The Life I Lead

by ExtraSoap

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Romance, Slice of Life
Length: 9038

A friend of Rarity's with a troubled past visits Ponyville, both must relive a past neither enjoy

When a friend of Rarity's with a troubled past comes to the Boutique for help and Rarity takes him in, both must revisit a past both want to forget. And when the rest of the mane six get involved, it becomes both a learning and healing process for all involved.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-14 15:27:52 UTC

Chapter 1

A dark-pelted stallion shuffled down Mane Street looking more like a donkey than anything else, his head was merely inches above the ground, his eyes looking at the ground, flicking upwards to make sure his path was unobstructed, and his ears were flat against his head.  He looked horrible, his mane was filthy, and it was clear he had not had a proper place to live for a long time. Once he came to a sign pointing out the direction of certain landmarks around Ponyville, he stopped and pulled out a piece of paper from his saddlebag.  He held it in front of him, glancing from the paper to the sign.  After a minute of searching the sign for whatever his destination was, he sat down on his haunches and looked at the ground, defeated.  A passing lavender pony and her draconic assistant noticed him, and trotted up beside the stallion.  Looking down at him, she tapped him gently on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, are you alright?"  The pony looked up at her with an expressionless face and eyes that did not have any spark of life in them.  A jagged scar was present on his right eye, which ran from just above his eyebrow down over his eyelid and ended just below his eye.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you.  I just need to find-" he looked down at the paper again, "-Carousel Boutique.  Do you know where it is?"  His voice was thickly accented, indicating that he was from the northern region of Equestria, most likely Stalliongrad.

The lavender mare smiled down at the pegasus warmly.  "Why yes, I was actually heading there myself.  I'll show you the way."  The pathetic-looking pony nodded his understanding, but did not smile back.  He stood up on all fours and looked at the mare expectantly.  Puzzled at the stallions behavior, the mare looked back at him quizzically for a few seconds, then nodded in the direction of one of the streets.  "This way."  After trotting down the street for a while, she looked towards the stallion behind her.  "May I ask what you need from Carousel Boutique?"

The stallion shifted his gaze towards her.  "I'm a friend of the owner, and I need to ask her a favor."  He replied vaguely.

The mare's eyebrows shot up upon hearing this.  "You know Rarity?"  It was not only the mare who was surprised by this; her draconic companion suddenly seemed on guard, as if the stallion posed a threat.  He glared daggers at the stallion, who looked back at him with a quizzical look on his face, one eyebrow raised.

"Da, we met in Fillydelphia when she was in fashion school."  He shifted his gaze from the aggressive dragon to the mare.  "I figured I would give her a visit."

The mare looked pleasantly surprised to hear this, her ears perked up and she smiled warmly at the stallion.  "Well that's good to hear.  A friend of Rarity's is a friend of mine."  She stopped walking and raised her hoof towards the stallion.  "My name's Twilight Sparkle, the local librarian and a good friend of Rarity's."  She nodded towards the baby dragon on her back.  "And this would be Spike."  The dragon grunted his acknowledgement and avoided looking at the stallion.

The stallion stared blankly at the outstretched hoof for a full second before he reacted.  He raised his hoof to shake Twilight's outstretched one.  "Moonbeam Stygius."

Once they reached Carousel Boutique, the lavender mare knocked on the door.  "Come in!"  A sophisticated-sounding voice called out from inside.  Twilight opened the door and entered, followed closely by Moonbeam.

"Hay Rarity, I brought the book on sewing you wanted.  And I also found this gentlecolt out on Mane Street.  He says he knows you."  She gestured toward him, and Moonbeam walked out from behind Twilight, into full view.  Upon seeing the unkempt stallion, Rarity's eyes widened in surprise.

"Moonbeam?!"  She gasped,  "What are you doing here?"  The stallion's expression remained blank, in stark contrast to Rarity, who looked like she might faint.

"I would rather tell you in private, if you don't mind Rarity."  He shifted awkwardly.  This was not the kind of circumstance he had expected.

"Of course, dear."  She shifted her attention towards the librarian.  "Twilight, I'm so very sorry but this is a bit of an emergency.  I need to talk in private with an old friend of mine.  Leave the book over there and I will get back to you as soon as I can."  Spike's jaw dropped upon hearing Rarity's statement, and, noticing this, Rarity clarified.  "Spike, it's not what you think. I'll explain later."

Twilight, although puzzled by Rarity's reaction, obliged and left the Boutique with a curt nod.  Well that was strange.  She thought.  I figured Rarity would be overjoyed to see an old friend.  She seemed more... worried...

"Do you think this changes anything, 'Twi?"  Spike inquired, interrupted her train of thought.

Twilight craned her neck to look Spike in the eye.  "Changes what?"

"Well, y'know..."

Upon realizing what he meant, Twilight slapped a hoof to her forehead.  "No, Spike.  I highly doubt Moonbeam is any kind of competition for you.  He's a friend of Rarity's, that's all."

"But what if-"

"Spike. Drop it."  The little dragon obliged, and Twilight continued the walk to the library.

~~

"Well, now that you're all cleaned up, we can talk."  Rarity sat down across the kitchen table from Moonbeam, who had just gotten out of the shower.  He knew he was dirty, of course, but was still surprised by the amount of dirt and Celestia knows what else came off of him along with the water.  "What brings you to Ponyville?"

"Well..."  Moonbeam shifted awkwardly in his chair, avoiding Rarity's eyes.  "I lost my job, couldn't pay the rent, and I'm back to square one. Again."

Rarity was taken aback by this.  Not by surprise, but by the point the stallion in front of her was trying to get across without actually saying it.  "So that means-"

The stallion finally met her gaze, looking back at her with an intense look on his face.  "Da."

That one word, so short and concise, was exactly what Rarity didn't want to hear.  It confirmed that Moonbeam was in the same state of mind as when she first met him; depressed, a borderline alcoholic, suicidal, and the light at the end of the tunnel was nowhere in sight.  Rarity thought back to their first encounter, something she did not want to re-live.

