Chapter Three

Lofty Ideas, Learning Holiday

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Heartbreak took a deep breath. She was in no way equipped to deal with her own existential crises, let alone three hyperactive little fillies who had yet to even earn their cutie marks or
form their identities.

“For fun?! Numbers aren’t fun!” Scootaloo crossed her hooves and frowned. “How can something be useful and not exist?” She asked while glaring at the worksheet that she had put so much effort into already!

“Lots of things that are useful ‘don’t exist’,” Heartbreak said, her voice trying to panic as she tried to think of a way out of this. “Outside a concept,” she quickly tacked on. “Lots of things that are useful don’t exist outside of concept.”

She hoped that repeating the full phrase would somehow get the idea across to these young, highly impressionable, fragile minds. However, the chin tapping, ear dipping, and head-tilting though cute as it was seemed to convey the opposite.

“Right... Math can be used to describe things- how long, how fast, how much-” Heartbreak tap-tap-tapped her hoof on the ground. “Like... if you’re going down the street on your scooter, how long is it going to take to get from one end of Ponyville to the other?”

“Uhm... It depends?” Scootaloo said, uncertainty in her voice.

Heartbreak cocked her head and smiled a bit. “Depends on what?”

“What road are we talking about? What time of day is it? Am I in a hurry?” Scootaloo asked back.

Heartbreak nodded. “All those are great questions, but why are they the questions you’re asking?”

Scootaloo frowned. “You’re the one asking me!”

“... Yeah... I’m trying to get to a point by showing how you get from point A to point B. The first things you asked were ‘which road’, ‘what time’, and ‘am I in a hurry’ which is sorta like ‘how fast am I going?’” Heartbreak said thinking about how she was going to get somewhere with all this. “Right now, you’re doing math without even thinking about it! Which road? There are different roads with different slopes and shapes that you’d have to think about how you’re going to maneuver about. What time? Different times of the day have different challenges and different amounts of traffic to compensate for. And if you’re in a hurry, if you’re going faster, then you’re going to get there faster, and thus it’s gonna take you less time!”

The three fillies paused to process the progress of information that had just been dumped on them.

“Huh... I never thought about that before...” Scootaloo said. “I’ve just always... done it.”

“Yeah! You’re relying on muscle memory because you’ve done those things so many times that it’s like second nature to you, right?” Heartbreak asked. “You’ve done it so often that your brain is already ‘doing the math’ without you even thinking about it! We use math to describe the how’s of everything. It’s in everything and can be used to calculate everything. Even living things like trees or even the complexity of abstract art!”

“Calculate livin’ things?” Apple Bloom asked with a disbelieving tone. “How would that work?”

“Uhm... how to...” Heartbreak looked around frantically before looking up at the large oak nearby. An idea popped into her head. “A tree is made of more trees.” Heartbreak said, feeling as if she were grasping at straws.

“What?” Scootaloo asked, clearly baffled.

Heartbreak quickly turned to Apple Bloom. “What happens when a tree falls down and the roots are still in the ground?”

Apple Bloom guffawed. “We go an’ get Big Mac ta pull it up an out!” she said as if it were the answer to the silliest question ever. She then took a drink from the now mostly melted apple juice.

Heartbreak held her tongue in frustration for a moment before trying again. “Right, but let’s say for the sake of this thought experiment-”

“What’s a thought experiment? It sounds like an experiment that you just think about...” Scootaloo chuckled, partaking in her drink which she had to sadly admit did taste more than a little watered down.

“Actually, that’s pretty close!” Heartbreak said willing to take any win at this point. “It’s an experiment that you run in your head based on the available information. In this case, a tree that’s been knocked over, has its roots in the ground, and-” she looked at Apple Bloom again. “Has not been pulled up by Big Mac. What will happen to the branches of that tree?”

Apple Bloom paused, then looked down at the ground, tapped her chin, and scratched her head. “Ah ought to suppose that they’d still keep growin’, countin’ on nothin’ else terrible happin’ to that poor tree...” she said, swirling the content of her drink before raising it to her mouth and finishing it off.

“And thereby becoming the ‘new’ tree,” Heartbreak said. “Now, let’s say that this hypothetical tree grows to the height of the old tree, and by some bad luck, it too gets knocked over with the roots in the ground, it too will do the same thing again- it’s a tree made out of trees.”

The three little fillies blinked before going wide-eyed at that rather odd revelation.

“Whoooa...” They said in unison.

“Things like this happen all the time in nature; everything from trees to clouds to even songs follow these patterns, and when they do that where the big thing is self similar to small parts of itself, it’s called a fractal!” Heartbreak said with a great deal of restrained glee. “You yourselves can even make fractals!”

