shining Armor regains consciousness.

“Huh? What’s going on?” he mumbles.

“You have got to be joking.” Sombra growls.

The groom stands up, cracking his shoulders, shaking his legs from the impact. He brings his head up, and opens his eyes, revealing two white glowing eyes, brimming with power. Sombra looks at him with anger, but also a strange sense of curiosity.

Matt has only one thing to say. He smiles a small smile, ready to deliver the beat down of a lifetime.

“Hi.”

Into The Fray

Matt Williams, a man who had few ambitions in life, worked at a job he didn’t fully enjoy, and lived in a fine apartment complex in New York City, now stands between nine talking free thinking equine friends from a world he never thought existed, and a giant cloud of smoke, who has threatened to destroy his new home and life. One would be forgiven in thinking that this particular individual would be wondering what he exactly did to get to this point in his twenty four years of existence, and one would be right.

“Has it really come down to this?” He thought to himself, as he continued to stare down the irritated King Sombra, “Almost a year ago, you were a sales clerk at a video game store; now here you are. Jacked up on some super necklace, fighting a puff of smoke to save your pony wife.” He grimaces, “Sounds kind of silly when you think about it, huh?”

“Are you just going to stand there?!” Sombra growls, snapping Matt from his thoughts.

“Shit…he’s talking.” he thinks, “Remember why you’re here…you’re here to beat his ass into the ground.”

“The hour has passed. What have the Princesses decided?”

“They aren’t going to give you the elements, Sombra.” Matt says with his best tough guy voice, “However, I came here to give you something else.”

“Oh really? What’s that?”

“A beatdown.”

“HA!” Sombra laughs demonically, “You’re funny, human. You think your glowing eyes and dramatic entrance is going to scare me?! You’ve only come here, so that I may grant you the death that you deserve!”

“Well, come on then…” Matt gets into a fighting stance, stretching out his left palm, gesturing him to come over and fight. He saw this stance in a movie once and always wanted to do it. “Hit me.”

Sombra forms back into his physical self. He smirks in amusement at the audacity of this human’s confidence. There’s no way he could win this fight, even if he had suddenly managed to get stronger since their last encounter.

“You guys might want to stand back.” Matt talks to the other ponies behind him.

“Matt…what has happened to you?” Applejack asks him.

“In a minute, AJ.” he winks, “I’ll be right with you.”

“No…” Sombra’s voice rumbles, “He won’t.” he watches Matt turn his gaze back to him. “Enjoy your last moments here, Human.”

The King rockets towards Matt at unbelievable speed, bellowing a massive battle cry as he gets closer and closer to his target.

“Here goes nothing…” Matt whispers to himself.

Applejack tries to get to him, but is pulled back by the others for her safety. She reaches out for him, tears flowing from her face, scared what is going to happen.

Matt braces for impact, placing his hands in front of him, looking for just the right angle for what he has planned. Sombra is close now, and Matt has him right where he wants him.

The King puts his head down, ready to impale the human with his horn, grinning at the impending bloodshed. He reaches his target, but something happens…something the King did not expect to happen in the slightest.

Matt has grabbed his head and horn upon impact. He is pushed backwards by Sombra, his feet digging into the stone floor, turning it into gravel at each push, but his grip on Sombra has not been lessened. The two come to a stop; the King is confused by the lack of blood that has been drawn from his attack. He feels Matt’s hand gripping his horn, and the other underneath his muzzle. He looks up at the human, who gives him a knowing smile.

“Huh, that turned out better than I expected.” Matt says with pleasant surprise.

With his newly acquired strength, he lifts Sombra into the air like he was nothing! The King flails his hooves helplessly into the air, trying to break free of Matt’s grip. All of a sudden, Matt SLAMS Sombra into the ground! Then, he does it again…and again…and again…and again…and one more for good measure. He drags the King across the ground, spins him around, and throws him into a stone wall, destroying it in one powerful hit! The wall crumbles onto the body of Sombra, as Matt claps his hands together in victory.

The others look upon this sight, jaws understandably hitting the floor. The first to compose herself is Applejack. She breaks free from the grip of her friends, and gallops to her husband. He sees her coming, leans down and opens his arms for an embrace. They collide, and she hugs him tightly.

“Matt!” she says with all the happiness she could give out, “You’re okay!”

“Of course I am…” He holds her gently. He looks at her torn dress, with worry. “Your dress…did he?”

“No. I got away before he could.” She reaches out a hoof, caressing his face. “Your eyes…what happened?” Matt grabs his shirt collar, pulling it down to reveal the Elements of Harmony necklace. Her eyes widen. “The Elements?”

“Celestia said that they would guide me to you. I guess she was right.” he smirks. He reaches into his back pocket, pulling out her hat. He places it on her head. "You dropped this back at the farm. Thought you might need it."

"Thank you."

The rubble of the collapsed wall moves. Sombra is far from being defeated, and it will not be easy to bring him down. The rage grows in his eyes at the fact that a mere human had taken him by surprise. Matt tucks the necklace back in, turning to watch the King rise from his humiliation. A look of determination befalls his face; he knows what he has to do.

“How many other ponies are here?” he asks Applejack.

“Ah don’t know, there could be hundreds.”

Matt shuts his eyes tightly; finding his impending request difficult to say.

“Go with the others…” he can see her already resorting to panic, holding on to him for dear life. “Applejack, listen to me. Go with the others, and free those who have been captured.”

“What are ya going to do?”

He looks back at the recovering Sombra, before answering, “I’m going to fight him.”

“No!” Applejack yells, “No! You can’t!”

“I’m going to hold him off as long as I can. When he is weakened, I will give the elements to you and the others.”

“Please, don’t do this!”

“This is the only way you won’t get hurt! He won’t fight back, if he’s down!”

“He’s stronger than you think! He could kill you!”

“I have the Elements, remember? He can’t hurt me as long as I wear them.”

“But, what if he can?”

“Applejack…I almost lost you once. I’m not going to let that happen again.”

“And ah don’t want to lose you EVER!” she sobs, “Please Matt…don’t go.” she cries in his arms, refusing to let him go. Gently, he raises up her head, looking deep into her eyes. He gives her a small smile, before leaning in for a soft yet passionate kiss. She closes her eyes, treating the kiss like it’s her last act in this world. After precious seconds have passed, he separates himself from her, standing up, but never breaking eye contact.

“I’m not going anywhere.” he assures her.

Sombra has completely risen from the rubble. He glares at Matt with extreme hatred and anger.

“MATT!” he roars, smoke billowing from his mane. “WE’RE NOT FINISHED HERE!!!”

Matt doesn’t pay attention, still staring at Applejack.

“Go.” he whispers to her. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Applejack looks at him, wanting to say anything to get him to not fight, but it would have been futile. She can see in his eyes the willingness to give his very life for her. Nopony has ever looked at her the same way he has looked at her at this very moment. This frightens her, but she also understands. She backs away from him slowly, going to the group that is waiting for her.

“You better be…” she says, turning around, and going back to her friends.

Matt watches as she tells them the plan to save the others that have been captured. The nod their heads and they take off running. Everypony leaves Matt’s sight…except for Applejack. She turns back to give Matt one last loving look, which he returns with one of his own. After a few seconds, she turns back, making the hardest decision she has ever made; leaving him behind.

Now, he sets his sights on Sombra, who has been impatiently waiting for him to continue the fight. The King has grown a few sizes, forming into a larger, more muscular version of himself. Matt cracks his neck and knuckles, preparing himself for what is about to happen.

“You’re letting them go?” Sombra asks.

“Try to get to them, and I will stop you.”

“They mean nothing to me. My guards will take care of them.”

"I doubt that. You underestimate them too much."

"I estimate them just fine. It's you that has surprised me. But, don't mistake that for admiration."

“The thought never crossed my mind." Matt smirks, "So, it’s just me and you now.” Matt looks around, seeing nopony in sight. “What do you think is going to happen?”

“You know exactly what’s going to happen. Don’t try to change what is inevitable, human. I’m the one that beats you.”

Sombra kneels into a charging stance. Matt sighs, preparing himself for the fight of not only his life, but the fight of everypony on this planet.

“Once more into the fray…” he says, “Into the last good fight I’ll ever know.” Sombra cranks his head, confused. “Live and die on this day. Live…and die…on this day.”

“What are you babbling on about?”

Matt smirks, the jokey personality that he displayed when fighting Sombra is back.

“Just something I always wanted to say…before I beat the shit out of somebody.”

Sombra snarls at the human’s comment. Without another moment of hesitation, he charges Matt once again. Instead of waiting for another slam down, Matt takes off running as well. The two lock eyes, running head on towards each other.

This was it. The moment has come for him to step to the plate. Months ago, he was just an somewhat ordinary man, now, he is someone ready to lay everything down to save a species he has come to love…no matter the cost.

The two collide with one another with such force, a powerful shockwave emanates from the impact, wrecking the ground beneath their feet and hooves.

Brawl. They throw everything they have at one another. Punches, kicks, haymakers, slams, chokeholds, head-butts, they bring it all. All hits connect, but neither one yields. Matt uppercuts Sombra, sending him flying into the air. Matt jumps up, soaring past the flying King, who is unaware that Matt is in the skies with him. Sombra opens his eyes, to see Matt falling straight at him. The King is grabbed by the face, and the two free-fall to the ground below, smashing into it with enough force to create a secondary crater. Matt proceeds to slam Sombra’s head into the rubble multiple times, but the King turns with a strong punch to Matt’s face, causing him to fall backwards.

Sombra gets on top of Matt, and punches his face with all his might. Though the punches connect, Matt’s face is barely getting scratched.

“Why won’t you fall?!” Sombra asks him with contempt.

“Because…I’m not done with you yet!”

Matt reaches up, grabbing Sombra by the neck. He gets up, and drags the King across the ground, wrecking it even further, before SLAMMING Sombra into a wall, and punching him over and over and over again. The King laughs in amusement, spitting out a handful of black blood from his mouth.

“It’s been a long time…since I had a fight as good as this one.” he admits, “I am impressed. But don’t think I’m going to admit defeat, human. I will kill you.”

“Until then…” he punches Sombra hard in the face once more, and then throws him to the ground. “I’m going to keep fighting you.”

Shining Armor and the others run through the fortress, looking for any prisoners. More possessed Royal Guards attack, but they are quickly dispatched by the combined efforts of the nine ponies. Though he is prevented from using magic, Shining Armor makes up for it with his strength. They head for the facility marked ‘Prison’.

“Over here!” Shining Armor yells, “That’s where they must be keeping the others!”

Shining Armor opens the door…

Where he is immediately knocked down! The others turn to the assailant; out of the shadows steps out a possessed Big Mac.

“No!” Twilight yells, “Big Mac! Snap out of it!”

Big Mac looks at Twilight and her pleading eyes.

“Eeeenope.” he says with a sinister tone.

“We have to knock him out! It’s the only way!” Shining Armor stands, tackling Big Mac head on. As much as Shining Armor is strong, Big Mac is a lot stronger. Those who try to help are knocked down by Mac’s dynamic hits. Big Mac pins Shining Armor to the ground.

“What I wouldn’t give to have my horn back to normal.” he tells himself.

“Hey! Big Brother!” Applejack calls out. Big Mac turns….WHAM! Applejack immediately bucks him hard in the face, knocking him out cold. “Sorry bout’ that. In time, you’ll forgive me.”

