Note: I recommend reading this story when you want to relax… it took so long to write because I kept nodding off.
A.S.M.maRe.
By: BookWyrm
The weather over Ponyville was gloomy, chilly, and rainy. This was not unexpected, weather team posted a whole week in advance, a month by special request. But it ended up amounting to the sort of day where most everypony without pressing business would look out the window and decide that they would spend the day inside reading, or sleeping, or doing anything really as long as they didn’t have to go out... One might even grab a blanket and curl up in front of the fireplace to relax with coco. In any event, the cold weather amounted to a slow day within the Ponyville business district, and a particularly slow day for the Ponyville Spa.
The Spa sat off to the side of everything, but still close enough to be apart of the main shopping aria. It was a queer foreign sort of building made to look a bit like a tent. It was a butter yellow color with a tall curved maroon roof. There were windows, most draped with semi see-through fabric so as to let light in but keep the customers privacy intact. A large wooden sign hung over the door, featuring some shamrocks, a lucky horseshoe, and a long limbed, long maned mare. symbolism of the sign was a bit unclear, but the spa had existed for so long now that everyone just applied pinkies law. (just smile and accept that its happening, even if you can’t explain it)
Inside the Aloe Lotus Spa, five employees outnumbered the two customers had come in out of the rain. One had been a walleyed grey mare, Ditzy Doo, who had made an appointment under her nickname Derpy. She was being given a sauna by Vera, the owners cousin from Prance. The other customer had been Granny Smith, who was reviving a Swedish massage from Quake the masseur. Normally Quake would have recommended a less abrasive shiatsu for an elderly client, but Granny Smith was made of stronger stuff than she looked, and insisted on the rougher patting/striking Tapotement treatment from the Swedish style.
This left just three other ponies in the Spa. Aloe, Lotus, and Roxy the beautician, who worked part time.
The three mares sat is the little nook behind the main desk. In contrast to the tidiness of the rest of the spa, this room was crammed full of everything needed to run a business. Binders containing expense reports, clipboards, books, widgets, papers, stress! CLUTTER! All hidden away from the client, so as to immerse them in a calm... ( inhale) ...relaxing (exhale)...experience.
Tucked away in the stress nook, on a small table, was a miracle of modern technology, sure to become a necessity for all to have in the near future, at least that's what the Film Flam Brothers had claimed when they sold it to the spa, when they sold it to the spa. A Macintosh graphical user interface computer machine. The first of its kind! It featured a large grayish white box, called a monitor... Very technical, upon which was a glowing screen, which told you what the machine was doing. The monitor also featured a disk drive... Which nobody had disks for, and a big logo... Which was essentially a cutie mark on the lower left hoof side of the box, featuring a zap apple with a bite taken out of it. The computer also featured an array of wires which plugged into the wall... Touching these was ill-advised... Along with one that plugged into a keyboard (like a type writer but not) and a "mouse" interface device, which aided in the manipulation of a small arrow icon that flew around the screen, opening files with the push of a button on the mouse.
Aloe and Lotus had picked up the basics of the computer fairly easily. Roxy, however, who was several years younger than her bosses, had in a week mastered the gizmo, solidifying her job security for years to come.
The three mares were now gathered around the little box marveling at the latest in a long line of amazing things it did...
"The internet?" Lotus asked, her voice heavily accented with her native Swed-equine.
"Yeah," Roxy replied, "Princess Luna invented it, apparently it takes our computer here, and links it to a really big one via a phone line, then we can access any information on the big computer, or if we want, we can post our own information on a web site stored online."
"Wow, that's very interesting." Aloe replied, exchanging a look of utter confusion with her sister. "I had just been using the computer to keep track of the accounts and for Solimare."
"Me too,” said Roxy, rolling her eyes, "but now we can use it to look up information, and look at what I found yesterday, a website about Ponyville."
"Really?" Lotus looked perplexed.
"Yes, it's called FreindFiction.neigh. Apparently, because of the elements of harmony live here, and the monster attacks, and all of that other crazy stuff," Roxy giggled, it was all so ridiculous if you thought about it too much, "a lot of ponies write stories about us all and post them here."
"That’s..."
"It's awesome!" Roxy interrupted one of her bosses, quickly tapping at the keyboard and clicking the mouse... She didn't know which one. They both had that same accent. "Look at this; it's all about the Princess discussing herself as a regular pony. And this one’s about Pinky Pie going crazy, it's really scary. And this one’s about rainbow dash being adopted by a hairless ape. And this one."
