Self-Service

by CasualFanDontJudge

Rating: mature
Tags: Porn, Profanity, Sex, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Equestria Girls
Length: 4127

Sexually frustrated Sci-Twi finds comfort with a little bit of-self love. Not that kind.

What's a sexually deprived young woman to do when life's got her down and there's no release in sight? Bang herself! No, not like that. Not when her sexy, eager-to-help-a-sister-out pony counterpart is just a interdimensional booty-call away and down to smash one out.

In which I write a shamelessly smutty femslash about Twicest because there's not enough Twicest on this site even though they're 100% perfect for each other in every way. And no I'm not joking. Plz write more Twicest guys

Art credit for: Jiao_mm_ on X (i would link to their page but I don't want to get banned; go support them!)

All characters are 18+

Published 2025-02-10 04:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2025-02-10 04:10:00 UTC

Chapter 1

Twilight felt like she could burn the entire world down.

No, not literally, but her body was burning something terribly fierce, as if a raging furnace lay where her stomach ought to have been. Groans of discomfort and annoyance resounded throughout the room; despite abandoning her blankets and pajama bottoms to the floor, she could find no respite from the heat, which only intensified, somehow, as the moments ticked on. Twilight wallowed in her own perspiration, writhing her semi-nude body across the damp bedsheets, no longer paying mind to what she surely must have looked and smelled like in her current condition.

Within the confines of her room, (soundproofed since seventh grade, unbeknownst to the rest of her housemates, obviously), and under the cover of the evening darkness, Twilight had taken to fixing the bothersome heat in the only way she knew how: by finger-banging the ever living shit out of herself.

Crude? Certainly. Effective? It took a little time, but it got the job done...usually. Under the right circumstances, it could even be fun! Contrary to popular belief amongst her peers, and, unfortunately, even some of her friends, Twilight was not some asexual automaton immune to the hormonal drive that plagued teenaged kind. She appreciated sexual intimacy the same as anyone else, even of the deficient self-love variety.

Not tonight.

Squick Squick Squick

In fact, not for several nights.

Squick Squick Squick

Her body was melting down and her fingers' efficacy were dropping off as fast and hard as she wanted to be cumming. She could feel the orgasm hovering just out of reach.

Twilight sighed as she pinched and tugged at her right nipple while her fingers pistoned away at her sopping wet snatch. This was arguably a form of torture at this point. Her efforts had only made the heat and pressure worsen, and she was fucking tired to boot. School was hours away, as her alarm clock unflinchingy reminded her of everytime she met its cloudy red screen periodically. It had been hours since she began.

Twilight stopped. It was time to cut her losses. No point in being both horny and tired tomorrow when she could...just be horny.

Twilight sat up, face flushed, head shaking. She swung her legs over the side of her bed, reaching for a nearby lamp light to regain sight of her room. After gathering her clothing from the floor, and cleaning off some of the fluids on and around her to make sleeping somewhat more comfortable, Twilight retired to her bed once more. The warmth had receded in the meantime, but just barely. She wanted to scream -- which she did, into her pillow!

Twilight put the fluff aside. It was time for sleep. Or, at least an attempt to, anyway. The light was driven from the room again.

Twilight shifted to her right, trying to get comfortable, facing the drawer carrying her lamp and other small valuables. Her eyes remained opened. As the adrenaline wore off, she could feel the call for sleep grow. Her thoughts began to turn incoherent as the sandman neared. Twilight's eyelids grew heavy. Thoughts of Sunset and Rainbow Dash and all her other sexy, gorgeous friends flashed before her mind's eye. The realm of dreams awaited her...

Until the glint of a shiny gold piece of...something penetrated her perceptual field of awareness and aroused her conciousness from the fogs of said sleep. Great.

Twilight forced her eyes wide open, trying to remember the significance of what she was looking at in her haze of semi-awareness. Within the darkness, Twilight could but faintly make out the shape of a rectangle encompassing the golden band that had caught her attention. The object was laying flat on one of her many shelves, directly in her line of sight. Recognition filtered through Twilight's mind in seconds.

It was a book.

Not just any book, mind you, but a copy of the magically-infused diary that enabled communication between their world and Equestria that her counterpart had given to Sunset some time ago.