“Thanks AJ. I owe you one.”

“Come on, guys!” Rainbow Dash shouts, “The prisoners are this way!”

They all run inside, taking on any more possessed ponies that get in their way,

Sombra has grown large, transforming into an airborne smoking monstrosity, with only his head being the most recognizable part of him, and the rest a giant trail of smoke. He is bigger than Matt, tossing him around the fortress like a ragdoll, throwing him into pillars and walls with all the force he could muster. Still, the human continues to stand, and Sombra continues to get frustrated. He charges at Matt, opening his jaws for a massive bite, hoping to tear him in half. Matt reaches out and grabs Sombra's teeth before they could chomp at him. He is dragged on the ground, before Sombra flies up into the skies, Matt still holding onto his jaws, refusing to get eaten.

With a flip of his head, Matt is flung out of the King’s mouth, and into the air. He flies about, before falling towards the open mouth of Sombra, Matt falls inside the King’s mouth, and tumbles towards the ground, hitting the smoke on the way down, feeling as if he is smacking against a series of walls with each hit. Finally he reaches the ground, and lands on his back. Matt lays there for a bit, taking in the experience.

“That wasn’t so bad.” he jests to himself. He looks up to see Sombra falling head first towards him, roaring on the way down. “Uh-oh.”

BOOM!

Matt is hit by the meteoric impact of Sombra, the ground crumbling beneath them, dust and smoke billowing in the air, before dissipating into the physical form of Sombra standing over Matt. To the King’s everlasting surprise, Matt is still conscious, still ready to fight.

“How? How are you still alive?” Sombra asks.

“Magic.” Matt replies in a joking manner, even though it’s entirely true.

POW! Matt throws a strong punch into the King’s jaw; he careens onto the ground, smacking into a pile of rocks. Before he could get up, Matt grabs his back hoof, dragging him along at a running speed.

“You smash me into pillars…” Matt heads towards a series of fresh, non-destroyed pillars. He lifts Sombra over his head like a baseball bat. “I smash YOU into pillars!”

One by one Matt swings Sombra in to pillar after pillar, the beautiful architecture has now been destroyed by the face of the stallion that had been living there. The King grunts and yells in pain, pieces of his fangs shattering, falling out of his mouth, blood splattering out of his muzzle and nostrils.

With a final swing, Matt throws him into the final pillar. Sombra plunks on the ground, crawling, coughing up bile and blood; in pain at the beating he has taken.

“This…isn’t…possible.” he grumbles, “There’s…no way…you can be this strong…so quickly!”

“You can always give up, Sombra.” he pants in near exhaustion from the last attack, “It doesn’t have to end like this.”

The King pauses, a smile comes to his face, followed by a bout of hysterical laughter. He looks at Matt with a sadistic grin; the blood pouring from him makes this a disturbing sight.

“You think…I want to give up?!” Sombra laughs some more, “No…no…I’ll never give up…to the puny…simple…likes of YOU!!!!”

He explodes back into his smoking large form; it’s the biggest he has been. Matt looks up at the monster, clenching his fist, sighing in frustration.

“So be it…” Matt whispers.

Hundreds of captured ponies pour out of the prison, with Twilight and the others, along with the found Spike and Donut Joe, being the last to exit. They pause to look at all the havoc that has been wrought when they were gone. Obviously the outside wasn’t how it was before they went in. Applejack looks at the rubble, understandably worried about the condition of Matt, hoping that he’s okay.

“Sweet Celestia…” Rarity gasps, “What happened out here?”

“I don’t know. I don’t see Sombra anywhere!” Twilight responds.

“Where…where’s Matt? Is he okay?” Fluttershy timidly asks, in fright at the destruction.

A series of explosions and flying debris from not too far away, answers the question immediately, as Matt explodes out of a wall and hard into the concrete ground, making yet the hundredth crater of the fight. He crawls out of the rubble, brushing himself off.

“Matt!” Applejack yells. He turns to her, stretching out his hand in a stop sign.

“STAY BACK!” he yells. Sombra bursts out of the wrecked wall in his giant form, flying at Matt with all he has left in him.

Matt throws a massive punch, hitting the giant face of Sombra so hard, that the regular sized, physical manifestation of him flies out of the smoke, and into the air. Matt jumps after him, catching him in midair, clutching on to him, and slamming him head first into the gravel. Debris fly up, clouding the sight from the other ponies. Soon, it clears; Matt is still standing, whilst Sombra lays on the ground, seemingly unconscious from the battle. For a little extra, Matt kicks Sombra in the stomach, but he does not move; he looks down for the count.

He turns to Applejack, look ecstatic to see that he’s okay. Matt runs to her, out of breath from the fight. Sombra, weakly turns his head to the couple, growling in anger at their happiness.

Matt kneels down, opening his shirt, reaching in, and pulling the necklace off of him. His eyes cease to glow, the power gone from him. He reaches out to give them to her…

Sombra…sees the elements. His eyes glow a violent green, not knowing that all this time, Matt was in possession of the Elements of Harmony. He ROARS in rage, and runs towards them in a final charge.

Matt looks at the charging Sombra, then back to Applejack. He only has time for one action, before he is to be tackled. He makes his choice, looking at his love with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry…” he tells her.

He throws the Elements into the air, allowing them to separate from one another. They instantly jump to their respective bearers. Laughter, Generosity, Magic, Loyalty, Kindness…and finally Honesty. As the elements attach to them…

Matt is hit by Sombra like a freight train.

“MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Applejack screams in terror.

Sombra pins Matt to the ground, relentlessly beating him to a pulp, then lifting him into the air, and slamming him down. All the anger he has been feeling for this human, he is delivering the punishment he planned on giving him. It doesn’t take long for Matt to fall into unconsciousness, blood pouring from his mouth.

“I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!!!!!” Sombra bellows. He clamps onto Matt’s shirt and tosses him high into the sky. Sombra transforms into his large self, opening his jaws for a final bite. “I AM GOING TO TEAR YOU APART!!!!”

“SHINING ARMOR!!!” Cadance yells, unfurling her wings. Shining Armor knows exactly what she has planned. “DO IT!!!”

He grabs his wife, and with his great strength, throws Cadance like a javelin towards them. Before Sombra could reach him with his mighty jaws, Cadance catches Matt’s body, flying him to the ground.

Sombra flies back to the ground, not changing back, flying at them, and planning to eat them both. Suddenly, Applejack tackles the giant smoky head of Sombra, knocking his physical form onto the rubble. She gets on top of him, and screams at the top of her lungs as she mercilessly beats the King nearly half to death.

The Elements activate. The eyes of the bearers glow brightly. Applejack stops her beating, as she floats to her companions, becoming one with them. The others shield their eyes at the brightness of the scene. Sombra gets up, his face a near wreck, looking at the Elements about to unleash hell upon him.

“No…” he whimpers, “No, it’s not fair….”

A beam of multicolored light shoots at Sombra, enveloping his entire body to the point where he isn’t visible to anypony, but his screams are ever so audible. After seconds of brightness, the light dissipates, and the bearers of the Elements float back down onto their hooves.

Sombra…still stands. But, there is something different about him. He doesn’t display green eyes, or a smoking mane, or even a hole in his chest. He is just a normal unicorn; just as he once was all those years ago, before he was changed into the monster he had become. He looks at his body, chuckling at its normalcy. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, was the briefest thought of relief; that being who he was, was all he ever needed in life. But something catches up to him quickly…age.

“I feel…” he gives out one last breath, “…old.”

Gradually, his fur becomes lighter and lighter, in a shade of grey. His body starts to peel away from him, forming into ash; the wind blowing his remnants away. Sombra's eyes turn to nothing, as he slumps to the ground, and all the ash poofs up into the air, revealing a skeleton, which slowly crumbles into nothing. All that is still whole…is his horn.

Which Applejack promptly smashes with her hoof.

The possessed guards’ eyes change into their normal colors. They all regain consciousness, confused about their surroundings. The unicorns that had their horns crystallized, are now back to the way that they were, with nothing to block their magic. Everything is back to normal.

Everything, except….

“Matt!” Applejack hears Cadance’s calls, “Matt, can you hear me?!”

She rushes to Cadance, witnessing the injuries of the horrible beating Matt has sustained. He isn’t moving, he isn’t even breathing. Applejack’s heart feels like it has dropped from her chest. She kneels down, taking Matt into her arms from Cadance, shaking him, trying to get him to open his eyes; anything to show that he’s still alive.

“Matt?” tears are shed from Applejack’s eyes. “It’s time to wake up.” Nothing. “We have to go home and get married, remember? Matt?” He doesn’t respond. Fear takes hold of her, as her shakes and prods of his chest become more aggressive. “No, no don’t do this! You promised me, Matt! You promised you wouldn’t do this!” The others walk to her. She looks up at them. “Don’t just stand there! Use the Elements to help him!”

“The Elements can’t give life back, AJ.” Twilight tearfully says.

“No! No, he’s not dead! He’s not!” she presses her forehead against Matt’s, “You wake up now, ya hear! You are not gonna die like this! You’re gonna get up, and we’re gonna get married, and grow old, and…” she can’t even finish what she is going to say, as she breaks down into sobs and tears. “Matt…please…”

The others don’t know what to say. They are all crying at the loss of their good friend. He has given his life to save them all…to save Equestria…but they do not know what to say. Reluctantly, they turn to leave Applejack alone, allowing her to mourn her fallen love.

She puts a hoof to his face, caressing it gently.

“Matt…” she whispers, “You remember what you said, when you saved me that day on the dock? It was the first time you ever told me that you loved me. It brought me back; I lived because of what you said. Now, I’m going to say it…and if you don’t come back…I’m going to go down there, and beat ya until you return to me, understand?” She gets close to him. “Matt…I love you.”

Silence. She waits for something to happen. Nothing. She continues to wait. Hope fades from her face, as she closes her eyes, praying for something to happen.

Then…she feels it. Matt’s hand on her cheek, slowly and lovingly touching it. She gasps, but is immediately silenced by his lips making contact with hers. They separate from the kiss. She opens her eyes. He opens one, the other blinded by blood. He smiles.

“I love you too.” he says weakly.

“MATT!” Applejack cries out in happiness, continuing to shed tears, but ones of joy.

The others hear her cries, turning around to see Matt is alive. They gallop to their friends, shouting in celebration.

“Matt!” Cadance says, “You’re okay!”

“For the most part, anyway.” he chuckles. Trying to get up, he winces in pain. “Shit…I think my arm is broken. My legs might be broken too. Actually…I think all of me is broken.”

“Your sense of humor seems to be alright.” Donut Joe laughs.

“Matt…” Applejack softly says, “Ah can’t believe you’re alive.”

“I told you, AJ.” he says, “I wasn’t going anywhere.” She embraces him, to which he responds, “Owwww….seriously…I think I’m really injured here.”

“We can tell. Ah just wanted to hold you for a bit.”

“That’s great, but a hospital really sounds nice right about now.”

“Come on.” Twilight chortles, “Let’s help him up.”

Shining Armor, Cadance, and Twilight put a field around him, lifting him up, and they all start to carry him out of the wrecked fortress.

“Hey…” Matt says, “This feels kind of nice, all things considered.”