"It’s kind of unsettling, don't you think?" Aloe asked. To her this sounded a little too similar to the Gabby Gums incident. Business had picked up during that time, sure. But it pained the spa ponies to have so many upset, more or less inconsolable, clients.
"What do you mean?" Roxy asked.
"Well if there's stories about all of us that means they could be writing anything about any us!" Lotus warned, understanding her sister’s concern immediately.
"Nope." Roxy said blankly.
"Nope?" the blue and pink ponies asked together, both raising an eyebrow.
"Nope."
"Why not?" the Swedeqines asked in unison.
"Because, look here," Roxy moved the mouse to a grey bar at the top of the screen that labeled... ‘Filter’... "There is a tag filter... See?"
A drop down menu had appeared, on it where lots of little picture icons, each showing a face of some pony. There were a lot of pictures... Still, Aloe and Lotus didn't see the point Roxy was trying to get across. Roxy rolled her eyes. When did old people become so clueless?
"See, none of us are in it." Roxy stated.
"So?" Lotus asked.
"SOOOOO..." Roxy drew it out, "whoever made the site doesn’t think we are in enough stories to merit a tag in the filter..." blank stares from the boss mares... Facehoof! “so we are boring and not worth a tag! That's what it means! Nobody is writing about us."
Aloe and Lotus were both a little taken aback by this realization.
"Really?" Aloe asked, "None of us?"
"Yeah, if we were in a story it would be under the Other tag..." Roxy tapped at a tiny green logo with an Other in the middle. "That means Other character."
Unbeknownst to Roxy, Aloe and Lotus's world had just been rocked. Them, the spa sister BORING!? Preposterous! They had travelled the world, seen exotic places in pursuit of their craft. Japony, Tibit, Prance, Las Pegesus, and of course their native Swedequine. Sure, they had settled down in a smaller town, lived a life surrounded by relaxation and tranquility...but buck! They had served royalty! Celebrities! Their lives were not boring... Were they?
"See for yourselves." Roxy said, thinking that she was reassuring her two bosses of their intact reputations. Instead she only served to solidify their self-doubt .
Aloe and Lotus examined the filters list, each potential character was assorted into general groups. First the local celebrities... The Elements of Harmony... That made sense, they were heroes, rising socialites. Then there where the princesses... Which made perfect sense... But then...
"Granny Smith is on here?" Lotus asked confused, what was she up to that merited a story?
"She did basically found the Ponyville economy." Roxy pointed out. Lotus mentally kicked herself; of course, Granny Smith was a big figure in Ponyville history. Why wouldn't there be stories about her?
"Ditzy has a Tag on here?" Aloe asked shocked.
“Wait what?!" Lotus, tried to think...What was Ponyville’s clumsy, muffin obsessed, mail mare up to that was so big?
"Yeah, her stories are pretty good." Roxy replied smiling fondly.
Aloe and Lotus went down the list. It seemed to just get progressively more boring in subject matter the further down they went! The Cakes? Twist? Time Turner? Lyra? BonBon? Carrot Top? Dinky Doo? Colgate? Really Colgate had a tag? And who the buck was Sombra? Nothing... It was no use... Aloe and Lotus’s sense of self-worth nosedived.
"The Internet thinks we're boring!" Aloe cried... Lotus hugged her sister to comfort her. The truth was, Aloe and Lotus had lived very, very active lives during their youth, lots of travel and such. Settling down, while enjoyable to the spa sisters, still made them a bit insecure at times. This sudden realization that their peers found them uninteresting characters in their stories was enough to shake loose some very upsetting notions.
"Oh..." Roxy was taken aback. She had still been operating on the premise that her bosses disliked being in stories. The truth was they were around, but usually as minor characters... Crud, now one of her bosses was crying, the other one looked mildly pissed.
"Listen this doesn’t really mean anything!" Roxy attempted damage control, flailing her hooves for emphasis, " look, I'm not here either, neither is Vera, or Quake! We're just hard to write about that's all... Um... Uh... CAT VIDEOS!!!" Roxy Quickly produced a YouHoof video of a cat playing a piano.
