Out of His Leagueby TheTwientistChaptersA Special AssignmentPersonal IssuesNot-Guard DutyA Special AssignmentA Guardspony's life must never become routine, for one should never relax when a nation is resting on his shoulders. -Guardspony's Handbook, Page 10, Line 33 The sun's rays filtered down through the window. Shining Armor swallowed the urge to kill Celestia that was shared by all ponies of Equestria for one minute a day. Then he rolled out of bed. Below him, the streets of Equestria were slowly waking up. There was a distant (but annoyingly loud) clatter of wagons and carts in the streets. Ponies were getting up and heading to work. And so, regrettably, was Shining Armor. Not that Shining hated his job, of course. He was very passionate about it. But he was still certain that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if he didn't have to come into work until noon. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he brushed his hair and washed his face. A guardspony must always look respectable, rang the venerable words of the Guardspony's Handbook, page 127, line 16. The idea that Guards were thick-headed was laughably false. With all the memorization in the training academy, Shining would be lucky to forget half of it in his lifetime. Well, at least the view's nice, he thought to himself. That much was true. The Guards' apartments were arranged near the castle on the east side of the city. In fact, they were so far east that they were literally on the edge of Canterlot itself. As Shining looked out the window, he could see all of Equestria laid out before the sunrise. It was a nice, if slightly blinding, touch. He could even make out a tiny little town not too far from Canterlot. Ponyville. His mind instictively drifted to Twilight. She'd made friends, he'd heard, and was having the time of her life.They hadn't talked, or even corresponded, for ages. He missed her. I bet she doesn't have to get up so early, growled his brain, before his conscience mentally swatted him. With a sigh, he turned back from the window and glanced at the clock. 7:54! He was going to be late! A guardspony is always at his post on time. To be late is to show disrespect to his post, his superiors, and Equestria. Page 12, line 17. Grabbing an apple from the cabinet, he bounded out the door. "Excuse me! Excuse me!" he shouted to the steadily-growing throng outside. No one seemed to care. He desperately dodged and weaved amongst the ponies, still eating his apple. This was the quandary of a guardspony; he needed his uniform to pass through large crowds easily, but in order to get to work (and get his uniform) he needed to pass through large crowds. It was a failure of logic that only guards ever noticed, but one that haunted them every day. "Hey, Shiny, wait up!" called a familiar voice. Shining Armor turned around to see his partner wading through the crowd towards him. Handcuffs had been Shining's best friend since they met in Guard School. Being somewhat shorter than Shining, he was having a harder time getting through the crowd, but at last the two were walking side by side. Shining glanced at the bell tower. Three minutes left. "What's up?" asked Handcuffs. "Not much, seeing as I just woke up," said Shining Armor as pressed forward. "Geez, slow down!" said Handcuffs, brushing his dark blue mane out of his face. "You're gonna leave me behind!" "We're going to be late," replied Shining. "And while you might mind that, I would start my day with my eardrums intact." "You worry too much," said Handcuffs, prodding Shining with his front leg. "Sarge won't mind if we're a few minutes behind." "Have you met him?" replied Shining dubiously. "Doesn't matter anyway," said Handcuffs. "We're already here." The stone citadel that was the Guard's Headquarters loomed up above them. Shining felt a rush of pride as he stood before it; how many could say they worked in something like this? Like most buildings in Canterlot, it was countless centuries old, and had merely been updated over the years. It could have been a castle unto itself; the windows were all barred, and the battlements were full of watchful eyes. There was even a portcullis in the door, although it hadn't been lowered in decades. Already the building was a hive of activity, as members of the Day Guard filed out to their posts. A purple, bat-winged pony bustled past Shining and Handcuffs as they climbed the stone steps. Handcuffs shivered. "What's with those guys? They were already weird enough before Luna gave them those wings." "Come on," said Shining. "You know they don't actually look like that. It's just their uniform." Handcuffs rolled his eyes. As they entered the main hall, Shining looked up at the well-worn golden clock over the front desks. One minute left. "Let's move!" said Shining, yanking Handcuffs into the elevator. The doors rattled shut, and with a clanking of chains, they started to rise. Shining tapped his hoof impatiently. Handcuffs snickered at him. After what seemed like hours, they reached the top floor. Shining was out of the elevator the instant the doors opened. "Morning, Pen!" he called. "Morning, fellows," called a red-maned unicorn mare. "Sarge wants to see you." "Of course he does," groaned Shining. "Come on, Cuffs, let's get suited up." They grabbed their helmets off the rack and placed them firmly atop their heads, then buckled on their armor. A Guard's helmet and armor are more than protection. They are a symbol of his power, and his responsibility for his fellow citizens. Page 95, Line 2. One of the things that has always struck tourists about the Royal Guard is that they all look identical. White coat and blue mane/tail or black coat and white mane/tail. How was this possible? Were only ponies with that coloration allowed into the Guard? Did Celestia have a secret supply of magically-engineered Guardsponies hidden under Canterlot Castle? The truth was, as most truth is, somewhat less glamorous. The armor has a simple illusion spell cast upon it, which changes the wearer's appearance to one of the two Guard color schemes. Once the armor was removed, the guards changed back. Shining was one of the few ponies who naturally resembled a guard. Handcuff's coat, for example, was actually a pale blue. The purpose had originally been to create a powerful image of unity and strength that ponies could put their faith in. This wasn't really neccesary any more, of course, but it was tradition by this point. Shining hurriedly finished suiting up. Mighty Pen glancing meaningfully at Sarge's office. Shining and