~~

The park was on the outskirts of Fillydelphia, away from the noise and chaos of the big city.  Rarity trotted towards a bench located in a part of the park that was rarely visited, giving the white mare a perfect spot to clear her mind.  She sat down, relaxing and taking in the sounds of nature that she missed so much in the city.  The wind rustling the leaves on the trees, birds chirping their last songs of the day as the sun began to set, and the scent of freshly-cut grass.

It was good to get away from the constant stress of Fillydelphia and the fashion school.  Rarity looked around, taking in everything around her in great detail.  The marshmallow mare let out a satisfied sigh and leaned her head back, looking at the last of the sun's rays reflecting off of the clouds.  She always marveled at the wondrous colors and warmth that Celestia's sun made as it faded over the horizon, ushering in the moon.  As she stared upwards at the clouds, she thought she glimpsed the grey head of a pony peek over the far edge of a small cloud, but it disappeared before she could get her eyes to focus.

She shrugged it off as an optical illusion from the sunset, and once again let herself get lost in thought.  About ten minutes later, she saw something fall from the same cloud as before, and in the dying light made it out to be a pony.  Her heart skipped a beat, and, without thinking, bolted from the bench to where the pony was falling, about fifty yards to her right.  It was a long fall, and by the time Rarity got there she could make out the pony in more detail.

It was a pegasus with his wings tied down, and he looked strangely calm, considering he was falling to certain death.  He wasn't flailing about, his head was pointed down towards the ground, his eyes narrowed and his face scrunched into a look of intense determination.

Rarity reached where she thought the pegasus would land, but she quickly realized that there was little she could do for the pony.  She couldn't catch him and expect to survive, and he was falling so fast that it would take an enormous amount of concentration and willpower to even slow him down, let alone stop him.  She feared that this was beyond her capability, and she looked up at the stallion and realized he was no older than her; barely out of his teens.

A sense of sheer helplessness washed over her, and she looked as the stallion grew closer to the ground with startling speed.  This stallion, with an entire life ahead of him, was falling to his death and she couldn't do anything about it.  The sorrow and weakness she felt was replaced with a fierce determination, and a flame of rage at whatever force caused such a young stallion to be in this situation appeared in her stomach.

Whatever happened, she wouldn't stand by while the stallion plunged headlong into the ground.  She reached out with her magic, surrounding the pony with an amount of energy that even Celestia herself would be impressed with.  As she felt the cocoon of aether completely envelop the stallion, she began to apply force on the pony, slowing him down, but not nearly enough to save him.  An idea popped into her head, and she turned the pony so that his broad side was facing down, increasing the air resistance and giving Rarity a chance at saving him.  She felt her energy draining, and quickly doubled her efforts, trying to beat not only gravity, but her own limitations as well.  Sweat poured down her face, something which she would usually not allow, but the circumstances called for certain sacrifices to be made.  As she slowed the descent of the pony, she realized that he was only a few hundred feet from the earth, and she let out an unrestrained pulse of magic towards the stallion, causing her vision to blur from the effort.  He slowed down considerably, but not enough to stop him from hitting the ground with a sickening thwack. Rarity could only get a brief look of the mangled but still alive pony before she succumbed to her exertion, and passed out.

Chapter 2

Rarity awoke in a hospital bed, initially unsure of where she was and why she was there.  As she looked around the hospital room, she noticed she was attached to an IV and various other machines meant to monitor her vital signs.  A nurse who was recording the numbers and figures from the machines on a clipboard noticed Rarity's movement, and smiled broadly at the bedridden pony.

"Well hello, sleepyhead.  It's good to see you're finally awake."

Rarity looked back at the nurse, trying to remember what had happened.  "Um, miss, if you don't mind, could you please tell me what happened, and how long I've been here?  I can't recall."

The nurse's smile dimmed somewhat, and she looked back at Rarity in silence for a short while before saying anything.  "Well, we don't really know what happened.  A guardspony on patrol found you and a pegasus in a park somewhere outside the city, both unconscious.  You were merely exhausted, apparently from magical over-exertion.  The pegasus, well..."   Her voice trailed off, and she looked away from Rarity, unwilling to continue the statement.

It was at this point that the events of the night before came flooding back to Rarity, and she clearly saw the pegasus's broken body on the ground.  She went limp, plopping her head back on the pillow as tears of sorrow and failure took her over.  The nurse tried to console her, but Rarity turned away, closing everything out as she wallowed in her misery.

After what seemed like hours to Rarity, she felt her bed being wheeled out of the room and down the hallway.  She buried her face in the pillow, unwilling to deal with the cruel world that had taken an innocent life, despite her desperate attempt at saving him.  The only thing going through her mind was the last few hundred feet of the pony's fall, analyzing what she could have done differently to change the outcome, but it always ended with the same result: the pegasus colliding with the earth with that dreadful noise on impact.  The noise kept playing over and over again, as the pony hit the ground with a thud followed immediately by the cracking of bones.  thuwack.  More tears fell into the pillow as she imagined how much pain the stallion must have been in during his final moments, considering a fall like that isn't guaranteed to kill instantly.  She felt the bed come to a stop, and heard the gentle whirring of various medical machines, along with a slow but steady beeping.  She thought that this was another room for recovered patients, and let one eye peek out from the pillow.  Once the room came into focus, she sat straight up in surprise and relief.  The only other occupant of the room was a pony shaped mass of bandages and casts, with only a few patches of grey fur and his face left uncovered.  Her jaw hung open for several seconds as she stared in shock at the pony beside her.

"He was in emergency surgery for five hours," the nurse from Rarity's original room stepped into view, "he's in a coma at the moment, but it looks like he might pull through."

It took a full 20 seconds for Rarity's mind to recover from the shock of the news.  She turned to face the nurse directly.  "So, he's going to live?"

The nurse nodded.  "It sure looks that way.  Dr. Trotter was able to save him in surgery, thank Celestia."  The nurses face grew serious as she looked into Rarity's eyes.  "You were trying to stop him from falling, weren't you?"