It didn’t work, at all. In fact, had Aloe or Lotus noticed the view count on that silly video (over 30 million at the time) they probably would have up and left Ponyville, gone off to Zebafrica, and not returned until they found Dr. Livingstallion, all to prove that they still had it and where not boring.
But thankfully, it was at that very moment that the front door opened causing chime of the little bell above the door. Roxy quickly composed herself and dodged passed her two sobbing bosses to meet the prospective client… or clients as it were. A big smile came across Roxie’s face.
Out of the cold and rain came two bluish grey pegasus mares, who Roxy knew very well. One had a blue spiked up mane with highlights and a cloud cutie mark. The other had a neatly combed blue mane with a pink bow and a dragonfly cutie mark. Both where soaking wet from the rain, but brightened at the sight of their friend behind the counter.
“Hi Cloudchaser! Hi Flitter! Happy Birthday!” Roxy said in the most unprofessional unspalike manner.
“Hi Roxy!” the two twin mares replied in the same unbecoming of the spa tone.
Roxy caught a dirty look from Lotus for breaking protocol. Roxy blushed in embarrassment, but then fell right into her character, her eyelids half closing in a relaxed way, her voice becoming very soothing and quiet.
“How can we help you today?” Roxy casually motioned to the area behind the counter, rolling her eyes and giving a ‘play along, I’m being watched’ look.
Flitter and Cloudchaser hid giggles behind their hooves and approached the counter, leaving a damp trail behind them.
“Actually we have an appointment for today.” Flitter said, “Our uncle Sorin gave it to us as a birthday gift, it should be under his name.”
Roxy nodded and checked the little log book that sat open in front of her. Sure enough under the short list of today’s appointments was -Sorin, 2, 10:30 AM Note: Pre Paid in Full- written in Aloes neat and tidy hoofwriting.
“Of course, I have your appointment here, which of our services would you like?” Roxy asked.
The two pegasus mares exchanged a glance…
“We were told to ask for the full service Pegasus treatment?” they replied, not entirely sure what it meant, only that their Uncle Sorin wouldn’t stop geeking out about how amazingly relaxing it was after a show.
Roxy nodded and motioned for the two mares to have a seat on the sofa in the main part of the waiting room.
“Your attendants will be with you shortly. Please take a seat over here,” Roxy then leaned forward and whispered, “and happy birthday.”
The two mares giggled again and walked over to the sofa. Flitter sat down normal, but Cloudchaser sat lyra style with her back hooves out in front of her.
Roxy disappeared back into the little office to tell her bosses about the client.
…*…*…*…*…
Aloe and Lotus where still a bit upset, but they knew that they had an obligation to their clients. They walked out and greeted the two teen mares with relaxed smiles, introduced themselves and set off to work. Because this was Flitter and Cloudchasers first serious spa treatment, they were both given a quick rundown of what the full service pegasus treatment entailed.
First they would receive a hot mineral soak with special aroma therapy oils, after that the two would be given a sauna, and then they would receive a massage including special attention to their wings. The point of the Pegasus treatment was to focus on muscle aches, relaxation, and detox. It was actually a very utilitarian selection… hooficure was removed as pegasus ponies tended to spend their days standing on soft clouds, mane work was eliminated because wind rushing through hair from flying would just muss it up. The detox portion from the sauna and oils where included to help the client sweat out some of the toxins that Pegasus ponies where exposed to in the clouds (pollution or smoke from bigger cities tended to latch onto them and soak in with sweat). The massage was included for obvious reasons, reliving muscle tension which tended to put greater strain on the backs of the average pegasus more so than other ponies… the whole process was described as simple, but luxurious.
Flitter and Cloudchaser more or less nodded along, eager to begin their treatment.
…*…*…*…*…
Flitter and Cloudchasers first treatments did not require much in the way of supervision on the part of the spa ponies. The tub soak and aroma therapy lasted for about twenty minutes, during which time the mares chatted idly about their birthday wishes, stallions, and fashion. Aloe and Lotus fished them out of the large wooden tub before they could get too pruned.
After that the clients joined Ditzy Doo in the sauna room for a good sweat. Ditzy had been in there for over half an hour and seemed content to stay in for quite a while longer. Aloe and Lotus gave Vera a much needed break from the steam, while their clients where in… good thing too, the tan spa pony looked like she was ready to pass out.
