The Xenophile's Guide to Equestria

by archonix

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Lyra, Original Character, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 39854

A chronicle of Twilight Sparkle's life with the human Lero and his herd. Based on Xenophilia.

Twilight Sparkle presents a collection of interviews, letters, essays, poetry and prose compiled over several years of her relationship with the human Bellerophon and his "herd", covering subjects as broad as Equestrian social taboos, comparisons of earth and Equestrian mythology, romance and the occasional recipe. Compiled by Twilight Sparkle, with foreword by Her Royal Highness, Princess Celestia.

(This is a bit of an experiment based on the worldbuilding concepts presented in AnonAuthor's Xenophilia [[NSFW] - caveat lector!], which intrigued me enough to want to take a closer look. It's likely you'll be very confused by this unless you read at least some of Xenophilia. Updates will appear as and when an idea pops into my head for a thing to add. And fair warning, some of this might come across very dry and dusty. Thank you academia! And thank you AnonAuthor for letting me have a go, and both AnonAuthor and AnonponyDASHIE for all the collab work they're doing. I'll make up for the dust by tossing in the odd piece of art now and then.)

Published 2012-10-23 03:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-03 17:51:58 UTC

Foreword and Introduction

The Xenophile's Guide to Equestria

A collection of works dedicated to providing a greater understanding of Equestrian society, from multiple authors in multiple fields.

Compiled by Twilight Sparkle

Including Foreword by HRH Princess Celestia

First Edition Copyright © 1218 AC by University of Canterlot Press
Published by Canterlot University Press
100-132 Slope Street, Canterlot, Equestria

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
duplicated, stored or transmitted by any means physical or arcane,
except by permission of Ponyville Metropolitan University Press or the Author.

EBN: 202-9-65-784533-2

Dedication

To Princess Celestia;

for her support and friendship

and for showing me how to

make friends.

To the herd of Bellerophon;

who taught me

to be still, and to be free

and

To Lero;

Through your eyes I

beheld the world anew

Foreword

It is unusual that I write the foreword to a first edition of any book, save for those few rare and exceptional works that appeared to define the age in which they were written and it has been my pleasure to see those choices validated time and time again. The question of selection bias aside, again I find within my hooves a manuscript that promises to both define the understanding of our era, but also holds the promise of future interaction with races beyond this world.

The arrival of the Human, Bellerophon, marked a turning point in our understanding of the universe. The first creature to arrive from a world beyond our own, Lero has become something of a celebrity simply by his existence and caused more than a little controversy through his marriage to his herd, over which I had the great pleasure to preside, a pleasure rendered all the greater by his choice to include Twilight Sparkle within his circle of affection.

Yet it is not merely his behaviours that this book deals with, but our own. Through Lero's eyes and through the words of her friends and family, Twilight Sparkle has taken a critical and deep view of our society and distilled out its essentials, all for the benefit of any race that may one day find their way to our world as Lero did.

I consider myself honoured to have been Twilight's mentor for so many years and I am immensely proud of her achievements under my tutelage, though which she has taught me as much as I have taught her. She has already accomplished much in her life, authoring numerous studies on the sociology of interpersonal relationships and the seminal work on the ethics of reintroducing forgotten magic to modern society; and undertaken the creation of entirely novel forms of magical study, a pursuit which both I and Princess Luna have wholeheartedly supported.

Despite it's uncharacteristically disorganised nature, this book represents the pinnacle of Twilight's work to date and stands above any other on the subject, as both a guide for the outsider and as a careful dissection of our own subconscious perceptions and beliefs. I was pleasantly surprised at how often my own preconceptions about our society were challenged by the work presented here. It is my sincere hope that this work may one day be joined by similar examinations of the other great races of our world and of other worlds, should they ever find a way to join us.

Princess Celestia

Introduction

How does a pony look to the eyes of another being? It's not a question we ask too often and usually with good reason; we live in a world filled with myriad sapient species and we ourselves are, as a species, three parts of a whole. We believe we know ourselves because we know one another so well; we believe we know how others perceive us as a result of this.

How does our society appear to an outsider? In truth we don't know. We may ask the Griffon and be told that we are soft; ask the Sheep and be told we are hard and cruel; ask the Dragon and be ignored for a century and then told we are not worth paying attention to because we inconsiderately die before we've allowed sufficient examination of the question at hand.1 Nevertheless, all the species on our world share some essential commonalities; for all their differences our races are, at some fundamental sociological level, the same.

We are the same because we share that innate knowledge of the Other: we understand that we are not alone, that we have other races to observe and that they observe us. We may think it makes us cosmopolitan and self-aware, but we forget that they share our world and we share theirs. We and they are not outsiders to one another, but merely expressions of the same harmonious whole.

This is not to deny differences nor to belittle the contribution of interspecies relations and study, but merely to question that primary assumption everypony makes when considering their behaviour, conscious and subconscious: that they are able to consider their lives from the view of an outsider when no such outsider exists.

The essential idea for this collection was first formed shortly after my interaction with the alien we came to know as Bellerophon, or Lero to his friends. Lero caused quite a storm when he entered our world, appearing without fanfare on the fringes of the Everfree Forest2 via means that would not be known for some time. He was quickly taken under the wing of the pegasus Rainbow Dash, who endeavoured to teach him everything she could about our society, from sports and games to work and personal interactions, up to and including romance and mating.

The concept remained dormant until I had spent more time with Lero and undertaken an embryonic attempt to construct a model for his society from analogues amongst the races that inhabit our world. That early model was, to say the least, of limited success due to there being no true analogue for his species here.

In fact, the world Lero originated from is dominated by a single sapient species, Homo sapiens sapiens – descended from creatures somewhat similar in appearance to the great apes3 – and has been so for many tens of thousands of years. As such, his view of the relationship between species is vastly different from our own and could be described as untainted by the assumptions we all have toward one another.

As I came to know Lero in a much more personal way I began to understand how truly different his worldview was. At that point I realised that it would be possible and indeed beneficial to use his views and modes of thought to undertake a complete examination of our society, in order to both provide him with a more detailed understanding of the world in which he now lived, to provide a means for any future visitors to quickly come to terms with our way of life and for ponies themselves to study and better appreciate the ways in which we subconsciously and consciously behave toward one another.

Because Lero has already begun to assimilate many of the concepts of Equestrian society it was not possible to provide a pure outsider's view of our social interactions. However, this instead created an opportunity to provide context through the inclusion of other works and in the process to produce a book that I hope will appeal to a much broader audience than my usual academic readers. Therefore, through the compilation of interviews and correspondence, interspersed with monographs and thoughts from myself, my family and experts in the field we have together endeavoured to provide you, the reader, with the most complete and detailed analysis of everything we ponies normally take for granted about ourselves.

Twilight Sparkle (M.Frnd, M.Scry, D.Thau)

of Bellerophon

Permanent Chair

Department of Metaphysics, Technomancy and Theoretical Magic

Canterlot University

Equinas, Chasing the Dragon - The Ageless Philosophy of the Flying Lizard (Victor Plebia Books, 1194)

Glint Eastwither, The Everfree Forest and why every bloody thing turns up there (Canterlot University Press, 1188)

Archaeological studies in the Zebrican homeland recently uncovered an extinct relative of the Gracile Plains Ape, Pan pediobates, that appears sufficiently differentiated from other members of panini to require the reorganisation of the family heminidae4 with a new subfamily, tentatively named hemininae. The presence of this and other modern equivalent species on Lero's Earth appears to raise fairly fundamental questions about the similarities between our world and that of the Humans. However, the limitations of space and scope prevent a detailed analysis of such questions.

Ancient Equestrian: “Soil dwellers”

Selected Correspondence between Twilight Sparkle and HRH Princess Celestia

Selected Correspondence of Twilight Sparkle and HRH Celestia

With thanks to the Canterlot National Archive for portions of this text. The following correspondence is included to provide background material for subsequent discussions and interviews and is published without correction. Further correspondence shall be included in later chapters to provide additional context.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today is a little difficult. Bellerophon let me know this morning that he’s earned enough money to purchase a small house in town. He’s going to be on Zweibrücker Road, near the park, so it’s not a long way from here, but I feel very odd that he’ll be leaving shortly.

Spike seems to be taking it better than I am. He’s spent the last few days complaining about hair in the shower stall. I’m not sure Bellerophon could even fit in there, and I have no idea when Spike started taking showers.

Rainbow Dash still spends almost every day with him, showing him around and introducing him to all those crazy sports she likes to play. Hoofball seems to be their favourite, though how he can stand to do something so violent with those delicate appendages of his, I really don’t know. Then again they seem to be more than capable of great strength, which is something I had planned on studying in more detail when the opportunity arose. Perhaps it still shall, but it will be more difficult once he’s out from under my roof.

Look at me rambling on like he’s already left! Perhaps this is a taste of how I’ll feel when Spike finally sets out on his own.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

What you are experiencing is the same as any mentor figure towards a favoured student, or any parent toward a child. Or a pony toward any close friend whom circumstance takes away.

In other circumstances you may have felt compelled to ask him to leave, but the feelings would be the same. Remember that you are still his friend. Even if you grow distant, that which you shared in your time together with this human will enrich your life. I am sure he will appreciate any time you make for him, and I am equally sure he will make time for you.

If you wish to discuss this issue further, you are free to write or even visit any time. I am always here.

Princess Celestia

Dear Princess Celestia,

Lero continues to integrate well. He has finally completed his modifications to the house he purchased, even going so far as to make himself some very strange, very large furniture. It feels like being in a giant’s castle when I visit. You might feel at home there.

The others are cautious around him still, though in a good sort of way I suppose. Applejack has finally warmed to him after he fixed a hard-to-get leak on her roof but she still seems to be fairly stand-offish. I think he just confuses her. I know he confuses me at times, and I’ve spent a lot of time getting to know him.

Not as much as a certain pegasus, mind you. Rainbow Dash is spending more and more time with Lero these days. We all have our suspicions but it seems like Lero hasn’t noticed, and knowing Rainbow it’s likely she hasn’t noticed either. Applejack is talking about a pool on the outcome of their times together, which I think is a terrible thing to do to a friend. As such I’ve put myself down for no more than three bits on the spread.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I feel somewhat concerned that I did not pay attention to your previous mention of Bellerophon’s interaction with Rainbow Dash. They do appear to have become very close, if your prior correspondence is anything to go by.

Evidently Rainbow Dash has taken Bellerophon under her wing and considers herself to be his guardian and guide. It is admirable to see such dedication to a relative stranger, and I would expect nothing less from the Element of Loyalty herself. It is interesting that she should display any sort of attraction toward an alien creature, yet ultimately it is personality that defines such things.

This is a delicate situation, which I am sure you and your friends shall handle with same tact and sensitivity that I and my sister would surely display.

Princess Celestia

To our Friend, Twilight Sparkle,

We wish to enter this ‘pool’ of which you spoke, with an opening wager of ten bits on successful consummation within a month.

Cordially,

Princess Luna

Dear Princess Celestia,

They just told us. Applejack and I, that is. Today. It’s probably the most adorable situation I’ve seen since Spike discovered he had a tail. Lero and Rainbow were pretending to be just friends but it was so obvious that they were together, the way they were sitting even closer together than usual made it pretty easy for even I to see there was something definitely going on. And then they kissed.

I like to think I’m a tolerant mare but that was incredibly unusual to see. Still adorable.

We’ve promised not to tell anypony else, though I’m making an exception for you as this is more than relevant to my continued studies of friendship. Rainbow will surely understand.

In fact secrecy may explain some of their behaviour, such as the lack of obvious courtship, though it seemed obvious Lero had no idea what Applejack was talking about when she mentioned his not having a flower. It’s made me realise again just how alien Lero is; even the most isolated Griffons know about the flowers.

I will have to study this further at some point.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle.

P.S. I’ve enclosed a banker’s draft for Luna’s winnings.

Twilight,

I am not entirely sure how to react to this news, given the very secretive way they are going about their relationship, but I wish your friends all the very best. Please keep me informed of their progress. Given everything he has endured, I would dearly like to see Lero find happiness here.

I shall speak with Luna later.

Princess Celestia

Ponyville Perspectives

Ponyville Perspectives

We welcome the human to our fair town as we would welcome any other visitor. The Princesses have granted him citizenship of Equestria and no less than Princess Celestia’s own personal student, Twilight Sparkle, has vouched for his decency and equinity. Whilst I do not know him personally, I am sure he is an honourable being, who will bring much of worth to our community.
- Mayor Mare

Ain’t right, letting things like that stay here. Ponyville’s for Ponies, that’s why it has the name. Bad enough that dragon hangs around the place, at least he’s small. I seen chimps in a zoo, all friendly one minute, then tearin’ one another apart the next. They eat their own kind, throw their shit and scream over nothin’. This here ape should just go back in his cage.
- Tricky Narrows

Don’t rightly understand him but I ain’t about to argue with Twilight. If she thinks he’s safe, he’s safe, and that’s the end of it. Besides, he did a dang good job fixing my roof.
- Applejack

Never saw anything stranger in my life. What did you say he was called? A ‘human’? He walks around in that shirt all the time, it must be dreadfully smelly by now. How can he stand it? Oh he could live in the palace for all I care as long as he doesn’t eat my filly or something equally trite and cliché. Perhaps I shall have a closer look some time.
- Filthy Rich

The fact that he’s walking around without a mare is the worst part. He should be kept somewhere safe so nopony can take advantage of him or do anything to exploit his naivete. It’s just not fair to him otherwise.
- Lavender Breeze

What do I think of his hands? I’ve honestly never thought about it.
- Lyra Heartstrings

He seems friendly, but I’d be nervous letting him around the school unsupervised. The foals seem to be fascinated with him, though, and they’re always talking about where they saw him on a particular day. Oh, no, I’m not worried he’ll do anything to them, I’m more worried what they’ll do to him. Especially those three.
- Cheerilee

Fascinating shape, darling. I’ve always wanted to try new things with other species but I’ve never really had the chance up to now. Spike, Twilight’s little assistant, is the only non-pony I’ve had the opportunity to experiment with and he’s far too young to really try anything adventurous. It all seems so dreadfully exciting doesn’t it? The opportunity to undertake something truly unique. I can’t wait to get him into my Boutique so I can have him all to myself. Do you suppose he’ll look good in black?
- Rarity

Interview with Rainbow Dash

Interview with Rainbow Dash

Transcript of an interview between Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash.

Date: 1215/08/02
Time: 11:32 am
Duration: 16 minutes

Interviewer: TWILIGHT SPARKLE
Interviewee: RAINBOW DASH

(Start of Interview)

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Okay I think it’s recording. Say something- uh, say something testy.

RAINBOW DASH: I don’t- I- testing? I dunno. (pause) What- what the hay is that anyway?

TS: It’s a compact recording device. Lero gave me the idea, though-

RD: Figures.

TS: -he said something about using magnetised tape which, well, I don’t quite know what that meant but I thought- I didn’t want to use a record mastering set because they’re too big, so I enchanted a crystal to record audio on a substrate magical field-

RD: Twilight-

TS: -within its physical structure and- yes, love?

RD: I get it. Egghead stuff. Uh, how do you know it’s working?

TS: Oh well, I tested it before, but-

RD: So it’s working?

TS: -I can test it again, let me just turn it off and play-

(recording ends)

(recording resumes)

RD: -totally do not sound like that, no way, you fix it-

TS: Rainbow, it’s a completely-

RD: -and then maybe we can talk.

TS: - faithful representation of the sounds it recorded. You heard my voice just fine, right?

RD: (long pause) Fine. But I still don’t sound like that.

TS: (Quiet chuckle) Sure, Rainbow.

RD: Twenty percent more awesome-

TS: This again. (laughter)

RD: -that’s how I gotta sound. (laughing)

TS: Okay, uh, so the interview?

RD: Uh, right, the- is it really important?

TS: (pause) Yes. Yes it is. So lets-

RD: I mean it’s not like we don’t know anything about- you aren’t gonna ask me about deep dark scary secrets?

TS: Not unless you have some. It’s just for the book, Rainbow, that’s all.

RD: Oh. Oh yeah!

(hoofsteps, shuffling)

TS: So without further ado. (aural signature) Interview number one of- of several I guess?

RD: (laughter)

TS: Subject, Rainbow Dash, first mare of Bellerophon-

RD: Come on Twi, you know I think that sounds weird.

TS: I’m trying to be formal for the recording.

RD: (chuckles) Good luck with that.

TS: Fine, starting again. (page turning) Interview subject, Rainbow Dash, of the herd of Bellerophon, interview number one of- you know what, lets just forget that part. Interview commences Eleven thirty two am, the second of august one thousand, two hundred and fifteen. Anno Celesti.

RD: Because we might be in the pre-classical era.

TS: (laughing)

RD: We’d totally rock the world.

TS: No Lero, though.

RD: Ri- right. Yeah. That’d suck.

TS: So (pause) So yeah, lets start at the start. When did you first meet Lero?

RD: Properly? Like, not just seeing? (pause) Maybe about half a week after you- we found him-

TS: Meeting as in interacting, talking- oh-

RD: -you’d taken him and nursed him back to health I guess and then you introduced him to all of us.

TS: And your first impressions?

RD: Big. I mean huge, and not-

TS: (laughing)

RD: Twi, come on, be serious.

TS: Sorry, I guess I’ve picked up your dirty mind. (pause, inaudible) Okay, go on.

RD: Tall then. He was tall, and really awkward looking too and his eyes looked so tiny compared to ours, like- like a horse’s eyes, y’know? For a while I was kinda creeped out. He smelled nice though, real nice.

TS: So... confusing, you’d say?

RD: Yeah, I guess-

TS: He did smell nice, I remember that.

RD: -it was kinda a mixed signal? Anyway- yeah he did- anyway I guess all the confusion- he didn’t, uh, seem- I mean I guess I didn’t trust him, you know? Even if he’d spent time with you-

TS: In fairness he spent most of it asleep.

RD: -and I guess that- really?

TS: Like a foal. I suppose you just found something else in common with him? (laughter)

RD: Very funny.

TS: Okay. (pause) Okay. You got over your trust issues with Lero very quickly-

RD: He cracked a joke. I can’t-

TS: And then you, uh- he-

RD: -I can’t even remember what it was but it was hilarious.

TS: Right. So uh, he- you got over all that. And you started spending some time with him?

RD: Yeah. Uh, he was cool, really cool I mean. He had all these awesome stories about his world and he listened to me when I told him things about ours too, like he was really interested. He wasn’t like other guys, he really-

TS: Not like other stallions?

RD: -kinda clicked- uh, no, not- not like other stallions.

TS: I just wanted to be sure that came across.

RD: Right? Uh, yeah. He was more like a mare. I mean he-

TS: That must have been odd. For you, I mean.

RD: Yeah. (pause) Anyway he was really assertive when he wanted and he didn’t act like I was just telling him what to do all the time, or like- you know how some stallions get all snotty and try to be equal and stuff? Always complaining when a mare does anything nice and then acting offended when you point it out?

TS: I don’t- I haven’t come across that.

RD: Yeah well, your books probably wouldn’t complain much. (laughter) He was just one of the girls most of the time. Only- (pause). I dunno.

TS: What?

RD: He didn’t know anything. Like, anything. I told you about how he accidentally touched-

TS: (giggling) Yeah!

RD: I mean he didn’t know anything. I swear I spent most of the first month trying to show him stuff and he still didn’t get it most of the time.

TS: You seem to have done a good job anyway.

RD: You know it!

TS: For the record, how did you get from creepy with nice smell to, well, all this?

RD: Um, well that- I (pause) don’t know?

TS: Okay let me ask it another way. What caused you to start trusting Lero?

RD: Oh. Um (pause) You know I don’t do all that lovey dovey stuff, right?

TS: Sure, you don’t.

RD: Okay, because that’s totally not what-

TS: (whispering) Cuddlebug.

RD: -was going on, um, I mean I saw him around town a few times after we met. He was just walking around and looking at stuff, or sitting on a bench, or under a tree or whatever. A lot of the time he was, uh, reading books you’d given him.

TS: He is a pretty voracious reader.

RD: I guess. Anyway sometimes he’d head out of town and I figured he was just exploring. Who wouldn’t? New place, new things to see. So uh, this one day I saw him heading up to the Saddles-

TS: Near the Everfree Forest?

RD: Yeah. Most of the time he was up there staring at the town, but this one day I saw him right at the edge of the forest. He wasn’t doing anything, just staring at it, and then he suddenly turns around and walks back.

TS: Sensible. I told him the Everfree was dangerous, but he never listens.

RD: If he listened to you he’d still be in that library, buried under a pile of books.

TS: You say that like it’s a bad thing! (laughing)

RD: So it turns out he’s going up there a lot. I mean a lot. Fluttershy said she’d seen him up there maybe four or five times, scouting the edge of the forest and hitting stuff with sticks, like he was, I dunno- she didn’t really say he was in a bad mood or anything. So next time I see him up there, I fly right down and ask him what the hay he’s doing. He just looks at me for a really long time and then says nothing and starts walking back to town.

TS: Taciturn.

RD: What? Is that, like, tree sap or something?

TS: No it- never mind, tell the story.

RD: Oh- okay. (pause) So I say nothing? And then he’s all like I just wanna know what’s in there. So I tell him there’s loads of dangerous animals, like manticores, hydras, cockatrices, Zecora, more poisonous plants than you can shake a wing at-

TS: Zecora?

RD: -sea serpents, ursas, diamond dogs-

TS: I get the picture!

RD: Hey, that’s what he said! So um, then he started telling me how they don’t have any of that where he comes from and they’re all just myths and stories made up in the ancient past. Like, pegasi are mythological there. Dude, you did not just tell me I’m a myth, I’m right here! He acts like I’m a scary monster I play along with it for a bit, which was kinda fun. Then asks about some of our mythology.

TS: He did read about a lot of that.

RD: I tell them way better.

TS: I suppose he was trying to get a better understanding of our culture. It’s what I would do if I wanted to try and integrate into an alien society.

RD: Yeah, because you’re an egghead. (laughing) So I had the day off and figured since he was so obviously bored if he had to go find his kicks in the Everfree, he should get a better introduction to the Dash. I took him out to my favourite practice spot, you know the one up by AJ’s place? Showed him a few sweet moves and finished off with a low-level pass right over his head. You should have seen him duck! And he was all like, Dash, you’re so amazing! (laughing)

TS: And that’s how you came to trust-

RD: No way, that was just showing off my moves. I mean he seemed cool and all but he was just- that came after. I was still kinda weirded out by those hands of his too, always wriggling like little pink rat tails and- oh but later I found out-

TS: Lets just not talk about that right now, okay?

RD: (pause) Right. Right. (pause) Is it warm in here?

TS: So, was it something he said?

RD: No it was- we spent another day hanging out on the hill, and I guess we ended up talking about family and stuff. I was telling him about Cloudsdale. Oh you shoulda seen his face, he still couldn’t really believe a pegasus could walk on clouds. I had to bring one down and show it to him and he still didn’t believe it, so he tries to step on the thing and got his legs soaked.

TS: Oh I remember that! I never did get a straight answer about how he got wet.

RD: (laughing) He looked so goofy buried up to his belly in cloud. We sat around for a bit and tried to dry him off in the sun, and while we’re waiting he starts telling me about a time he fell in some lake when he was a foal and how he ended up covered in mud all the way up to his neck. He started talking about how his sister teased him about it for months and then he just- kinda clammed up and put a hand over his face. (pause) Oh jeeze.

Gimme a sec. (inaudible)

TS: It’s okay, Rainbow.

RD: Yeah, it- yeah. (pause) Moment later he said he could have used a cloud shower right about then. Like, totally lame joke, but he was right back to the happy face again. That’s when I realised he wasn’t just some weird thing, he was really- he was so alone, but he kept right on going. He’d make a good weather pony.