Handcuffs hurried to the door. Shining gulped and knocked once. "Come in," came a gruff voice immediately. "Relax, you haven't done anything wrong," it added. "Yet." Somewhat relieved, the two stallion filed in to the office. Sitting at a spartan (and no doubt ancient) desk was a grizzled old unicorn stallion in Captain's uniform, shuffling through paperwork. "Morning," he said without looking up. Shining and Handcuffs glanced at each other anxiously. At last, he put down the papers and stared up at them. "I've got an assignment for you. A unicorn mare was spotted snooping around the archives last night. She escaped, but we've tracked her down." He turned to look directly at Shining, who flinched involuntarily. "You've been doing some good work lately. I'm going to let you lead this one. You two go get the location from Pen and bring this mare in for questioning. Take the Twins with you, in case there's any trouble." "Y-y-yes Sir!" Shining stammered out. The Sarge went back to his paperwork, and the two showed themselves out. "Can you believe it?" said Shining. "He trusts me, I mean, us enough to let us do something like this! This is huge!" "For the ten millionth time, yes, I can believe it," grumbled Handcuffs. "And if you don't shut up, I think the Twins and I are going to gang up on you and leave you knocked out in an alley while we handle this ourselves." The two massive stallions nodded. Shining quickly shut up. The Twins were a pair of extremely brawny pegasi. Shining had never heard them talk beyond phrases like "Halt" or "No one gets to see the Princess". However, he had no desire to in any way provoke them to say something, for fear of extreme pain. "Where'd Pen say this mare was?" he asked, after a while. "Her wagon's down by the corner of Cobble and Saddle. She's some kind of street magician. Pen also asked us not to do anything that require undue amounts of paperwork on her part. I made no promises." Shining grinned a little. "There it is," said Handcuffs. There, by the side of the road, stood a very shoddy covered wagon with a crescent moon painted on its side. Shining went up and knocked on the door. The wagon wobbled like it mgiht fall down, but thankfully did not. "What do you want?" called a complaining voice. The door opened, and a blue unicorn mare poked her head out. Her eyes widened as she took in the fact that four armored Royal Guards were standing outside her door. "Trixie didn't do it!" she shouted immediately. "Ma'am, you were seen snooping around outside the Canterlot Royal Archives last night. We're going to have to bring you in for questioning," said Shining Armor. "Trixie didn't do it!" repeated the mare. "Trixie is innocent! It was an imposter!" "A likely story," scoffed Handcuffs. "Trixie was attacked last night! Somepony hit her over the head! And as she fell to the ground, she saw Trixie running away!" "How could you have run away if you had been hit on the head?" said Handcuffs suspiciously. "Trixie was knocked out!" said Trixie emphatically. "But there was another Trixie!" Shining tilted his head. "How could there be two of you?" "Trixie doesn't know? But the Trixie that was at the Archives is not the Trixie that is here now! Trixie is the real Trixie, not that Trixie!" "Please stop, you're making my head hurt," said Handcuffs. "Ma'am, we'll be very interested in what you have to say if you just come down to Headquarters with us," said Shining. "Or will we have to force you to come with us?" Trixie's eyes glanced from Shining, to Handcuffs, to the Twins. "Trixie will come quietly," she whispered. "Thank you," said Shining. "Any luck?" Shining asked Mighty Pen as they waited outside the interrogation room. Pen shook her head. "She keeps insisting something about multiple Trixies. It's frankly rather confusing. But seeing as she didn't actually commit a crime beyond trespassing, we're going to have to let her off with a warning." Shining sighed. "Well, I don't think she'll do it again, at least." He brightened a bit. "And I brought her in without trouble, that's good for something, right?" Pen laughed sarcastically. "Yes, I'm sure you'll be Captain by the end of the week." Personal IssuesA Guardspony must never give personal problems higher priority than his sworn responsibilities when he is at his post. Guardspony's Handbook, Page 54, Line 17 "Sarge was talking to the Twins," said Handcuffs as he sat down next to Shining Armor in the cafeteria. "The Twins can talk?" asked Shining with a hint of surprise in his voice. Handcuffs rolled his eyes. "He was asking about you! How you did on your assignment!" Shining desperately tried to maintain a straight face. "This could mean big things!" insisted Handcuffs. "Come on, I know you're excited about this." Shining displayed no emotion. "It won't be anything big, we both know that." Handcuffs scoffed. "So Shining Armor, top student at Guard School, most honorable, idealistic, and frankly naive pony in all the Guard, if not Canterlot itself, is not excited about the fact that the Captain of the Royal Guard asked him to carry out a special assignment and is impressed with his results." Mouth quavering a bit, Shining replied, "That is exactly what I am saying." Handcuffs smacked him lightly. "Shut up. You're not making this any fun for me." "What am I supposed to do?" asked Shining. "Prance around shouting 'Sarge likes me, I'm going to be the Princess Celestia's personal bodyguard?'" "Exactly," said Handcuffs. "Humor boosts morale." His mind faintly abuzz with worries and hopes, Shining Armor trotted down towards the armory. He had castle duty that afternoon. Generally, the work was excrutiatingly boring (unless some visiting dignitary tripped over his spear), but he did need some time to just sit down and think straight. That opportunity never came. A familiar golden, red-maned unicorn was waiting for him outside the elevator with her typical harried expression. "You're needed in the tactical room," said Mighty Pen. "I don't know why, so don't bother asking me. Sarge sent me to find you specifically. Whatever you've been doing, Shining, keep it up." Ignoring the fact that his heart had nearly leaped into his throat, Shining nodded and thanked Pen, who immediately hurried off back to her desk. Shining quickly got onto the elevator. A Guardspony must never waste the time of his superiors. Page 78, Line 9. All I did was bring in some third-rate magician, Shining thought to himself. (Somewhere in an alley, Trixie felt her ears tingle.) It honestly can't have been that big of a deal. Why would Sarge want