After another twenty minutes, Flitter and Cloudchaser where corralled out of the steam and to the final phase of their treatment… the massage portion. Aloe and Lotus paired off with Flitter and Cloudchaser. Each Spa pony helped her perspective client onto the special spa table, elevated off the ground to prevent any muscles strain, with a cushioned ring to cradle the clients face so they could breathe.
With Cloudchaser situated properly, Lotus walked slowly around the table and stopped at Cloudchasers head. Lotus moved her face in close and whispered into her client’s ears…
“Okay miss Cloudchaser, I'm going to start now, Just try to relax, and let go…” and began slowly caressing Cloudchasers ears. Rubbing them with her hoof tips then stroking them methodically, occasionally drawing them along the edges of the ear. Cloudchasers eyes slowly closed as she began to unwind, her breathing became drawn out and deep.
After several minutes Lotus moved her hooves down to the connection between the ears and the head. Lightly circling them with her hooves and then firmly pulling down, not enough to cause pain, but enough to cause a rush of blood flow which proved very relaxing.
Lotus then moved to her client’s lovely blue mane, running her hooves through it to massage the scalp. Cloudchases head lolled slightly at the action. Lotus could feel the scalp quiver slightly under her ministrations, an ASMR reaction. Cloudchasers scalp was tingling in a strange nerve response which served to be very pleasurable for her. Lotus smiled and slowed her hooves to a crawl, dragging out the stimulation longer so that her client could enjoy herself.
Eventually, Lotus finished with the scalp, and reached over to a padded cushion. The spa pony lifted her clients head and rested her chin down upon the pad. Lotus then dipped her hoof tips into a small bowl of rose petal lotion next to the table and began working her hooves along Cloudchasers soft jaw line and applying light pressures down her lymph nodes, draining them of any surplus pressure. Lotus then dragged her hooves Cloudchasers cheeks lightly to circle her eyebrows and apply light circular compression to her temples. Cloudchaser hummed softly as she drifted deeper into her relaxation.
…meanwhile… on the other table…
Flitter rolled her shoulders slightly as Aloe dug her hooves deep into a painful knot.
“Does this fell good?” asked Aloe, “is the pressure bothering you at all?”
The tension in the knot gave way, leaving Flitter in a state of bliss.
“This is amaaaazing!” Flitter groaned as Aloe applied pressure just above her wings. Aloe switched up her method to Swedish for a moment, destroying another knot with a series of soft strikes and pats, and then rolling the muscles into nirvana with light petrissage moving out slowly toward flitters forelegs
.
Aloe pressed her hoof tips expertly into each pressure point in Flitters fore legs, sometimes eliciting a slight hissing sound from flitter as all the tension was systematically squeezed out of her.
…meanwhile… on the other table…
“Miss Cloudchaser,” whispered Lotus into the grey mare’s ear, “I’m going to start working on your lovely wings, is that alright?”
Cloudchaser mumbled an affirmative through her daze. Wing contact was considered a very personal thing among Pegasus ponies, wings where a very sensitive thing after all. Even a simple preening treatment, was usually self-administered and done in private. But Cloudchaser was far too relaxed to feel shy about it right now.
Lotus resituated herself. She leaned forward and with her hoof, she adjusted the nearest wing so it would lean erect against her neck. Carefully she lowered her neck to grasp her teeth around the base of the wing.
“ohhhh…wow!” Cloud Chaser wings twitched a little. It felt REALLY good to have someone else do this.
Using her teeth Lotus straightened out each quill that had become dislodged or bent by everyday use. With extreme intensity Lotus worked her way up that wing, teasing the bone with her tongue. Cloudchaser moaned in pleasure beneath her, eliciting a slight giggle from Lotus.
With the feathers straitened, lotus removed the wing form her mouth. Now came the fun part. Lotus lowered her head down to Cloudchasers ears and whispered.
“I’m going to make a quick adjustment ok?”
“k…” Cloudchaser murmured, lost in the amazing felling of the preening treatment.
Lotus took hold of the wing base with her hoofs, being very careful to support the entire wing. Unpracticed hooves could do damage at this…
“Okay, breath in,” Lotus instructed, inhaling deeply herself to relax her client and slowly rotating the wing in the socket, stretching out the muscle. “…and out…” Lotus exhaled… and in one quick jerking movement, applied pressure to the base of the wing, eliciting a loud –crick- sound. Cloudchaser moaned in pleasure from the action.
