Poker Night in the Cellar

by Pancakes.

Rating: teen
Tags: Trixie, Apple Bloom, Spike, Comedy, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6
Length: 2622

Applejack hosts a poker game.

Today, Applejack hosts another poker game in her cellar after a healthy amount of reviewing rules, hands, and such of Hoofington Hold 'Em with her friends. With everyone having 1,000 bits each, who will walk away with them all at the end of this nail-biting tournament?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First shot at a comedy. Constructive criticism is wanted.

Also, it has been awhile since I've played poker. Sorry if I screw anything up about the rules even after re-re-reading them.

Published 2012-10-19 19:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-19 19:10:02 UTC

Poker Night

It was late at night; around 12:30 AM at the earliest. Luna's bright moon was shining gloriously. Not a pony was stirring in Ponyville at this hour.

However, where Applejack lived was considered 'Rural Ponyville'. Here, in the cold, musky cellar, sat Applejack and seven others, looking at eachother over a poker table while listening to some smooth music.

Tonight, the stakes were high with a one-thousand bit buy in. ...Actually, Applejack had stopped by the bank and picked up 7,000 bits. No legitimate gambling took place that night. However, tension was still as high as one might expect it to be at a poker table with 7,000 bits on it.

"Alrighty. Everyone should know all th' rules 'n' such bah now. We ready?"

"Yes, darling."

"Of course."

"Yeah."

"Eeyup."

"Mmhmm..."

"I sure am! Let's get this show on the road, AJ. I got a trip t' Manehattan tomarrow."

"...Manehattan? Fer wut?"

"Business. Let's get going!"

With a grunt coming from Applejack shortly after, she started dealing out the cards, giving two to each pony. After a quick glance at his cards, Big Mac covered them back up and looked at his sister. "...Sis, why ain't Pinkie 'ere? She wus here last time."

Applejack blinked. "...'N' you remember what happened last time, right?"

"...Oh, yeah..." He responded, recalling the night a week ago where the pink pony walked away with 7,000 bits in a mere two rounds.

"'Zactly. Can't have 'er 'n' 'er... Weird... Pinkie sense. Ruins the game."

"Eeyup..."

Applejack quickly scanned the order the ponies would go in: Rarity, Spike, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Big Mac. "Now! Mac, you got the 10 blind, I got the 5. Rarity, you first."

"...Hmmm... In." Rarity shoved 10 bits into the center.

Before Spike could move, he was interrupted by a rather loud complaint from Applebloom, who was spectating. "Aww, AJ, wha can't I play yet! I know my math!"

"Hun, not yet. Just wait awhile, 'kay?" She said, trying to be sympathetic.

After a small nod, Spike looked at his cards. Pulling off his best poker face, he looks up and throws in 10 bits. "In."

Before anyone could even glance towards who was next, a "No way!" came from Twilight, who shoved her cards away as if they were a pair of rotten eggs.

"...That bad, eh?" Said Rainbow, pulling off an unreadable expression.

"Yeah. ...Um, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy looked at her cards. "...Erm... I don't... Know..."

"Oh, come on! You're like this every time! Get a move on, Flutters!" Rainbow said, annoyed.

Fluttershy shoved her cards away from her.

"Finally. Thank you! Now, I'm gonna... Raise." She said charismatically, throwing in at least 75 bits.

A few suprised looks were gotten from around the table. Applejack looked at her cards. "...Eh... No." She said, pushing them away reluctantly.

Big Mac followed. "Eenope."

Rarity sighed. "Every time, Rainbow. Every. Single. Time. ...Fold." She said, sighing again as she pushed them away."

Spike looked at everyone else. "...Sweet Celestia, you people are bad at reading bluffs. Call." He said, throwing in 75 bits.

Rainbow suddenly adapted a hue of red similar to Big Mac's. "...Alright then! Flop!"

Applejack leaned over and flipped over three cards; A three of spades, a seven of hearts, and a jack of clubs.

"Oh come on!!" Rainbow yelled, finding no use of the cards in front of her.

"Rainbow! Tone it down a notch! Granny's asleep!"

"Pfft, like anyone could wake that old bat up..."

After a glare from Applejack, Rainbow folded. "It's yours, Spike." She sighed.

Spike raked in his chips and looked at his considerable pile. This reminded him of something; the time he went on a rampage. That wouldn't happen again, and he'd be sure of it. But... But they were so shiny... he had to have them all. And he knew he would, because he knew he was the best poker player in this room. Keeping patience in mind, he nodded at Applejack. "Go on..."

After a quick regrouping and a shuffle, cards were dealt out again. Now, Big Mac had the 5, and Rarity the 10.

"Spike. Yer move."

After careful consideration, he threw in 10 bits. "I'm in."

Twilight did the same, using her magic to shove a small stack of bits into the center. "Uh-huh."

Fluttershy sighed, and shoved her cards away from her.

Rainbow Dash merely batted a few into the middle, not saying a word.

Applejack and Big Mac both threw ten more in, nodding.

Applejack leaned forward and showed three cards; An ace of clubs, a ten of clubs, and a nine of hearts.

