Behind Blue Eyesby Typographical ErrorChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 1~Behind Blue Eyes~ Prelude Have you ever had one of those times, where something you set out to do just didn’t end how you wanted it to? They don’t usually end well do they? Either you get in trouble, or ponies get mad at you. Despite whatever intentions you had, there is no way you can fix it. Life just doesn’t seem fair like that does it? Now have you ever had one of those times, and the outcome was much more, and much better, than you could have imagined? Those times are probably some of the best you will ever have. It just seems like everything is going your way and the sun is shining just for you. These are times you will never forget. Something like this happened to me once. And I will never forget it. I may have gotten in trouble, I may have lost just about everything for it. But I didn’t care. I knew what I did was right, and I knew I had to do it. I don’t care what the other ponies thought of me. Have you ever had one of those times? If you have, I hope you hang on to the memory. Because it shows just who you really are. Chapter 1 I looked up at the large metal gate before me. I had seen it many times before, out passed the small cottages and large buildings of Baltimare. The concrete structure seemed so out of place, with its many windows, all covered by thick bars. The pure white exterior was contrasting garishly with the bright green of the forest and the pinks and yellows of the wildflowers that surrounded it. I still remembered the first time I had seen it, as a young colt looking out my window. I had asked my mother what it was. “It’s a place where special ponies go.” she had said, smiling down at me. “Stay away from there, it isn’t safe.” I had nodded and went back to my room to play, not really giving it another thought. I know now that she had been lying. She had been protecting me, at least at that young age, from the truth of what the building was. I looked a small sign on the white stone column a few feet to my left. Every few yard was another one of the columns, and in between was the interlocking metal fence. The metal one the sign had been engraved, and the lettered were still readable after years of erosion and rust. Baltimare Mental Hospital Now, looking up at the white concrete and barred windows, I am glad I listened to my mother and not ventured here. Even standing at the gate, about a hundred yards from the actual building, I could hear the sounds made by the sick ponies inside. I could have only imagined what this would have done to me as a foal. I stared up at the building for a few more moments, only to be jostled back to reality by a sharp voice to my right. “What business do you have here?” it asked in a no-nonsense voice. I looked around for the source, my eyes finally landing on a small plastic box affixed to the side of the column nearest to me. I walk over to it, locating a small red button under the speaker. “Umm, my name is Sky Spark.” I said, pushing the button in. “I was hired for the new guard position about a week ago.” I let go of the button, waiting for the response. A few seconds later, the voice came back on the speaker. “You are clear. Walk into the main building and ask the receptionist where to go.” A burst of static, and the voice was gone. A second later a loud buzz rang out, and the gate was pulled back. Shaking slightly, I stepped inside. A soon as I was clear of the gate, it closed behind me. I looked over my shoulder. Already the world seemed slightly grey from inside the walls. Underneath my hooves, gravel popped and crunched. Small bushes, reaching to about my withers, lined the skinny pathway. Small white flowers bloomed on the bushes, while pink, red, yellow, and orange wildflowers grew out behind the building. A halo of trees surrounded the building, as they had cleared a circle in the forest to make room for it. Time seemed to speed up as I walked towards the large wooden doors ahead of me. I reached them in no time. I opened the doors, finding them lighter than I would have thought, and walked inside. A blast of air conditioning was the first to meet me, followed the the cold. Compared to the humid, warm air outside, this was almost torture. I looked around, only seeing a reception desk and a pair of glass doors off to my right. I walk over to the desk, my hooves clacking against the tile floors. “Can I help you?” the mare at the desk asked. I realised I wasn’t sure what I should say. “Umm,” I started, sounding completely intelligent. “I was hired for the security job about a week ago. I am not really sure where to go..” my voice trailed off. I must have sounded like an idiot. But the receptionist just smiled and reached under her desk. A second later, a small buzz rang out, and the two glass doors slid open. “Go right in.” she said. “Three doors down on the right, then hang a left. It’s the door at the end of the hall.” She smiled again. She had a very pretty face, which threw me off a little. I nodded my thanks, seeming to have lost my voice, then turned and walked through the doors. After a few second, they shut behind me. I looked over my shoulders, noticing that the glass in the doors was one-way. I could see in, but not out. Something about that made me feel scared. I knew I wouldn’t like this place. I guess I was right. I followed her directions, and soon found myself facing a brightly polished wooden door. The sounds from the patients were even louder now that I was inside, and I found it very disconcerting. I was already on edge, and I had only been inside for about three minutes. I raised my hoof and knocked on the door, waiting for a response. After a moment, I got one. “Just a moment.” a gruff voice said. A moment later, the door opened, and a stallion stuck his head out. “Yes? What do you want?” he said briskly. I was thrown off track again. “I, ummm...”I said nervously. “M-my name is Sky Spark. I was hired--” “Ah, yes, I remember you!” the stallion said, opening to door a little wider. “Please, come in. We have some things to discus.” He turned and walked inside the room. I followed him in, feeling a welcoming blast of warmth. “I thought you might like to meet here instead of the employee lounge.” The stallion said, smiling slightly. “At least there is a heater in here.” I smiled, looking over the stallion. He had a dark grey coat with a sandy brown mane. His eyes were dark green. He walked with a slight limp, but I saw no signs of an injury. He sat down behind a desk that was the same wooden color as his door was. He pointed to a chair opposite him, and I sat down. “I normally have to tell the new recruits what they will be dealing with.” the stallion said. “But I see that you already have some basic training. Where did you get it?” This was one question I really didn’t want to answer. “My sister.” I said, my voice quiet. “She heard voices all her life, right up to the day she...died. I had to take care of her, help her when she was really bad. Comfort her when the voices wouldn’t even let her think straight. That is my prior training.” “I am very sorry to hear, but stories like that are far too common around here.” the stallion said, looking over his shoulder at a framed picture. A young filly was smiling away, a backdrop of flowers and clouds behind her. “Far, far, too common. How long did you take care of her, if you don’t mind me asking.” “Seventeen years.” I answered. “My mother didn’t want to send her to a place like this, so she kept her at home. I still think that is part of the reason she died.” The stallion nodded solemnly. “Normally we ask our recruits to take a training course, but I think you are well suited for what we are giving you.” he held out his hoof, and I shook it. “All you need to do is pass the probation period, but I think you will do just fine.” “Where do I have to go now?” I ask, more nervous than ever. “The locker rooms, two doors down. You will find your locker and uniform there. You will also find another employee, Silverhoof there. he will show your your duties.” I nod, standing up. “Thank you for hiring me. I am probably not the most qualified.” ‘No, but I can tell you have a kind heart, and you need that in a place like this.” I nod again, turning and walking out of the room. I didn’t realize until then how much I was shaking. This should be second nature to me! Why was I shaking so much? I close the door behind me, and I leaned up against the wall. Was this a mistake, I asked myself. But I knew it wasn’t. I turned and walked back down the hallway, heading towards the locker room. I push the door open, peaking inside. The room was smaller than I thought it would have been. Rows of lockers, stacked two high, ringed the white walls. Spare uniforms hung on wires at the very back of the room, flapping slightly in the air conditioned breeze. The place looked deserted, but it wasn’t. A locker off to my right closed, and a stallion stood up. He had black fur with a light grey mane. Deep violet eyes stared out at me as he turned, smiling. Small accents of Silver around his hooves was the only other color about him. He walked over and held out his hoof. I took it in my own. My purple fur stood out against his own black. “So, you’re the newbie, I take it?” he said. His voice was slightly higher than I would have thought it would have been. I nod, losing my voice again. Meeting new ponies always did that to me. “My name is Silverhoof, and it is my job to show you around this little slice of heaven.” “Sky Spark.” I said quietly. “I was told I had to get a uniform?” “Well, your locker is right over there.” he said, pointing to a locker labeled “S. Spark”. “You will need to put the uniform before I can take you into the ward.” I nod, walking over to my locker. Taped to the door is a small piece of paper with the combination to the locker. I stare at it for a few moments, then laughed. “What is it?” Silverhoof asked, walking over. I wave him off, turning back to the locker. “It’s nothing. It’s just the combination is also my birthday.” I spin the dial around, then open the door. Waiting inside is a uniform like the ones I saw on the wall, a small orange bottle of pills, and a mirror, which was turned away from me. I spun it around to face me, and was startled to see what was reflected back. My bright yellow eyes were wide, almost afraid. My blue mane was slightly disheveled, and the white stripe was less prominent, sinking in with the other color. I try my best to straighten it out, and only succeed slightly. At least you could see the white stripe clearer now. Next, I pull out the uniform, which was a white tunic, buttoning up the front, with my name sewn into it with gold lettering. I slipped it over my fore-legs, letting it fall into place on my shoulders. I buttoned up the front, then my eyes fell onto the small orange bottle. I pick it up and turn around to look at Silverhoof. “What is this for?” I ask, shaking the bottle. The pills inside rattled as I did. Silver ran a hoof through his mane. “Ohh, boy. how to explain those?” he said, turning in place a couple times. “Those are for, well, if one of the patients gets a little too....rowdy” he said, not looking at me. “We force them to take one of those, and they are out like a light. It doesn’t sound pleasant, I know. But it is better than letting them hurt themselves or us.” “I guess...” I said, putting the pills in one of the side pockets on the uniform. But there was something else inside the pocket. I pulled it out, seeing a wad of white cloth. I looked up at Silver, confused. “It’s just a handkerchief.” he said. “You never know when you might need it.” I nod, putting it back in my pocket. “What now?” “Now, I show you where you will be stationed.” Silver said, turning and opening the door to the locker room. I walked outside, closely followed by Silver. “We usually give the newbies the same patient to watch over.” Silver said, starting to walk down the hallway. I had to trot to keep up, as he was taking long strides. “She is a tough one, and she usually whips the newbies into shape in no time. But I heard you already had some experience.” he said, looking sideways at me. “So I guess it won’t be any trouble for you.” “I guess it won’t.” I agree. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t care much for Silver. “What is her..problem?” I asked, hating the term. “We don’t know exactly.” Silver said. “She has never been properly diagnosed. As far as we can guess, she has acute dementia with some Schizophrenia. She seems almost normal at times, but at others, she can get violent or severely depressed. As a result, we had to move her to the isolation ward.” We had reached the end of the hall by now, and were standing in front of another pair of glass doors. Silver pulled a keyring out of his pocket, chose one of the many, and slid it into the lock. He opened the door and stepped through, I followed, and he shut it behind me. It took me a moment to realize that this was an elevator. Silver turned to a row of button, pushing the one at the top. The elevator gave a little jolt, and began to rize. I never liked elevators. I always felt trapped inside of them. But I guessed I would have to get used to them if I wanted to keep this job. “Isolation is at the top floor.” he said. “We felt it was the best place for them. At least they aren’t hidden underground somewhere.” “It’s probably best.” I agreed, as the doors shut. ***** Her mind worked as it always had, trying to comprehend what she was seeing, even though she had seen it everyday, every second, for as long as she could remember. White. White lights. White walls. White world. That is what she knew. But she knew there was more. More color. She saw it every time she shook her head, and her mane fell across her eyes. She saw it every time that little place in the door opened. Or when they brought her food. She liked food. She especially like the colors. She was looking up at the ceiling, trying to remember how she got on her back. Wherever she was, it was soft. Comfortable. She moved, and was startled to realize something was on top of her. But she wouldn’t let that stop her. She moved some more, and whatever it was slipped off of her and onto the floor. She straightened out, placing her hooves on the floor. Suddenly, she remembered. It was this world. It wasn’t the other. A mixture of grief and relief washed over her, soon replaced by anger. She wanted to be in the other world. The other world was more fun. It had her friends. It had color. She wanted to go back, but she didn’t know how. She just went there sometimes. Just thinking about it made her head hurt worse than normal. She started to walk, remembering her normal routine. She walked around the room, as far as she could go. She made no noise, even her hoof-falls were muffled. As she walked, she trailed a small hoof around the wall, as she had always done. But she never looked over at the wall. She wondered why she had never done this, and decided to look. She had to blink several times, wondering what she was seeing. Right where he hoof was, white against white, was a small groove in the padding. The groove wrapped all the way around the room, coming back to touch her hoof again. She cocked her head, wondering where that had come from. She hadn’t noticed that the last time she looked. But then she wondered when the last time she looked was, and couldn’t remember. Had it been before the other world? It had to have been. But what did the other world look like. She felt another wave of sadness wash over her as she realized she couldn’t remember the other world. It was just a blur of colors. She slowly lowered her hoof to the floor, only to let out a gasp of pain as she put weight on it. She looked down, but saw nothing but the white floor and her white hoof. She tried again, but let out a sharp exhale as she was met with the same result. She looked around the room, remembering the feeling from the day before. She didn’t know what happened, she just hurt. She limped over to her bed, sitting on the edge. She didn’t want to hurt again, but she didn’t know what to do. She tried to think back to the other world, but she could barely remember anything. All she could remember, was a warmth. Something she was sure she had never felt before. Suddenly, she heard a noise. She looked over to the one corner. That corner. It never opened, at least that she saw. Just a small window opened every now and then, and that same face looked in at her. The only color in her white world. She heard hoofsteps, as she usually did. But she also heard something else. It sounded like voices. That was something new. She got up and limped towards the door. ***** The doors opened onto a hallway that looked completely unlike the others. Unpainted concrete walls with white tile floors went on for about twenty feet, before ending at a metal door. A small office sat off to the side, with a pile of magazines and books stacked on a chair. I looked up at Silver, who smiled at me. “Not much, I know.” he said, walking out of the elevator. “But we all worked here once. Kind of a rite of passage, you could say.” “Is she through that door?” I asked, pointing at the grey metal door at the end of the hallway. Silver nodded, gesturing for me to follow him. I walked with him, and as we got closer, I could hear a soft sound coming from the door. It almost sounded like whimpering, but I wasn’t sure. We reached the door, and Silver pulled back a small metal door near the top, about on eye level. He looked through, and frowned. But he stepped back and pointed at it. I nodded, walking forwards and looking through the hole. All I could think of at first was how white it was. The floors, the ceilings, even the very metal that held up the bed was white. Even the light was a white fluorescent bulb. But there was one thing I didn’t see. A patient. I tried to move my head to get a better view, but nothing. Suddenly, my vision was obscured by blue, black, and white. I let out a soft yell, jumping back a couple feet. When I turned back, I saw whatever the colors had been was gone. I turned to Silver, who was laughing, leaning against the nearest wall. “I knew she would do that!” he said, trying to stop himself from laughing. “She always does that when we bring in someone new.” “Those were her eyes?” I asked, startled. Silver nodded, pointing back at the small hole. “Look again, you probably scared her more than she scared you.” I give him a suspicious look, walk back up to the door anyway. I peer through, and this time, I actually got to see her. What stuck me the most, when I first saw her, where her eyes. I had never seen anything like them before. Large, very large. And blue. Amazingly blue. I don’t just mean the typical blue you see on most of the blonde mares. These eyes were the clearest blue you could ever see. Blue like the tropical oceans ponies always put on calendars. But that wasn’t what kept me looking. Every time she moved, the light would catch a speck of silver in the irises. Some mares eyes sparkled because of her make up. Hers literally sparkled. And they were deep. They looked like they went on forever. It was like looking into the morning sky, just before the stars vanish. Against my will, I tore my eyes away from hers, looking at the rest of her. Her fur was white, perfectly white. So much so that she seemed to vanish into the back wall. If her eyes weren’t open, and her mane and tail of curly pink hair weren’t there, I didn’t think I could have spotted her. But the strangest part was, she just kept staring back at me. I somehow got the feeling she was the one studying me, not me her. She cocked her head, looking at me with a mixture of fear and curiosity. She slowly stood up off the bed, and walked towards me. I was startled to see, with every other step, she limped. A soft whimper escaped her lips, the only sound I had heard her make. I looked back and forth between Silver and the pony in the cell. “How long has she been limping?” I asked. Silver shrugged, and I felt anger flare up inside of me. “She has been limping like that for a few days now.” Silver said, shrugging again. “We thought it would heal if we just left it alone.” My eyes narrowed, and I turned back to the door. I was starting to really not like him. I looked down at the door, seeing the handle and the lock. I reached down and opened the lock, pulling them metal bar out of its socket. Silver eyes widened as he saw what I was doing. “You can’t go in there!” he yelled, grabbing my hoof. “You can only go in if there is a real problem” “A patient is hurt.” I said, pulling my hoof out of his grasp. “This is a real problem.” I reached back down and opened the metal door. It squeaked on its hinges as it opened, and I heard a rustle of hooves as I stepped inside the small cell. Silver watched me with bated breath, both worried and curious about what was going to happen. The mare had backed up into the opposite corner, her eyes wide and afraid. I did my best to make myself appear less threatening. “It’s OK.” I said, my voice quiet and calm. “I’m not going to hurt you.” I slowly inched forward, moving as slow as possible. Those stunning blue eyes followed my every move, occasionally flashing back to Silver, but only for a fraction of a second before coming right back to me. “I’m not going to hurt you.” I say again. I could see her slowly begin to relax, coming away from the wall slightly. But she kept her hoof off the ground, pulling it in tight to her body. I looked over my shoulder at Silver, who was still staring at me. “Can she understand me?” “As far as we can tell, she understands a little. But we aren’t sure how far that goes.” I nod, turning back to the mare. “I am going to touch you now.” I said quietly. “Please do not be afraid.” As I said this, I pulled the white handkerchief out of my pocket. The mare just blinked at me, but she didn’t try to move. I decided to think that she understood what I was saying. I inched forwards again, now about a foot away from her. Up close her eyes were even more spectacular. The small specks of silver glittered more rapidly, and the deep blue was exactly like a sapphire. I reached out, slowly and calmly, and touched she shoulder. Immediately I felt a reaction. A visible shiver ran down her entire body. She sucked in a quick breath, and her whole body tensed. Behind me, Silver inhaled loudly, but the mare didn’t move again. She just stared at me with those beautiful eyes. I stared right back, trying to explain to her I meant no harm. After a few moments, I felt her body relax, and only then did I dare to move again. I moved my hoof down her fore-leg, the one she was holding close to her body. Gently, I pulled it away from her chest, out into the air. With my other hoof, I held up the handkerchief, twisting it and showing it to her. She watched it, mesmerized. Then I folded it until it was in a long rectangle, and I wrapped it around her hoof and wrists. I felt her try to pull away, but I kept my grip and stopped what I was doing. After a few moments, she relaxed again, and I tied a small knot in the cloth. I pulled it tight, which brought a small gasp from the mare, but then I let go. She pulled her hoof up to her body again, staring down at the cloth on her fore-leg. She looked up at me, then down at the cloth again. She cocked her head once or twice, but then her eyes lit up. She got off her haunches, still holding the hoof off the ground. But then she slowly started to lower it. She placed it on the ground, keeping most of her weight off of it. She walked a couple steps, still limping, but not as bad as before. A smile lit up her face as she took a couple happy jumps. I held out my hooves, afraid she would hurt herself. She stopped jumping immediately. But something had changed in her. The mistrust I had seen in her eyes was gone. Replaced was something else. Not quite trust, but if there was something that could be both mistrusting and trusting at the same time, that was it. She blinked at me a couple times, a small smile on her lips. I smiled back, backing out of the cell. As soon as I was out, Silver shut the door and bolted it. He slammed the shutter in place on the small hole, then turned back to me. “That was risky. Too risky.” he said, pulling me away from the door. “Do not do something like that again.” “She was hurt!” I protested. "I had to do something!” “Well, call up a medical team next time.” Silver said, depositing me next to the chair and pile of books. “You could have hurt yourself, let alone her.” He ran a hoof down his face, turning in one spot a couple times. “Just, don’t do anything like that again.” “Fine.” I said through gritted teeth. “Would you care to tell me what my job is then?” “Your job, is very simple.” Silver said. “Watch her, make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble, and