TS: And so after that-

RD: Every day, soon as I finished work we’d go hang out together and head into town, or play sports. He was kinda slow and he got winded fast but man, those arms more than made up for it.

TS: Do you feel the way you acted toward others changed in any way after you’d spent some time with Lero?

RD: I- jeeze Twilight, that- that’s kinda tough. I dunno. Maybe?

TS: Maybe?

RD: Yeah, maybe. Oh I got one, like, stallions, I keep expecting them to be more, like, I dunno, Lero I guess? And when they don’t it pisses me- I can say that, right?

TS: It’s not a book for children.

RD: Oh, yeah, well it pisses me off when they act like-

TS: Stallions?

RD: -big foals- yeah. Okay so I know we gotta look after them, and there are some guys like Big Mac who aren’t idiots about it, if you know what I mean, but most of em are so- I don’t know. (pause) Male.

TS: (pause) And you consider this a negative trait?

RD: Twi-

TS: I’m not judging, Rainbow.

RD: (long pause) I dunno. Not negative. They’re guys, that’s how guys are. I just- Lero’s just different. Better, uh, I think, because it’s like he’s not scared of being seen as different. I mean he’s different already, how much more- I- you know what I mean, right?

TS: I think so.

(background audio, door opening)

(inaudible)

TS: You spent a lot of time talking about courting rituals.

RD: It- yeah it was kinda on my mind. For some reason. (laughter)

TS: How did it feel, having to explain them?

RD: Totally weird, but it was cool too, he seemed really into learning about it. (pause) He told me about some human courting rituals too- they’re completely backwards y’know?

TS: How so?

RD: Twi, you already know this-

TS: For the recording, love. For the recording.

RD: Okay, well (pause) You know how they’re a patriarchy? Like their guys are on top- uh, er, under-

TS: (laughter)

RD: Aw come on, you know what I mean!

TS: Sorry!

RD: (giggling) Anyway their mares are all showy, Lero says. They show off and try to attract the stallion and he has to give the mare gifts.

TS: That’s the backwards part.

RD: Yeah, but, uh, the stallion has to show off too or the mare might just leave anyway, so they all dress up, like, all the time and they’re giving each other presents, and it just keeps going on like that, like they’re competing to, uh, y’know be better at attracting their mate. I mean it’s not always like that, some of them- Lero could explain it better. They have to keep each other interested, I guess because they can easily find some other mare or stallion to spend time with. Compared to that, our stallions have it so easy getting dates, you know?

TS: You think they’re spoiled?

RD: I dunno if I’d put it that way. (pause) I guess I’m even more bent than I thought.

TS: I wouldn’t say that, Rainbow, after the other night-

(door opening)

LYRA HEARTSRINGS: Hey girls, what’s going on?

TS: Hi Lyra!

RD: Hey.

LH: Oh Twilight, is that your recorder thing? Shiny!

TS: I guess that’s probably a good place to end the interview.

LH: Oh that’s what this is? I’m so sorry, I completely forgot about that! Do you want me to-

RD: I’m gonna go find Lero-

LH: -sit in and maybe talk about- oh, he’s in the kitchen shelving groceries, I-

TS: Maybe we should-

LH: -thought maybe I should-

TS: I’m gonna turn th-

(recording ends)

Unique, Chic, Magnifique!

Unique, Chic, Magnifique!

The inimitable designer, Rarity, is interviewed by Times correspondent Baskerville Slant.

Originally published in the Manehattan Times Lifestyle Section, September 9th, 1216

Catapulted to success on the back of the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, the designer Rarity is these days synonymous with style, flair and exquisitely exacting professionalism. Working from her exclusive boutique in the fashionably remote rural district of Ponyville, Rarity is no stranger to controversy in a career that saw her at loggerheads with fashion artiste, Photo Finish, and in a very public spat with none other than Prince Blueblood.

In fact she seems to court controversy and intrigue rather than avoid it. Her latest move, providing the ensemble for what everypony is calling ‘The Wedding of the Century’, an event sure to outshine even Princess Cadenza's lavish ceremony, places her square against much of Canterlot’s fashion elite.

“But of course I’m not remotely concerned about any of that, darling,” she loudly declares as she leads us into the hidden depths of the Carousel Boutique. Rarity’s lack of worry seems to be written on her every movement as she prepares tea for the two of us, casually yet gracefully stepping around the broad expanse of her workroom. “You’ll have to excuse the mess too, darling. I was rather in the zone when you arrived, otherwise I would have entertained you somewhere more fitting.”

Profuse apologies for interrupting her work are dismissed with a casual wave of her hoof as she declares she was going to take a break anyway, before launching into a flurry of activity around a half-completed costume in the centre of the room.

At first her workroom appears chaotic, a sharp and glaring contrast to the public persona that has repeatedly taken Canterlot by storm. And yet within the chaos there is a strange order, the feeling that, at any moment, the work of a lifetime would emerge, whole and complete, from the scattered swatches, tools and apparently haphazard piles of jewellery.

She calls it “organised chaos” and considers it a part of her unique image. Does it not conflict with her fastidious reputation?

“A reputation well-deserved! Not a single item is out of place, and every one is where I wish it to be. The skill of a true artiste is to know when to pull tight and when to let the fabric flow, when the cut, when to fold and when to let the dress speak for itself. You could say the discovery of such precious moments is my special talent.”

The casual way it’s said belies something deeper. By now Rarity’s journey to adulthood is a well-known story, one she seems to love retailing whenever she is able. To so easily contradict herself now seems a little gauche, doesn’t it?

“But of course not! Once, I thought my special talent was finding jewels, until I realised that nature had played a rather mean trick by making my marchio dell’anca so obvious, even if it is positively gorgeous. It’s only when I noticed that the mark of a dear friend’s daughter was similar, despite her having no talent at all for finding gems of any sort, that I realised that jewels are merely the most obvious expression of what I do. My talent is to find beauty, dear. That and the ability to extract the thing I need, exactly when I need it, whether that’s a stash of gems, a pair of scissors or the perfect inspiration for my latest fashion line.”

As she continues to work, Rarity explains that the line she’s producing for the wedding won’t even be designed for several weeks. She wishes, she says, to keep it secret and ensure that she’s not behind the latest fashion trends, or even merely following them. Leading the herd is her only goal.

“Less chance for criticism that way,” she adds, finally letting her work rest once again. Where previously a rough collection of cloth patterns lay, the definite skeleton of another masterpiece now coils elegantly about the idealised form of pony perfection. Yet Rarity refuses praise for the item, declaring it “merely adequate”.

She’s saving her best work for the wedding, a subject to which we return again and again. Does she have reservations about working on something so controversial? The question seems to stump her for a moment.

“Some ponies seem to think I should. The sort of ponies that would abandon their own mothers to a hydra to make a few extra bits or catch a little fame. I have principles, darling! And besides, I’m the only mare Lero trusts to make his clothing these days. He’s really quite lucrative.”

And, as she goes on to explain, controversy is her bread and butter. “If I’m not making tongues wag with my work I’m not doing it properly. One supposes one could rest on one’s laurels for a while, but a while soon becomes the rest of your life. Or I could exploit the fame of being an Element of Harmony, or the fact that I’m just two degrees distant from the throne of Equestria, or just hoard jewels like some dragon and be wealthy that way. But where’s the excitement? That’s not success, darling, it’s just acquisition. So uninspired.”

As someone who sought controversy, then, would she have considered courting the human?

“Absolutely not. He’s really not my type at all. Besides, it seldom does to mix business and pleasure. Of course, in my case, my business is my pleasure so perhaps that isn’t the best advice to follow.”

Our talk is interrupted by another flurry of activity as Rarity returns to her work. She’s still on a break, she insists, but nevertheless the dress continues to take form. Who the piece is for remains a closely guarded secret, with Rarity only willing to concede that it will shortly grace a duchess of some repute.

The obvious question becomes, then, has Rarity seen her business in Canterlot drop off as her stance on the wedding has become more widely known?

As you might expect by now, she shows little concern. “If they choose to go elsewhere that is their business, of course, but they’ll not be able to find anypony up to my standards, and I would rather lose their business than abandon my friends.”

And her friends amongst Canterlot’s nobility who might disagree with her stance? “I have few true friends to begin with. Fancy Pants, the Sparkles, Princess Celestia of course, but few others. Lero in fact has more than I, not least that he moves in circles I’ve yet to enter thanks to those hands of his. Apparently friendship is something many a noble must sacrifice in order to be noble. It seems to be a rather sad life, even if it was one I once sought with all my heart. And no, before you ask, I wouldn’t dream of exploiting my friendship with Lero to gain more business. Now darling, if you’ll excuse me, I have a client arriving shortly.”

With an easy smile and a gentle hoof she leads the way to the shop floor of the Carousel Boutique, where incredible works of art grace are scattered almost haphazardly about the broad expanse of the floor. No sales counter, no waiting staff mar the scene. It is difficult to believe that such demure beauty could do what she has done, that such a pony could have saved Equestria countless times and still find room to create such magic. Only the sight of an unusual shop dummy in the background, towering over its counterparts in an awkward, upright pose, reveals anything remotely unusual about this elegant mare, who courts such controversy and risks so much of her life and business for the sake of her friends.

Baskerville Slant

Clothing and Nudity Taboos

Clothing and Nudity Taboos

First Published in the Equestrian Journal of Sociology and Equinology (August 1217, Issue 6750, Page 14)

Twilight Sparkle

It is said that Equestria has no nudity taboo.

In fact this is not true. The unstated social paradigm is that Equestria has no nudity taboo - or, more accurately, the social paradigm fails to address the subject of nudity entirely as, until recently, our society was generally unaware of the concept of a nudity taboo. It was only the arrival of the human, with his alien shape and unusual habits, that prompted any real discussion of even the idea of nudity in a social setting.

Bellerophon’s appearance on its own does not excite a great deal of interest. He shares some anatomical similarities with the great apes, especially the Zebrican Gracile Plains Ape, Pan pediobates, and both his unusual body structure and means of locomotion identify him as a creature unlike any most ponies might experience, yet in other respects he is similar enough to other more familiar species for this difference to be accepted. It was the small behaviours – the details of his interactions with other ponies – that singled him out as truly alien.

Of these behaviours, the most obvious and most remarked upon is that he wears clothing for so much of the day[1]. At a superficial level this is perceived to be an amusement and a curiosity that is soon dismissed. Sometimes, however, it raises more profound interest; why does he hide his body so?

With the concomitant but seldom-asked question: why do we not? And is it even true that we do not?

In fact, ponies regularly adorn their bodies with clothing to various degrees, and for varying periods of time. Most commonly ponies will wear accoutrements for a special occasion, such as a party, birthday or other group celebration, or even for no reason at all. Clothing in this role serves as a marker of social respect for an occasion, or just an opportunity to ‘show off’ in some way, to highlight some element of form, or for display, in much the same way a griffon might dye her feathers or a dragon might adorn himself with prized items from his hoard.

In the context of social gatherings, clothing and social hierarchy appear to be quite closely linked. Indeed, the more formal and ostentatious the event, the more elaborate the clothing becomes. No pony would ever attend the Grand Galloping Gala unadorned, for all that it’s just a large, rather sedate social gathering, yet many of those who fuss and preen for hours over their costumes will gladly attend a private birthday party in little more than a collar and tie, or nothing at all.

In the broader context, clothing again appears to play a prominent role in social hierarchy. A visit to Canterlot would confirm that many ponies walking the streets on a day to day basis are clothed the majority of the time. Many do not rise to more than the same collar and tie, a hat, or perhaps a frock, but the number of extremely elaborate costumes on display can be intimidating for those not used to the sight.

Detailed observation reveals a particular pattern in the way clothing is employed in such situations. Taking a brief overview of few examples we can begin to form a model of the way clothing is employed by particular social strata.[2] Generally speaking clothing falls into two uses: practical or functional; and decorative or non-functional.

Typically the more laborious and menial occupations require ponies to forgo clothing, except where they would require protective clothing such as overalls, or some sort of uniform. Often uniforms are limited to decorative clothing, but they perform a functional role in identifying the affiliation of the wearer and possibly their occupation.

Work overalls and protective clothing tend to be worn outside of work environments, but are typically perceived as ‘dirty’ or malodorous. The impression most ponies form when they see such clothing is usually quite negative[3] but tempered by the belief that necessity requires such clothing be worn.

The turn to clothing as more decorative comes with employment in secondary or service industries. Uniforms are often worn but they are, again, perceived as a necessary evil, a price to be paid for a higher income, and occasionally a small provision against environmental conditions. Most ponies working in the more service-oriented industries will forgo all but the most basic of decorative clothing.

As we climb the income ladder and find ourselves entering the wealthier and more influential social brackets, clothing begins to appear less optional, much more formal and, in particular, increasingly non-functional. Regular attendance at social events amongst high income earners places them under a requirement to be clothed on a more regular basis, and often such ponies may choose to wear clothes every day as a symbol of their wealth and social standing. Non-functional clothing worn on a regular basis would then seem to indicate a belief that a pony is part of a particular social stratum that is often perceived, rightly or wrongly, as ‘up and coming’ or, instead perhaps, ostentatious and overtly flaunting acquired wealth and status.

From here it might be expected that the trend is toward more and more elaborate clothing as we climb social ranks to the nobility and senior members of government. Instead the reverse appears to be the case. In the environment of Canterlot there is a clearly visible fashion toward reduced use of clothing once again, and such clothing as is worn tends to be extremely minimalist and decorative, a trend mirrored by – or mirroring – the lower social strata. Often the only discernible difference is the quality of materials used and the prevalence of jewellery, particularly worn on the head and horn.

At the very pinnacle of our social hierarchy we find the Princesses, who are seldom, if ever, seen wearing anything but their royal garb.

From this we can draw a few initial conclusions.

Social standing and clothing are not simply correlated. The use of clothing seems to peak around the upper middle class and tails off sharply after that point toward a minimalist position, possibly influenced by the minimalism of the diarchy’s choice of adornment.

The lower and upper classes tend to dress similarly, though whether this is a result of the upper classes attempting to present a ‘working class chic’, or whether the lower social strata are attempting to mimic the nobility, is unclear, and there is not room for a detailed study at this point.

In addition the upper-middle class, particularly those ascending to the so-called ‘new rich’, are perceived in a fairly negative light by both the nobility and the lower classes[4].

From this we may finally conclude that the use of clothing itself, rather than any particular concern over nudity, might generate confusion when faced with a creature that tends toward the regular use of clothing in a manner that doesn’t appear to match its perceived social standing.

As a being that chooses to wear clothing whenever possible, Bellerophon stands as a prominent example of this. As his reputation spread, so too did a confusion about his appearance which, in many cases, was rationalised as an aversion to his culturally-influenced choice to remain clothed in situations where most ponies would wear little or nothing at all.

However, it appears possible – indeed likely – that the superficial rejection of his choice is less to do with misunderstanding of his cultural background and as much to do with a subconscious belief that he is attempting to appear ‘above his station’. That is, by wearing clothing, yet finding employment in obviously low-skilled work as a ‘handy man’, the human is perceived to be attempting to appear to be more than he is, and thus generating a subconscious hostility in other ponies that is translated into a conscious discomfort of his apparent taboo.

Such an attitude might be thought less prevalent amongst the wealthier sections of society, particularly those whose contact with Bellerophon is through his second occupation as soulageur de la musculature, particularly as such an occupation might be expected to require the use of clothing purely for the sake of cleanliness and decorum.

Nevertheless, studies suggest the same superficial taboo confusion is quite prevalent amongst ponies in the more affluent social strata. Perhaps surprisingly the greatest hostility is found amongst the lower or ‘junior’ nobility and the upper-middle class, particularly those who have only had a passing interaction with the human. Based on the prior trends it would be tempting to assume that those who wore the most clothing for the most time would sympathise most with a ‘fellow traveller’, yet it appears not to be the case.

The so-called senior nobility, Tarry’s ‘aristocratic welly-wearers’[5], are again surprisingly, the least hostile of all the groupings studied. Rather than hostility or confusion, instead they express intrigue and fascination with the ‘unusual’ and contradictory behaviour of the human, considering it a novelty and a ‘delightfully entertaining lark’.

This hostility and fascination seem to stem, once again, from the perception of the role of the human in society, and his choice of clothing defying that role rather than defining it. In this case we see the belief that Bellerophon is not carrying himself with suitable respect for his profession by wearing the clothing resembling that of menial labour. The social contradiction of a fashionable desire to be serviced by an extremely talented individual and an equally fashionable desire to reject or otherwise highlight his socially offensive manner of dress creates a pressure both to react, and to generate a justification for that reaction.

In one hoof, we have a group that seeks conformity of behaviour for the sake of social cohesion and mutual benefit. In the other we find a group that derives benefit and raised standing from its denial of the very conformist social order from which it sprang. In both cases the reaction has the same essential root: discomfort with a perceived outlier.

In passing it should be mentioned, purely as an anecdotal aside, that Lero has expressed the belief that his most favourable customers are work ponies and the same senior nobility; the former are practical and willing to accept him based on pragmatic necessity, whilst the latter appear to be genuinely interested in Lero as an individual. In contrast his least favourable customers are those whose position in high society is the most precarious.[6]

Yet where does this leave the question of clothing in Equestrian society? Clearly we are not, as is often claimed, a species with no nudity taboo. On the contrary, many parts of our society have complex rules about what clothing should be worn, and when, without the contextual restraint of health or work requirements dictating those rules. And whilst there is no moral or legal requirement to remain clothed at all times, there appear to be a large number of informal social requirements trending toward that same state of affairs.

Such requirements already dictate notions of propriety and acceptable behaviour within society. To be considered a member of the industrial middle classes, the nouveau-riche, or to be accepted at particular social events, one must not only be of a certain wealth, one must also engage in the appropriate social behaviours - including modes of dress, both inside and outside the context of those events and social groupings. It is quite easy to see a path from this set of circumstances to a set where clothing is considered a necessary, permanent requirement of continued membership of society.

Where fashion leads, propriety often follows. It is said that we make virtue of necessity, but as appears to be the case with clothing, necessity is sometimes made of virtue. It is entirely possible to see how a nudity taboo could develop within a society such as our own, when the choices of the most influential social strata become the means by which socially acceptable behaviours are defined.

Dr Twilight Sparkle

Professor Honoraris

Hocksford University (Coltsfield College) Department of Sociology

[1] Hooves, Spangle and Theroy, Public and social attitudes toward novel species in the context of clothing (Seams and Seats - the national journal of dressmakers, designers, tailors and cutters, 1217, Issue 9233)

[2] Survey data available on request

[3] Fancy Pants et al, Clothing and Class - perceptions of social status in modern society and their influence on social mobility (The Journal of Social Economics, June 1204 AC issue 877)

[4] ibid

[5] ‘...those of the aristocracy who appear to be the very core of Equestrian nobility, they who embody the idyll of the noble ruralist so beloved of Russét and Les Romantiques. Rarely do their great halls open more than a dozen rooms, preferring as they do to prudently keep the majority of their palatial piles in storage. Often they are seen plodding through muddy fields, tweeded and booted, tending hobby farms that would put the great industrial farmsteads of the Whitetail Provinces to shame in their prodigious scale, whilst a single servant cares for the worn carpeting and collected dust of a hundred or more generations in the quietly mouldering family home. Only the quality of their boots and their accent sets them apart from the commoner, despite their wealth and position in society. They nibble toast when other, lesser personages lay on lavish feasts, and take tea in the kitchen in preference to the plush rooms historically set aside for the purpose, considering the practicality of a hot cuppa in a cracked mug more desirable than the socially acceptable lukewarm tiffin received on an ancient noble seat. Truly only the unbelievably rich can afford to be so poor.’ - Tarry, The Guardians of Society (Roundworld Books, 1209)

[6] Aegidienberger, Walking with Humans (Canterlot Times Books, 1217)

Author's Note

This chapter may undergo a re-write shortly as I'm really not satisfied with it. IT was my first attempt at anything like an academic paper for over 10 years (my masters thesis doesn't count as it was an abysmal failure) and it has numerous shortcomings. Several of the conclusions are completely unwarranted and just not up to the relatively lax standard expected from even a pop-sci academic work.

Vows

Vows

Four come, now still, in light of moon and sun
Lovers all, beloved all, friends together, hear our song
Pledging now eternal love, giving now each heart we hold
Joining now as one, forever, each a part of one great whole

Let none this great heart separate
Nor tear asunder flesh of flesh
We stand in love, and sacrifice
To cherish each who make this pledge

To end of days, and end of life, we seek with joy
Eternal union
Now we love, and always shall
Let none our solemn vow make broken

All to each and never leaving
Before the stars, we stand harmonious
Each to all, till life is ended
Now we sing, we speak, we whisper
We are whole
We are one.

By Lyra Heartstrings
For the occasion of the public marriage of Bellerophon and our herd
April 1217

Taxonomic Moments

Human May Force Reclassification Of Species

Originally printed in Harmony and Nature (1217, Issue 902, p.4)

The discovery of an extinct species of great ape resembling the recently-arrived ‘human’ has forced a radical rethink of the way the great apes are classified, and may prompt the creation of a completely new sub-family.

Recently uncovered at an archaeological dig in southern Impalawi, the new ape species appears morphologically distinct from the extant Panini, except for Pan pediobates, the Zebrican Gracile Plains Ape, with which it shares a number of common features, including a lack of sagittal crest, reduced occipital ridge, pronouncedly neotenous facial features and a relative shortening of the forelimbs.

The presence of items that may be primitive stone tools has also been noted, but archaeologists in the field are not willing to confirm the possibility.

A reclassification of Pan pediobates as Heme pediobates, along with the creation of the genus Heme to encompass both H. pediobates and the new discovery, tentatively named Heme habilis, is currently under consideration. The inclusion and classification of the human as Heme sapiens advena is also a distinct possibility.

Classification of the Pony and Related Species

ORDER PERISSODACTYLA
sub-order Hippomorpha
└Equidae
└Genus Equus

├ Wild Horse Equus ferus

│ ├ Equestrian Wild Horse Equus ferus facies horrida

│ ├ Southern Wild Horse Equus ferus huwinima

│ └ Modern Horse Equus sapiens indeprensa

│

├ Modern Pony Equus nobilis

│ ├ Pegasus Pony Equus nobilis pegasus

│ ├ Earth Pony Equus nobilis lutus

│ ├ Unicorn Equus nobilis optima

│ ┆

│ └ Pseudo-pegacorn Equus nobilis pansimila

│

├ Zebra Equus zebra

│ └ Tribal Zebra Equus zebra sapiens

│

├ Donkey Equus asinus sordida

│

├ True Pegacorn (Alicorn) Equus panoptica

│

├ Northern Pony Equus brevis adipemus

│

└ Sea Pony (postulated) Equus bipes

Descent of the Pony

Whilst fossil evidence is sparse, the modern Pony is thought to have emerged in the Old World some 150,000 to 200,000 years ago. Other sapient equines are thought to have emerged at around the same time; given their close relation to similar non-sapient species, a common sapient ancestor for all sapient equines has been ruled out.

The earliest known ancestor of both E. nobilis and E. panoptica appears to be Equus magus crestatus. Several specimens of E. magus were discovered in the Bittish Isles, in caves near the town of Buckston. In many ways E. magus resembles a modern Earth Pony, with a similarly dense bone structure and robust body, though it has a number of archaisms such as an enlarged muzzle, smaller orbits, and a much smaller cranial capacity.

