In Memoriam

by J3sterking

Rating: teen
Tags: Death, Sad, Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 3750

Luna reminisces about her past, and the ponies she left behind.

To help the Cutie Mark Crusaders with one of their final school projects, Luna shares her memories about the ponies from the history books. As it happens, however, she didn't get to say goodbye to some of them, and a fresh round of tears begins to flow.

Published 2025-02-18 00:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2025-02-18 00:20:00 UTC

Memory Eternal

Luna surveyed Ponyville from above, drifting slowly among the clouds. It was the kind of lazy day she could never have had as a Princess. Yet trying to enjoy it was hard, when she desperately felt that there was some work she was supposed to be doing.

Funnily enough, her being a Princess was still ruining her lazy afternoon, even when she was no longer a Princess.

I wonder how Twilight's doing, she thought idly, landing on a cloud. Twilight was a lot more like her sister; better suited for days long and filled, with thousands of tasks to get done.

Luna had never been good at it. Which, when she looked back at her life, made her descent into darkness that much worse.

Her survey stopped, seeing a group of fillies she recognized. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, talking with Cheerily. They had come a long way since Luna had cared for them in their dreams. By this point, they should have been getting ready for their final year of school. Luna smiled to herself. How had she ever spurned this? Caring for them, guiding them, watching them grow.

Yet she would have to watch them die, as well.

"Look out below!" somepony shouted urgently. Luna's gaze snapped to the top of the nearby hill, seeing a cart tumbling out of control, heading straight for the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who remained oblivious.

In a single panic filled moment, Luna shot from the sky like lightning, throwing a forcefield around herself. She collided with the ground, shattering the street, meters ahead of the cart. She extended her forcefield to the sides just as it hit. Splintered wood and fruits exploded everywhere. Everywhere except behind Princess Luna.

The Crusaders finally had noticed the situation, letting loose a scream of surprise and shock that quickly died down into a confused murmur.

The cart's owner charged down, skidding to a stop just in front of the wreckage. "Everypony alright?" he asked. "Sorry about that! The darn wheel came off at precisely the wrong time!"

"We're alright," Scootaloo said, looking over her shoulder. Being the only one of the Crusaders to react beyond shrieking, she had jumped in front of Cheerilee, who had been first in the runaway cart's path.

"Thankfully, nopony was hurt," Luna said, turning her attention back to the driver. "You should be more careful, though."

"Yes, ma'am, I'll definitely try," he said. "It's the road's fault, though. It's never been even. It's been causing ponies to loose carts and baby strollers for years!" He paused, then looked down at the ground. "Huh. Well, repaving the whole dang thing might just cut the problem off at the roots."

Luna winced, looking down at the street. It had become a massive spiderweb of shattered stone, and at this point, crushed fruit matter and splintered wood. She lifted her hooves out of the small holes they had landed in. "Sorry, I panicked," she said. Her horn lit up, and she began scraping the cart's wreckage off the street with magic.

"Ha! Ain't no worry, Princess! Lives are worth more than both the street and the cart. And the fruit, too!" He grimaced. "Ooh...don't let the missus hear me sayin' that last part, though. Especially after I just...lost the...cart..." He sat there a moment, then bowed his head dejectedly. "Dang it."

"Well...I'm afraid there's not much I can do about the cart," Luna apologized. "That's completely destroyed. Restoring it would be twice the effort of building a new one. And...admittedly, I know not of building carts in the first place." She focused her attention on the road, pouring magic into it. Shattered stones returned together, cracks sealing, dust reforging into the stones it had once been.

A restoration spell on that scale was an effort even for her, yet 'an effort' was all it was. The road was as good as new—better, if the cart driver was to be believed—within a minute.

"Whoa, nelly!" the driver shouted, trotting backwards a few steps. "How the...what the...oh my stars!"

Luna looked back at Cheerilee. "Citrus is new in town," the teacher explained.

"Ah. Not seen much out of the ordinary, then?"

"No, ma'am! Not since Princess Twilight's coronation, anyhoo." He chuckled to himself. "Ah. Bloody freakin' Windigos. Thanks for the help, Princess, but I gotta canter now. Best to get a new cart quickly."