“Really?” asks Shining Armor, “We could put you down, if you like.”

“You know what? I think I’m okay up here.”

Just then, Big Mac, now possession free, joins with the group, rubbing his jaw, looking at the floating Matt with confusion.

"So...what did ah miss?"

Everypony chuckles. It’s time to leave this awful place, and back into more pleasant places…like a hospital room.

Reunion

Five days have passed since the return, and subsequent demise of King Sombra. Five days since he kidnapped the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Five days since the one that saved them…was a mere human. Matthew Williams nearly gave his life for them, but the worst he got was a bevy of broken bones, and a bit of a coma. Canterlot is now in the process of being repaired, after the mad King’s attack on it, shattering the murals of painted glass in the throne room, damage to the towers, and psychiatric evaluations for those who fell under his power.

Inside the medical ward of Canterlot Castle, Matt rests with a few bandages on him, an IV in his arm, and a heart rate monitor checking his pulse. For someone who was used as a human ragdoll, he seems surprisingly fine, all things considered.

This is also the day where he finally wakes up.

His opens his eyes slowly, coming from a deep sleep, brought upon by loads of medication to keep him comfortable. He yawns a wide yawn, and looks at the unfamiliar ceiling above him. He stares for a few moments, not sure where he is, or what is going on. He won’t have to wonder much longer, though.

“Ah, you’re awake.” a gentle voice says.

Matt turns his head to the right to see Princess Celestia, standing by his bed. He’s both surprised, and happy to see her.

“Princess?” he says, “What are you doing here?” He looks around the room. “Where am I?”

“You’re back in Canterlot. In the hospital wing, to be more precise. I’m here because I was told you would be awake today, and I wanted to come and see you.”

“Today? Wha…how long was I out?”

“About five days.”

“Five days?!” his eyes widen, “I was out for five whole days?!”

“Well, four days, twelve hours, and thirty two minutes, but who is counting?” Matt prepares to open his mouth, she stops him. “Rhetorical question, Matt.” He ceases his reply. “Besides, you weren’t alone.” she glances up past Matt.

He turns his head to see Applejack, sleeping like a filly; using her hat like a pillow. Matt smiles upon seeing her.

“She hardly left your side, while you were out.”

“Why was I out? I felt fine when I was being carried to the hospital, aside from all the broken bones.”

“Well, you DID pass out from all the pain you were in, once we put you on the gurney. Plus, we had to keep you medicated to fix your bones and cuts.”

“Fix my…” Matt lifts his once broken arm up. He can move it, bend it, and twiddle his fingers. It was like it was never broken at all. “Incredible. How did…?”

“Equestrian medicine…and a little bit of magic.” Celestia winks, “You didn’t think you would be laying here for weeks now, did you?”

“Actually, I kind of did.” Matt chuckles. “How are the rest of them?”

“They’re fine; barely a scratch on them. They’re more worried about you, than they are of themselves.”

Matt sighs in relief, “You can tell them that I’ll be fine…eventually.” he chortles, “Hell of a wedding day…wasn’t it? Going to be quite a story to tell the kids…if we have any kids.”

“Yeah…” Celestia flashes a knowing smile, but Matt does not see. “Which reminds me. I wanted to give these to you before the wedding, but I didn’t have enough time to finish them.” she floats up a box, revealing two diamond encrusted bracelets inside. “When you were out, however, that gave me the perfect opportunity to complete them.”

“Bracelets?” Matt smirks with sarcasm, “You shouldn’t have.” He looks closer at the make of them. “They do look rather nice, though.”

“They are specially made bracelets. Made for one purpose and one purpose only…” Celestia pauses for dramatic effect…”To send you back to your dimension.”

Matt’s eyes widen with fear. The vision King Sombra gave him burns in his mind, the things he is most afraid of coming to pass. He breathes rapidly, backing up on the bed in a panic.

“No…NO!” he shouts, “Don’t send me back, please! I don’t want to leave!”

Celestia watches as this brave human is rapidly reduced to a scared mess. She hurriedly puts a calming hoof on his chest.

“Hey..hey…” she says gently, “That was not my intention. They are not meant to take you there permanently. I know that you feel your place is here. Relax…”

A few moments of calm pass, Matt has regressed from his panicked state, and back into who he once was. He sighs in relief, but a look of sadness is adorned on his face.

“I’m sorry…” he says softly, “Sombra…he showed me a vision of you sending me back; telling me that I was of no use to anypony anymore.”

“It was just a vision. Nothing more.”

“No matter what I told myself, it felt so real. Applejack and the others shunned me, and you loomed over me, prepared to send me back without a second thought.”

“That was a taste of Sombra’s power; to use one’s fear against them. Once he had them, he could use them as his slave, or to kill them. But, he’s gone now. You are safe.”

He nods, shaking away his thoughts and fears, knowing that they will never be. He shows a small smile, looking up at Celestia.

“I thought inter-dimensional travel was forbidden. That you were afraid of us being trapped in some dangerous dimension.”

“You are forgetting one thing, Matt.” she leans down with a smile, “I’m an alicorn, I can do what I want.” she chuckles, so does he. “I spent a long time making these bracelets be precise in their destination. All you have to do is say where you want to go, and you’ll be there. I made them for both you and Applejack.”

Matt takes the box away from her, placing it onto his lap.

”Thank you, Princess.” he says, “But…why?”

“Your letter.” she responds, “You made mention of your parents. How you missed them dearly, hoping to find a way to let them know that you were alright. Since I read that, I studied to find a way to make that hope possible.”

“This…” Matt tears up at her kindness, “This is more than I ever could have wanted. But…Applejack…do you think that they would understand?”

“I thought about that. Discovering that you are married to a different being of your species would be quite a shock to them. That’s why her bracelet has a special spell on it; one that will give her a disguise. Once you are there, she will appear to be human.”

“You thought of everything, didn’t you, Princess?”

“I’m the Ruler of Equestria, I cannot afford to not think of everything.” she winks.

“Then…can I ask you something, Celestia?”

“Of course. You can ask me anything you want.”

"The Elements of Harmony.” he sees her pause, seemingly knowing what he wants to ask. “Why did they work for me? Last time I checked, I’m not a pony.”

“Who said the Elements had to work, if you were a pony?” she smirked, “You represented everything that they stood for. Generosity, Kindness, Honesty, Loyalty, Laughter…”

“But not magic.”

“No. Not magic. There’s a seventh element. One that cannot be made into a jewel, or a crown. It was the element that Shining Armor and Cadance used to banish Queen Chrysalis that day when she tried to take over Canterlot. The element…is of love.” Matt’s heart flutters at the word. “Your love for them, specifically your love of Applejack, was so strong, that the elements…compensated for the absence of magic. It was love that guided you to them; what gave you your strength. I’m also going to say that it was love that saved you from death; if not that, your body’s stubbornness on staying alive.” she snickers. “That’s what helped you, that’s what saved you.”

“Wow…” Matt is awed, “That…is surprisingly cheesy…” he smiles, “…but in a good way.”

“You take care, Matt. I’m sure that we will see each other again.” Celestia backs away to go to the door. Matt holds out a hand.

“Wait.” he sees her stop. “So you and Chrysalis…” he says slyly, “I have to say…I didn’t think you were into that.”

“What can I say? She’s a very charming for an evil Queen.”

“Must have been quite a shock, when you found out about her.”

“It was. But we…dealt with it.”

“How did you do that?”

“I’ll write you a letter about it…then tell you to burn it.” she says with a hint of sarcasm and a wink. Matt knew what she was referring to. That letter wasn’t going to come; he was only going to have to imagine what had happened between them.

Celestia waved his goodbye, leaving him alone…but not entirely. The sleeping Applejack is still present in the room. Matt looks over, finally getting a good look at her. He notices a couple small bandages on her coat, from the cuts she sustained when escaping from Sombra’s clutches. That’s in the past now, she is safe, and Matt is happy.

He looks back up at the unfamiliar ceiling, holding onto the box that she gave to him.

“I’d thought she'd never leave.” Applejack’s voice suddenly calls out. Matt quickly turns, and is instantly greeted by a loving kiss. It’s been a long time for her since she had intimate contact with Matt, and she was going to make the most of it. It’s a long, drawn out, and passionate kiss that could go on forever, if they saw fit. Like all good things, it must come to an end.

“You weren’t sleeping?” Matt asks her, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wanted you all to myself.” she looks down at the box in his hands, “So, those things can turn me into a human, huh?”

“Only when you’re over there. Good thing too, I’m not sure if the government is still after me.” he half jokes, remembering the merry chase he had with the police back in New York.

“Are you excited to see what ah look like as one of you?”

“I admit, the thought is intriguing.” he puts a hand on her cheek, “But it’s who you really are, that I’m in love with.”

“Geez. And ya say what Celestia said was cheesy.”

“You like it. Don’t lie.” he grins.

“I don’t like it. I love it.” She goes in for another kiss. “Let me move these things out of the way.” she grabs onto the box, placing it onto the table by the bed. “Now, where was I?” she gets on top of the very surprised Matt.

“Woah! In a hospital?!” he says, “A little strange, don’t you think?”

“The doctor is in, Mr. Williams. It’s time for your medicine.”

“Okay, what did we say about cheesy lines?” Applejack gives him a seductive look, he sighs; not able to argue with her when she looks like that. “Aw, to hell with it.” He brings her down for another romantic kiss.

The next day, Matt was out of the hospital first thing in the morning. Together, with Applejack, they went home, to plan out their journey to his dimension. They packed the appropriate clothing, all the essentials one would need for the other side. They even packed some extra clothes, just in case Applejack’s human form would come out the other side naked. Though both of them prayed that would not be the case. Actually, in Matt’s case, he half prayed.

Twilight and the other ponies were excited when they heard about their plans, getting them gifts, pictures of their time with one another, and tasty treats. Even though they were only going to be gone for a couple days, they were being treated like they were never going to come back.

Most of all, though, Matt thought about what he was going to say to his parents when he saw them again. He is not the man that they saw before he abruptly left them all those months back. Where he lives now, he is regarded as a hero, and is in love (and a physical relationship) with a creature not of his kind. Should he tell them that they are planned to be married, or should he regard her only as a friend? He thinks about those two options; on one hand, they could freak out, but on the other, it wouldn’t be fair to Applejack if he hid what was really going on between the two of them.

He decided with option one. They were going to find out sooner or later, might as well be sooner.

Eventually, the day came where they decided to go. No fanfare, no goodbyes. The two decided to not treat their journey like some big event. Besides, they were going to come back soon after anyway.

Matt slips the bracelet onto her hoof, and the other on his wrist. They look at each other, ready to go where every man is at right now. The two nod with certainty, as Matt says one word.

“Home.”

A flash of light.

The light dissipates. They are still in the house. Applejack and Matt laugh out loud at that little detour.

“I guess I have to be more specific.”

“Can’t hurt.”

He breathes in slowly, and exhales.

“Los Angeles. California.”

A flash of light.

As the light dissipates, Matt can hear the sounds of traffic on the city streets of LA. People talking, the air smelling like cigarette smoke and pollution, and no one caring that two people just appeared out of thin air on the sidewalk.

Yep, this was his world alright.

“Matt?” he hears Applejack. “I feel funny.”

