The brightly burning candles cast shadows across Calamus' face, as he said, "There's nothing wrong with me, just like I told you. So, your herbs and potions aren't going to work on me." He began to pace, walking back and forth in front of the black, visibly irritated. Calamus hated staying still. The longer you stayed still, the less active you are when you need to be moving. He didn't want to take any unnecessary risks.
Zecora shook her head. "What you really need is not a physician, but to have someone fix your disposition." She began to walk towards him, and he immediately jumped backwards, bumping into a wall, and knocking some of the tribal masks down.
"You stay away from me!" he yelled. The flames illuminated his face, and dimly burned behind his eyes. One of his hind legs began to twitch as he backed away from the zebra. "I promised Twilight that I would come out here. I did what was asked."
Zecora began to walk towards him again, as she tried to soothe him. "Child, I-"
Calamus turned tail and bolted towards the door. He shoved it open, and galloped away from the hut as fast as he could. He'd always been a good runner, and he'd had quite a bit of practice. He could feel her eyes following him, but it didn't concern him. His dark blue body was hard to make out in the darkness of the Everfree Forest, and his mane was so dark, that no one could tell for sure what color it was. He blended into the night perfectly. But, he was still being watched.
After a few minutes of hard running, he slowed down to a walk. Why had he decided to come out here anyways? He could put up with Twilight's complaining. After all, most of the time, she left him to his reading. She always had errands to run, or books that needed reshelving in other parts of the library. She didn't know what she was talking about. He wasn't paranoid.
Somewhere in the woods, a timberwolf howled. Calamus froze. He should have grabbed a candle on his way out. He could barely make out the path in front of him, and couldn't see two feet into the forest. For all he knew, something was lurking only a few steps away from him. He looked up at the tangle of branches and leaves, and noticed that he couldn't even see the sky. That should have been obvious, he thought to himself. But, he had to keep watching what was in front of him, and around him. He had to.
In the distance, the sound of hooves echoed throughout the forest. "It's just Zecora." Calamus whispered. "It's only Zecora." But, the steps sounded heavier than the zebra's. Calamus had studied the creatures of the Everfree Forest. He had read upon them extensively. There was no creature that made that noise. There was no creature that would simply lurk behind, instead of striking down it's prey. And there was no creature that would dare leave the forest, he told himself. Calamus began to walk a little bit faster.
He eyed the trees. What lay behind them? Manticores? Hydras? He couldn't shake the feeling that somepony was watching him. Of course, he always felt that someone was watching him. Probably because something was. Did that make him paranoid? Or was it just that he noticed things? A book that was a few inches away from where he had left it. A journal placed on the wrong shelf. An inkpot that held a little less than it had when he last used it. If it had been large changes, he wouldn't have been worried. Maybe he was just being scatterbrained.
No, Calamus told himself. He wasn't forgetting things. Things were being moved. It wasn't very often, but he noticed. It was slight mistakes that revealed the truth. It was as if something had been moved by accident, and then put back. Of course, there was always somepony in the library. In truth, Calamus spent most of his time there. Being at home, alone, just worried him too much. Better to stay where he could write, and read, knowing that somepony was there, and it wasn't just a horrible, suffocating darkness.
The footsteps grew louder. They were still far away, but definitely louder. Whatever lay behind was keeping a faster pace than Calamus. It unnerved him, and set him on edge. His walk became a trot. It had to be Zecora. That's all it was. She probably wasn't coming after him with harmful intentions. She was just worried. That was it. She thought that she could help. But, Calamus didn't need help. He just needed to get away, get back to where it was safe. Back to the comfort of the candlelight, the sounds of pages turning and quills scratching against the paper. Some nights, when he was especially on edge, Twilight would stay up with him, and read. She wouldn't say anything, just go over some ponderous tome that she had pulled off one of the shelves. He missed that. Perhaps she would still be awake, and she would read with him.