Rarity began to choke up, tears of relief streaming down her face.  She opened her mouth to reply, but no coherent sound came out, so she simply nodded.

"You could have died, Miss.  You almost fell into coma yourself, but luck was on your side and your brain stayed active enough, so you woke up a couple hours after you got here."  She looked over at the figure on the bed with a mournful look on her face.

Rarity simply nodded again, wiping away her tears.  She looked up at the nurse, and asked, "Do you know why he was falling with his wings tied down?"

The nurse simply sighed, and turned to Rarity with the same mournful look.  "He was trying to kill himself" she said sadly, and shifted her gaze toward the stallion.  "It's a common method, for pegasi that is.  We don't have suicides that often, but when we do and they're pegasi, that's usually how it's done."  She let out a melancholy sigh.  "But we almost never have them this young."  She looked back at Rarity.  "You saved his life, young lady, whether he'll appreciate it or not we have yet to see."  She walked slowly out of the room, and a doctor came in.

The doctor was an older-looking unicorn, with the typical white coat and a clipboard hovering just under his face.  His eyes scanned the paper on the clipboard for a short while, then he lowered the clipboard, and looked at Rarity appraisingly.  "Well, it looks like you're mostly recovered, Miss Rarity.  We just have to keep you for another day or two to make sure there are no anomalies caused by your exertion.  I'm sorry I didn't talk to you before, you were a bit... preoccupied."  Rarity simply nodded, and looked at the stallion in the bed next to hers.  The doctor followed her eyes, and shifted uncomfortably.  "We moved you here to try and calm you down, since you weren't listening when we told you he was still alive.  We decided to show you instead, but if you don't feel comfortable in here we can move you back."

Rarity looked at the doctor, her face expressionless.  "No, I'll stay here.  I want to be here when he wakes up."

The doctor nodded in understanding.  "Very well.  But don't expect him to be too overjoyed if he does wake up, failed suicides generally don't enjoy finding out they survived.  He'll be a bit hostile."

Rarity's face hardened.  "Well, I'm not exactly thrilled with him either, so the feeling will be mutual."

~~

A day and a half later, while Rarity was reading a book on the season's up-and-coming designs and styles that the nurse retrieved for her, she heard a groan come from the direction of the stallion.  Her ears perked up automatically to better assess whatever noise may come next, which was mumbling in a foreign language that she didn't understand.  She closed her book rather forcefully, letting out a loud pop.  She looked over towards the formerly-comatose stallion, who was looking around with a baffled look on his face.  Rarity sighed and decided to answer the stallions question before he could ask it.  "You're in a hospital, dear."

The stallions head swung over to get a better look at the source of the voice, which he saw to be a pretty white-coated mare with a purple mane.  As he looked at her, he narrowed his eyes when he realized that this was not where he was supposed to be.  "Why am I still alive?" He growled in a thickly accented voice, making no attempt to hide the anger in his voice.  The beeping of his heart rate began to quicken as he grew more and more riled up.

Rarity looked back at the stallion, her face expressionless as to avoid revealing anything too soon.  "Someone saved your life." she stated matter-of-factly.

Rarity didn't notice any change in the stallions demeanor, but his eyes seemed to flash with pure, white-hot hatred.  "It was you, wasn't it?"

Rarity only nodded, her expression remaining the same.

By this point, the stallion couldn't keep his anger inside, and he exploded.  "Did you not see what was right in front of you?! My wings were tied down for a reason, not for shits and giggles!  You didn't save my life at all, the only thing you accomplished was ruining my death!  I wanted release, and you decided to not only ruin that, but to hospitalize us both!"  When he finished, the stallion glared at Rarity, panting.  Before Rarity could offer a retort, the door to the room burst open, and a nurse and the same doctor as before appeared in the doorway.  The doctor saw that the pegasus was awake, and bolted to the stallion, who glared up at him.  "What do you want?"  The pegasus growled, his voice dripping with venom.

"I'm only here to ask a few questions, if you don't mind."

"Well I do mind, so get out of my sight."  The doctor nodded, unwilling to start a confrontation, and walked out of the room.  The nurse, however, strolled over and checked the IV and machines next to the bed.  The stallion ignored her and shifted his attention back to Rarity, who was sitting upwards in bed, facing the stallion.

Rarity decided to speak before the stallion started yelling again.  "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

The stallions nostrils flared, but his voice was relatively level compared to his previous outburst.  "But a solution nonetheless."

The nurse, who was previously occupied with checking the readings of a machine, stopped and looked down at the stallion, her face a mixture of disgust and anger.  "Look, kid.  That mare almost died trying to save you while you bullheadedly jumped off of a cloud at over 16,000 feet.  Did you even think about the consequences of suicide?!"

The stallion glared daggers at the nurse.  "Consequences?  Let me guess, you're about to lecture me on how devastated my parents would be, and how life is so valuable and is not to be thrown away.  Well let me make some things clear before you go make yourself look like an ass.  One: my parents live in Stalliongrad, which is where I am from.  I ran away because my drunkard of a father beat me daily, and my mother, who was also a victim of my father, died.  I had no friends, only bullies who made fun of my blank flank.  Two: I have been living on my own for the past ten years, never having a proper roof over my head.  I'm a street urchin who has to beg in the dirt all day for enough bits to buy just one meal.  ONE. MEAL.  And you see this?!"  He pointed to the scar running over his right eye with his one good front hoof.  "I got it my first night in this hellhole of a city.  I was twelve.  TWELVE!  Even the other lowlifes avoid me, as if I'm so unclean that I'm not even worthy of their presence.  Don't talk to me about what my life is worth"  He spat.  The nurse, who before had regarded the stallion as simply another attention-seeking teenager, looked shocked.  "You still gonna give me that lecture?" He sneered.  The nurse opened her mouth as if to say something, but no words came out.  She stood there for several seconds before wandering out of the room, still stunned.  He turned towards Rarity, who was also in shock from the story.  "And as for you, 'Ms. Hero,' I don't care if you almost died trying to save me.  I didn't want to be saved.  I wanted to end this pathetic excuse of an existence, but you decided to prolong it instead.  Now I'm probably going to have months of recovery from this, and an obscene medical bill to boot."  Tears began to pour down his face as his anger subsided and was replaced by the all-too-familiar emptiness he knew so well.  He leaned back in the bed and rested his head on the pillow, the tears flowing freely now.   "I just wanted to have peace and be with my mother."  He said in between bouts of crying.  He buried his face into his pillow as he gave up fighting the tears, and sobbed into it until he fell asleep.  His heartbeat slowly calmed down, before going back to a slow but steady rhythm.