“What? Really?” Sweetie Belle asked, pulling herself out of the fog of ideas and numbers.

“Eeyup!” Heartbreak pulled the rectangular scratch paper that they had been using for Scootaloo’s homework.

“Great, are we going to do more numbers?” Scootaloo asked a bit snidely.

Heartbreak shook her head. “Actually, no. We’re going to be doing some folding.”

Apple Bloom tilted her head. “Foldin’?”

“Oh! I’m really good at folding!” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “Rarity has me folding reams of fabric all the time! Or when she’s really busy...” She laughed a little, an odd sadness in her body language.

“Well... Uhm, are you ok with folding the paper? It has be done in a very particular way.” Heartbreak said, desperately wanting to avoid sibling drama. “

“Ok!”

========

“So, fold the bottom corners to the top corners.” Yeah, there’s a powder keg best avoided. Don’t need to go into Rarity’s best and worst qualities as a sister. Nor do I feel like badmouthing any of the sister figures in these girls' lives. Last thing I need is to cause CrAcKsSs to form in their relationships.

Just show them this neat little trick.

‘While avoiding talking about the fact that you aren’t keeping your word to them about ‘crusading’ and using this all as a distraction to keep them from asking questions about the thing you can’t get rid of!’

‘Why not say it louder for the readers in the back, Gothy? I don’t think you hit that with your mallet hard en-’

“Like this, H.B.?” Sweetie Belle asks, a face full of approval seeking smiles.

I nod. “Yup. Now, can one of you two help her by creasing it down the middle so that everything is sharp and flat?” Crap, they’re looking confused again, here I go again having to expl-

“Oh, you mean like this?” Scootaloo steps up and makes a sharp crease down the middle of the paper. She turns to look at me for, you guessed it: My approval. “That’s what you mean, right?”

Give her a soft smile and nod, H.B.!

“Yeah, exactly like that... now... unfold it.” I’m sure they’ll find this next part boring... Well, the next few steps are boring, but it’ll ramp up pretty quickly. Like a good story really. Build off the base and then... “But keep the two sides perpendicular to each other.”

“Per... pen... di-” Scoots tries her hoof... yeah. Her hoof at the word. Thankfully, it’s Apple Bloom to the rescue!

“Perpendicular!” She says that with that country twang. “It means that one side’s up an’ one side’s flat! Like a pole in the ground!”

Scootaloo nods. “Oh... right. I knew that...” she chortles in a way that characters do when they clearly did not know that.

“It’s a bit of a mouthful to say, but it’s kinda fun once you get the hang of it... like a single word tongue twister.” That’s right, be gentle and encouraging and kinda fun, H.B.! Who’s gonna stop you?

‘You know who can stop you-’

“Per-pen-dict-ular... Perpendicular! Perpendicular!” Scootaloo sing-says, swaying side to side as if this one word was its own song.

“Right. So! This doesn’t look like much, just maybe just a corner, so the next step is to fold it again. So fold it back up and then just like before, fold the bottom to the top.” I hope I’m explaining it right.

“Like this?” Sweetie Belle asks, bringing my hope... fruition. I’m gonna use that word.

“Yup! Now, Scootaloo, crease down the middle again.”

There’s something oddly satisfying about watching her hoof almost glide down the paper, turning what was a round shape flat and taking on a clean, sharp, defined line...

“Like this?” She asks, jarring me out of my semi-fugued state.

“Yeah...!” I nod, blinking a few times. “Just like before, unfold it- completely that is, while keeping all those folds at right angles!”

“Perpendicular!” Scootaloo enthusiastically parrots doing as instructed. “Huh,” She tilts her head at the resulting folds. “Is this what it’s s’posta look like?”

“It looks like... a measurin’ cup from Granny Smith’s kitchen!” Apple Bloom ascertains. “That there bit on the end is the handle!”

I really have to wonder about the etymology of words in Equestrian vernacular and how they come to be. I mean, come on! The root of that word is hand! How the fet-fuck could it have come to be unless ‘hand’ was somewhere in the old pony lexicon!? ‘Handle’ obviously has the word ‘hand’ in it. I try thinking about saying it. Can I say it? Ugh... there’s an itchy-anxious feeling coming over me when I try even thinking about that.

Then again, what do I know? What with how many ‘horse sounds’ I've been making, every single equid has been making whinnies, nickers, and neighs while my brain is auto-translating! No... Life can ever be that simple.... Not for a pony named Heartbreak...

“It could also be a sports hat with a long bill!” Scootaloo suggests taking her turn to refocus my back to the exercise that I’m having them do.

“Or a fancy modern art chair!” Sweetie Belle suggests rotating it around.

