Prince Martin Willis Three. NonSpeakers Like Us. (Not like as in like but as in we are like like a rock is like a stone in that way.)
It was in a way for the ponies of ponyville to accept the moment that had hit them hard upon return from their owl destruction. Prince Martin Willis was busy realizing that something was not fit to the standard of pony amazingness. “Effing what the eff is going on in here!” Spike was sour like grapes that clustered in vineless swarms to assault the hordes of violent chewing guttered insects that violate them with forensic insensitivity. His hands clenched at his side like a sensei and he crushed the palms of his hands into the dust of his black clawed fire eyed death feelings with regrettable influx of pain. That caused skies to darken and his emotions to parade like clowns in masks of evil intent.
“We are in a bad effing way Spike.” Twilight Perk slammed her plot against mine in a loving fashion and we made quick flavoreful kissing in the kitchen behind the eyes of woeful spike and his disapproving nature that resists.
I squeezed her cheek and mane and rubbed her eyelids with my tongue. “the owl may have done another dumb thing and I must correct it.” I gave him the thumbs up and he high fived me after moments of anger and gleeful withholding that smelted my violent shining furry.
“he has cast us the pivitol rings of his indescisive corridors of time through cowerdice and secoming to the violet rays of his indignant pony diamond shard abuse. We must unravel the spells that envelop his movements before we are flown through the ever encroaching mystery of red hot surrender.” Twilight was busy cutting up food like hay so we could eat and I nodded at her approach of the subject of our woa.
“If we do not stop the owl from casting the crap out of spells and doing the hardcore drugs of a banned maniac in the dungeon of everfree reclusively violated with timber wolf bones and maddening crow skull berries. WE WILL BE TRANSPORTED THROUGH A PORTLE!” I sighed epicly and rubbed my fingers through his now calm spikes. Slipping between the crusted scales of his flames and blowing tickles against the smoke that he secreted cautiously.
Then it got to the point we all were not expecting to happen like it did. The mane six showed up and they had found the owl tangled in the mire of his own undoing and he was catapulted to my feet with splats.
Celest spoke up hurriedly. “My Student we have captured the effing idiot bird!” WE tongue kissed in greeting and I smacked the jiggles of her cutie mark sun.
“FOOLS OF A THOUSAND BLACK NIGHTMARES! I CARESS YOUR OVERTAKING OF MY PRIVACY WITH THE ELECTRIC HANDS OF A BARBER THAT HATES HAIR AND CHOP WEEDS INTO YOUR SOUP TO POISON YOUR STOMACHS IN A SPASMATIC FIT OF PORCUPINE CRUMBLING FEAR! I AM THE OWNER OF ALL THINGS AWESOME AND THROUGH THE TAKING OF HARDCORE DRUGS I HAVE AQUIRED THE ANCIENT POWER OF CANTERLOT. (This is why he is speaking in the Canterlot way and doing things like Nightmare Moon. Also Nightmare Moon died of being in an accident so we mourned but she is not in here. Spike was super sad and almost blew up ponyvile with a secumbing ray of immediate power and black claws that scratched the earth from itself. But got over it because he still had his fashion girlfriend Rarity to hang with But before she died she passed all her knowledge and skills onto Willis for him to procure at leisurely virality and to expect great things he can do with much newfound correction) He struggled against the black chains and pinkie pie leaned in and choked him to quietness. IT IS TOO EFFING LATE HERO OF NOTHING. YOU STINK CRYSTAL SLUT PUPPET! He waved his beak in a scalding faishion and I was loathe to curropt him and held back by the firm pressing love of my wife Twilight who kissed me heavily to distracting voriosciousness. I licked the inside of her nose and rubbed her tail that swished very carefully sliding my fingers throughout the strands of her mane and putting my hoof against her heart to feel the pulse that demanded a strong passionate love and we made love.
Suddenly Applejack realized the sickness of the situation with the owl. “yall!” she bemoaned wildly sipping the cider. “Yall howdy. He’s casting a super bad spell I can feel it in my country knowledgable guts.” We cried tears that struck skyward with fitting stature to become diamonds pried down by the hands of rarity and fashioned into fashion clothing for us to be worn at the neck and shine brighter than the sun when it is backing up the Griffon in a rage of clouded judgement as they ransack the city in the sky with bolts of rage that cause the eminent darkness to be cast in curdling waves of suppression across the mirey valley of Ponyvile.
“My students!” Celest was shaking and I steadied her with a plot bumb and a sweet kiss because my wife still let me help that way if it was needed. “We are effing doomed!” She cried and spike rolled his eyes with passionate annoyance. “Effing this sux! We should just ban the owl to the everfree forest with Celests magic alicorn wisdom and Wilises too that he gained from my ex lover Nightmare Moon!”
So we set about to do just that only it was too late. We fell through a portle the owl created. We arrived back into the world that spat me out into the realm of ponies and the scientists that created the gun of portles as my passionate loving gift for being so great at the game PORTAL were all dead. Their guts were all over the room and it was pretty messed up and I sat down and my eyes grew huge.
“Willis this is no good.” I saw beside me Twilight and the Mane Six and Spike and Celest and my jaw dropped and I got a worried look and fiercely rubbed my eyes to avert the horror. WE WERE ALL PEOPLE AND IN THE WORLD OF AMERICA!
I eyed the science stuff and crestfallen understood. Something bad had gone down and that was why my gun stopped its working when I hit Equestria. Someone was taking over this world and in destroying science at my amazing achievement celebration room I was left pondering softly.
Suddenly it hit me again. Since I came as a pony and lsot the power of people…
I realized with much sadness and screamed in agonized rage throwing books at the walls and kicking desks into the ground and chairs to fly against the black hole where the portle had appeared. And utensils and science bottles against space I flasked them with rage that could not be subsided with love of my wife Twilight or the whole mane six or even Celest or my best friend effing in all of the worlds Spike.
“You guys.” I wept heaviness. “if we are seen and realized as ponies cause our cutie marks stayed we will be killed and dissected by other bad science people not like the good ones that recognized my skills as a king and gave me the portle gun from PORTAL. “
Spike caught on now with much tongue flinging and mystic sense. “We are Non Speakers now like the pony travelers of old. And we must blend or face the dire situation that being left unblended can create.” For the first time since my visit to become Prince Martin Willis King of Portles Defender of Equestria and Protecter of Ponies I worried greatly. “we may not defeat the unknown horrors ahead undiscovered as ponies.”
My guide Pocketini sipped the cider and comforted me. (She stayed a pony with her apple knowledge only becoming Appletini again and going in my human pocket and disguising herself as a blind bag toy) “Yall need to find disguises like the one I made and fast.” We agreed. “we can bucking do this ponyhowdy.”
I agreed fluently. We would kill and restore this world to the awesomeness that it was when I was known here as the best player of PORTAL.
Next chapter we get disguises and I teach the Mane Six and Spike and Lessy to be humans and how to act and loving like humans. We will discover the evil that has befallen earth and learn how to defeat the new horror that overtook it most carefully. Also Pocketini will tell us where to go to gain weapons of combat to defeat and how Twilight can make them from the science stuff left around in disarray at my place.