Lotus finished the first wing, carefully worked it back into the folded position. She then slowly moved to the other side of the table, maintaining contact with her client all the while with her hoofs.
Lotus took hold of the second wing and, just as before brought it to lean up against her neck. Lotus preened the second wing just as the last one, moving her mouth up from feather to feather, straitening everything with expert precision. When finished, Lotus again took hold of Cloudchasers wings and leaned forward to whisper into her ear.
“Relax…” Aloe whispered, taking in a deep breath. Tingles ran down Cloudchasers scalp as her wing was rotated and stretched in preparation for…
-Crick-
“Oh wow that’s amazing…” the teen mare moaned.
Lotus smiled as she re-oriented her clients wings back down into the folded position. With the wings done the spa mare reoriented herself again so that she was now leaning over her clients back.
Lotus gently placed her hooves in between her client’s shoulder blades, kneading at the tense area for several minutes to insure all of the little knots that tended to accumulate were worked out. She then used the tips of her hooves on Cloudchasers spine, applying mild pressure with expert precision to the aria between each vertebra starting at neck and working down, silently counting them out in her head to make sure she didn’t miss any.
Lotus then slid her hooves back up along either side of the spine, applying pressure all the while. She then began to meticulously kneed and fold every muscle in Cloudchasers back, seeking out knots and pains the teen mare didn’t even know she had.
Cloudchaser was on cloud nine. Lotuses hooves were like magic, rubbing and forcing out kinks. Whenever she found tension she would dig in deeply with her hooves, rubbing and kneading until the tense spot was destroyed. The rest of the time she would alternate between firm steady pressure along a muscle or light sensual dragging of her hooves along her coat between strokes, eliciting tingling sensations that would run from her scalp all the way down her spine.
…meanwhile… on the other table…
Aloe had just finished miss flitters wings and lower back… now came he most important part. Flitters spine showed signs of compression, most likely due to repeated pushing something heavy like storm clouds. The best way to deal was this was a little bit… intimate for newer clients. With little thought, Aloe took hold of the base of Flitters tail just where it met the crop of her back.
“YIPE!” Flitter jumped in surprise.
Aloe noticed her client jump and quickly moved to calm her down, less undo all the work she had done so far.
“Shhh, Miss Flitter. Its ok, I’m just going to fix your back. Relax...Relaaax.” Aloe released her client’s tail to allow her to compose herself.
Flitter nodded and took a deep breath, releasing her tensions as she did so. Aloe is a professional, she thought, I’m acting silly.
Seeing her client was better, Aloe again grasped Flitters tail. Adjusted her grip to get the best hold, and placed her hoof on the small of the mares back.
“good, Relax…Inhale” said Aloe… Aloe gave a very precise yank at her clients tail while simultaneously pressing down on her spine.
-CRICK-
Flitters eyes glazed over as mouths of spinal tension where in an instant released in a single pop.
“…and exhale,” Finished Aloe, as she moved to check her clients spine for residual issues. The single adjustment proved to have been adequate.
Aloe moved down again, digging her hooves into the tissue of Flitters legs and haunches. pegasus ponies tended to have relatively undeveloped leg muscles due to their lesser bone mass. Aloe compensated for this by focusing more on circulation techniques, lightly patting at more fleshy areas, or lightly shaking the whole leg to promote blood flow.
Aloe came down the haunches slowly, making sure to get down to the muscles. Once covered the spa pony slid down more and carefully examined her client’s joints for damage. Finding none she moved down to the fetlocks, just above Flitters hooves. Aloe carefully worked at the bony area, teasing it slightly and working it at the joint to stimulate blood flow.
Hoof work was not really necessary here, but Aloe still used a mild caressing technique on them... Flitter turned out to be sensitive in that area, the hair on the back of her neck visibly stood up on end with each light graze.
Aloe and Lotus continued to massage their respective clients for the next half hour or so, until they began to fall into a light sleep. The spa ponies giggled quietly to themselves as Cloudchaser snored.
They ended the massages but allowed their clients to doze for another fifteen minutes before gently waking them and directing them to a room where they could shower off and make themselves presentable again. Aloe and Lotus waited for them outside, chatting quietly with one another.
“You know,” Lotus said to Aloe, “Our lives may not be as adventures as they used to be, but I really think someone would want to read about us.”
Aloe nodded in agreement and smiled.
