Embarrassment knows no bounds
"Why Sister, why did you think that sharing those stories would be a good idea?" Luna whined to her sister, and fellow Princess, Celestia. "Look at what the Papers are saying I am!" The Night Princess said, slamming her face into a pillow to hide her tears.
Celestia looked at the Headline: Princess Luna in Secret Affair with Earth Pony Stallion. The subheading stating: claims they are "Better and More Respectable Lovers". Celestia silenced a giggle, but her sister was right this was her fault. Sometime back, after a friendly prank, she had snuck into Luna's room, and was looking for a place to spread some itching powder for her sister. While there, she found a series of notes and observations of stallions she had been watching with some interests, and one in particular, a stallion named Big Mac stuck out.
Princess Celestia knew this was the older brother of the Element of Honesty, Applejack. She was about to use this information on a new idea for a prank, when she found it: A full love story that involved a nighttime liaison with the rugged farmer, and very descriptive scenes of romance. Celestia read two pages before bursting out laughing at her little Sister's crush and what she sought in the simple farm pony, and decided this was too good to keep to herself. She passed it around and even READ it aloud to some of her Royal Guards.
They all found it funny the Princess was enjoying sharing a secret about her sister, but one guard must have talked, and before Celestia could say anything, the news ponies came to Luna, demanding an explanation. Oddly, none of the Earth Pony reporters asked her tough questions, but the Unicorns and Pegasi were very ruffled the Princess had stated her interests in that manner. Oddly, the Opliptera, Luna's special Night Guards were not upset, and in fact, cheered on their Lady Luna for finding love.
Celestia went to lean down and comfort her crying sister, but a scroll was sent to her at the very moment. She opened it up to see what Twilight Sparkle had written her, and it seemed, she too was very upset.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am sorry to hear about your Sister's private thoughts being shared by the press, but I am very upset you were the one sharing the rumors. I found out through another Guard that was in town, and I am not mad, but disappointed. I thought I wrote you about the dangers of rumors, and even that Cutie Mark Crusaders learned their lesson! Please give my regards to Luna, and if she ever needs somepony to talk to, she may visit me anytime.
Your Faithful (but disappointed) Student,
Twilight Sparkle.
'Great, even Twilight is mad at me, what else can go wrong?' she asked in her head. Just as she thought that, another letter appeared in front of her from Twilight's friend Applejack.
'I just had to say something, didn't I?' She read the letter aloud, for her sister to hear as well.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Mind explaining to me why my brother, who's probably one of the hardest working stallions I know in Ponyville is the star stallion in your Sister's dirty story? I swear I do not appreciate the joke, and expect a personal apology from the both of you!
Your Angry Student,
Applejack
"Ahh! I swear if I get my hands on that Guard I will... UGH!" Celestia threw her hooves up, but stopped feeling sorry for herself and went to hug her very upset Sister.
"It is not fair, I had been simply observing that wonderful, muscular, and burly stallion and wrote a fantasy that I had with him in my dream, and you had to take that from me? What is next, you want my plans for an adventure with little Pip? I can just see the papers now, accusing me of... I don't even want to say that!" Princess Luna lamented.
Princess Celestia did in fact see those plans, and it wasn't the fact she planned a Equestria long trip alone with the small colt that she didn't share that. It was the fact she was going to look for her imaginary friend Nessie again. "Luna I really don't think that trip is realistic anyway, you keep saying that creature is real, and even after a thousand years, I never found it."
"Nessie is real, Sister! I saw her, and she let me ride her on the Lake! They were so much happier times. Times when I wasn't publicly shamed like this!" she cried again. This clearly was getting nowhere fast, so it was decided, the Celestia would write back the upset Applejack, and hopefully talk this over a calm dinner.
Celestia told Luna her plan. "Luna, I'll handle the press, I just want you to cheer up, clean up, and for goodness sake, don't be embarrassed of a little crush! Let the Unicorns and Pegasi talk, they are merely jealous!" she reassured her sister, and they prepared for the dinner later that day.
