my little hero

by sputnikpony

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia
Length: 1075

Derpy Hooves is an agent secretly for the Royal Canterlots

Derpy Hooves is an agent secretly for the Royal Canterlots. My hopes are of the aim that this constructs comments on society

I may make this longer if you guys want this

Published 2012-10-19 19:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-19 19:20:01 UTC

be a hero :)

Twilight locked the door and shut the blinds. Spike finally left, off to hunt for gems with Rarity. The studious unicorn squealed in excitement, she’d been waiting all week for the chance to indulge her cocaine habit. Luckily, she wasn’t addicted yet so she could still wait until the moment was appropriate. Twilight didn’t want Spike to catch her, that would be a bad influence.

She moved a rug in the center of the room and levitated up the loose floorboard. She was gonna get so high.

But something wasn’t right. Twilight peered down into the little nook and saw only empty space. Someone had stolen her drugs!

She looks at the camera. “So it starts.”

—-------

“you are my little hero” says prinsess celesti to derpy. Derpy does a bow like a knight except she is a girl so knightess.
“Now secrete agent derpalicious hooves, you must stop those greedy americans” Celestia dons her hitler mustache

“Butt how, I thought americans were worthy to live like ponies?” asks derpy cause she is slow(not stupid)

“No! They all die! I need you to be my little hero and repeat 9/11” says Celesti, now crying cause it is rate sad, but sacrifices need in stopping order of idiot americans.

“I’m scrared mommy. But I understand. We need to kill all the peoples with 9/11 and save the world.” Derpalicious solemnly says, doing an action pose.

“yes, so only one thing is left. I need you to train with the canterlot elite assassins so we can get maximum murder rates!”

“Non riboflavin non-carbinated saturated blood with be spilled over 45 graves.” derpy says pulling out her samurai sword and chopping off some guys head to show her skills. They are good.

“Only 45? Oh no non o no no derpalicious. We will hunt down the families of the victims and make twilight sparkle take a poo poo in their mouths! millions!” Celestial gave off a wi cked witch laugh like the wicked witch of the east in wizard of oz. :rainbowlaugh:

“Um actually,” Derpy hooves said looking kind of embarrassed

“What is it my faithful terrorist?”

“I was hoping I could practice taking the poo poo.... maybe with you?” she says puppy dog eyes

Celestials heart warmed at the sight and she felt pride at being pony queen. She proudly rationalized “Oh yea that is a good idea. Let’s have lesbian sex too” because you guys like to read that ;)

Oh yea mommy!” derpy said, then she took off her pants(i dunno). The prinsess got off her throne and lay down on the ground. The derpy pegasus carefully put her butt against the regal prinsess’s mouth, and then took a giant big mushy poop in her mouth. Celestial rubbed her vagina and pinched the little vaginal nub, sending supreme pressure waves.

THe seen got to the royal guards and they tried to join in but derpy crashed a rc airplane into them and they exploded. It was the prototype, and she was still pooping a long log of chocofudge into the princess’s eager piehole. It wasn’t shaped like pie though so don’t think that. So they had sex for 69 more hors d’ouvres lol.

—-----------------scene change that is what this line means----------------

derpalicious went through all the training and met Sadman Hoosany that guy is sexy. Osamallama bindle taught her how to make many 9-11s happen, and then torment the families with body parts sent in pony mail. Also they exported heroin because its a good way to make money and you should try some.

Ozoneman bindle turns to her and they kiss with toungue. “He says, I spit on the graves of those stupid americans. I hope firemen die trying to rescue survivors.”

“Derpy hooves says back” Yes terrorism is funny, and ten years after it has happened let us laugh about it on peoples blogs.”

FLuttershy was there too so she says “Oh yes that is extra um funny. Who the fuck writes poetry americans are wimps”

Derpy laughed at that” I am glad I am from australia” SHe flyings in circles and sings the australian anthem. Then someone launches a crocodile at her so she has to ressle it. DONT GET STEREOTYPES IN YOUR HEAD IT WAS ACCIDENt

The general comes up. “stop clowning around you recruits and pack your backs. we’re hijacking the bitches in an hour.”

Fluttershy cries tears of joy and licks derpys butt. “I always wanted another 9-11!!”

“Only faggots don’t”

“Derpy kisses everybody in the room and then they try on the swimsuits they’re gonna where on vacation next summer.

Sadman Hoosnanny cums a rocket right through a political prisoner’s head. “That’s what you get for pretending you respect the victimns. Nine Eleven doesn’t matter, no1 cares retard”

The prisoner didn’t say anything because his brains were leaking. That is how dead works.

Derpy takes a gun out of her asshole and points it at the terrorists. “No!”

Osammysosa binladle starts crying “But I thought you want to make a glorious explosion and kill people! Like teamwork style!”

Derpy whispers dramatically, “Oh yes I do, but not with you. I want the honor all to myself. The blood all on my hands. So I’ll do this my way” She presses the trigger and their heads explode.

Let’s take a moment to remember the terrorists. Their lives are short and brutal. :fluttercry:

Derpy Hooves boards the plane on time and things are going as planned. She orders some peanuts but the old lady sitting next to her won’t stop talking and being bitch. When no one is looking, she breaks the stupid mare’s neck. Just like Applejack always wanted to do to her grandma. Just like you want to do to yours. When someone asks, Derpy tells the stewardess she is only sleeping.

Derpy reclined in her seat and thought about her mission. In only 20 minutes it would be time to hijack and kill all those idiots that think they deserve to live. Stupid ponies wasting their lives, derpy thought then she polished her machine gun. No one noticed because she has ninja training and americans are too fat.

Twenty minutes pass and she orgasms to prove it. Derpy stands up and shouts “Let’
s do this for the muffins! Everypony poops, everypony dies!”

Then she hijackles and crashes the plane killing a billion individuals. LOL she laughs in real life