I am lost...
But he is not, so I am following.
The hoof prints are worn deep into the forest floor, they are so easy to follow. I briefly wonder just how long I have been following this pony. I have been walking for so long...I cannot remember anything else.
But in a world like this, that is not a surprise.
Those thoughts almost make me pause, but I cannot afford to do that. I might lose him, and if I lose him I might never remember anything again. That is one of the few things I know for sure.
What I know for sure...now that is a small list...
Three Important Things:
1. The world is broken.
2. By following him, I will remember, I will not be lost.
3. I was not always alone.
The last is so important to me, but so very faint. I remember one more pony traveling with me, a mare. What happened to her? She is not with me any more...she must have gotten away. She got away, and now I am alone.
Absolutely alone in these woods.
I close my eyes...
Now the woods are far behind me. I walk in the center of a dirt road, the hoof prints still so visible. The road takes me to a town, empty and silent. The houses seem to call to me, begging for something to bring life back to this small village. There doors creak in the gentle breeze, giving the illusion that something still remains here.
I pass them by, a lost lonely pony has nothing to give to them.
Just another ghost town, its inhabitants stolen away by the broken world. I briefly wonder how, what could have taken away everypony so swiftly, and yet leave the town so pristine?
What happened to them?
That question is asked so often in this world, what happened to them? I wonder if it will be my turn some day? Another pony stumbles across my cold unmoving body and wonders...
What happened to him?
But I can't think like that, I've got to keep moving, I have to be getting closer. I'm sure I'll reach him soon.
I pass by another building, but this isn't a home. No, I'm able to recognize it as a schoolhouse. Fillies and colts used to gather here to learn and laugh, to have fun in the way that only children could. Now it is as lonely as the rest of the town. But seeing it brings something up in me...a tune...a song. Something I have not remembered in a long time. Absentmindedly, I begin to sing to the sad village.
Hush now quite now, it's time to lay your sleepy head...
Hush now quiet now, all of your friends are dead...
That's not right...those aren't my words. I said them, but I didn't mean to...it was just a mistake, I've been walking for too long. How did the rest of it go?
Drifting off to sleep, the painful day behind you...
Drifting off to sleep, soon you will join them too...
Something is changing the words as they leave me mouth...so I close it. No more words, only my thoughts. Those I know cannot be changed.
I leave the lonely town behind. The tracks are still present, ground into the soft dry dirt. Where exactly is this pony going? His steps are so even, so sure. There is no hesitation, no worries. Only one thing could make somepony this assured...an escape.
I must show the same resolve, I cannot falter. I can escape, just like she did.
I close my eyes...
The cold night air passes around my body in a loving embrace. I soar though the sky, the ground so far below me. My strong wings keep me aloft as I head towards my destination. I can't wait, it will only be a few more minutes, and then I'll be...I'll be with...
I'm not a pegasus...how am I flying?
And then I'm falling, screaming into the air. The air that once held me so comfortingly now laughs as I rapidly fall away from it towards the ever growing embrace of the ground.
I scream once more for something, anything, to come help me. But there is nothing.
I close my eyes...
And she is there, steadying me on our walk. I was dreaming, or something like it, on our walk. We do not have time to stop and sleep, but somehow I am plague by these...things. Visions...or memories, I am never sure.
But she is always there to bring me out of them, to give me some strength on our journey. We are lost, but he is not. A pair of hoof prints stretch off into the distance, and we've been following them. They have to lead somewhere, hopefully somewhere better.
She nods her head towards the tracks. Right, I paused, and there is no time for stray thoughts. We both start forward, completely silent. However...I am quiet only because I choose to be. On a few rare occasions I've tried to talk to her, but she refused to speak. I wonder if that is a choice like me...or if the ability to talk was taken from her. Taken just like...like...
Like what?
Nothing, it was nothing. I do not mind the silence though. She is strong, unwavering, and wonderful. Her mane is a brilliant red, a beautiful beacon for me to follow. I reminds me of a warm fire at home, something to bring a family together on a cold dark night.
The both of us crest a grassy hill, and are immediately buffeted by a cod wind. We are blinded by a flurry of white snow. Where did this come from? The sky had been clear a moment ago! But she is still there, her fiery mane is leading the way. And the tracks are not lost, they are never lost, not even the snow could hide them.
That doesn't help with dealing with the temperature though. The piles of snow are growing so fast, and my hooves are growing so cold, tingling as numbness creeps up them. I just need to get to her, she can help me, she will keep us strong, she will...she will...
My eyes open...
She got away, she was free now. As long as I followed the hoof prints, I will be free too.
Ahead of me, there is a puddle next to this empty road. Odd, there hadn't been any rain recently. At least, none that I can remember. My footsteps seem to change on their own, drawing me closer to the small body of water. Its surface is completely smooth, like a mirror. I wonder how I look now? I might be quite the sight, no sleep, food, anything since I started walking...