I smile and nod, and Sam, seemingly feeling left out, scurries about my... muzzle-face and starts gesturing with his tiny clawed paws. I still don’t know what he’s saying. If I were to take a guess... something about...

“A place to hide?” I ask, feeling more than a little crossed-eyed.

Scootaloo giggle. “I would think that if you were a rat, every place can be a place to hide.” she says, before guzzling down what’s left of her drink. “Ah!”

“Ain’t that the truth!” Apple Bloom chimes in. “Ah remember this one time? A whole nest of them infested the barn! A.J. had ta callin’ exterminator pony named Buzz Killin’ton ta take care of ‘em! He had this big ol’ cat that when he went in the barn just a heapin’ helpin’ flood of most of even-”

Ope. I’m sure that A.B.’s Sudden silence has nothing to do with how Sam’s tiny claws have found a new home in my face-flesh or the trembling of my little rat buddy as her friends give her a bit of side eye while Scootaloo, of the three of them, coughs and gives her a small elbowing!

“Wa-” She doesn’t even finish that before her ears droop and her eyes go all sad. “Ah’m sorr’eh.... Ah didn’t mean ta upset Sam!”

========

“I’m sure that he’s alright...” Heartbreak reached up and poked about her mane. Right, Sam?” She asked, the hoof snaking about before giving up. “He’ll be back, I’m sure. Just gotta give him some time and of course, some treats.”

At the mention of treats, a little whiskered face popped out and chittered.

“See? He’ll be okay...” Heartbreak said, a little unsure. “Sssooo! Wanna see what happens when we fold the paper one more time?”

‘Sure’, ‘I guess so’, and ‘Okay!’ were the answers from the three fillies. They were more than a little surprised that H.B. wasn’t... too upset with them. After all, many adult ponies had scolded them for bothering their pets for less! Maybe H.B. was just like that... and the three of them collectively had to confess they were still interested in seeing where the mare was going with all this paper folding...

Sweetie Belle took the paper and refolded it back up before yet again, folding the bottom to the top. “There!” She nodded to Scootaloo who then began to do the crease.

“Whoa...” She said, her hooves pressing down just a little harder than before. “This feels...”

“More difficult?” Heartbreak asked, bemused as she siphoned the last of her drink through a straw. “Just wait until we do the final fold next time. It’ll be super hard and that’s because you can only fold a piece of paper on itself so many times.” she said with a satisfied gasp. “Don’t quote me on that, but I think it’s nine times...” She paused and tapped her chin munching on a little peach flavored ice. “I think. I could be wrong...”

“Alright... That oughta be enough...” Apple Bloom said, eyeing her fellow Crusaders hoofmareship. “Let’s see what we got here now...”

Upon unfolding, the once simple design took on a shape that only resembled the previous one if you were to look at a portion of it.

“Huh...” Scootaloo balanced the paper on her hoof. Now with more folds, the once flimsy and wobbly material now took on a more stable and rigid shape... “It... reminds me of... a snake?”

“Or... sort of the curls of a ribbon?” Sweetie Belle asked, tilting her head.

“Ah think it looks like a riverbend!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, tilting her head, poking at a corner of the results of their efforts.

Scootaloo looked at H.B. who had gained a bit of a smirk on her face. It felt almost odd for a mare of her age to delight in something so... simple as folding paper. ‘Then again, I know ponies with weirder fixations...’ she thought. “Let me guess, ‘One more time’?”

Heartbreak nodded. “Eeyup! Next verse, same at the first, just as... uhm, clean, and hopefully not worse!” the tan mare almost sang-said. “... not sure I like that... but I’m not going to include that in the book...”

“Book?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Something that Cream Puff and Pipsqueak suggested I do.” Heartbreak said, rolling her eyes a bit while waggling her hoof. “Write down stories, songs, or whatever to help me with my singing...”

Sweetie Belle looked excited. “Singing?”

“Uhm, I’ll tell you more later or after this. For now...” Heartbreak pointed back at the paper.

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Oh, right.” She said, once again folding the bottom to the top.

Scootaloo proceeded to apply her hoof to the middle of the paper to make the fold, only this time as H.B. had foretold, making the nice neat flush crease in the paper was so much more difficult! “Alright... I think I got it!” she said exasperatedly, letting go.

“Alright...” Heartbreak said, a bit of unease in her voice. “Let’s see it.”

Unfolding the paper the final time, the members of the CMC noticed that it went through all the prior stages: line, right angle, cup, snake, and finally...

“What in tarnation?” Apple Bloom asked quizzically.

The girls looked at what was a nearly confounding eye-boggling collection of right angles that, while containing some semblance of an ordered form, it wasn’t anything automatically recognizable.