Evening had come, and the Apples were all present at the dinner table. Apple Bloom wore her best bow, and even cleaned herself to look presentable to her Princesses, and even Big Mac wore a tie for the occasion. Applejack went over the plan for the evening once more. "Now I want everypony here to be on their best behavior! Both Princesses are comin' to dinner , and we will NOT be havin' any trouble or awkward questions for them. Is that clear Apple Bloom?"
"Yes Big Sis, but what's wrong with Princess Luna liking Big Mac? I mean, doesn't she deserve a special somepony too?" the innocent little filly asked her sister.
"Yes, but you'll learn one day that what she did and said were both really creepy, and just plain ol' wrong. I am sure she'll be happy with one of them there fancy Ponies in Canterlot." she told her sister.
Big Mac just stood in silence, apparently he was not allowed to like this attention from royalty.
"Here they come, now you all stand there, and I'll handle the rest!" Applejack ordered her siblings, and then opened the door to the Princesses before her.
"Hello there Applejack, I am so glad we can visit and talk, despite the occasion we do so now. May we come in?" Princess Celestia asked for both her and her sister.
"Of course. Let me show you around." Applejack gave a quick tour of the farmhouse, and then lead the Royal Sisters to the Dining Room. "This is my little Sister Apple Bloom, and, ahem I know you both know Big Mac." A hidden tone of anger was present on the farm mare's voice when she introduced her brother to the Princesses.
"Nice to meet you all, and you Mr. Big Mac, I... " Luna said nothing but starred into the stallion's eyes, and looked up and down his body as her mind wandered to places that it should not have gone to at that given moment.
"Eeyyup," was all the stallion said to her, but he did flash a slight smile as he sat.
"Sister, I think you have been staring for too long!" Celestia whispered to her sister, and her dark wings puffed out as she realized she was staring.
"I.. ahh apologize to you Mr. Big Mac, and especially you Miss Applejack. I didn't mean for the little story I wrote to be taken so seriously today." She decided that it was a good a time as ever to discuss the elephant in the room.
"Aahh Sucks, I forgive ya, but please make sure to keep those thoughts away from mah kin. 'Taint right what you wrote 'bout him being so willing to roll in the hay with you!" Applejack spoke plainly, forgetting there was a certain filly still present.
"What do you mean roll in the hay. Applejack? I roll in the hay with Sweetie and Scootaloo all the time when we play in the barn!" She innocently said, causing her brother to clear his throat and Celestia to stifle a small giggle from the filly's unfamiliarity of the terms meaning.
"Oh hey! Let's eat!" Applejack declared to change the subject, and so, they did.
Dinner was finished, and the night was getting late. Apple Bloom and Applejack were cleaning in the kitchen while Celestia was talking to them while waiting for her Sister to freshen up. "Again, I am so sorry about all this, It really was a case of a Guard not keeping his tongue to himself and bragging to a willing to hear newspony. I am sure things will blow over soon!"
"Ah appreciate the gesture, Princess. I am sorry for bein' so cross at yer sister. I just, I don't know. Don't wanna see Big Mac get his heart broke." Applejack said.
Meanwhile, Luna was finishing up her trip to the sink when she saw Big Mac sitting alone, and felt the need to apologize one more time, without her sister's help. "Big Mac, I want to say again, how sorry I am. I really admire your strength, your solemn look and... I can't help it, kiss me you big lug!" she said, as she leapt towards the surprised stallion.
Just as their lips met, everypony from the kitchen came out to wait on the Princess of the Night, and caught her on top of a very willing Big Mac, exchanging short kisses.
"Big Mac has a special somepony! AH told you sis! What are you?" Apple Bloom asked, as she reached into a closet to pull out a pitchfork, and threaten to attack the Night Princess who was clearly not sorry at all for her crush and getting caught.
"GET OUT OF MAH HOUSE, YOU LYING LITTLE---" Applejack screamed at the Princess, forgetting all propriety she had and was just mad that she had lied to her.
"SISTER HELP ME!" Luna screamed as she ran out of the house and flew off into the night's sky.
"Sorry, you are on your own sister." Celestia lamented her sister's impulse control, and stood with Apple Bloom as Applejack went to chase her sister out in the orchard.
"Hey Big Mac, does this mean you are each other's special somepony?" Apple Bloom asked, and Celestia eyed him carefully.