me for some big assignment? With a crash, smash, clatter, groan, and squeak, the ancient chain-driven elevator reached the basement. Shining had never really been down here before. The only level that was beneath it were the dungeons (which hadn't been needed in many years). The basement was where the most important planning procedures took place. Shining cautiously stepped otu of the elevator; he didn't feel like he belonged here. In the distance, he could hear voices and saw flickering torchlight. Praying that he was not too late, Shining trotted into the planning room. There stood Sarge, the Twins, and- Air Force. The black pegasus stared back at Shining Armor with distaste. There was a momentary battle of wills, before Shining Armor realized that staring down Sarge's second-in-command probably wasn't the best idea. "Ah, Shining Armor, you're here. Not too late, thankfully," said Sarge. "Sir," asked Air Force, "why are we bringining a . . . rookie for an important assignment like this?" "Simple," said Sarge. "He's known the princess for a long while. He'll put her at ease a bit. He has shown at least some good judgement recently, so I think he'll be able to handle this." Then it all made sense. Cadance. There was something going on involving Cadance, and they wanted to relax her a bit. Shining wasn't here because of talent, he was here because they needed a friendly face. Well, you couldn't get much friendlier than Shining Armor, unless you wanted to bring Twilight back from Ponyville. Cadance . . . In his mind's eye a picture was already forming: a lovely smile, sparkling eyes . . . His superego quickly shut the mental sluice gate before it opened any wider. Friendly face, he reminded himself. Friendly and nothing more. She's a princess. Sarge turned to Shining Armor. "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza-" (Shining bit down the urge to say "It's Cadance") "-is returning from her royal tour tonight. Seeing as there have been a number of disturbances around the Royal Palace, we've been asked escort her through the city back to her lodgings." He cast an evil eye around the room. "Now, this request was made by Princess Celestia herself, so don’t screw this up." “Do you see anything yet?” asked Handcuffs. “Nope,” said Shining as he stared down the tracks. He was tapping his hoof impatiently. “Hey, calm down some,” said Handcuffs. “I know you’re anxious to see your girlfriend, but she’ll get here soon enough.” “She’s not- we’re not- shut up!” hissed Shining, making Handcuffs break down with laughter. “You can’t joke about that sort of thing!” insisted Shining. “She’s royalty! What if somepony heard you?” “And that makes it even funnier that you think you have a chance with her,” replied Handcuffs, smirking. "Look, if you didn't want me joshing you, you wouldn't have asked them to let me come." Shining just scowled. In the distance, a plume of smoke rose from the valley. Handcuffs and Shining hurriedly assumed their positions. Sarge stood at the edge of the platform, with Air Force by his side. The pegasus glared suspiciously at them, but was unable to find any fault and turned back to the track. The train drew into the platform with a rattle. Shining Armor noticed that his heart rate was starting to speed up, and his superego had to run down and give it a quick talking to. The door opened, and she stepped out. She descended the steps gracefully, like a ballerina. Her flowing mane perfectly framed a beautiful, lovely face, which was already flashing that amazing smile at everypony she saw. Her eyes were perfect, purple orbs, so deep that there was no bottom. She seemed to almost radiate light . . . Handcuffs casually leaned over and pushed Shining's jaw back into place. The Sarge bowed his head. "Hello, Princess." "Hello," she replied, pleasantly, and her voice was like the tinkling of a thousand bells . . . "Have you really gone to all this fuss just for me? I'd hate to have caused you trouble." "It's nothing," said Sarge, and Shining found himself nodding emphatically in agreement. The guardsponies got into defensive arrangement, and Shining found himself shoved, whether through accident or design, right next to Cadance. Focus, he reminded himself. You're here to keep her safe. As the party left the station and headed into the streets, he tried not to notice that Cadance was looking at him. "Do I know you from somewhere?" she asked at last. "It's- it's me," he replied, "Shining Armor." Cadance's eyes widened. "Shining? I haven't seen you in ages!" " . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . yeah." Air Force gave a derisive snort. "So, how's Twilight?" asked Cadance. "She's . . . fine. She's in, um, Ponyville now," replied Shining slowly. "I heard about that!" said Cadance. "But then, who didn't?" "Yeah." "And how about you? How's the Royal Guard treating you?" "Yeah." Then, mercifully, Handcuffs smacked the back of his head. "Ow! Uh, I mean, it's fine," said Shining hurriedly. Cadance nodded knowingly as they rounded a corner. Then a wagon came barelling out of nowhere, heading straight for them. Shining's self-preservation instincts blinked on for a millisecond before they were overridden by the urge to protect Cadance. He and the other guards shoved her off the road, and they all flew into a pile of rubbish, which provided a soft, if smelly, landing. Despite his age, the Sarge was the first one up. He was already on his feet by the time Shining had realized that he wasn't dead. By the time Shining had hastily unwrapped his front legs from around Cadance, the Sarge was barking drill orders. "On your feet! We've just experienced a possible assassination attempt, and you're ust sitting there on your rumps? I ought to revoke your helmets!" With much confusion, the guards hurriedly stood up. Five seoncds later, they remembered to check that the Princess was alright. "Wait a second," said Shining, "where's Handcuffs?" He looked around wildly, but there was no sign of his friend. Then, thankfully, Handcuffs trotted out from the alley, rubbing his head. "Handcuffs! You okay?" "I'm fine," said Handcuffs. "I think I got pushed a bit too hard. I'm gonna have a headache tomorrow, though." "Come on!" snapped Sarge impatiently. "It isn't safe out here!" The guards reassembled around Cadance, and continued towards the palace, albeit at a much faster pace. "Are you alright?" whispered Cadance. "Me?" asked Shining. "I'm fine." "Good," said Cadance. "I don't want you to get hurt." There is absolutely nothing that can be read in that statement, Shining