Sweetie Belle tilted her head. “It... Looks like... a street map? But one that somepony didn’t finish, or from a really small town?” she finally decided.

“What... What is it? Is this that...” Scootaloo paused trying to recall the new word, this strange pony of many odd facts that she had dropped into her young impressionable brain. “Uhm... Fractcal?”

“Heh, close.” Heartbreak said, pushing up her glasses with the tip of her pencil that was still lodged in the hole in her hoof. “Fractal, and yes. This particular fractal is known as ‘the dragon curve’. On account that it looks like a dragon and it has... uhm... curves.”

“Yeah... It kinda does look like Spike if he was all curled up an’ his claw was above his head or sumthang...” Apple Bloom mused.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes tried to follow the paper’s edge, but every twist and fold and turn made her feel like the world around her was just as warped as that sheet of WhYtE. “That’s really... complicated!” she nearly cried out, heat between her hooves as she shook off Equestria’s tailspin.

“Oh, that’s nothing.” Heartbreak replied, still alit over this one interesting apt, repetitive mathematical exercise. “If we were to fold it upon itself again, it’d get even more detailed!”

The three fillies, though intrigued, found themselves starting to tire of all the folding and creasing and shared a fretful look between themselves.

“Buuut, I don’t wanna put you girls through any more folding, this was meant to be a crusader and honorary crusader member meeting after all,” Heartbreak said, once more reaffirming the ‘honorary’ status.

The girls let out the quietest of tiny sighs of relief.

“So I’ll draw it instead!” Heartbreak excitedly exclaimed, her muzzle going towards the marshmallow flap of her saddlebag.

“Oh! Uhm! Why don’tcha let me help with that, H.B.?” Apple Bloom asked, trotting up to the mare’s side.

“That’s very nice of you, Apple Bloom, but-”

“I want to help!” Scootaloo said zipping up and flipping the flap of the saddlebag up.

“What about me?” Sweetie Belle asked, attempting to push a small spark of magic out of her horn, only to get frustrated that nothing happened and grabbing for the sketchbook.

“Uhm, girls, you really don’t have to-”

It was however, too late as the three fillies each grabbed for the book, a book that after a small tussle, jumped out of the saddlebags and flew into the air!

Heartbreak let out a muted squealing not-quite-scream as her sketchbook fell to the ground on the spine causing it to fling open at a random spot, that unfortunately was covered in a number of odd drawings, and before she could even utter a ‘don’t!’, six curious filly eyes were already peering in.

Beholden unto them were sketches of ponies: some of them were earth ponies, five of them, but... among the group there were also a pegasus, a unicorn, and even an alicorn!

While each bore a different name that was drawn stylistically next to them, they all shared several common themes: brown messy manes and tails, tan coat, blue eyes, and an ominous pitch black broken heart cutie mark with varying WhYtE CrAcKsSs down the middle.

“What’s all this now?” Apple Bloom asked, narrowing her eyes at a pony in particular... a much larger, muscular... stallion? Who bore a striking resemblance to her brother Big Mac, that is if he hadn’t kept up on his mane and tail routine and hadn’t shaved for at least a month. “Heartache?”

Heartbreak gave an uncomfortable laugh, looking away. “Heh-haa... uhm... well-” She started biting her lower lip making an uncomfortable face. “It’s like a page of.... ‘What if’s,” she hesitantly said. “You ever wonder what it would be like to be... well... uhm...”

“Something other than what you are?” Scootaloo asked, pangs of sympathy in her voice. “Whoa! This CrashingHeart is using a cloud to get around?”

“Oh wow!” Sweetie Belle gasped pointing at the alicorn. “This...” She narrowed her eyes at the almost calligraphy nomenclature of a moniker as if it dared her to even attempt to pronounce it. “Princess La- La-”

“Lachrymose.” Heartbreak chuckled embarrassedly. “It means ‘to be sad’, like ‘melancholy’ or the like...” she explained, almost reaching out for the sketchbook in order to snatch it away.

“Princess Lachrymose is really pretty! I like the blue and gold in her mane!” Her eyes drift to the unicorn of the bunch, who bore a panicked wide-eyed terrified expression, as she seemed to be swarmed with an aura of black broken hearts suspended by a magical twinkling of the saddest blue. “Aw... Why’s... Heartacorn? Look so sad?”

“Ha-oh...” Heartbreak giggled in a questionable tone. “That’s because Heartacorn can’t use her magic without causing emotional damage to others.”

Sweetie Belle looked horrified. “She can never ever, ever use her magic... or she hurts other ponies?” she asked in a hushed tone.

