“You can’t be serious.”

“Sorry, Anon. That’s what the doctor said.”

“Thorax you… you can’t do this to me!”

“Anon, I’m the one facing medical issues here.”

“But think about how this impacts ME!”

“R-right.”

Thorax rolls his eyes at the pleading human standing before him. Anon’s own eyes are wide and tearful, his face contorted into something akin to that of a sad child in a cartoon. After staring at him for a few moments, Thorax simply sighs and turns away.

“Look, I really am sorry, but this is for both our sakes, not to mention the good of the hive.”

“I straight up don’t believe that it’s possible for you to have ‘too much love!’ This is OPPRESSION!”

“It’s not oppression, it’s a severe risk of heart disease! And yeah, we still don’t know much about it because up until recently, all of changelingkind was in a perpetual state of near-starvation. Combine that with how… insistent you are when it comes to giving me your love, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where my chest pains have been coming from.

“But Thooooraaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxx,” Anon whines, “I love youuuuuuuuuu.”

Thorax freezes for a moment before closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh.

“I know you do, Nonny, and I love you too. But please, think of our future. If you really love me, you’ll hold off on… you know, loving me.”

“You seem awfully nonchalant about this,” Anon pouts.

“I’m not happy about it either,” Thorax mumbles as he makes his way out of the dimly lit bedroom. “If the doctor is right, we only need to make it about a month. Healthy doses of love only, and no snacks. Once that month is up, I should be right as rain again.”

“A MONTH?!”

“Please don’t make this harder than it has to be,” Thorax winces as he finally exits the bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he speaks to no one but himself. “Count your blessings, Thorax. Better to have a husband who loves you too much than too little.” With one more sigh, he heads towards the rest of the hive. “Why do I get the feeling this is going to end poorly?”

“And with the implementation of this new policy, the hive is officially debt free!”

A crowd of countless changelings cheers loud enough to make the entire hive shake. Hooves stomp on solid ground, hugs are exchanged, mysterious goop is thrown haphazardly, and a sense of relief and optimism is contagious enough to bring smiles to the faces of every single changeling in the hive, even those not in attendance. Thorax stands on a large podium before the crowd, his own grin acting as a symbol of hope for his subjects.

He sniffs at the air before clearing his throat and stepping back from the podium, wincing at the sheer concentration of love in the room. It’s nice being a changeling, as it means he can always tell when his speeches go well. Unfortunately, living with Anon means that if he intends to cut back on his love intake, he’s gonna have to remove any and all unnecessary consumption.

“Hey, Rax!”

“Gyah!”

He recoils, having not noticed that his backstage exit has been blocked by the familiar form of the hive’s only human.

“Great speech!”

“Th-thank you, Nonny.”

“...”

“...Is that all?”

“Yup, just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.”

“Nonny, I’m fine. Really.”

“You sure? You did just give a speech after skipping breakfast.”

“I’m positive. Now, please let me through.”

“Alright, alright.” Anon raises his hands and steps aside, a coy grin on his face as Thorax passes by. “The offer is still out there though.”

“I’m well aware,” he sighs, his voice barely a whisper. “And very tempted.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Thorax steps into his personal kitchen, a groan escaping him when he sees that he isn’t alone.

“Anon, please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“What?” he asks with his mouth full before wiping at his stuffed cheeks. “I just made dinner.”

“Let me guess. You made it ‘with love?’”

“Nope. Love-free dinner this time. Completely platonic. Heck, I’d go so far as to say this sandwich downright hates you.”

Thorax winces as he just barely manages to catch the tossed sandwich. Through narrowed eyes, he lifts the bread and carefully inspects it.

“Well, it looks normal.”

“Rax. Raxxy. Honey.” Setting the rest of his own sandwich down, Anon turns to face Thorax directly, a knowing smile plastered across his face. “As much as I want to snuggle you to death – maybe literally, given the circumstances – I’m not going to do anything to harm you, alright?” He stands from his position at the table, his expression becoming warmer and more genuine. “I support you one-hundred percent.”

Thorax feels a blush make its way to his face. No matter how long he and Anon stay together, he can’t help but want to swoon when he gets serious like this.

“Th-thank you, Anon.”

“Now, I’ll get out of here so I don’t keep tempting ya.”

With a wink and a nudge, Anon shuffles past Thorax, but not before placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Ahh, I love that man.” Thorax smiles to himself as he enters the kitchen properly, but that smile quickly disappears. “Wait, he just… ugh, darn it!”

“One week left, Rax! We’re almost there!”

“Why… are you… including yourself?! What do you mean WE?!”

Thorax raises himself up, then lowers himself back down again. Then up again. Then back down again. He grits his teeth, knowing that sit ups would be so much easier if he didn’t have such big dumb horns.

“Hey, we’re both starving over here. Now come on, you’ve still got thirty more to go.”

Sweat drips from Thorax’s forehead, another grunt escaping him with each strained repetition. Anon, meanwhile, does his best to hold his back hooves to the ground, perhaps licking his lips at the sweaty, visual feast before him a bit too obviously.

“Anon, I… I can taste your love from… from here! Cut that out!”

“I’m not even trying this time! Honest!”

“I find that… hard to believe.”

“Focus, Rax! You’ve got ten more!”

“Argh!”

Pushing through the pain, it isn’t long until the final set of exercises has been completed, leaving Thorax a sweaty puddle of exhaustion on the floor of the hive’s newly refurbished gym.

“You did great, Rax. That’s a new PR!”

“Exercise or not, I think it’s clear I wasn’t built to be a king,” he sighs as he struggles to catch his breath, eagerly gulping down a bottle of water provided by his beloved human.

“Don’t worry, you’ll always be my king.”

“Again, careful with the love!”

Anon blinks, his eyes drooping to half lids before he turns around with a pout.

“Can’t even compliment my sweaty husband. Dieting is the WORST!”

“Okay,” Thorax sighs, exhaustion and joy in equal parts showing on his face as he opens the door to his bedroom. “The month is over, the doctor says everything came back clean, and we should be good to… go…?”

The bedroom is pitch black. Odd, considering he was expecting a certain someone to be eagerly anticipating his return from the doctor. With a tilt of his head and a flick of his hoof, he finally turns on the lights.

Only to be greeted by a shirtless human lying sensually on the bed before him, rose petals surrounding him on all sides and a suspicious amount of candles that somehow turned on instead of the chandelier overhead. Anon, with his head resting in his hand, gives Thorax a wink.

“What the-?”

“No more arguing, Thorax.”

“I… oh, dear.” His face quickly goes from green to red, and he finds his legs shaking more than he was expecting. Intimacy with Anon is certainly nothing new to him, but after a month of almost nothing of the sort, such a sight is just too much. Anon’s completely average physique and entirely forgettable face are just… so enticing! “Sh-should I–!”

Before he even has a chance to finish, Anon has stood from the bed, shuffled across the room, and scooped Thorax up into his arms, eagerly pressing his lips against his waiting partner’s. In truth, Thorax is by far the stronger of the two, but the feeling of being held in Anon’s arms is so comforting that he melts at his touch. He allows himself to be lifted off of the ground, supported entirely by his human lover as their eyes close and they find themselves being washed away by their shared, raw emotion.

Really, how could he have ever had too much love?

“Okay so apparently I overdosed last night. Doctor says I need two more months of dieting.”

“AW, COME ON!”

Author's Note

Boykissing!