try not to go crazy from boredom.” “That’s it?” I asked, stunned. “I just watch her?!” Silver nodded. “I never said it was fun, but everyone had to do it. Even I did. I am the one who brought the books in, so you’re welcome.” he said, starting to turn away. “So I just sit here, and make sure nothing happens?” I asked, unable to comprehend. Silver reached the elevator and turned around, smiling a mischievous smile. “Have fun!” Then he pressed the button and walked through the doors. I let out a sigh, collapsing into the chair. This was crazy! I should have been helping with the severe cases, not stuck up here with.... My mind stopped working there. I realized that I hadn’t asked silver her name. But then I had an idea. I got up from the chair and walked over to the cell. I pulled the hatch open, peering inside. There she sat, on the edge of her bed, looking up at me. She didn’t seem dangerous, and she barely seemed mad. But looks are deceiving. “Umm, hello.” I said. She blinked at me, a small smile returning to her lips. She raised her hoof, showing the cloth I had just put there. “I am glad it is feeling better. I just want to ask you something, is that alright?” I didn’t know if she could understand me, but she cocked her head, so I took that as a yes. “What’s your name?” There was a slight change in her demeanour as soon a I asked that. A flash of fear crossed her face and her eyes widened more than that already were. But after a few moments, it passed, and was replaced by a look of relief. She got off her bed and turned around, pointing down at a something on the bed. I squinted, trying to figure it out. She was pointing at...a bolt? No, no, that couldn’t be right.. But as soon as I figured that out, she straightened up. This time, she pointed at her shoulder. I shook my head, showing her I had no idea what she was telling me. She blinked a couple times, then held up her two front hooves. She pressed them close together, leaving a small gap between. “What...small...is it something small?” I asked, she lowered her hooves and cocked her head, blinking again. I took that as meaning correct. Then she pointed at her shoulder again. “Heart? Is that right?" She blinked a couple times more, looking around her cell. She began pointing at anything her eyes landed on. The walls, the ceiling, her bed. I tried to figure out what they all had in common. “White?” I said finally. “Something small and white.?” She blinked once, lowering her hooves to the ground. I waited for her to gesture again, but she didn’t. “Something small and white....” I rolled that around inside my mind. Finally, something jumped out at me. “Is your name Pearl?” A large smile crossed her lips, and she blinked again. She walked forward and placed a single hoof through the small hole. I looked at it, wondering what she wanted. But then I remembered what had happened to her when I touched her shoulder. That shiver that had run through her body. Carefully, I reached out to her hoof. I gingerly placed mine on hers, and I felt it again. The same shiver, almost as if she had gotten shocked. Her eyes closed, and a smile crossed her lips again. Why did this happen to her, I began to wonder. When was the last time she had been touched by another pony? She pulled away, her hoof slipping out from under mine. She blinked at me again, then turned and went back to her bed. She sat down on the edge again, facing the opposite wall. I knew Silver said that I would get bored here, but I didn’t see it happening. There was something about her, something I couldn’t place. A grace to her movements, as if every one of her small twitches and movements were planned out minutes or even hours before. I leaned up against the door, keeping my head resting against it so I could see her at all times. I tried to imagine what it was like inside her head. What she must see the world like, if she even knew what was going on around her. She didn’t seem to notice me anymore, she just focused on the wall across from her. After a while, I didn't know how much time had passed, I started to see those brilliant eyes close. She started to sway a little. Before long, she slumped sideways into the bed, eyes fully closed. Her small chest slowly rising and falling with each breath. I smiled, it had been like watching a foal fall asleep when they didn’t want to. The disheveled curly pink mane only added to the picture. I quietly closed the small hatch, tip-hoofing back to the chair. I sat down, settling in for my first day with this pony. If only I had know how much my life would change within the next week. ***** The looked up at the groove in the wall across from her. She tried to remember when the last time she had seen the walls, but she couldn’t. Everything was such a blur. She didn’t like blur. She wanted to remember. But she did remember her hoof. She looked down at it, seeing the cloth that had been placed over it. It was white, like her fur. She liked white, but she wanted something else. She was glad it didn’t hurt so much anymore, and she liked the new pony. He had helped her, unlike that other pony. She had heard that other pony yelling at the new one. That had made her mad. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see the little door opened, those yellow eyes looking through at her. Normally she would have been upset, she didn’t like ponies watching her. But he had helped her, so she didn’t mind is he watched her. She felt he was different from the others. But she couldn’t tell what. She felt that feeling in her eyes, and they began to close. That was the only other color in her life. Black. She only saw it when she closed her eyes. But she didn’t like it either. She wanted something new. Something happy. But it was only those two. That, and the color of her mane, she didn’t know the name for it. She felt her eyes close, and she fell sideways onto the bed. The last thing she saw where the yellow eyes looking in on her. She liked yellow. It was a happy color. Then her eyes closed completely, and she was taken by sleep. Chapter 2~Behind Blue Eyes~ Chapter 2 She looked around her eyes wide with fear and hope. She didn’t know where she was, but she did know one thing. She wasn't in the white place anymore. There were colors everywhere. Colors beyond anything she could have imagined. The deepest reds, scattered across the fields in front of her. The brightest greens, covering the trees and bushes. The softest blue, tinting the sky above her. There was white, she did see that, but she didn’t care. There was so little of it, and it was masked by the beauty of what she was seeing. She looked around again, unsure of how she came to be there. There were no hoofprints behind her, nor in front of her. But, slowly, the feeling of confusion left. She didn’t care how she got there. She was just glad she was there. Slowly, she picked up her hoof. It had a cloth tied around it, and she couldn’t remember why. She pulled it off with her teeth, and it fluttered to the ground, a white square against the red flowers and green grass. She put the hoof down, about a foot in front of the others. As it fell back to the ground, a shiver rolled through her body as the feeling of the soft grass caressed her hoof and leg. She took another hesitant step forward, but was brought to a halt by a noise behind her. She looked over her shoulder, fear spreading through her again. But when she saw what it was, her fear left her in a blast of joy. Several ponies, all identical to each other, were galloping over the ridge behind her. They made no noise as they ran towards her, just the sound of their hooves against the ground. She turned around to meet them, finally realizing where she was. She was back in the other world. She was home. The four ponies stopped in front of her, all smiling an identical smile. Their pink eyes sparkled and their blue manes blew in the slight breeze. She walked forward and embraced them one by one. It felt like years since she had seen them. And now that she thought about it, she couldn’t remember the last time she saw them. When she had greeted each of them, she took a step back, just looking at each of them. Their fur was white, like hers was. When they moved, it was like a giant pencil had erased the color from that part of the world. The one closest to her, the stallion, gestured down past the ridge behind them, and she nodded. As one, they took off galloping down the ridge, towards a place that she remembered so easily, but had forgot so fast. Below them, a grand meadow stood, as if waiting for them. Fields of wildflowers all different colors, blew in the breeze like a rainbow wave. A river, as blue as the sky above them, curled through flowers, occasionally catching the light from the sun and flaring up in a brilliant rainbow. She felt that familiar feeling rise in her chest. She was home, finally. And she was home with her family. Before any of the others could move, she had already raced down into the meadow. But every step she took, the meadow fell back the same amount. She felt like she was running in place. She looked back over her shoulder, and saw that her friends were falling back as well. Eyes wide, fear spreading through her, she turned and started to gallop back to them. But they continued to fall back, without moving. Slowly, the colors began to drain from the world, leaving everything white as her fur. Then, it started to turn black. It started at the corners of her eyes, then slowly moved until it was just a circle around her friends. Tears fell from her face as she saw them disappear from her vision completely. Then the black crashed down upon her, and she opened her eyes. ***** He opened his eyes, watching the sun peek its head above the forest in the distance. A small smile spread across his lips as his single yellow took in the scene around him. Just three days ago had been his twenty-first birthday, and the evidence showed. Piles of wrapping paper and cardboard boxes sat in the corners of his room. The telescope his mother had bought him sat in his window, looking out at the sun just as he was. He stretched, hearing the joints in his wings popping as she stood. It was still early morning, so he did his best to walked quietly to the window. He didn’t want to wake his mother. He especially didn’t want to wake his sister. She got so little sleep as it was, she needed all she could get. He looked out the window, watching the early morning ponies and pegasi walk and flap their ways to work. He waved at his friend, Lunar, who was on his way to the post office. Lunar looked slightly worried and flapped his way over to where he stood. “What’s wrong?” Sky asked as soon as Lunar was within earshot. Lunar’s pure white eyes were extremely worried and confused. He had once been asked to help a unicorn with a iris color changing spell. Now his irises and pupils were pure white. “I don’t know is there is a problem, but your sister is up on a cloud about fifty yards behind your house.” he said. Lunar was the only one Sky had told about his sister’s disease, so he always knew there was a problem. “She’s where!?” he yelled, sending Lunar into a backflip. He righted himself, and pointed behind him. “She’s on a cloud up in the sky.” he said again. “And she looked weird. I would hurry if I were--” Sky had flown passed him before he could even complete the sentence. He flew as fast as she could, which wasn’t that fast by pegasus standards. Even from this far away, he knew instantly what Lunar had been talking about. There was only one cloud in the sky. And a single figure was standing on it. He dropped to the ground below it, looking up at the face he loved so much. Her pure, blue fur, topped with a mane of deep purple, but streaked with white just as his own. And she looked down at him, a blank expression on her face. “What are you doing up there, Rain?” he called up. He knew he shouldn’t be showing emotion, but his voice was shaking. Rain looked back at him, her bright blue eyes staring him straight in the face, swimming with tears. “I can’t take this anymore.” she said, so quietly that he could barely hear her. “All these voices, all the words. They aren’t mine!” He words were choked with tears, and as she said them, Sky felt a single tear land on his muzzle. “I want the to stop, forever...” “Don’t say that!” he called back. “Just come down from the cloud. We can fix it.” “They aren’t mine!” she screamed