"Needst assistance?"

"No, ma'am, thank you kindly, though," Citrus said, before turning and trotting off.

"Thanks, Luna!" Sweetie Belle said. "We owe you big time!"

"Don't mention it. Anypony else would have done the same."

"I don't think anypony else could have done the same," Applebloom said. "You blew that whole cart to smithereens!"

"Er...yes, but I could have simply stopped it with my magic," Luna said. "I panicked." She paused, then bent down, picking up one of their school books. "Here, let me help with--" She stopped short, then cocked her head, looking at the picture in the book. "That is not what Heavy Head looked like," she said, lifting it up in front of her.

"I beg your pardon?" Cheerilee said.

"I knew him!" Luna said, examining the portrait. "Heavy Head was just his name, his head was not that grotesquely exaggerated. And he had the funniest mustache! It was all poofy and it curled up at the sides like a giant smile!" She lifted the book on level with her head.

"You...you met him?" Sweetie asked. "How?"

"I am over a thousand years old," Luna replied. "Yes, I met him. Knew him quite well, actually."

"You were friends with our history books?" Applebloom said. Then, she tapped her chin, smiling in that way had when she'd just come up with an idea.

"I am not friends with your books; nor was I friends with Heavy Head," Luna corrected. "I knew him well, but he was...an unpleasant fellow." In ways that she wasn't sure she should explain to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Hey, Miss Cheerilee?" Applebloom began, turning to the teacher.

"Yes?" Cheerilee asked, in the same apprehensive manner Starswirl had when hearing out Luna's not-so-brilliant ideas.

"What if we had Luna tell us about these people?" Applebloom said. "That's even better than what the book has!"

"That's a great idea!" Scootaloo said. "That would be much better for our presentation!"

"Presentation?" Luna asked.

As usual, however, the Cutie Mark Crusaders plowed on ahead without looking back. "That would be so cool!" Sweetie exclaimed.

"Less reciting boring stuff from a book, more stuff directly about the ponies from Luna herself!" Scootaloo said.

Cheerilee looked offended by the statement. Luna almost felt sorry from her, but her own thoughts on school rather reflected the Cutie Mark Crusader's.

"Wouldn't this be better?" Applebloom asked Cheerilee.

"I suppose," Cheerilee admitted. "But Pr—ahem, Luna is probably quite busy."

"We can also speak for ourself," Luna said. "Er...that is to say, I was actually bored out of my mind. I'd be quite happy to help!"

"Ah...alright," Cheerilee finally relented.

The Crusaders cheered. "What exactly did I just agree to?" Luna asked Cheerilee quietly.

"They volunteered to put together a presentation about early Equestrian historical figures," Cheerilee replied. "I believe you just have to share your own personal experience about them."

"I see. I hope you three are aware," Luna began aloud. The three Crusaders paused, looking to her. "...That I was banished to the Moon for a thousand years. My knowledge of events around that time might be out of date, and I have no knowledge of events between then and my return."

"No problem!" Applebloom said, tapping the top book in her wagon with a hoof. "We can always double check afterwards! And it'll still make the whole thing a lot more interesting!"

"Very well! Let us proceed!" Luna stomped her right forehoof twice. The Crusaders cheered loudly.

Luna smiled to herself, as they charged off down the road. Luna took to the air, then looked down at Cheerilee. "A pleasure seeing you, Miss Cheerilee! And I'm glad to have been of service." With that Luna flew off.

Cheerilee waved goodbye, but slowed and paused as she looekd around her. The schoolyard was covered in splintered woods, bent nails, and splattered fruit goo. A large glob of the latter fell off the top of the swing set, splattering across the grass.

Cheerilee sighed.

Luna landed besides the Crusaders, swiftly changing to a trot to keep pace with them. "Is my sister still trying to learn to apple-buck?" she asked.

"Er, yes," Applebloom said.

"No luck, I take it?"

"She's destroyed four apple trees," Applebloom said.

Luna smiled. "Never did have much finesse," she commented.