"Eeyup...err. Nope!" he said, and excused himself as he went up to his room.
"What does this all mean Princess, what was the lesson we were suppose ta learn?" the filly asked, very confused on what to think of the situation.
"I truly don't know Apple Bloom, I really don't know." Celestia told the young filly, but had to laugh at the situation, and the young Apple Bloom joined in.
Big Mac, once alone in his room, locked the door, and began to resume writing his very special poem he had written to give to the Princess when he spotted her some weeks back, watching him work. He may not have planned his first kiss with a Princess well, but he did intend to impress her, even without his sister's approval.
It had been a couple weeks since the incident involving Luna and Big Mac. Normally around this time, the two Princess sisters would have resumed their Royal prank war with each other, but Luna was not so much as speaking to Celestia anymore.
"Luna! Come on, I know that Applejack is still mad at you. On the bright side, you did finally get over that silly crush! I mean, I will admit he was a very attractive stallion, but you really must move on!" she tried to communicate the bright side of her bad encounter with the Apple family's older mare sibling.
"Go away Sister, I am not in the mood to hear it!" Luna responded. Unknown to her sister, Luna had been in communication with the red stallion since then. Although her Night Guards were beginning to despise their new roles as "love-letter" carriers. Still they were very loyal to their Lady Luna, and did what they had to for her sake.
She sent for one of the Night Guards to deliver this very special letter in the daytime, as it contained very good news for the stallion. She smiled and thought about what she wrote, "I do hope he says yes! Applejack and my sister cannot keep telling me what to do, and maybe, they will both learn a lesson out of all this!" She said, and imagined herself cuddling in Big Mac's embrace as she laid down.
A very tired Opliptera reached the outer fields of Sweet Apple Acres and delivered the Princess' letter to Big Mac as he worked the fields. He thanked the Guard and even let him a drink of his water bucket he had, before he was set to go. After reading the letter, Mac stopped the Guard and gave a quickly written note back to deliver to His Majesty.
As the obedient Guard flew off, Mac reached into a side pocket and looked over a shiny object meant for the Princess. He smiled at the sight of the mystery object, but placed it back quickly as he saw his sister coming. "Mac, what are you doing out so late by yerself? I told ya we had to do the other field and not worry about these for now. I swear even since I caught you with -- her." Applejack tried to shake the memory out of her head. Sure she wanted her brother happy, but walking in on your own brother kissing a mare in your own home was... unpleasant to recall.
A single "Eeyup" from Big Mac snapped her out of the repeating horror show in her mind.
"Well that's good to hear! You know if you really want to find yer special somepony, I happen to know about five mares who have expressed their interest. I normally wouldn't let them near ya, but I feel so bad for that night, I figure you can try and talk to them and see who catches your fancy." Applejack offered
Big Mac looked at her like she had been replaced by some clever Changeling or other shapeshifter. Nonetheless, he answered her in the only way that would get through to her stubborn nature. "Nooope!"
"But, I got some of the girls comin' tonight and you have no idea how long it took for poor 'Shy to--"
"Noope! Thanks Sis, but Noope!" Big Mac added. To further this point, he left his disappointed sister alone to head over to the other field.
Applejack stood alone but silently reprimanded herself. "Now what I am I goin' to tell the girls when they come tonight?"
Meanwhile in Canterlot, the Princesses were finally talking. They spent the day going over a few issues of the moment, a Council dispute, and trying to decide on what to do about an annoying bird who kept sneaking into the Royal Chambers. They went their separate ways, and just as Luna was alone, the Guard-turned-mailpony arrived, and delivered the response she was looking for from Big Mac.
"Sister, I have the most wonderful news! I have something I have wanted to share with you for a long time now but ---" Luna said, but was interrupted by a somewhat stressed Celestia.
"PLEASE Don't tell me it is more pictures of your friend! I told you last time, those were floating branches, and I think one of them was some sort of Pony floaty!" Celestia prepared herself for more proof of Nessie Luna was sending her through Guards while she hid in her room.
"NO! I will be preparing my trip very soon with Pip regarding that! But I need you to meet me in Ponyville, for a special dinner! I promise this won't be like last time, and I even have arranged for Sugarcube Corner rented out, so nothing embarrassing happens!" Luna said very happily.