~~

The stallion woke up to light streaming in through the window, and sounds of quiet crying coming from the other side of the room.  He rolled his head over to have a look, and saw a shell of the pony that was there the day before.  Her mane, previously curled and neat, was now a mess.  Suddenly he knew where the expression 'birds nest' came from.  Her makeup was destroyed from a night of tears running down her pretty face.  There were bags under her bloodshot eyes.  A pang of guilt stabbed at him, and he knew he went way too far the night before.  He cleared his throat.  "Were you up all night?"

The mare looked at him for a while, wiped her eyes and sniffed.  "Y- yes."

The stallion nodded, and looked towards the wall directly in front of him with a sorrowful expression.  "For what it's worth, I'm sorry about what I said last night.  You didn't deserve it."

The marshmallow mare wiped her eyes again.  "Apology accepted, but I don't really blame you, it sounds like you've been through quite a bit."

The stallion sighed and looked at Rarity, eyes downcast.  "I can't say I'm entirely ungrateful for what you did.  There was always a small part of me that wanted to see things through to the end, that believed that eventually life would get better.  The rest of me just wanted the easiest and fastest solution."

Rarity just looked at the stallion, a thoughtful look on her face.  "Was that a thank you?"

Despite himself, the pegasus chuckled a bit.  "Da."

"My name's Rarity, by the way."

"Moonbeam."

Chapter 3

Rarity was pulled back to the present as her flashback ended, and her eyes locked on the stallion across from her.  He was leaning forward in his chair, both elbows on the table, and his chin on his hooves.  "To answer your question, I came to Ponyville to try and have a fresh start again.  Figured I would at least give that a shot before I did anything stupid."

Rarity eyed him suspiciously.  "What do you mean 'before I did anything stupid?'"

Moonbeam rolled his eyes.  "Well, by stupid I meant something like establishing a branch of the government that deals solely with silly walks.  I'll call it the Ministry of Silly Walks."

Rarity slapped a hoof to her face in frustration.  "I see your sense of humor hasn't changed."

"You seem surprised."  The stallion stated dryly.  "Anyway, since you apparently need me too explicitly state everything I imply, I'll make it clearer: I came to Ponyville to see if you were willing to help me get back on my hooves, since that would be a better alternative to jumping off another cloud."

Rarity gasped, eyes widening in horror.  "Moonbeam! Don't talk like that!  I'll gladly help you get a job, I even have an extra bedroom you can stay in for a while, just don't say things like that!"

Moonbeam bowed his head, completely ignoring Rarity's reaction to his statement.  "Thank you Rarity, it means a lot to me that you are willing to put up with me.  I won't stay long, as soon as I can, I'll rent another place."

The fashioniesta smiled warmly at the stallion.  "Of course, dear.  Anything to help out a friend in need.  And if you want, I think the Weather Patrol has an opening, and a good friend of mine is on the squad.  I think you'll be able to get in rather easily, considering how good you are at flying."

The stallions ears perked up upon hearing this, which Rarity knew was a rare occurrence for Moonbeam.  "Rarity, you are honestly the most generous pony I have ever met.  I don't know how to thank you."

"Don't be silly dear, you don't need to thank me."  Rarity stood up and walked over to where Moonbeam sat.  "I just want to see you get better."  She pulled the stallion into an affectionate embrace.

~~

About an hour later, the pair stood outside the Ponyville Weather Patrol station, which sported a help wanted sign hanging on the door.

Moonbeam turned to face Rarity.  "So I guess I just go in and say I want a job, right?"

Rarity shrugged.  "I suppose, dear.  I can't say I'm very experienced with job hunting."

Suddenly, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane landed heavily between the two, prompting a yelp of surprise from Rarity and a raised eyebrow from Moonbeam.  "Sorry Rarity, I just woke up and I had to get here as fast as I could.  I'm so incredibly late."

Rarity face-hoofed.  "Rainbow, It's one in the afternoon!  Get an alarm clock for Celestia's sake!"

The pegasus mare shrugged in response, and turned to Moonbeam.  "Who're you?"

Before Moonbeam could respond, Rarity cut in.  "Oh! where are my manners?  Rainbow, this is my old friend from fillydelphia, Moonbeam Stygius.  Moonbeam, this is Rainbow Dash.  She's an amazing flyer."

"That I am!"  Rainbow proclaimed, extending a hoof towards Moonbeam.

"Privyet."  Moonbeam returned the hoofshake.  "Do you work in the Weather Patrol?"

"Yup, I'm really late though, so I gotta go!"

Before the pegasus could sprint through the door, Rarity caught her tail with a pulse of magic, pulling her rump down to the ground.  "Rainbow, Moonbeam here is trying to get a job in the Weather Patrol, could you put in a good word for him?"

The pegasus paused and turned to look at Moonbeam, looking him up and down appraisingly.  "Yeah, come on in with me.  If the boss is ok with it I'll show you the ropes."

Moonbeam nodded, and the mare walked through the door while Moonbeam stalled a bit to sneak a look at Rainbow's flank.  There was something about this mare that he liked.  It wasn't her body, as attractive as that was, but there was something under those violet eyes that contrasted completely with her bravado and confidence.  His thoughts, however, were rudely interrupted by Rarity scolding him.  "Moonbeam. No staring."  Shaken from his musings, and embarrassed from Rarity's stern voice, he begrudgingly followed the pegasus mare through the door, muttering in his native tongue.

