Double Alicorn.

by Chuckward

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Random, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 1574

Alternate to cupcakes.

Discord, Nightmare Moon, and Chrysalis have teamed up and now it's up to Rainbow Dash to save the day.

A random little story that references other stories as well.

Published 2012-10-18 17:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-19 15:30:36 UTC

HACKsaw

Two things, first, yes this is a Cupcakes spinoff, but believe me, it's nothing like Cupcakes, and second, this is completely canon, this takes place between seasons two and three.
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" Dash? Why do they call it a hacksaw," Pinkie asked the half-conscious Pegasus,"it doesn't hack, hacking is what I did with the knife."

Dash looked at Pinkie.

"Th...they call it a hacksaw because it has a terrible cough," she said softly.

Pinkie stared Dash in the eyes, then she began to laugh, very hard, Pinkie was laughing so hard that her atomic structure was being compromised. She began to change, her legs drew back into her body, her torso began to reshape itself into a large rectangle, and her moth widened as her head drew back into her body along with the rest of her extremities. Pinkie was now nothing more than a huge pink napkin dispenser. Then she began rapidly firing napkins all around the room, eventually one of the napkins brushed up against the chains that held Rainbow Dash in place, giving them a wicked papercut. The chains ran away to get some band aids effectively setting Dash free. Rainbow Dash used this opportunity to fill the napkin dispenser with fermented beans, clogging the napkin port. Rainbow then ran up the stairs and out of sugarcube corner, put on a trench coat and sunglasses and turned to walk away.

"Hell, it's about time," Rainbow Dash said right before the explosion, then Rainbow Dash smirked and basked in her own badassery. Then she looked around and saw that something was very wrong.

There were changelings everywhere, as well as cotton candy clouds and upside-down buildings, not to mention it was nightime. Rainbow Dash turned to see Twilight sparkle running toward her.

"Oh Rainbow Dash, thank god your here, Nightmare Moon, Discord, and Queen Chrysalis have teamed up, we need to get the Elements of Harmony and stop them!"

" I'm sorry Twilight," Dash solemnly said, " Pinkie is dead, she turned into a giant napkin dispenser so I had to kill her. Don't worry though, I've got an idea."

Rainbow Dash broke off Twilights horn and attached it to her own head, then she flew to canterlot and borrowed Celestia's horn and wings so she could attach them to herself and become the first double alicorn.

Using her double alicorn power, Rainbow Dash launched Nightmare Moon, Discord, and Queen Chrysalis into the sun, and saved Equestria. Rainbow Dash was named the new queen of Equestria, and every Thursday was celebrated as double alicorn day.

Eventually, for whatever reason, despite her fame, fortune, and absolute rule over an entire country, Dash began to miss Pinkie.

"I miss Pinkie," said Rainbow Dash, who if you hadn't guessed by now, missed Pinkie.

Even though Pinkie had tried to kill her, Rainbow dash couldn't help but think about all the fun times they'd had together, whether it was pranking other ponies, or... Well actually that was all they did together, other than that one thing, Rainbow Dash found Pinkie to be rather annoying, in fact, the more she thought about it, the happier she was that Pinkie was gone. So rather than continue worrying about a dead pony she barely even liked, Rainbow Dash used her double alicorn powers to raise the moon and bring about nightfall, so that she could get some rest. Shortly after, she was in her bed chambers sleeping like a person who sleeps like a log.

Of course, unbeknownst to Rainbow Dash, sugarcube corner was built on top of an Indian burial ground, because Pinkie had dug up the bodies, pissed on them, and turned them upside down then buried them again, the area had become a festering cesspool of hateful magic, but of course none of that really mattered. The real reason for what happened next was because napkins were lit aflame in a bakery. Pinkie's scattered remains began to pull themselves together, eventually reforming into the pink pony everyone had forgotten in Rainbow Dashes triumph. She wanted revenge for what Rainbow Dash had done. However she would need more power if she was going to defeat Rainbow Dash in her current form. She started rummaging through the remains of the fallen bakery until she found what she was looking for, the dress and necklace that had miraculously survived the blast. She ripped the necklace and picked up the three unicorn horns that were on it, then she attached them to her head. She then ripped the six Pegasus wings off of the dress and sewed them to her back.

Pinkie had done it, she had become the most feared creature in the universe, the dreaded Triple Alicorn!