Twilight bit her lip. Her face flushed a feverish shade of red. Yes, communication, that's what it had been given to them for; all to serve the end of expanding the bounds of human and equine knowledge across dimensions. It was honestly a privilege, as far as Twilight was concerned, and she hoped their cross-universe contact would lead to much in the way of scientific discovery and technological progess for both worlds. And no one could justly accused her of not using it for such worthy endeavors -- she had already exchanged dozens of messages with the other world's Twilight on everything ranging from Equestrian flora and fauna to comparisons of general relativity and quantum physics to the almost occultic properties of Equestrian cosmology.

Twilight clenched her sheet in her hands. It hadn't been her suggestion, of course. When the Princess of Friendship had casually mentioned a comparitive study of human and pony-to-human anatomy, she certainly wasn't expecting to find themselves tangled in the sheets of some shoddy motel room that had probably never seen better days.

Twilight, the other her, had told her it was for science. For the sake of pushing the boundaries of knowledge and going where no pony or human had gone before. The imperative to fuck was just a natural extension of their obligations in bringing about a better, more civilized world.

Twilight nodded to herself. Yes, it was for science, but...it wasn't her fault her counterpart could play her body with the skills of a master pianist and reduce her to a quivering, hot mess with those deliciously soft lips and fingers of her. It wasn't like they would rendevous every few weeks in that same dingy hotel just to find release when they needed it the most...one of them always took notes, and they were always experimenting, always trying to find out more! It was really important to know how similar their bodies were, and sometimes testing that took many hours of arduous work and documentation, and they were already making great progress! Their refractory periods shortened at the same rate exponentially with every orgasm!

Twilight kicked her feet from under the covers and she found her slippers. Slowly, she walked forward. Twilight sighed. She knew what she needed to do even if she wasn't entirely proud of it. She needed the other Twilight and she needed her bad. The space between her and the journal shortened as she stood within armsreach of the shelf. Lingering hesitation stopped her arm mid-grab. What they were doing was weird, by most people's accounts anyway, and her friends would almost certainly look at her differently if they knew what she was getting up to. But not even the fear of disappointing her friends was enough to overpower the desire for release and the overwhelming pleasure that lay inches away. She steeled her resolve and grabbed the book along with the nearby quill Spike had given to her, opening it, "Hey...can you meet me in twelve-hours earth time?"

Twilight felt bad that she had to ignore her friends' usual Friday afternoon hangout session. She wanted to go, but...there were other, more pressing matters to attend to -- as her body constantly reminded her of throughout the entire day. She always knew it was bad when the pencil she would inevitably chew on during physics class was the only thing she could focus on due to the terrible heat between her legs.

Twilight strode in silence and with haste to the appointed destination. A dark-blue hoodie she had borrowed from Shining Armor for the express purposes of these meetups disguised her features from any would be peeping toms. Excitement grew with every step Twilight took towards the motel, and the girl had to restrain herself from breaking out into a full-blown sprint. As in every case so far, Twilight found the haggard building in relatively quick fashion, unbothered and unnoticed. The dull beige, flattened rows of rooms that made for a semi-complete square behind the small check-in room were always a nice reminder of the part of town she was in. Twilight pushed aside a surge of disgust and hesitation and was quick to handle her business. Within minutes, Twilight had procured a room and was walking to it, key in hand.

Twilight had come early. She wanted things to go as fast and smooth as possible, but a part of her enjoyed the anticipation. She also enjoyed the time it gave her to freshen up and look moderately presentable given that she was coming from seven hours of high-school. Her nerves flared as the clock grew closer to five. Twilight paced across the room, hand running through her hair, as the adrenaline spiked. The other Twilight was always punctual, which meant that less than a minute stood between her arrival.

Knock Knock Knock

Twilight jumped. It was her! She scrambled towards the door, unlocking and pulling it open for the new arrival, happy to see...herself? She made note to see a psychiatrist after all this was said and done.

The form of her Equestrian counterpart stood before her, apparently somewhat caught off guard judging from the look on her face. She stood garbed in the usual blue button-up and purple skirt the portal's magic bestowed upon. The pony-turned-human smiled as she recognized the other, slightly shorter girl.