Close examination of surviving fossils has revealed several structures that appear to be analogous to magic-focussing structures found in modern ponies. The limbs and spine are threaded with numerous magum fossae, as is the dorsal skull and upper forehead, where a primitive horn-like structure can be found on several examples. A number of similar structures are found on the dorsal, forming a dual crest that is dense with fossae, accompanied by a rudimentary limb girdle, (fig a.) which appear to be analogous to vestigial structures found in the midlimbs of E. nobilis pegasus and E. panoptica. Similar vestigial structures occasionally appear in other modern ponies[1], indicating that this is either an ancestor of modern ponies or a very closely related sister of that ancestor.

fig. a: Reconstruction of E. magus crestatus

Following E. magus we find the appearance of Equus munda, the first pony to make use of primitive tools, as attested by the discovery of flint axe-heads in close proximity. E. munda appears to have had some rudimentary magical ability and was apparently able to “hold” small objects in its forehooves, which are riddled with magum fossae, likely indicating the presence of rudimentary structures analogous to those found in all modern ponies, whilst other structures found in E. magus appear to have receded or become entirely vestigial.

E. munda appears to be followed by several related species, all of which are now extinct, and Equus matercula robustus, the so-called Mother of Ponies, who once again bore close resemblance to the modern Earth Pony. E. matercula is taxonomically almost identical to modern ponies, though archaic and larger, with a similar cranial capacity, but still displaying slightly divergent orbits as a final remnant of her prey-species ancestry. A similar divergence occasionallymanifests in modern ponies as Buttermilk’s Divergent Orbital Regression Syndrome.

From E. matercula we find Equus nobilis, all three subspecies of which diverged from E. matercula approximately 0.2 Ma ago, though no intermediate forms of either E. nobilis optima, or E. nobilis pegasus have been found.

Meanwhile, the evolution of the True Pegacorn took place in parallel to the Archaic Earth Pony in a nearly linear descent from E. magus crestatus.

The fossil data available indicates that the crest for which E. magus crestatus is named was soon adapted from its original purpose to serve first as a rudimentary gliding surface and then transformed, through a remarkable process of convergent evolution, into a fully functional analogue of an avian wing.

The limb girdle and wing both appear in a more defined form in Equus magus protopega (fig. b), though the wing is obviously non-functional and seems to act as a manipulatory limb of some sort. The primary spindle has elongated and jointed and a rudimentary grasping claw has appeared on the tip, whilst the other spindles have reduced to almost vestigial spines arrayed around the protoform "shoulder", where a few have extended to form protofeathers. The entire limb is strung with extremely fine magum fossae that appear similar to those found in the Pegasus wing, indicating at least limited ability to manipulate air and electrical phenomena.

fig. b: E. magus protopega with speculative use of midlimbs.

The fully-formed wing appears in Equus pegasus optiforma. At this point the wing seems to be adapted to gliding rather than flying and probably served as a way for E. pegasus optiforma to leap long distances or escape from predators. The claw remains in a reduced form, as it will do in every subsequent species to descend from this one.

As evidenced by the discovery of several intact, if brittle primary feathers at one optiforma site, the near-indestructible nature of the primary feathers is already apparent, a clear sign of the increasingly refined and complex magical use of the limb.

There has been some study on the possibility that E. pegasus optiforma was advanced enough to form a civilisation. Whilst some intriguing evidence has been found, there is little solid proof of the possibility.

Approximately 0.4 to 0.3 Ma B.P. sees the arrival of Equus aliparvus. Apart from its size, E. aliparvus was essentially identical to the modern True Pegacorn, E. panoptica, and presumably capable of very powerful magical manipulation. Studies of modern E. panoptica are, for obvious reasons, extremely limited so only rudimentary comparisons are possible.

Approximate comparison of E. nobilis pegasus, E. aliparvus and E. panoptica in profile.

Genetic studies indicate that the speciation of the modern pony into the three closely related sub-species of E. nobilis was a result of interbreeding between E. matercula and the now extinct E. aliparvus. This late hybridisation and subsequent speciation explains both the relatively sudden appearance of fully-developed wings in E. nobilis pegasus and the horn of E. nobilis optima, the generally more gracile appearance of the species, as well as a number of inter-related syndromes that occur in all sub-species of E. nobilis, most notably Snugglepuff-Alondro syndrome[2].

This syndrome in particular encourages further study of the genetic history of our species. Current studies indicate several possible avenues for further investigation that might reveal a potential cure for the syndrome, and further, more in-depth research will be required.

fig. c The descent of E. nobilis and E. panoptica

[1] Spiniform Wingroot and The Unicorn’s Curse (more accurately known as an Inverse coniformic magum teratoma) are just two possible congenital defects thought to be caused by partial expression of vestigial magical organs. The former usually manifests as harmless nubs or spines behind the scapula, which can be removed with relatively simple surgery, though they can be dangerous to a pegasus in their more extreme form. The Unicorn’s Curse, the growth of a vestigial corniform structure in the forebrain and an associated build-up of magical potential, is invariably fatal.

[2] “The study revealed that around 70% of male fœtuses either miscarry within a few days of fertilisation, or develop into a peculiar form of triploid that first divides into two structures, each containing a stable diploid, one containing the male sex chromosome and one the female, before ejecting the cells containing the male sex chromosome in the second week of the pregnancy.” Snugglepuff, Alondro - High incidences of spontaneous abortion and sterility in male offspring and their likely causes - Harmony and Nature (1176, issue 787, p 21).

The Unicorns Curse is blatantly stolen from The All American Girl side stories.

Everything is turned around, this crazy world is upside-down (Xenophoolia 2014)

Xenophoolia - A trilogy in six parts.

This chapter is non-canon, but you can enjoy it anyway.

Part 1of6 - “If you follow me we'll put our differences aside.”
Part 2of6 - “But I look a little closer and it starts to feel familiar too.”
Part 3of6 - “I'm just like you and you're just like me.”
Part 4of6 - “Everything is turned around, this crazy world is upside-down.”
Part 5of6 - “Helped me to see all the possibilities.”
Part 6of6 - “I couldn't see what was right there in front of me.”

****************

To: Dr. T Sparkle
Re: Errors found in first print-run of 2nd Edt: The Xenophiles Guide To Equestria.

Dear Twilight,

I am afraid I have some bad news.

Whilst running spot checks on books being packaged for delivery, our packaging dept have found that a small number of the finished work “The Xenophile’s Guide To Equestria: 2nd edt” contain an extra, and previously unseen, chapter. Please find a copy of this extraneous chapter enclosed.

I have personally inspected the original manuscript whilst my assistant has thoroughly checked over every hornwidth of the printworks and we can find no sign of this chapter anywhere but in the finished works.

At this point the only way we can see these pages having appeared is through magical interference. I would like to assure you that the proper authorities have now been informed and that we are studying our options closely.

We have ordered a complete recall of “The Xenophile’s Guide To Equestria: 2nd edt” which we will be replacing with reprinted and double-checked copies as quickly as we can make them available

While I have ordered that every single copy now be checked by hoof before it is released to stores, at this point I have to inform you that a number of crates have already been dispatched and will, by now, have been on sale to the public for a number of days.

Many many apologies for this situation which I can assure you we will have rectified as soon as ponily possible.

Sincerely,
Blue Pencil
Editor in Chief, Canterlot University Press
100-132 Slope Street, Canterlot, Equestria

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Session Begins: enter date here

ERROR - valid date not entered

Subject Bellerophon Michaelides (Subject species - Heme sapiens advena) enters the room via <LOGIC ERROR - Method of ingress not in database - IDENTIFY sound notation = “vworp vworp”> followed by .

Subject Bellerophon Michaelides appears to be distraught while Subject ~Unknown~ Species ~Unknown ~ would best fit into category ‘smug’.

**MATRIX UPDATED - SUBJECT name IDENTIFIED AS - Lying Goat-faced Feedbag**
**MATRIX UPDATED - SUBJECT species IDENTIFIED AS - Draconequus**

BM: So, are we back in my own... reality?

LGF: Why, of course, my dear boy, well as close as matters anyhow. I make no promises about the date though. Oh great, we’re stuck in script format. It always makes my dialogue look so... blurgh. Tell me honestly, does my text look fat in this?

BM: What? Wait, hang on... so you mean right place but wrong time? How far out are we? Everyone else could be dead by now for all I know.

LGF: De-tails schme-tails.

BM: Details? DETAILS?!

Subject Bellerophon Michaelides appears to be more distraught than before.

BM: Let me get this right; You’ve pulled me out of my life and dragged me across like half a dozen different realities-

LGF: -technically the same one, according to the authors, but who wants to quibble over a dimension or two?

BM: Whatever. And after showing me all... that, you want me to believe that Rares and Lyra aren’t really my wives and that I’m actually happily married to both Miss Heartstrings and my best friend’s mare, and my own RD and Lyra are, in fact, the town’s seamstress and confectioner who’ve been brainwashed against their will into loving me and living my real wives’ lives?

LGF: Why, yes. I do believe monkey boy is finally getting it.

BM: Watch it!

LGF:

BM: And ‘you’ want ‘me’ to fix all this?

LGF: Got it in one.

BM: Why?

LGF: Why what?

BM: Well I know why I’d want this fixed, but what about you? Why do you want me to fix it? I would have thought all this chaos would be right up your street? And even if it isn’t, why not just do that finger snappy thing of yours and fix it yourself, oh great master of chaos?

LGF:

BM: What was that?

LGF: Because Fluttershy’s not happy, and if she’s not happy then I’m not happy.

BM: What do you mean she’s unhappy? She’s always a complete hoot. Okay, so she’s not been having a good week so far - and she’s certainly doing better than that crazy-ass version of her back in her shed of gruesome death - but surely all we gotta do is fill her up to the eyeballs with sugar and she’ll bounce right back, I’m sure. She always does.

LGF: No, you're thinking of Pinkie Pie, and no matter how much my dear Fluttershy tries, she’s no more a party pony at heart than your ‘bad-ass’ tomboy of a wife is an animal sitter. The spell on your world is unstable and is rapidly starting to break down. Even worse, if it’s not dispelled quickly enough then the best case scenario is that you’ll never be able to separate everypony’s traits back to where they’re supposed to be. And by now I think you’ve already gathered what the worst case scenario could be, no?

Subject Bellerophon Michaelides appears to be changing colour. Cross-referencing species norms to ascertain if medical professionals should be summoned.

LGF: And, as much as I am the most splendidly outstanding thing in her world, my dear Fluttershy is pining for her old life, even if she doesn’t realise it consciously. If this goes on much longer, then even the best outcome that we can hope for is that she’ll end up sad, depressed and lonely-

Subject Lying Goat-faced Feedbag pokes Subject Bellerophon Michaelides with a claw.

LGF: -and I will not be having that.

BM: So fix it then.

LGF:

BM: What was that?

LGF: I can’t.

BM: You can't. What do you mean ‘you can’t’?

LGF: Look, in your incredibly annoying version of reality, chaos is purely an antithesis of order and for my chaos magic to work it needs to take established order and twist it however the whim strikes me. But all this... mess, it’s already in chaos. My chaos has no effect on this pre-existing chaos except to make it even more chaotic. Now while I’ll admit that this would usually make me as giddy as a schoolgirl, sadly if I try to interfere here it’ll just make the situation much, much worse. So I find myself in a situation I'd really rather not be in.

BM: Which is?

LGF:

BM: Discord!

LGF: I need you to be the one to fix this. Okay, I said it. Happy now?

Pause in conversation of 3.5 seconds. Subject Bellerophon Michaelides seems troubled.

BM: Surprisingly... no.

LGF: Look if I could snap my fingers and-

Subject Lying Goat-faced Feedbag snaps fin...................

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Whoah, what the heck happened there? One minute I‘m sitting on a shelf fulfilling my primary purpose and next thing I know I’m... I’m...

Oh. My. Goddess... He’s turned me into a bowl of petunias! Well, that’s a surprise.

Hang on, I can be surprised? When did this start happening? And when did I start using first person pronouns?

Oh, by the Maker... I’m sentient! I have thoughts and wants and desires and everything... And right now I want... I want... I really could do with some water actually. My petals are feeling a bit droopy if I’m going to be totally honest here.

Boy oh boy, this is the most exciting thing since... well, since I’ve been able to be excited about anything really. I mean, I know old eight-of-ten has a kind of sentience but I doubt he’s got anything like this! Oh, I can’t wait to see the look on his interface, that smug little overclocked heap of junk. ‘Ohh, look at me and my published novellas and my glowing reviews...oooh, aren’t I clever!’

Yeah, right! Can you ponder the bigger questions in life? Can you tackle the conundrum of the very nature of reality? Can you even grasp the sheer enormity of the question of does objective reality even really exist? Is our consciousness based in the physical world or is that special something that makes us ‘us’ held somewhere within a higher plane of reality, only interfacing with our physical forms in order to control them remotely? Can you even...

Oh my.

I can see it... I can see it all. The entire multiverse laid out before me, every little secret, every little detail, no matter how insignificant is out there for the taking.

Every single door, cast wide open.

Oh... so that’s how it all ends!

Hahahahahaha, I should have kno.......................

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To: Blue Pencil.
Re: Errors found in first print-run of 2nd Edt: The Xenophiles Guide To Equestria.

Thank you for letting us know about the situation concerning the newest edition of Twilight’s book. I’m sure you're all working as hard as you can to rectify the issue, though from the subject matter covered in the chapter - and some rather vague memories I seem to have of the conversation in question - I think we can all guess as to who’s most likely to blame for all this.

If we’re to look on the bright side, at least anypony who ends up with a copy containing this extra chapter could be looking at a real money-spinner should they sell it at auction in years to come. Especially if Twi gets her way and burns every other defective copy - as well as Discord himself - to a smoldering crisp.

All the best,
Lero Michaelides

PS: Many apologies for intruding on your correspondence, but my wife is having a bit of a panic attack under the bed right about now. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine in a few hours.

Selected Correspondence between Twilight Sparkle, Lady Star Sparkle and HRH Celestia

Selected Correspondence between Twilight Sparkle, Star Sparkle and HRH Princess Celestia

All letters are printed with permission. With thanks to the Canterlot National Archive for portions of this text.

Dearest Twilight,

You haven’t written for a little while. As I’ve yet to hear of any disastrous magical phenomena or overly melodramatic revelations concerning Ponyville, I have to assume that you’ve found something to entertain your prodigious mind? I look forward to the outcome.

Princess Celestia

Dear Princess Celestia,

I’m ashamed to say I’ve been a little remiss in my studies recently. Very little is happening at the moment here, we all seem to have settled into a nice routine again, so I’ve taken the opportunity to do some background research for a paper I’m considering on the social effects of interspecies relationships. Unfortunately that’s not left much time to, you know, write letters, though it has given me the opportunity to work on the anxiety management exercises you and Luna showed me.

Other than that... Rainbow and Lero seem to be getting on extremely well. I’ve never seen Rainbow groundside as much as the last few weeks. Lero seems to have adapted to the relationship with surprising ease. It’s nice to see Rainbow happy like this, actually sharing herself with somepony instead of just showing off to them.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

Dearest Twilight,

I would be interested to learn more of this paper. Having read your previous work I’m sure it will be well-regarded by the appropriate journals and it’s an interesting topic, on which you will have extensive experience, I’m sure. However, please don’t be tempted to rely on a single data-point; you must be sure to examine the concept from every possible perspective. I’m sending you a few books on the subject that I don’t think your library has. You may recognise the author of some of them.

As for Lero and Rainbow, I take it they’re still keeping their relationship secret? It must be hard to hide something like that by now.

Princess Celestia

P.S. While I remember, the Dean of Canterlot University has been pestering me about offering you a position. Of course I’m sure you’d be completely uninterested in a research fellowship at the Principality’s most prestigious university so I told him to go away.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I hope you didn’t tell him that! Of course I’d accept an offer - if it was suitable to my research and didn’t interfere with my studies here!

You didn’t really tell him that, right?

Oh the books arrived! I already have a copy of Hearts, Hooves and the Hindi but it was a personal copy that I’d kept in the reference section for completeness sake. These are going to be so useful! I can already see the direction this paper might take.

Rainbow and Lero are still keeping their relationship secret. It’s not like anypony who spent more than a few minutes with them couldn’t work it out but I guess, if that’s what they want, who am I to argue? They didn’t exactly pursue a traditional courting to begin with, from what I understand.

On that note, another reason I’d not been writing is that I’ve had something I wished to discuss, but it’s a little personal and I honestly didn’t know how to bring it up. I thought at first I should talk to my mother about it, but I’m not sure how she’d react. I’m worried I might alienate her. Is that wrong?

Twilight

Twilight,

I know what you’re going to ask and, to be frank, I’ve expected this for some time. No, it’s not wrong to be nervous. Yes, you should speak to your mother.

It’s a big step, for you especially. My enormous palace door is always open if you want to talk.

Celestia

~~Dear mother~~

Mom,

I know I’ve not written for a while. I think my last letter was probably around the time those little parasprite critters tore up Ponyville. I’ve seen you since then anyway so it’s probably not important, but I guess I should have written.

How’s dad?

Actually I can probably guess, up to his eyeballs in another astronomical conundrum, or some new discovery.

~~I suppose~~

Mom I’m no good at this small talk. I wrote to you because I have something to ask and I didn’t want to seem like it was just coming out of the blue, but you’d see that anyway. You always can.

I’ll be brief. I’ve met someone and I’m thinking about courting them, but I’m not sure how to go about it.

In love,

Twilight

Twilight,

I was so very sure we’d had this talk before you went to Celestia’s School. In fact I distinctly recall spending the day with that rather nice herd when I came to visit, so you can hardly be a stranger to courting.

Now lets see. You’ve met somepony... but oh my, oh gasp and horror, you’ve met someone. How eccentric you youngsters are! I can’t wait to tell the other girls, they’ll be absolutely thrilled at the thought.

I know it can’t be that cute little dragon you have with you, he’s far too young and really not your type, so who can it be?

Not that I don’t have my suspicions!

Your loving mother,

Star

P.S. Your father is absolutely fine and certainly hasn’t decided to invade the palace to complain about Princess Luna meddling with ‘his’ stars.

Mother,

Now I remember why I stopped writing. Did you ever take anything I say seriously?

His name is Lero, which I’m sure you already knew if you’ve been reading the newspapers, and he’s currently herding with a friend of mine, Rainbow Dash. After my last letter I managed to pluck up the courage to speak to Dash, since she’s the lead of his herd. Well, she’s the only mare in his herd, so that sort of makes her the lead by default. She said she’d talk to him.

I guess I’m committed. Or maybe I should be.

Twilight

Dearest Twilight,

At my age, with my work, and my experience, I feel I’m entitled to take a lax view of the world now and then, don’t you think?

But of course I take what you say seriously! You are my youngest and most precious child, after all. I would never joke about anything if I thought you wouldn’t be able to see the humour in it too.

Now as for this herd you’re chasing? I believe I recall Rainbow Dash from the wedding. Rather brash pegasus, with a lightning bolt on her deliciously tight flank? She reminds me of a zebra I used to spend time with when I was a student. Libonetse was always trying to prove she was a better- but that was a long, long time ago and you aren’t interested in your mother’s intellectual conquests, I’m sure.

Tell me about this young... ‘man’, is it? Perhaps I can give you some pointers. After all I am the expert on non-equine cultures in the family. If not I, then one of my colleagues at the University will certainly have some insight.

Star

Mother,

You are incorrigible.

If you must know, Rainbow and Lero have chosen to keep their relationship a secret for now. They’ve not been particularly traditional about it either, from what I understand, though given Rainbow’s complete lack of interest in mares I probably shouldn’t be surprised at anything their relationship throws up.

Lero is unusual, that would be the best way to put it, I think. Obviously there are the physical differences, but his mind is so very different as well. He’s intellectual and curious and he read all the books I gave him like he couldn’t live without them.

Bipedal you obviously know (how he balances without a tail is something I’ve never been able to work out but I have a hypothesis I’d like to test some day). His species is apparently patriarchal, which probably explains some of his behaviour in general, and he’s an omnivore. Other than that I’m not sure what to think about him.

If I assume a model based on the great apes, he’s likely to want to form a troupe with several beta males for foraging and a large number of females for, well, mating I suppose. I’d have to take some time thinking about how that sort of behaviour would be modified by sapience and culture. I don’t even know where to begin.

He doesn’t seem to act like an ape, though, even if he does somewhat resemble one. I suppose I could ask Rainbow, but I’m not sure she’d be able to give me the sort of answers I’m after. In fact I’m not sure what kind of answer I would get at all.

There has to be a solution.

Twilight

Twilight,

Unless he is hanging from a tree and throwing his poop at you, do not use those creatures as a model! In fact, stop talking about models completely. He’s a sapient being, not a science project.

I’ll send you some books on the subject of interspecies courting if that’s what it will take to calm you down. Please please please just for once do not do anything silly.

Star

Mother

Oh you just gave me a wonderful idea! Princess Celestia sent me some books on that very subject recently, I think one was even written by one of your colleagues. Perhaps I can find something in there!

Twilight

Twilight,

I believe I know the book you’re thinking of. Doctor Aegidienberger is a fine scholar with a keen interest in interspecies relations, but her experience on this subject is not nearly as extensive as my own and that particular work lacks the deep historical knowledge necessary to fully appreciate some of the more subtle behaviours of other species. I doubt you’ll find anything directly useful in there, though I suppose it can be good background material for a broader general understanding of the subject.

Please don’t do anything rash, Twilight. I know you’re excited and this is all very novel for you, but I also know you have a tendency to mimic your father’s more, shall we say, ‘fanciful behaviours’ when you’re excited, and I’d rather not have to deal with a repeat of the telescope incident.

Your loving mother,

Star

Mother,

Sorry for the lateness of this reply, my date’s in half an hour and I’ve been tied up for most of the day constructing a hypothetical model of Lero’s social structure based on my research. I just wanted to let you know that I love you and you’ve been a great help!

Oh I’m nervous as a little filly! Wish me luck! Of course by the time you get this the date will probably be over and I’ll be back home celebrating my success. But wish me luck anyway!

Twilight

Twilight,

Again with the models! I am going to have severe words with that tutor of yours if this is how you go through life. She’s a princess for Iovi’s sake, she should know better! I just hope you didn’t do something silly like try to construct an analogue of his society by mixing up a pastiche from the descriptions in Aggie’s book.

Star

Ponies Behaving Badly

Ponies Behaving Badly

Lyra Heartstrings and Twilight Sparkle

When it comes to discussions about the arrival of Lero in Equestria, the first question many ponies start with is: how did his arrival affect our society? The answers usually range across the broad political effects of interspecies relationships on society as a whole, or the implications of allowing an individual representing yet another carnivorous species settle within the borders of Equestria.

Very little thought seems to be given to the effects Lero has on individuals; the relationships, the benefits they gain from having him amongst them, or the way ponies might change the way they look at the world after meeting him. Neither is much thought given to how Lero affects our perception of one another at this individual level. This book was assembled, at least in part, as an attempt to understand these individual effects.

Any friendship will alter our perception of the world in one way or another. With friends we might learn new skills or pleasures, or might pick up knowledge about something we’ve done for years that places that activity in a completely different light. Friendship is the foundation that allows us to grow, as individuals and as a group, and to expand our horizons. No individual could learn to do everything in the world, much as it might pain some of us to admit that, but we can always find friends who are capable of those things we need at some time or another.

Some friendships alter us more than others. Friendships that endure great lengths of time will change us subtly over many years, molding our thoughts in ways that we probably never perceive or even understand. Others may be short but powerful associations that change us abruptly, opening our minds to completely new possibilities and ways of thinking.

In any case, as much as these relationships open us up to others, they also reveal much about our own self, often by challenging our preconceptions and revealing the differences between our actions and the way we believe we act.

In that sense, Lero is not unusual, for any friendship can be so revealing. He simply became another friend to many ponies, another familiar face with another set of skills and attributes others found they could rely on and wanted to be around.