Celestia was not convinced, for all she knew this was a proposal to the Elements to convince them to come along with her on that wild goose chase! Still, her sister was very persistent, and she agreed. "Alright, but please keep the trip a secret! The last thing I need is Twilight believing in such silly nonsense." she spoke plainly to her sister.
Luna looked at Big Mac's writing again. "I know everypony is going to be so happy for me!" She told herself and skipped along the halls happily.
"You did what?!?" Big Mac finally got an honest answer out of Applejack. She felt bad for not telling Big Mac about setting him up, but she really didn't want to hurt her friend's feelings either.
"Imma awfully sorry, but I knew you haven't been acting yourself and figured a nice dinner with the girls would calm things down!" The mare said to him.
"I have plans." he said simply to her, not wanting to dwell on the previous conversation anymore than necessary.
"Wait! No Mister, you and the girls are at least gonna talk about this! If you ain't interested that is fine an' all, but I work too hard for yer plans to get in the way!" Applejack said.
Big Mac was going to argue why it shouldn't be his duty to fix a mistake that Applejack did for her friends, but this may have been just what he needed to get back at her. "Ok, have them meet at Sugarcube Corner, I'll be there at 9 o'clock."
"I was hopin' we could--" Applejack realized her meddling couldn't make Big Mac do everything she wanted. True, she may not have liked Princess Luna, but doggone it one of her friends was bound to catch his heart!
The day was ending so she decided to head to the house early and clean up, and to tell the girls the change of plans.
Evening had come and gone, and soon 9 o'clock was here. Big Mac and his guest would be here any minute, and both Princess were coming along any minute now! "Everything is going to be so perfect! This'll be the bestest party ever!" an energetic party mare said to herself, and prepared the last batch of sweet and pies for the guest that were expected to come.
"Sister, if I didn't know any better, I would say that is Big Mac, and the other girls coming this way too?" What is going on? I swear I better not hear about you proposing them to--" Princess Celestia said to her sister but was interrupted by a now irate Luna
"FOR THE LAST TIME, NO! I won't be telling them about that trip. I have, other reasons for them to be here. You'll know soon enough! Trust me, Sis?" Luna said, yelling and then calming herself, it was so much to hold in, this news, and she just wanted to tell her sister right then and there, but it wasn't the right time.
Meanwhile, three of the five mare friends of Applejack were trying in their own silly ways to embarrass the bashful stallion, who was now regretting bring such very sweet and eager mares to hear the news he was going to share.
"I..um, I really like your bow tie Big Mac. Oh I hope I wasn't being too forward!" Fluttershy said, failing at trying to compliment or flirt with the stallion at her side.
"It's ok sugarcube, I am sure mah brother doesn't mind a few nice words. After all, you are practically family anyway! Don't be nervous, 'Shy." Applejack tried to encourage the shy mare.
"Exactly! Oh I hope we can talk a bit about some new planting theories I had been reading up on! It's so exciting to think I could help your sister, and a very handsome stallion like yourself out of a little hard work. Not saying you mind hard work with those muscles, but--" Twilight started to ramble an otherwise fine icebreaker to the poor stallion.
"Sheesh Twi! You think you can just lay off the egghead stuff for a little tonight? Besides, I am sure Big Mac wants to hear more about flying and how my latest tricks are doing!" Rainbow Dash said to her Unicorn friend. She leaned over to Big Mac's ear and whispered, "and when we get rid of the others, I can show you a mare who isn't afraid to kiss a little, unlike those rookies!"
Big Mac gulped and thankfully could hide a slight blush he had with his red coat. It was true these mares were very nice and sweet, but they were not what 'he' wanted, but what his sister did. As he thought about what was said, Rainbow asked another question. "Hey! Where are Pinkie and Rarity? Don't tell me Rarity is still getting done up with that makeup stuff?"
"Well, she volunteered to stay with Spike. Truth be told, I honestly feel she was a bit 'too fancy' of a mare for Mac. Pinkie wasn't interested in going out, but did wanna help with the meals, so we'll be seein' her soon!" Applejack informed everypony present as they walk inside and were greeted by Pinke serving both Princesses.
