Why can I not be a monster?

I hear the door open. Waking me up but I do not let them know I'm awake. "Sugar cube. I have a pony here that needs to talk to you for a minute." Psych evaluation. No doubt she call child protective services. Why did I not wake up? How am I still here. Let's just get this over with.

I get up and flash a fake smile to her. "Okay." She walks me to the kitchen. While trying to get a connection from me. I give a fake one again. Why does she look unconvinced.

I walk in and take the seat I had before. I see a stallion with a brown coat, blue eyes and a dark brown mane. With a green bowtie. "You see Doctor Hooves. Our little sugar cube is right here."

"It is just Time Turner Granny." He looks back to me and waves with a hoof. "Hello My name is Time turner, what is yours?"

"Dexter." I fake a smile again but I move the ears. Lets think of blood too. Also to get the eyes right lets listen to the memory of their screams. That might be what is making it unconvincing.

"Well, I just have some questions for you. If you are okay with that." Good it worked. He has no suspicion.

"Yes I am ok with that."

"Okay here are some fun ones. What is your favorite. Food, drink and color?

"Favorite? I like Red, Coffee and donuts, but Granny makes a really good apple pie." I see Granny show Thankfulness. I let him speak again.

"Okay. Now did you runaway." He asks.

I am in a coma or I died so no is the truth. "No."

He looks at his bag on the table then puts a note down on paper. "So you have had, nopony taking care of you."

Their are no ponies that can be parents where I'm from, so yes is the right one to say. "Yes. I have had nopony taking care of me. Well besides Granny here, nopony else."

He looks back at his bag confused but notes it down all the same. Lie detector. How? Anything is possible at this point.

"Okay last one. If you were here with Granny, would you try and run away?"

I don't think I need to and if he can see if I'm lying I need to consider this. "No. The pie is too good to leave." I smile hoping they will see it as a joke that is true.

"Haha. Well Granny. What do you say to having a forth sugar cube?"

"Oh, I love it." She shows so much love. If only I could show it back.

I see him get his bag and start to leave. "I'll be back later to ask more questions. Have a nice day Granny and a nice day to you to, Dexter." He slips her a peace of paper.

"Well sugar cube are you ready to start the day?" She shows a smile and I show a less fake one back. I just need to try.

"What are we going to do?" I ask genuinely interested.

"Well first I'm gonna get you a pony to show you how to use those wings of yours, and past that, I'm not sure but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Now I'm gonna get the other three. I'll be right back."

I hop off the chair and look around the kitchen as she leaves. I can see a knife that I can get to. I grab it and grab two of the apples from the basket of apples on the counter. I take them back to my seat. I also get a wooden cutting bord. I don't want to mess up the table. It took time to make it smooth.

I put the knife to my right side then get the bord ready and put the apples to my left. I let a second pass and then start.

I grab the knife with my right wing. I then move and apple with my left wing and lay the apple down on the cutting bord. I cut it down from the top with ease. Now I have two pieces, then I cut both of them in half.

Oh, how the juice from the apple coats my feathers. I start to cut out the cores of all fore pieces one by one. The feeling I have in this moment. Like a high no other. I put my tongue on the back of the blade at the bottom and lick up.

If only-No. Just this is enough. It has to be. My dark passenger is hungry. I hear them coming, so I get my act together, and put the mask back on. When they get in the room they start to eat as well.

"Now be careful with that knife, it is sharp honey." Granny warns me. Are they too close to me. "I know I'll be careful." No they are not. I can't get them from here. That is good.

Applejack moves over to me. "Wow, You can use your wing like that!" I put the knife down and move my body so she can look at my wing while I am not too close to the knife.

"Um, I'm talking about how you can hold stuff sugar cube." I pick up an apple slice. "That is so cool." I can see it. The ideas, the need. With one swift motion I could feed my monster. NEVER CHILDREN!. Remnants of the old code that make up my new code, ring in my mind. Like a spike of pain behind my eyes. It is from that monster. It is in pain but it does not matter. "Looks like you have a crick in your neck." She can see the pain.

"Must have slept on it wrong." I move back so that I'm not too close. If they are my new family, I need to keep them safe after all. "So Granny who did you have in mind to teach me?" Flying might be nice.

"Oh, I have a pony that owes me a favor and she will be in town for a while anyway. Her name is Spitfire." What the hell is up with all the names? Where the hell is a Dave or something? Next thing you know their going to tell me bloomed apple is a name.

"Oh have you seen Apple bloom." I crack a smile. I laugh with my dark passenger. Not in malice but out of the coincidence. I do not voice the humor I found. I just smile as they bring her over to me.

"No I have not." I see a small foal, With Yellow blond coat and scarlet red hair. The eyes she has are a bright orange. I don't have to fake this? "She is so cute." How? Why? Why is it so quiet right now? My dark passenger is terrified.

"Oh, Yes she is." Applejack moves to have apple bloom face her. "You are just a little slice, of apple pie aren't you."

She shows and has a better connection them me, but how did I have one with out empathy? No empathy granted to me you see, but how could this be? I take my seat, and feel the heart that beats, with a radiant heat. A seed. The seed in me, of and apple tree, that will show a grate feat. A feat for a heart beat, that holds no empathy to keep, for me, you see.