"Hey! It's so wonderful to see you again, Twilight! How long has it been since our last research session?" The Princess asked, eyes bright and smiling.

Twilight swayed back and forth, still clutching the frame of the doorway as she slightly leaned forward. "Five weeks and two days." She paused, blushing. "I-I think?"

The Princess gingerly chuckled, stepping closer. "That's a new record. May I come in?"

"Please!"

The pair walked in. The Princess walked steadily, hands behind her back, while Twilight visibly trembled. They came to the bed where both took a seat, knees pressed lightly against one another as the older Twilight scanned the interior of their room while the teen fussed with her own purple skirt.

"Somehow, I think this room is even worse than the last one!" The Princess said, almost sounding impressed with how unimpressive their temporary abode was.

"Sorry, Princess, I wish we could meet somewhere more...decent, but this is all I can afford at the moment." Twilight said, looking and sounding sheepish. Explaining why the local love motel was the only place suitable for your interdimensional hook-up with your counterpart had that effect.

"Oh, well, not like it really matters that much. Not for what we're doing, anyway."

Twilight nodded. "Y-yeah, right..." Her words hung in the void. The room tinged with a suddenly tense atmosphere. Twilight stared at her older counterpart, trying not to ogle the taller, uh, fuller girl to her right too much.

The Princess placed a hand on the other girl's exposed thigh, startling the trembling girl next to her. "Easy, Twilight. What's got you so...worked up?

"Sorry, Princess, I just...I really need to blow off some steam. Can we...can we skip the notes, just this time, at least?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow, face lighting up with mirth. "Ah, I see. It's probably been awhile since your last climax, and you need a little release, I get it -- I'm more than happy to help! That's what friends are for, Twilight."

"Thanks..." Twilight fiddled with her glasses as the Princess' grip on her thigh firmed.

The monarch's face turned sultry as her eyes lidded and face flushed. The Princess' face drew closer to her own, and she could feel her warm breath tickle her neck. Goosebumps were already beginning to form across her entire body at the barely felt stimulation. A feint smell of lavender wafted around her -- it always did with her counterpart, for some reason...

The Princess pecked at her younger self's neck and jawline. "You poor thing. I remember when I was still a filly with all those stupid hormones and no where to go for release," she whispered, bringing the other girl's face to meet hers. Their noses nuzzled against one another as their eyes met; Twilight removed her younger self's glasses, tossing them to a nearby sofa. "Don't worry about me, Twi. Just let me take care of you tonight."

Before Twilight could even muster a token of her appreciation, her counterpart's lips came crashing down upon her's. There was little finesse to the Princess' technique (not as if she had much experience in the way of comparison!), but Twilight chalked that up to a lack of understanding of the finer aspects of primate motor control by the pony-girl-in-human-garb. The older woman's lips pressed hot and heavy against her own, and she could already feel her tongue prodding against her lips, asking to be let in. Twilight opened her mouth, happy to deepen their oral embrace, and happy to concede oral dominance almost as soon as the Princess' tongue invaded her mouth. Twilight's tongue lay flat, submissive to the almost feral exploration of the invasive appendage. Wet smacks and throaty moans resonated throughout the room -- shameless, she knew, but she was far past the point of caring by now. Not with how amazing her older self's tongue felt roughly exploring every nook and cranny of her fleshy cavern. A note of grape flavored their exchange of saliva -- a product, she figured, of her own lip gloss given the slight tingling sensation that accompanied it.

She could feel the Princess' hands growing more frenetic. The hand that had been on her thigh had made its way to her chest, already groping and feeling away at her shirt-clad bosom, while the other had threaded itself behind her head and into her hair to lock her face into place for their clash of lips. It was times like these that Twilight wondered why they ended up so different as lovers -- she had always played the passive side in every sexual encounter they had, and she was perfectly content to play the role, but the Equestrian was absolutely voracious in her lovemaking.

Whatever the case, it wasn't long before Twilight lay flat against the suspiciously stained mattress, with the royal straddling her, peppering her lips and neck and jawline with fast, hungry kisses. Twilight could feel her counterpart's growing impatience with the striped-shirt and tie that impeded her hands' progress. Similarly, she felt the desire to feel the other girl's bare skin pressed against her own, but neither could bring themselves to break their contact.

