Author's Note

So I started working on the next chapter, got stuff plotted out, but uh, this happened for the inbetween pony scenes and it just... escalated, like, real bad. Sooooo fudge, it stays. I'll get the next real chapter out shortly but I'm throwing this up as a "Filler" chapter. To explain, what happens in this is obviously not too relevant and unedited (because I'm lazy Q.Q and it's no important). It may be lightly referenced for funsies, but it's skippable. I may clean it up later though. So, anywhose I'm never sorry. Enjoy! Or don't and wait, up to you.

Stendeeng Fist Port II: Da Mist Dongerest Port [Filler]

“Ugh, what are we waiting for anyways?” Rainbow Dash groaned as her and her friends sat around the palaces throne room, each atop their own personal chair “We haven’t played in forever! And now these guys are taking forever!”

“Forever!” Pinkie Pie popped up behind Rainbow Dash, hooves flailing as she spoke the words ominously.

“Right…” Rainbow deadpanned before flitting up “Can’t they come on their own time? I mean, between your wings, and beating Tirek we’ve had no game and it’s killing me.” Rainbow complained some more.

“Good, now the readers know where we are in the timeline. Right after Tirek, and before Starlight! Great exposition Dashy!” Pinkie Pie bounced and smiled, patting Dash atop her rainbow mane “You forgot to mention we’re waiting here because our other gaming friends are coming! You know, Trixie, Cadance, Spitfire, Someshed, Gilda, the Cutiemark Crusaders and Spike! The only reason I didn’t mention Blueblood is because he lives in Canterlot and doesn’t need a train!”

Everypony stopped to only briefly glance at Pinkie, Rarity yawning as Twilight mustered a fake “Oh.” of surprise, almost as if the group had collectively waved off their friends antics as the usual. Legitimate enthusiasm sparkled in Twilights eye as a light rapping came to her door from below. With a flash she appeared down to the main hall in front of the door before opening it up to see Trixie and Cadance walking side by side, the Alicorn smiling and giggling as Trixie continued with a tale of greatness she surely fabricated. As the door finished parting Trixie ended her sentence and turned to Twilight, rushing past the pink mare and squeezing poor Twilight half to death “Trixies friend!” she yelled gleefully

“Y-yes Trixie, it’s me…” Twilight groaned from the lung crushing pain she was in

“Oh Trixie is so happy to see you…” she spoke aloud, tilting her head to the side to mutter “And absolutely jealous of those wings…” she grumbled

“I can…” Twilight stared just as she looked to cadance who shook her head “Um, why don’t you go on up and see the others?”

“Trixie’s other friends!” the showmare shouted “Good good, servants take Trixies things and show her the way.” she spoke out into nowhere, nose up and chest out. Moments passed before she opened her eyes to see only Twilight and the princess she’d arrived with “Umm…”

“Oh, right. Um, I don’t… have any, erm, servants…” Twilight smiled at Trixie who only blinked in confusion.

Confused and annoyed she hoofturned to the princess of love at her back “Trixie’s other princess friend, why does Trixies first princess friend not have any servants!” she yelled annoyed “Trixie’s friend needs servants, Trixie demands to speak to Trixie’s friends manager.”

Brow raised Cadance shook her head “Aren’t I technically your first princess friend since I was a princess first? Also, we don’t have a manager, Twilight just didn’t feel comfortable living in a building full of ponies dedicated to her protection and every whim.” she answered quite bluntly

Gasping Trixie grabbed Twilight and put their heads together “Is Trixie’s friend sick? Quick, Trixie will make Trixie’s mom’s soup to heal her of her ailment!” she yelled, horn flashing as the two disappeared

“Huh, so she can teleport now. Neat, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know where the kitchen is…”

Now on the castle roof, Trixie swayed in a sickly fashion before falling stomach first “Urp, Trixie feels… dizzy.” she muttered shortly before leaning of the edge and losing this mornings haycakes

Light in her eyes Twilight picked the mare in her magic and pulled her over “That was… was… INCREDIBLE!” she shouted as Trixie blearily blinked at the ecstatic alicorn “You’ve really improved, oh I’m so proud of you!” she shouted more and she spun around with Trixie still grasped by the magenta aura of the young princess

“Urp, ugh, please put Trixie down, she wants to keep some of her breakfast before we go to the game…” stopping as she heard this Twilight released Trixie who hit the ceiling with a thump

“Sorry.” she smiled sheepishly “I was just… amazed. I’ve never seen you use magic that strong, not on your own.”

“Oh…” Trixite groaned a little more before standing “That is nothing, Trixie has performed, urp, dozens of great feats.” stumbling about she pointed her horn to a cloud “Watch as she, ugh, doubles that cloud!”

“Um, maybe you shouldn’t…” but before Twilight could finish the unicorn had begun her spell, wrapping the cloud in her aura as it’s form began to split. But instead of becoming two smaller forms the cloud had a perfectly identical copy of it at it’s side.