The puddle is so close, just a few more inches and I could peer down and see myself...
No, I don't have time for this. What I look like doesn't matter, it won't help me escape, it won't help me get to her.
It isn't safe.
Why? Where did that thought come from? Was it mine?
But it doesn't matter now, I've passed the puddle and it is dwindling away into nothing behind me. Soon it is gone, just like the thought. There is nothing to worry about.
There is nopony here but me.
I take a deep breath to steady myself, and my eyes close...
There is a paintbrush held in one of my hooves, and a blank canvas waits in front of me. I did not know I even knew how to paint, but the brush seems to determined to prove me otherwise. My hoof seems to dance over the paper, mixing colors and spreading them perfecting, creating something even I can't identify.
Slowly, an image rises to the surface, a portrait...a family portrait. Two adult ponies, a mare and stallion, pegasi, I realize as their wings are given form. Between them is a young filly, so small, yet so happy. The three of them smile at me, and for a moment, I am tempted to smile back. But it doesn't last, of course it doesn't last.
The colors start to bleed together, wiping everything away. The families smiles begin to droop, becoming frowns, then screaming mouths.
The mare and child are overtaken by the colors, swallowed by the background. Only the barest hint of the stallion remains, an outline...an idea. The brush fall from my hoof, I can't fix this. I want to, I need to...but it is too far gone.
My eyes are open, the path awaits me, I am close. I can feel it, soon I will be free, then everything can be right again.
The sun almost seems to glare down at me as I stubbornly continue forward. It's so bright...so hot, like an oppressive force. It feels like...like...fire...
My eyes close...
The blizzard is stronger now, bits of ice as cutting at my skin, but I can still see her. Even in this storm, her mane seems to glow. I'm so close now, just a few more steps and I'll be next to her, we'll find our way out of this.
I just wish it was a little warmer...
Your wish...is my command...
What was that? That thought was in my head, but it wasn't my voice. I look around in confusion, trying to find something in the blizzard, and then I feel warm.
The chill wind still cuts at my face, but to my side, there is warmth. I turn, and she is there, I've caught up with her. She smiles at me, her fiery mane seeming to glow in the storm.
No...it actually is glowing. That is what's giving off the warmth. I look closer, and it is growing brighter.
Brighter and brighter, until it looks like a miniature sun is resting on her head. I cannot help but stare in wonder, yet when she sees my expression and follows my gaze, her eyes widen in horror. Why should she be worried? We are safe now, we can survive the storm. I smile at her in an attempt to reassure...
There is a tiny 'pop' sound...
And it is burning, everything is burning. Fire and heat is pouring from her head, chasing away the snow and ice, scorching though the ground beneath us. I am driven back from her, and she screams. I can't see her anymore, just a wreath of fire and smoke.
But I can still hear her.
Her screams echo into the night, how can she scream for so long? How much air can her lungs hold? Please, make her stop!
How did this happen? This wasn't right, we were supposed to escape, to remember together!
I try to step closer, maybe I can breach the flames, do something to help her, something to stop the pain. But I can't! The inferno is too much! Her screams reach a new level of torture, and I do the only thing I can think of.
I run.
I turn and charge off into the blizzard, away from the flames, away from the screams. The heat fades as the snow surrounds, but the screams don't. They follow me, losing neither pain nor volume. I try to run faster, but the snow won't allow it. It grips my hooves, slowing me down. I can;t take this, I can't take any more. Please, just make it stop!
The storm clouds my vision, and I close my eyes...
I open them back to the overbearing sun.
Why, why did I have to remember now? When I'm so close to the end?
She truly had found freedom...but not in the way I hoped. What am I meant to do now?
I look down, the hoof prints still wait before me. There is no other option, I must follow. It is for her sake, I tell myself, I will be free and happy enough for the both of us. She will not be forgotten.
I am almost there now, the tracks have led me into an empty field of long grass. I...know this field, it is familiar...somehow. I hold my head close to the ground, to make sure that I do not lose track of the prints in the grass. I step forward, and the top of my head bumps into something.
Surprised, I jump back and bring my head up.
It is a mirror, so tall and majestic, the glass bordered by sculpted gold. How did I manage to miss that? Slowly, my eyes focus on the smooth glass...but I can't understand what I see.
A pony stares back at me, his eyes narrowed in confusion. His eyes...they are so cold, so...hard. His coat is in tatters, hanging on to his skeleton of a body. His legs are cut and scraped, tiny drops of blood slowly tracing their way through the fur.
I turn, and he follows me. A ragged scar runs along his side, just seeing it makes me wince. I turn again and see a matching scar on the other side.
What is this? This pony doesn't look he should be able to stand, much less walk as far as I have. Exactly how much has this pony been through?