back. “They say things I don’t want to hear, thoughts I’ve never thought before. I want them to stop! I want this to be over.” “They will stop.” he promised hollowly. “We’ve made them stop before, we can do it again.” But Rain just shook her head, taking another step towards the edge. She mouthed something, but sky couldn’t hear her from so far away. “Please come down!” he called again. “I will make the voices stop.” “You’ve never made the voices stop....” she said, closing her eyes. “The voices never stop. I want to be free.” “Rain, what are you doing?” At that moment, she folded in her wings, and she took a single step into the air. “Rain, STOP!!” He watched as she tumbled off the cloud, falling towards the ground. A guttural scream ripped from his lungs as he ran forward, already knowing he would never be able to catch her. Pain and anguish and misery and rage fought for the front spot in his mind. But in all this, he looked at her face as she feel. There was not a single regret present in that face he loved so much. It was perfectly calm, emotionless. Like she had just fallen asleep. But her works had stuck in his brain like a splinter in a hoof. All the times he had helped her. All the times he had fought the voices away. All the times he thought he had made her better, was a lie. He thought he had been making her better, when in reality, she was doing the same to him, at her own expense. and now, she was paying the price for it. He watched her fall, her body just feet above the ground. The world narrowed until all he could see was her, and then she too turned black. And with a flash of white, he opened his eyes. ***** I sat bolt upright in bed, a loud yell ripping through my bedroom. My breathing was ragged, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I looked around the room, eyes wide, but I saw nothing. With a sigh, I fell back onto the bed, emotions running wild inside me. For several minutes I just lay there, trying to control my breathing. I wanted desperately to cry. To just curl up into a ball and not move, but I knew I couldn’t. She wouldn’t want me to do that. I took a deep breath and pulled myself out of my bed. I looked around my room. Not much had changed since the time that memory took place. The piles of open presents were gone, however, but the telescope was still in my window, looking out over the eastern horizon. My uniform was hanging on the hook on my closet door, and I pulled it off, hearing the bottle of pills rattling inside. I walked down the stairs, jumping carefully over the one that always creaked, and landed in front of the front door. I looked at the door, knowing I had to go in to work. But I had the weirdest feeling about it. I didn’t want to and really wanted to all at the same time. But I knew I had to go in, so I rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a muffin, and walked out the door. ***** She looked around the room, a feeling of panic and fear running through her mind. She tried to remember where she was, but all she could remember was the other world. The world with colors. The world with her friends. She sat up, wondering how she had wound up on her back. She looked around the room, seeing nothing but white. Suddenly, it hit her. She was back here, in this world. She stood up, placing her hooves down on the padded floor. She left out a soft yelp, then looked down at her leg. There was something wrapped around it. Something white. Slowly, the memory dawned on her. That nice pony had put it there. It had stopped the pain. She slowly limped around the room, trailing her hoof on the wall. Once again, she decided to look at the wall. And once again, she stopped, wondering how the groove had been carved into the wall. She cocked her head, listening for any sounds. But all she could hear was her own breathing. But there would be sounds soon. There always was once she was back in this world. So she limped over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it. She tried to think back to the other world, her home. But she could only remember a shimmer of colors. She tried desperately to cling on to that shimmer, but that soon faded against the white of the room. A few minutes after that, the memory was gone completely, and she didn’t even remember the world anymore. ***** I walked back into the locker room, already wearing my uniform. Silver wasn’t in there today, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t want to talk to him anyway. I opened the locker, smiling as I spun the dial to my birthday, and I dropped the small object I had brought with me from home onto the shelf. I had decided, after watching Pearl for a day, I would start a journal. I didn’t know why I decided to do it at the time. I guess it was just something to keep my busy. I shut my locker and turned around. I was about to leave, when I saw a small object hanging from the lightswitch by the door. I walked over, and as I got closer, I noticed it was a key. A small paper note was taped to it with my name on the outside. I pulled it off the switch and flipped over the paper. Hey, newbie. This is the key to the elevator. Have fun up there! -- Silver I pulled the note off and dropped it into the trashcan by the door. Newbie, I was really getting tired of that name. But I guessed I would have to live with it. I left the locker room and headed the way we had the day before. I was really looking forward to seeing her again. But for the life of me, I couldn’t tell why. The doors opened onto that hallway again, and I stepped out, hearing my hooves clack against the laminate floor. The magazines which I hadn’t touched were still piled on the chair. But I didn’t head towards those. Instead, I walked down the hallway towards the door. Carefully, as quietly as I could, I slid back the small hatch and peered in. Instantly, i was greeted with the deepest, brightest blue I had ever seen. But I didn’t flinch this time, I smiled when I saw her eyes blink. “Hello, Pearl.” I said quietly. She moved away from the hatch, and I got a look into her room. A small metal tray was sitting by her bed, the remnants of food still on it. I looked at it for a moment, almost yelling at myself for forgetting to ask someone about that. I looked back at Pearl, who was just sitting on her bed, cocking her head at me. “Mind if I take that?” I asked softly. She blinked, but didn’t move, so I took that as a yes. I unbolted the door and walked in, keeping one eye on her at all times. But she made no attempts to move, despite the fact that the door was wide open. I picked up the tray and turned around, and that was when I saw it. I felt the tray slip from my grasp, landing on the soft padding with a muffled “Whomp”. All I could do was stare, my mouth hanging open. The entire wall in front of me, the one with the door in it, looked like it had been used as a canvas. Greens and yellows were spread across it, with dabs of oranges thrown in. I stared at it, slowly taking in what I was seeing. It was a landscape. That much I was sure. Fields of green stretched across the bottom of the wall, rising for about a foot them stopping. Occasionally, some of the green would rise higher, peaking in small mounds. It took me a moment, but I realized those were hills. The dabs of yellow and orange were flowers, I realized. Outlines of clouds looked like they had been carved in the padding. And in the upper corner, how a child would draw it, was the sun. I looked down at the try at my hooves, then back up at the scene several times, the reality slowly dawning on me. She had painted this. She had painted this with her own food. Vegetables, oats, who knows what else, all ground up into a paste then thrown together to create this scene. Slowly, I turned and faced her, but she looked away almost immediately. I gently knelt down beside her, touching her hoof, which I then realized was covered with the leftovers of her painting. The same shiver ran through her body, and she looked at me, an odd emotion displayed in her eyes. “Pearl, why did you do that?” I asked, already knowing she wouldn’t answer. She just cocked her head at me, not even blinking. I looked back at the scene. It looked like something you would see hanging in a childs room, but I knew it meant something else. Ponies just don’t do something like this, out of nowhere. “Pearl, did you even eat anything?” She just cocked her head again, not blinking. I sighed, letting go of her hoof and turning around. I walked out of the room, shutting and locking it behind me. I knew I should probably say something to someone, but that could wait. I just wanted to watch and see what she did with this. ***** Journal, Day 2. Pearl just sat there on the bed, staring at the scene. I had never seen anypony do something like that before. It was almost like she wanted to dive right in, but knew she couldn’t. After a while, I am not sure how long, maybe a couple hours, she passed out like she had the day before. When my shift ended, I went downstairs and asked Silver about this. He said it happens periodically, and it’s nothing I should be worried about. The cleaning crew would take care of it. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but it didn’t. I tried to shake the feeling, but I just couldn’t. I knew this had to mean something. P.S I dreamed of Rain again. This time I had a breakdown. I can’t keep seeing her like this. ***** Her friends rode over the ridge again, and she embraced them one by one. The sun shined down on them, making their white fur glow as they galloped over the field. Petals flew out behind them. Her heart was beating faster than ever before as she raced through the grass and flowers. She looked over her shoulder, seeing her friends right behind her. The stallion smiled mischievously, then raced ahead of her, petals hitting her in the face. She caught one on her tongue, then tore off after him. Together they raced through the flowers, hearts pumping, breath exploding from their lungs. But the whole time, they smiled. Finally, after a long while, she collapsed in the flowers, shivers running up and down her form as the petals and leaves tickled her. The stallion trotted over, breathing hard and dropped to the ground next to her. The others arrived shortly afterwards, laying down next to her as well. Their sides pressed hers, and she sighed at the feeling of contact. She turned her eyes towards the sky. It was the most brilliant blue she had ever seen. Clouds floated by, but she didn’t like those as much. They were white, and she didn’t really like white. Except for her friends. But she did like the shapes the clouds made. A shadow passed over them, and she looked around, not seeing anything. Shrugging, she looked back at the sky, and was startled to see it was completely black. She turned to look at her friends, but they were gone too. She rushed to her hooves, as, already, her world was shrinking down. Black was closing in, and she had nowhere to turn. With a deafening silence, she opened her eyes. ***** Journal, Day 3 She seemed subdued today. I don’t know why. She acknowledged me when I came in, and she seemed happy to see me. But after that, she just sat on her bed, staring at the wall. She ate, thank Celestia, and she didn’t paint on the walls again. I don’t know what has gotten into her. I have been thinking of asking around, trying to find out about her past before she came to the hospital. But I also want to know why she is so skittish all the time. What has happened to her in the past that would cause her to be like this? She’s looking at me now, like she wants to say something, but can’t. But there is still something nagging at me. When was the last time she had been outside? ***** I woke up the next morning, waiting for the sun to shine through the curtains. But instead I was jolted out of bed by a blast of thunder. I trotted over, pulling the curtains back and looking out at the sky. Rain pounded the windows,and clouds swirled in the sky. A flash of lighting, along with another burst of thunder brought a smile to my lips. This was my favorite type of weather. I stood at the window for a few moments, just looking out at the rain. Then I turned and trotted down the stairs. I grabbed my raincoat out of the closet. I hadn’t touched it in about a year, so the rubber was tough and stiff. The sleeves squeaked as I walked towards the kitchen. I jumped slightly as a particularly loud blast of thunder rolled across