~~

Fifteen minutes later, after Rainbows boss gave her another lecture about her work ethic, the cyan pegasus and Moonbeam were flying over Ponyville, herding the stray clouds away from the town and popping them with well-placed kicks.  Moonbeam wasn't very experienced with weather control, so his mistakes were pointed out and corrected by Rainbow Dash.  When his aim was off, she taught him how to pivot in the air while still making sure his kicks were in the correct spot.  Moonbeam, not being the most social of ponies, said very little during the first couple of hours, and only answered Rainbows questions with 'yes' or 'no' when he could.  His facial expression changed very little during the time they spent clearing the skies, and Moonbeam seemed very stoic to Rainbow, almost like he was hiding something.  When the pair settled down for their break, however, the veil that Moonbeam wore slowly came down, and he became more and more open to Rainbows presence and her curiosity.  As the two ponies leaned back on a tree in Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow turned to Moonbeam.  "That's some scar you've got there, how'd you get it?"

Moonbeam turned his head to look at her, debating whether he should tell the truth or not.  After an awkward pause, he concluded that he could tell the truth and not give too much away about his past.  "I got it my first night in fillydelphia.  I was jumped by a drunkard looking to let off some steam, and he had a broken beer bottle, which he slashed me with.  I was incredibly lucky that that my actual eye wasn't damaged, otherwise I'd be blind in that eye."

Rainbows eyes widened in shock as Moonbeam told the story, and when he finished she could do nothing but stare wide-eyed at him for several seconds.  When she finally recovered, She said the only word that her mind could come up with.  "Damn."

Upon hearing Rainbows response, Moonbeam snorted in amusement.  "Yeah, I guess that that sums it up pretty well."

After another pause, Rainbow spoke up again.  "How many stitches did you get?"

"I didn't get any stitches.  It was too close to the eye, and I couldn't speak much Equestrian at the time, so I just kinda waited for the bleeding to stop and took it easy until the wound healed.  The actual cut wasn't too bad, but the lack of stitches makes the scar look much worse than it really was."

"But didn't your parents do anything?  My parents would have forced me to go see a doctor."

As soon as Rainbow said the word parents Moonbeam stiffened, and the veil of stoic indifference came over him once again.  "I think it's time for us to get back to work, Rainbow.  There are still a few clouds to clear."  Never meeting the cyan pegasus's eyes, he took to the air without waiting for a response.  Puzzled, Rainbow followed.  This pony's evasiveness was unsettling, like he was hiding something.  She knew, however, that pursuing the matter further with Moonbeam would get her nowhere, so she settled to talk to Rarity and see if she knew anything about this mysterious pegasus's past.

~~

When Ponyville's skies were clear a few hours later, the pair landed outside Carousel Boutique, with Moonbeam's guard still up, and Rainbow's curiosity was nearly killing her.  Moonbeam and Rainbow walked through the door, with Moonbeam heading up to his room to unpack whatever belongings he had, and Rainbow going straight to Rarity, who seemed mildly surprised at Rainbows presence in her Boutique.  "Rainbow?  May I ask what brings you here?"

Rainbow glanced up the stairs to make sure Moonbeam wasn't around.  Once his absence was confirmed, she pulled Rarity closer, and her face grew serious.  "What's the deal with Moonbeam?  I got like five sentences out of the guy all day."

Rarity pulled herself out of the pegasus's grip, and recoiled in shock.  "What did you say to him?!" She hissed through gritted teeth.

Rainbow threw her hooves up in the air, attempting to show innocence.  "All I did was ask him a few questions over our break, and right when he seemed to open up he just clamped shut again and refused to talk for the rest of the day."

Rarity, now horrified, almost lost control and screamed at Rainbow, but she regained her composure somewhat and managed to keep her voice low.  "What questions did you ask him?"

"Well, I asked how he got his scar, which he seemed fine with, but when we got to how he didn't bother to get stitches, I said that my parents would have forced me to go see a doctor, and then he just clamped shut and said nothing except for 'yes' and 'no.'"

Rarity sighed heavily.  This was the exact thing she wanted to avoid, having to explain Moonbeams behavior by telling his past, one that she knew he hated ponies knowing about.  "Rainbow," she said sadly, "Moonbeam has had a rough life, and some truly terrible things have happened to him."

"Like what?"

Rarity chewed her lip nervously, looking around the room.  She didn't want to tell Rainbow these things, but how else could she get her to understand?  She finally caved after several long seconds of inward debate.  "Rainbow, if I tell you, you have to promise not to tell a soul.  I mean nopony.  Not even Tank.  You have to make a Pinkie Promise."

Dash nodded her understanding, and went through the motions.  "I promise not to tell anypony what you are about to tell me."

Rarity nodded, and leaned closer to Rainbow, her voice low.  "Moonbeam was born in Stalliongrad, and his father beat him almost daily until he was ten, when he ran away.  He wandered to Fillydelphia at twelve, and lived on the streets until he was around 19.  He, well..." her voice trailed off, trying to come up with a proper way to say it.  "He attempted suicide then, and I saved his life by slowing him down in mid-air.  We actually met in the hospital two days later, when he woke up from his coma.  We talked, got to know each other, and when I learned he was homeless, I helped him get back on his hooves.  He got a job, rented his own apartment, and then I graduated Fashion School.  And here we are, a couple years later, and he's back to square one.  He lost his job and couldn't pay the rent, so he left Fillydelphia and is trying to settle down in Ponyville."

When Rarity finished, Rainbow sat down on her haunches, stunned.  His behavior made so much sense now that she knew the motivations behind them.  Hell, if she were Moonbeam she wouldn't want anyone to know either.  Then she realized why he closed back up when she mentioned her parents: his father beat him, which must have traumatized him terribly.  His idea of a parent was a monster.  Suddenly, she was pulled from her thoughts by someone clearing their throat behind her.  Exactly where the staircase was.  She looked up to Rarity, who was staring past her, the marshmallow pony's face a mask of horror and guilt.  Rainbow spun around to see Moonbeam at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the wall casually.