The Princess bit at Twilight's lower lip, stinging her in the best way possible, and hovering a few inches above her, frustration evident in her eyes and voice as she spoke, "S-Stupid human clothes. So useless." She stopped her assault on the other Twilight's lips, lifting herself up to an upright position to begin disrobing herself. She undid her tie and plucked at the buttons of her blue blouse with haste while the girl below her took a moment to breathe and (to her slight shame) enjoy the sight. It's not like she ever claimed she wasn't a narcissist. And, in fairness, it's not like they were completely identical -- the alien girl was, inexplicably, a bra size or two above her own, as she could confirm once again as the Princess discarded the shirt to some far off corner of the room. The woman's breasts filled out the generic-looking white bra nicely, but she was awkwardly grabbed at the undergarment, trying in vain to remove it. They shared a glance. Silence.

"Honestly, I think it's kind of adorable you still haven't figured it out yet. It took me awhile too, y'know?"

"Why do humans wear clothes again?" Princess Twilight grumbled as she lowered herself against the teen again, allowing her to remove the stubborn article of clothing for her.

"Don't know! I was never one for anthropology." Twilight said, unclasping the bra with practiced ease and tossing it aside. She took the opportunity to shrug off her own shirt, eager to find the skin-on-skin contact her body was desperately crying out for already. Their bare chests pressed and rubbed against each other, both a familiar and deeply welcomed sensation for the couple.

"Well, I was always a fan of anatomy. Speaking of which..."

Things happened so quickly. Next thing Twilight knew there was a frenzy of gropes and kisses pelting her faster than she could keep up with. Apparently, she wasn't the only eager party to the sneaky cross-dimension link-up. Somewhere in the tornado of contact, her bra met its counterpart on the floor, and her skirt and panties along with it. The Princess knew enough about human physiology to know where to apply pressure for the best effect, and she lavished Twilight's chest, lapping away at one of her dusky, pert tits while she flicked and tugged at the other with a free hand. Twilight did her best to reciprocate, not wanting to be a completely limp lover, but she could barely cop a feel with the ravenous pressure being applied to her from above. She settled on groping at the Princess' tight, full rear while she let the other girl work her magic.

The Princess soon grew restless with the foreplay. She relented from her assault on the now hardened, sensitive nubs and began to slide herself down between Twilight's legs. Twilight shivered, legs spread, grin big and dumb, as she awaited the usual tickling, hot breath of her counterpart that always preceded the tongue lathering.

The Princess looked at Twilight's purple snatch, already glistening as the girl shifted in anticipation. She grinned as she ran a finger along her outer lips, gathering the slick, filmy fluid across the tip of her forefinger. She looked up, finding her paramour's eyes tightly shut and her hands clenching the bed sheets. She cleaned her finger of the glossy liquid, tasting herself, enjoying the effect she had on the girl below her. It wasn't the most pleasant thing she had ever tasted, but it only added to the fuel of her own desire. She pushed on.

Twilight hoarsely moaned as she felt the fingers of the Princess enter her. Thankfully, the girl hadn't wasted much time with the teasing, and she worked her pussy with a vigorous pace. The Princess slammed away at her hole with two of her deliciously soft and thin fingers, slicing through her fleshy, warm walls with ease, which put the feeling of her own hand to absolute shame when it came to pleasure. She bucked her hips against the girl's hand as best she could and her moans became more guttural, something she hoped would only spurn the Equestrian on even more.

Her hopes were fulfilled as Twilight's tongue darted out and playfully licked at her clit. She hissed and bucked at the added stimulation. This is what she needed, and this was what she could never provide for herself.

Unbeknownst to her, the Princess was grinning, happy with how well she had mastered the art of human love making in such a short time. Twilight licked again, lapping away at her nub in conjunction with her probing fingers to create a cacophony of noises from her younger. The fluids began to gather and smear across her mouth, running off to her chin and creating a glistening shine, but she cared little about it. She knew her assignment and would see it to its completion no matter the costs!