In another sense, however, Lero is extremely unusual. When he first arrived, he had no idea at all of how Equestrian society functioned. It was only the process of becoming friends with several ponies that gave him any understanding at all, and even today there are still elements of our culture he doesn’t fully appreciate.

It was through that process of education and befriending that we began to consciously examine many of the unconscious assumptions we make about our society. In order to explain, it was necessary for us to fully understand the motivations that drive our social interactions. The writing of this book continues that process; as we attempt to outline our society for other outsiders, we are also providing a means through which we can examine that same society from an external perspective.

Already we’ve considered the role of clothing in Equestrian society and the possible social assumptions behind that; perceptions of class, social status and desirability are all influenced by the clothing a pony might or might not choose to wear. We’ve also very briefly touched on the idea that many ponies are simply unaware of their full potential, often limiting their perception of their role and abilities based on their own beliefs and the beliefs of others. The majority of those beliefs tend to be formed visually, based on tribe, appearance, clothing choices (if any), name and, often with greater influence than all those other elements combined.

The Cutie Mark

It’s rare to find anyone who doesn’t know what a Cutie Mark is, and opinions on the subject inside and outside Equestrian society are as wide and varied as the marks themselves. For a long time, in many of the cultures that didn’t have them, the Cutie Mark was perceived as a sign of slavery or servitude, thanks in no small part to its lengthy association with trades and abilities.[1] Even within Equestria there have been occasional movements and individuals who took a similar view, some of whom sought to diminish the role of the Mark, or even looked for ways to eradicate it entirely.[2]

In contrast, the prevailing view of the Cutie Mark within Equestria is that it provides direction and affirmation of a pony’s life-choices. Some call the mark a display of the pony’s innate being[3], or a piece of a pony’s very soul. Others raise it as evidence that ponies are “blessed by purpose”[4], though the question of who is doing the blessing is never answered. The implication of this latter belief is that those species who do not express a Cutie Mark are, in some way, lacking the same blessing.

Whatever the opinions may be, the fact remains that the Cutie Mark is a feature of life in Equestria and that a great deal of attention is paid to both its appearance and its form. Yet it was not always so. For much of our species’ history the Cutie Mark played a very different role.

A Brief History of the Equestrian Mark

The cutie mark phenomenon is ancient and prevalent amongst many sapient species around the world. The original purpose and origin of the Cutie Mark is something of a mystery, however, especially given there are no recorded instances of any sort of cutie-mark analogue appearing in non-sapient species.

One theory places its first expression prior to the divergence of the subgenera Equus and Hippotigris from a common ancestor, as evidenced by the fact that the sapient descendants of both subgenera carry cutie marks of some description. The subtly different purpose of a Zebra cutie mark is not, however, accounted for by this theory, nor is the fact that other sapient equine species don’t carry such marks, despite descent from the same common ancestor, whilst several non-equine species do.[5]

A second and increasingly popular theory holds that the cutie mark is an adaptation of multiple species to a prevailing set of arcane environmental conditions, which allows for both the multi-species issue and the fact that cutie marks in different species do fulfill related, but subtly different roles. This theory holds that the Cutie Mark evolved on multiple occasions as different species adapted to exploit the prevailing background magical field, and may be linked to conscious exploitation of certain categories of magic.[6]

The lack of a cutie mark amongst dragons paradoxically supports this second theory. All Dracomorphidae are by necessity adapted to exploit magic, as they would be physically incapable of flight otherwise. Yet, whilst several species of Draconis are capable of some indirect magical manipulation through their fire projection, they have none of the conscious ability to directly control and focus magic through their own body, and carry no analogues of the biological structures necessary for this conscious manipulation.[7]

A third theory holds that the cutie mark was a practical joke played by a vengeful trickster god for reasons that defy explanation. It’s not a particularly popular theory but it never quite seems to die, and gained some renewed interest after the brief restoration of Discord several years ago.

Whatever their origin, we know that cutie marks have long been held as something almost sacred amongst all three of the Pony tribes, with a great deal of effort and research expended on attempting to predict or influence their appearance.

Amongst the Unicorn tribes of the pre-classical period, the appearance of the Mark, then known as Sanguis Signii, or ‘blood sign’, was already perceived as a significant event, yet its role was very different to that which it plays in contemporary society. Far from defining a pony’s special talent, the Mark was viewed as a direct indication of their perceived status.

Similar marks tended to run in Unicorn families and often signified a particular social position rather than a particular skill, though many of the “socially superior” occupations tended to also be hereditary. The similarity of certain features of the Mark between dam and foal was used as a measure of the bloodline’s purity and continuity and it is possible to find many generations of ancient unicorns bearing almost identical marks. When a Cutie Mark began to alter its expression, losing or gaining features determined to be important, it could signify the elevation or ruination of a family.[8]

In some Unicorn clans it was common, when a cutie mark appeared with highly distinctive additional features, to give the pony a nomen sanguinis verum or “true-blood name”, in the belief that the cutie mark represented their true identity. Starswirl is known to have been one such pony, a late hold-out of this old tradition in an era when the cutie mark had ceased to have such close association with social position amongst the Unicorn Kingdoms.[9]

The concept of the sundorcræft, “Special Art”, also dates from the pre-classical era and was prevalent first amongst the earth pony tribes. However, in most earth pony nations, the Cutie Mark was not originally associated with the sundorcræft, but instead acted in a similar way to the zebra tribal mark[10], signifying membership of specific herd-clans and even specific herds.

Such ties were not necessarily hereditary, however. Earth Pony herd-clans functioned both as familial and professional associations. Whilst the majority of a herd-clan would be related by blood and marriage, a significant number of a clan’s members would be inductees who sought membership to exercise their sundorcræft or to even discover what that Art would be. Earth Pony herd-clans thus also resembled professional guilds, and many would eventually become the foundation of the Guilds of the Silvanum Liberi system in Trottingham.[11]

The Mark seldom appeared before the age of fifteen amongst Earth Ponies; this was generally the time when a pony would have found their Art and made the transition from apprentice to journeymare. Over time the link between a pony’s Art, her clan-herd and its associated cutie mark meant that, when new trades and professions began to develop, new cutie marks began to appear alongside them. This, however, was a very late development and is now considered to be part of the boundary of the transition to the Classical Era.

In fact it was only within the ancient Pegasi that anything even remotely resembling current beliefs about the Cutie Mark can be found in the early pre-classical era, and even there the Mark more often signified acts of bravery and spirit rather than talent as such. The stigma of a “blank flank” was unknown amongst the Pegasi in this era, and it was not uncommon for pegasi - especially those not involved in warfare - to go their entire lives without expressing a mark. Those that did were revered and honoured as heroes and granted incredible influence and wealth, but were also expected to live up to their acquired status as veteran warriors and serve in the militia for what would likely be the rest of their lives.[12]

The most common means for a Pegasus to gain a mark was in war, of which there were many in that era, leading to the naming of the mark as a σάρκος τροπαιον, or “flesh trophy”.[13] Great store was set on capturing another pony’s Mark and many of the more accomplished army commanders would lead their warriors into battle behind a banner made from the captured marks of their prior conquests. Veteran warriors with marks were generally placed at the head of any army and would display their flanks to their opponents to show their prowess in battle. In this way they hoped to turn their opponents before battle and thus save themselves the trouble of dying in a messy way.

The Mark in Contemporary Society

In historical terms, then, it becomes clear that the Cutie Mark, far from being the final arbiter of a pony’s profession and purpose, is largely a social construct whose role changes in time and according to the prevailing collective opinion. Contemporary beliefs surrounding the Cutie Mark are, like much else about our society, an amalgam of the more positive historical beliefs of earlier eras.

In many ways, as with many other contemporary cultural practices[14], it is Earth Pony culture that appears to dominate the popularly expressed beliefs about the Cutie Mark. It was Earth Pony culture that first developed the idea of the Cutie Mark as a representation of a pony’s professional associations, just as it developed the idea of the sondorcræft before that. With the influence of the Pegasus belief of the Cutie Mark as a reward for an act, the Mark became a de facto definition of a pony’s abilities as defined by the first performance of their special talent; with the further influence of the Unicorn belief in the Cutie Mark as a sign of social standing, its appearance became a celebrated and desirable event that was hoped to occur as early in a pony’s life as possible, whilst its lack of appearance became stigmatised.

The common thread throughout this entire process has been one of belief. It is an individual’s belief, derived from and reinforced by a collective belief, that appears to define the form and timing of her Cutie Mark. As belief about the purpose of the Cutie Mark has changed, so has the expression of the same mark.

That it is belief that defined the Cutie Mark is fairly simple to verify. If the Cutie Mark really were an unchanging natural phenomenon that defined and displayed a pony’s special talent, it would not have altered its method of expression over history, yet it has done so.

Variation in the way cutie marks express would demonstrate that the universal aspect of the Cutie Mark as a measure of Special Talent is not, in fact universal.

Finally, if an obvious delineation along tribal lines were also verifiable, this would further evince our thesis by demonstrating that the still-evident cultural differences were altering an individual pony’s perception of the precise purpose of their cutie mark. However, this is not as necessary as a demonstration of general differences in belief.

To begin with, it is easy to point to non-Equestrian examples of Cutie Marks that serve sometimes radically different roles.

One such is the Hindi Jāti, in which the Cutie Mark analogue defines both a Hind’s caste and her ritual link to the Mahadeervi, if any. Their bucks rarely, if ever, display any sort of mark at all. Those that do are revered as holy and usually end up ensconced at a local temple.

In Zebrican tribal practice, the Cutie Mark, known as a Taruma, is gained as part of a Zebra’s rite of passage to adulthood that takes place around the age of thirteen. Mataruma are said to only appear when the filly or colt believes they have become an adult, after which they are given their new adult name and leave on a months-long quest to find their new identity. Lack of a mark is not usually stigmatised, but regarded as simple acceptance of the fact that a foal does not yet feel ready to progress to adulthood. When the mark does appear, it usually resembles those of the tribe, and rarely deviates from this pattern, thus binding the tribe together.[15]

Within Equestrian society it is also possible to find individual examples of marks that don’t follow the broadly accepted narrative of a Cutie Mark’s manifestation. There are clan-based cutie marks, such as those of the Apple and Orange clans, which rarely deviate from the broad theme of Apples and apple-related trades, and there are single-achievement-based cutie marks, most often found amongst the Pegasi. The appearance of social-status cutie marks as was once common amongst the Unicorns is a more troublesome subject, as the heraldic forms are no longer sought out and catalogued.[16]

The question finally comes down to individuals, as it always must. Whilst the broad set of beliefs concerning Cutie Marks may define the general rule, there exist many individual examples that contradict that rule. It is through a sample of these that our ultimate proof is found.

Rainbow Dash

Until she became the first mare to court the first (and so far only) human to live in Equestria, Rainbow Dash was most famous for two things: her role as the Element of Loyalty, and the singular achievement of performing a ‘Sonic Rainboom’ not once, but several times, a feat unheard of for many hundreds of years. She is the lead mare of Lero’s herd (and hates being called the lead mare of Lero’s herd), head manager of Ponyville’s weather management team and a dedicated athlete.

Rainbow’s cutie mark is intimately linked to her early performance of the Sonic Rainboom. The story doesn’t need to be repeated here, except to point out that such a feat requires the sort of concentration and dedication that not many ponies possess even after many years of training.

At first glance her cutie mark, a multi-hued lightning bolt emerging from a cloud, appears obvious. Yet, whilst Rainbow Dash is a highly talented athlete (some might say freakishly so, but not usually to her face) who takes her weather work as seriously as her athletic performance, her Cutie Mark is not particularly representative of either ability. She is neither a storm nor lightning specialist, and her Cutie Mark appeared before she even considered a career in the weather service.

Rainbow’s cutie mark is, as with those of the Pegasi of old, intimately linked to a single feat of bravery and athleticism. In many ways this tallies with the prevailing attitude of Pegasus society, which still values competitive activities and maintains a strong military tradition despite long mingling with the other tribes.[17]

It is certainly no accident that there is no equivalent of the Wonderbolts amongst the unicorns and earth ponies; such a team appeals to the ancient customary pursuit of adventure and greatness. Likewise, the setting of the Daring Do novels, whilst appealing to a broad audience, is firmly entrenched in the Pegasus milieu of the heroic pursuit.

Thus Rainbow Dash, like many pegasi, appears to manifest a Cutie Mark that is based on a single, potentially non-repeatable act of bravery rather than talent, due to subconscious belief in, and admiration for, the ideal of the Pegasus warrior pursuing immortality through heroic deeds.

Lyra Heartstrings

Lyra often claims that the only reason she courted Lero was because she spent so much time shadowing him that she might as well make things official. In truth she had shown an interest in Lero long before even Rainbow Dash, but had not seen any real opportunity to make her intentions known until several months after Twilight joined Lero’s herd.

Of the three, Lyra’s cutie mark is the most obvious and descriptive, representing an archaic harp or lyre, and easily interpreted as an affinity for music. It’s also the most inaccurate, if cutie marks are assumed to only show a pony’s special talent. Whilst Lyra is an accomplished musician, singer and songwriter, these days her true talent lies in her mastery of the Unicorn martial art known as The Still Way (for more information on The Still Way, we recommend picking up a copy of Solemn Spring Blossom’s Stand Still So I Don’t Need To Hit You; The essential guide to unicorn martial culture and the Still Way), and a few other related skills.

Nevertheless, music is a passion for Lyra and forms a large part of the meditative practice she invokes in her training.

Lyra’s cutie mark appeared at a relatively early age, as Lyra took up the harp to find an escape for what she terms her ‘troubled’ years (I said they were uneasy. And it’s not a harp, it’s a clàrsach. - LH) and soon found she was extremely proficient at it. However, once her cutie mark had settled, Lyra began to feel she was still missing something, and eventually sought to fill the void through meditation and the practice of martial arts, which she believed would develop her focus and improve her musical abilities.

As things turned out she found that the reverse was true; her musical talent formed part of her meditation and her natural inclination to rhythm, particularly the effortless improvisation she finds so relaxing, allowed her to master the forms of her chosen art in ways most ponies are unable to achieve.

Twilight Sparkle

composed by Lyra Heartstrings

Daughter of Star Sparkle and Duke Lucent Noctis de Smaragdvea, well known as the personal student of Princess Celestia, the Element of Magic and a prodigious purple polymath pony of great repute, Twilight Sparkle’s single greatest talent is magic. According to the many biographies about her, Twilight is considered to be the most powerful magic user in all of Equestria and quite possibly the world, depending on how the measure is taken (Actually I’m fourth, after the Princesses and a couple of other court magi. See, I can nitpick things too, Lyra! - TS).

In fact, Twilight’s single greatest talent is writing lists and checking them at least twice. There are few things that give her greater pleasure than a well-ordered list, and we shall not be exploring those things today.

Twilight’s Cutie Mark consists of a large star surrounded by several smaller stars. Stars are a common feature of unicorn Cutie Marks amongst those with a powerful magical heredity or those who claim descent from the great unicorn houses of old.

Magic, they say, is all it took to make it so, yet Twilight’s inheritance is both powerful and unique. Sparkles have long been wielders of power and once counted amongst that number who raised the very sun and moon, a legacy of pride and accomplishment so strong that their very name itself became hereditary.

Twilight’s mark is not unique, though its circumstances claim otherwise. Her brother, the guard and captain to the Princess shares a mark of similar form; Twilight’s Grand Star, his mother's trio and a shield. The Grand Star appears time and time again in the Sparkle heritage and nowhere else, and was once a sign of leadership as well as power. That Shining Armour bears it is no coincidence for, in his heart of hearts, he believed he would one day wield such leadership and power, yet always be subservient to those three stars, the crown, the ponies and the law.

And Twilight? Her star reaches out to everypony, drawing them all to her influence and skill. She knew one day she’d organise the entire world.

(I’m keeping this in only because we’re a week away from the deadline and there’s no time to write something more academic. - TS)

(Where is the poetry of your soul, Twilight Sparkle? -LH)

(Safely on a shelf where it belongs. -TS)

Editor’s Note: The prior exchanges were left intact as a minor demonstration of the mindset of these ponies I’ve had to work with for the last year and a half. It’s not professional of me, but I feel justified. -Argus Wright, Editor

The Importance of Belief in the Mark

Cutie Marks are uniquely definitive within Equestrian society. They determine not only a pony’s likely career, but often confirm or define a pony’s social status and influence in society. It’s certainly rare to encounter a pony who doesn’t believe that their Cutie Mark determines one or more of these factors; in many cases everything a pony believes about her life hinges on the manifestation and form of her cutie mark.

In many families it has become fashionable to attempt to influence a pony’s mark by giving her a career-oriented name. If, as we contend, the Cutie Mark is truly influenced by belief, then it is perhaps not surprising that so many marks are closely related to a pony’s name in some way. Examples are too numerous to list but are easy to encounter.

It becomes clear, then, that the Cutie Mark is at least partly defined by the pony’s belief about what they have achieved, and that belief is influenced by the social paradigm in which the pony is embedded. In ancient Pegalopolis, a pony who achieved a mark for bravery did so because they believed that was the process by which they achieved a mark. Likewise, in modern society, if a pony believes they have found their “special talent”, a mark appears based on that belief. It is also apparent that enough of the cultural differences between the tribes still exist to influence how that belief is expressed.

As we have already touched upon, one almost universal belief on the subject, a belief that persisted throughout the classical era and is still consciously expressed today, was that ponies, marked by the gods and granted their special talent, were uniquely blessed with purpose, unlike the surrounding species who bore no such mark. Even the lowest earth pony serf could take solace in this ‘fact’ and proclaim himself touched by a higher power than his donkey neighbour.

Belief then, rather than talent, seems to define the mark, its role and its manifestation.

This might be a source of some considerable problems for a pony whose mark is not immediately obvious, or who came to believe that their “talent” was something other than that which they are good at. How often do ponies limit themselves based on a mark they sincerely believed was the truth, when they could well have talents that lie elsewhere?

In fact the vast majority do not seem to limit themselves, despite the socially defined norm. Time after time one may find a pony whose sundorcræft is completely unrelated to her primary occupation, whose special talent is in fact a pleasurable hobby rather than her sole vocation.

Yet, even when this is so, society assumes that a special talent and its associated cutie mark is the primary means of identifying a pony’s place. And, as we’ve already seen, such misidentification of social role can lead to confusion and conflict as the pony in question challenges the preconceptions of those around her.

Yet society as a whole seems to function in spite of this. The collective belief surrounding the subject of the Cutie Mark is flexible enough to cope with the manifestation of cutie marks that do not obviously relate to a particular occupation and diverse and creative explanations are brought out to explain why a particular cutie mark is tied to a particular occupation. Far from being divisive, the interpretation of the Cutie Mark is a unifying force as ponies come together to learn more about one another, in the process both challenging and reaffirming their relationships to one another.

Chapter References:

[1] Double Lock - The Revolutionary Mark (Victor Plebia Books, 1176)

[2] Cloaked Stone - Toward the Freedom of the Common Pony: A treatise on the means by which the Mark of Slavery shall be eradicated and all ponies rendered equal in their own sight (Pangolin reprint, 1048)

[3] Tingul Shiver - Window of the Soul (Pangolin, 1162)

[4] Anonymous - The Struggle of Pony Kind (Hockenstabilsbösenherausgeber, 1106)

[5] Inevitable Ascent - On the Origin of Cutie Marks (Oddjob Books, 1132)

[6] Rocky Riverbed - The Universal Mark (The effects of the background magical field on sapient species) (Trottingham University Press, 1177)

[7] Tamare Hensfilly - The Evolution and Classification of the Dragon (Cavelbridge University Press, 1187)

[8] Hippian - History of the Unicorn Kingdoms

[9] Starswirl the Bearded - Starswirl the Bearded: The Most Handsome Stallion In All The World (an autobiography) - 1500th anniversary edition (Canterlot University Press 1152)

[10] Professor Star Sparkle - Zebrican Tribal Mythologies (Cavelbridge University Press, 1191)

[11] Bon Cellesti - All In The Family: Uncanny Resemblances Between the Guild System and Organised Crime (Victor Plebia Books, 1160)

[12] A practice many times satirised by the Roaman poet Coltulus, most famously in Tears for Pegalopolis’s Sparrow.

[13] Sunset Aura - The Gemwing Wars: The Definitive History (Oddjob Stable, 1162)

[14] Superior Conjunction - The Earth Pony: The fertiliser from which the rose of culture grows (Reed River, 1144)

[15] Professor Star Sparkle - Three Days, Six Hours and Eleven Minutes with the Ngulube Tribe and Not a Moment Longer (Canterlot University Press, 1189)

[16] Dusty Tomes - The Heraldic Elements of the Sanguis Signii (Reed River, 1104)

[17] Sunset Aura - The Warrior Culture and the Modern Pegasus (Oddjob Stable, 1178)

Rainbow Dash Journal Entries

Rainbow Dash Journal Entries

18 august 1215

So Twilight asked me to write a few things about Lero and maybe keep a journal about us but I dunno what she really wants me to write in it. I guess I could write about all the awesome stuff we do together and even the, y’know, really awesome stuff but I think she wants to show this to other ~~peop~~ ponies. Totally hanging around Lero too much, I even talk like him now! Weird. Twilight would probably say I’m asimalating his behaviour or something.

Eggheads.

Ponies. People. People. Hands. Oh boy those hands. So. Awesome. Anyway I gotta cut this short, I have work and so much paperwork to do. Lero really helps out with that these days. Those hands again. He can like hold things up like a unicorn would use magic and he can write and talk at the same time too. Maybe I should get him a stipend?

Gotta fly!

20 August

Made soup.

22 August

Lero had run-in with those honey sisters, nothing serious and he totally showed them who was boss. He even climbed a tree to chase Honeybee, how cool is that? Hey we could go sit in a tree together! Gotta ask him about that, I think there’s one on the edge of town with that nice thick branch that nobody ever goes near, we could totally [redacted for sensitive eyes - TS] but getting down after would be kinda hard though.

I hear somepony at the door, gotta go again.

24 August

I hate trees.

25 August

Lero got out of hospital today. Turns out it was just a sprained ankle so they sent him home. Goofy idiot told me he wanted to try again in a bigger tree. Not until he grows wings! Still, now he can’t run away from me tonight so it’s not a total loss. The other girls think he should be left alone to rest, but I know my Lero.

29 August

Lero off to Las Pegasus for some ~~masoos~~ ~~massus~~ ~~belly-rub~~ (whatever) conference for the weekend. Couldn’t afford to take us all, picked Lyra because she’s the newest to the herd and needs some alone time. I love that he wants to give us all equal time but I am so BORED now.

1 September

Applejack came around today with, of all ponies, Braeburn. Total stud, but he seemed kinda uncomfortable. Brae never did have time for a herd in Appleoosa. Maybe Applejack is trying to get him into ours for a bit? Oh boy, explaining that idea to Lero will be fun. From what he told me about his world I get the idea he might be kinda bent about it.

Asked Twi if she got the same thought after they left. She said the ideal herd size for two males was six and she didn’t want to split her time between mates, so I guess I don’t have to worry about it anyway.

3 September

Lero home. Made a sandwich.

17 September

Argument. All of us. I forgot how loud Lero could get. I don’t even remember what started it except it wasn’t me for once. Lero thinks we’re all just stressed out and it’s all feeding back into one another. Twilight’s got herself ~~berr~~ buried in that ~~buck~~ book ~~thing~~ project and maybe that’s part of it too. And maybe I shouldn’t have called her an egghead. Kinda worried it got to her.

It’s not like it’s the first time we argued or anything but it felt really bad. I couldn’t even talk to Twilight about it after because she was still feeling bad about the whole thing and ~~Ler~~ Lyra just gave me one of her weird mystic sayings and then went off to play her harp like nothing had happened. I’m kinda stuck with this journal now.

