Portal

With a start, you wake up, feeling numb, not being able to move any of your body. Slowly, your feeling returns, but as it creeps up your back, you wish you were left numb.

Then, you remembered.

Desperately throwing your hand into your pocket, you pull out the berry, ignoring all pain. You throw it into your mouth and crunch down onto it, and immediately, you are surrounded by… nothing. You float freely, and all trace of pain, hunger and drowsiness has left you. As you explore your surroundings, not that there was anything to explore, you come across a familiar horse. Her mane is purple, pink and white and flows freely as if it were windy, but it wasn’t windy. The short hair on the rest of her body was white, but not any white, pure whit e, like the blinding white you get when you look up at the sun with wide eyes. The horn on her head was not to scoff at, at least twenty inches long, and her wings were just the same.

“Come,” she said, her voice soft, inviting and merry, like a warm fire on a cold winters’ night.

You float over to her and grab her tail just as she glides away.

The trip goes on for hours, and soon, you start to feel drowsiness overtake you.

“Do not fall asleep” you hear a voice command you sternly.

You look up at the magical horse called ‘Celestia’ with pleading eyes, and you are relieved of all drowsiness, just as if you had when you had eaten the magic berry. Tasted like chicken. Chicken – Berry?

You look around yourself in boredom, and all seems the same as it did hours ago. But, there, right in front of you, there is a speck… of green, blue and orange? Could it be getting bigger?

Just then, your body starts contorting, twisting in impossible angles as you writhe in pain.

What’s going on? Did the Unicorn-Pegasus trick you?

The unbearable pain is turned into an unbearable itch, and you howl as you feel the tingle of hundreds of needles piercing your flesh.

Then it’s gone.

“Look at yourself,” Celestia commands.

Reluctantly, you look down at yourself, half expecting to see a mauled body.

But it is worse than that. You are… a… pony? Yes, you are a pony!

“Whathaveyodone? Whydidyoudoit? HowdoIchangeback? Helpme!” You half shout.

“I told you a while ago. Do you not remember that the levels of your friendship are extremely low?” she replies calmly.

“Listen, bitch,” you start, reaching into your left jacket pocket – but you stop when you realise that… you are not wearing anything.

“Holy crap, I’m naked!” you shout. “I object!” You cry.

“Object what?”

The one phrase that meant so much at school has no meaning here. Mustering up all of your brain power, (which, admittedly, isn’t much,) you retort: “I object to coming here, to this place full of boredom, on a magical horse – “I am both unicorn and Pegasus,” she interrupted. “… On a magical horse,” you continue, “and having no clothes! I’m not some man whore like the rest of your race-” “What is a man whore?” Celestia interrupted again, much to your annoyance. “How would you say it here,” you say slowly, pretending to think. “Whorse?”

Celestia looked at you.

“It seems that my ever faithful student Twilight Sparkle was right about you.” She says, outraged.