Heartbreak nodded. “Emotionally, but yes. It’s like an extra power that I gave them. I gave all of them something extra.” She pointed at ‘CrashingHeart’. “Crashing here? Whenever she flaps her wings, it causes cracks in reality that take her to places she doesn’t wanna be, oh and any weather stuff she does also causes ponies to be super sad.

Scootaloo looked at her own little wings suspiciously. “That sounds... terrible.”

“Well... Princess Lachrymose needs ponies around to be sad otherwise her magic doesn’t work, and Heartattack writes poetry that when read out loud causes ponies, mostly unicorns, to suffer accidents.” Heartbreak moved her hoof over to the little filly. Around her left hoof was attached a black balloon with a white malicious face of cracks on it. “This is Young@Heart and she uses her balloon to inflict great sadness on those who cross her. Like... uhm... traumatic things from when they were young... but the balloon is like my... you know...”

“These drawings are really good, H.B.!” Scootaloo complemented, trying to steer things in a different direction.

“Pffft, hardly,” The tan mare almost said in a dismissive tone, only to have a rat tongue tickle her ear. “I mean, they're better than a couple of months agoooo-Gah! Sam! Stop that!” She sighed. “I mean, thank you, Scootaloo.”

“Ah dun’t understand sum’thin’” Apple Bloom began reading the tiny blurbs written next to each character.

“What’s that?”

“All these powers feel like curses... if these are like other yous, why make them all suffer too? Why give’m powers at all?”

“Well,” Heartbreak looked spaced out for a moment. “I guess... maybe for something to be different from me... or...” She paused contemplatively. “Maybe it’s a control thing. Like... I feel like I have had so little control in everything that’s gone on in my life... especially with last month... that wondering about a version of myself with added abilities or even an ability to retaliate,” She pointed at Young@Heart. “To have just a little more confidence,” her pointer pencil tip tapped on Sidheheart, “Or not even having to worry about... all of this... anything of this...” She sighed, pointing to Amoreheart. “It gives me some... semblance, an illusion of control... I guess…”

Apple Bloom head tilted, a sad somewhat confused look on her face. “Oh... Ah guess that there makes some sort of sense.” she said.

“I just think these are super cool, H.B.!” Scootaloo interjected.

Heartbreak sniffed and wiped some tears that were collecting in her eyes.

“Sum’than’ wrong, H.B.? Ah di’n’t upset ya did Ah?” Apple Bloom panicked, not wanting to add to the storm of whatever else was brewing in Heartbreak’s heart.

“Ah...” She sniffed. “No... just an intrusive thought from a rather unpleasant bright pink bunny living in my head is all.” Heartbreak admitted rolling her eyes before her face screwed up, an unexpected giggle ushering forward. “Saaam! Stop playing with my ears!”

“What’s an... ‘intrusive thought’?” Scootaloo asked.

Heartbreak looked away while tapping her pencil against the page of the book. “It’s... a thought that comes along that... uhm... well you think... but you know that you shouldn’t think... I think.”

Scootaloo’s ears drooped. “Oh... yeah, Those,” she said with dismay. “I know what those are like.” She glanced back at her wings and gave them a few quick flaps before looking back at H.B. “I wonder if I'll ever fly like Rainbow Dash... Or any normal pegasus.”

“I’m sure you will!” Heartbreak said with a rather sad smile on her face. “Just... uhm... gotta give it time is all.”

“What was your... intrusive thought?” Scootaloo inquired looking up at the mare who jumped at the attention suddenly drawn back to her.

“Oh! Uhm... It’s nothing important...” she mulled. “I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear about it.”

“Sure we do!” Sweetie Belle piped in.

Heartbreak tried to brush it off with a dismissive scoffing sound. “Really, it’s stupid and pretty depressing.”

“Part of bein’ a Cutie Mark Crusader- even an Honorary Cutie Mark Crusader is sharin’ with yer fellow Crusaders!” Apple Bloom interjected matter-of-factly. “An’ besides,” her little ears drooped. “If ah said sumthin’ that hurt yer feelings, Ah would like ta know- so that Ah can be a better leader!” she said, a beaming smile brightening her face.

Heartbreak grimaced and bit her lower lip cagily, however the little faces, bright, seeking eyes and sympathetic smiles seemed to be the exact key to unlocking that cage. “Fine...” she muttered looking down at the mix of grass and clover in front of her, prepping the words she would use to explain herself. “The thought was ‘You’re cool... for now’,”

“For now?” Scootaloo asked, her head tilting.