reminded himself. "It's been, what, two years since we've seen each other?" said Cadance. "We have some catching up to do." Is fate trying to tempt me? Not-Guard DutyA Guardspony must never act impulsively in the face of danger; to do so only increases the chances that he will harm himself and others. -Guardspony's Hanbook, Page 73, Line 2 "So, how's life in Canterlot been?" asked Cadance. "It's alright," said Shining Armor. He had resolved to be more verbose around Cadance following the awkwardness of the escort mission. His attempt had met only mixed results. Of course, it didn't help that he had been invited to a private audience with the princess in a secluded corner of the castle gardens. "I feel like I've missed so much!" said Cadance. "You were just about to start guard school when I left, and now you're doing special missions!" "I'm only a private," said Shining, fighting the urge to blush. "That was just a one-time thing, I think." "And not mention all that Twilight's been up to," Cadance went on. "Saving Equestria twice! And bringing back Auntie Luna, too! Celestia had told me about her, of course, but I only just met her last night! It's an entirely new world!" "Well, if it's any consolation, things aren't completely different," offered Shining. "That old ice cream shop on Twelthbit Lane is still open." Cadance let out a little squeal of delight. "I remember when we used to take Twilgiht there int he summer! I can't believe it's still going!" That joyful smile shone brighter than the sun above them to Shining Armor, worth more than a million bits . . . "Shining? Hello? Are you alright?" said Cadance. The spell was broken, and Shining realized that he had been staring. "Sorry," he said quickly. "Just, uh, thinking about, uh, guard duty." "Must be exciting!" said Cadance. She flashed another breathtaking smile, but this time he was ready for it. "Anyway," she went on, "I was just saying how I should go down and see Twilight in Ponyville." "That . . . sounds like a good idea." Cadance sighed. "But I think Auntie Tia's trying to make up for lost time while I'm gone. She's got me going to just about every ceremony or event in a fifty mile radius." "Ceremonies! What a huge price to pay for being an immortal princess," teased Shining Armor. "I know, I know," said Cadance. "But you try being royalty and see how you like it." "Because that's going to happen," said Shining. "You never know," said Cadance. Shining bravely tried to ignore the possible implications of that statement. "And I suppose you're going to be at the Grand Galloping Gala tomorrow?" Shining asked in an attempt to change the subject. "The biggest social event of the year?" said Cadance grimly. "There's no way Tia's gonna let me miss that one." There was a rustle in the bushes behind Cadance. "I'm even supposed to bring an escort, but I think I can get her to drop that part," Cadance continued. "Unless . . ." Shining wasn't listening. He was more focused on the blue orbs in the bushes that were almost certainly eyes. "You're doing it again, Shining," said Cadance, but her voice was distant. Shining lunged at the bush. The eyes retreated almost immediately. Then Shining realized he had jumped at a rose bush. Pain? Shining laughed at pain. Lots of pain from a thousand different directions? He gave it a little snort and tried to get up as fast as he could without losing face. Still, through the stinging, he heard the sound of a large animal running away, almost certainly pony-sized. "Are you okay?" asked Cadance immediately, reaching down to help him back to his hooves. "I'm fine," insisted Shining. "But I think we'd better get back to the palace." "Yikes," said Handcuffs. "What happened to you? Was a thumbtack robbing a bank?" "Not now," snapped Shining, striding purposefully towards Sarge's office. "I need to talk to Sarge," he said to Pen. "No can do," said Pen, nonchalantly leafing through some files. "He's in a coordinating meeting with the Princess. No way he's going to elt anypony interrupt him." "It's really important," said Shining desperately. "Disrupting-the-Princess important?" asked Pen skeptically. "I need to talk to him now," Shining insisted. Pen looked him in the eye, then sighed. "I trust you. Besides, it's your hide." She stood up, trotted to Sarge's office, and opened the door. Shining couldn't see what was going on, but he could catch snippets. Pen said something about "rookie" and "insisting to see you". Sarge said something in response, and he didn't sound ecstatic to be disturbed. Then a soothing, maternal voice spoke, and Sarge trotted out the door scowling. He caught sight of Shining and sighed deeply. "Please impart to me why you felt it neccesary to pull me out of a security planning meeting with Princess Celestia about the largest and most complicated guarding job of the year." "We need to increase security around the castle, and especially Princess Cadance's rooms." Sarge flashed through a range emotions in a matter of seconds. He scowled, knitted his brows, sighed, and finally looked at Shining with a slight air of despondence. "Look, kid, I know-" "There was somepony- something watching her. Inside the palace walls. I saw it." "And what, pray tell, were you doing inside the palace walls?" "I had been invited there by Cadance." He sensed what the Captain would say, and cut him off. "It's not an isolated incident! We've got ponies snooping around there after dark, and the wagon, from two nights ago! You yourself called it a possible assassination attempt!" "Let me talk," said Sarge, with a surprising amount of patience. "Look, kid, you're a good guard. You're smart. You've got potential. And I know you're doing what you think is best. But I can't ignore the fact that you're young. You've known the Princess for years. And she is very beautiful." "That's not-" Shining protested, but Sarge cut him off. "You're just a little . . . overeager. I was when I was young. Perfectly understandable. We've got the palace well protected, and I can assure that your princess is perfectly safe. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with the Princess to get back to." He turned to leave, but then paused. "Although, if you're really eager to protect the palace," he said, grinning a bit, "I suppose I can find a place for you and Private Handcuffs on gate duty under Commander Air Force during the Gala." " . . . Gate duty?" asked Shining, his jaw dropping. "Under . . . Air Force?" "Are you questioning your orders, Private?" "No Sir," said Shining quickly. "Good," said Sarge. Then he trotted back to his office and slammed the door.