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Rainbow Dash woke up to discover that she was spooning Soaren and Fluttershy, she was confused for a minute before remembering that she had had a wicked three way with the two people inhabiting her bed right before she went to sleep. Soaren and Fluttershy woke up.

" Oh man," said Soaren," last night was great."

"Shut up babydick," Rainbow replied," I barely felt anything with you, but oh man, Fluttershy, you were packin heat. That was the biggest d-"

"Queen Rainbow Dash," cried a Royal Guard who had just run in," We need your help, a pink monster is attacking the city!"

Rainbow Dash sighed and began to tap dance, then she stopped tap dancing and started walking past to her closet to get her war garments, a trenchcoat and a pair of sunglasses.

Then she flew off to the outskirts of Canterlot where the Royal guards had built her a stage.One of the guards flew up and handed her a microphone.Rainbow Dash discarded her trench coat and replaced it with a yellow shirt.

"PINK MONSTER," she yelled in a loud gravelly voice,"COME OUT AND FACE ME, YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOU'RE THE MOST POWERFUL BEAST IN EQUESTRIA, BUT YOU CAN"T MAKE THOSE CLAIMS UNTIL YOU GO UP AGAINST THE BEHEMOTH,THE END ALL, THE BE ALL, THE AMAZING RAINBOW DASH. SO I'M GONNA ASK YOU BROTHER. WHATCHA GONNA DO? WHATCHA GONNA DO, WHEN DASHAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?

Rainbow Dash's theme song began to play and she tore off the yellow shirt. Then she started fistpumping and doing jumping jacks.

"Oh yeah! Say you're prayers and eat your vitamins kids," she yelled while flexing her muscles.

Suddenly the music changed and Rainbow Dash was engulfed in fire, and when the flames cleared Pinkie Pie, the Triple Alicorn was standing right in front of her. Pinkie simply stared angrily, her mane completely flat.

"Hello Rainbow Dash."

Some sort of fierce battle.

"Pinkie! How did you survive," Dash questioned Pinkie with the ferocity of a cougar.

"It is not by my hoof that I am once again given flesh," Pinkie replied," I was brought back by ponies who wish to pay me tribute."

"Tribute? You steal mare's souls and manipulate their bodies."

"Perhaps the same could be said of all religions."

"Your words are as twisted as your soul."

"What is a pony? But a miserable pile of secrets, but enough of this, let us begin."

Pinkie and Dash rushed at each other, locking horns in a struggle for dominance. Unfortunately for Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, being a triple alicorn, had an extra horn, and thus was better. Pinkie threw Dash and sent her hurdling toward the ground. Dash unfurled her wings just before she hit the ground in an effort to soften the impact. It didn't work, and Dash crashed into the found. She shook herself off and looked up to see Pinkie charging her, Pinkie's six wings allowed her to reach alarming speeds.

Rainbow Dash fired double alicorn lasers at Pinkie, but she simply dodged them and hit Rainbow Dash head on, leaving a massive crater. Pinkie began to slowly fly away.

Dash was very dizzy, and her vision was blurry. She began to see cheering crowds and flashing lights. Suddenly, a scruffy looking pony appeared in front of her.

"Get up Rock," the pony said," get up you son of a bitch!"

Dash slowly rose to her her hooves, growing two more horns and another two sets of wings, becoming a quadruple alicorn.
She turned to Pinkie.

"Hey," Dash yelled, Pinkie turned to Dash," I didn't hear no bell."

Pinkie charged Dash again, but this time she ran right into a left hook that knocked to the ground. Pinkie rose to her hooves and she and Rainbow Dash began trading blows in a vicious tango of flying fists and magical explosions. Pinkie threw dirt in Dash's eyes and kicked her to the ground. She tried to stomp on Dash's head, but Rainbow Dash rolled out of the way, grabbed Pinkie's hind legs and pulled them out from under her. Pinkie fell face-first onto the ground. Rainbow Dash then put Pinkie in a figure four leg lock.

"Oh my god! Dash has cinched in the figure four! Will Pinkie tap," Jim Ross yelled into the microphone that was there the whole time,"Oh! Pinkie's reaching for the ropes, it's just too bad there aren't any ropes to grab seeing as they're in an open field!"

Rainbow Dash held Pinkie in the figure four for three days before Pinkie finally tapped out and conceded defeat. Pinkie flew away before Dash's guards could arrest her, but Dash was happy, she had defended her beloved land for another day.