Rarity had woken up one morning to find Anon hogtied on her kitchen floor with duct tape over his mouth; the letters I.O.U scribbled and signed R.D in black marker over his barrel. Rarity knew this colt could be a handful with his ludicrous tales of his ‘other world’ and immature behaviour, but she specifically told Rainbow Dash she would be busy all week. So why oh why did she have to dump him here?

It was tempting to simply step over Anon, get herself breakfast, and get started on her work. But Sweetie Belle was staying with her for a couple days. No doubt she would find Anon eventually, and Rarity didn’t want to deal with the barrage of questions that would follow. She would just have to bite the bullet on this one.

“Forgotten your manners with Rainbow Dash again, have you?” Rarity asked sarcastically, untying him with a swift flick of her magic and ripping the tape off his mouth.

Anon stood up with a scowl, rubbing his sore forelegs from the ropeburn. “I was simply complimenting her wings in the language of the griffons. She used that as an excuse to say I was trying to offend her.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Darling, while I applaud your effort to study a new language, Rainbow Dash is quite fluent in Griffon. She does have a griffon friend after all. So I’m sure whatever it is you said to insult her, she understood it perfectly well.”

Anon’s eyes widened as the realization dawned on him. “Oooooh.”

“Yes,” Rarity said with a curt nod. “Oh, indeed. Now I take it you haven’t eaten yet?”

“That depends,” Anon replied, glancing around the tidy kitchen. “Whatcha got up in this bitch?”

Rarity’s expression froze. Her eyes narrowed at the foul language coming from the young colt’s mouth. Patience, Rarity, she told herself. Have patience with him. He’s just a colt. It’s not his fault he’s like this. But still, she couldn’t ignore the fact that his behavior was completely inappropriate.

“Anon, I must insist you take care not to use such language in a ladies presence. Especially when you’re a guest in her own home!” Rarity said sharply, her eyes glaring at the green colt.

Anon shrugged. “Even here a guy can’t speak what’s on his mind. Words don’t mean anything unless you give them power. Besides, it’s not like I was saying something actually offensive like if I called you a-“

Rarity swiftly pressed her hoof over Anon’s mouth. “An example will not be necessary! Now, I have a very important question for you, young colt. Do you know what the word 'respect' means?”

“It’s what you give to someone when you’re afraid they’re going to kick your flank, of course. Or if they have money and you really want them to share it.”

Rarity’s grip on her temper was slipping. “That is not what respect means, Anon. It’s about showing consideration and esteem towards others, regardless of their social status or wealth. It’s about being polite and treating them as equals.”

Anon shrugged. “Eh. I’d much rather be feared. Now about that breakfast?”

Rarity closed her eyes and counted to ten. It was clear that Anon wasn’t going to learn mnnerw unless she taught him. She gestured to the kitchen. “Alright, why don’t we make breakfast together while I explain the concept of respect to you?”

“Or- or- Put a pin in it- You give me some bits and I’ll go get myself breakfast at McBuck’s!” Anon suggested, trying to wriggle out of his impromptu lesson.

Rarity held strong. “No, Anon. This is your opportunity to learn something important.”

Seeing that the drama llama wasn’t going to give in, Anon followed Rarity into the kitchen. She began explaining the importance of respect as they gathered ingredients. Anon became dead inside as she drawled on about the importance of saying please and thank you. It was like he was back on earth listening to his grandmother go on about how she invented the measuring system. It was boring then. It was boring now. He was about to try and sneak off but then Sweetie Belle bounded down the stairs.

"Hi, Rarity!" she said cheerfully, then smiled upon seeing Anon. “Anon! What are you doing here?”

Anon gave a half-hearted wave. "I'm... uh...uh…"

Well, little miss! I’m here trapped with your prissy sissy as she goes on and on about how respect will get me so far in life your sunny butt princess will want me to make a proper mare out of her emo sister! But as tempting as that sounds I’d much rather be munching on an Egg McMuffin at McBuck’s but alas! I’m forced to slave over a hot oven wishing I had my fingers again so I could blow my brains out with a shotgun! What’s that you say Rarity? What’s a shotgun? Well, shucks I guess that’s even more bad news for me! Might as well stick my head in the oven and burn in agony! What’s that, Sweetie Belle? Ponies are flame retardant! Well, fu-

“Anon,” Rarity spoke, interrupting his train of thought. “It is rude to space out when a lady is addressing you!”

Anon blinked and gave his head a good shake. “Sorry, Sweets. Rainbow Dash was busy today so Rarity’s playing as my babysitter. And she’s giving me a life lesson as we make breakfast.”

“Ooh, that sounds like fun!” Sweetie clapped her hooves together.”What are you making? Can I help?”

Rarity gave a hearty smile at Sweetie Belle’s enthusiasm. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to have her little sister’s help to show Anon proper etiquette. Plus, it might lighten the mood a bit. “Of course, Sweetie. We’re making Fritatta. You can get the eggs cracked. Anon, please retrieve the goat cheese from the fridge.”

Anon turned to the fridge, he couldn’t resist muttering under his breath. “Good thing you told me to get it from the fridge. I was gonna look in the broom closet.”

Taking a block of cheese out, Anon brought it over to the counter. He frowned upon seeing he was too small to put the cheese up there himself. He tapped Rarity on her shoulder. She looked down at him with an expective look. “Rather than touching a lady, the better way would be to say, ‘Excuse me, Miss Rarity’ And I’ll be delighted to hear your request,” Rarity said, hoping her lessons were getting through to him. Though, she didn’t want to push him too hard. She accepted the cheese.