“Heh, yeah...” Heartbreak looked up distantly. “It’s like... When I was young, I didn’t have too many... fffriends... At least those that were my age. I would hang around with many of the older folk and talk with them. Most who were my age tended to... treat me poorly,” she confessed. “I was always about learning new and interesting things. Like what you’ve seen here, I’m like a storage bin of interesting if sometimes useless facts, thoughts, and ideas. Those I did befffriend? It wasn’t long before... They found me either too much or just too boring.” She hooved at the leaves a clover with the tip of her pencil. “It’s like... I was stuck at one age and everyp-pony else was able to grow up and grow out of all my little hyperfixations...” She sniffed and pushed up her glasses to rub her eyes.

When her spectacles were back in place, when she felt her little rat buddy hugging on her ear, and the emotional moment making its final pass, she looked at her fellow Crusaders whose faces told her that they were on the very verge of bursting into tears.

“See? I told you that it would be really sad,” Heartbreak sniffed and wiped her nose. “I can almost hear my mom’s voice saying that I’m having a ‘poor pity me’ mome-”

“We’ll never outgrow you, H.B.!” The three fillies said in unison glomping onto Heartbreak’s shoulders in a well meaning hug.

“Ope! Uhm thanks girls, but maybe don’t hug for, uhm, too long?” Heartbreak said panic in her voice. “You all do remember what happened last time, right?” her eyes glancing towards the ever present and looming branding.

“Oh... Right...” Scootaloo said, as she and her friends pulled away.

“Sorr’eh, H.B.” Apple Bloom said, walking backwards and almost stepping on the sketchbook.

“Uhm... Watch it there.” Heartbreak gently said. “So! Anything else you want to know about these?”

Apple Bloom looked thoughtfully at the open sketchbook. “Ah got another question... if all the them there are different...” She, much like her sister, rolled her hoof while tapping her chin. “Yous,” she highlighted, failing to come up with something better. “Then what powers does Heartache have?”

Heartbreak blinked and looked away. “Oh... uhm... none. He’s just me... but a stallion,” she replied rather anticlimactically.

This answer, however, didn’t dismiss the gear grinding on the little filly’s face.

“You... but like a colt?” Apple Bloom puzzled.

Sweetie Belle looked over at her friend, her ears folded with concern. “Is something wrong?” she asked.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with a version of you but a colt?” Scootaloo asked, tilting her head at the rather scruffy, scraggly, messy looking stallion detailed in lightly smudged graphite and colored pencils.

Apple Bloom’s ears suddenly perked up and it was as if a light went off in her head. “Hold up an’ apple buckin’ minute!” She clopped her front hooves before looking Heartbreak dead in the eyes, a smug grin on her face. “Skeeter roll learns ta shiver!” she exclaimed with no reference.

Scootaloo jumped back before looking confused at the bowed one. “What are you going about?”

“That bedtime story H.B. told us when we spent the night at her house! It was about us!” Apple Bloom said accusingly, while looking pointedly at the tan mare.

“Well, I mean, I don’t know,” Heartbreak sheepishly, waffling while pushing up her glasses and fighting a smirk. “I... well...” She bit her lower lip, but soon found herself crumbling under the gaze of the three fillies. “Yeeeah...” she finally admitted.

Apple Bloom, once again clopped her hooves together, this time pointing at H.B. triumphantly. “Ah knew there was sum’thin’ familiar about them characters!”

“Wait... how?” Scootaloo asked befuddled. “They all had different names!”

“Ah, come on now,” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, fighting the urge to tell her fellow crusader that this slow uptake was the reason she was lagging in school. “Skeeter-roll, Scootaloo, Silver Bell, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bud- Apple Bloom?”

Sweetie Belle’s face lit at the realization. “Oh yeah! And something that’s Elusive is a Rarity!” she looked up at Heartbreak. “Didn’t Skeetaroll look up to Rainbow Blitz?”

“Ah bet diamonds ta detrots that there Bud has an older brother!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, placing her hooves on H.B.’s cast to look her in the face expectantly.

Heartbreak nodded at Sweetie Belle’s inquiry while scratching an itch on the side of her face with the pencil nub. “Yeeah, his name is Apple Jack...”

Apple Bloom’s face dropped in shock and disappointment. “Fer reals?” she asked.

“Hey, I said that I like being creative, not... original.” Heartbreak half whimpered. “‘Apple Jack’ is a pretty gender-neutral name, but if it makes you feel any better. I haven’t any idea what ‘Big Mac’ would be named. Nothing I can think of really rolls off the tongue,” she lamented.

Apple Bloom looked pensive and thoughtful for a moment. “Uhm... Big...”

“Macantosh...a?” Suggested Scootaloo.

“Macarainia?” Sweetie Belle interjected.

“Nah, what would even a ‘Macarainia’ be?” Apple Bloom asked, looking at Sweetie Belle as if she had grown four more legs. “Big... Big...”