Completely drained Trixie said “See, this is the result of Trixies… result… of her…” she faded as she went plummeting to the ground, being quickly saved by Twilight's magic

“Probably shouldn’t do such complicated magic so much…” Twilight smiled at her friend before looking up at the clouds “Huh, she can duplicate a cloud… that’s… incredible.” she hummed briefly before looking down then back up “She has got to teach me how she did it! To think all along Trixie was so talented, the research, the study, to pull this off…” she stopped short as she heard another knocking downstairs.

With another flash of light Twilight was now besides Cadance who was on her stomach engraving a small heart with a C and S in the center flanked by smiling flowers, tongue sticking out in concentration as she focused . Passing Trixie over to her ex-babysitter Twilight spoke “She, uh, tired herself out. Why don’t you take her up and I’ll get the door.” Twilight paused than noticed the carving “What is-”

“Yo, dog, I am tagging this bitch. Crystal Side.” Cadence playfully interrupted before she placed Trixie on her back and skipped away.

Twilight smirked, shaking her at the elder ponies antics as she opened the door “Ugh, finally.” Gildra complained “Ew, barf, this place is so ugly. It’s like a rainbow farted in here.” she rudely pushed past Twilight, who briefly contemplated how Gilda would adjust to life as a large orange, before turning to the the other guests, both with a fiery head of hair and only one Twilight was surprised to see.

Spitfire, the first to speak, walked in with an annoyed look on her face “One minute, 13 seconds. I expected better time from you. Perhaps Celestia was right about that private training she recommended.” Spitfire perched a brow at the now sweating Twilight

“Oh, well, uh, would you look at that, a surprise guest. Sunset… what are you doing in Ponyville?” Twilight was quick to changed the subject

“I was informed Twilight was quite intelligent.” Spitfire muttered to Sunset

“Must be a wisdom check.” Sunset joked prompting a rare giggle from Spitfire who continued in

“Wisdom check? Hmmm…” Twilight was deep in thought for a moment, surely processing some complex algebraic formula in her head… or offering the gerbil lunch. “You’re Someshed, wait, huh?!”

“During my plans to overthrow Celestia I tinkered with the time travelling spell Starswirl made. I’ve only gotten as far as sending pre-generated illusions. Who you sat with was a pre-recorded message to Luna who was running my character. My future self sent me an image that I would be joining so she sent you an image to prepare our… you know. Magic, can I come in?” Sunset summarized the somewhat sily sentence as she walked passed the dumbfounded Twilight

Before she could finish closing the door in strode an angry Spike with the tails of three fillies encased in industrial glue in his claw “Sorry I’m late, I was promised gems. Turns out, the girls just wanted to get their cutie marks in ANNOYING ME!” he shouted and turned as the fillies wiggled what hooves they had exposed in a wave “By the way, Filthy Riches house was one fire before I got there, and before you ask, yes, Mayor Mare is also in there, no she will not be joining us, yes she’s already agreed that, again, I had nothing to do with Filthy’s burning house.” the pouty dragon ended as he marched on past

“You can just walk away Twilight, no one can stop you.” Twilight mused before a loud ‘Do and your dead.’ echoed from Canterlot's direction, a mix of the Royal Sisters voice being the assumed reason “That’s why everypony thinks you two eat too much cake…” Twilight muttered as she closed the doors and turned just as a scroll comes flying in, hitting her face

“For you.” Spike said curtly before returning to the main room

Opening it the letter merely read “Tonight, you.” in Luna’s handwriting.

“Awesome.” Twilight muttered before heading up for the rest of her friends.

If one assumed a train ride composed of the 15 most insane individuals in Equestria would result in chaos, they were right. Between the groups attempts at freeing the trapped crusaders, Cadences insistence on talking ‘street’, Gilda’s unbridled anger and Trixies unbridled ego, the 5000 word song Pinkie wrote, the 101 apple fact Applejack was dared into sharing, Rainbows unbridled ego trying to eat Trixies unbridled ego in a display Twilight was sure she shouldn’t let the fillies look upon, Spikes sudden urges to burn everything that annoys him and the twelve headed swamp thing that decided to attack the train they were passing on, the group had had enough. By the time they’d left a monster sized crater with a giant crystal sign made by Cadence that said ‘Buck wit’ me and mah boyz an ya get domed, dis is pony territory., the entire train had basically abandoned their car and resigned to packing those safe from the than burning, freezing, electrocuted madness that was where the soon to be gamers had taken their seats.

“And stay out!” the Train conductor yelled as he physically tossed the group on their rears, any respect for the two princesses D.O.A.