"Princess Celestia and Luna, what are you two doing here?" Twilight asked, as the other ponies bowed with her. As happy as she was to see her mentor, she did feel a little awkward knowing that she would be present on her first 'date' with the farmer pony.
"To be quite honest, I don't know. Luna asked me to come, as she had something to announce to you all." The Sun Princess answered, but noticed her sister looking at Big Mac with a not-so-subtle smile. "Ahem Sister, mind telling us what is going on?"
"All in good time, Pinkie please! Serve everypony, and we'll get right to the announcement!" Luna said proudly, and motioned Big Mac closer as Celestia went to be filled in all the new details Twilight had discovered.
"Is everything ready? I hope this goes perfectly, my love!" Luna whispered to Big Mac.
"Eeyup!" he answered, and hid a small grin. What the group didn't know was they planned this event with Pinkie to surprise everypony with their own big news!
After everypony was settled in and Big Mac was flirted by almost all his sister's friends, Big Mac got up and stood as Luna prepared her special announcement. "I am so glad I am able to tell you this! I have planned to tell you all this for a while, but it was Big Mac who finally convinced me to do it... I am marrying Big Mac!" The Night Princess announced finally, her cheeks bright with red and smile as wide as she could make. She summoned Big Mac over, who place a hoof ring on her he had hidden for a while
Pinkie Pie was the only one who cheered, as a mix of reactions from the other Ponies ranged from silent shock, to spitting out their drink, to stares toward Applejack, and seething rage. Princess Celestia herself, was completely frozen. She was trying to figure out what she could have possibly missed that made her sister just jump into marriage without consulting her, and what the ramification across equestria would be.
"Sister, I think I speak for everypony here when I ask HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!? I mean why would you marry this stallion after only meeting once some months back and barely speaking to him since?" the concerned Princess asked, and Pinkie laughed in the back of the room. All looked back towards her, but she refused to say anything, as she motioned she was under a Pinkie Promise.
"Pinkie doesn't have to tell you anything. Big Mac and myself have fallen for each other, and have been meeting in secret since that wonderful night. The reason we are getting married is simple however. I am heavy with foal! You are going to have another nephew or niece, dear Sister!" Luna beamed and kissed Big Mac again, while he held her tightly as well.
"Ah will not stand fer this! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS BIG MAC! What would Granny think about you? Or Ma and Pa? I can't... " Applejack was officially overwhelmed, and no other pony say anything else, until Pinkie threw more confetti in the air, happy about the news!
"Don't you girls see? Luna will marry Big Mac and they'll have a cute little foal, and then he will either moved to Canterlot as a Prince. OR! She can move down to Sweet Apple Acres and help with the farm and--"
"OVER MAH DEAD BODY SHE'LL LIVE THERE" Applejack yelled, as a very upset Celestia glared at her from her seat. "I mean, we can talk 'bout this am sure!"
Celestia was still processing this. It was all because of that prank. All because of trying to tease her sister that she would have to rule alone, while her sister gets to raise a family, and she has to take over both of their duties. "Luna I am so sorry I did this to you!" Celestia said, tears forming in her eyes.
"Um, I may be crazy, but I think Big Mac was the one who put his-- " Pinkie tried to say, but thankfully Rainbow Dash, of all ponies, stuffed her hoof in her mouth so she would not continue that line of thinking.
Luna and Big Mac went into the other room to talk, letting the reactions spread through the room. When they were sure nopony was watching them, they both started to laugh! "I knew this plan would work! Oh Big Mac, where did you come up with this? I never saw sister so afraid of anything, then the thought of either ruling alone, or having to help raise a foal." Luna asked her male friend.
"Pinkie Pie. Plus I overheard how Miss Rarity reacted when Sweetie Belle was thought to be doing something she not. Of course she wasn't, but her reaction was similar to your sister, and mine." He said simply. They continued the laugh for a bit, and looked into each other's eyes.
"I admit, I have enjoyed talking with you. My poor Guards are a little tired of flying all night for of secret letters, but it has been fun. We should calm everypony down, and tell them the truth before Pinkie explodes. I swear she holds her secrets, but she looks like she is going to pop." Luna said, giggling at the mental image.