He looks at her as the light clears from his eyes. Standing before him, is Applejack, but completely human. Her hair remains the same color as her Mane was, the freckles still present on her cheeks, her body fit and athletic, and her eyes still green. Though human, Matt could still see the Applejack that he knows and loves. Best of all, she’s fully clothed, wearing a red and white checkered buttoned shirt, jeans, boots, and of course her signature hat, only made to fit her smaller head.

Celestia really did think of everything.

“Be honest. How do I look?”

It’s been a long time since Matt had seen a human woman; he’d almost forgotten what they looked like. Upon seeing Applejack however, it all came back to him. A smile adorns his face.

“You look beautiful.” He sees her smile. “I mean…I still prefer how you normally look, but if you stayed like this, I wouldn’t be too annoyed, or argumentative.”

“Really?” Applejack looks to see a window not too far from them.

She walks over to the window. Moving on two legs is a concept new to her, so she more or less hobbled over, hoping that she wouldn't fall over on each step. When she arrives at her goal, she looks carefully at her reflection, touching her cheeks, admiring her features. She is delicate at the touch, slowly moving her fingers around, getting used to the feeling of having these new appendages.

“Wow, so this is what a human woman looks like? Not bad.” Her eyes travel downwards to her chest, confused at the appearance of two mysterious mounds located there. “What in tarnation?” she grabs one; it’s soft and fleshy. “What are these things?” she touches the other one. Now, the sight of two people appearing out of nowhere doesn’t concern the people of earth, but a woman fondling her own breasts…is a different matter entirely.

She feels compelled to take off her shirt to get a better look, but Matt finally jumps in to stop her.

“No!” he shouted, grabbing her. “That’s not exactly appropriate to do around here.”

“What are these things on mah chest?”

“They’re called breasts. They’re used for…various things.” he blushes, “Most importantly, to produce milk when they are with child.”

“Ah, I see.” she looks down, “Matt…you’re holding on to them.”

“What?” he looks down, completely unaware that when he grabbed her, he grabbed her breasts. Immediately, he steps back, letting go. “Oh my god! I did not know I was doing that!”

“Don’t worry about it.” Applejack giggles. The two look at their surroundings, getting a better look at where they are. Matt knows that they are in the middle of Los Angeles, standing close to the Capitol Records building. Applejack is astounded at the view, looking at all the other humans that are walking their way.

One individual, tall and muscle bound, looking like he wouldn't be out of place on a reality show about stupid partygoers, walks up behind her, with a devious smile.

"Hey cowgirl." he says in a deep voice.

Applejack turns to see him. She is a little caught off guard by his muscles, stepping back to Matt, who gets in front of her.

"Matt? What is that thing?" she whispers.

"That is the elusive Roid Monster." he whispers back with a snicker.

"Hey. Your girl is awful pretty. Looks like more than you can handle."

"Excuse me?" Matt asks, "I can handle her just fine."

"Come on, baby." the idiot gestures her to come to him, "Let me show you want a real man can do."

Matt looks over at Applejack, with a look that screams 'this guy serious?'

"You want me to handle this, AJ?"

"Nah, I got it."

She steps out from behind Matt, walking to the man with a friendly smile.

"Yeah..." the guy says, "...that's what I'm talking about."

WHAM! Applejack delivers a swift kick to the guy's nuts. He goes down like he's nothing, whimpering, holding his precious family jewels. He runs away like the coward he is.

“So, where exactly are your parents?” Applejack asks him nonchalantly, like the events never happened.

Matt takes her by the hand. “They’re not too far away. Come with me.” He picks up their suitcase, and hails a cab. “I sure hope Celestia managed to produce money.”

She did. Whatever bits they brought with them, transformed into actual cash. He tells the driver where to go, and they are on their way.

Within half an hour, the cab dropped them off in the middle of a suburban neighborhood. A definite contrast to the busy streets of Los Angeles. Matt pays the driver, and he and Applejack step out of the cab with their briefcase. Before them is an attractive two story house, painted red like a barn, and a beautiful flower garden on by the windows. Applejack is impressed by the look of the house, finding it having a more than passing resemblance to the house they left in Equestria. She then looks over at the visibly shaken Matt, concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen them. I really hope they don’t have a heart attack.”

“Are you scared?”

“Let me put it this way…I had an easier time fighting the giant smoke monster, compared to taking one more step towards that house.”

For the first time, she holds his hand with her own. The touch soothes him, as he looks into her loving green eyes and gentle smile.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“You promise?”

“Cross mah heart…hope to fly.”

The Pinkie Pie promise returns the smile to his face. Together, they walk towards the steps, going up the porch, and to the door.

Matt hesitates for a few moments, before throwing caution to the wind, and knocking three times. The instant familiar sound of a dog barking enters his ears, and Applejack clutches his arm.

“You didn’t tell me ya had a dog.” she says, shaken by the dog's barking. She has her little dog Winona back home, but this beast sounds big.

“Don’t worry about her. She talks a big game, but when she sees you, she’s a big lug.”

The door opens, and the dog comes out, immediately stopping its threatening nature, and becoming a lovable mutt; sniffing Applejack's leg, and wanting to be pat on the head.

Soon after, Matt’s Mom comes out, standing before them with a smile. Before she could say a word, she looks into the eyes of her son. He gives her a smirk, yet with a look of sadness. A tear forms from his eye, dropping from his face, as she continues to look at him, all the memories returning. Matt thought he was prepared for this, but he was anything but.

“Hi, Mom.”

His Mom inches out the door to him, extending a hand out. She taps him on the shoulder, refusing to believe that he is actually standing there.

“Matt?” she asks, “Is that…”

“It’s me, Mom. I’m home.”

Suddenly, tears pour from his mother’s eyes, as she gives her son a mighty hug, tightening like a death grip, as she cries in happiness.

“Matt! I can’t believe it’s you!” she separates from the hug; he is able to catch his breath. “Oh my goodness, you’ve changed. What happened to that little belly you had?”

“I worked out.” he chuckles, “I’m a full time vegetarian now.”

“Honey!” Mom calls into the house, “Matt’s here!”

A series of things falling and stomping, are heard inside, as Matt’s father comes barreling in. His eyes widen, as he stomps to his son. Neither Applejack, not Matt are sure what is going to happen next. Suddenly, his Dad grabs Matt into another death hug.

“Where on Earth have you been?!” he shouts. “We were worried sick!” he lets Matt go, “First, you were with a bunch of talking ponies, and then nothing! Nearly a year, without a word from you?! No phone calls, no letters?! We had the police looking for you! We thought…” he tears up, “We thought…”

“I know, Dad.” he puts a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry for leaving you two for so long. But, I’m here now. I’m okay. Actually, I’m more than okay. I’ve never been happier in all my life.”

Mom and Dad look over to see Applejack looking at them with a smile. The two compose themselves, trying to shake off the fact that they have been shouting and crying.

“I-I’m sorry.” Dad says, reach out a hand for a shake. “I’m Matt’s Father. It’s nice to meet you, young lady.”

“Likewise…” she shakes his hand, “I’m Applejack.”

Both Mom and Dad raise their eyebrows at the oddity of the name.

“That’s an interesting name.” Mom says, “Are you named after something?”

“Not that I’m aware of. Just the name that was given to me, Ma’am.” She chuckles.

“Mom…Dad…” he wraps an arm around Applejack’s shoulder. “This is my wife.”

A pause. Neither party knowing what to say next. Open mouths, and halfhearted noises emanate from them.

“Is that why you were gone for so long? Because you got married?”

“Um…it’s a little more complicated than that.”

Hours have passed. Everyone sits inside the house, in the living room. Matt and Applejack has just finished the story about what had happened during the near year that he'd been gone. The teleportation, what Applejack really is, the near death experiences, the laughs, the heartaches, everything. Mom and Dad simply sat there, watching their son and his bride tell the story, never interrupting, never questioning. They looked at their son; they know when he lies, but there was none of it in the story that he was weaving. Everything that came out of his mouth was the absolute truth, and neither Mom nor Dad knew what to say to that.

Once they were finished, another pause echoes through the room and the halls. Dad was the first to speak.

“So…” he clears his throat, “You’re saying that you accidentally fell into those ponies’ dimension, and have been living with them all this time?”

“Yeah.”

“And that SHE…” he points to Applejack, “...is one of the ones that came here before, and now you two are married?”

“Well, we’re not married yet, Mr. Williams.” Applejack says, “But we’re plannin’ on it very soon.”

“I see.” he looks at his Wife, then back at their son. “So…when you’re over there…are you a pony?”

“Nope, just a plain ol’ human.”

“And you’re the only human in this…Equestria?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying.”

“So…essentially…you’re marrying something of a different species.”

“Yes.” Matt says with confidence, the nervousness plaguing him earlier being stripped away. He watches his parents pause again, whispering to each other about their next move. They separate, and look back at them.

“Do you…” Mom says, “…have a picture of what Applejack looks like in her world?”

“Yeah, I think we do.” Matt reaches into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. He flips through the photos, before finding a picture of himself and the ponied Applejack hugging at a rodeo, after a big win in the bull riding competition. “Here.” he hands the picture over to them.

The two parents look at the picture, making glances at the human Applejack, then back at her true form. It is a constant back and forth between the two, before finally looking at one another in agreement, and giving the picture back to Matt.

“Yeah…” Dad says, “We can see that.”

“See what?”

“Why you’re marrying her.”

“You’re really pretty.” Mom says, smiling. "Your true self...but how you look now is nice, too."

“Thank you, Mrs. Williams.” Applejack is happy to hear this.

“So…have you two…gotten intimate?”

“Dad!” Matt blushes, “We don’t need to talk about that.”

“What? It’s an honest question. There’s no law in wondering about certain things, is there? How about it?”

Matt looks at Applejack. She gives him the okay to divulge on the information in question. He looks down, mumbling “Yes.”

“So, what’s it like?”

“Okay! I’m not talking about that.” Matt shouts. Everyone laughs; Dad wasn’t really serious.

The tension broken, Applejack, Matt, and his parents proceed to talk about other things; playing catch up in their lives. Matt’s parents had to deal with a swarm of press and police, during the time when Matt was gone, questioning them about their son’s whereabouts, along with queries about his relationship with the ponies.

Matt would tell him about the mishaps he had gotten himself into during his time in Equestria; about how he would always get hurt, and that he tried to repair a house all by himself, and having to get help when he realized he wasn’t doing a great job.

Best of all, he would tell them about Applejack, and how much she means to him, holding onto her hand as he sang her praises, and vice versa. The two would look at one another with all smiles, and his parents could see the love in their eyes. Even though they knew what she really is, it did not bother them, as long as their son was happy.

They talked all the way into the middle of the night, the time flying by in the blink of an eye. Matt’s parents were getting sleepy, and so were they.

They lead Applejack and Matt to his old room, which they left intact, should he ever come by for the holidays or any other visits. Applejack walked in, and looked around the room. Posters of films that she never heard of, like Star Wars and Avatar, adorn the blue walls of his room. His bed big enough to hold the both of them, with a television at the far end.

“We got your stuff back from your apartment. Didn’t want it being taken away. Your video games and movie collection are back where you had it before.” Mom says. "We also got this." She holds up a box. One labled 'Don't Touch.'

It's Matt's box of money. He looks at it with a hint of shock that it hadn't been stolen after all this time. Then, his face changes to a smile.