"So...how old are you?" Scootaloo asked. "And...did you not age on the moon?"

"Scootaloo!" Applebloom chastised.

"What? It's relevant!" Scootaloo bristled.

"Yeah, but it's not really appropriate to ask," Sweetie Belle pointed out.

"Tis fine," Luna said. "I...am not sure if my time on the moon halted my aging any, actually, as Alicorns are immortal."

"Immortal?" Scootaloo asked. "As in, you don't age, or...you can't die? Ever?"

"There are ways to kill an Alicorn, but it's...an involved process," Luna said. "And I'm certain you don't really need to know about that. But no, I don't age. My exact age is about..." She paused.

"Luna?" Applebloom asked after a moment.

"Hold on, one moment," Luna said, stopping in her tracks. The Crusaders gathered just ahead of her. "I'm not...exactly sure," Luna said. "We were born shortly before Equestria was founded, during the reign of the Windigos. That would make me...thirteen hundred and...something."

"How do you put 'and something' candles on a cake?" Scootaloo asked.

"How do you put thirteen hundred candles on a cake?" Applebloom retorted dryly.

"I have never liked cakes like my sister has," Luna informed them. "And I certainly don't care to have them tarnished by sticking melting pieces of wax in them. As for my sister, she simply always says that she's twenty-nine. I think she means it as a joke, but it's how ponies forgot about how old she really was." Luna smiled.

"Does it ever get lonely?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Luna looked at her. Sweetie was staring at her with a look of pity.

"Yes," Luna admitted. She lifted up one of the history books with magic, holding it in front of the Crusaders. "I knew most of these ponies. Some of them, I was quite good friends with. Now, they are gone. It can be...quite lonely at times, yes. But I'd rather it this way then to never have known them at all." She put the book back in their wagon. "You three are proof enough of that. Now, come! I think I spy the first of your apple trees approaching us yonder."

"Uh—approaching fast!" Scootaloo called out, before shooting under a bench. Luna turned, seeing an apple tree falling from the sky.

She fired a blast of magic, vaporizing it into tiny splinters and ash, which scattered around the group.

"Oh," Scootaloo said, rising from underneath the bench she'd hidden under. "Well, that's done."

"Couldn't you have...just picked it up?" Applebloom asked.

"You want me to snatch a giant, falling tree out of the sky with my magic?" Luna asked slowly.

"If you can pick up the moon, I think you can manage a tree."

Luna blushed. "I panicked," she admitted.

"So is that five trees now?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Eeyup," was all Applebloom replied.

Luna smiled to herself, as they began down the path to the Cutie Mark Crusader tree house once more.

Getting in the clubhouse turned out to be a unique challenge.

A treehouse designed for fillies, and begrudgingly, a few adult mares, did not have a doorway sized for a princess. Even when she attempted to crouch and fit through, her horn hit the top of the frame.

"Maybe...maybe she can just teleport in?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Luna sighed, then turned to shadow. The Crusaders gasped, which was the reaction Luna had feared, but she still shot into the clubhouse. Thankfully, the room was much taller than their doorway would imply, so she simply took up her usual form.

"You can do that?" Scootaloo burst out.

"I have always been able to do so," Luna explained. "Ever since I got my Cutie Mark. Or are you forgetting last Nightmare Night?" She shifted into her Nightmare Moon form. "Powerful unicorn magic."

"Could I learn to do that?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Doubtfully," Luna said, returning to her usual size. "Besides, I don't think you'd have much use for it." She lifted the books, arranging them around herself in a half-circle. "Alright. Where do we start?"

"Let's start with Heavy Head!" Scootaloo said. "You said he had a funny mustache, right?"

"Ha! Indeed. And his head was...considerably smaller than he is portrayed in this book."

"What about this one?" Applebloom asked.

"Pony Appleseed," Luna said. "The pony who discovered the first apple trees. Should have expected you'd want to know about him, really. We didn't call him that back then, as I hope this book explains."

"And her!" Sweetie Belle said, pointing to a third picture.

"Merry Gold," Luna said with a nod. "One of the earliest threats we faced in our reign."