Slowly, I touch a hoof to the surface of the glass and he matches me. I stand there, stupidly hoping for some sort of answer, but the reflection refuses to acknowledge me.
Still having trouble hmm? Very well, another...gift, for you.
That voice again! It echoes in my mind, and the image in the mirror changes. The reflection...me...remains, but two more ponies join him. A mare and a filly. Gracefully, they walk up and stand beside him. Curious, I look around, but I am still alone. The mare smiles at the reflection and nuzzles the filly.
The filly...my gaze is drawn to her, especially as she rub affectionately against the reflection's leg. She steps back, her small wings buzzing furiously, like she just can't wait to fly.
She looks so much like him...so much like me.
She smiles...not at the reflection, but at me. She's so happy, so vibrant...
She must be his daughter...my...daughter...
Something snaps inside my mind...and it hurts. I scream into the air, but there is no one to hear me. Memories pour through my head, forcing me to the ground. I hold my fore-hooves against my head in an attempt to stem the flow, but it is of no use. I have remembered, and I am not allowed to stop.
I was a painter, not just of canvas, but of the skies. I would stream the clouds though the air so that their patterns would be spread all over the land as the sun shone above them. I would spend my days drifting through the air and observing my art.
I was in love, another Pegasus who had gifted me with a daughter. The little one had never understood my art, simply staring at me in naive wonderment as I tried to explain it to her. Finally I had promised that one day, I would take her up into the sky, and she would see my true art first hoof.
I had never gotten the chance.
It was another day, and the skies were perfect. I had a new idea for a work of art and had gotten a group of clouds together, but a noise grabbed my attention. It was...laughter...
Dark powerful laughter echoed through the sky, and with it...came darkness. I tried to run, fleeing into the night, but it caught me in an instant. The shadow wraps around me and I feel something grab onto my wings.
It holds me steady for a moment, like a child pondering what to do with a toy, and then something comes slicing down. It happens so quickly that I barely notice it, but then the pain hits.
My wings are gone, cut off in one smooth motion, and it hurts! I scream and scream and scream, while the laughing darkness simply lets me go. I fall towards the ground, though I manage to take some pleasure in that my landing will be the end of my pain.
But even that was not allowed to me. I am caught right before I reach the ground, and the darkness envelops me, blotting out my vision.
Oh, I have just the most brilliant idea for you!
Something grabbed my head, and that was where it all began. I woke up, alone, remembering nothing. I saw the hoof prints and I followed them. Always I followed them, and they took me...everywhere. Never the same place twice...except the beginning. I have walked through fire and ice, through empty villages and desolate graveyards. Then, somehow, I would make it to the end. Sometimes it was mirror, a lonely house...
And once...my family...my little filly...
They had been so close, waiting for me on top of a cloud, but I couldn't reach them...not without my wings. They had waited for me, acting like there was nothing wrong. I had tried, oh I had tried so had to reach. But gravity cannot be beaten with perseverance.
Then he showed up, my family vanishing upon his arrival.
Oh, you were so close. Ah well, better luck next time!
He was always there, so soon after I remembered.
I pull myself off of the ground, and smash my hooves into the mirror without hesitation, the broken shards raining down around me. He'll be here soon...
How many times had he made me go through this? How many times would he watch me be hurt and still continue forward? How many times until he was satisfied?
"Why?" I yell, for I know now that I am not alone, I have never been alone. He has always been there, watching me. "Why me?" In an instant he is there, towering over me. He gleefully rubbed his mismatched hands together.
"Why not?" and then he laughs.
That awful laugh, the dark laughter that started all of this. I turn and run faster than I have ever run before. It's pointless, I know this. I've tried it before, so many times, but it doesn't matter. Some small, foolish part of me hopes that it might work.
His laughter stops, and then there is fire. Flames leap up all around me, rushing through the dry grass, and then she is running beside me. She is burning and screaming, I try to get away from her, but she won't let me. Her screams get louder, and then shift into crazed laughter. She howls into the sky, and I cannot escape.
Her crazed noise drowns out everything, ringing in my ears.
The flames blot out everything, burning into my eyes.
There is nothing left of the world now, only fire and laughter.
I don't even know if I am running any more, maybe I've just collapsed, maybe this will finally be the end. Maybe the fire will catch me, burn me to nothing, make me free.
I close my eyes...and something grips my head...
I open my eyes, and I am in the middle of a dark forest. What happened? How did I...
I try to focus, to remember something, and slowly it comes to me. A list...a very short list.
Three Important Things:
1. The world is broken.
2. By following him, I will remember, I will not be lost.
3. I was...always alone.
I've been walking for a long time, but I am close. My eyes fall on a set of hoof prints going through the dirt.
I am lost...
But he is not, so I must follow.
I stand up, and begin walking. Hopefully, this will lead to somewhere better.