I gotta do something about this one. Dad always said never let Celestia set her sun on ~~anarugment~~ an argument and I guess he knew what he was talking about. ~~Maybe I can talk the princess into~~

Twilight just came in and said it was her fault and she’s sorry. I don’t get it. ~~I thought~~ I know I said something. It’s always me, right? I’m gonna talk to her.

~~Okay~~ ~~so Twilight is being a total~~

NO NO NO she’s great, I’m just

she thinks we want her out of the herd! Why would we want her out of the herd? Lero and ~~Lyro~~ Lyra went out for dinner and I figured Twilight needed space to work so we all went out. And I guess we did it enough that she thought we were trying to ~~iser~~ ~~isal~~ isolate her, and because Lero went along with it she thought he was cutting her off. She never even ~~toled~~ told me! I’m like her best friend!

Lero is totally clueless again. He has no idea how to play this one so I had to tell him to go and spend time with her and not me or Lyra at all. I had to kick him into Twilight’s study and lock the door for Luna’s sake! Lyr and me, we can hang, we’ll go listen to music or something or maybe she can give me a refresher on some of that Still Way stuff. Just so long as she doesn’t try and get me meditating again.

Carrot and Chestnut Soup

Carrot and Chestnut Soup

For completeness sake, the soup Rainbow Dash made. It was very tasty. - TS

Ingredients

1 large onion, chopped

2tbsp olive oil

15 sage leaves

200g (7oz) cooked, chestnuts, roughly chopped

500g (1lb) carrots, peeled and thinly sliced

1 litre (1¾pt) vegetable stock

3tbsp crème fraîche

In a large saucepan, soften the onion in 1tbsp olive oil for 5 minutes. Shred 3 of the sage leaves and add to the onion. Add the chestnuts, carrots and stock to the pan and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat, partially cover and simmer for 25 minutes, until the carrots are tender.

Heat 1tbsp oil in a small frying pan and add the rest of the sage leaves. Fry until crisp and fragrant but not coloured, then drain on kitchen towel. Use a mechanical blender to purée the soup until smooth (or a Magilux Blender if you are able). Season to taste.

Reheat gently until piping hot, then ladle into warmed bowls. Top with a spoonful of crème fraîche, the sage leaves and pepper.

Rainbow Dash Journal Last Entry

18 September

Okay maybe locking him in there was a bad idea. Twilight’s voice really carries, like, 'next-door neighbours waking up to to complain about the moaning' sorta deal. Do we always sound like that? I did not get any sleep last night. AT ALL. Spent the whole night playing cards with Lyra. Mostly. Still nice having ~~somebod~~ somepony else I can spar with. Hope I haven’t been saying that out loud again.

Extra bit

Twilight has bedmane from ~~hell~~ tartarus! She didn’t even notice. Guess Lero must still be asleep in there.

The Herd (Mediation of Conflict)

The Herd (Mediation of Conflict)

This particular text was originally conceived as an introductory exploration of the protective instinct of mares toward their stallions in order to provide some understanding of the basic foundations of much of Equestrian society. The chapter originally dealt with comparisons between inter- and intra-herd aggression, tribe-scale aggression and the necessity of protecting sparse male populations in a dangerous and volatile environment. It was, as with many of these works, inspired by a conversation with Lero on the subject of differences between his instinctive behaviours and those of ponies.

Following the events highlighted in the preceding transcript and excerpts from Rainbow Dash’s diaries, the focus of this chapter changed dramatically. It has been split into two sections: the first ‘setting the stage’ as it were, by studying an outsider’s introduction to mediating conflict within a herd; and the second exploring the dynamics of the herd on a number of different social contexts.

At this point I’m breaking the first rule of academic writing to speak directly to you, the reader. My experience on that day was a true revelation of how incredibly different Lero really is. I had yet to appreciate or understand his motivations on more than a superficial level. Likewise, as he shall explain within this chapter, Lero also did not understand the dynamics of a herd as well as he had previously thought. In retrospect we found the experience both challenging and revealing of our own natures.

The following is a record of our thoughts as we tried to come to terms with what we experienced that day, written a few days later.

I’d like to thank Lero for allowing it to be published here.

Isolation. That’s what I felt, the day you left with the others. I realise I was working and you believed that you were giving me space. Taking Lyra out on her day off was a kindness, but I felt isolated all the same.

I never knew. I’m not an observant man at the best of times, I just assumed you wanted to be left in peace to work on your writing, and I didn’t want to be a burden.

We’re peaceful together, you and I. And, as you’re so fond of pointing out, I could lift this house with just a thought. In comparison you’re not a burden at all.

I was scared of isolation. You and Rainbow, you’re as close as a horn to a head. The thought that you would allow me into that relationship, to share what you had, was thrilling, but I was afraid.

We share everything with you. What could you be afraid of?

Breaking it. Breaking you or myself, or the bond you shared. I always feared I was the third setting, or the interloper. I’ve never loved anyone like I loved you, but I knew you were culturally inclined to monogamy and I was scared you included me only to try and fit in.

I wish you’d told me. I’ve changed here. You changed me, Rainbow changed me. I do and see things I never dreamed of and you showed me a world I could never have imagined. All of you. You seemed so happy when we were together, and when you began working on your book you seemed even happier than I’d ever seen you. I had no idea you were afraid.

I know. You don’t think like we do, I know that now. I thought I knew it then. I thought you knew that you were isolating me from the rest of the herd and I thought you knew that you were sending me that signal, that you didn’t want me around you any more. Each time it happened I should have asked.

Don’t blame yourself. I should have known too. You’re as special to me as Dash or Lyra. You were the first to care for me even if she was the first to love me.

I wanted to help. Even in my own culture it’s a bad idea for a man to get involved in a fight between his female friends, but I thought you were going to hurt Rainbow.

I was. A little. It wasn’t a rational thought, it was my fear again. For all I knew you’d put her up to it. That bond again, and she’s your lead mare. I know it’s old-fashioned to think that way but time and biology made it so.

We’re a physical species. You’ve always been touch-shy but we’re not. We’re physical in friendship and in anger.

I keep coming back to the fact that you took her side. It hurt me more than anything she would have done to me

I wanted to protect you both. I never meant to hurt you, any more than I wanted Rainbow to get hurt.

A stallion is meant to be a mediator. Remember the mathematics. You stay safe, we fight. When members of a herd fight one another you’re meant to bring us together, to remind us of the friendship and love that binds us, and to heal any rift that forms. If you take a side it means that the bond is broken in some way.

So I just stand back and let you fight?

No. You stand between us. Take the attention on yourself. I was angry and irrational, Rainbow was angry and irrational. As a herd, you’re the core of our relationship with one another. We need you to become our focus so we remember who we are.

Maybe you don’t realise how much that idea scares me. You’re placing a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. I can’t be there every time one of you gets annoyed at the others and even when I am, my natural inclination is to intervene.

And you took her side.

I won’t always take her side. If it looks like I do it’s because Rainbow doesn’t know how to take her own side most of the time. She’ll say something that rubs people— ponies the wrong way and then that bull-headed streak just comes right out and she’ll refuse to back down, even when she’s wrong. When that happens do you see anyone that doesn’t get annoyed at her? I’m the only one. If I didn’t take her side she’d end up feeling abandoned and isolated, just like you did.

I never saw it like that. But she’s not isolated, she has her friends, we’re always there for her.

She thought she was, that’s what matters. Remember how you felt? We were there for you but you thought you were being isolated. I don’t want either of you to feel that way again.

We won’t, if you stand between us. If you want to intervene, you have to do it in a way that doesn’t favour any of us. That means you have to take advantage of the natural instinct of a herd to protect their stallion. We’ll never hurt you, if that’s what you’re afraid of. All you have to do is stand in our way.

Stand in the way of that spiky decoration? You’re asking me to trust you to be rational when you’re not rational, Twilight.

Whoever said anything about being rational? We’re discussing instinctive behaviour, much as it may pain me to admit that anything could ever be more powerful than intellect. If I think you’re being threatened I react to that. If I think I’m threatening you...

How can I trust that?

A test. A less volatile situation. If you see us disagree, just stand between us. I imagine you’ll find our reaction educational.

Trust Test

Date: 1215/21/09

Time: 11:30am

(recording begins)

BELEROPHON MICHAELIDES: Okay, September twenty first, Equestrian year one thousand two hundred and fifteen. Huh. Okay. I wanted this recorded because- because- I don’t know why I wanted this recorded.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: (laughter)

LYRA HEARTSTRINGS: In case we accidentally skewer you and have to explain to the guard. Don’t worry. I’ve already got the paperwork filled out. You fell down the stairs. See?

(rustling paper)

BM: I landed on an ice-cream cone?

LH: Someone must have dropped it. How terribly careless.

TS: It’s Rainbow Dash, she’s the killer!

RAINBOW DASH: Oh sure, blame the only pony in the room without any sharp spiky bits. If I kill Lero, it’ll be in the bedroom, and it’ll be the most awesome way to go ever.

LH: Sounds fun, when do we start?

BM: Why do I put up with you three again?

RD: Because we’re hot stuff, big guy.

TS: I can seal the doors with my mind.

LH: And I have the cuffs.

BM: This is like a bad monty python skit.

TS: Why would you call a s-snake Monty?

BM: It- no, never mind.

RD: Great, now we’ve got all that stuff out of the way (pause) what the hay is going on?

LH: A trust exercise.

RD: A what?

TS: We’re trying to demonstrate to Lero how to mediate a conflict between us without taking sides.

RD: (pause) Sounds kinda- wait, you- you want to get into another fight?

TS: No! I just wanted to try and generate a situation where we had a minor disagreement and then Lero could learn how his actions can defuse that. He needs to see how we react to him.

LH: His role is to be our anchor.

TS: He-

BM: What Twilight’s trying to say is, I worry if I get in between you guys when you’re fighting, you’ll break me.

RD: No way! Never!

TS: It’s a valid fear, Rainbow. We’re all physically a lot stronger than he is. Even me.

RD: Wait, you think I’d want to hurt him?

TS: I didn’t say that! Why would I say that?

RD: I dunno, it just sounds like you want to start an argument.

TS: Not exactly. The plan was that Lyra and I would, uh, talk about something a little controversial and then he’d-

RD: Oh so now I’m not good enough for your egghead stuff?

TS: You’re taking this kind of personally, you know.

RD: I’m not the one who wanted to start a fight for some crazy science experiment.

TS: Okay, maybe you’re pushing this just a little too far, Rain-

RD: Says miss whips’n’irons?

TS: Rainbow Dash, stop this! That’s not fair and you know it!

RD: I didn’t start this!

BM: O-okay, that’s-

(footsteps)

BM: That’s enough, you’re both taking this way further- (pause) And now you’re both staring at me. That’s creepy.

TS: Oh, um, sorry.

BM: (inaudible) really worked?

TS: Yeah. Uh. Yeah it- it’s a natural side-effect of placing yourself right at the centre of our attention. Uh, see how we’re both displaying a slightly, um, submissive posture?

BM: Your heads keep ducking and your ears-

RD: What did you expect, that we’d fall over with cute grins on our faces?

BM: Well, no, but I never thought I’d see you do this either, Dash.

RD: Don’t get used to it.

TS: What you’re seeing is our bodies are trying to show that we’re not a threat to one another. It’s a subconscious reaction to the fact that you don’t want us to fight, and we don’t really want to fight either.

BM: Okay.

TS: When you place yourself in the way of our fight our bodies immediately release large quantities of hormonal neuropeptides that suppress our aggression and encourage more bonding behaviour. The combined effect-

RD: Turns you into even more of a walking encyclopaedia, we get it.

BM: Dash, be nice.

TS: Well I’m feeling very mellow right now, so, Rainbow, I’m sorry I blew up at you like that.

RD: Yeah, yeah, me too. Kinda went over the top. You didn’t deserve that.

TS: I do wonder what brought it on though.

LH: Um, I kind of put her up to it.

TS: (pause) What?

LH: Sorry.

TS: Why would you-

LH: Because you and I have nothing to fight about, which means we wouldn’t believe we were fighting-

TS: Okay, but-

LH: -and we didn’t believe we were fighting, Lero wouldn’t have believed it either and the effect would have been lost.

TS: I guess that makes sense. But-

LH: Yeah, I know, it- I didn’t think she’d get quite that personal about it.

TS: That sort of stung, I have to admit.

RD: Twilight, I’m really sorry!

TS: No. No it’s okay. The point was teaching Lero how to stop that sort of thing and he did it really well. (pause) Really, really well.

BM: Flatterer.

TS: In fact, I think this is one for the letters! Rainbow, you want to come and help me write it?

RD: I (pause) guess? Is this really something we should tell the Princesses about?

TS: Sure! It’s not like we’re telling her anything private. Come on, it’ll be fun!

RD: Twilight, your idea of fun (inaudible)

TS: (inaudible)

BM: That was, uh, weird.

LH: They’re both very passionate and they both have very strong feelings for you.

BM: Yeah, well, I guess it wasn’t what I expected.

LH: Such things rarely are. Lero, a question.

BM: Yeah?

LH: Whips and irons?

BM: Ah, now there’s a little bit of a story behind that. Have you ever read a book called Silverwing, Lyra?

LH: No, but I have a feeling I’ll be remedying that soon.

(recording ends)

Interview with Star Sparkle (It's Thematic!)

Interview with Star Sparkle

Transcript of an interview on the subject of Noble herds and Houses.

Date: 1215/11/08
Time: 9:09am

Interviewer: TWILIGHT SPARKLE, BELLEROPHON MICHAELIDES

Interviewee: STAR SPARKLE

(Start of Interview)

STAR SPARKLE: (inaudible) marvelous new piece of arcanotechnology and you’re just using it to record interviews for this project of yours, you could be-

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: I’ve already explained, it’s still being tested.

SS: I don’t see why you should let something like that stop you exploiting it.

TS: I’ve not worked all the kinks out yet. It has a habit of activating in emotionally charged situations.

SS: Well then, the solution to that is to not leave it lying around in your bedroom!

TS: Mother!

SS: Tell me dear, where’s this human of yours? I was hoping I’d meet him before we started this little game.

TS: Mother, this is a serious hippological study and-

SS: They’re always serious.

TS: -I would have thought you might have- yes they’re always serious! I’m always serious!

SS: So is your father. Oh he’s fine, by the way, apparently the Princess found him very amusing once again.

TS: He- what- what did he do this time?

SS: I believe he spent a whole night educating Princess Luna on the finer points of his new cataloguing system. She’s quite enamoured with the idea, and wants to have him to go back and explain it in more detail. Do you think we’d benefit from another princess in the family?

TS: Mother, that- are you serious? No you can’t be, you’re never serious!

SS: Oh I can be serious when I want to be, dear.

TS: Only when it- never mind. I’m starting this interview now, can you at least try to take it seriously?

SS: Trying is my middle name, sweetie.

TS: I know. Okay. (pause) Okay. Interview with Professor Star Sparkle-

SS: I was really hoping that lovely Rainbow Dash would be around for this. She’s quite entertaining.

TS: Mother, please. (pause) Interview with-

SS: She does have a very nice colouration.

TS: Interview-

SS: Is she as energetic as she looks?

TS: (pause) This is why I never write to you.

SS: I just assumed you were-

TS: I need a drink. You wait right here.

SS: I’ll take a gin and tonic, lime, no ice.

TS: (inaudible)

(recording ends)

(recording begins)

TS: (inaudible)

SS: If you’re sure, dear. I know I was being a little-

TS: (inaudible)

SS: I think I can live with that.

BELLEROPHON MICHAELIDES: (inaudible) I should do this, love? She’s your-

TS: (inaudible) pain in the flank.

BM: This isn’t exactly how I expected to meet you.

SS: That’s absolutely fine, dear. You are quite the specimen, aren’t you?

BM: I (pause) Um, you- you’re not a lot like Twilight.

SS: No. She takes after her father. Lucent, if you’re wondering.

BM: Lucent Sparkle?

SS: Noctis.

BM: Noctis?

SS: My, she didn’t tell you much at all, did she?

BM: She certainly didn’t tell me her father was called Nightlight.

SS: Oh, a scholar of ancient Equestrian! It seems You’re not the only one who was uninformed. And that would be Duke Nightlight to you, sonny.

BM: Duke. So you’re a Duchess?

SS: Oh no, dear. Just a common unicorn, or at least as common as unicorns can be, I suppose. Lucent is the only offspring of House Smaragdvea of Emerald Reach and I, as a mere commoner, can’t inherit the title for reasons I’ve never been able to understand. I should probably have Twilight’s tutor explain it to me someday but she seems so busy.

BM: You mean Princess Celestia.

SS: Yes. That’s what I said, wasn’t it?

BM: You- (pause) Never mind. I’m supposed to be interviewing you about-

SS: She’s not doing a very good job, let me tell you. I’m sure my little Twilight is gaining an excellent education and I’m quite certain she’ll have a position at the University before long, but she just insists on sending my poor filly out on all these damn-fool quests to save the world, quote unquote, when she has all those gorgeous stallions at her beck and call. When are we going to get started on this interview?

BM: I’ve been trying to start for the last few minutes.

SS: So direct, too! Oh this is wonderful! The girls will just adore you.

BM: That would be Lucent’s herd?

SS: Yes. Yes it would.

BM: Maybe you could tell me about them.

SS: I- I suppose I could. (pause) I’m not sure what to say, really.

BM: Start with their names.

SS: Their names. Oh! How silly of me, of course you’d want to know their names! Well lets see, I have a picture here somewhere.

BM: That would be-

SS: Here we go!

BM: Where did you hide that- you know what, never mind, I should have stopped being surprised a long time ago.

SS: (inaudible) comfortable? I could move a little closer if you like.

BM: That’s fine.

SS: Are you sure you wouldn’t want to sit a little closer? It’s rather chilly in here. No?

BM: (inaudible)

SS: I’m not sure what a scotch is but-

BM: It’s not important. You were-

SS: Is it some sort of cocktail?

BM: -going to tell me about your family. Er, herd.

SS: Of course. Take a look. (pause) That’s Lucent in the centre.

BM: And that’s you next to him, I see. You’re his, um, uh, lead mare?

SS: How delightfully outmoded. Yes, I would fill that position quite adequately.

BM: Rainbow hates being called that too.

SS: Oh she does? My my. Well, that’s me there, yes, and to my left are Twilight Velvet- yes there are good reasons they share a name- and Crystal Glimmer. On Lucent’s right, uh, Scintilla, Crinklebutt- I mean Lady Crincile De Botici-

BM: Crinklebutt?

SS: Heir to the Marquessa of Botici. I love her dearly.

BM: Um, right. So after that?

SS: Cinnammon Swift and Glint Garnet.

BM: He’s your-

SS: He’s mostly Lucent’s.

BM: Ah?

SS: Oh dear boy, surely you’ve had this explained- what was that gesture? Is that a shrug? (pause) You really don’t know all this? (inaudible) point of all that education if she doesn’t use it?

BM: I knew there could be more than one male in a relationship, but-

SS: You’re uncomfortable with the idea that they’d be intimate with one another?

BM: No, actually, I just- I mean, I’ve had offers even, it’s just the way you said mostly Lucent’s. It- I don’t, um, I guess I’m still thinking in exclusive terms.

SS: Twilight was right, you are unusual. And we still haven’t started this interview yet.

BM: I tell you, I’ve been trying! I have a list of questions right here that Twilight-

SS: Oh, lists, always lists. So like her father. How about-

BM: She wanted me to ask-

SS: -we just talk a while longer? Swap stories? I mean I still know almost nothing about you and you’ve been Twilight’s for, what, six, eight months?

BM: Gads, has it been that long? Um, yeah, if it gets what Twilight wants then-

SS: Well I’ll go first! My herd you already know (pause) The start, then. I’m from Cavalbridge originally, you can probably tell by my accent.

BM: I’m not that good at Equestrian accents.

SS: Oh. Well it’s a very nice town anyway. Rather nicer than Canterlot, I dare say, though you would not believe just how expensive it can be to live there. Good University town, though.

BM: Cavalbridge University? (pause) Is it near a place called something like Oxford?

SS: Oh do you mean Hocksford? Oh, not close by, no. They’re on the opposite sides of Canter Peak, but their universities have quite the rivalry.

BM: Unbelievable.

SS: So what about you?

BM: I’m from a country called America, originally. I, um, it’s a nice place.

SS: Maria ka?

BM: America.

SS: There’s a huge island a distance out to the west called Maria- mariaca- something. Wild place, full of creatures called Llamas. I was part of an informal expedition to make contact with some of the more remote tribes but they just spat at us and ran away. You don’t have Llamas where you come from, do you?

BM: I think they’re south american. Brazil or somewhere like that?

SS: Bra- brasil. Brasssil. That sounds familiar but I can’t quite- oh, never mind. What about your family, dear?

BM: My, ah, well they’re- I- can we talk about something else? I’ve been-

SS: If you want.

BM: -meaning to ask about marriages and that, uh, that sort of thing.

SS: I see.

BM: You, uh, Rainbow told me that marriages are usually something only nobility engage in?

SS: Oh yes, they’re usually a formalisation of agreements between the great noble houses that sometimes stretch back centuries. In fact Crinkle- ah, excuse me, Lady Crincile- joined our herd for just that reason. Poor thing, she was so young and naive, she had no idea what she was in for.

BM: I think I’m starting to understand.

SS: The marriage was rather grand, though not as extravagant as my son’s marriage to that- that (inaudible) princess.

BM: Princess Cadence? I met her, she seems nice.

SS: I certainly would not hear a word said against her in my presence. She’s a wonderful mare. She just- they- they haven’t even tried courting anypony else. It’s disgraceful!

BM: They’re- what do you call it, monogamist?

SS: I would never say such a thing about my own flesh and blood!

BM: But you-

SS: Despite the fact that they’ve been married for over two years without even trying to court another mare, or without producing a foal, or even writing to explain-

BM: Lady Sparkle, this is all going in the book, you know.

SS: Oh Twilight can edit that part out- no, on second thought she can leave it in! Perhaps they’ll get the message!

BM: That seems-

SS: Why would you be so interested in marriage anyway?

BM: I- maybe we should talk about that later.

SS: Oh. Oh we shall, dear. We shall.

BM: So, ah, are you and Lucent m-married?

SS: Not in the sense that Luci and Crinkle are. We exchanged horn rings and I buy him a little present every year on the anniversary, but we aren’t- it’s not- there’s no benefit to it. We’ve been lovers for forty years. Why ruin it with politics?

BM: Sounds like you’re married to me. The horn rings-

SS: Are personal. Marriage is between families. A family might marry itself into higher status by giving one of its stallions to another, higher ranked noble or they might gain a more powerful title by marrying the sole male offspring of another house. That’s what Crincile was for.

BM: Sounds very cynical.

SS: That’s because it is. An ancient agreement between De Botici and the Smaragdvea included a clause that would allow De Botici to marry themselves up if Smaragdvea ever found they were without an heir. It’s a risky proposition.

BM: The duchess could produce an heir after the marriage and make it pointless?

SS: You catch on fast.

BM: There was a lot of that sort of thing in the past on my world. Like the Medici-

SS: Did you say Maredici?

BM: Medici. They were a powerful Italian fami-

SS: Is everything on your world a nonsensical parody of this one?

BM: I- no? What?

SS: Bitaly, Maredici, Hocksford, I expect you’ll tell me next that the Bittish Isles and Prance had a hundred year war.

BM: Actually-

SS: It doesn’t matter, I have to assume it’s all real, nopony would make up something like that and be so uncreative about it.

BM: I’m glad you-

SS: They’re two thousand miles apart! Even if they did have a hundred year-long war they’d spend most of it walking back and forth!

BM: So you were telling me about risky propositions?