“Thanks.” Matt nods, "Keep the money. I'm doing fine where I am."

Mom smiles as she brings the box back to her side. The four stand face to face in the room. Mom elbows Dad, gesturing that they should leave the two alone for some privacy. He takes the hint, and the two begin to leave.

“Goodnight, Son.” Dad says, with Mom looking on. “Goodnight, Applejack.”

The two wave them goodbye, and they close the door, leaving them alone in the room. Applejack sits down on the bed. It’s a nice and soft cushion, making her bounce around a little bit, having a bit of fun. Matt chortles as he sits down next to her.

“As you can see…” he says with a grin, “I’m kind of a nerd, back here.”

“Oh no, whatever shall I do?” Applejack sarcastically quips, “Ya think ah didn’t know that already?”

“Oh, I’m sure you knew. But, now you know just HOW nerdy I am.”

“What in the hay is that Avatar picture up there on the wall?”

“It’s a movie.”

“What’s it about?”

“It’s about a guy who goes onto a distant planet, inhabited by these incredible creatures. Using some technological stuff, he’s able to fit in with them, and…fall in love with the princess of the aliens.”

“Oh…so…it’s kinda like Dances with Timberwolves?”

“Don’t hate. Okay, yeah; it’s a little bit like that, but it’s pretty cool nonetheless.”

“Can we watch it?”

“I don’t know. It like three hours.”

“Like that’s going to stop me.”

Matt gets up from the bed, and sets the movie up for her. His parents were right, they left everything the way that it was, before he moved to New York those many years ago. Finding what he was looking for was easier than riding a bike after being away from it for so long. The two lay on the bed, as Matt presses play, the movie coming on as soon as they begin to relax. He gives Applejack a pair of noise cancelling headphones, giving her the full sound experience. He has one of his own too.

Applejack loved watching movies at a high volume, finding the full stereo sequence one of the best things about going to the theater. Matt found that out the hard way, when they went to Applewood one time to catch the midnight showing of Transformares: Dark Mare of The Moon. The theater was blazing loud, and Applejack loved every minute of it.

For three hours, the two sat in silence watching the movie. Matt has seen the film more times than he could count, he practically knows it by heart. Applejack on the other hand, stares in awe at the visual effects.

“Ah thought ya didn’t have any creatures on your world. Those are obviously real!”

“Nope. All fake.”

“Sweet Celestia!”

She laughed at the funny parts, and even teared up at some of the more emotional moments of the movie. But, she also saw something else. She saw there was a similarity between Matt and the movie. He was also a human, sent to a faraway world, eventually fitting in, falling in love with a native, and saving the world at nearly the cost of his own life. She picked up on it about halfway through. Matt discovered that as the film was playing too, causing him to smile. Applejack would look up to him from time to time, noticing that constant smile he had on his face; she smiled too.

When the film ended, and Matt turned off the television, Applejack immediately kissed him. It was the first time he’d ever really kissed a human woman before, even if this human isn’t human at all.

“How was that?” she asks him.

“It was…” he studies the kiss, “…different. Not in a bad way. I’m just so used to that muzzle being there.” He taps her nose. She giggles.

“Looks like I’m gonna try a little harder.” she moves on top of him, straddling his lap, as she delivers another deep kiss. “Better?”

“You’re getting there.” They get a little rougher, their kisses more passionate, but then he stops her, moments before she takes off her shirt. “Wait…I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Why not? Don't ya want to?”

"It's not that I don't want to, but it would be weird if we…did it…while they slept in the next room.”

“You have a point there.”

“Hey, on any other night. I would totally go for it.”

She sighs, laying back down next to him. Matt looks over at the clock, noticing that it is three in the morning.

“We should get some sleep.” he says.

“Okay.” she says with disappointment in her voice.

“What’s the matter?”

“Ah wanted to know what it was like. In this body…”

“We have all the time in world to find out, Applejack.”

She holds on to him, resting her head on his chest.

“When would you like to get married again?” she asks, “The last time didn’t exactly go all that well.”

“Anytime, anywhere.” he responds.

“When we come back. The exact moment. We get everypony together, and get married right there and then.”

“That sounds fantastic.” he turns to her, “Okay. When we go back, we’ll be married. But, if another smoke monster comes out again, I swear.” They chortle, cuddling together for the night.

The next morning, Matt comes down stairs. He walks into the kitchen to find his dad, reading the morning paper and eating a bowl of cereal. It’s a familiar sight.

“You still get up early?”

“Of course I do. Once that paper hits the driveway, I’m up and about like that.” He snaps his fingers.

Matt grabs an apple, sitting down across from his pops.

“Where’s Applejack?”

“Still sleeping. We watched Avatar last night, so we slept in late.”

“I see.” he puts down the paper, “I was hoping that we would have some alone time, so now that you’re here, I’d like to talk to you about your…wife.”

“Dad…” Matt says with a grimace.

“What?”

“I know what you’re going to say.”

“What am I going to say?”

“”That what we’re doing is wrong, and that I should end the relationship.”

“What? No! I wasn’t going to say that at all. I think it’s great that you found someone, even if she does walk on four legs, and is from a different dimension…”

“Dad…”

“I’m happy for you; is all I’m trying to say. Besides, even I can admit that she’s pretty cute.”

“It’s the eyes?”

“Yeah, definitely the eyes.” The two smile. “The reason why I wanted to talk about her, is that I was wondering…” he looks around, getting closer for a whisper, “Can she have children?”

“I was told no.”

“Ah, so you haven’t been using…protection?”

“No!” he covers his ears, “Jesus, Dad. You know how I get when you talk about this stuff!”

“I don’t see how it’s weird for you, when you’ve already done it.”

“I just don’t like to talk about it.” He thinks to himself, “Unless I’m writing to the Princess apparently.”

“What about when she’s like…that?” he glances up to the ceiling, referring to her human form. “Can she get pregnant that way?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t tried it yet.”

“Right. You didn’t want to do it, with us in the next room.”

“You heard?!”

“The walls are like paper thin, of course I heard.” He responds. Matt puts his head down in embarrassment. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Son. We all make mistakes.”

“No kidding.”

Dad goes back to reading his paper. “Happy Birthday, by the way.”

“It’s my birthday?”

“Yeah. Twenty five, and getting married. That’s quite an accomplishment.”

“Thanks Dad.”

Dad looks closer at the paper. “Huh. Two for one sale at Best Buy.”

“I’m going to go wake up AJ.”

“Okay. Hey, Matt?”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“I am glad that you’re back.”

“I know you are.” Matt smirks.

Matt walks up the stairs, past Mom, greeting her a good morning, which she replies with another death hug, happy that she is able to see her son again. He smiles it off, and goes to his room. He knocks on the door.

“AJ? You up?”

“Yeah.” she says from the other side, “Come in.”

Matt opens the door to see something he did not expect. Applejack…standing in front of a mirror…naked. His jaw almost drops. She turns to him, revealing her total nudeness to him. As if on a reflex, he covers his eyes.

“I didn’t see anything!” Matt lies, “I swear!”

“Matt, it’s not like we’re strangers. You don’t need to cover your eyes.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Matt.” Applejack says sternly, “It’s okay.”

Before he looks at her, he quickly shuts the door. Gathering his courage, he turns to face the incredibly bare Applejack. She looks up and down, nervous about how he feels about her human body. It’s the first time he’s ever gotten this much of a look at it. Needless to say, he likes what he sees. The thing is…he’s never seen a fully naked woman before…in person anyway. What interested him the most, was not just how she looked, but that her cutie mark remained present on her rear, like some kind of tattoo.

“Well?” she wonders, “What do ya think?”

“Do you really want me to answer that question?” he says with an eyebrow raised.

“You hate it. I knew you would.” she picks up her shirt, ready to get clothed.

“No, no! I didn’t mean it like that.” he goes to her, taking her hands, holding them gently. “I like it…I mean…I REALLY like it. I’m just surprised that you’re standing here…in my room…totally naked.”

“Ah take it you never had a woman here before.” she says with a foxy tone, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad to be your first…”

“And only one.” he completes.

The two lean in for a kiss…

The door opens, his Mom on the other side.

“Matt…” she calls out, “Your fath…” she pauses. Matt quickly turns, covering Applejack’s nude body with his; outstretching his arms so that his mother cannot see what’s on the other side.

“Mom!” Matt yells.

“Sorry, I should have knocked. Your Father and I are going out, would you two like to come with us?”

“Ummm…”he glances at Applejack, “Not right now. We’re still getting a little…accustomed to our surroundings. You two go on ahead. We’ll hang out with you guys when you come home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Definitely sure. You two have fun, okay?”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

His Mother closes the door. Matt rushes to the knob, locking it to prevent others from barging in. Within moments, he hears the sounds of keys jingling, and doors opening. Looking out the window, he sees his parents walking to the car, getting inside. Mom looks up at him, waving. He waves back, before watching her disappear into the car. They drive off. Matt sighs, looking back at Applejack, with a look that he has always given her when he is…ready. No interruptions, no one to hear from behind the walls; only they are in the house, able to do WHATEVER they wanted. She smirks with slyness.

“Bed?” she asks.

“Oh yeah…totally bed.”

Matt and Applejack were true to their word. For the next couple of days, they hung out with them. Going to places like the mall, a nice restaurant, even the movies. After the night she watched her first human movie, she was curious to see what the others were like. To her surprise, there was a human version of Transformares. To Matt’s surprise, they weren’t that different from the pony versions back in Equestria. It’s like the director did both films at the same time. The two made a point to bring along Matt’s film collection back to their home in Ponyville.

Mom and Dad came to adore Applejack. She was a bright, funny, and strong young woman in their eyes. While they had one or two reservations about her, they accepted her into the family, pony or not. They were even interested in meeting her friends, even though Matt and Applejack were adamant that it would take a long time, before they would see the others on their world.

Mom and Dad brought them along on a trip to a horse ranch, where Applejack came into first contact with the horses of Matt’s world. She walked up to them, reaching out a hand to shake the horses hoof.

“Howdy there, partner! Mah name is Applejack.” The Horse keeps on eating his hay. “Not much of a talker, eh? Well, I don’t blame ya. I’m from Equestria. It’s very nice. How do you like it here?” No response. “Hey now, are you just ignorin’ me? That’s a little rude.” She moves away from the horse, walking back to Matt. “You’re right. They are a little thick in the head. And nowhere near as pretty.”

“Awww! Look at the cute pony!” A little girl shouts, catching Applejack’s attention.

She sees the girl pointing at a small pony in the stables, standing there, eating a pile of hay. The girl is ecstatic to see such a creature. Applejack is annoyed.

“That’s not cute! That’s just a big dumb animal!” she says, “That girl wouldn’t know cute, if it came and bit her in the rump!”

Matt takes her aside, trying not to crack up hysterically.

“Calm down, AJ.”

“Please don’t tell me you thought of us like that thing, when you first met us.”

“I didn’t. I believe my first thought was ‘holy shit! A talking pony!’”

“Yeah yeah, okay, smart ass.” Applejack snickers, “This is by far, my least favorite place in your world.”

“Wanna go to the movies again?’

“Oh yeah, now we’re talkin’!”

Soon, the day had arrived, when Matt and AJ had to leave. Mom and Dad were sad to see him go once again out of their lives. He assured them that he would come back for holidays, like thanksgiving and Christmas, to which they demanded that he kept to his word. He had no intention of breaking his promises to them.