A Special AssignmentA Guardspony's life must never become routine, for one should never relax when a nation is resting on his shoulders. -Guardspony's Handbook, Page 10, Line 33 The sun's rays filtered down through the window. Shining Armor swallowed the urge to kill Celestia that was shared by all ponies of Equestria for one minute a day. Then he rolled out of bed. Below him, the streets of Equestria were slowly waking up. There was a distant (but annoyingly loud) clatter of wagons and carts in the streets. Ponies were getting up and heading to work. And so, regrettably, was Shining Armor. Not that Shining hated his job, of course. He was very passionate about it. But he was still certain that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if he didn't have to come into work until noon. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he brushed his hair and washed his face. A guardspony must always look respectable, rang the venerable words of the Guardspony's Handbook, page 127, line 16. The idea that Guards were thick-headed was laughably false. With all the memorization in the training academy, Shining would be lucky to forget half of it in his lifetime. Well, at least the view's nice, he thought to himself. That much was true. The Guards' apartments were arranged near the castle on the east side of the city. In fact, they were so far east that they were literally on the edge of Canterlot itself. As Shining looked out the window, he could see all of Equestria laid out before the sunrise. It was a nice, if slightly blinding, touch. He could even make out a tiny little town not too far from Canterlot. Ponyville. His mind instictively drifted to Twilight. She'd made friends, he'd heard, and was having the time of her life.They hadn't talked, or even corresponded, for ages. He missed her. I bet she doesn't have to get up so early, growled his brain, before his conscience mentally swatted him. With a sigh, he turned back from the window and glanced at the clock. 7:54! He was going to be late! A guardspony is always at his post on time. To be late is to show disrespect to his post, his superiors, and Equestria. Page 12, line 17. Grabbing an apple from the cabinet, he bounded out the door. "Excuse me! Excuse me!" he shouted to the steadily-growing throng outside. No one seemed to care. He desperately dodged and weaved amongst the ponies, still eating his apple. This was the quandary of a guardspony; he needed his uniform to pass through large crowds easily, but in order to get to work (and get his uniform) he needed to pass through large crowds. It was a failure of logic that only guards ever noticed, but one that haunted them every day. "Hey, Shiny, wait up!" called a familiar voice. Shining Armor turned around to see his partner wading through the crowd towards him. Handcuffs had been Shining's best friend since they met in Guard School. Being somewhat shorter than Shining, he was having a harder time getting through the crowd, but at last the two were walking side by side. Shining glanced at the bell tower. Three minutes left. "What's up?" asked Handcuffs. "Not much, seeing as I just woke up," said Shining Armor as pressed forward. "Geez, slow down!" said Handcuffs, brushing his dark blue mane out of his face. "You're gonna leave me behind!" "We're going to be late," replied Shining. "And while you might mind that, I would start my day with my eardrums intact." "You worry too much," said Handcuffs, prodding Shining with his front leg. "Sarge won't mind if we're a few minutes behind." "Have you met him?" replied Shining dubiously. "Doesn't matter anyway," said Handcuffs. "We're already here." The stone citadel that was the Guard's Headquarters loomed up above them. Shining felt a rush of pride as he stood before it; how many could say they worked in something like this? Like most buildings in Canterlot, it was countless centuries old, and had merely been updated over the years. It could have been a castle unto itself; the windows were all barred, and the battlements were full of watchful eyes. There was even a portcullis in the door, although it hadn't been lowered in decades. Already the building was a hive of activity, as members of the Day Guard filed out to their posts. A purple, bat-winged pony bustled past Shining and Handcuffs as they climbed the stone steps. Handcuffs shivered. "What's with those guys? They were already weird enough before Luna gave them those wings." "Come on," said Shining. "You know they don't actually look like that. It's just their uniform." Handcuffs rolled his eyes. As they entered the main hall, Shining looked up at the well-worn golden clock over the front desks. One minute left. "Let's move!" said Shining, yanking Handcuffs into the elevator. The doors rattled shut, and with a clanking of chains, they started to rise. Shining tapped his hoof impatiently. Handcuffs snickered at him. After what seemed like hours, they reached the top floor. Shining was out of the elevator the instant the doors opened. "Morning, Pen!" he called. "Morning, fellows," called a red-maned unicorn mare. "Sarge wants to see you." "Of course he does," groaned Shining. "Come on, Cuffs, let's get suited up." They grabbed their helmets off the rack and placed them firmly atop their heads, then buckled on their armor. A Guard's helmet and armor are more than protection. They are a symbol of his power, and his responsibility for his fellow citizens. Page 95, Line 2. One of the things that has always struck tourists about the Royal Guard is that they all look identical. White coat and blue mane/tail or black coat and white mane/tail. How was this possible? Were only ponies with that coloration allowed into the Guard? Did Celestia have a secret supply of magically-engineered Guardsponies hidden under Canterlot Castle? The truth was, as most truth is, somewhat less glamorous. The armor has a simple illusion spell cast upon it, which changes the wearer's appearance to one of the two Guard color schemes. Once the armor was removed, the guards changed back. Shining was one of the few ponies who naturally resembled a guard. Handcuff's coat, for example, was actually a pale blue. The purpose had originally been to create a powerful image of unity and strength that ponies could put their faith in. This wasn't really neccesary any more, of course, but it was tradition by this point. Shining hurriedly finished suiting up. Mighty Pen glancing meaningfully at Sarge's office. Shining and Handcuffs hurried to the door. Shining gulped