the sky, but smiled almost instantly. It might just be a good day. I grabbed a muffin out of the basket on my kitchen counter and headed for the door. I stepped out onto my rain-drenched lawn, hearing the sound of the drops hitting my rubber coat. Most pegasi would just fly in this weather, wearing nothing but goggles. Their own speed would be enough to create a cone of air around them and keep them dry. But there is the problem. I haven’t flown in four years. Not since Rain....died. I stopped myself there, shaking the memory off. With a small sigh, I walked out into the rain towards the hospital. ***** I arrived with very little grace, my legs and face soaking wet, and my coat sticking to my fur and feathers. I buzzed myself passed the gate and walked up towards the front doors. Rivers of water flowed past me, and waterfalls fell from the roof as the gutters carried the rain away. Looking up at the building, it suddenly seemed much more menacing than ever before. And all it took was a little rain. I opened the doors, smiling slightly at the receptionist as I walked by. She pointed at a small rack near the door where the other earth ponies had left their raincoats. I wondered if she thought it was weird that I had walked here, but nothing in her face gave that away. I walked passed her and into the hallway beyond. I stopped when I saw somepony leaning against the wall. “Hey, newbie!” Silver said as I walked towards him. I nodded slightly, walking passed him and into the locker room. “How are you liking her?” I knew who he was talking about, and I really didn’t know how to respond. “She is a lot like my sister.” I said quietly. “It hasn’t been that bad.” “That might change today.” Silver said, wrapping his fore-leg around my shoulders. “She really hates it when it thunders.” “I don’t think it is anything I can’t handle.” I said, pulling myself out of his grasp and putting my white uniform on. As I did, my journal fell out of the pocket and landed on the floor. Before I could pick it up, Silver reached for it. “What is this?” he asked, holding it up in the air. I snatched it out of his grasp and shoved it in the locker. Silver just stared at me. “It’s nothing.” I said, not looking at him. “Just a journal.” I shut the locker and walked out of the room, leaving a very confused looking Silverhoof behind me. I pulled the key to the elevator out of my pocket and shoved it into the lock. The doors opened, and I jumped in, pressing the button for the top floor. I could already tell today was not going to be a good day. The doors opened onto the hallway again. The rain was much louder up here, almost like it was inside the room. I trotted over to the chair, pushing the magazines out of the way and collapsing. I knew I shouldn’t have been so rude with my journal, but I have always been like that. Very secretive about my possessions and my feelings. That is part of the reason I am so shy around new ponies. Also, I really didn’t want Silver to know about Rain. I wanted to keep that to myself most of all. I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost didn’t hear the soft moans and whimpers coming from Pearl’s cell. When I finally heard them, I walked over quietly, trying not to startle her. I pulled the metal hatch back, not sure what I was expecting to see. But I certainly wasn’t expecting what I saw. Pearl was curled up into a ball, hiding as far as she could get herself into the corner of the room, with the blanket from her bed draped over her head. Even from where I was standing, I could see her shaking. As I watched, a boom of thunder rang out, and a scream left her throat, shrill and high. She pulled herself even tighter into a ball, which I thought had been impossible. I felt pity and sadness rise in me. How could Silver had known she would be like this!? I unlocked the door and opened it slowly. I never noticed how much the hinges creaked until right then. I saw her stop shaking immediately, and her head turned under the blanket to face my direction. I didn’t know what to do, what to say. “Umm...Hi Pearl.” I started, taking a couple steps forward. “It’s just me. I’m not going to hurt you.” She moved slightly, but I couldn’t tell what she was doing. I was only a couple steps away now. “I am just going to--OUCH!!” As soon as I was within reach, she had lashed out with her back leg, landing a solid hit to my chest. I felt my breath leave me, and I fell to my knees. I wheezed in a few breaths, trying to get the air back. I looked up, blinking away tears, but she hadn’t moved. She was back in her ball. The only part I could see of her was her leg where her hock had caught the blanket. When I felt I could breathe normally again, I stood up, rather shakily. “Pearl, please. It’s just me.” I said, taking another step forward. “I want to help you.” She didn’t give any sign she heard me, but she didn’t try to strike me again, so I took the final step towards her. Slowly, I sank to the floor next to her, so close I could feel her shaking. I just sat there for a few moments, watching the small mare tremble. Another boom of thunder rocked the hospital, and another shriek left her lungs. She struck out again with her hoof, but I quickly dodged it. Finally, she settled again, and I decided to make my move. Reaching towards her, I pulled the sheet away from her head. Her bright pink mane slowly came into view, but I saw that her eyes were closed tightly. I gingerly placed my hoof under her chin, turning her head towards me. “Pearl, it’s me.” I said, stroking her mane slightly. “I won’t hurt you. I promise.” I saw her eyelids flutter, and a second later, I was greeted with those stunning blue irises. She smiled when she saw me, and she scooted close, almost burying herself in my side. She was still shaking, but she didn’t seem deathly afraid now. It was almost like having a small animal, or a very young foal to look after. I felt my heart go out to her. She looked up at me and blinked a couple times, then turned and looked at the open door. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but I hoped she wasn’t thinking of running away. I gently ran my hoof up and down her mane, like how you would to a pet. At the same time I gingerly stroked her cheek, smiling down as I saw her eyes begin to close. They were almost completely close when another boom of thunder broke out. Her eyes flashed wide open and filled with panic. I felt her body tense up, and I almost thought she was going to strike me again. But the panic slowly faded until she was back to normal. She looked down at my chest, like she was just realizing it was me she had kicked. She slowly reached forward with her hoof, touching the spot. There was a knot there, and it was throbbing a little. She looked up at me, her eyes scared, but I shook my head. “It’s fine Pearl.” I said soothingly. “It’s not your fault.” She blinked and looked back at the door. I probably should have stopped talking there, but of course, I didn’t. “Things like that happen. Stuff always happens, Rain.” It took me a moment to realize what I had just said. And as soon as I did, I felt a wave of depression wash over me. Had I really just said that? Yes, yes I had. I looked down at Pearl, who hadn’t noticed that I just called her my dead sister’s name. She was still staring at the open door. But she reached behind her and took my hoof in hers. I hadn’t realized it, but I had stopped stroking her cheek. I started back up again, and within a few moments, her eyes were slowly fluttering back closed. And a few minutes after that, she was asleep. I couldn’t stop staring at her. I had never met anypony who gave me complete trust like this before. She just lay there, her head in my lap. Every now and then, her eyelids would flutter, or a small smile would cross her lips and then be gone. I wondered what she was dreaming about, because it looked like it made her happy. ***** I don’t know how long I sat there, but I knew it had to be hours. Her small smiles and twitches slowly faded away, until, finally, she opened her eyes and looked up at me. “Hey, Pearl.” I said quietly. “Sleep well?” She just stared up at me, like she was trying to figure something out. But, after a small moment, the smile returned to her lips, and she reached out to me. She wrapped her arm around my neck. I was taken aback by the sudden show of affection, but after a moment, I embraced her back. I felt that familiar shiver run up and down her form, and for the first time, I felt her heart race. It was incredible, how just a small gesture can make her so happy. Finally, she broke the hug, and slowly stood up. I hadn’t realized it, but the rain had slowed, and I could barely hear it now. Pearl was still staring at the open doorway, but she made no attempt to move. Instead, she turned her head towards me, blinking several times. Her eyes were trying to convey something she couldn’t, and I thought I knew what it was. She walked over and sat down on the edge of her bed again, starting to stare at the opposite wall as I had seen her do so many times before. But this time, I had to interrupt her. I walked over and sat down in front of her, blocking her view of the wall. She turned her gaze to me instead. “Pearl, sweetie.” I whispered. “Is there something you want?” She blinked one time, and her eyes lit up slightly. “Pearl, when was the last time you went outside?” She cocked her head, looking slightly to the left. A look of sadness washed over her face and into her eyes, and she shook her head at me. “You can’t remember?” She blinked, looking down at the ground. “Would you like to go outside?” Chapter 3~Behind Blue Eyes~ Chapter 3 I walked out of the hospital that day, my heart and my hooves heavy. I walked along the gravel road that led back to town, the small rocks popping and crunching under my hooves. Rain dripped from the trees overhead, occasionally splattering against my raincoat. The sky above was a sea of clouds, with points of blue scattered throughout. It looked like a tattered cloth, floating in an ocean. Birds chirped and flew overhead, and small squirrels and rabbits ran through the underbrush. It was such a lovely way to end that day. So why did I feel so down? The trees cleared, and I walked into the small park that bordered the forest. Small foals ran back and forth, swinging on the swings, playing on the fake mountain. I stayed near the outskirts, watching the foals play. Their coats were soaked from the water left over from the storm, and they were visibly shivering. But they didn’t seem to mind. Looking a little further away, I could see a couple mares, probably their mothers, standing and talking. One, a unicorn, held an umbrella next to her, waiting to see if it would rain again. I decided to sit down on the bench a few yards away from the park. A small smile crept onto my lips as I watched them play. I could remember when Rain and I used to do that, at this very park. Her, being three years younger than me, would barely leave my side. She would swing on the swing right next to me, slide down the slide right after I did. But slowly, over the months and years, she opened up, began playing with the other foals. Normally, she would be fine, and nothing bad would happen. But every so often, she would go into one of her fits. She would begin to yell at no one. She would get aggravated, sometime even violent. Because of this, every time we would show up, the park would empty automatically. I felt tears rise in my eyes, and I blinked them away. She didn’t deserve anything that had happened to her. She had been such a sweet and loving pony. She never harmed anyone while she was in right mind, and she always apologized after she came back. And now, she was gone forever. I watched the two mares call their foals to them. The foals, dripping wet, ran off towards them, laughing and playing still. They started to walk out of the park, so I decided to leave as well. I followed the stone path out of the park which eventually led to the main street. I slowly walked up the street, puddles splashing water onto my legs as I walked. From up above, Lunar called a “Hello”. I waved back, trying my best smile. But I guess he was too far away to notice how fake it was, because he just kept flying. Shame, I would have liked to have talked to him. I kept walking. The streets were almost deserted, most of the ponies were inside where it was warm. That was good for me. I had never liked being