He tried to keep that thought burning in his mind, but it didn't seem very bright. How long had he been walking? He had to be close, didn't he? Time didn't seem to move in the forest. No matter when it was on the outside, it was always night in here. He didn't know how any sane pony could live in the darkness. And yet, it had it's own cold comforts. There was a small comfort in not thinking, but knowing that something was watching you. It was a disturbing thought, and Calamus tried to get it out of his head.
Some days, Twilight wouldn't need help on her errands, and Spike would stay and mind the house. He was a strange companion, but he was fun to be around. Calamus could see why everypony liked the purple dragon so much. He always had some new story, or a joke he had heard from somepony around town. Nopony that Calamus had ever met had quite as sharp a tongue as Spike did, and the two of them would have long conversations, as they talked about whatever was on their mind. There weren't very many people who comforted Calamus, but Spike and Twilight always seemed to bring a smile to his face.
There were very few sounds in the forest. Calamus had read a great deal of books, and there were quite a few stories where somepony walked alone in a dark forest. They always talked about how frightening it was, with everything that surrounded them. The sound of howling wolves, and of snapping twigs. The sight of perceived monsters, and threatening dead trees. That didn't scare Calamus. No, what scared him was the utter lack of sights and sound. In front of him, laid a dark path. To the sides, lay a dark forest. And behind him, was even more darkness. And the only things that Calamus heard were the sounds of his hooves against the ground, and the sound of another set, behind him, growing ever closer.
It was hard to say exactly how far away the creature was. All he knew was that it drew closer, and closer, and closer. Calamus no longer believed that it was Zecora. She would be carrying a lantern. Even she didn't know the forest that well. Nopony knew everything that lay in the forest, waiting for somepony to come trotting by with no light.He started moving by faster, hoping that the things' footsteps would recede.
What would Twilight do? She would use some kind of magic. Light up her horn, perhaps, and show the way, show that perhaps there really was nothing to fear. Or she would teleport back to the library, back to where it was safe. Calamus couldn't do that. He was an earth pony. He couldn't flap his wings and fly away. He couldn't defend himself with magic. He had never been very athletic, save running. And, even with that, he wasn't even close to the best. Big Macintosh and Applejack could outrun him without even trying. No, he had nothing to protect himself. He just had to get out of the forest.
Why was he so anxious to get back to the library? After all, the best way to learn was hands-on, wasn't it? Calamus should stay. Calamus should stop running. Turn around. Yes, that's a good idea. Walk into the darkness. Let it consume him. Become one with the darkness. The hooves grew louder.
The sound snapped Calamus out of his daze. His heart pounded in his chest like a hammer. What was he thinking? The answer was clear in his mind, but it terrified him to his core. He couldn't bring himself to gallop at his full speed, and instead trotted as best he could. His mind felt like it was being split open.
It didn't have to be that way. Twilight didn't need him. He was just getting in the way. She smiled at Calamus, but what did that mean? It meant she was too nice to kick him out. She didn't like Calamus. No one liked Calamus. He should stay. The darkness didn't care about who he had once been. All that mattered was that he was part of it.
Calamus supressed a scream. The voice unnerved him. But, at the same time, it soothed him. It understood his fear, his sadness, his anger, and his pain. It accepted him. Who else would do that?
Twilight would. Twilight would always accept him. Her smiles weren't fake. She truly cared. Otherwise, she wouldn't spend time with him. She would avoid him. She would have made up some reason for him to leave, or something like that. No, she cared. Even when she was in a bad mood, she always had time for him.
Ah, that's right. She always has a smile for Calamus. But, was it genuine care behind that smile? Or perhaps, pity? A paranoid and delusional writer. Calamus calls himself a writer, but what has he actually written? He writes about what he fears, instead of facing it. Yes, Twilight must really enjoy his company. The company of the scared little pony. Embrace the darkness, Calamus, Fear nothing. Join us.
Calamus was breathing very heavily now. He was tired. How long had he been running? Hours? Days? It all blurred together. The only thing that seemed real was the sound of hooves, one after another, over and over, louder and louder, never stopping, always growing. They were like the sound of Zecora's drums, echoing in his head. He looked back, hoping to see her. He was just being paranoid, right? Everyone was right all along. He was crazy. Make the drums stop.