Like the two planned, they took Matt’s collection of films, borrowing one of Dad’s massive suitcases to fit it all in.

After yet another tearful goodbye, with most of the tears coming from Matt’s mom, Matt and Applejack were ready to return to their true home. He gives Applejack the honors.

“Home.” she says quietly.

A big flash of light once again envelops them.

Within seconds, the light disappears, and they are standing back in their house, finally back home. Matt looks down at Applejack, seeing her back in her pony form. He looks at her like an old friend has returned to his life. Though he liked the way she looked as a human, nothing can compare to the original model. He kneels down, and gives her a big hug, welcoming the sight of her. She is more than appreciative of the gesture, returning with one of her own.

“Okay, we’re back.” Matt says, “You want to get married for real, this time?”

“Definitely.”

Nice Day For A Wedding

It’s a beautiful and warm Sunday afternoon. The sun shines on Sweet Apple Acres, and the guests have already arrived. Everypony gathers in the barn, which has been redecorated on the inside to look like a church. The hole on the ceiling, caused by the careening body of Matt, has been repaired, and painted over; it almost looks it had never happened at all. The minister waits at the far end, watching the guests gather inside, taking their seats for the event to come.

Today is a perfect day for a wedding.

Matt nervously paces behind the barn; Spike, Big Macintosh, Shining Armor, Donut Joe, Trixie, and new addition Lyra, stand in front of him, watching his erratic movements. Matt is wearing a repaired version of his suit, with no more rips and tears on them. The others wear a simpler, black version, but nonetheless stylish. Even Lyra and Trixie wear the suits, finding the fabric comfortable.

Matt has been waiting for this day for a while now, and deep down, he couldn’t be happier than he is at this moment, yet he is not immune to the standard pre-wedding jitters.

“Applejack…with this ring…no no no…” he whispers, “Applejack…for the longest time…no…that’s not it either.”

“You don’t have to memorize the vows.” Lyra says, “She won’t think less of you if you read it on the page.”

“Yeah, but I want to remember it.” he paces further, “What if I screw up? What if I say the wrong thing?” he turns to Shining Armor. “Were you like this on your wedding day?”

“I was under the control of Queen Chrysalis on my wedding day.”

“I mean after that.”

“No. I was fine.”

“Thanks, you’re a big help.” Matt says with sarcasm.

“Why did you even invite Chrysalis to the wedding, anyway?” Spike queries.

“She’s a friend. Plus, with her and Celestia together, it would be a bit jerk-ish of us to not invite her.”

“You really made some strange friends during your time here, didn’t you?” Trixie wonders.

“I know. I also made friends with a magician stripper.” Matt winks at her, making her giggle.

“Okay, I’ll give you that.” Trixie sees his point.

The Minister emerges from the back door of the barn, looking at Matt.

“It’s time.” he says.

“Oh…shit.” Matt tries to compose himself, straightening his tie, slicking his hair back. He turns to his friends. “How do I look?”

“Like a nervous wreck.” Donut Joe answers.

“Apart from that.”

“Like a REALLY nervous wreck.” Big Macintosh doesn’t help matters.

“Okay, frak it. Let’s do this.”

On the opposite end, standing in front of the barn/church, is Applejack, her friends, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders as flower fillies. The bridesmaids wore beautiful white silk dresses, while Applejack wears a refined version of her previous wedding gown. White cowpony boots, a southern style dress with strands of leather hanging off it, and her cowpony hat, with a veil on the top.

Like Matt, she paces around, nervous as a foal on their first day of school…maybe more nervous than that too. Her teeth chatter like she is cold, when there isn’t much cold to be had on that day. Her friends watch her with concern, as she tries to remember her vows.

“Matt…these last few months…no no no….” she whispers to herself, “Matt…all this time…no no no…that’s not it either.”

“You don’t have to memorize your vows, darling.” Rarity assures her, “He won’t think less of you, if you read it from a paper.”

“Yeah, but ah want to remember it.” she looks at Cadance, “Were you like this…” She remembers asking Cadance that very question the first time. Before the Princess opens her mouth…”Nevermind, I asked you that before.” she puts her forehead against the barn door. “Sweet Celestia, I’m nervous.”

The others gather around her, each placing a caring hoof on her back. She looks at their smiling faces, letting her know that everything was going to be alright.

"Don't worry, Applejack." Twilight tries to reassure her, "He's going to be there for you, no matter what."

"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash says with brashness, "You're going to knock it right out of the park!"

"Ya think so?"

"We know so!" screamed Pinkie.

Applejack looks at them, and returns their smiles with her own. The others step back, watching her becoming more and more ready for the wedding.

“How do ah look?” Applejack asks.

“You look ready.” Twilight confirms.

“Okay. Let’s do this.”

The stage is set. Matt waits at the altar, his groomscolts, along with Lyra and Trixie, stand at his side; Trixie continues giving Shining Armor the bedroom eyes, making him sweat just a little bit. She still hasn’t forgotten their night together with Cadance back in Las Pegasus, and neither has he. Wedding music plays from a record from a DJ Pony named Vinyl Scratch. She is obviously bored out of her mind, waiting to put on some real music. Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Queen Chrysalis stand off to the sides. Their height proving an inconvenience to others, if they sat in the aisles.

Soon, the barn doors open, the Cutie Mark Crusaders bouncing in, tossing flower petals along the walkway, the older ponies awing at their cuteness. Then, the bridesmaids come in, giving everypony the best smiles, as they walk toward the altar, standing at their respective positions. Pinkie gives Matt an enthusiastic wave, to which he waves back, equally as excited.

The ponies stand from their seats. The music changes to the classic music one would hear when the bride walks down the aisle. The doors open again, revealing Applejack. He marvels at her stunning dress. Briefly, he looks to Rarity, giving her a quick thumbs up, which she replies with a chuckle. Applejack adjusts her hat in a quick motion, before slowly walking down, towards her glowing husband. One couldn’t take the smile off his face if they tried. She looks at him every step of the way; the mere thought of finally getting married brings tears to her eyes.

She makes it. No mishaps, no tripping, no nothing. She stands before him, looking up into his loving eyes, as the music comes to an end.

“You look beautiful.” he whispers to her. She beams with a blush gracing her cheeks. The two look to the Priest for his opening words.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the sight of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Queen Chrysalis, along with friends and relatives, to witness the union of this man, and this mare, to live together in holy matrimony.” He looks at Matt, “Mr. Williams, I believe both you and Applejack have written your own vows?”

Matt nods, “Yes.”

“Would you like to go first?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He reaches into his pocket…but stops. He looks at Applejack, the vows pouring into his head, like he never forgotten them in the first place. He kneels down before her, staring at her at eye level. He takes her hoof, holding it in his hand gently.

“Applejack. The first time I met you, I thought of one thing. ‘Ouch. That kick to the face really hurt.’” She laughs, so does the crowd. “But then, came that night when you cheered me up. You were so kind, understanding, and I got to know you just a little bit more. When I found myself in this strange, unfamiliar world, one of my first thoughts, was to come by and see you. Again, I found myself being injured.” More laughs from the crowd and Applejack. “But, that didn’t stop me from wanting to keep on visiting you. Over time, you became my best friend; we hung out every other day, and I adored your company. Then…the day came when I realized…I was in love with you.” Tears well up in his eyes. “You told me once, that you never thought of yourself as special; I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong.” he says with a tearful grin, “You are special to me. Every day I spent with you, has been one happy memory after another. I was, and still am, willing to do anything and everything to keep that wonderful smile on your face. A week ago, I was even willing to give my very life, so that you may live another day longer. You know what has changed in the last few days? Nothing.” A tear goes down Applejack’s cheek. “There is nobody, and nopony, I would rather spend the rest of my life with…than you.”

The guests give out an “Awwww….” At his vows. Applejack is speechless, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wipes them off, laughing.

“Aw, how am I supposed to follow that?” she asks, the others chuckled in amusement. “I’ll give it mah best shot, then.”

She inhales and exhales, preparing herself.

“Matt. You told me when it was that you fell in love with me, but did I ever tell you when it was, when I fell in love with you?” Matt shakes his head. “It wasn’t the night at the hoedown, it wasn’t when you saved my life on the dock, and it wasn’t even when you came with me to the rodeo, cheering me on. It was…the first time you came to the farm.” Matt looks at her, surprised. “You were so nervous, jittery as a junebug, but also sad. Seeing you smile when I cheered you up, made me feel warm inside. Not only that…but I saw a lot of myself in you. Happy, but also unsure about yourself, always wanting to prove your worth, not to mention stubborn as a mule.” Matt chuckles. “I wanted to keep seeing you; that’s why I gave you the job. As time went on, and you would come down to see me, even though there was no work to be done, I knew…I wanted to be with you. You were always there to make me feel like I was the most important pony, and though it took the both of us a long time to admit our feelings to one another, the day we finally did…I wouldn’t trade it for anything in Equestria.” she puts a hoof on his cheek, caressing him with much love. “Falling in love with you…was the best decision I have ever made, and I am proud to be marrying you.”

Tears flow out of Matt’s eyes, his smile never leaving. The others around them cry their eyes out, especially Pinkie Pie, who was particularly loud.

“Do you have the rings?” the Minister asks.

Spike walks up to them, holding a pillow, carrying a ring for Matt, and a bracelet for Applejack. Matt takes the bracelet, slipping it onto Applejack’s hoof easily. The ring, was harder than they thought. She couldn’t get a good angle on it with her hoof, so she put it in her mouth, clutching the ring with her teeth, allowing Matt to put his finger into the ring. Once it was on, the two laughed at the situation.

“Matthew Williams…” the Minister continued, “Do you take Applejack as you lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?”

“I do.”

“And do you Applejack, take Matthew…”

“Oh, you know ah do!” Applejack interrupts, much to the amusement of everypony.

“Then by the power vested in my, in the town of Ponyville, that I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss…” They don’t let him finish, flying into each other for a passionate kiss. “…The bride.” He says with a smirk.

Vinyl plays a record playing the climactic wedding music one would hear at the end of the ceremony, as everypony stomps their hooves in applause. Pinkie runs up to her, whispering in her ear, After a couple moments, Vinyl rips the record out, and puts in one of her own.

Suddenly, the speakers in the barn explode with catchy techno pop, and the aisles transform into a dance floor. Pinkie comes rushing in with a rolling table packed with drinks and food.

“Enough of the ceremony…IT’S TIME TO PAAAARRRRTTTTTAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!” she shouts.

Matt and Applejack laugh, as they watch the others crowd onto the dance floor, busting moves like there’s no tomorrow. The newly wedded couple joins in on the festivities, with Matt using the moves Applejack taught him that night at the hoedown. The crowd cheers the two of them on, as they tear up the floor with their electric energy. Pretty soon, the rest started dancing, even Queen Chrysalis had a move or two to impress, the holes in her hooves making an entertaining whooshing noise at every spin and fast motion.

Vinyl Scratch is happy to be the DJ she always was, pumping out beat after beat of loud, dance floor destroying music. It was overwhelming…but in a good and satisfying way.