around a lot of ponies, and especially with how I was feeling, I liked it even less. Finally, my house came into view. I pulled the key out of my pocket and opened the door. Everything was how I had left it, and my closet door was still open. I hung my raincoat inside to dry, then headed into the living room. I pulled a small box off the mantle and struck a match. I threw it into the fireplace. Instantly the magical logs caught fire, filling the room with warmth and light. I collapsed into a chair, looking into the fire. I felt almost ready to pass out, but I had something else to do first. I reached into the pocket of my uniform, pulling out the journal. The small pencil was still inside the small rings, and I pulled that out as well. I opened it up and began to write. ***** Journal Day 4 I...I don’t even know what to think anymore. Rain, I am still dreaming on her. I don’t know why, after all these years. I wouldn’t mind dreaming of her, if it wasn’t.....that time. Everything that is going on in my life, that is that last thing that I want to see. I am starting to think taking this job was a mistake. Now Pearl. Pearl...she is something else altogether. She is intelligent, she is beautiful, she is so, so trusting. I have never met a pony who would give you her complete trust like that. Well, there was one. And she seems to only want one thing in this world. And it is the most unselfish want I have ever heard. She wants to go outside. I don’t know for how long, or when, but she wants to. And I don’t know how, but I am going to give her that. I don’t care if I get caught. I don’t care anymore. She needs this. She needs this more than anything. Sometime in the next couple days, I am going to do this. ***** I put the journal down, staring at the words I wrote in my chicken scratch writing. What I had written was no lie. I was going to get her out of there. I turned back to fire, watching the logs slowly turn from red, to orange, to finally a white-red tint. They never burned down though. You just had to blow on them, and they would go out, ready for use the next time. They had been expensive, but well worth the price. I could feel my eyes growing heavy, so I turned in the chair, trying to find a comfortable spot. I found myself looking at a picture of Rain and I at a fair when I was about twelve. Her eyes sparkled with delight, but mine were closed because I was laughing about something. Maybe a joke Rain had told a few minutes before, I couldn’t remember. I found the small patch of her mane that was shorter than the rest. A colt at school had put gum in her hair and called her names. She had run home crying that day, and I tried my best to comfort her. But she was very upset. In the end, we had to cut it out of her hair. She was very subdued for a long time afterwards. The fair had been the first time she smiled in a long time. I tried to remember those days, when she was at her happiest. Hopefully, this time, I would dream of those times. ***** Her friends were around her, lying in the grass next to her. A fleeting moment of panic washed over her as she tried to remember how she got there. But as she felt her friends laying there next to her, the fear faded. She relaxed, tension washing away just like water in the river. The sun above them shined down, but a small breeze kept them cool. A light scent of spring flowers wafted through the air. She felt as if she could just lay there forever, as if nothing mattered to her anymore. She closed her eyes, just for a moment, trying to remember why she had felt that feeling of dread. Minutes, hours, seconds later, she wasn’t sure, she heard hoofsteps in the grass near her. She opened one eye, shielding the glare of the sun from her face. Above her, a familiar purple face waited for her, blazing yellow eyes smiling at her. With a squeal of delight, she jumped up, embracing her friend. He hugged her back, pulling her into a close embrace. Shivers rolled up and down her body at the feeling of the touch. She turned, smiling, to the others. But the smile slipped off her face when she saw they were nowhere to be found. She spun in circles a few times, trying to find them, but she couldn’t. A wave of sadness washed over her. She turned back to her friend, who reached out a hoof to her. She took it in her own, a small smile returning to her lips. A gentle tug was all she needed, and together they walked towards the river. The grass tickled her legs as they walked, and the flowers left a trail of petals in their wake. The water was so clear, that from a distance, it looked like a piece of the sky had landed on earth. For the first time, she saw small animals scurrying around by the river. Squirrels and rabbits chased each other through the flowers and grass. Butterflies floated above the water and hopped from flower to flower. She laughed as they got closer, watching the animals frolic and play. They moved out of their way as the two of them approached the river. They almost seemed to stop and watch them. A single hoof was all she touched to the water, but still she shivered as the experience of the tepid, but still cold, water lapped against her. He smiled at her, letting her take the lead, directing them where she wanted to go. Smiling, she pulled them into the river. She sucked in a breath as the water rose above their withers, just barely touching her chin. She let go of his hoof, floating in the water. Her hooves just barely touched the bottom, but she didn’t mind. The feeling was just too incredible. He swam over to her, taking her hoof back in his own. She pointed down the river, towards the edge of the vast clearing. There were trees there. She liked trees. He blinked once, smiling. Together, they swam down the river. The only sound was their breathing, and the splash of the water. Above them, the clouds slowly rolled across the sky, reflecting themselves on the water in front of them. The soft breeze chilled their fur and skin whenever they broke the water. Their tails floated in the water behind them, looking more like flippers than hair. Every slight movement brought on another shiver as the water warmed her and cooled her at the same time. but not her hoof, clasped tightly in his. That hoof was blazing warm, the perfect temperature against the water. Their eyes met again, and she felt herself blush. she turned away, but she felt his other hoof on her cheek. He turned her head, her eyes meeting his. He stroked her cheek a few times, and she wondered why the feeling was so familiar, and so calming. she swam forward and embraced him again. She felt the warmth of his body against hers, staving off the cold of the water. She sunk into his fur, tightening her embrace. He hugged her back, stroking her mane as he did so. Finally, after a long while, she wasn’t quite sure, he broke away. But he kept his forehead pressed against hers, looking into her eyes. He gave her a small, hollow smile, and motioned for her to close her eyes. She did as she was told, waiting for him to do something. But nothing happened. Suddenly, there was no cold, no feeling of water on her skin. Frightened, she opened her eyes, seeing nothing but white again. ***** When I woke up, I realized where I had fallen asleep. Climbing out of the chair, I smiled and laughed at myself. It had been many years since I had fallen asleep there, looking into the fire. I was a young colt the last time it happened. I rubbed my eyes awake, walking into the kitchen, but I stopped almost immediately. I had forgotten something. Turning, i walked back into the living room, blew out the fire that was still blazing in the fireplace, and picked up my journal. Then I turned and walked back to the kitchen. On my way to the hallway I passed the window over the sink, and I had to do a double take on it. There was still a moon falling in the sky. I quickly looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:42. I let out a groan, mentally slapping myself. If there was one thing I wasn’t, it was a morning person. I was tempted to go back to the chair, or up to my bed and fall asleep, but I decided not to. Instead, I went upstairs to my tiny bathroom and turned on the water. I didn’t know why, but that hospital always made me feel dirty. But I had a feeling the water wouldn’t be able to clean the feeling away. And I was right. I walked back downstairs, toweling my mane dry. I pulled a muffin off the tray and sat down in the living room again, munching slowly. A stray thought wandered through my head as I looked at the pictures. Pearl, I wondered what she was doing right then. I hoped she was asleep. The poor mare looked like she never got any sleep, with those huge circles under her eyes. One thought led to another, and I found myself thinking about her past. Where had she come from? Who were her parents? What, exactly, was she in there for? I figured I would have to ask somepony about that. But then, another thought ran through my mind. I was almost four in the morning. Nopony would be there. And I had an ID card that would let me get in there. I stood up, shoving the rest of my muffin into my mouth, and grabbing my uniform. I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, but so what? If I was going to take Pearl out of the hospital, even for a night, I would probably get fired anyway. I thought this as I trotted to the door. The worst they could do is fire me. ***** Tears streamed down her cheeks as soft, whimpering moans escaped her throat. She curled herself into a ball, burying her face in her hooves, and curling her tail around herself. the teams seemed unable to stop, and they just kept coming. The cloth on her hoof was already soaked, as was the bed sheet underneath her. Her cries echoed off the walls, making her cry even harder. She sounded broken, even to her own ears. She wanted to go back. More than anything she had ever wanted, she wanted to go back. She had clawed at the walls, trying to find her way back, but all she found was white. finally, she had just collapsed on her bed. She laid there, her sorrow and pain spilling out. She didn’t know why she had left there, or how she left. She just wanted to go back. She tried to picture the place in her mind. The river, the flowers, the pony. But it was slowly fading away. Just like her memory, her pain too was fading. Slowly, the tears stopped falling, and the whimpers stopped as well. She pulled her head up, looking around the room. Her hoof rose up to her face, wiping away a tear. She looking down at it, cocking her head. Why had she been crying? Why had she been sad? She couldn’t remember. She stood up on trembling legs, looking around the room. Her efforts to escape this world, the efforts she couldn’t remember, where scattered around the edges of the wall. Gouges in the padding, strips of cloth ripped off the wall. She turned and walked around the walls, training a hoof on the padding. She was no longer sad. She was just curious. Why had she been crying? ***** I faced the gates to the hospital. The moon was shining down, casting a soft blue glow over the treetops and the grass. There were no lights on in the hospital, but the small red light on the gate was blinking. I walked forward, my ID held in my jaw. I swiped it across the scanner, and the gate slowly slid open. I rushed through, almost galloping up the walkway. I reached the doors in no time and pulled them open. I let out a sigh of relief that they were not locked. I would have hated to have come all this way just to turn around. I was met with the familiar blast of air conditioning as I opened the doors. I quickly walked through and shut them behind me. I couldn’t get her out today, I would need an entire night to get her out, let her play, and bring her back. But there was still something I could do while I was alone here. Something Pearl couldn’t tell me, but something I still wanted to know. I walked passed the receptionist's desk, and through the glass doors. I walked down the hall and turned down the second hallway, just like on my first day here. The Wardens’ office was straight ahead, wooden door shining in the dim light. I reached it and turned the handle, but sighed when I found it was locked. But a sudden thought struck me, and I pulled out my ID. I had seen this in movies countless times, but did it actually work? I guess it was time to find out. I slid the card into the small crack between the door and the wall. I moved it up until I