and knocked once. "Come in," came a gruff voice immediately. "Relax, you haven't done anything wrong," it added. "Yet." Somewhat relieved, the two stallion filed in to the office. Sitting at a spartan (and no doubt ancient) desk was a grizzled old unicorn stallion in Captain's uniform, shuffling through paperwork. "Morning," he said without looking up. Shining and Handcuffs glanced at each other anxiously. At last, he put down the papers and stared up at them. "I've got an assignment for you. A unicorn mare was spotted snooping around the archives last night. She escaped, but we've tracked her down." He turned to look directly at Shining, who flinched involuntarily. "You've been doing some good work lately. I'm going to let you lead this one. You two go get the location from Pen and bring this mare in for questioning. Take the Twins with you, in case there's any trouble." "Y-y-yes Sir!" Shining stammered out. The Sarge went back to his paperwork, and the two showed themselves out. "Can you believe it?" said Shining. "He trusts me, I mean, us enough to let us do something like this! This is huge!" "For the ten millionth time, yes, I can believe it," grumbled Handcuffs. "And if you don't shut up, I think the Twins and I are going to gang up on you and leave you knocked out in an alley while we handle this ourselves." The two massive stallions nodded. Shining quickly shut up. The Twins were a pair of extremely brawny pegasi. Shining had never heard them talk beyond phrases like "Halt" or "No one gets to see the Princess". However, he had no desire to in any way provoke them to say something, for fear of extreme pain. "Where'd Pen say this mare was?" he asked, after a while. "Her wagon's down by the corner of Cobble and Saddle. She's some kind of street magician. Pen also asked us not to do anything that require undue amounts of paperwork on her part. I made no promises." Shining grinned a little. "There it is," said Handcuffs. There, by the side of the road, stood a very shoddy covered wagon with a crescent moon painted on its side. Shining went up and knocked on the door. The wagon wobbled like it mgiht fall down, but thankfully did not. "What do you want?" called a complaining voice. The door opened, and a blue unicorn mare poked her head out. Her eyes widened as she took in the fact that four armored Royal Guards were standing outside her door. "Trixie didn't do it!" she shouted immediately. "Ma'am, you were seen snooping around outside the Canterlot Royal Archives last night. We're going to have to bring you in for questioning," said Shining Armor. "Trixie didn't do it!" repeated the mare. "Trixie is innocent! It was an imposter!" "A likely story," scoffed Handcuffs. "Trixie was attacked last night! Somepony hit her over the head! And as she fell to the ground, she saw Trixie running away!" "How could you have run away if you had been hit on the head?" said Handcuffs suspiciously. "Trixie was knocked out!" said Trixie emphatically. "But there was another Trixie!" Shining tilted his head. "How could there be two of you?" "Trixie doesn't know? But the Trixie that was at the Archives is not the Trixie that is here now! Trixie is the real Trixie, not that Trixie!" "Please stop, you're making my head hurt," said Handcuffs. "Ma'am, we'll be very interested in what you have to say if you just come down to Headquarters with us," said Shining. "Or will we have to force you to come with us?" Trixie's eyes glanced from Shining, to Handcuffs, to the Twins. "Trixie will come quietly," she whispered. "Thank you," said Shining. "Any luck?" Shining asked Mighty Pen as they waited outside the interrogation room. Pen shook her head. "She keeps insisting something about multiple Trixies. It's frankly rather confusing. But seeing as she didn't actually commit a crime beyond trespassing, we're going to have to let her off with a warning." Shining sighed. "Well, I don't think she'll do it again, at least." He brightened a bit. "And I brought her in without trouble, that's good for something, right?" Pen laughed sarcastically. "Yes, I'm sure you'll be Captain by the end of the week."
Personal IssuesA Guardspony must never give personal problems higher priority than his sworn responsibilities when he is at his post. Guardspony's Handbook, Page 54, Line 17 "Sarge was talking to the Twins," said Handcuffs as he sat down next to Shining Armor in the cafeteria. "The Twins can talk?" asked Shining with a hint of surprise in his voice. Handcuffs rolled his eyes. "He was asking about you! How you did on your assignment!" Shining desperately tried to maintain a straight face. "This could mean big things!" insisted Handcuffs. "Come on, I know you're excited about this." Shining displayed no emotion. "It won't be anything big, we both know that." Handcuffs scoffed. "So Shining Armor, top student at Guard School, most honorable, idealistic, and frankly naive pony in all the Guard, if not Canterlot itself, is not excited about the fact that the Captain of the Royal Guard asked him to carry out a special assignment and is impressed with his results." Mouth quavering a bit, Shining replied, "That is exactly what I am saying." Handcuffs smacked him lightly. "Shut up. You're not making this any fun for me." "What am I supposed to do?" asked Shining. "Prance around shouting 'Sarge likes me, I'm going to be the Princess Celestia's personal bodyguard?'" "Exactly," said Handcuffs. "Humor boosts morale." His mind faintly abuzz with worries and hopes, Shining Armor trotted down towards the armory. He had castle duty that afternoon. Generally, the work was excrutiatingly boring (unless some visiting dignitary tripped over his spear), but he did need some time to just sit down and think straight. That opportunity never came. A familiar golden, red-maned unicorn was waiting for him outside the elevator with her typical harried expression. "You're needed in the tactical room," said Mighty Pen. "I don't know why, so don't bother asking me. Sarge sent me to find you specifically. Whatever you've been doing, Shining, keep it up." Ignoring the fact that his heart had nearly leaped into his throat, Shining nodded and thanked Pen, who immediately hurried off back to her desk. Shining quickly got onto the elevator. A Guardspony must never waste the time of his superiors. Page 78, Line 9. All I did was bring in some third-rate magician, Shining thought to himself. (Somewhere in an alley, Trixie felt her ears tingle.) It honestly can't have been that big of a deal. Why would Sarge want me for some big assignment? With a