A second later, Anon found the cheese back onto his hoof. “No, darling this is blue cheese.”

Anon rolled his eyes heavenward, his teeth grinding together as Rarity corrected him for the umpteenth time that morning. He went back to the fridge his hooves stamping the floor with a little more force than necessary. Swapping out the cheese for another he brought it back to Rarity’s side.

“Excuse me, Miss Rarity,” Anon said with forced politeness, holding up the cheese. “I have your cheddar.”

Rarity thanked him and levitated it up to the counter. Before Anon could put his hoof down, the cheese came floating back. “No, this is Paneer cheese.”

“Pan-what?” Anon squinted at the block of cheese expecting to find something about it that made it so special. Finding nothing, his temper reached the boiling point. “Oh for the love of God! It’s all cheese!”

“It’s not all cheese, Anon. There are different types for different recipes. Now, if you’d be so kind to get the goat cheese, we can continue without further interruptions.”

“I’ll show you, Anon,” Sweetie Belle offered with a kind smile.

Sweetie trotted over to the fridge, opened it and beckoned Anon to come closer. Accepting the lifeline to his sanity, Anon joined Sweetie and stared at the family reunion of cheeses. They aren’t even labelled dammit!

“Sorry about my sister,” Sweetie whispered, tapping on the cheese Anon needed. “I’ve been down this road with her before. She can be a bit... picky with things.”

”Yeah, she’s being a real bitch,” Anon said a little too loudly.

“What was that?!” Rarity called out, dropping the whisk in her magic and turning back to face the pair.

“I said I’m having a real itch!” Anon replied quickly, scratching at his neck.

Rarity looked to Sweetie Belle who forced an innocent smile, confirming Anon’s alibi. Rarity didn’t seem all that convinced, but she went back to her cooking. Anon gave a curious look to Sweetie Belle. He wondered why she covered for him when he insulted her sister. Sweetie Belle simply winked at him and went back to her own station.

Rarity continued to drone on about respect and how to be a gentlecolt as they cooked together. Anon nodded along, merely pretending to listen as he focused on the task at hoof. As they worked, the scent of the fritatta began to fill the kitchen, a blend of eggs, cheese, and vegetables that made his stomach rumble. Despite his frustration, he had to admit that cooking with Sweetie Belle was slightly more tolerable than listening to Rarity lecture him.

A sudden knock at the front door pulled Rarity out of her monologue. She glanced over her shoulder, a hint of irritation flickering in her eyes. "Who could that be? I don’t open for another hour. Sweetie Belle you’re in charge of keeping an eye on Anon," she ordered, trotting out of the kitchen.

“Yeah, whatever, you old skank,” Anon muttered.

Rarity poked her head back in the kitchen. “I beg your pardon?!”

“I said this old place is really swank,” Anon lied.

Rarity glared at him, knowing she didn’t mishear that one, but she chose not to address it. She had company after all.

“Just so you know, Anon,” Sweetie Belle said as she continued to work the stove. “The first two were free. But insult my sister again, and I might accidentally drop this hot pan on you. I know she’s really uptight but she means well. Now get the table set. Breakfast is almost ready.”

Anon made a show of bowing low to Sweetie Belle. "Right away, Chef Ramsay,” he grumbled.

Sweetie Belle tilted her head at Anon. "Chef Ram Say? Who's that?"

A devilish grin formed on Anon’s face as the memories of a certain show flooded his mind.

***

”I had a client in desperate need of my services at Carousel Boutique," Rarity told her circle of friends. “She needed a tear in her dress mended immediately. Of course, I obliged. And as I’m fixing the dress, I hear Anon screaming and yelling all kinds of nonsense from the kitchen!”

“What kind of things was he yelling?” Twilight asked, not really wanting to know.

“Well, I can’t remember everything he said in his hurricane of words…” Rarity said, easily recalling the embarrassment. “But I remember him yelling things such as: Where’s the lamb sauce? It’s raw! It’s, expletive, raw! Expletive, expletive, expletive…”

“Oh my!” Fluttershy squeaked, her hooves covering her mouth at Rarity’s recount of Anon’s tirade. “Just what was Anon doing to Sweetie Belle?”

“That was just my worry as I raced back into my kitchen!” Rarity continued, her voice rising. “There I find Anon holding two slices of bread between my baby sister’s head and demanding her to answer the question, ‘What are you?’ And she answers: an idiot sandwich! An idiot sandwich, darlings! He forced her to say it!”

The room was silent as the gravity of the situation settled in. Fluttershy looked horrified, Applejack's eyes narrowed in anger, and Rainbow Dash's grip on her chair tightened, Pinkie was biting down on her hoof, and Twilight still needed a minute to process the disturbing image Rarity had painted.

“Sweetie Belle must have been very upset,” Fluttershy said, feeling sorry for her and Rarity.

“Surprisingly, she found the whole ordeal quite amusing!” Rarity corrected, her face changing from anger to bewilderment. “Clearly Anon is a bad influence for her!”

Nopony at the table had an answer to that statement. They all looked at each other, wondering the same thing: did Sweetie Belle actually like Anon’s antics?

Twilight found herself feeling a little happy about this. Anon may have made a friend. She just hoped Sweetie Belle could help put him on the right path rather than becoming his partner in crime.

But for now: Score one for friendship!

Author's Note

I wonder who’s gonna be the next one to share their story of Anon?

Don’t want to forget a certain idea so I’m putting it here in code: Please, Love Me!