“Maybe change it to Large?” Heartbreak suggested.

Apple Bloom’s eyes once more lit up. “Wait! Ah got it!” She excitedly giggled. “Madeleine! Also known as Margret!”

Heartbreak blinked and nodded. “That’s actually pretty good. Ponies could call her ‘Large Marge’,” she smiled. “Seems we got the whole Apple family: Apple Bud, Apple Jack, Large Marge, and Ol’ Grampy Johnny Smith!”

“Oh! Can we do my family next?” Scootaloo asked, jumping in the air being caught up in the excitement of it all.

Heartbreak’s jaw dropped and she was stunned into silence for a few seconds. “Wait... you have a family?”

“Scootalooooo!” shouted a mare’s voice from afar.

“Uh, yeah,” Scootaloo sighed. “And there they are right now...” she replied, her ears halfway pinning as her name was called out once more.

=========

Holy shmits. Whelp, that rings the death bell for half a dozen fan theories that were living in my head. RIP Homeless Scootaloo! (Which honestly didn’t have much of a chance seeing that I’ve seen her room in that one episode), Orphan Scootaloo, and ‘Scootaloo is actually a mutated parasprite’, never stood a chance.

“Scootaloooo! Where are you?!” Calls out... a second mare’s voice?

The filly in question gets a panicked look on her face as she scrambles to gather her books and assignments. She places them in front of her before flopping in the grass, trying to look as if she’s been casually doing homework the entire time.

That’s when two mares who I definitely don’t recognize, trot up to the grassy knoll into view.

How best to describe them... Matching contrasts?

The mare on the right’s coat could almost be a near match for my own, but there’s a touch of more red... to it? Her mane is styled to be big with lots of curls that frames her face with a two toned red-orange. I would call her eyes a ‘smoky auburn’ maybe. She’s wearing simple flower earrings and of all things, especially in this weather, a scarf.

She has a skippership on the sea with a sun cutie mark and she’s... how to put it?... She’s roundish. I wouldn’t say ‘fat’ or ‘pudgy’ or whatever, but she’s... Oh there was a short story form webcomic that would fit these two to a T. Something about a lonely lady who was talking with a market researcher and the two eventually met and got into a relationship... Either that or the cat from one of my childhood favorites: ‘Catundra’... Geez, that’s a long and forgotten memory uncovered.

The other mare, a pegasus of white-pale-yellow, with a mane that I think is a mix of tones of cyan and the arctic blue color that you sometimes see in deep drifts of snow when they’ve melted just so-with eyes to match- has attributes that complement the other- that being that she’s tall and thin with a face that’s a little long and tired looking. Adorning her flanks is a spool of blue thread and a needle.

“Oh! There you are, slugger!” the more rotund one says, putting a hoof to the knot of her scarf. “We were looking all over for you! We were starting to get worried!”

Scootaloo looks a bit confused, her ears doing that one ear up and one ear down as she tilts her head. “Why? I left you both a note on the table.”

I feel a burning question in my brain about these two, but I don’t want to just outright ask it, just in case I’m wrong- I have been wrong about similar situations before, after all...

‘Like that one time at the werewolf larp when you thought that the transwoman was playing a gender bent character because she was early in her transition and then when she explained that she was trans, you wanted to curl up in a corner, cry, and then die? Haaaa... That was... Delicious...’

I can’t hold this in anymore. If I do, Goth Bunny will recall something else that will make me want to burrow into the ground.

“Sooo, Scoots got two moms?” I whisper to the side at what I hope is within Apple Bloom’s hearing range.

I hear an indignant snort and a hoof stomp on the ground.

“Excuse me,” the more motherly looking one says. “We’re Scootaloo’s Aunts!”

Whelp, I didn’t expect Scootaloo lore drops today, but here we are.

“Scootaloo has aunts?” Wait, wait, wait, wait! Excitement causes my hoof to jut up to the side of my face. “That means she has parents!” I suddenly feel the eyes of all the ponies gathered here looking at me as if I’m the craziest creature in the corral... and really? Who could blame them?

‘Yeah, you just fangirled over one of your favorite ponies getting a confirmed backstory! Oh, wowie! Goodie-goodie-gumdrops! Rapture! Joy! Equestrian Delights!’

Careful there, G.B... You’re really using up all your snarky ammo for the day... Really oughta save some for later in the afternoon...

“Oh course she has parents!” the yet to named warm color coated mystery aunt chides. “What, did you think she just popped into existence from nothing??”

Shit, shit, shit, ffffetlocks! I’m failing at making any sort of good first impression.