found the deadbolt, then I gently pressed against it. After a few tries, almost dropping the ID onto the other side of the door on one try, I heard a metallic click, and the door opened a fraction. I took a shuddering breath, stepping into the office. It looked the same as when I had first been in there. The pictures of the Warden and his family were still hanging behind the desk. but I didn’t have time for those. I wanted to look at what was under the pictures. A row of metal filing cabinets stood there, looking like they wanted to be opened. i walked forward, pointing myself at the one labeled “Profiles”. I opened the drawer containing the P names, and rifled through them quickly. Finally, I found the one marked “Pearl”. I pulled it out, carefully marking it’s spot among the other files, and placed it on the desk. On the cover was her name again, with a photo of her paper-clipped to the front. She looked so young. She couldn’t have been more than a filly when it was taken. Her youth disturbed me. Somepony that young shouldn’t be here. I opened the file, revealing several pages with graphs and numbers on them. I shoved those aside, picking up the page titled “History”. My heart was racing, and a small voice in the back of my mind told me I shouldn’t be doing this, but I kept going, quickly reading over the words on the paper. By the time I was finished, I had sat on the floor, unable to stand. What I had read made me sick. My heart had ended up somewhere in my stomach, and it was a shriveled lump of what it used to be. I don’t think I had ever felt so sorry for somepony as I did right them. Swallowing back the cry that was threatening to release itself, I put the file back into it’s place, and closed the drawer. I walked out of the office, waiting until the door was closed and lock again before taking off running. My hooves clacked against the floor, but I didn’t care. I just wanted out of that place. I just wanted out. The cool night air was like needles on my face as I ran outside, barely stopping for the gate to open before I started running again. Pearl, I thought. I am so sorry. ***** Journal Day 5 (Morning) Dear Celestia, how can anypony take something like that? Pearl, no wonder she is so screwed up... Her mother was addicted to hayseed, and even took it while she was pregnant with Pearl. She then died during birth, leaving Pearl with her father. But he couldn’t take care of a foal who had been damaged by her mother, so her left her at an orphanage. But that’s not all. When she was five or so, the file didn’t specify, she fell out of her window on the second story of the orphanage and suffered a head injury. She lost her memory, and, so it seemed, her ability to speak. After that, she spent most of her time inside her room, not seeing anyone. After several months like this, she was handed over to the hospital here, and she has been there ever since. She had been stuck inside that room for years. I just....I can’t believe this. It’s disgusting. P.S If she had been alive today, Rain and Pearl would be the same age. They had the same birthday. ****** When I walked back into the hospital that morning, I tried to pretend nothing happened, which was extremely hard for me. If you ever saw me try it play cool, you would laugh your flank off. I stuttered a hello at the receptionist, then proceeded to walk straight into the glass doors. We both laughed, me blushing furiously. I pulled open the doors and walked inside, slowing down when I saw Silver standing on the other side. “Hey, how’d it go yesterday? With Pearl?” he asked, following in my stride. I shook my head and shrugged. “She was very afraid, so I tried to comfort her. She kicked me in the chest, pretty hard actually.” Silver smiled, like this thought amused him. “Yeah, she will do that. You have to watch those back legs.” he said, breaking off when we passed the locker room. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.” I said over my shoulder, continuing towards the elevator. I pulled the key out of my pocket, my journal falling to the floor again. I quickly picked it back up and shoved it back into my pocket. I stole a glance at Silver, who was eyeing me suspiciously. I just pressed the button for the elevator and walked in. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that me dropping the journal was going to come back and bite me in the flank. The doors opened onto the hallway, and I stepped out. It always struck me how quiet it was up here. Almost silent except for my hooves on the floor. I dropped my coat uniform on the chair with the magazines and walked over to the door. I didn’t hear her on the other side, not that I normally do. I pulled the hatch aside, seeing the beautiful blue of her eyes once again. As soon as I saw her, the pain of what I read rushed back. This poor pony. She couldn’t even remember why she was so screwed up. “H-hello Pearl.” I said, my words shaking. She cocked her head at me a few times, but then turned away from the door like she usually does. It was then that I got a good look inside her cell. Gouges and scraped in the padding ran across the walls. The cotton padding itself littered the floor, making small piles here and there. Pearl just walked through it, not even touching any of it, and sat down on the edge of her bed like she always did. I unbolted the door and walked in, looking around in fear and curiosity. “What...what did you do?” I felt myself ask, already knowing she wouldn’t be able to respond. And I was right. She just cocked her head and blinked. Slowly, a thought dawned on me. “You don’t know, or you don’t remember?” At the last option, she perked up, blinking once or twice. I nodded, starting to shove the padding into piles out of her way. How could she not remember, I thought to myself. Is her mind damaged that much that she just...forgets? I pushed that thought out of my head. I really didn’t want that to know the answer. When the padding was cleared, I stood back up and turned to her. She was watching me with those blue eyes. But there was something in them I had never seen before. A sparkle when she looked at me. An emotion I couldn’t quite place. I started walking towards the open doorway, feeling her eyes on my back the whole time. I thought back to the painting on the wall, the one she had painted with her own food. The landscape. I thought about the padding. It looked like she had been trying to claw her way out of the cell. The way she looked at me. Like I was the single good thing in her life, which I probably was. I made the decision right then. I turned and walked back to her, sitting down on the edge of the bad with her. She watched me the whole time, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable. It seemed natural. I didn’t know how to say this to a pony who could obviously understand, but couldn’t respond. I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “Pearl, I am going to take you outside tonight.” The reaction was immediate. Her ears perked up, and a huge smile crossed her lips. She threw her forelegs around me, pulling me into a bear hug. I hugged her back, feeling the shivers run up and down her body. But I didn’t think all of them were from the contact. I think a few were from happiness. She broke away and looked at the door, then back to me. She did this a few times. “No, not right now, sweetie.” I said, watching the emotion fade from her face. “But, later on tonight, when everypony leaves.” A slight smile appeared on her lips, and her head fell onto my shoulder. I stroked her mane, watching her eyes close at my touch. I began to wonder how anypony could have shoved her into a place like this. She seemed so much like a filly. But at the same time, she was probably one of the strongest mares I knew for surviving this place with a personality intact. Well, one of the strongest mares who was still alive. I looked down at her hoof, noticing that the handkerchief I had put there for her wrist was still tied around it. It was probably healed by now, so she didn’t need it. I reached down and pulled gently on the end on the knot. Instantly, her hoof flashed away and she pulled her head off my shoulder. A looked of stunned surprise crossed my face. “Do you want me to leave it?” I asked. She nodded, tucking the hoof in close to her body. It slowly dawned on my that was probably the first thing that wasn’t water or food that somepony had given her in a long time. “Alright, I will leave it. I’m sorry.” She gently laid her head back on my shoulder, but kept her hoof in close to her body. Her eyes closed again as I stroked her mane. I felt her body start to go limp as she fell asleep. Slowly, so I wouldn’t wake her, I adjusted myself so she was laying on her back with her head in my lap. Her chest slowly rose and fell as she slept, and every now and then, a small smile would cross her lips. She was just so beautiful. I gently bent down, placing my lips on her forehead. I just wanted to leave a small kiss, but as soon as I touched her fur, her eyes flashed open. I froze in place, waiting for her to move. And finally she did, but it was not the action I had been expecting. She sat up slowly, keeping her head turned towards me the whole time. she adjusted herself so that she was facing me, a strange expression on her face. A hollow feeling ran through me. Had I just lost her trust? I was about to turn away when I felt her hoof on the side of my face. I turned back to her, almost gasping when I saw how close she was. I could see nothing but her blue eyes. They blinked once, and then she leaned forwards. I felt her lips on my own for the first time. Startled by this, I pulled back a bit, but she just leaned forward more. I felt her forelegs wrap around my back, pulling me in tighter. As the shock passed, I felt myself being pulled towards her. I wrapped my own forelegs around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. I could feel her heartbeat against my own, both of ours fluttering erratically. I turned my head slightly, kissing her deeper. She responded the same. A vague thought in the back of my head wondered what this would look this if somepony were to walk in right now. But as I felt her heart beat with my own, I realized I didn’t care. Instead, I just sank deeper into the kiss. Finally, we broke apart. Her forelegs were still wrapped around me, so I just pressed her forehead against hers, looking into her eyes. The look in her eyes told me she desperately wanted to tell me something, and I think I knew what it was. “I know.” I whispered quietly. “I love you too.” A flare of excitement passed through her eyes and she pulled me closer. She laid her head on my shoulder, and I pressed my head into her mane. “T-th-thank...y-you.” I heard a voice whisper. It was small, quiet. Almost like a young pony’s. I took me a long moment to realize who had said it. I pulled back a bit, but kept my hooves around her. “Was...was that you?” She nodded vigorously. She opened her mouth, looking like this simple task was the hardest thing she had ever done. “T-thank..you.” she said again, louder and more coherently this time. All I could do was smile and pull her into another kiss. She seemed calmer this time, more relaxed, but her heartbeat told a different story, as did mine. I could taste salt on her lips, like she had been crying. A small part of my mind wondered what she had been crying about. But it was overpowered by what was happening. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, our lips pressed together. But finally, we broke apart again. She took her hooves out from behind my back, but she didn’t go away. Instead, she simply laid back in her old position, her head in my lap. I bent down and placed a single kiss on her forehead, exactly like I had wanted to do earlier. But this time she just closed her eyes, letting me do it. “Pearl.” I said quietly. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. “Are you ready to go outside?” It was a long moment before she did anything. I could see her eyes flashing back and forth, and I knew she was trying to speak. Finally, she stopped and looked back up at me. “Yes.” Chapter 4~Behind Blue Eyes~ Chapter 4 The time I spent waiting in her room seemed to tick on forever. It was still the morning, early morning. We had to wait until the hospital was entirely empty, so that we could sneak out without being seen. Sometime throughout the waiting, I began pacing. Back and forth between the wall and her bed. Back and forth, back and forth. I was almost sure there was going to be a groove in the floor after I was done. After about ten minutes of me pacing, Pearl, who had been watching me this whole time, got up and started pacing along side me. She looked up at me as she walked next to me, her eyes seeming to ask, “Am I doing this right?”