“You can’t disrespect Trixie’s friends this way!” she yelled as she readied a spell aimed at the now moving train as Twilight stopped her

“You did turn his co-conductor into a plate of spaghetti.” Twilight reminded

“Trixie was aiming for the blue one.” the showmare argued

“I thought you were aiming for Gilda.” Rainbow muttered

“I was hoping she was aiming for me.” Gilda complained

“There you go, all clean.” Fluttershy said as she snuggled with Scootaloo. Just as she had finished the two found themselves quite conjoined at the hip

“You know, let’s just give up and try again tomorrow.” Scootaloo suggested

“Hey, is it me or does anyone smell meatballs.” Gilda asked sniffing into the air

“No clue what a meatball smells like, but I smell food.” Pinkie replied with a rumble of her stomach

“Trixie was unaware that Pastafarian magic was so potent.” she said as she watched the train leave on meatball wheels.

“I also smell bacon.” Sunset said from the back just before Gilda pulled a strand of her hair out and ate it

“Hah!” Gilda laughed as she continued eating the bacon-hair, Sunset in a panic as she ran back and forth

“Oh no, she’s eating her. And than she’s going to eat us, oh my Celestiaaaaaa!” Pinkie screamed, hoof pointed at the griffon

“So I’m to assume that since her hair is bacon, that the feeling of burning on my head is a hilarious visual pun in which I’m actually on fire.” Spitfire asked, the group nodding in unison, a look of worry on their features “Dash, fetch me a rain cloud and a medic.”

Rainbow saluted and dashed away as Trixie strode up “Oh, are you hurt?” she asked

“No, the medic is for you.” Spitfire replied calmly before leaping at the unicorn, hooves wrapped around her neck.

“And lastly, did you know the crabapple is the only apple native to Equestria!” Applejack finished with a big smile on her face, a look of genuine pride gleaming in her eyes

“Sis, that’s fascinating. Also me and Sweetie Belle are trapped in a Giant Crabs mouth.” Bloom deadpanned as Sweetie screamed her lungs out

“Away from my sister you fiend!” Rairty yelled and pounced the vile crustacean.

“Twilight, say the word and I can burn them all.” Spike offered, a cruel glint in his eyes as he stared into the group as if looking into their souls.

Before Twilight could reply Cadence brushed herself off and spoke “I don’t see what the complaints are for, nothing happened to me.” and as she did everypony stopped in place, a piece of bacon hair falling from Gilda’s beak, Spitfires hair still smoldering as she gripped onto a now purple faced Trixie, Dash over top the two with a cloud and doctor in both legs, Sunset in mid run and Pinkie in mid terrified scream, even the crab had stopped in surprise as he too stared at the alicorn whose head was now upside down, and whose face was still right side up in a horrible twisted display.

“This is too much, I’ll show myself out.” the crab spoke as he spit out the fillies and scuttled away.

“What?” Cadance asked as they all stared in abject horror

And from afar Luna and Celestia looked upon the madness, Discord behind them with an ice cream cone in paw “We have no one to blame but ourselves. And by ourselves I mean you Luna.” Celestia spoke

“We instantly regret all of our life choices.” Luna replied

“You know what, I wasn’t even really scheduled for this chapter, I think I’ll just… not.” Discord said with a snap of his fingers, opening a giant ‘Nope!’ like a door and leaving

“And as an act of parliament, I, Celestia and the other princesses of Equestria of sound body and mind, ban all uses of Pastafarian magic on public transportation. Furthermore, we have deemed that “Shut up it’s my power to abuse.” is not a valid excuse for any of the following. "Burning half of Canterlot,” Spike crossed his claws “Charming half of Equestria with love magic to, quote ‘get home boyz to hooflix and chill.’” Cadence crossed her hooves “Bringing an Ursa Minor in to lure an Ursa Major to prove your strength, using the Wonderbolts as an elite strike force because ‘They’re all idiots.’, using dark magic to make everything beautiful in an ugly situation and also because Blueblood sucks… okay maybe I agree with the last point,” Celestia sighed as she continued down the scroll of crimes recently committed “Use you and your friends super filly cuteness to overthrow the current power structure in an attempt to gain your cutie marks for ‘World Domination’, use the power of spontaneous song and dance to confuse the populace into waging war on the Yaks,”

“They know what they did!” Pinkie remarked from the crowd

Celestia shot a death glare at Pinkie who sat down a harumphed “Ugh, bring forth Applegeddon, summon the Bunnyacolypse, unleash Rainborak, convince the griffon government that we stole a precious artifact, Teleport Canterlot into the ocean, and dropping a celestial body onto the planet… or both of them. Me and Luna apologize for that last one.”

"We apologize for nothing." Luna muttered

“And.” Sunset Shimmer glared up at her former teach

Celestia rolled her eyes “And anyone who so much as mentions that Sunsets hair looks like bacon must serve seven days dungeon.”

From their spot on the stands Luna’s gaming group looked on confused, Luna saying “We will arrange different transport methods.”

The group nodded in agreement as Celestia finished addressing the agitated populace. Just as things were winding down Trixie, with a book labeled Pastafarian Spells and Tricks, said “Oooh, THIS is how the spell goes!” as her horn began to light

In a panic the group turned to her ‘Trixie n-”