“Holiday, hun... maybe... tone down a bit?” The thinner and cooler color coat coded aunt asks, almost dutifully doting on the other aunt, a slender wing falling delicately on her back. “Scootaloo might not talk about us to her...” She hesitates when looking at me, and I can’t blame her. Even though I’m a mare... in appearance, I’m a strange adult that they don’t know. “Friends...”

‘Yo, dingbat, strange and ‘don’t know’ convey the same meaning. What, does your author get paid by the word or something?’

Can it, G.B.

Scootaloo gives a very preteen groan of embarrassment. “H.B. This is my Aunt Holiday-”

Holiday nods looking over the small mess we’ve made in the park. “Charmed,” she says curtly.

“And my Auntie Lofty.” She points to the respectively thin mare. “Aunt Holiday, Auntie Lofty, this Heartbreak, but she likes to be called ‘H.B.’”

“Yes, we’ve heard about you...” Holiday says, a suspect gleam in her eye.

“All good things, I hope...” comes the whimpering, hopeful pleading that is my voice.

Holiday gives me what is one of many of the plethora of responses that you learn to fear when moving to the midwest: A disapproving ‘Hmmm...’

“So...” She swirls her hoof at the little dragon curve, self cooling chest, and open sketchbook. “What’s all this now... and... how...” She turns to Scootaloo, who is at this point, grinning like the cat who ate the canary- wait, is that the right term? Whatever, her ears are folded down and her smile is accompanied by uneasy chuckles. “How is it helping Slugger here do her schoolwork? Schoolwork that she really ought to be doing in her room, I might add...”

“Well, uhm, I...” What the fet? When have I been this afraid to speak my mind? Normally I have a good sarcastic quip or retort or rebuttal!

This time however, I’m floundering!

“Beggin’ yer pardon, Missus Holiday, Ma’am...” Apple Bloom to the rescue, it seems! “But taday is a Cutie Mark Crusader-”

An almost involuntary ‘Ehem shoves its way out of my lungs.

“An’ honorary C.M.C. member meetin’ ‘n we thought it would be a good idea ta have it out here in the park, on an account of it bein’ a nice enough day an’ all.” She then turns on the charm and gives her that ‘cute’ smile. “Ma’am.”

Holiday hmmm’s again. “I can’t argue that it’s a nice day, a bit hot, however, that doesn’t answer my question about...” She picks up our dragon curve project... balancing it on her hoof... “All this and how it’s helping...” as she unfolds it, I can’t help but feel a pang of grief. All that effort the girls put into it! Gone in a few seconds... “This isn’t your homework is it?” she sternly asks.

“No!” Scootaloo exclaims defensively. “It’s just...”

“Scratch paper!” Sweetie Belle chimes in, popping into Holiday’s view. “H.B. was showing us a trick with it to... uhm-”

Guess it’s my turn to defend my actions in teaching- gasp! Mathematics! The scandal! Might I be pressed with stones for what could be witchcraft in this world?

“Multiplication by nines. Scootaloo was having trouble with it and... I showed her a trick that could help her figure it out.” Yeah... nothing malicious or dangerous going on here!

“Hmmm...” She gives the paper to Scootaloo and reaches for... My Sketchbook?! Oh-no-no-no-no-no-no! “And what about-”

“Wai-” My words almost leave my mouth, but fail to depart as I feel the sensation of something tiny thumping off my skull- there’s a fuzzy black- no, brown, object that flies through the air and lands on the open pages of the book being reached for. The hoof doing the reaching quickly pulls back and there’s a squeal of panic as Sam starts angrily chittering at her.

“Was that a rat I saw?!” cries out Holiday, who is now practically clinging on to the leg of equally startled Lofty.

Huh. They must be really good fffriends.

Before any of us can say or do anything, there's a sudden blur of rainbow and blue, a strong blast of wind that sends papers and pencils flying, my little furball being flung back into my hooves, and an all too self-assured sounding voice coming from the center of it all.

That voice of course being from none other than, sigh... Rainbow Dash.

“No need to fear!” she proclaims, strutting and flapping her wings, oh so... so... self-assuredly. I can’t think of another word for it. Confidence. Her wing flapping has an overconfidence to it. “Because, that’s right, I’m here!” she says this while almost stepping on my sketchbook!

Thankfully, I’m just able to snatch it by the corner with my mouth- ngh! -in the nick of time before she can crumple up my precious drawings or bend the cover, or worse; the spine, with her hooves!

Finally opening her eyes, she was able to read the room and see the hostility in the air. At least that’s what I think. With widening eyes, folded down ears, and her wings have lost their confidence before flapping with unease.

“Uhm... Did I miss something?” she asks.

Author's Note

And Chapter Three! Again, Scared Ghost and Psychopath were the ones to help me! The chapter art is here! More to come soon enough!!!