The two mares were speechless.  Neither of them recovered from their shock before Moonbeam, his face showing no emotion, began to speak.  "Quite a story, isn't it?  I'm sure now you understand why I was so quiet all day, especially after you mentioned your parents."  His cold stare shifted to Rarity, who shrank back a bit.  "Of course, if you don't understand, it was because my past is not something I like other ponies to know about, which is the sole reason I told Rarity, because she promised."  He paused to drive the point home.  "Not."  His voice grew louder.  "To tell."  his voice was even louder now, almost yelling.  "ANYPONY!"  He bellowed, driving Rarity over the edge, and she crumpled in a heap, crying.  His rage concealed once again, he nonchalantly trotted out the door, leaving Rainbow sitting on the floor, still in shock, and Rarity collapsed on the floor, sobbing.

~~

Once Moonbeam was out of sight from Carousel Boutique, his pace slowed and he allowed himself to droop to the same condition he was in when he first walked into Ponyville.  He wouldn't do anything drastic, he told himself, that was why he came to Ponyville in the first place.  And look how that turned out.  Life everywhere is the same, barely worth living.  What made me think moving again would fix all my problems?  He continued down the darkening road, when he spotted a certain store window that just seemed to catch his eye.  He looked up quizzically, and his ears perked up the slightest bit at what he saw.  A liquor store, selling vodka made in Stalliongrad.  Well, he thought to himself, at least something good came out of this.

Fifteen minutes later, he was sitting on a park bench, a handle of vodka in hoof.  He unscrewed the cap, and took a swig, welcoming the burning liquid into his stomach, relishing the warmth that it spread through his body and mind, letting him feel good for the first time in too long.  He leaned back, and held the bottle in both hooves, reading the label.  It read: Stabil One, distilled and bottled in Stalliongrad.  The other side said the same thing, but in Stallian.  He leaned back, and let out a content sigh.  Hello, old friend.

Chapter 4

Moonbeam took another swig from the bottle and closed the cap, taking in his surroundings.  He was near a small grove of trees along one of the many paths that cut through the park, seated on a bench.  The alcohol had made its way throughout his body, numbing the pain left over from Rarity's betrayal.  Yeah, he thought to himself, that is exactly what it was.  Betrayal.  Suddenly, the metal armrest of the bench slammed into the side of his skull as he tipped over to the side, prompting a colorful stream of Stallian curses as he struggled to pick himself back up.  His hoof slipped off the front of the bench, and the rest of his body followed suit.  The next thing he knew he was laying on his back, staring at the stars.  It was a clear night, and the stars were shining brightly.  Moonbeam realized that he couldn't remember the last time he took the time to look at the beauty of the stars, and his mood grew serene as he stared in wonder at the glittering diamonds that hung suspended in the sky.  He always felt most at home at night, enjoyed the silence and calm that came when Celestia lowered the sun and Luna raised the moon.  He closed his eyes for a few seconds, and drifted into an alcohol-induced slumber.

~~

He felt himself being shaken violently, and he awoke with a jolt as his mind finally realized somepony was trying to wake him up.  He covered his face, trying to escape back into limbo by blocking the intruder from seeing him.  It didn't take Moonbeam long to realize that he wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon, and with a grunt, he waved a hoof lazily to signify he was awake.  The shaking stopped, and he opened his eyes to see a cyan pegasus looking down at him sternly.  Moonbeam groaned.  Great, just who I wanted to see.  He sat up shakily, realized that it was still dark out, and that there were two Rainbows now.  He promptly fell over to the side as he realized he hadn't been out for long, and he still had an absurd amount of alcohol in his veins.  "Waddya want?"  He growled from his slumped position.  When the pegasus didn't respond, he tried to make eye contact, but he couldn't keep it for long.  He was able to discern that Rainbow was not happy with him just from the look on her face.  He propped himself up on the bench next to him, and groped under it in an attempt to locate the bottle of vodka.  After a couple seconds of muttering Stallian curses under his breath, he heard Rainbows voice behind him.

"Looking for this?"  He turned around, barely escaping falling over again, to see Rainbow holding the bottle in her hoof.

"Why, yes!  How did you know?"  He replied, struggling to convey sarcasm through his drunken slurring coupled with his accent.  He reached for the bottle, but Rainbow pulled it back before he could even get close.

Rainbows face hardened.  "No.  You're in no condition to be drinking any more, you're plastered enough as is.  Now come back to the Boutique, Rarity's worried sick."

Moonbeam's voice grew cold.  "If Rarity wants to talk to me, she can come get me herself."

At this, Rainbows face betrayed her anger, and she lunged forward, her face inches away from Moonbeam's.  "Look," she growled, "Rarity is a nervous wreck.  She thinks that you're going to hurt yourself, and I'm not convinced you won't either.  You need to come back."

Moonbeam did not move an inch, the alcohol coursing through his veins dulled whatever reaction he may have had to Rainbows sudden outburst.  He stared back at the pegasus with fire in his eyes.  "You do not understand! Rarity broke only promise I have ever asked her to keep.  Only pony that ever showed me any form of friendship betrayed me!"  His voice cracked as the fire in his eyes faded and was replaced by the lifeless look that usually occupied them.  "I don't think you realize how much that hurts."  He squeezed his eyes shut as tears began to form, and he wobbled slightly before he picked himself up and sat down heavily on the bench, burying his head in his hooves.

A pang of pity hit Rainbow as she looked at the miserable stallion in front of her.  No matter what he did, his demons had a way of catching up to him.  He came all the way from Fillydelphia to Ponyville for a fresh start, but he didn't get a fresh start.  He had his problems chase him down and tackle him from behind, and now he was turning to alcohol, which didn't seem to be working out too well either.  She sat down next to the stallion, who was now shaking as he choked back tears, and sighed.  "Moonbeam, I can't pretend to know exactly what that feels like, but I've got demons of my own."