crash, smash, clatter, groan, and squeak, the ancient chain-driven elevator reached the basement. Shining had never really been down here before. The only level that was beneath it were the dungeons (which hadn't been needed in many years). The basement was where the most important planning procedures took place. Shining cautiously stepped otu of the elevator; he didn't feel like he belonged here. In the distance, he could hear voices and saw flickering torchlight. Praying that he was not too late, Shining trotted into the planning room. There stood Sarge, the Twins, and- Air Force. The black pegasus stared back at Shining Armor with distaste. There was a momentary battle of wills, before Shining Armor realized that staring down Sarge's second-in-command probably wasn't the best idea. "Ah, Shining Armor, you're here. Not too late, thankfully," said Sarge. "Sir," asked Air Force, "why are we bringining a . . . rookie for an important assignment like this?" "Simple," said Sarge. "He's known the princess for a long while. He'll put her at ease a bit. He has shown at least some good judgement recently, so I think he'll be able to handle this." Then it all made sense. Cadance. There was something going on involving Cadance, and they wanted to relax her a bit. Shining wasn't here because of talent, he was here because they needed a friendly face. Well, you couldn't get much friendlier than Shining Armor, unless you wanted to bring Twilight back from Ponyville. Cadance . . . In his mind's eye a picture was already forming: a lovely smile, sparkling eyes . . . His superego quickly shut the mental sluice gate before it opened any wider. Friendly face, he reminded himself. Friendly and nothing more. She's a princess. Sarge turned to Shining Armor. "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza-" (Shining bit down the urge to say "It's Cadance") "-is returning from her royal tour tonight. Seeing as there have been a number of disturbances around the Royal Palace, we've been asked escort her through the city back to her lodgings." He cast an evil eye around the room. "Now, this request was made by Princess Celestia herself, so don’t screw this up." “Do you see anything yet?” asked Handcuffs. “Nope,” said Shining as he stared down the tracks. He was tapping his hoof impatiently. “Hey, calm down some,” said Handcuffs. “I know you’re anxious to see your girlfriend, but she’ll get here soon enough.” “She’s not- we’re not- shut up!” hissed Shining, making Handcuffs break down with laughter. “You can’t joke about that sort of thing!” insisted Shining. “She’s royalty! What if somepony heard you?” “And that makes it even funnier that you think you have a chance with her,” replied Handcuffs, smirking. "Look, if you didn't want me joshing you, you wouldn't have asked them to let me come." Shining just scowled. In the distance, a plume of smoke rose from the valley. Handcuffs and Shining hurriedly assumed their positions. Sarge stood at the edge of the platform, with Air Force by his side. The pegasus glared suspiciously at them, but was unable to find any fault and turned back to the track. The train drew into the platform with a rattle. Shining Armor noticed that his heart rate was starting to speed up, and his superego had to run down and give it a quick talking to. The door opened, and she stepped out. She descended the steps gracefully, like a ballerina. Her flowing mane perfectly framed a beautiful, lovely face, which was already flashing that amazing smile at everypony she saw. Her eyes were perfect, purple orbs, so deep that there was no bottom. She seemed to almost radiate light . . . Handcuffs casually leaned over and pushed Shining's jaw back into place. The Sarge bowed his head. "Hello, Princess." "Hello," she replied, pleasantly, and her voice was like the tinkling of a thousand bells . . . "Have you really gone to all this fuss just for me? I'd hate to have caused you trouble." "It's nothing," said Sarge, and Shining found himself nodding emphatically in agreement. The guardsponies got into defensive arrangement, and Shining found himself shoved, whether through accident or design, right next to Cadance. Focus, he reminded himself. You're here to keep her safe. As the party left the station and headed into the streets, he tried not to notice that Cadance was looking at him. "Do I know you from somewhere?" she asked at last. "It's- it's me," he replied, "Shining Armor." Cadance's eyes widened. "Shining? I haven't seen you in ages!" " . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . yeah." Air Force gave a derisive snort. "So, how's Twilight?" asked Cadance. "She's . . . fine. She's in, um, Ponyville now," replied Shining slowly. "I heard about that!" said Cadance. "But then, who didn't?" "Yeah." "And how about you? How's the Royal Guard treating you?" "Yeah." Then, mercifully, Handcuffs smacked the back of his head. "Ow! Uh, I mean, it's fine," said Shining hurriedly. Cadance nodded knowingly as they rounded a corner. Then a wagon came barelling out of nowhere, heading straight for them. Shining's self-preservation instincts blinked on for a millisecond before they were overridden by the urge to protect Cadance. He and the other guards shoved her off the road, and they all flew into a pile of rubbish, which provided a soft, if smelly, landing. Despite his age, the Sarge was the first one up. He was already on his feet by the time Shining had realized that he wasn't dead. By the time Shining had hastily unwrapped his front legs from around Cadance, the Sarge was barking drill orders. "On your feet! We've just experienced a possible assassination attempt, and you're ust sitting there on your rumps? I ought to revoke your helmets!" With much confusion, the guards hurriedly stood up. Five seoncds later, they remembered to check that the Princess was alright. "Wait a second," said Shining, "where's Handcuffs?" He looked around wildly, but there was no sign of his friend. Then, thankfully, Handcuffs trotted out from the alley, rubbing his head. "Handcuffs! You okay?" "I'm fine," said Handcuffs. "I think I got pushed a bit too hard. I'm gonna have a headache tomorrow, though." "Come on!" snapped Sarge impatiently. "It isn't safe out here!" The guards reassembled around Cadance, and continued towards the palace, albeit at a much faster pace. "Are you alright?" whispered Cadance. "Me?" asked Shining. "I'm fine." "Good," said Cadance. "I don't want you to get hurt." There is absolutely nothing that can be read in that statement, Shining reminded himself. "It's been, what, two years since we've seen each other?" said Cadance. "We have some catching up to do." Is fate trying to tempt me?