After a few songs, Matt began to tire, but the others were more than game. He broke away from the crowd, giving his wife a peck on the cheek, before heading to the Cider table. He grabs a mug of hard cider, downing it quickly, like it was the last drink he would ever have. The taste of apple cider with a hint of rum, swirled through his mouth and down his throat. It was the first time he ever had any of the hard stuff.

“Wow, this ain’t bad.” he grabs another mug, drinking it rapidly. He sits down at a nearby table, watching his wife dance the night away. The gravity of the situation, of what he just did, hit him hard, and a smile graces his lips.

He had done it. He had married Applejack.

“Enjoying that cider?” Matt turns his head to see Twilight sitting down next to him, sweating from the dancing.

“Yeah. I never tried the alcoholic stuff before. It’s not bad.”

“Don’t drink too much. Have to stay conscious for the wedding night.”

“Believe me…” he takes another gulp, “I know.” Twilight chortles. “What are you doing here, anyway? You should be out there, dancing.”

“So should you.”

“A human like me has his limits. Four songs, and I’m a sweating mess. Once the slower stuff comes on, I’ll be good to go.”

Twilight watches him, as he looks back at Applejack. She looks at the beautiful bride, marveling just how happy she looks.

“It’s been a long time, since I’ve seen her this happy.” she comments, “You’re a lucky guy.”

“I feel lucky.” he turns back to her, “So, when are you and Big Mac going to tie the knot?”

“Not sure.” she replies, “We haven’t talked about it much, but it’s on the table.”

“I’m happy for you.” he says, “You found somepony to sweep you off your hooves.”

“It wasn’t easy. It took a crush on you to do it.” They both chuckle. Matt thinks about those days; what he had to do to bring Twilight back to her friends. He wasn’t proud of it, but the result lead to good things for his good friend.

“Twilight…” Matt’s face gets serious, “I am sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it. Everything turned out alright, in the end.” she grins, “You have nothing to be ashamed of.” She taps him on the shoulder, giving him a friendly poke. “Hey, now is not the time to be thinking about this stuff. You’re married, you should enjoy it.”

“Oh, I’m definitely enjoying it. There’s no doubt about that.”

Twilight smirks, seeing her friend happily continue to look upon his wife with all the love in the world reverberating from his eyes. She looks over at the table, full of wedding gifts…but one is from her. Using her magic, she levitates it over to them, putting it on the table. The thunk the present gives off catches his attention.

“What’s this?”

“I wanted to give this to you now.”

“Twilight…that’s very nice, but…”

“Go on. Open it.”

Matt puts his mug down. He unwraps the bow, and opens up the paper. Underneath the wrapping, is a book; a rather large book called…

“The Unknown Mysteries of Equestria Revealed. By Twilight Sparkle.” Matt’s eyes light up, he looks over at her. “You finished it!”

“Actually…read a little bit further.”

Matt pulls down the rest of the paper. On tiny print, underneath the title, it reads…

“Volume One.” Matt laughs, “That figures.”

“You have the very first published copy. The rest will be shipped out to bookstores across Equestria.”

“A first edition? Nice. This is great, Twi. An Element of Harmony, a hero of Equestria, and a Published author! Are you going to sprout wings, and become the next Princess?”

“That will be the day.” she snickers, “Just so you know, chapter twenty is all about you and your species. I decided to keep some of the more embellished segments of the story you told me, in there.”

“I’m sure it will be quite the read.” He starts to open it, but she puts a hoof on the cover.

“Wait.” she stops him, “Don’t…read it just yet.”

“Why not?”

“I’d rather you wait…until the time comes.”

“That’s awful cryptic of you. Been hanging out with Princess Celestia lately?”

“Not since she and Chrysalis started doing things together. But, I do admit her more vague and mysterious side has been rubbing off on me.”

The fast paced techno beat stops. Almost with reluctance, Vinyl puts in a record with an especially slow dance song in it. The crowd separates, forming a large circle around Applejack, as she waits for her husband. Matt leaves the book on the table, fixes his tie, gives Twilight a nod, and walks into the circle.

He goes to Applejack, leaning down, and lifting her up to his level. The boots she wore on her forelegs fall to the floor, as she puts her hooves around his neck, and he places his hands on her waist.

“Ready?” he asks her.

“Always.”

The two sway side to side. The other stomp their hooves in applause at the two. They then join in on the floor; getting into couples, and doing their variation of the slow dance. Matt and Applejack continue to look into each other’s eyes.

“So…” Applejack talks, “What were you and Twi talkin’ about ?”

“It appears that our intrepid librarian is now a published author.”

“Really? That’s amazin’.”

“I know. She told me not to read the book though. Something about waiting for the time to be right. Very strange.”

“That is strange.”

“Enough about that. I want to know, is where you would like to go for the Honeymoon? Saddle Arabia? New Zebraland? I heard they shot Lord of The Elements there.”

“That sounds mighty temptin’, but I have one place already in mind.”

“Name it.”

“Our house.”

Matt cracks up, shaking his head.

“Are you sure? I really would like to see the world.”

“And we will.” she caresses the back of his neck. “Right now, I just want to spend the night with you. In our own bed, and with nopony to interrupt us.”

“You have no idea how I would like to plow through these ponies to get to our house, and do just that. But they are our friends.”

“You’re right about that.” she grins, “Best be patient. This IS a beautiful reception.”

“Only Pinkie Pie can turn a church into a dance floor in the blink of an eye.” He smirks. He thinks about her vows, and he wonders…“AJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Is what you said true?”

“What?”

“That you fell for me when I first came to the farm?”

“Every word.”

“What was it? It certainly wasn’t me getting tackled and trampled by Big Mac and the others, or me falling on my face, after trying to applebuck.”

“It was what you said afterwards.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said to me ‘Don’t use your fancy semantics to muddle the issue.’, when I laughed at you falling.”

“That was it?”

“Eeeyup.”

“Why?”

“It…reminded me of what I said, one time. Like I told you, I saw a lot of myself in you.”

“You know, I have to say, you really hid that crush well.”

“That’s surprising.”

“How come?”

“Because, I’m a terrible liar.”

Matt shakes his head with a chortle, “I must admit…you handled your crush a lot better than I did.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

The two laugh. He leans in, giving her a small peck on the lips.

Once the dance had ended, the guests moved to their tables for the dinner. Applejack, Matt, and their friends sat next to each other at the longest table in the front. While the rest were seated at their specifically assigned tables. The two Princesses and Queen got their own tables, so did various members of the Apple family, and there were a lot of those.

The meals were sandwiches, salads, and who could forget the apple pie, and assorted cakes? To top it all off, juice was given to the fillies and colts, while hard cider and wine were given to everypony else. It was a feast for everypony’s taste buds.

As everypony has settled into their seats, eating their selected food, Twilight stands from her seat, dinging the glass with a magically floating fork. Everypony was silent, and looked to her.

“I would like to make a toast, to the happy couple.” She raises her glass, “…and to tell a little story about my experience with them.”

“OOOOHHHH!!! OHHH!!!” Pinkie raises her hoof up. “Me too! Me too!”

“Okay, Pinkie. You can help.”

“Can I join too?” Rarity asks.

“Sure.”

“And me?” asks Rainbow Dash, “Fluttershy would like to join too.” Rainbow Dash looks at Fluttershy, who whimpers, but nods.

“I guess…”

“Don’t forget about Trixie!”

“And me!” yelled Lyra.

“Fine.” Twilight says, annoyed. “But let’s keep things organized.” She clears her throat. “When I first met Matt, I didn’t know what to think of him…”

“I thought he looked nice!” Pinkie interjected, “And REALLLYYY TALLLLL!!!”

“Thanks, Pinkie…”

“I thought he looked funny.” said Rainbow Dash.

“Yes…well…though he was a bit clumsy, and had a tendency to get hurt…”

“Like when Big Mac rammed him like a speeding train.” said Applejack.

“Or when I accidentally dropped a satellite dish on his head…” Fluttershy timidly whispered.

“Don’t forget the time I threw him into a tree.” Trixie said, everypony looked at her. “What? He didn’t tell you that story?”

“He told me.” smiled Applejack with a wink. Trixie winked back.

“Yes….anyway…” Twilight continued, “Over time, he became a valuable friend, and subject to my studies. But, I never thought that he would ever find himself in the hooves of a pony.”

“Until I came along, and made out with him.” Lyra joked, creating uproarious laughter. She wasn’t afraid of making fun of herself. “Seriously Matt, I’m sorry about that.”

“That’s okay, Lyra.” Matt nodded to her.

“But..” Twilight gets to finish her thought, “I couldn’t think of anypony out there more suited to be his very special somepony, than Applejack.

“Yay.” Fluttershy silently said. Those who heard her responded with a hearty chuckle, followed by an applause of hooves.

“Applejack…” Twilight looks to her dear friend, “You are a strong, tough, funny, and loyal mare, who deserves all the happiness in the world.” Applejack tears up, “Watching you here and now…”

“Wearing the perfect wedding dress. Which I made of course.” Rarity interrupted. Twilight shakes her head with a smile before continuing.

“Yes, wearing a beautiful dress, and sitting with your true love, I say, without any shred of doubt, that you are the luckiest mare in all of Equestria. Matt…” She look into his eyes with a grin, “You take care of her, now. She’s one in a million.”

“No…she’s the ONLY one…” he raises his glass, while the others ‘awwww’ in response. “…and, I will.”

“Too Matt and Applejack.” Twilight raises her glass in the air.

“TOO MATT AND APPLEJACK!” The rest call out, clanging their glasses together in celebration, before taking a big swig of their drinks.

It is now the middle of the night. Matt carries Applejack all the way back to their house, the party back at the farm is still going strong, with the music being heard blaring from far away. However, these two have other plans; plans that involve them being alone together. Matt opens the door, as Applejack laughs in his arms, both are tipsy from the cider drinking, but nowhere near as drunk as they could be.

Using a free foot, he kicks shut the door, and rests his back on it, catching his breath.

“Ya need any rest there, sugarcube?” she asks him. “You were runnin’ to get here.”

“Rest? Me? Never.” he says with determination. He carries her all the way up the stairs, and into the bedroom. With a final push of his strength, he throws her onto the bed, as she lets out a surprised yelp, followed by a giggle.

In a rush, she pulls off her wedding dress, and he removes his jacket, tie, and shoes. They both stare at eachother, ready for the moments that are to come. He climbs into bed with her, moving to her side, placing a hand on her waist, gently caressing it. The lean in for a nice kiss.

“So, how does it feel to be married to a pony?” she wonders.

“It feels great. How does it feel being married to a human?”

“Like I’m on top of the world.”

They go in for another kiss, this time, more passion is put into it. They’ve done this song and dance many times, but even after all of it, they still have not tired of each other, nor will they ever tire of each other. He moves on top of her, as she holds him close to her.

“I love you, Applejack Apple.” he smirks.

“And ah love you, Matthew Williams Apple.”

“You see? Adding your last name to mine really IS not that silly.”

“And it better stay that way, too.”

“You have my word.”

“Good. Now come here you.” She brings him down for another night of love and passion. For the time being, their first night as husband and wife, was the best night of their lives.

Epilogue

For most of his life, Matthew Williams always dreamed of what his perfect life would be. He thought of being in Hollywood, on the face of posters and magazines, starring roles in movies, winning awards, making money, all the benefits an individual such as him would ever want. Never, in his weirdest or wildest dreams, did he ever think that his perfect life would involve him being happily married to a beautiful earth pony from another dimension…but it did.