"Um, so Granny. When do I start with Spitfire?" I ask, feeling The dark passengers fear leave me.

She walks over to the wall and points at a phone. "Well I made the call this morning. She will be here soon. She is fast so-."

We here a knock at the door, but before granny could get it a mare walks inside drenched in sweat. She has a yellow coat and her eyes, mane and tail are fire orange. That must be why she is called Spitfire.

"Well, do you need some water, sugar cube? I said get here, not to fly your wings off! You'll need them for what I've got in store for you."

"Sorry." She breathes in deeply. "Granny." She hits the floor like a sack of potatoes. "Hello, Kid are you the lucky flyer?"

"Um, are you Spitfire?" She is loud but only to me.

"Yes I am. Just let me rest for a minute. Yes granny water would be nice." I see granny get the water. How is it so easy for them. She asked of she needed water and all I could think of was that she was loud.

I get down from my chair and lay in front of her as granny gives her the water. "So what you doing kid?" She asks with an inquisitive face.

"Learning how to rest." If she is as good as Granny thinks then their is a right and wrong way to handle over exertion.

She looks at granny. She is asking something with out words but what is it. She looks back to me. "Not many ponies notice that part or care for it. So what is your name?"

"Should I ware a name tag? My name is dexter." She gets a blush.

She starts to use her left hoof to rub her neck sheepishly. "Um. No just. No." What the hell was that about? The fur around her neck looks like she wares a collar there.

I'm not asking why. "So what are we going to do today."

"Well first. Can you open your wings for me." My wings are as long as my body is.

"Wow. Not many foals have a wing span like that." I look at her wings, they are the same size as mine.

"What do you mean?"

"Your wings are still growing, So when you are bigger your wings will be the same wing span ratio to your body as you have now."

"Oh. okay." Well that is good to know.

"Stop confusing the colt with your fancy math and show him how to use those wings." Granny said with a stern tone.

Spitfire gets up and I follow. "Yes Mam."

We are out side in the front yard and it is still midday. "Okay lets start with your wing control." She picks up and apple and throws it at me and I catch it.

"What do I do with this?"

"Throw it back." I do as asked.

She catches it. "Good, now throw with some magic behind it." I catch it. I look at her with a dead pan face.

"What magic?" I ask really what does she want from me make it disappear. I hold the apple in one wing then glide my wing over the other and pick it up with the one I moved over it. "Like that?"

She look stumped for a moment. "How? No I mean magic. Where did it go?"

I pull the apple out of the wing it just disappeared from and take a bite. "Never telling. What do you mean?"

She walks over to me and holds my wing out. She shows me her wing with little lights gliding over every feather. Then she points to mine. I can see little red lights just the same as hers but denser.

Magic. I have Magic? "Wow." It is red. My dark passenger is loving the red as I am also loving it.

"So this is magic?"

"Yes now." She gives me a second apple with out a bite in it. "Take the apple in your wing and put some of that feeling in your wing behind it."

I take the apple and do as she asked. As I throw the apple, I start seeing little small point like red lights just trailing behind the apple as it flattens on a tree.

"Magic, I have magic!" I look at her. "Teach me more."

So tragic, you can have it. The magic. I'll take the blood, that floods like mud. I am a dud of love. But the blood is my love. A dud that loves the flood of blood like mud. That thud, the thud of a heart beat. I can stop it with one fell sweep. Little trickles fickle for me, but a blood flood only to you sounds bleak.

My wings are tired but I love it. Some how in this world magic exists and I have it. Spitfire has shown me how to sense the air around my feathers and to put that magic in to use when using my wings, it is different from my normal pleasures. I hope I don't wake up.

"Hay kid lets take a brake for the rest of the day. Tomorrow we will see if you get off the ground." Again with the connections. I just want to keep going, it makes that need become easier to carry.

I fake a smile. "Okay, I'll just go see what applejack and Big Mack needs." I can see them right now they are getting apples. They have 5 soon to be 6 baskets of apples.

I callout. "Hay Big Mack do you and Applejack need help?"

"Yep" I think I have heard only two words from him. He must not talk much.

"Yeah Dexter, if you could, could you get one of the pair of baskets." I can see Applejack getting the baskets on Big Mack while I come over.

"How do I get this on?" I can't move it with my wings they are too tired.

"Well you get down on your belly behind it, then you move so you can get the saddle on your back and stand up." I do as she instructed. I then see the straps that are loose so I tighten them. "Now just follow Big Mack. I'll catch up."

I can appreciate on how quiet he is. No need for useless words or idle chitchat. No need for- No he is doing it. The need for connection again, even with out words they can do it. So I try again, but a fake is still a fake, even if it is an exact copy. My dark passenger is so, hungry.

He points to a spot by the barn. "Should I just dump the apples or do I put the baskets down with the apples in it?"

"Dump the apples." Well it looks like he can say more then one word. So I help, not because I care but because the fake me needs to care.

If they are my new family then, just trying is all I can do. Even if my dark passenger is gnawing at my mind, at the cage that contains it. My body is shaking not with exertion but with the thought of blood. It will make this go away. It will give me a sweet release. Just a little bit to coat my feathers. Just a little bit to mat my fur. This smile I have of the idea is no fake.

We walk up to Applejack. "Well what has you in such a happy mood?"

Lie and the truth. "Memories."