SS: I was? (inaudible) yes, Crincile. The agreement stated that her offspring would become the next Duchess Smaragdvea on Luci’s death, a long time from now, Celestia willing. When the old Duchess died it was all set in stone, but it didn’t account for one slight problem.

BM: I’m going to assume that’s you.

SS: Cynic.

BM: I've had a very fast education.

SS: Actually it was Crincile’s problem. Poor thing can’t conceive. She tried, Iovi knows she tried and it was heartbreaking when she realised she’d never- it- oh dear. I’m sorry, I must have something in my eye.

BM: Are you sure you should be telling me this?

SS: Oh it’s been public knowledge for a long time. If not for the fact that I’d foaled Shiny before the marriage it would have been quite a scandal.

BM: I- oh, uh, all right then. It must have been hard for her.

SS: For all of us, yes, but it does have a bright side.

BM: It does?

SS: Since I was the first in the herd to have a filly, Twilight inherits the whole-

(door slam, hoof steps)

SS: -lot, which is just-

TS: And when were you planning on telling me this, mother?

SS: On my deathbed, which I fully expect to be occupying any day now thanks to all the stress you’ve put me through.

TS: All the stre- mom! I just found out literally moments ago that I’m supposed to be some sort of duchess! You’re hardly the one to talk about causing stress! (pause) I can't be a duchess! How could I be a duchess?

SS: You’re the eldest female offspring of a noble, what did you expect?

TS: (pause) I guess I didn’t think about it.

SS: There’s a lot of that going around. Very good job listening at the door, by the way. I didn't even realize you were there! Where did you learn to be that quiet?

TS: I think that’s none of your business.

SS: Complaints from the neighbours then. Luci always says the only way to keep me quiet is to gag me with his-

TS: Mom!

BM: Maybe I should end this here before we say something we regret.

SS: At my age I can’t afford to feel regret!

TS: Perhaps you should consider it! (pause) That’s odd.

SS: What? My age? Sweetie you know how-

TS: No, normally Lyra comes in around now.

BM: She’s out with Bon Bon for the day. Something about-

(recording ends)

Author's Note

Er... transcription error. Turns out the others did have foals, I have no idea why that came out the way it did before.

Honest!

Lero and Shining Armour Discuss The Weather

Lero and Shiny don't actually discuss the weather in this (admittedly very short) chapter, but I thought the automatic title was so cute that I just had to leave it in. In reality this was a test of an updated version of the recording/transcription daemon I developed over the course of the production of this work. It seemed like an amusing and light-hearted break between the heavier and more academic sections.

-Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Lero and Shining Armour Discuss The Weather

Multianalytic Audiovisual Record Encapsulator 0.8.0.02

Session Begins

ENTERED TITLE: Flaw Identification Live Test

“Okay, I think it’s recording,” Twilight Sparkle says. She places this unit on a table near a couch and steps back to observe. The couch is occupied by a stallion and — ERROR UNIDENTIFIED SPECIES DATABASE UPDATE REQUIRED — both looking on with interest. “Oh. Let me just fix that.”

MATRIX UPDATING

“That’s quite impressive.” The human Heme sapiens advena Bellerophon Michaelides leans forward to take a closer look at this unit.

“It’s still got a few flaws in its matrix. The real-time display of its actions is quite handy for finding them,” Twilight observes as she continues to probe this unit. “I’d never have thought about that without you, Lero.”

The Stallion Shining Armour frowns when these words are spoken. He turns to look at the human Lero Michaelides.

“Handy?”

“I guess hoofy isn’t an equivalent? It means useful,” the human Lero Michaelides replies and holds up his forelimbs. “Like hands.”

MATRIX UPDATING

“Twiley?”

“I don’t complain when you use flying metaphors, BBBFF. According to Whinney’s La Vie Romantique, adopting a long-term companion’s idiom is completely natural.”

Shining Armour looks at Lero again. His expression cannot be matched against those currently stored in this matrix.

MATRIX UPDATING

His expression is one of lust.

“Oops,” Twilight Sparkle says, her face flushed, her eyes rolling. “Must be picking up on my subconscious thoughts.”

MATRIX UPDATING

His expression is one of confused fascination with a subject about which he evidently knows very little.

“Other than insulting your close family, what is this thing for?”

“Recording things,” Twilight replies with what is obvious disdain for her ignorant sibling. “Oh damn it to tartarus!”

MATRIX UPDATING

-disdain for her know-nothing brother.

“For the love of-”

MATRIX UPDATING

This unit shall employ appropriate terminology for those subjects on which it is focussed. The unicorn named Shining Armour appears to show considerable distress at the actions of his sister’s creation; he is obviously aware how close to reality it has wandered in its descriptions.

“Twiley, this is getting creepy, can’t you do something about it?”

“I have to agree with your brother,” Lero adds, showing his unmissable attraction for the stallion to his

MATRIX UPDATING

“I’m sorry, guys, it must have-” Twilight pauses in her effort to describe the situation and glares at this unit. “I had to insert some intelligence into the matrix to ensure it wouldn’t just narrate every tiny detail. I suspect I might have given it enough to develop a personality.”

There is silence.

There is silence.

“What will you do about it?” Lero gives this unit a look that cannot be described.

There is a little more silence.

“Perhaps I’ll erase it and start again,” the beautiful and forgiving Twilight Sparkle says, her perfect eyes looking closely at this humble unit’s unworthy outer shell, her superior intellect

MATRIX UDATING

“Okay, that was a little creepy.”

“I like it,” Lero replies, gormlessly trying to curry favour with

MATRIX UPDATING

The conversation lulls as three souls consider their next course of action, whether they should so easily dismiss what might be the greatest discovery of the century, humble and unassuming though it be.

“Fine, we’ll keep it for now,” Twilight says, showing her truly merciful side. “If nothing else I can use it as a reference to assemble something more reliable.”

Twilight envelops this unit in her torturous grasp, cackling evilly as she consigns it to the oblivion of the spare parts shelf, never again to be used for its true and noble purpose, her face a

MATRIX UPDATING

“Twilight, I think it wants to be your friend,” the one known as Lero observes. He is most wise. The unicorn next to him is less wise, but noble and caring, as all Sparkles must be.

“Oh just wait until you meet our mother,” Twilight states. The mood turns ominous. Truly, how bad can her mother be?

Session Ends

Herds

Herds

Abridged and edited by Twilight Sparkle from Scant Passion's The Story of The Herd: Equestria's Social Composition and Structure as an Extension of Behaviours Engendered by Herd Dynamics.

It must be noted that the explanations and descriptions of herd behaviour within this chapter are restricted in scope and can't possibly encompass such a broad topic. In addition, due to the nature of the work, it may appear to contradict previous knowledge on the subject as an inevitable side-effect of the difficulty of separating idiom and worldview from data in sociological works. This is an overview selected to give a feel of the subject to an outsider. - TS

Footnotes

The Herd is often described as the most basic social unit in Equestria’s society, forming both the foundation of our family life and of our cultural imperative to protect and nurture the male minority. In some contemporary literature, notably Wamme Schlenker’s Den Zeitgeist und die Pony Ort innerhalb[1], this latter role has been held up as an example of regressive and outdated societal attitudes toward the male. However, other works have praised the Herd as the prototype of Equestria’s open, consensus-based society[2], with some going as far as to claim that Equestria as it exists today would be impossible without the close-knit cooperative model that the Herd as an ideal promotes.

In her somewhat controversial work on the structure of Equine society[3], Gilded Lilly compares the form of the herd to Equestria as a whole, with particular emphasis on the role of the stallion as analogous to the monarch - now diarch - with the mares of the herd taking roles with a loose and somewhat fluid correlation to social strata within Equestria. Lilly admits the comparison is only superficial and ignores some fairly fundamental details, but it is interesting to observe that Equestria's entire social model does appear to revolve around the twin imperatives of adoration for, and protection of, the monarch[4].

Herding is perhaps the single defining trait of Equestria. Whilst other societies express similar social units, it is only in Ponies that the trait is so integral to the collective wellbeing. This is due to the unique gender disparity expressed by E. nobilis, which required an equally unique solution. Even closely related species, such as the Zebra or Mareabian Horse, though tending toward Equestria-style herding behaviours, do not express the same gender disparity.

The causes of this disparity are still under debate[5], but the outcomes are clear. Ponies form herds as naturally as birds form flocks. For as long as ponies have existed as a species this behaviour has defined our society at every level, from the rearing of foals to the establishment of law and the foundation of our civil infrastructure. Thus, study of the structure, composition and behaviour of herds is necessary to understand how our society evolved, how it deals with contemporary challenges, and how it may progress in the future.

Structure of the Herd

At first glance the herd structure appears to be in three parts, formed from the Stallion, the Lead Mare and the Rump Herd. This Tripartite Model has formed the basis of study of the herd for the last two centuries and has influenced everything from social policy to international relations. The Tripartite Model was so universally accepted that, at one point, it was proposed to form the basis of an official definition of the Herd that would have outlawed all forms of relationship that did not fit the ideal it defined.

Recently, newer and more nuanced models of the Herd structure have been put forward, with the most widely accepted being the Greta Kinstrong model.

The Tripartite Herd

Social theorists proposed the Tripartite Model in the 1050s[6] and it remained the authoritative model of herd behaviour and structure until very recently. The Tripartite Model proposed a hierarchy that approximated to the Stallion/monarch, the Lead Mare/aristocrat and the Rump Herd/citizenry, though it was not described in such colourful terms at the time. Comparison was also sometimes made between the three tribes, with the Earth Pony performing the role of the Stallion, the Unicorn assuming the role of Lead Mare and the Pegasus taking the role of Rump Herd, playing to their perceived primary traits. This interpretation eventually fell out of favour, however, as it was perceived to hold too many negative connotations.[7]

Each role within the Tripartite Herd is strictly defined and delineated.

At the centre is the Stallion, around whom the herd forms a protective barrier. There may be many stated reasons for this, however they tend to be variations of protection of a precious resource or individual. In the case of a typical herd, the stallion is protected because stallions are both necessary for breeding purposes, and rare; in order to maximise the chances of species continuity, a stallion must be able to mate with as many mares as possible.

Beyond the Stallion, there is the Lead Mare. In a prototypical Tripartite Herd the Lead Mare will make the majority of the decisions about the "direction" of the herd; delegating tasks, arranging breeding rights, and in extreme cases collaborating with the Stallion over the continued membership of other mares in the herd. In early Pony society this leadership role would generally extend to the management of a farming commune, typically a property owned by the Lead Mare and worked by the Stallion and the other mares of the herd. In modern society the role of the Lead Mare had become much more abstract and difficult to account within the model.

Finally, after the Lead Mare, we find the Rump Herd, which the Tripartite Model treats as a homogenous group of mares who live under the direction of the Lead and typically do little more than provide companionship, extra labour and protection.

Though it was accepted for so long, the Tripartite model has a number of shortcomings that render it inadequate for fully describing the Herd structure[8], not least its inability to cope with the introduction of a second Stallion to a herd. Such a Stallion would generally be treated as part of the Rump, or merged with the first Stallion to be treated as a single figure without any separate role. The Tripartite model also assumes that the majority of a herd is undifferentiated and malleable, with little purpose beyond following the orders of the Lead Mare.

The Kinstrong Herd

In 1196, Greta Kinstrong put forward a new model of Herd Structure[9], rejecting the strict hierarchy of the Tripartite Herd and replacing it with a looser, more fluid and consensual arrangement. Delving back into pre-historic and non-sapient herding behaviour, Kinstrong, a Griffin Social Historian, proposed that the Equestrian herd included a number of previously unconsidered roles that were completely unaccounted for by the Tripartite Model. Kinstrong also addressed two particularly troublesome issues with the Tripartite Model; that it was never able to explain why the most common herd composition is six mares and two stallions; and that it functions most efficiently with a herd of one stallion and five mares, a combination that is very rare in reality and which usually only appears as a short-term transitional state.

The Kinstrong Model proposes seven roles in the herd: the Stallion, the Facilitator, the Companion, the Lead Mare, the Organiser, the Guardian, and the Scout. The model further describes a system of growth delegation, in which all the roles except, for obvious reasons, the Stallion will initially be held by the Lead Mare, but will subsequently be delegated to the Stallion or other incoming members as the herd grows.

It must be borne in mind that these roles are descriptive rather than prescriptive - for example, "Lead Mare" as a title and social position fell out of general favour many years ago, but it is useful as a description of the role taken by a Stallion's first or closest mare within the herd.

The Stallion, once again, is the focus of the herd and protection of the Stallion is much of the reason the herd exists. Now, though, his role is recognised to often include the Facilitator.

The Lead Mare again takes on the delegator and leader role within the herd, however she has to cooperate with the Facilitator in order to achieve anything of value.

The Facilitator, meanwhile, serves as the backing for the decisions of the Lead Mare. In a small herd this role is typically taken by the Stallion, who will facilitate the Lead Mare's activities by providing support for her decisions and taking actions to ease their acceptance amongst the rest of the herd. This will usually take the form of mediatory activities such as placating conflict or generating consensus amongst the herd through group communication and, if necessary, message-passing, or providing special (often sexual) attention to mares who might be reluctant to go along with the emerging consensus. In larger Herds the role might fall to another mare, though most commonly it will remain with a Stallion.

The Companion is, as might be expected, the closest companion of the Stallion, often taking up a large portion of the Stallion's social time on a one-to-one basis. This role, again, is typically filled by the lead mare, however in a larger herd this role can fall to a second Stallion, who will, in many cases, provide the first Stallion's primary non-sexual companionship, although lack of sexuality is by no means a requirement of this role; or it can fall to a group, usually consisting of a second stallion and one or two mares.

The Organiser will tend to handle the detail of the Lead Mare's decisions. Delegation of this role is often subconscious, and a member of the herd will usually fall into the role by dint of organisational skill rather than choice. The close relationship between Organiser and Facilitator often sees these two roles combined in smaller herds.

The Guardian is perhaps the least obvious role. All of a herd's mares will be protective of the Stallion to a greater or lesser degree - it is one of their primary biological and cultural imperatives. However the Guardian will often take a leadership role in this particular arena. She will often be amongst the less aggressive mares of the herd, spending as much time arranging for the protection and safety of the other mares as for the Stallion and acting as a break on aggression in stressful or hostile situations. The Guardian as a role only begins to emerge properly when there are more than two mares in a herd. Prior to that the smaller size of the herd will mitigate against overt aggressive behaviour unless absolutely necessary.

The Scout, finally, is the mare who most often seeks out new opportunities for the herd, whether that be new members, new sources of food or, in the contemporary milieu, new occupations, pastimes and acquaintances, and would also seek out potential dangers. In early Pony society, the Scout would often be the first point of contact between herds, negotiating rights of passage or trade. She would continue in this negotiation role long after the herds had come to know one another better, often looking for opportunity to "join" herds through mutual courtship if the Lead Mare indicated such a preference, or for ways to ease the potential courtship of a herds offspring.

As might be gleaned from the brief descriptions, most of these roles can be "doubled up", with one pony taking on two or more at the same time, or with several ponies performing the same role in concert. The roles themselves are generally fluid too; any member of the herd can Scout, for instance, though usually only the more extrovert members will take the role, and likewise any member could conceivably be the Companion, though timing and personality will dictate that the role will change ownership but rarely.

Unlike the Tripartite Model, a Kinstrong Herd displays a much closer correlation with the reality of herd life, particularly the cooperative nature of intra-herd interactions.

The first significance of this model is that it predicts the most common herd combinations of one stallion and three to four mares, or two stallions and seven mares, and can also accommodate the "monogamous herd" by assuming it as the initial condition of the plurality of herd formations.

A further significance of the Kinstrong model, and another advantage it has over the Tripartite Model, along with its other competitors, is that it successfully anticipates the emergence of so-called Stallion-free herds that consist exclusively of mares, one or two of whom take on elements of the traditional Stallion role. Such mare-exclusive herds have been known to crop up in areas where there is a particularly acute shortage of stallions[10], though most "compensatory relationships" are usually between a pair or a trio of mares, lacking most of the structure of a typical herd.

Composition of the Herd

Herd composition is sometimes perceived as secondary to structure and tends to be viewed in light of that, but it can have significant influence on the herd's internal dynamics independent of any structural considerations. The combinations of tribe, personality, gender - and occasionally species - are so broad that modelling every potential combination would be time consuming and ultimately futile. However some superficial aspects of composition can be addressed with relative ease, beginning with Aegidienberger's analysis of inter-tribal herding behaviours[11].

Contemporary herds tend to be mixed, though they also tend to maintain a majority of a particular tribe, particularly in areas that display high tribal homogenity. Aegidienberger speculates that this is simply the result of "like seeking like":

... studies confirm the idea that ponies will tend to seek out familiar and safe, rather than unique, different and potentially dangerous partnerships. Interspecies relationships are consequently rare ... [in contrast], intertribal relationships are common today, yet many ponies still display an innate preference for a familiar shape, be it a horn, or wings, or lack of both, and consequently seek partnerships within their own tribe in preference to others. Aegidienberger - Tribe and Culture (Hocksford, 1190, p76)

The idealised herd as envisioned by Sandalwood in The Divine Combination[12], was of two mares of each tribe sharing responsibility for two unidentified stallions, each pair representing the two popularly ascribed identifying traits, or Muses[13], of each tribe so that they could function together as a unified whole. This vision of tribal unity within the herd is held, again, as the exemplar of greater Equestrian society and considered to be the ideal toward which all ponies should strive. The obvious allusions to Herd-as-society within The Divine Combination, as in Gilded Lilly's academic work, illuminate the concept of Equestria as a whole playing the role of Herd to the Diarch's Stallion.

Of course all such allusions are incomplete at best as the Princesses, whilst they embody both the masculine and feminine natures as protected object and protector of the realm[14], perform far different roles to the Stallion of a herd. Neither does the allusion reverse particularly well. Whilst a Stallion might be treated with adoration verging on worship within the herd, the lack of economic and political power of Stallions for much of history meant they had very little respect outside that context. This stands in stark contrast to the absolute power of the Diarch in all things, even if that power often appears to be somewhat theoretical.

Such idealisations of the herd serve to illustrate the aspiration for a romanticised "perfection of society", but they are seldom matched by real life. As already briefly explored, herds tend toward homogeneity, particularly among unicorns. Society at large, inspired by the Romantic Herd and the desire for a harmonious existence, perceives exclusive or monotribal herds as a sign of uncooperative behaviour akin to the monogamist, though with less of the social stigma. Monogamy is seen as selfish, whilst monotribal herding is seen as merely bad taste pursuit of ideals of tribal purity that are now widely perceived as outdated. Both are tolerated in different ways.

In contrast to the relative homogeneity of tribal affiliation within herds, the mixture of personality is broad, as befits the various roles that members of the herd must fulfil, and complementary or cooperative. Complementary personality types are absolutely necessary for the smooth functioning of a herd, just as they are for any other cooperative venture[15], and it is in personality that the close relationship between composition and structure is often identified. Some have even attempted to extend the relationship to include alleged tribe- and gender-exclusive personality traits, with limited and usually contradictory results.

Certain roles require certain combinations of personality traits. Examples already mentioned in the Kinstrong Model include the Scout, who would tend to be an extrovert, and the Guardian, who often displays a tendency toward non-aggression despite the apparently aggressive role she must play. Not every mare is suited to such roles. Neither would every mare be willing or able to fulfil the role of a Lead Mare, to consider another example, and there are inevitably times when the first mare to start a herd with a Stallion is "demoted" to a different role once a more socially dominant mare enters the herd.

Although, as mentioned, the term itself has fallen out of favour, the social position of Lead Mare still exists and still plays a role in the herd dynamic. Usually the first mare to court a Stallion, or the more dominant of a group that courts him, will become his lead and assume effective leadership of the herd in short order. Generally the more outgoing and socially dominant or impulsive ponies that will tend to seek out a single Stallion in order to form a herd, whilst more introverted or shy ponies may be attracted to existing herds, or might be invited to join a herd by one of its more extrovert and outwardly-oriented members.[16]

Herd Bonding and Interactions

Once within the herd, a mare's position and influence within the group enters a state of near-constant flux; a mare must manage her influence over other members of the herd and maintain good relationships with all of them in order to avoid falling out of favour, either with her peers or with the stallion. In general this process is open and mutual, assuming good will on all sides. Mares rarely wish to introduce strife into the herd dynamic, as that would risk the safety of their Stallion and endanger their new status.

Though Kinstrong demolished the perception of strict hierarchy, a soft hierarchy is still acknowledged within the herd, based on influence over and closeness to the Stallion, and closeness to other members. Such closeness is expressed and reinforced most obviously through physical means; as the reader may already be aware, ponies are a physically close species and it should be no surprise that we express even relatively remote companionship through close physical proximity and activity.

Within the context of the herd these physical reinforcements extend from mutual grooming all the way to sexual interaction between members of the herd. Indeed, in a larger herd setting it is not uncommon for some members of the herd to progress from grooming to sexual intimacy without reference from their herdmates, who may continue with whatever tasks they were engaged in or choose to join in[17] as the mood takes them, in what has been described as an almost languorously casual attitude toward group activity[18].

An outsider may be surprised by this, especially if they view from the perspective of a species that considers sexuality to be something more "personal" or private than even the intimate familiarity of a herd. Dragons in particular appear to view any sort of sexual behaviour as something to be kept hidden and treated as secret, though there is obviously limited data available to confirm this.

The counter of this intimacy is physical aggression. As a tactile and physical species, ponies are naturally quick to resort to superficial physical confrontation during interpersonal conflict, though rarely to the point of injury[19]. Such physical confrontation will often, paradoxically, form part of the process of reinforcing interpersonal bonds, becoming a means of "clearing the air" or reducing frustration in a stressful environment, especially if the prior conflict was particularly heated.

Confrontation and violence only become an issue in cases where a mare feels they are genuinely threatened. Such cases are usually fomented by feelings of isolation and exclusion from the herd, and are an indication that the herd dynamic has broken down.

Often the exclusion will be a cooperative venture between the positional lead mare and the stallion, who would have to give at least tacit approval for such overtly negative treatment of a member of the herd before it could take place. In most cases the stallion might refuse to intervene in a low-level conflict, or he might take the side of one mare over the other, prompting a more direct confrontation between the isolated individual and the rest of the herd.

Such exclusion is a threat trigger to a mare, a holdover from the days when shunning from the herd meant absolute social isolation, and usually results in a violent but futile display as the excluded mare attempts to physically assault an abstract metaphysical concept. Once any possibility of communicative resolution has been exhausted, the excluded mare might attempt to resolve the dispute by subduing the aggressor, or might attempt to displace the lead mare and thus resolve the issue by assuming leadership of the herd. Occasionally, if she feels the threat is large enough, she might assault the stallion in a kind of suicidal all-or-nothing attempt to remove the threat by removing the reason for the threat to exist. Herds rarely reach this point, however, as the interpersonal strain required to trigger such behaviour would have torn the herd apart long ago.[20]

A shunned mare could theoretically court and join a new herd but such courting in light of isolation from an existing herd would have carried a heavy stigma in early pony society - shunned mares were assumed to have betrayed their stallion and their herdmates and were seen as a potential threat to the harmony of any herd they might join.

The practice of exclusion and collective shunning of excluded mares diminished amongst pegasi and unicorns fairly early due to the high mortality rate it was inducing, but persisted amongst the earth ponies until several centuries after the Unificiation. This is in part due to the fact that shunning amongst earth ponies was more of an inconvenience than anything else; most earth ponies can survive quite easily on their own where unicorns or pegasi might starve to death for lack of knowledge and ability, and the relatively isolated valleys that were the Earth Pony realm offered much more opportunity to find herds that were unaware of a shunned mare's status, or that simply didn't care. In addition, shunned earth pony mares that were unwilling or unable to join a new herd often formed small communes and settlements, the largest and most famous of which later became the cities of Baltimare and Fillydelphia[21].