It's been four months now, since Applejack and Matt tied the knot. Four months of being married, their love never leaving or dissipating; they were always in high spirits and wide smiles. He has become a full time employee at Sweet Apple Acres, helping the family with their applebucking, and storing of the apples. Ever since that day where he discovered that he had become strong enough to kick apples off the trees, he joined up with Big Mac and Applejack during the days where they need the extra help.

From time to time, they would check on Matt’s parents, visiting them on holidays like Christmas, or as Equestria would like to call it, Hearth’s Warming Eve. His Mother and Father were glad every time they came down to visit, receiving pictures of Matt and Applejack having fun in Ponyville with their friends. In turn, his parents would give them handmade sweaters and scarves, which came very much in handy when it would get cold on those winter nights in Ponyville.

Twilight Sparkle and Big Macintosh announced their intentions to finally be married, during a Hearth’s Warming Eve party, which everypony and Matt were ecstatic over. Plans are underway to make sure their wedding is perfect, including making sure the ceremony will be unexpected villain proof.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash have continued their relationship, which has finally become public knowledge outside of their group of friends. Before, it was just rumors, but once it was confirmed, everypony felt that it was a long time coming.

Pinkie Pie has continued to help out at Sugar Cube Corner, serving the best pastries in all of Ponyville, and possibly Equestria. Her handling of Applejack and Matt’s wedding has now turned her into the go to pony for such occasions, which she is more than happy to oblige.

Rarity and Donut Joe are still together, even when they spend much time apart, when Rarity goes off to fashion shows, getting all the attention that she deserves. One day, during an event, Donut Joe surprised her in the hotel she was staying at, wearing the tux that won her over, and a box of freshly made donuts. It was the most romantic gesture she had ever received.

Trixie has quit from her job as the Hot and Sexy Trixie, and has reformed back into The Great and Powerful Trixie, making a living at becoming an entertainer for foals at their birthday parties, which she is paid good money for. She has also taken Donut Joe’s advice, and has become an aspiring actress. She is currently cast as the mare lead in Transformares 4.

Shining Armor and Cadance’s marriage continues to be one of happiness, though every time they have too much hard cider, they wake up the next morning with Trixie at their side. Neither one of them is entirely sure how that happens, but in Trixie’s case, she would like to continue it.

Chrysalis and Celestia are still together, and rule over Equestria during the day side by side as Princess and Queen. Luna would be glad for them more, if they kept the noise of their activities down during the day, while she tried to sleep.

Lyra finally found the pony of her dreams…it was Spike.

One Sunday spring morning, Matt stands in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for himself and Applejack. A morning meal of cereal, eggs, and a fruit salad bowl, topped with a healthy dose of applejuice. Applejack walks downstairs, watching her husband finish up the delicious looking meal, but she is in less than high spirits. She had been waking up with nausea in the mornings, making her feel very ill. However, it disappears almost as soon as it starts. She hasn’t told Matt yet, afraid that he might worry over nothing. Today, she plans to go to the doctor.

Matt turns to see his beautiful bride watching him cook.

“Good morning, AJ.” he says with a welcoming smile, “I made eggs, and a fruit salad.”

“It looks delicious, but I’m not hungry.”

“Is everything okay?” he turns off the stove, giving her all his attention.

“I don’t want to worry you, but I’ve been not feeling well for the past couple weeks.”

“What?” he goes to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t want you to panic. It’s just a dizzy spell during the morning. It goes away after a couple hours, and then I’m fine.”

“That sounds bad.” he over exaggerates, “You should see a doctor.”

“I am. I’m going to Ponyville General right now.”

“Okay. Let me get my shoes on and…”

“No. It’s fine. It’s probably just that time of year. The transition from winter to spring is always the hardest.”

“Are you sure?” Matt is hesitant to let her leave the house by herself, “I really don’t mind coming with you.”

“I know you don’t.” she puts a hoof on his cheek, “But I’ll be fine. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“You promise?”

“Cross mah heart…”

“And hope to fly.”

She smiles, giving him a nice kiss on the lips.

“I love you.” he says.

“I love you more.”

Applejack walks out the door, leaving Matt alone in the house. Reluctantly, he goes back to finishing his eggs.

Matt spends the rest of the morning by himself. Eating his breakfast, saving some leftovers, just in case Applejack gets her appetite back, and cleaning the house.

Once he was done, he sat down on the couch turning on the television. As he flipped through programs, such as The Ponies Court and the latest Con Mane film, he stops at Access Applewood, where Trixie is talking about her role in the upcoming Transformares sequel. In pure Trixie fashion, she boasted about her acting talent, not caring who challenged her. Matt chuckled at her, knowing that she will never fully change, and is all the better for it.

It was then, the events of the morning played out in his head.

“Nausea in the morning…” He thought to himself, “Dizzy spells....that sounds like morning sickness…could…” He goes through all the possible scenarios in his head. Only one makes sense, but he shakes it off. “No…it’s not possible.” He tries to watch the television some more, but the thought still circles around his head like birds.

He looks to the bookshelf, where Twilight’s book sticks out like a sore thumb.

“The right moment…” he says.

Matt gets up, and takes the book from his shelf. He goes to the kitchen table, and slams the book down, opening to the first page. On it, a note from Twilight:

Dear Matt,

If you are reading this, then the time has come. Your chapter is on page 336, the information you are looking for, is on page 358.

I am sorry for lying to you, and I hope that you can forgive me, in time.

Your good friend,

Twilight Sparkle

PS. If I am correct, I better be the first to know.

Matt raises an eyebrow, confused about the note. Quickly, he flips through the book to his chapter, and the page with the information he wants. His gaze falls on a subchapter, and his eyes widen.

GENETIC COMPATIBILITY

Matt reads the chapter.

During my studies of the subject, one thought crossed my mind. Being the only human in this world, I began to wonder if the subject would be genetically compatible with any other species on this planet. Using a sample of the subject’s blood, I compared it with all the other specimens that I could get my hooves on.

“How did she get my…” He thinks back to the day when Spike attacked him. Twilight put the blood soaked cotton balls into a bag. “Oh.” He continues reading.

Upon further investigation, I found that the human’s DNA contained 23 pairs of chromosomes, 46 in total. Comparing it to the other samples that I had…only one was a precise match.

The human is genetically compatible with the pony species.

Matt’s jaw nearly drops to the floor upon reading that last sentence.

While this was an exciting development, the question remained; if it is possible for a human to conceive a child with the pony host, will it be born as a human baby, or a foal?

Thanks to additional research from my colleagues in Canterlot…

“The Princesses…” Matt smiled.

…we have discovered that while it will be rare for a human to impregnate a pony host, it is not out of the realm of possibility. If the two are in an active relationship, the likelihood that the mare will become pregnant will get higher and higher.

“Holy shit…” Matt exclaims under his breath.

However, that does not solve the dilemma. Will the child be human, or will it be a pony? On that, my colleagues and I cannot decide. On one hoof, it is possible that the resulting child could be a human, but on the other, it could be a pony, and somewhere in between, it could very well be a combination of the two.

While I lack in conclusive evidence, permit me to give you, the reader, my personal theory.

With regular pony conceptions, it is always the mare’s genetics that will ultimately decide just what the child will be, either a filly or a colt. My theory is that it will be no different, with a human’s…essence. It is she who will carry it, and it is she who will decide what it will be. The human does not have our quicker than normal healing, nor is he as strong as the average pony. In the end, the pony genes will ultimately outweigh the human’s, and the baby that will be born…will be a foal.

This is all theory, and I hope that one day…we will have our proof.

Matt freezes in place as he reads the end of the subchapter. Could it be? Could Applejack really be pregnant?

The door behind him opens slowly, and Applejack walks in with hesitation and caution. Trouble adorns her face, as she looks at her husband at the table, with his back turned.

“Matt?”

He turns to face her. He sees the look on her face.

“Is everything alright?” he asks her.

“Well…I’m not sick.” she pauses, “It’s just…I’m…”

She doesn’t need to let one more word out; Matt knows just exactly what she’s going to say. He reacts accordingly and appropriately.

“Oh my god…” he rolls his eyes back, and falls on the floor with a loud THUD. He has passed out from shock. Applejack rushes to his unconscious body.

“Matt!” she yells, kneeling down, tapping him on the shoulder. “Matt, can you hear me?” she shakes him a few more times, and extra rough. After a while, he slowly opens his eyes. “Oh my goodness, you scared me there.”

“Are you pregnant?” he asks her without anything close to a warning. She pauses.

“How…how did you know?” she confirms.

“Okay, I’m going to pass out again.” He’s about to close his eyes.

“Don’t you dare, Mr. Apple!” she tells him. His eyes snap open again. “How did you know?”

Matt glances up at the book.

“Twilight’s book. It said that we’re genetically compatible…if we’re in an active intimate relationship…which we definitely are.”

“Are you mad?” Applejack’s eyes begin to tear. Matt puts his hands on her cheeks, giving her a reassuring smile.

“Mad? Mad is the farthest thing that I am feeling right now. Mad isn’t even in my current hodgepodge of emotions!” He laughs. Tears come from her eyes, as she beams with happiness. “How far are you in?”

“The doctor said that I just passed my first month.”

“What? How did we catch it so late?”

“Ah don’t know. We were so caught up with the holidays, that I didn’t realize that I hadn’t menstruated…”

“AH LALALALA!!!” Matt plugs his ears, “Too much info!”

“This is serious!”

“I know.” he chuckles, “I’m just playing.” He looks down at her stomach. Gently, he puts his hand on it. She giggles. Still ticklish. “What is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is it a human, or a foal?”

Applejack grins. “It’s a foal.”

“Then Twilight was right. She said that your genes are stronger than mine.”

“Are you disappointed that your child will be a foal?”

“What are you talking about? The foal will be yours just as much as mine. And disappointed? Heck no! Human babies are weird looking! Foals are adorable!” They laugh.

Applejack’s laugh soon turns into sobs, tears of joy streaming from her face. Matt holds onto her tightly.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” he asks.

“Nothin’…” she responds, “I’m just so happy.” she rubs her head on his chest, “Ah always wondered what foal birth will be like.”

“I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.”

“What do we tell your parents?”

“We’ll tell them in due time. But, leave the interdimensional travel to me, for the time being. I don’t know how it will affect the baby.”

“Deal.” she chuckles, “I bet Twilight’s going to love this. What do we tell the others? What do we tell the Princess?”

“They will be fine, like they always have been. Right now, there’s nowhere I’d rather be, than here with you.”

“On the cold wooden floor?”

“Exactly.”

She agrees with him, holding on to him with a lovingly tight grip. He caresses her back, kissing the top of her head. She moves up, and locks lips with him. It’s a great kiss…a romantic kiss. One that will rank up as one of their favorites in life. The two do not know what future will be in store for them. They don’t know whether the foal will be a filly or a colt. They haven’t even thought about names, or what it might look like. At this very moment, what they do know is that they have created life together, despite everything that had been told to them before this day. And, that no matter what happens; they will always have each other.

“AJ?"

"Yeah, sugarcube?"

"I think I’m going to like it here.”

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed "My New Life In Equestria". If you would like to see more, here is the sequel, entitled "She's Having A Foal ".