"Eeyup" Big Mac agreed, but before they went out, he gave one final deep kiss to the Princess he had planned this revenge plot with for the past few months. They held each other for a long while, letting their hooves run over each other's body, and then shied away.
"You know, we can still write each other, if you'd like?" the blushing Princess asked the stallion.
"Eeyup!" Big Mac said, and they went to clean up the mess they created out in the room next door.
After what seemed like hours explaining the joke to everypony, and Pinkie calming down both a very upset Princess and a stubborn sister, they finally laughed at themselves for being so foolish.
"Big Mac, I am sorry I tried to tell ya who you should be with. It ain't right to do somethin' I warned the Cutie Mark Crusaders not to do. And Girls, I am so sorry I tried to force you to get with Big Mac." Applejack apologized to everypony.
"You didn't have to force me!" Rainbow Dash said aloud, and was nudged by an upset Fluttershy. "I mean, it's ok. we kind of went crazy on you too Big Mac, and well, I am sorry!" The Pegasus went up to the stallion, and instead of a playful punch she normally gave him, she quickly hugged him, and flew out before any of the others could make fun of her.
"That sneaky little... " Applejack said, but let her friend go for now.
"Um, Big Mac I am so sorry I--" Fluttershy was picked up by the gentlestallion, and hugged in a tight hug. Fluttershy would later say it was everything she ever dreamed of. For the time being however, she fainted right after the hug, and poor Applejack had to care for the mare that night.
"I really wasn't thinking logically. I should have approached this much better, and, well.. Big Mac, I respect you too much to treat you as a stallion to be won. Please forgive me? Twilight said in her own way. He of course hugged her as well, and gave her something he had taken with him as soon as he knew she was coming " Miss Smartypants?!? I missed you so much! Thank you for taking care of her!" she kissed the stallion on the cheek, and hugged her doll before leaving to pick up Spike.
Last, was Applejack and Princess Celestia. Applejack already said her piece to Big Mac, but she had to apologize for all her behavior she felt towards Luna. "Ah'm awfully sorry that I caused this. I just didn't think a Princess like you could like--well a big lug like him!" she teased her brother and he simply 'hmph' in response.
Celestia hugged her sister. "I really am sorry for spreading the story you wrote. But please, do tell me next time you have a crush! I will always be here for you little Woona! " She teased her sister, and looked to Big Mac.
She stared at the stallion judgmentally, checking him, out, looking over him, and said. "You may write her if you wish. But if you want to do anything more than that, PLEASE discuss things with me first. I don't think I can handle the Kingdom alone." she asked of the stallion, and he simply nodded.
"Sister, I agree, it may not work out with us. to be honest, I shouldn't have sneaked behind your back anyway. I hope you'll forgive me." Luna asked.
Both sisters looked shocked that the couple was willing to give up their new endorsed relationship so quickly, but rather than get mad, they hugged each of their respective sibling and left to the night.
Luna came back in, to thank Pinkie Pie one more time. Before she went back to Canterlot whispered, "we are still meeting tonight right?" to a very embarassed Big Mac.
"EEyup!" he answered nervously, not knowing what the Princess wanted to do that night. he went off into the night alone smiling over this new relationship.
Pinkie laid down after a long night cleaning up the late party, and was happy everything worked out. She was very glad that Big Mac and Luna had found their special somepony, even if it had to be a secret for a little while. A soft blue hoof reached over her body, and held her body close to the source of the hoff.
"Trixie really wants to sleep Pinkie. But when will we be able to tell everypony about us? Trixie wants to rub it in Twilight's face she has her special somepony before she did!" a very familiar magician Unicorn said nuzzling the pink mare.
"Now now, No need to be mean! It'll be happy news! I know everypony will love that we found each other!" Pinkie corrected the proud Unicorn.
"Of course. Trix--I mean, I am sorry. Good night my Perfectly Pleasant Party Pinkie!" Trixie said as she rested next to her marefriend.
"Good night, my Terrifically Tantalizing Trixie!" Pinkie answered back, and they both slept peacefully together.