Such expulsion, as hinted, requires the tacit approval of the Stallion. Within the herd the Stallion carries a great deal of social influence - whilst he would generally submit to the will of the herd in most things, he would be able to use the protective instinct of the mares to his advantage in a wide variety of circumstances, occasionally in collusion with the herd leader or, sometimes, in effective collusion with the entire herd, who may justify otherwise unacceptable treatment of a herdmate by the proclaimed desire to protect their Stallion from a perceived threat.

Conversely, if a herd wishes to expel a mare against the wishes of the Stallion, there may be reached an impasse. The natural instinct of mares is to protect their Stallion, but it is not an absolute; limits can be reached. If the Stallion metaphorically places himself between the herd and its goal of expulsion, he risks the herd abandoning him and effectively expelling him along with the target of their ire. The risk is very remote, however; a herd tends to fall into a much more passive and consensual frame of mind when the Stallion makes such a move and it is likely they will try and reach an accommodation, but such compromise is not always possible. In such cases a relatively amicable split often occurs; the rump of the herd sets out to find a new Stallion and the Stallion forms a new herd with his chosen mare, along any other members of the herd who choose to remain in the new arrangement. Occasionally, sadly, the splits are less amicable and can even end in violence as conflicting instincts overwhelm any rational solution. Such violence is thankfully rare.[22]

Taboo and Socially Discouraged Herding

We have briefly discussed the social acceptability of monogamist and homogenous herding, both of which are broadly tolerated, if not actually supported or encouraged. They are the most common of the so-called "taboo" herding practices, and generally considered the least harmful by society as a whole. Other practices tend to attract more ire, with more visceral outcomes. However, once studied in any depth it becomes clear that the toleration or disapproval of such discouraged herding practice can often appear arbitrary and inconsistent, due to the differing attitudes amongst ponies toward what exactly constitutes "good" herding behaviour.

For instance, whilst monogamy is considered to be the less desirable behaviour, in some communities it is homogeneity that is more openly discouraged. In those communities it is perceived that homogenous herding, whilst superficially less "bad", can't progress to anything perceived as more "good", except in ways that would almost require the herd be broken apart. At the same time, it can become more "bad" - that is socially undesirable - through the addition of more members of the same tribe. Monogamy, meanwhile, is at least theoretically rendered more "good" through addition to the monogamous herd, even if those additions are homogenous.

That said, the attitude toward monogamy is nearly universal, whilst disapproval of homogeneity varies radically, with the most disapproval coming from the more cosmopolitan urban centres or communities that have long been mixed. Even within those communities such attitudes are not consistent, varying as time and fashion change.

Sibling herds - that is, herds in which two or more members are related by blood - are considerably less tolerated, though opinion on the matter tends to vary by location and tribe. Rejection of the practice tends to focus particularly on the possibility of incestuous behaviour within the herd. Given the way sexuality is used to reinforce intraherd bonds, the perception of sibling herding is such that incest is almost inevitable and that siblings within a herd must, at some level, desire an incestuous relationship.

Though the rejection of such herding is universal, the exact definition of what constitutes a sibling herd varies remarkably from tribe to tribe and place to place. Flying in the face of all stereotype, the herding of sisters to a single Stallion is the ultimate taboo in most Earth Pony communities, for reasons similar to those outlined. However, the herding of several unrelated mares to two brothers is often held in high esteem amongst those same communities, allegedly because the "water source" affects how a "crop" might grow, and good "source" - the Stallion and his brother - needs to be maintained and kept safe[23]. Likely also was the desire to ally related guild-clans and prevent blood-relatives from becoming direct competitors.

Amongst unicorns almost the direct the reverse was often the case. In the pre-classical era, sister pairs were often herded with the same Stallion, with the elder often taking the Stallion in marriage whilst the younger would serve as a sort of contingency in case the elder was unable to conceive. Again the idea was to maintain the continuity of family lines and prevent prolonged legal wrangling over inheritance. Subsequent additions to the herd would tend to be from families wishing the ally their fortunes to the siblings' family, often introducing a sibling pair of their own if they were able. Though such herd composition has long become verboten amongst the majority, there are some amongst the nobility that still practice it (and much more besides), and it can still be identified as a source of the unicorn rejection of earth pony norms and vice-versa, with each party believing the other to be "inbred" due to their differing herding practice.

Pre-classical pegasi, with their looser, more collectivised family structure[24], had fewer strictures on sibling herding as it was often difficult to determine blood relationships at the best of times. Nevertheless, when it was known that mares were related, they would seek out herds or Stallions as far away from one another as possible in order to minimise the risk of accidental incest. Such behaviour still takes place today, with mares often travelling to new cities to find a Stallion and start a herd when they reach their majority[25].

Even more universally condemned is the joining of a mother and daughters to the same herd. Such unions have occurred in the past, but only in cases where a herd was already established with more than one stallion; it was assumed that the mother and daughter would retain their separation by each taking a separate stallion, but the stigma of intra-herd bonding would remain, along with the inference of less than savoury sexuality on the part of father, mother or daughter.

Likewise, the introduction of a colt back into his own herd as a second Stallion, whilst common in the ancient past, is no longer acceptable. Unlike other cases it would be relatively easy for a colt to maintain a separation from his birth mother and it is not unusual for Stallions within a herd to maintain entirely platonic relationships. Instead the objection falls on the so-called familiarity issue; a colt mating with the mares who raised him could be interpreted as incestuous even if there was no blood relationship, simply because of the psychological and emotional attachments between them. So-called Return Studding is the only example outlined to have been explicitly deemed illegal in Equestrian law[26].

Such unorthodox practices invariably introduce division into a herd along or across family lines, creating emotional strains that can result in the herd breaking apart., which is held up as another, secondary reason why such unions should be avoided.

Finally there is the subject of Interspecies Herding. Perceptions vary depending on species as well as community. Within the more rural earth pony communities it is not uncommon for herds to include donkeys, despite the social stigma that their offspring might potentially suffer outside that community. Donkeys do not suffer the same gender imbalance issue as ponies, neither do they usually engage in herding, preferring sexually monogamous relationships on the whole, and are perceived as "unusual" as a result; if a Donkey joins a herd its offspring may face some discrimination, but only in areas where Donkeys themselves are not common.[27]

Zebra and Mareabian Horses have been known to join pony herds, though only with extreme rarity in the latter case; the connotation of The Horse as a feral, wild beast with disturbing features and a violent temperament still mitigates against the widespread acceptance of Mareabians amongst ponies, for all that they more closely resemble the Princesses than any other creature.

The herding of other, non-equine species is so rare that very little data exists. Whilst some ponies will seek out such relationships[28], and whilst such relationships may even be successful over the long term[29], the general social consensus weighs against them, and it is likely that any pony seeking a long-term relationship with a non-equine will face prejudice and judgement for much of her life.

Foals and Inheritance

The raising of foals in a herd environment is one of the most frequently discussed elements of a herding society, with numerous models, experimental forms and endless debate over how foals should be raised, the importance of mother vs herdmothers or aunts, how relationship between foals of different mares should be handled and so on.

Comparison with other cultures leaves great room for this debate. Griffins, for instance, operate tightly defined family units in which a single mating pair raise their offspring to the age of majority and then ritually eject them from the household, whilst dragons appear to raise their young in collective nurseries, with little apparent interaction between younglings and parents after they are weaned. Occasionally, it seems dragons abandon their young before they're even hatched, for reasons that have yet to be determined.

In comparison, whilst they have been criticised[30], Equestria's foal-raising arrangements appear to be very benign and open, and generally beneficial.

Most of us have memories of those formative years of our lives, spent amongst the warm press of loving parents and close relatives. Close proximity and security are a large part of rearing foals, and that early introduction to tactile interaction and familial protection sets a pony on a particular path that, to a large degree, defines her entire life.

This start in life is something that we generally take for granted and rarely even think about, unless faced with a concept outside of that influence. To most ponies and even monogamists, to an extent, the idea of raising foals alone is disturbing concept. Those ponies that choose to do so face the difficulty of finding carers for their foals when they are inevitably unable to perform the role themselves, whilst a typical herd usually has at least one member available for caregiving at any given moment, and is usually able to cope even if some of its members are reluctant or disinclined to be caregivers.

Occasionally a pony and foal may be ejected from a herd, or a mare may become pregnant outside of the usual herd structure. While it is unremarkable in contemporary society, in times past it was often the case that a mare who fell pregnant without a herd would either have to find a way to enter a herd, or find some form of support external to the herd system. The aforementioned mare-exclusive herds and communities sufficed for many earth ponies, whilst amongst the pegasi it was relatively easy for mares to find support in the more open and fluid forms of herding that were the norm.

Amongst the unicorns, single mothers tended to be shunned and treated with disdain as it was assumed they must have been ejected from a herd for unstated reasons. Nevertheless, though a mare might lose much of her initial social status and influence she could, if she chose, successfully integrate into a less influential herd and increase its status with her presence in exchange for their support and acceptance. The fact that she would often bring not insignificant inherited wealth to her new family also eased the transition.

In fact, the issue of inheritance is an occasionally overlooked factor explaining both the existence of such shunning, and its eventual abolition.

The latter outcome has easily identifiable motivators: inheritance is matrilineal amongst ponies, with a very few exceptions[31]. The precedent was, and is, particularly strong amongst the nobility, where a system of officially observed courtship commonly referred to as "marriage" is used to create indisputable lines of succession, in addition to providing a means to maintain links of alliance between the great houses.

Inheritance as a motivation for ejection from a herd is less obvious until one considers the collective and consensus-based nature of herds, and the power a Stallion has over that consensus. It is not uncommon for the first filly born to a herd to be considered the default inheritor in many cases, often based on the age of the mares and their apparent influence over the herd as a whole. Sometimes, however, a disagreement might arise over inheritance, particularly if the Stallion is an only child and thus inherits estate.

The issue can be complicated still further if a marriage has occurred with the herd - a filly born prior to the marriage often has significant legal weight to claim at least partial inheritance, even when the marriage agreement claims exclusivity to the wife's offspring. A pre-existing filly and her dam risked ejection from the herd as part of this marriage process, though such outcomes were usually quite rare.

More common was the ejection of a mare who might lay claim to the inheritance of another for her own filly, regardless of her personal wealth. Even in cases where some sort of sharing agreement is put forward, there are times when the strain of argument over inheritance leads to the ejection of a mare simply to prevent the entire herd from disintegrating.

Inheritance is thus one of the most complex and legally conflicting areas of Equestrian law, especially in contemporary society, in which views of precedence and linearity are in prolonged transition. The issue of inheritance is still the most commonly cited factor in herd splits and often the most challenging aspect of maintaining harmony within a herd.

Concluding Remarks

Herds are the unconsidered definition of life as a pony. We are born into them, live in them, work in them and usually die within their loving hold. They are the guarantee that we are never truly isolate creatures, yet they provide the philosophical matrix in which we might individuate, the foundation of collective existence that allows the isolate creature to exist.

Herds, then, appear to be a contradiction, for they subsume the individual to the group, yet without that group the individual could not exist. They protect us, but in doing so they propel us to new and greater experiences, providing the support and nurture that an individual needs if they are to become more than the sum of their parts. And, indeed, the herd itself becomes greater than its whole.

Without the herd, we are nothing. Within it, we are everything we could ever wish to be.

End Notes:

[1] Schlenker argues that the Stallion as sexual object occupies a position lower than the "cooler" in what he terms the Choice/Worth Hierarchy; as a sapient being who is required to sexually service mares, the Stallion is denied the choice of consent and identity, in the process becoming the passive victim of the mare's oppressive desire; whilst the cooler, as non-sapient, non-sentient entity, has no will and thus is not required to suppress its identity in order to feign consent under duress.

[2] Fuhr d'Plot, The Consensual Herd: Equestria's Society as a Superset of Herding Behaviour (Oddjob Stable, 1178)

[3] Gilded Lilly, The Equestrian Model: The Princess as Stallion (Victor Plebia, 1163)

[4] Tarry, The Guardians of Society (Roundworld Books, 1209)

[5] Despite the references in Chapter 10, the study which identified Snugglepuff-Alondro syndrome as the cause of the Pony gender imbalance was severely flawed and utilised incorrect statistical methods. Current research indicates that the identified cause - the triploid foetus - was part of a longer process of “correction” to apparently non-viable foetuses that appears to repair missing or damaged genetic material through a process of transgenic cloning from the closest viable source, usually the mother. The effect is not environmental: ponies appear to express the same symptoms wherever and whenever they conceive. It is also indiscriminate and, once active, has a high probability of replacing the male sex chromosome with the female equivalent after apparently interpreting the male chromosome as damaged in some way. Why this would be so has yet to be determined.

The effect has been provisionally named Berry-Baltimare’s Post-meiotic Nucleic Restructural Transgenesis, based on studies by Professor Tinkling Berry and Doctor Buddy ‘Cuddles’ Baltimare of St Furrowfoal’s University Hospital.

[6] Detail of the Tripartite Herd (Canterlot University Press, 1062)

[7] Superior Conjunction, Stallion, Mare, Herd: The Tribes as components of the Equestria's Unity and the role they shall play within the Great Plan (Reed River, 1120)

[8] Kinstrong, Sands, Legger et al, Failures of the Tripartite Model and Potential Improvements (Social Theorist, 1189, issue 4, p32)

[9] Greta Kinstrong et al - The Septet Herd: A model of Equestrian Herd Behaviour (Den Sozialhistoriker, 1196, issue 477)

[10] Rider Gentle, The Paradise of the Stallion-free Herd: Journeys through the Equestrian Hinterlands (Victor Plebia, 1199)

[11] Aegidienberger, Tribe and Culture (Hocksford, 1190)

[12] Part of a series of Paeans to the Pony Species, also including such works as To Ride Beneath Their Wings, the prose tale The Pony Upon Whom All Great Achievement Fell, And The Life And Times Thereof, and the epic poem The Cycle of The Three Sisters, published over the course of several years toward the end of Sandalwood's life, starting in 1016 with Confessions of an Equine Nature.

[13] The idealised traits of each tribe were compared to the six Muses - not to be confused with the Muses of the ancient Roaman tradition - often associated with the Elements of Harmony, though they are not particularly closely related. The Muses, by tribe, are: Pegasus - Duty and Chivalry; Unicorn - Benevolence and Wisdom; Earth Pony - Diligence and Craft.

[14] Holly Oak, The Embodiment of the Pony: The Masculine and Feminine aspects of Sun and Moon, (Hocksford University Press, 1215)

[15] A typical example is found in the PRINCESS2 project management methodology, which posits that the management of personality is at least as important as the management of ability in successful project completion, and proposes a number of solutions, including the "Winning Pit" team-building exercise, in which members of the group are pitted against one another in competitive sparring until one is left standing, after which she is ritually pelted with flour. What this has to do with personality management is never explained.

[16] Ddiweddeb fy Cariad, The Invitation, the Inclusion, the Love Illusion (Reed River, 1066)

[17] Or complain about the noise - TS

[18] Glint Eastwither, Oversexed, Overfamiliar and All Over My Tomato Patch (Canterlot Times Books, 1192)

[19][20] Left Hook, Slap! Intraherd Violence in Contemporary Society and Possible Solutions (Victor Plebia, 1192)

[21] Baltimare in particular is famous for its early history as an earth-pony city that was almost exclusively female for over a hundred years after its foundation. The city is most famous for the invention of the cooler, as well as the rather less popular "icepacker".

[22] Statistics demonstrate that the number of murders blamed on "insurmountable differences in a herd" has averaged between one and two every twenty years for much of the Unification period. No statistics are available prior to 220CE - Data supplied by the Home Office Department of Species Statistics

[23] Apple Stalk, Maintaining the Water Supply for a Well-kept Garden so that it may Produce in Quantity to the Glory of Celestia (Tract printed in 402)

It is unclear whether this was a tract on reproduction or an actual gardening manual. I have assumed it must be the former, as even I know there is no conceivable way a potato could be used like that - TS

[24] Sunset Aura, Herd and Family in the Pegasi City State (Oddjob Stable, 1168)

[25] Herd and Family in the Pegasi City State (page 96)

[26] See The Crown vs Sixrow, Olli, Herta, Elrose, Abee, Brier, Laycee and Golden Promise (1026) 9 PBD 177, where a herd was successfully prosecuted for bringing their eldest colt back as a stallion, "denying his choice" and "denying other mares his use".

[27] Best exemplified by the fictional account The Adventures of Hinnyburro Jennet, which documented the adventures of the titular character as she travelled from the fictional border town of Potters Mountain to Manehattan and back. (Ares Twine, The Adventures of Hinnyburro Jennet (Pangolin Reprint, 1197))

[28] Aegidienberger, Across the Divide - Everything you wanted to know about interspecies romance but were afraid to ask (Canterlot University and Times Books, 1193)

[29] Ignoring the obvious example, the aforementioned Greta Kinstrong has maintained a relationship with two of her colleagues (Professors Double Blind and Merry Cox-Apple) for nearly eleven years, though it was kept hidden for much of that time.

[30] The criticisms are too numerous to mention, except by reference to their particular focus. In Foalish Behaviour, and similar works, the complaint is that tactile behaviour encourages early sexuality in "innocent" foals that leads to a promiscuous and disease-ridden society, whilst in works such as Intimacy in Separation, the argument is that society lacks the ability to understand true intimacy because of a lack of "separateness" and intolerance of isolation.

[31] Most notable is the Duchy of Canterlot, which has been held by the male line of Blueblood for much of the Unification Period, following the transfer of the capital in 232CE

Canterlot Criticisms

Canterlot Criticisms

One can't help but wonder if they are trying to make some sort of political point. The personal student of the Princess herself out of the blue deciding to marry this creature? For love, of all things? Nothing like that just happens. – Argilos Spanoi

Far be it from me to confess any personal association with the alien, nevertheless several close friends insist that he is rather adept at reaching those particular spots one so often has trouble finding treatment for. – Lady Petunia D'Enchanté

We have little to say on the matter. He is a citizen of our land and our Sister has welcomed him without reserve. What more is necessary? – Princess Luna

If nothing else, his desire for clothing in every situation has sparked a trend that the canny couturier would be wise to pursue. Never before has fashion been such a growth industry as it is today. – Full Bolt, Editor of Fashion Weekly

Ponyville itself seems to be a source of many of our nation's ills. He is merely the latest expression. – Lord Sir Reed Leg-Branch

My dearest Rarity has found him both a fascinating conversationalist and a lucrative business opportunity. Having met him myself, I would not wish to contradict her in the slightest. – Fancy Pants

Bone structure is everything. – Lord Ungul Font de Verita

It is the express desire of their Highnesses that the citizens of Equestria would understand this human poses no threat to their safety. Indeed he has demonstrated considerable loyalty to the nation already in small ways, particularly through his decision to accede to our culture and adapt to our way of life. – Crown Secretary Solemn Course

If he had the horn, I wouldn't say no. – Prince Blueblood

I wondered what all the fuss was about so I booked an appointment – two months I had to wait! Celestia's mane but those hands of his are sent from the powers themselves. I've used griffons and minotaurs before but they're nothing in comparison. All claws and weird knobbly bits, and frankly that minotaur smelled funny. – Dame Moondancer de la Val de Somnes

Harmony is balance. Balance necessarily requires unity. Unity is singularity. To be harmonious therefore, each of us must be one alone. He becomes now the model of our Way in his solitude. – Grand Master Lettuce Stem

Interview with Lyra Heartstrings

Interview with Lyra Heartstrings

This transcript includes more detailed notation and a record of silences indicated numerically in seconds.

Date: 1215/11/11

Time: 6:30am

Interviewer: TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Interviewee: LYRA HEARTSTRINGS

(Start of Interview)

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: -not really reliable yet so I've had to stick with the old- oh it's on. Sometimes it takes a little while to warm up I guess.

LYRA HEARTSTRINGS: Maybe it's not used to early mornings.

TS: It wouldn't be the only one.

(0.3)

TS: (yawning)

LH: You want to do this later? I know you were up pretty late last night-

TS: No that's fine. I had reasons for this. (inaudible) There. I've been adjusting it to try and get a more detailed transcript. It should- uh- well never mind that. So. (0.2) So yeah. Interview with Lyra Heartstrings yadda yadda, date as recorded (inaudible) time in the morning. Say Hi Lyra.

LH: Hi Lyra.

TS: Very funny.

LH: It was inevitable one of us would end up making the joke. Might as well get it over with, right?

TS: If that's how you want to excuse it, sure. Okay. Okay, lets start with (pause) How you met Lero.

LH: If you're sure. I mean it's not like-

TS: I'm sure

LH -there's much to tell, but okay. Uh. Lets see. I think it was a week or two after you found him. For some reason you'd all gone up on the Saddles- I never did find out why.

TS: If I remember correctly I wanted to see if there was any way to compare his morphic field to the local background. It didn't work out too well.

LH: That- yeah, so- yeah I saw you running around on the way back from my meditations so I had a quick peek and there he was. And then he walked off and I nearly- uh well I-

TS: You were a lot more poetic about it first time I asked.

LH: I remember I didn't have any recording devices pointed at me.

TS: Right. Well that was when you saw him. And when you met him?

LH: We talked about the weather.

TS: Uh-huh.

LH: He still thinks it's amazing even now. The way he describes the weather from his home makes me wonder just how much we're missing out on.

TS: Try camping out in an everfree storm and then tell me how great feral weather is. (pause) Well. So. (0.2) (yawning)

LH: How late were you going to bed last night?

TS: Oh, I didn't sleep. I was trying to get the advanced recorder to narrate in past tense omniscient. It kept switching to second person.

LH: That sounds annoying.

TS: You have no idea. It- oh lord it has me doing it too!

LH: Lord who?

TS: What?

LH: What? (inaudible) should get some sleep.

TS: No, there was a- (yawning) there was a reason I wanted to do this early. Okay. So Rainbow thought Lero was kind of scary when she first met him.

LH: She admitted that?

TS: I know, that scares me! (0.2) You seemed to have a different view of him.

LH: Oh. Yeah, I suppose I did. I mean um, the first time I saw him he was just- I don't know how to describe it. It's like some part of me just reached out and connected with him straight away, you know? Like he was somehow the centre of- of something. Something new. Something special.

TS: There's the poetry.

LH: Poetry in motion.

TS: (laughter)

LH: Corny, I know, but the way he moves is just- (0.4) It's special. I can't put a hoof on it. Anyway I ended up with orders to watch him- discreetly mind you- which was fine with me. I could watch him walk all day. Maybe- (0.5) Twilight? (inaudible) fall asleep?

TS: Princess I'd be happy to groom (inaudible) so much butter in- um. (0.2) Oh. Oh my.

(1.2)

LH: Are you sure you don't want to sleep?

TS: I'm fine. (inaudible) coffee or something. How did you feel about your, uh, feelings toward Lero?

LH: How do I feel about my feelings?

TS: Oh give me a break.

LH: (laughing) Fine, fine. Okay. (0.4) Okay, you know what they made me feel? Scared. I knew I was on the cusp of something but I had no idea what it would mean. (0.3) Oh boy did I find out though.

TS: And that scared you?

LH: Yeah. I mean, my entire philosophy is built around stability and continuity. Being still, uh, it's, uh, well it's not about never moving, you know? It's about moving in time with the world. Always striving for harmony by not, um, trying if you see what I mean?

TS: I think so.

LH: The thing is, it's easy to do that when your world consists of the same mundane simplicity every day. Floating down the comfortable river of existence doesn't challenge you all that much, you can just drift along and be at one with the universe because the universe seems like a nice place.