“You are right,” she said, “what we do help ponies, that’s always interesting.”
Just then Flitter and Cloudchaser emerged from the shower with fluffy white towels wrapped around their manes and torsos.
The spa mares smiled at them.
“How do you two feel?” asked Lotus.
“Are you kidding, I feel amazing!” said Cloudchaser enthusiastically.
“I really enjoyed myself.” Said Flitter, a bit more reserved but still smiling pleasantly.
…*…*…*…*…
Aloe and Lotus waved goodbye to their clients with smiles on their faces. It always warmed their hearts to know there services were appreciated. The two spa ponies then walked back around and reentered the stress nook office behind the counter, in much higher spirits than when they left. Their beautician employee Roxy was still there.
“Hi Girls,” Roxy said smiling uneasily at her bosses from the computer, “ I’m sorry about upsetting you two earlier, but listen, just because you’re not listed in the tag filter doesn’t mean that people don’t find you interesting. Listen, if you like, I could mail to the moderators of the web site and see if they will add you two in.”
“Actually,” said Lotus, “I think we have a solution to the problem.”
Roxy’s face fell… she had a bad feeling about this.
“Take us to the internet! We will discuss this matter with it personally!” With that the two spa owners grabbed a hold of Roxy’s hooves and dragged her from the building, conceptually to go to the internet and slate it for its presumptions of them being boring… it would be hours before Roxy could get her bosses calmed down enough to explain that the Internet was not a living thing to yell at… and then thirty minutes to explain that it wasn’t something you could go visit to make revisions willy-nilly.
Just as the three mares were out the door Quake, the yellow male masseur, walked into the mini office. He had just finished with Granny Smiths massage. Quake quickly walked over to a little hoof sanitizer dispenser on the desk by the computer, he pumped down at the little thing until the bottle was empty, re-sanitizing his hooves for the fifth time in the past three minutes.
As Quake rubbed his hooves together, he glanced down at the computer screen. The Friend Fiction site had been left open by Roxy. Quake knew of the site, Roxy had shown it to him.
The yellow stallion scanned the listed stories to see if anything caught his interest.
Something did catch Quakes interest, something the mares had missed in not being stallions. A small grey box in the top bar of the screen reading...View mature... with a little box next to it. Quake, looked around, the mares had gone off somewhere leaving him all alone...
Quake sat down at the desk and dragged the mouse up to the little box icon.
-Click-
The web page reloaded. It should be noted that the green Other tag filter was still in effect.
Several new stories appeared in a new list, each with a suggestive picture of Aloe and Lotus next to them, and titles peppered with words like –Happy Ending- or –Body Slide-.
Quake scratched his chin in contemplation as he slid the mouse down to click on the first story.
-Click-
The first story loaded. Quakes eyes scanned the screen, stopped, reread a sentence several times, and then became as big as diner plates. The stallion, being a stallion, had thought about his bosses in the past, but never so… vividly.
“I could clop to this...” Quake said to himself as he continued reading.
…
About two minutes later Vera walked into the office…
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!”
Poor Vera, she hadn’t been so traumatized since her run in with the CMC hair stylists…
Quake would have some explaining to do and a sexual harassment suit to deal with the next day.
Aloe and Lotus promptly stopped all attempts in acquiring a tag on Friend Fiction. neigh, mortified at the prospect. It went through anyways… for some time after that, there was a steep rise in stallion clientele… Quake, who was allowed to keep his job, was forced to tend to all of them.
Alternative ending... Quake is a little androgynous... just keeping the bases covered here.
…
The web page reloaded. It should be noted that the green Other tag filter was still in effect.
Several new stories appeared in a new list, each with a suggestive picture of Aloe and Lotus next to them, and titles with words like –Happy Ending- or –Body Slide-.
Quake scratched his chin in contemplation as he slid the mouse down to click on the first story.
-Click-
The first story loaded. Quakes eyes scanned the screen, stopped, reread a sentence several times, and then became as big as diner plates. Wait…What?
“NOPE!” he shouted, exiting the page and walking away.
“Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! ...”
Quake Noped right out of the spa, went home, and boiled his eye balls.
Aloe and Lotus would never figure out why Quake did this, or the fresh hell they would be bringing upon their reputations by petitioning Friend Fiction.neigh for a tag in the filter… though they did notice a steep rise in stallion customers after it went through.