Rarity's face lit up as if she found a gemstone. She immediately tried to wipe it off, however. "Ermm... Check."

Spike tapped the side of the table with two of his claws.

Twilight did the same with her hoof, looking at Spike's claws in admiration... Such a complex appendage.

Rainbow Dash threw in ten bits. "Raisin' like Celestia's sun!"

Applejack chuckled. "I'll call that, and raise ten." She shoved in twenty.

Applejack's smug look was wiped off when she saw Big Mac shoving a few towers towards the middle. "Callin', 'n' raisin 230."

A few "Ooo"s and "Aaah"s were heard around the table. Focus went to Rarity.

"...I was hoping to hold onto this, but, I guess I'll just call." She said, pushing in 230.

Spike sighed. Big Mac was like a burnt book. Impossible to read or piece together. He looked at his cards, sighed, and folded.

Twilight looked at her cards once again. "...I'll call that..." And shoved another stack into the middle.

Rainbow looked flustered. "...Heheheh, no." She shoved her cards away.

"You take this bull by th' horns, you better be ready, Mac." Applejack declared as she shoved in an appropriate amount of bits.

She flipped over another card; A two of diamonds.

Big Mac dropped his head onto the table, muttering "Celestia damn it." under his breath. "Check."

The rest of the people still in did the same thing.

Applejack put down the last card; A king of diamonds.

A chain of checks were all heard. Nobody wanted to lose more than two-fifty.

"Alright, everypony. Big Mac, flip 'em."

Big mac flipped his over, revealing a queen of clubs and a three of hearts.

"Oooh, so close..." Rarity flipped hers over smugly, revealing an ace of spades and a six of hearts.

Twilight giggled. "Pocket tens!" She chimed, revealing a ten of hearts and diamonds.

"Durnit!" Applejack shouted, folding over a king of clubs and a four of hearts.

Twilight floated her winnings over to her, quickly counted, and the game went on.

Applejack shuffled and dealt out he cards. She could almost swear that the cards had started glowing blue for a moment, though.

The blinds were passed. Rarity with the 5, and Spike with the ten.

Twilight giddily floated over ten bits, still happy from her big win.

Fluttershy folded again. This was met by a round of sighs. Applejack looked at her shy friend. "...Y'know, th' whole point 'f this is t' take risks."

"Oh, yes, I know. It's just..." She trailed off.

Shaking her head, Applejack motioned for Rainbow to continue.

"Naw." She said, folding.

"Well, I'm in." She tossed more bits in.

Big mac simply nodded, carefully sliding over another small stack.

Rarity opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted again. "Dangit, AJ! How long is this gonna take with... mrglrfrghlr... Seven people!"

"Y'know, I'm not forcin' ya t' be here."

"You said either here or bed!"

"'Zactly."

After a groan from Applebloom and a few stiffled chuckles, Rarity went on. "Oh, I believe this ones are RICH..." She said as she shoved her entire pile of 740 bits into the pot.

After a few gasps, everyone looked at Spike. "...Call!" He said, challenging Rarity as he shoved about three fourths of his bits in.

Twilight shook her head and bumped her cards away.

Applejack and her older brother both shoved their cards away silently.

"...Well, since y'all can't do nuttin' no more, let's get this thing goin'."

The flop came down, revealing: An ace of clubs, and ace of spades, and an ace of diamonds.

"...Wh-What?!" Rarity hollered as she saw this flop.

"Ah hope ye have an ace." Applejack chuckled.

Rarity, with the dumbfounded expression on her face, was helpless. She had went all in.

Spike was trying his hardest not to laugh.

The next two cards came down; a ten of diamonds, and a ten of hearts.

"Rarity, you really need to quit rigging these things. This time it actually backfired! Not to mention the tens were unnecessarry!" Spike said as he looked at his cards. He threw them down on the table to reveal an ace and a ten.

Rarity, looking at the amount of bits she had just lost, fainted. She dropped her cards and revealed a pair of twos.

Spike scooped up all of his winnings. "I think I'm going to have to get a shovel for all of this... How did she mess up that badly?"

After a few grumbles, Applejack shuffled the cards again and dealt them out. She made certain that no magic was involved.

"Blegh. Terrible luck this evenin', eh?" She said as she dealt out the cards. "'Kay, Spike, you got the five, Twi's got the ten."

Fluttershy looked at her cards, and reached out to fold. She was stopped by Applejack.

"Whoa, whoa, again?"

"Oh, um, I'd go in if I had... better... uh..."

She showed Applejack her cards. After a disgusted look on Applejack's face, she nodded, and Fluttershy folded for the fourth time.

Dash smacked a few coins into the middle with her left wing, trying her best to look cool. "In."

Applejack looked at her cards for the first time. Pulling her hat down in disgust, she folded. "I've seen better lookin' numbers in Applebloom's math book..."

She got an immediate protest from her little sister whom she forgot was sitting next to her. "...Hey! Wut gives, AJ?!"

"What? Those things 're harder t' read than Twi's durn science books." She replied honestly. Likely too honestly, for Applebloom snorted and marched outside.

Applejack sighed and looked to Big Mac, who had shoved in ten bits.