Not-Guard DutyA Guardspony must never act impulsively in the face of danger; to do so only increases the chances that he will harm himself and others. -Guardspony's Hanbook, Page 73, Line 2 "So, how's life in Canterlot been?" asked Cadance. "It's alright," said Shining Armor. He had resolved to be more verbose around Cadance following the awkwardness of the escort mission. His attempt had met only mixed results. Of course, it didn't help that he had been invited to a private audience with the princess in a secluded corner of the castle gardens. "I feel like I've missed so much!" said Cadance. "You were just about to start guard school when I left, and now you're doing special missions!" "I'm only a private," said Shining, fighting the urge to blush. "That was just a one-time thing, I think." "And not mention all that Twilight's been up to," Cadance went on. "Saving Equestria twice! And bringing back Auntie Luna, too! Celestia had told me about her, of course, but I only just met her last night! It's an entirely new world!" "Well, if it's any consolation, things aren't completely different," offered Shining. "That old ice cream shop on Twelthbit Lane is still open." Cadance let out a little squeal of delight. "I remember when we used to take Twilgiht there int he summer! I can't believe it's still going!" That joyful smile shone brighter than the sun above them to Shining Armor, worth more than a million bits . . . "Shining? Hello? Are you alright?" said Cadance. The spell was broken, and Shining realized that he had been staring. "Sorry," he said quickly. "Just, uh, thinking about, uh, guard duty." "Must be exciting!" said Cadance. She flashed another breathtaking smile, but this time he was ready for it. "Anyway," she went on, "I was just saying how I should go down and see Twilight in Ponyville." "That . . . sounds like a good idea." Cadance sighed. "But I think Auntie Tia's trying to make up for lost time while I'm gone. She's got me going to just about every ceremony or event in a fifty mile radius." "Ceremonies! What a huge price to pay for being an immortal princess," teased Shining Armor. "I know, I know," said Cadance. "But you try being royalty and see how you like it." "Because that's going to happen," said Shining. "You never know," said Cadance. Shining bravely tried to ignore the possible implications of that statement. "And I suppose you're going to be at the Grand Galloping Gala tomorrow?" Shining asked in an attempt to change the subject. "The biggest social event of the year?" said Cadance grimly. "There's no way Tia's gonna let me miss that one." There was a rustle in the bushes behind Cadance. "I'm even supposed to bring an escort, but I think I can get her to drop that part," Cadance continued. "Unless . . ." Shining wasn't listening. He was more focused on the blue orbs in the bushes that were almost certainly eyes. "You're doing it again, Shining," said Cadance, but her voice was distant. Shining lunged at the bush. The eyes retreated almost immediately. Then Shining realized he had jumped at a rose bush. Pain? Shining laughed at pain. Lots of pain from a thousand different directions? He gave it a little snort and tried to get up as fast as he could without losing face. Still, through the stinging, he heard the sound of a large animal running away, almost certainly pony-sized. "Are you okay?" asked Cadance immediately, reaching down to help him back to his hooves. "I'm fine," insisted Shining. "But I think we'd better get back to the palace." "Yikes," said Handcuffs. "What happened to you? Was a thumbtack robbing a bank?" "Not now," snapped Shining, striding purposefully towards Sarge's office. "I need to talk to Sarge," he said to Pen. "No can do," said Pen, nonchalantly leafing through some files. "He's in a coordinating meeting with the Princess. No way he's going to elt anypony interrupt him." "It's really important," said Shining desperately. "Disrupting-the-Princess important?" asked Pen skeptically. "I need to talk to him now," Shining insisted. Pen looked him in the eye, then sighed. "I trust you. Besides, it's your hide." She stood up, trotted to Sarge's office, and opened the door. Shining couldn't see what was going on, but he could catch snippets. Pen said something about "rookie" and "insisting to see you". Sarge said something in response, and he didn't sound ecstatic to be disturbed. Then a soothing, maternal voice spoke, and Sarge trotted out the door scowling. He caught sight of Shining and sighed deeply. "Please impart to me why you felt it neccesary to pull me out of a security planning meeting with Princess Celestia about the largest and most complicated guarding job of the year." "We need to increase security around the castle, and especially Princess Cadance's rooms." Sarge flashed through a range emotions in a matter of seconds. He scowled, knitted his brows, sighed, and finally looked at Shining with a slight air of despondence. "Look, kid, I know-" "There was somepony- something watching her. Inside the palace walls. I saw it." "And what, pray tell, were you doing inside the palace walls?" "I had been invited there by Cadance." He sensed what the Captain would say, and cut him off. "It's not an isolated incident! We've got ponies snooping around there after dark, and the wagon, from two nights ago! You yourself called it a possible assassination attempt!" "Let me talk," said Sarge, with a surprising amount of patience. "Look, kid, you're a good guard. You're smart. You've got potential. And I know you're doing what you think is best. But I can't ignore the fact that you're young. You've known the Princess for years. And she is very beautiful." "That's not-" Shining protested, but Sarge cut him off. "You're just a little . . . overeager. I was when I was young. Perfectly understandable. We've got the palace well protected, and I can assure that your princess is perfectly safe. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with the Princess to get back to." He turned to leave, but then paused. "Although, if you're really eager to protect the palace," he said, grinning a bit, "I suppose I can find a place for you and Private Handcuffs on gate duty under Commander Air Force during the Gala." " . . . Gate duty?" asked Shining, his jaw dropping. "Under . . . Air Force?" "Are you questioning your orders, Private?" "No Sir," said Shining quickly. "Good," said Sarge. Then he trotted back to his office and slammed the door.