Moonbeam sniffled and leaned back in the bench.  "Everyone has their problems.  Some are just worse off than others."  He shifted his gaze to the cyan mare, who looked back sadly.

Rainbow began to recount her memories, a melancholy look on her face.  "When I first got into flight school, the other foals thought my mane was an oddity, and teased me for it."  Seeing Moonbeams slightly confused look, she clarified.  "It's natural." She stated flatly, prompting a nod of understanding from the stallion.  "At first it was pretty innocent, just playful jokes."  She let out a long sigh.  "Then we got older.  Everypony became was convinced that between my mane and tomboyish attitude that I was a fillyfooler."  She turned her head straight, and leaned back in the bench as well, a distant look in her eyes.  "But I'm not.  For six years I was taunted every day in school, always reminded that I was an abomination.  I started to resent everypony and everything for being normal and happy.  I only had one friend over that time, a griffon named Gilda who shared my attitude.  Of course, that only convinced the others of my... preferences, and the teasing got worse.  I was trapped in this hell of a life with no way out and not enough allies."  She looked at Moonbeam, her face blank but her eyes moist.  "After a while you just kinda-"

"Stop feeling.  Go numb to everything around you."  The stallion cut her off mid-sentence, and she nodded.  The two locked eyes, and Rainbow thought she could see Moonbeams very soul through his crimson eyes.  The veil of lifelessness seemed to lift, and she could see a fiery determination to live fighting desperately against the biting cold of solitude.  After a long pause, Rainbow finally spoke.

"Yeah.  Exactly."  Neither pony looked away from the other, both caught up in the realization that they weren't alone.

After another long pause, Moonbeam looked up to the sky, gazing at the moon and stars.  "Is that why you started stunt flying, to get away from insults?"

"Yeah, It gave me something to focus on, to look forward to.  Plus, the adrenaline kinda drowned out the hurt."  Rainbow looked inquisitively at the stallion, trying to gauge his thoughts.  Failing that, she opted to break the silence surrounding the pair.  "Is it just me, or is your accent thicker when you're drunk?"

"It is difficult to speak Equestrian properly when I am sober, let alone drunk."  Moonbeam mumbled softly, still staring at the stars.  A long silence followed, which allowed him to think about the situation.  Now Rainbow knew about his troubled past, but he also knew about hers.  It was a tradeoff, with Rainbow telling him her secrets as a form of collateral, or at least that's how Moonbeam perceived it.

Finally, Rainbow spoke.  "You gonna come back now?"

The stallion sighed, defeated.  "Da."

~~

When the pair ambled through the door to the Boutique, Moonbeam leaning heavily on Rainbow in an effort to stay upright, Rarity shot towards the drunken stallion, nearly tackling him in a hug and babbling incoherently about how sorry she was.  By the time Rainbow got the marshmallow mare off of Moonbeam, she had calmed down enough to notice how drunk he was.

"Moonbeam!" She cried in a scolding voice only Rarity could pull off, "you're drunk!"

"And what gave that away, fact that I can't walk straight or fact that Rainbow has half bottle of vodka?"

Raritys face grew stern.  "Don't speak to me in that way!  You could've hurt yourself!"

"Rarity, I do not want to talk right now.  We will talk in morning, when I can speak proper Equestrian."

And with that, the stallion hobbled over to the stairs and stumbled his way up, assisted by Rainbow, who had to practically carry him up the stairs.  When Rainbow came back downstairs, she found Rarity sitting at her kitchen table, her head buried in her hooves.  Rainbow sat down and wrapped an arm around her comfortingly.  "He's not very happy with you, but he's not going to leave.  We had a long talk once I found him."

Rarity looked up at Rainbow, a concerned expression on her face.  "What did you talk about?"

Rainbow looked away.  "That's between Moonbeam and myself."

A mournful look took over Raritys demeanor.  "I see.  Well, I'm sorry to have got you caught up in all this, and thank you for finding Moonbeam."

Rainbow scoffed.  "Rarity, it's not as if what we talked about was anything you don't know.  And as for getting me involved, I was the one who agreed to help him at Weather Patrol.  Besides, you know I'm always happy to help."

"Thank you, Rainbow."

The cyan mare took her arm from around Rarity and stood up.  "Anytime, Rarity."  She trotted towards the door.  "And tell Moonbeam it's his day off tomorrow."  And with that, she left the Boutique and shot off towards her cloud home, a rainbow trailing behind her.

Chapter 5

Moonbeam opened his eyes and was immediately greeted by the angry sun spitting its light through the window and scalding his eyes.  With a grunt of pain, he rolled over, and he immediately became aware of his stomach, which for some reason seemed to be full of magma.  He lay still for what seemed like hours, waiting for his stomach to finish doing backflips.  He didn't have the urge to vomit, which was good, but that still begged the question: what the hell happened last night?  He tried to think back to the events of the previous evening, but it soon proved much more difficult than it had any right to be.  The last thing he remembered was walking downstairs to speak to Rarity, but nothing after that.  Frustrated, he stumbled out of bed towards the bathroom.  Maybe a splash of cold water would wake him up.

It turned out that a splash of cold water does, in fact, do wonders waking a pony up from pseudo-sleep, but Moonbeam wasn't sure whether he should be pleased with the results.  Granted, he wasn't expecting to like what he remembered, but the events of the night before still gave him the all-too-familiar feeling of emptiness.  He leaned heavily on the sink, front hooves supporting the rest of his body.  He stayed there for a long time, going through the events of the night before in his head.  After a couple minutes, he got himself upright, trudged out of the bathroom and headed towards the stairs.  As he made his way down the stairs, he caught a whiff of pancakes coming from the kitchen.  Although his stomach probably couldn't handle food at the moment, he ambled in anyway and took a seat at the table, and laid his head in his arms, trying to ease his headache.