Twilight writhed. The pleasure was building. She could feel her climax nearing. Her heart pounded heavy against her chest. She shook her head like a dog gone mad with rabies, and everything was turning white. The Princess felt the approaching orgasm as well, and she doubled her assault on the girl's pussy, adding a third finger to her tight, wet hole as she stopped the licks and nibbles to suck the little bundle of nerves in front of her instead. Twilight's hands shot forward to grab her lover's head to urge her on. "Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck; please, don't stop, I'm almost there! Please, Twilight!"

The Princess knew what to do. Her nimble fingers curled, striking a familiar hard to reach spot, causing the girl to thrash wildly and sputter nonsense. She continued the onslaught without relent, quickly tapping away at the sensitive patch, happy the teen's relief was near.

"I-I'm c-cumming. I'm cumming!" Twilight yelled, chest heaving, her entire body flushed red.

"That's a good girl. Come for me, Twilight." The Princess said, her voice low and almost predatory sounding.

"CUMMING!"

A fresh torrent of girlcum soaked the Princess' lower face. She watched Twilight vibrate and flail her limbs around and scream her pleasure into a nearby pillow. Pride filled her heart.

Twilight felt like she was on another planet -- no, dimension, with the height of pleasure she had been brought to. She perceived nothing but a sheer bright light that had seemingly swallowed her, and she could barely feel anything at all but the orgasm-induced pleasure coursing through her, which was only intensifying with every second. The wait for release had only served to concentrate the eventual pleasure of release, and she was more than happy to embrace it. Minutes passed on. But, as with most highs, the pleasure began to gradually recede, leveling out to a generally pleasant sensation that enveloped her entire body. She felt...amazing. Sensation began to return. Images that looked vaguely of the dusty brown hotel room of her memory began to take shape. The coolness of the air chilled her sweaty body -- something she was becoming acutely aware of thanks to her now felt nudity. Twilight could sense movement around her, but she offered no resistance when what felt like arms moved her onto her side and enveloped her into a hug.

"You really needed that, didn't you?" Princess Twilight whispered into her ear from behind, hands wrapped firm yet tenderly around the younger girl's waist.

Twilight gathered her breath.

"...yes."

She ran one of her own hands along the Princess' arms as she enjoyed the warmth her body provided with them snuggled up together. It was a weird but pleasant feeling to be cuddled by yourself, especially when they were nude and you could feel the nubs of their breasts pressed against your back!

"Thank you, Princess."

There were no other words she could muster other than a simple heartfelt thanks. Too tired. Too content. Princess Twilight hummed in response and tightened her hold. A comfortable silence enveloped the room.

"If you ever need me, just call. Forget the research. I really love our time together, Twi."

Despite the fact that it was a pony talking to her; despite the fact that she lay only minutes away from a mind-shattering orgasm...she blushed. Her face burned like a schoolgirl talking to her crush for the first time! She knew this was beyond weird; she knew being in a semi-incestous and semi-zoophiliac sexual relationship with an interdimension version of herself was probably breaking all sorts of ethical and moral rules, but...she really didn't care. She couldn't bring herself to.

"Thanks, Princess. That means a lot to me."

"Y'know, have you ever thought about inviting Sunset to one of our research sessions? Something tells me she would...appreciate it."

Twilight tensed. She imagined the three of them in mutual embrace, and she could already see the two older women doing as they wished with her body, bringing her over the edge over and over and over again...

"I take it that's a yes, then? I can feel you all over my knee!"

Twilight laughed. And Twilight laughed too. That reminded her -- she was still obnoxiously horny, and she was just dying to return the favor to the Princess. She turned around, facing the mirror image of herself, and she brushed the damp strands of violet hair out of her face. "That would be nice, but right now you and I need to make up for lost time. It's only...6:30, and I still owe you an orgasm. Let's make the most of our night together, Princess."

And they did. All night long.

Author's Note

Hey! I've been on a bit of a hiatus for the past few months now. Now I'm back and...writing MLP self-cest fanfiction! No, seriously, the world needs more Twicest. Twiset/Sunlight is cool and all, but the potential for Twilight² is high! Hopefully this story will play a small role in bringing about a better, smuttier future for the two best nerds doing sexy things together.

If you liked this story, you might also like another story of mine called This May Require Your Participation. Or maybe you won't! Who knows!?

Thanks for reading!