Yes, Calamus, you are being paranoid. There's nothing to fear. Do not fear the darkness. You are the darkness. You are one of us. Join your brethren.
Calamus has no brethren. Calamus is alone, alone in the darkness. But, there isn't any darkness. Only fire. Burning brightly, banishing the shadows. A thousand candles surrounding Calamus, protecting him.
Candles do not protect from oneself. Calamus is darkness. The darkness is Calamus. They are one.
Who is Calamus? Am I Calamus? I can't be. I am the bright candle.
No, the candle does not exist. There is no candle that can banish the shadows.
Yes, there is. Calamus began to gallop as fast as he could, every muscle in his body screaming that he could not go on. He couldn't breathe. Smoke filled his lungs. But, there was no smoke, there couldn't be. There was no fire. Calamus looked around desperately, and realized that there was a fire. It was all around him. The Everfree Forest was burning.
He began to laugh. First, just some giggles, but then hysterical laughter burst from his mouth. He could see. There was nothing to fear. He could see everything now. He looked down the path, and saw Zecora galloping towards him, looking incredibly worried. She was being ridiculous. There was nothing to fear. He began to walk over to her. She was only a few steps away, when her eyes suddenly blazed bright yellow, and her mouth twisted into a horrifying smile. In an instant, all the fires went out, and everything was pitch black.
Fear shot through Calamus. He turned around and galloped as hard as he could, adrenaline pouring through his body, and letting him run like he never had before. But, it was no use. The thing was almost upon him. He could hear it's hooves slamming against the ground, right behind him. In stories, this was always when a light suddenly shone through, and showed the way. But, there was no light. Just pure black. The creature could just reach out and grab him now, and he could feel it trying. At the last moment, Calamus turned around. There was only pure, pulsating darkness there. As he screamed, a pair of eyes opened, wiht a yellow fire burning inside of them. In a library, not too far away, a candle went out.
"I have no idea," Twilight was saying. "I've never read about anything like this. I've read dozens of books on psychological disorders, and I know everything about paranoia, but I've never heard of anything causing such a rapid mental breakdown."
Zecora stood there, silently. There wasn't very much to say. She hadn't been there in time. When she finally did find him, day had broken hours ago, and the Everfree Forest had been alive with the sounds of birds and squirrels, not the sounds that he had heard. But, there was no way of telling what exactly he had heard. He wasn't in the frame of mind to talk about it.
"What do you think about this, Zecora?" Twilight's voice trembled. She knew Calamus well, and considered him to be a close friend. And, after all the reading she had done to try to help him, all those nights that she had stayed up with him, trying to figure out what it was that afflicted him, and she couldn't do a thing.
Zecora just shook her head. "I do not know what happened this night. I hoped you could tell me what caused his fright." She looked down, hoping for some kind of answer. Calamus just laid there, curled up, mumbling unintelligibly. She caught a few words here and there, but they didn't make any sense. He did say Twilight's name quite a few times, and more than once, he had gone into hysterics.
"I looked at some of his journals." Twilight said it, not sure whether to feel guilty, or just sad. "His earlier journals were quite good notes about the creatures of the Everfree Forest. But, the farther along you get, the less sense they make. I can show you later on, if you want." Zecora nodded, in appreciation. They were both at a loss for words.
Zecora finally said, "I have lived in the forest a long, long time. The creatures submit to neither reason nor rhyme."
Twilight seemed confused. "So, you're saying that Calamus wasn't crazy? That all this time, his paranoia was justified?" For the first time, Zecora looked truly scared. Twilight knew from a glance at her, that she had no idea. "We'll have to find out. We can search the forest, retrace his steps, and find out just what happened to him."
Zecora turned away. She started the long walk back to her hut. Twilight watched her go. She was just about to head home, when Zecora stopped, and turned. "There are things in the forest that we do not know, and perhaps it's better that that is so."
In the distance, the sound of hooves echoed through the forest.