"Uh, girls?" Scootaloo said hesitantly. "Maybe...one at a time?"

The other two Crusaders and Luna stared at her for a minute, then shared a laugh. "We're in no rush," Luna said. "I have all day. Frankly, I've been bored out of my mind with nothing to do, so anything is a nice change of pace."

And it was a very nice change of pace. Luna hadn't really thought much about the nobility of old in some time, and the trip down memory lane was...nostaligc, and, at times, bittersweet.

"Hurricane was a grumpy spitfire," Luna said. "But she did have a soft spot every once in a while. For kids. Every once in a while, if I was lucky, she'd forget that I had grown up when she wasn't looking, and she'd let me off easy. Pudding Head and Platinum more or less retired later on down the line, but Hurricane kept busy. She'd help out however, and whenever, she could." Luna chuckled. "There was this one time a pack of cockatrices had ended up in the courtyard. We had to do our best to oust them, and swiftly! Hurricane and I were the first two on the scene. Hurricane actually got stuck hiding behind a boulder, out of sight of the cockatrices, and I was on my own. They can't actually petrify Alicorns, but we were the first, so nopony knew that yet. I was frozen with fear, and Hurricane was not happy. She kept yelling at me to blast them and screaming and swearing..." Luna shared a laugh with the Crusaders. "Hurricane taught me combat, while Celestia...watched. She never had a knack for it. Fighting was important, but to Hurricane, honor was just as important."

"Rainbow played Hurricane in a Hearths' Warming play," Scootaloo piped up.

"Yes, I saw. She did a very good job, though she didn't swear enough. I believe I've mentioned her foul streak?"

"Several times," Sweetie Belle said. "Seems like it reaaally stuck out to you."

"You don't exactly forget being called a--" Luna paused, then looked down at the Crusaders. "Well, I'd say it, but then I'd have to answer to your sisters..."

"Rainbow wouldn't mind!" Scootaloo said immediately.

"Er...yes, I don't think she would," Luna said.

Applebloom turned the page. "What about this one?"

"Scarlet Nighthawk," Luna said. "Yes, I knew him."

"Who was he, again?" Applebloom asked, frowning at the book. "There's just so many names! I can't keep track of them all!"

"Scarlet was a famed pegasus warrior, and considered high nobility," Luna explained. "When tensions rose, it was he that the pegasus factions put forth to resolve the issues."

"Political marriage, right?" Sweetie Belle said. Both the other Crusaders looked at her.

"Why am I even surprised anymore?" Scootaloo muttered, turning back to her notebook. "Okay, Scarlet Nighthawk. Famous warrior, high noble, and...who did he marry?"

Luna smiled. "Well, who were the Princesses at the time?"

"Well, that would have been--" Scootaloo paused. "Wait, you?"

"Yes," Luna said, turning back to the picture. "At that point, Scarlet was my second husband. The first had died of old age about...thirty years prior. Celestia was still dancing around the subject of a second political marriage, but I was done with it. Scarlet was...one of the best kinds of noble. He was kind-hearted and swift to act. He would not stand for any slights against those he loved—within the first year of our marriage, he challenged nine ponies to duels of honor for insulting me. And that's not counting the other challenges he made! Above all else, he genuinely cared for the kingdom that nobles often forget they are supposed to protect. Though...perhaps I should be a bit more honest with myself here. He had a habit of being rash, and never quite understood consequences." She shook her head sadly. "When tensions were highest between Equestria and the Dragonlands, he was one of the ones who proposed war. Twas...one of our biggest fights. We had not had a war in his life time. But I remembered war. I remembered the violence, the bloodshed, and...the crying. The spilling of tears of families on both sides, crying for those who were no longer there."

"I...I guess I never thought about that," Scootaloo said. "I mean, you read about all this stuff...and you sometimes forget. These things did happen. And...that meant ponies had to live with it."

Luna began flipping ahead, rappidly skimming through the next few pages.

"Eh? Luna?" Sweetie asked, tapping her on the shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"If he is there, then just ahead should be..." She stopped, then smiled broadly. "Ha. I knew you'd made it into the history books, you clever little filly."