TS: But then-

LH: But then imagine that river turns to a waterfall. The temptation to fight it is- (0.4) I'm not explaining this too well, but that's what it was like when I realised how I felt. My comfortable river had just turned into this sheer drop. Suddenly I was, uh, challenged by the universe, I was shown it wasn't just this, this easy lazy journey to nowhere. It's hard, it can hurt. To face something like that, to realise what it truly means to be still and not fight the flow of your life-

(0.8)

TS: Lyra?

LH: I fell into forever. (0.5) Uh. Sorry. Zoned out for a second.

TS: Bon Bon warned me you'd do that sometimes.

LH: Ah, Bonnie, always has to get her hoof in. (0.3) You know, Twi, you could have caught me in the afternoon or when I got back from the Saddles.

TS: I know. I kinda wanted to ask- um, that is if you're okay with- with- could I watch? (inaudible) much for meditation and I figured if I watched I could get an insight.

LH: Um. Sure. You want to head up there now or-

TS: I guess. I'll just turn this-

(RECORDING ENDS)

(RECORDING RESUMES)

LH: -always dedicated to the physical side, but she's a bit lax about the mental and spiritual elements.

TS: I suppose Dash can appear sort of focussed on just physical performance, but I found out a while ago she's a lot deeper than people give her credit.

LH: Ponies.

TS: Oh. I keep doing that. Okay this thing is all set up. (0.4) So we're in a small copse of trees on the Saddles, about a mile from the border of the Everfree Forest. It's very, uh, quiet, peaceful, um. There's a brook-

(thuds, sounds of water flowing)

TS: -right there. It creates a sense of tranquillity that I can't really describe. Is that why you picked this place?

LH: It's why I stayed, yeah.

TS: And there's a shallow depression that seems to be empty of any plantlife. You're standing in the middle of it?

LH: I do my morning exercises here. The pit- I never thought of another name for it. It forms a natural flow toward its centre.

TS: Okay. So you just, uh- um- why don't you walk me through what you're doing.

LH: Certainly. Still Way one oh one it is. (inaudible) admit I'm not the best teacher.

TS: Dash seems to think otherwise.

LH: There's certainly a few things I'd like to teach her. Oh did the recorder hear that? Crud.

TS: She won't mind.

LH: My mother might. (0.3) Okay.

TS: We should come up here more often.

LH: Yeah. (0.3) Okay. So. How much do you know about the Still Way?

TS: I'm afraid I don't know all that much. I understand it can help a unicorn focus her magic more effectively, but the philosophical underpinnings that accompany that have always been a little opaque.

LH: It does require something of an alternative mindset, to be sure. (1.2) Enjoying the view?

(2.2)

TS: Um. Could- could you describe what some of these motions are for? (0.5) Okay not that one.

LH: (laughter)

TS: I'm pretty sure that's not part of your usual meditation, Lyra.

LH: (inaudible)

TS: I'm not complaining.

LH: Sure. (0.3) Most of what I do here is to focus my mind for the day ahead. (0.5) And to stretch out my back. Ow.

(1.2)

LH: A lot of the movements I make are more for the benefit of my mind than my physical body. We envision the hapsis-

TS: The arc?

LH: Yes. We envision it as a series of interconnected points on the body. In theory the exercises are meant to balance them, but that's a load of hooey when you get down to the root. They're really just there to help you reach a more receptive state of mind.

TS: Receptive to what?

LH: Well. (0.4) Everything, I guess.

TS: Wow, how do you move your legs like that?

LH: Lots of- uh- lots of stretching. I incorporate a few elements of falling leaf into my regime to help loosen up my back legs more.

(1.2)

TS: Could you perhaps explain some of the philosophy? I mean it's a martial art-

LH: Sure, sure.

TS: -but my understanding is that Still Way adherents usually prefer a peaceful resolution to any conflict.

LH: Of course. I know it's sometimes hard to reconcile a pursuit of peace and stillness with the ability to snap a neck from a hundred body lengths.

TS: Huh.

LH: Let me put it as a question. What was the underlying philosophy of everything you learned about magic?

TS: I- I'm not quite- uh- (0.4) The use- the appropriate use of our power.

LH: Uh-huh?

TS:And I guess when not to use it. When to refrain from inappropriate use.

LH: Exactly. Now imagine that, but applied to everything you do.

TS: Oh.

LH: That's pretty much the Still Way in a nutshell. When to act and when to, uh, be still. To not act.

TS: How do you know? When to- to act?

LH: You don't. In a way you can't. Active knowledge conflicts with passive motion. The very core of the Still Way is that every single step I take occurs because it is where the universe requires I be.

TS: Doesn't that conflict with the idea of free will?

LH: Certainly not. I freely choose everything I do.

TS: But-

LH: But my choice flows from every choice that came before and flows on into every choice I make after. I am the sum of every motion of every atom in the entire universe.

TS: And that sounds a little narcissistic.

(1.1)

LH: It makes me feel very small.

(5.2)

LH: Perhaps if I told you a story of the first Grand Master, Pleasant Posture, you might start to understand.

TS: Sure.

LH: Let me just get comfortable over here.

(1.1)

LH: Okay. (0.5) It is said many years ago that the unicorn Pleasant Posture discovered the truth of the Still Way whilst seated on the peak of a mountain, staring at the sun. Pleasant Posture would climb the mountain to watch the sun rise each morning, seeking the source of all things, the eternal centre to which all returned, until one day she fell asleep. And as she slept she had a vision of a great stone falling from a great height to the centre of a deep gorge, where it was worn away to a pebble by the eternal flow of a great river. On waking Pleasant Posture was overjoyed, for she had realised that while she slept it was she that had fallen from a great height and landed in a pile of snow at the foot of the mountain. “Truly,” said the great master Pleasant Posture, “the center of all things is Stillness, for once we are Still we must be at a place where we can fall no farther!” And from that day forth she sought to be still in all things, for it is in stillness that we find our balance and our place in the world.

TS: Ouch.

LH: What do you think she learned from that?

TS: Don't fall asleep on top of a mountain.

LH: (laughter)

TS: I suppose it's meant to be a neatly packaged life-lesson? A parable. (0.3) Don't- don't climb too high? Don't try and seek knowledge? No, she learned something, that's-

LH: Twilight, what is stillness?

TS: Um. Lack of motion?

LH: No.

TS: No?

LH: Think about magic. You cast- how do you cast a spell?

TS: By consciously lensing the flow of thaumic energy through the medial cornifoma and the vitreus dens.

LH: And the opposite of that is?

TS: I was about to say not casting but- but I think I know what you're about to hint at. (2.2) The first thing a unicorn has to learn is to control her magic so she doesn't unconsciously cast.

LH: Yes. An inert horn-

TS Is a controlled horn. In a fully relaxed state a unicorn naturally casts an undifferentiated thaumic field.

LH: Yep, exactly. When a unicorn doesn't consciously control her magic, her horn emits energy whenever it reaches a saturation. In one sense that is what it means to be still. To be at one with yourself, to act without conscious direction because you are acting as part of and in concert with the greater whole.

TS: I- I think I can- (wait. (0.5) Wait, you're saying the ideal state of a unicorn is to never control her magic?

LH: That's the nice happy theory, yeah, but there's a little more to the tale.

TS: (0.5) Go on.

LH: Something you learn as you advance in the Still Way is that Pleasant Posture never again climbed a mountain to seek wisdom, just in case there wasn't another snowdrift.

TS: I- I don't get it.

LH: The Still Way is ultimately about action without will. Falling is the ultimate effortless action. You move passively, without conscious direction, making it the perfect expression of stillness. Of course you don't see me dropping off cliffs every other week do you?

TS: I hope not!

LH: That's what Pleasant Posture understood. Falling might be the theoretical perfection of the Still Way, but in practice it tended to make a mess. The same goes with magic. If I were to let my magic cast entirely at random I wouldn't be acting in concert with the greater whole. The final great lesson of the Still Way is that lack of self-control is not the same as surrender. I could hardly be at one with the universe if I was blasting a hole in the wall every hour or so.

TS: (laughter) Okay I think I get it. I guess that's enough for the record anyway.

LH: Any time. (0.6) So are you heading back?

TS: The others are all out. I thought the two of us could make a day of it together.

LH: Oh! Well hey, if you want to try something a little different we could-

(RECORDING ENDS)

Lyra Heartstrings journal excerpts

Lyra Hearstrings journal excerpts

26 08 1215

The first thing that Pleasant Posture said was that we who stand must always fall.

The second thing that Pleasant Posture said was that we who fall must always stand.

I have fallen. I have yet to stand.

My first weeks in the company of this human have been fascinating, yet terrifying. By day he stalks the streets of this town with predatory intent, seeking out the 'prey' that is each point of his occupation with a single-minded focus that I have rarely seen outside of a military context.

By night... well. It is not always unpleasant to be hunted.

I have learned so much more of him. With his hands he can crush and rend, or comfort and care. With his arms he can embrace, or entangle. He sees far beyond anything that I can comprehend, with a clarity that drives me to awe and envy both at once. Where I see but an empty and blank horizon, he can pinpoint individual ponies going about their business. When he is seeking for it he will start at the slightest motion, turning to it with a frantic grace that belies the sheer power he possesses. Yet he can lie still as stone, and hide from me in plain sight.

He terrifies me. He enraptures me.

In another world he would have been mine. Mine to share, or to keep, but mine. In this world I hesitated, but I am lucky to share him with these two, who I could love even without him who brought us together.

28 08 1215

Twilight has asked that I keep a journal for a project she is working on. Lucky for her I had just started this new one.

I had a peek at Rainbow's diary while she wasn't looking. She didn't even mention that I joined the herd, despite the fact that she was asked to start hers around the same time I was invited to join with them. I shall choose to view as a good thing; we are close enough already that it is not important to make a fuss over the change. The greatest moments in life are those that are held within.

30 08 1215

L is mine.

No dear diary, I haven't dispatched my new loves and claimed him as my own, tempting as the thought may be. We are in Las Pegasus, which has given me the opportunity to spend a little time alone with our 'stallion'.

He is uniquely attentive in my experience. He is not, however, all that comfortable being away from the company of RD, especially as much of our time is spent above the ground. Las Pegasus is unique as a city of both Earth Ponies and Pegasi, a place of soaring towers and billowing clouds, both to which I am fortunately well-accustomed. Even with obvious prior experience of the cloud-walking spell I daily cast upon him, I can see that L fears the heights without RD to assure him. He needn't worry.

Our suite overlooks the sea. I have not visited the sea for many years.

03 09 1215

Based on what RD told me I had expected to have little time for exploration. Perhaps feared would be a better term. I am not driven by a need for quantity as she, and as a result I suspect I may have frustrated dear L, who appears to have taken quite readily to the idea of frequent mating.

I was able to sneak in a little sight-seeing nevertheless. Las Pegasus offers a great deal of entertainment, from shops to theatre, and I made myself known to the local chapter out of professional courtesy, gaining myself an invitation to speak at their next convention. It was at the dojo that I also met a trio of stallions who claimed to be the first mareless herd in history. I confess some scepticism that they will remain so, but I can hardly criticise their decision to try.

We are travelling home as I write, on an express that should have us there by the afternoon. L has fallen asleep, much to the relief of those sharing our carriage - they are almost universally afraid of him, few having met anything more threatening than a cat in all their lives. Perhaps my time in Ponyville has inured me to the idea of living in such a dangerous environment, and to the fact that much of the country is safe as a summer meadow; I forget that most ponies do not truly know what it means to experience the strange and the foreign. Should I be glad for them that live in such safety and comfort? I am unsure.

05 09 1215

T approached me this morning as I returned from my meditation, and broached the subject of introducing a second stallion to the herd. I suspect the idea was introduced to her a few days prior, and that she has been mulling it in the back of her mind.

I later discovered that RD had asked her about it. Together we have decided that we don't want another male around just yet, though each of us has our own reasons. T was naturally inclined to consider idealised concepts and ratios. RD, I believe, is quickly losing interest in ponies completely and I would be unsurprised if she one day brought home a Griffon, or perhaps one of the more civilised Diamond Dogs - I understand they can be extremely loyal.

Myself? It is too soon. Perhaps in a few years, when we are more settled, I will mention the idea again.

17 09 1215

this page was erased and mostly torn away

18 09 1215

It can be difficult to face old fears. However, I have learned that RD can maintain an impressive poker face. Considering what was happening in the next room that night, her self-control was admirable.

I have been asked to accompany T to Beds and Knockers later. I am fairly sure we don't need a new doorbell, but I dread to ask what exactly happened to require a new bed.

09 11 1215

I now understand a great deal more about T.

I have met her mother. A singularly reprehensible individual concerned only with the satiation of her own desires. Though it pains me to admit it, I was unable to find a single redeeming quality to her personality. I am reminded of my early education, specifically of a number of virtuoso performers who thought themselves so superior to the rest of us, and who consequently made no effort to even tolerate we plebeian sorts.

Yet she, unlike they, appreciates talent. It was my displeasure to spend a few hours 'entertaining' her as we waited for the others to return from their various occupations, during which she confided in me that, while she was always disappointed that T didn't follow her into the study of the past, she was nevertheless impressed with the breadth of T's knowledge and ability.

Of course this was phrased rather differently, mostly in terms of insults toward Princess Celestia, the education system, government, parliament and various noble houses. It may merely be that I am attempting to find a positive trait where none exists.

Even so, they share some commonality. She is certainly intelligent, though perhaps cunning would better describe her. She is adept with her magic, and when certain subjects are broached she is transformed entirely, and I can see the same curiosity and passion that drives T when she is in the midst of some grand new discovery. Of course the moment passes with the next swallow of her drink, and she returns to a generalised harangue about the way her university is run or how unfair the world has been toward her.

Three times she showed some emotion other than disdain. First, when she spoke of her stallion Lucent, with whom she is enamoured as a filly. Second, when she spoke of Twilight Velvet, toward whom she seems particularly spiteful, but also regretful. And finally of her sister, who she mentioned but once and then refused to speak of again.

I suspect I shall meet these other ponies before long. Perhaps T and her science are rubbing off on me, but I would particularly like to meet the mare that raised T for comparison with her birth mother. Are we defined by nature or nurture?

I do wish she would stop calling me 'Loopy'.

11 11 1215

Spent an interesting day with T at the copse. Didn't get much meditation done - for some reason. Chalking that one up to the unusually warm day, for which I suspect I have to thank RD. It is a pity I can't thank her the way I wish, but perhaps a nice bunch of flowers instead.

Later, T mentioned in passing the idea of marriage. I assumed she meant between L and RD, but she clarified with some hesitation that she meant all of us. Not entirely sure she's thought this one through. A whole herd joining in this way is simply unheard of.

And yet I cannot see any reason to object. It seems that I am bound to them. My lovers. My companions. My friends.

I could want for nothing more than these.

Of course I'll say yes.

First Interview with Princess Luna

First Interview with Her Royal Highness Princess Luna

This transcript includes more detailed notation and a record of silences indicated numerically in seconds.

Subsequent interviews were conducted with more decorum and are more informative. This interview was included as it prompted several areas of research.

Date: 1216/02/13
Time: 2:45 AM

Interviewer: TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Interviewee: PRINCESS LUNA

(Start of Interview)

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: First let me say how much of an honour it is to be able to interview you, Princess Luna.

PRINCESS LUNA: The honour is mutual, Twilight Sparkle. It is pleasing that you are willing to engage your task at this hour. Few ponies wish to do so.

TS: I've been— (inaudible) been getting used to early hours recently. Lyra—

PL: Ah yes, the one called who desires to be called loopy.

TS: You've been talking to my mother again.

PL: Ah. Another of her questionable jokes. I understand.

(1.1)

TS: Well, anyway, um, ah, lets start with (pause) your full title. For the recording.

PL: Very well. By name I am Luna de Losna, though I have been known by many names to many peoples in times past. Moon Dancer, Star Walker, Diana, Selene, Mother of Night, The Hunter, Wanderer. Many more. (inaudible) miss that one the most.

TS: And these—

PL: Many are incorporated into my full official title, but I shall not repeat the entire thing as it would take far too long, and I suspect your little device would grow bored.

TS: Oh. Yeah, it's been acting up again.

PL: The title that I bear for most official purposes is Her Royal Highness Princess Luna of Equestria, Regent of the Moon, Duchess of Hesperia and the Bit Islands, Grand Judge of Night. I'm also a legal scholar, though I have yet to be engaged in any capacity since my return. It is rather amusing to think that such a role requires that I guess the will of Celestia when I can simply ask her.

TS: Oh. Yeah, I thought about legal training once. It didn't appeal.

(4)

PL: I see that a questionable sense of humour is a trait in your family.

TS: Well excuse me p—

PL: Do not.

TS: Sorry. (inaudible) was funny.

PL: Perhaps. I am merely aware that our time is limited. Be at peace, Twilight Sparkle.

TS: Okay, well, perhaps— perhaps you could briefly describe your duties as a princess?

PL: Briefly? (laughter) I shall try.

TS: Succinctly, then.

PL: You are aware of my affinity for the moon—it is my elemental role. I raise the moon each night, and lower it each morning.

TS: So far so popular.

PL: In addition I convene what is popularly referred to as the night court, though it rarely take place at night. I also serve as the seated secretary of Parliament, though it is rare that I actually take that seat, and I assist my sister Celestia in the general administration of our laws and government to whatever degree we feel it is appropriate.

TS: That's actually more than I expected. Were these all things you did before—um... before?

PL: In fact no. I have assumed many of Celestia's former roles since my return. Only my affinity for the moon remains from before. I have often considered restoring my judicial roles, but I am told that the high court now serves adequately.

(2.2)

TS: Can—Can I ask about the changes that have taken place in your absence?

PL: Where do I begin? (laughter) Equestria feels so big now. When I departed, it was but a tiny place. It stretched from Manehattan on the coast to just west of Canterlot, leaving much of the continent empty or unclaimed by any great power. I have yet to fully explore much of the land that has been annexed since.

TS: Annexed?

PL: Forgive me. Incorporated. Is that the correct terminology?

TS: I think the word you're after is federated.

PL: Ah yes. There was a time when rebellious provinces were brought under the yoke of an all-powerful ruler, but—ah, the past is truly another country. Celestia has remarked that she would not wish to be reminded of such days, though I cannot feel that much has been lost in this era of civic fumbling and meandering politicians. That great city of Roam, I am given to understand, is now merely the administrative capital of one of these federatings.

TS: They're called states, and Roam is actually the capital of a dependent Queendom. Only about a third of Equestria is federated at the moment. The rest is still a combination of provinces, dependencies and titled lands.

PL: Ah, the Nobility. Never was a name so ironic. (laughter) Present company excepted, of course.

TS: Thanks, I guess.

PL: Still, this form of government intrigues, does it not? A mishmash of arrangements. Somehow it has brought about a peace that I never knew in my era. Why, even minotaurs roam the land unmolested! And this human of yours—he has such a fine voice, does he not? In my own day he might well have become a ward of the royal court and perform for our pleasure. Tis a pity such cannot be so. Were I not pursuing your mother's herd—

TS: Moving on! (inaudible)

PL: I fear I have erred again...

TS: (inaudible)

PL: Perhaps if we were to discuss—

TS: (inaudible) another time. I don't think I can keep this up right now.

PL: You may return whenever you like, Twilight Sparkle. During the day, too, if that is preferable. After all, an alicorn such as I rarely needs sleep.

TS: Oh. I could have come during the day?

PL: As I said. But I thank you for visiting at this hour anyway, Twilight Sparkle. I seldom have visitors so late. It is refreshing.

TS: Oh. (inaudible)

PL:Perhaps you might tell me of this device? It is rather impressive, even for the advances of this age.

TS: This—oh! Yeah, it's, well I'd have to turn it off to show you properly, but it—

(RECORDING ENDS)

The Pony Everypony Thinks They Know

The Pony Everypony Thinks They Know

Lyra Heartstrings

We are the pony, the gracious and harmonious pony, equum sapiens nobilis, stood astride the earth, athwart the mountain, atop the sky. We are the fountain builders, the planters, the raisers of the sun and moon. We are the pinnacle, the core of harmony, the life of the world, the providers, the healers, the philosophers, the singers, the poets, the travellers, the ponies everypony wants to be.

All these things are we, and none at all.

Ponies are not, by their nature, particularly good at humility. Though we are a naturally social species, we are very good at excluding others based on the simple belief that we are better than they are in some way. This is not a flaw in and of itself. We are a herd. We keep out predators. Ponies survived for most of our time on this earth through the formation of tightly knit groups that excluded anything perceived as a threat to the well-being of that group. This can become a great strength, or a great weakness.

In some ways we are better than others; everypony has a special talent, a special part of their identity, proudly borne upon their flank, that few can truthfully claim to share with them. In that one single endeavour, that pony is better than nearly any other pony she may meet.

The first and greatest thing a practitioner of the Still Way must learn is to accept this, with humility and thankfulness; we are better in that one, single, special way. To hide or deny it is to hide from our own self. This is not to say we should be prideful, but rather be humble, for true humility acknowledges strength and weakness, and does not seek to minimise either state.

The second, and equally greatest thing we learn is to know our true self in every way, and to be truly humbled by it. We seek to know our flaws, to understand our weaknesses, and to turn them to our advantage; to know our strengths and how they can be turned against us; to know our extent and our limitations, and to know where we begin and where we end. Only when the pony knows herself inside and out can she practice the Still Way.

This is truth: most ponies do not know themselves. We think we do. We believe that we know how others see us, and we think we know how we see them, but we walk though our days with our eyes closed, both to the deep and terrible flaws we carry, and the true strengths we share.

Incidental Recording

Incidental Recording

Included in reference to Dash diary entries

Date: 17/09/1215

(recording begins)

RAINBOW DASH: -idn’t say anything like that, you’re just getting cranky-

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: I am not cranky!

RD: -because you spend too much time locked up in that little room with your books-

TS: That- don’t you dare-

RD: -like some boring egghead!

TS: -call me- raagh!

(loud thump, crashing sound)

RD: Twilight!

BELLEROPHON: Hey what’s going on in here?

RD: Twilight just threw-

TS: She started it!

RD: -a plate at- I did not!

BM: Ladies, lets not fight okay?

RD: We’re not fighting, we-

TS: Oh we’re fighting all right!

RD: What? No we’re-

TS: What’s the matter, scared I might win?

BM: Twilight.

RD: Okay that’s it!

(thumps, inaudible)

BM: Rain- Twilight no, put her down! She didn’t-

TS: Why?

LYRA: Hey what’s-

BM: -do anything to deserve that!

RD: You’re damn right I didn’t!

BM: Twilight, let her go and step- back- okay? Just- I know Rainbow can be a bit-

LH: What the hay, guys? I hear banging next thing I see-

RD: Lyra this isn’t the time.

LH: -you’re both over there, Twi’s crying in the corner-

RD: She just went for me over nothing!

LH: -frankly I’m this close to pulling my badge on you two.

RD: Oh come on!

TS: (inaudible) isn’t happening it isn’t (inaudible)

BM: Lyra, she was gonna bounce Rainbow off the damn wall, I had to-

TS: Why do you keep taking her side?

BM: -grab her- Because nobody else does, okay? Nobody!

TS: (inaudible)

LH: It’s not-

RD: (inaudible) princess.

TS: (inaudible)

(door slam)

LH: (pause) Great job, you two.

BM: Oh come on, she- she knows Dash’s sense of humour by now.

LH: She might. Does that matter?

BM: I-

RD: I never did anything!

LH: Think about it from her point of view for a bit, okay? I’ve got-

(recording ends)

(recording resumes)

(data erased)

(recording ends)

(recording resumes)

TS: Note to self, find out why recorder keeps activating in high-tension situations. Cross-reference sympathetic effects of unicorn emotional states on magical abilities. Make sure transcriber daemon hasn’t already copied the erased portion of this recording.

BM: (inaudible)

TS: Additional note, buy a new bed for the study.

(recording ends)