Spike looked at his cards, biting his lip. After a few moments, he shoved 110 bits into the center. "Raising."

Twilight considered putting in 110, but then folded. "...Aw, these were good ones, too, Spike."

Rainbow nodded happily with eyes the size of grapefruits as she shoved 110 bits in without a second thought.

Big Mac looked at his cards. "...Eeyup. I'm in." He said as he shoved 110 bits in.

Applejack turned over the flop; A two of clubs, a four of spades, and a ten of spades.

"...Brilliant." Spike said as he checked.

Everyone else followed, not saying a word. Only the slight tapping of hooves would be heard.

The next rounds went on, revealing a jack of clubs and a five of diamonds without any bets.

Spike, knowing what he had to do, folded his over, revealing a pair of sevens.

"Read 'em 'n' weep!" Rainbow said as she showed her friends an ace of diamonds and a three of hearts. "A straight!"

"Damnit." Big Mac said as he showed his comrades an ace and king of hearts.

Spike chuckled at Big mac's hand. Rookie mistake...

As Rainbow scooped in her winnings, everyone looked at Applejack as she did a few tricks with shuffling, trying to entertain herself. After a moment, she looked at everyone and counted their bits. She wrote them down.

Rarity: 0

Spike: 1750

Twilight: 1750

Fluttershy: 1000

Rainbow: 1145

Me: 735

Big Mac: 620

"...Currently a tie 'tween Spike 'n' Twi. Let's go! Twi has five, Flutters has got 10." She said as she dealt out the cards.

"I'm in!" Rainbow chanted as she tossed in ten bits, smiling.

"So am I." Applejack said as she tossed her own in, smiling as well.

"Eeyup." Big Mac said as he put a rather big chunk of his bits (10) into the pot.

Spike nodded, flicking his own into the pile.

Twilight nodded, and put five in.

Fluttershy, in the round for the very first time, checked.

"Here it comes..." Applejack said as she turned over three cards; A Queen of hearts, a King of hearts, and an ace of diamonds.

Rainbow, deciding to hold off on a bet, tried to prevent from smiling wider than Pinkie pie and checked.

Applejack nodded, and checked as well.

Big Mac looked pleasantly surprised, but checked.

Spike coughed, clearly trying to cover up his own jumps for joy inside. He, having the same idea, checked as well.

Twilight raised both of her eyebrows, and checked.

Fluttershy quietly tapped the side of the table. It was inaudible.

Applejack turned another card down: the nine of hearts.

Another round of checks, with various signs of excitement from all players except Fluttershy, went by.

The last card revealed a ten of hearts.

Rainbow dash practically screamed "ALL IN!" as she shoved all of her coins into the pot.

"Oooohohooo, look who thinks they're big! ALL IN!" She shouted as she shoved her toppling piles of coins into the center of the table.

"Oh, hush, sis. You ain't got no idea what yer up for." Said Big Mac as he shoved his mediocre pile into the middle.

"Pfft, I'm not even gonna TRY to reason with you guys! All in!" Spike said as he shoved his gargantuan mound forward.

"Wow! I'm going to get So. Much. Money." Said Twilight as she hovered hers into the middle.

All eyes went to Fluttershy. "...Uh... Uhm... M-Me, too... All in." She said quietly as she pushed 990 bits into the middle.

"...Alright, since Spike 'n' Twi 're tied, only one person's gonna walk outta this mess. ...'N' that one's gonna be me!" Applejack said as she revealed a pair of nines.

"Heh. Three nines, sis? Really? Flush." Big Mac said as he folded over a three and six of hearts.

"Damn. So close." Said spike as he revealed aces of clubs and spades, having three of a kind.

"Aw, come on!" Twilight said, revealing a queen of diamonds and a king of clubs; a two pair.

"...Uh... What do I have?" Fluttershy asked.

"...Lemme see there, sugarcube. Whadaya got?"

"Uhm, I got..." She became inaudible as she whispered to Applejack and showed her her cards.

Applejack, not being able to hear her even two inches away, snatched the cards with her mouth. Her jaw dropped like a rock in an instant, dropping the two cards, once she saw what Fluttershy had.

Fluttershy had a Jack and Ace of hearts; A royal flush.

Everyone sat dumbfounded. Fluttershy, still confused, piped up. "...Uhm, is that good?"

"...Celestia buckin' damnit." Said Big Mac as he tilted his head forward, looking up. "You gotta be kiddin' me. Flutters, quit cheatin'!"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Meanwhile, outside the cellar, Trixie giggled to herself as she pulled away from a small window. "That's what that big moron gets for touching the Great and Powerful Trixie's Magical and Majestic Hat!" She said, looking up at her hat-less head. "Nopony can mess with--"

"...Uh, miss, whadaya doin'?" Piped up Applebloom, who had been eavesdropping the whole time.

"...Go away, young filly! The Great and Powerful Trixie does not wish to be disturbed!"

"But, miss, y' realise that this ain't even a real tournament? There ain't no actual gamblin'."

After an awkward silence, Trixie created a cloud of dust and galloped off into the distance.

"...Sweet Celestia, she's weirder 'n Applejack on twelve mugs 'f cider..." She said as she trotted back inside.