"Um...who is she?" Applebloom asked.

"Skylight Nightingale. My daughter."

"You had a daughter?" Scootaloo burst out.

Luna raised an eyebrow at her. "What dost thou think the point of a political marriage is?"

"Erm...fair point," Scootaloo said, running a hoof through her mane and blushing.

"So, what did she do?" Applebloom asked. "Invent something amazing? Establish peace in a time of war? First pony to colonize...eh...I dunno, Ghastly Gorge?"

"I don't know," Luna said quietly.

"Eh? How?" Sweetie asked.

"She was seven when I was...banished." Luna turned the page, reading the lines carefully. "So no. I don't have a clue what she did. I don't...I just don't know."

"Oh, gosh," Applebloom said. "I'm so sorry. I--"

"Don't be sorry. It was my own fault. I chose to attempt to usurp the throne. The consequence was being banished. That meant I...never got to see her grow up. Her eighth birthday was just a couple of months away...I can't believe I missed it..." Luna turned to the next page.

"Well, we can...look up what she did!" Scootaloo said. "What does the book say?"

"In impersonal, incomplete account of only politically important things she did," Luna said. "Namely, that I ruined hers and Scarlet's political careers. No one trusted them after that. Celestia kept them from being banished, but Scarlet was eventually assassinated. Because of me."

"You don't know that!" Scootaloo burst out.

"Don't I?" Luna demanded. "Even if it wasn't because I became Nightmare Moon, my presence would there would have prevented his death. No assassin would have dared. Instead, I...I left. What could have been so important to me...that I just...was willing to...give them up?"

"I...I don't know," Sweetie Belle said. "But...you're back now! You became good again!"

"Two rights don't undo a wrong," Luna said. "Nothing can change the past. Nothing can change that they...my dearest Scarlet, and my...my precious Nightingale...are gone from me, forever. And it is my fault. I could have stayed with them. I could have...loved them like they deserved. I could have...could have been there, dammit!"

Luna hurled the book across the room, where it slammed into the wall before falling to the ground. The windows rattled, the pane cracking as Luna shook, breathing heavily.

Then, Applebloom reached over, putting one hoof on the Alicorn's shoulder. Luna turned, looking to the young Earth pony. Applebloom hugged her.

Luna sat still for a moment, then wrapped her wings around Applebloom. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay," Applebloom said. "I'm sorry, too."

Sweetie and Scootaloo leaned in, hugging Luna as well. Luna breathed shallowly, tears dripping down her muzzle and onto the floor. "I miss them," she whispered.

"I wish I'd been able to meet Mom and Dad," Applebloom said. "Ain't nothing I can do about. This one yeh can't magic your way out of. Nopony can do anything about it. We just have to...live on. Without them."

"I know," Luna said. "Better to have known them, and miss them, then to have never known them at all."

She hugged them tightly. "I'll miss you girls one day, too."

"Don't worry about that just yet," Scootaloo said. "We're gonna be here for a while yet, Luna."

"So don't worry about that," Sweetie said. "Because we're here now. And when we're gone, you'll be glad to have known us at all."

Luna nodded, then wiped her eyes. "Thank you," she said. "I'm...very glad I got to know you three. Now..." She smiled, pulling the book back over. "Let's help you finish your project."

Author's Note

So it has officially been one year since my father died. It is a surreal experience, especially for someone like me who doesn't process certain emotions properly. From the outside our routine hasn't changed much, but every day just little things remind me that he isn't here anymore. Saying 'Dad used to say' instead of 'Dad says' or the fact that he no longer works in his room anymore, and I can't talk to him about some of the video games he used to play. Even bringing out dishes, I remember that there's one plate I'm not setting out for him.

So, that's what this is. Me, writing in the face of memories. For the good times. For the bad times, too, because I'm thankful for both. As Saint John Chrysostom said, "In all things, glory be to God."

With that in mind, thank you for reading this. Thank those of you who gave me well wishes, thank you for any prayers you sent. God bless you, and be thankful for everything that is.