"Good morning, darling!  I'm making pancakes, want some?"  Rarity said cheerfully as she around expectantly, still mixing the batter with magic.  Moonbeam kept his head in his arms and mumbled something unintelligible.

"What was that dear?"

With a grunt, Moonbeam picked his head up, looking groggily at the marshmallow mare.  "Nyet."  And with that, he put his head back down.

"Hangover?"

"Da."

Rarity stuck out her lower lip, looking at Moonbeam sternly.  "You shouldn't have drank so much, Moonbeam.  You could've gotten hurt."

"It is not as if I was flying drunk, Rarity.  I can handle myself."

"Moonbeam,"  she said flatly, "I care about you.  You are a good pony.  You're smart, kind, and even though your humor can be a bit dark, you are quite funny.  What Rainbow heard is staying with Rainbow; she's the most loyal pony I've ever met.  Nopony else knows or will know, unless you tell them yourself."

Moonbeam picked his head up again, and locked eyes with the marshmallow mare.  "Rarity, I know that.  If I didn't, I probably would not have come back last night."

Rarity nodded and returned her attention to her cooking.  "That's good to hear.  What did you and Rainbow talk about anyway?"

"Mostly it was her keeping the vodka away from me, which wasn't too hard, apparently.  Then it was me whining, and then she told me something about her."

"And what did she tell you?"

"It is not my place to tell you."

Rarity's smile dimmed.  "I see.  And by the way, Rainbow says it's your day off, so don't worry about weather patrol."

The stallion was obviously pleased to hear that.  His hangover probably wouldn't mix well with the strenuous labor of weather patrol.  "Well, thank Celestia for that."

Finally in the last stages of making her pancakes, Rarity began pouring the batter onto the skillet.  "Which gives you plenty of time to meet the rest of my friends!"  With the last of the batter out of the bowl, she turned around and beamed at the stallion sitting at the table.  Moonbeam, however, did not see Rarity.  His head was once again cradled in his arms, where muffled Stallian curses could be heard.  She stuck out her lower lip, and put on her signature Rarity pouty voice.  "Oh come now, Moonbeam!  You'll love my friends!  They're the nicest group of ponies I've ever met!"

Moonbeam poked an eye out from his shelter.  "Are they mares?"

Rarity chuckled.  "Of course, silly!  Why do you think I want you to meet them?"

Moonbeam let his head fall back down on the table with a thud, which rudely reminded him of his hangover.  "Chyort voz'mi!"

Rarity cocked her head curiously.  "What was that, dear?"

"Nothing."

~~

That afternoon, Rarity dragged Moonbeam out to the park outside of Ponyville for a picnic with Raritys friends.  Moonbeam was comforted slightly when he saw the librarian-he couldn't quite remember her name-and Rainbow among the group.  He still felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny of the other three mares nonetheless.  Once everypony was introduced, they all sat down to eat.

"So, Moonbeam, where exactly are ya from?  I've never heard an accent quite like yours before."  The farmpony, Applejack, spoke up between mouthfuls of apple pie.

"Stalliongrad, in the North."  Moonbeam answered quickly, unwilling to be the center of attention.

"Stalliongrad, eh?  I've heard it's mighty cold up there."

Moonbeam quickly realized that, being a newcomer, he would be the center of attention whether liked it or not; so he might as well deal with it.  "Da, it is very cold in the winter, but the ponies and dragons who live their don't mind.  We are used to it."

This time, it was the cream-colored pegasus that spoke, eyes wide in fear.  "Did you say 'dragons?'"  She whispered.

Moonbeam nodded.  "Stalliongrad pre-dates most of Equestria, and is a separate state.  It was founded by ancient Pegasi and Dragons shortly after ponies arrived in Equestria."

"H- How did they ever get to become friends with dragons?  They're so big and scary!"

"Well, Pegasi were originally a warrior race, very aggressive and brash.  The Dragons respected our prideful nature and the two founded Stalliongrad." Upon hearing this, Rainbow Dash straightened up and stuck her chest out, grinning broadly.  "Stallian is actually the language ponies spoke in the Old Land."

"Pegasi were like that?"

"Da, for the most part.  Rainbow is a good example of the Stallian mentality, but there were exceptions, those who were a lot like you, no offense."

"None taken."

And with that, the pink earth pony, who had been introduced as Pinkie Pie, somehow managed to wrap her tongue around the circle of plates, and lassoed the food into her mouth in one big mouthful, which she chewed vigorously with a content smile.  When Moonbeam witnessed this, his eyes widened considerably as his brain stripped a few gears trying to figure out if what the pink pony just did was even possible.  "Wait, did that just happen?"

The six mares burst out laughing, with Pinkie spewing crumbs into the air in the process.  Rainbow was the first to recover, and exclaimed, "It's Pinkie Pie.  You'll get used it."

~~

An hour later, along with a few more "Pinkie moments," Moonbeam was very well acquainted with Rarity's group of friends.  They almost immediately accepted him as one of their own, telling him all about the town of Ponyville and its inhabitants.  The more he learned, the more it sounded like paradise.  After a long conversation about Ponyville, the librarian, Twilight, asked him all about the northern provinces; the culture, the language, and the history.  Twilight seemed to want to know everything about life in Stalliongrad, asking question after question.  Truthfully, Moonbeam wasn't sure why he was so reluctant to meet Rarity's friends at first, and he was genuinely enjoying himself among them.  They were all very nice, just like Rarity had told him.  It was a welcome change, as most of his life he was at the bottom of the social hierarchy.  Since Ponyville was such a small town, the resident ponies all treated each other in the same way: like extended family.  It was a concept that was completely new to the stallion, and it certainly took some getting used to.  In Fillydelphia, the number one rule to survival was to not attract attention, and so Moonbeam was slightly unsettled by all the friendly smiles and greetings he would get walking down the street with Rarity and her friends.  For the first time he could remember, Moonbeam went to bed that night looking forward to what the morning would bring.