. I smiled down at her, gently stroking her mane and back. I watched the visible shiver run down her spine, and I knew I would never get tired of seeing that. But the time waiting also seemed to pass in no time at all. After pacing for who knows how long, I sat back down on the bed. Pearl followed me over, sitting as close as she possibly could. I put my foreleg over her shoulders, and she placed her head on my shoulder. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her eyes start to close. Every time they would shut, she would jerk them back open again, like a foal trying to stay awake on Hearth’s Warming Eve. But finally, I saw them shut, and she didn’t open them again. I watched her for a few minutes, smiling every time she smiled. Finally, I thought she was far enough asleep, and I took my arm from around her. Gently, I laid her down on the bed, making sure she was comfortable. Then I grabbed the blankets off the floor and covered her with them, checking to make sure she was completely covered. I smiled down at her, remembering how many time I had done the exact thing to Rain. But I had never felt this way about Rain. No, this was something new. And I liked how it made me feel. I made me feel warm and cold at the same time. Happy and terrified. I wondered if this was how she felt about me. I quietly walked back to the doorway, the padding on the ground muffling my hooffalls. I was about the grab the door and shut it behind me. But, after a moments thought, I left it open. She didn’t need to be trapped anymore. If she wanted to walk free, she could. I trotted over to the chair and sat down. My journal was pressing against my side, so I pulled it out of my pocket. I pulled the pencil out of the small rubber band and opened it up to the correct page. Journal Day 5 I...I love her. There is no debate about this. I love her. And she loves me back. I don’t know, if I had been replaced with somepony else, that she would have loved him, or if she saw something special in me. I don’t know, and I don’t care. All that matters is she found me, and I found her. Something we both needed. I’m getting her out of her, today. Tonight. And I think I know where I will be taking her. But that isn’t the problem. The problem is the fact that she won’t want to leave when this is over. She won’t want to back into her room. If that happens, I don’t know what I will have to do. I don’t want to break her heart. We will see what happens when we come to that. I put the journal down on the magazines, suddenly realizing how tired I was. I hadn’t slept much the last night, and it was catching up to me. I moved the pile of magazines in front of the chair and put my back legs up. I looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes. I was asleep before I even knew it. My last thought was of Pearl, and how she would react. ***** She opened her eyes again, looking up at the white ceiling. For the first time in years, she could instantly remember where she was. And as soon as she remembered, panic flowed through her. Where was he? How could he have just left her? She threw the sheets of herself and jumped out of the bed. She looked around the room, seeing the door left open. Something was drawing her towards it. She took a few steps towards the open doorway, but she paused when she was just a few steps away. She couldn’t even remember what the world beyond looked like. All she could remember was the white, and whatever she dreamed of. But dread started to flow through her. What if that was all her dreams were; Dreams? Just figments of her imagination, and the world didn’t even look like that? She shook her head, trying to stop thinking that thought. Now wasn’t the time to doubt herself. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever waited past the door. Her hoof touched the bare concrete for the first time, and she pulled it up almost immediately. She shook her head, she didn’t like it. It wasn’t soft like her room was. It was hard, much too hard. But she had to do it, so she took a deep breath and placed the hoof back down. Slowly, she moved all four hooves out onto the concrete, and looked around her new world for the first time. Her eyes were wide as plates as she looked around the small hallway. But, even as the feeling of wonder shot through her, so did that feeling of dread. The world disturbed her, more so than the constant white. The few colors there were, colors she didn’t know the names of, seemed washed out compared to her dreams. The hallways seemed bleak, uninviting. For a brief moment, she wanted to go back into the room, where at least she could be with the familiar. But she knew she couldn’t. She had to continue. So, slowly, she stepped further down the hallway, heading towards the two doors at the end. A sharp sound made her gasp, jumping back a few steps. It took her a few moments to realize what it was. That pony was sitting there, fast asleep. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her as she saw him, and she quickly trotted over. As she did, her eyes landed on the pile of magazines his legs were propped up on. An explosion of color filled her eyes as she looked at them. Colors she had only ever seen in her dreams. Pictures of landscapes like she had painted that one time. A smile spread onto her lips as she looked. So there was color in this world. She was glad he was laying down next to the magazines, because she didn’t know what she wanted to be closer too. She curled up under his legs, one hoof touching the paper of the magazines. Her eyes closed almost instantly. But this time, she didn’t dream. ***** When I finally woke, a couple hours later, I realized how much of a mistake that was. Pearl could have just taken my keys and got out. A moment of panic flashed through me, but it faded just as fast as it had come. She wouldn’t do that. I knew she wouldn’t. Stretching and yawning, I took my hooves off the magazines and placed them on the floor. Something warm, soft, and furry rubbed up against my lower thigh. Startled, I looked down to see what it was. I almost laughed when I saw it. A white and pink blob was laying right under where my legs had been. I smiled down at it, reaching and stroking behind the one ear that was standing up. The other was tucked in next to her head. She raised her head and looked up at me, those blue eyes taking me in. I bent down and kissed her lips, feeling her respond to my touch. After a couple second we broke apart. I looked up at the clock, and a thrill of excitement ran through me. It was almost time to quit. I looked down at Pearl, who seemed to know the same thing. I bent down so I could be on the same level as her. “OK, Pearl. I have to make it look like I am leaving, so nopony thinks I did anything.” I said, looking into her eyes. “I am just going to drop off my uniform and journal, then I am coming right back. Understand?” Instead of blinking or nodding, she leaned forward and planted a kiss on my lips. After a couple seconds, she backed away, grinning broadly. “I’ll take that as a yes.” I said, standing up. I grabbed my journal and headed towards the elevator. The last thing I saw before the doors closed were her wide, blue eyes staring at me. I don’t know what was running through her mind, but I just hoped she wasn’t thinking I was leaving her. The doors opened on the ground floor, and I trotted out, trying to act like I wasn’t planning anything. It’s good that there was nopony around, or they would have seen right through my act. I walked down the hallway, my hooves clicking on the tiles. One thought was running through my mind. Please don’t let him be here. Please don’t let- “Hey Newbie!” -Silver be here, I finished. Taking a deep breath, I turned around. Silver was walking out of one of the doors in the hallway. He trotted to catch up with me, walking alongside. “How’s it going with ya?” he asked, not looking at me. “You doing alright here?” I really wasn’t sure how to respond. “Alright, I guess.” I said. “It’s not agreeing with me quite yet, but I am sure it will in a week or two.” “That’s the spirit!” he said, clapping me on the back. “It took me a good month before I was comfortable here. Just give it time.” I nodded, hoping he would go away, but he stayed with me. We reached the locker room, and I pushed the door open, heading straight for my locker. Silver followed me in, trotting over to his. I couldn’t tell what he was so happy about. “Got any plans for this weekend?” he asked, taking off his uniform and hanging it in the locker. I hadn’t realized it, but today was Thursday. I shook my head, but then remembered he wasn’t looking at me. “No, not really.” I said, taking my uniform off as well. “Just relaxing at home.” I pulled my journal out of the pocket and placed it on the shelf in the locker. I turned around and found him looking at me, eyeing the journal. But he just shook his head and smiled again. “I haven’t had a weekend like that in a while. I might take next week off and go to Los Pegasus. Hit the beaches.” I nodded in agreement. “That’s a good idea.” I said. “I might have to do that sometime.” But I wasn’t thinking for me. I was thinking of taking Pearl to the beach one day. She would probably enjoy it. Silver nodded, trotting towards the door. “You should. Last time I did it I had a blast. Anyway, see you tomorrow.” he said, walking out the door. “Bye.” I called weakly. I hung my uniform on the hook in my locker, then grabbed the keys out of the pocket. I knew if I went back up to the room, I wouldn’t be able to leave for another hour or so. But I didn’t care. I had to do it. I trotted out of the locker room, looking both ways before I galloped back to the elevator. I quickly shoved the key into the lock and open the doors. The doors opened and I hopped it, mashing the button for the top floor. The last thing I needed was for anypony to see me heading back up after I was supposed to leave. The doors reopened on the small hallway. At first I didn’t see her, but then I looked back over to where the chairs and magazines were, and I saw her. I wanted to call to her, but then I saw what she was doing, and I decided to just wait and watch. She was sitting down on the floor, hunched over the magazines. All around her she had spread them out, opening the pages, and in a few cases, ripping the pages out. As I looked over them, I noticed all of them were of landscapes and nature. She was arranging them in such a way that, even though some of them were a year apart, they fit together perfectly. As I watched, she ripped another picture out of the magazine she was hoofing through. She placed it next to her, adjusting it until she thought it was perfect. I stood a little straighter, trying to look over her shoulder without alerting her. I smiled as when I saw what she was making with all the photos. It was another landscape, just like the one she had painted in her room. Quietly, I walked out of the elevator, trotting over to her. I tried to muffle my hoofsteps, but the tile on the floor had other ideas. One of her ears perked up, and she turned around. A broad smile spread onto her lips, and she rushed over to me. I was prepared for just a hug, but not to be tackled to the floor. I felt her lips on my own for just a moment before she let me up. “What, you didn’t think I was coming back.” She shook her head. I knelt down in front of her, looking into those eyes I had fallen in love with. “I will always come back for you. Always. Now, are you ready to go?” ***** By the time I was sure there was nopony left in the building, the sun was already setting. But that’s fine. It would mean the park would be empty. I pressed my key into the lock on the elevator and held the doors open once they had opened. I motioned for Pearl to go in with my free hoof. She just looked back and forth from me to the elevator. I could see she didn’t want to go in. “Don’t worry, this isn’t the outside. But it will get us there.” I reassured her. She took a deep breath and walked forward into the elevator. I let go of the doors and walked in with her, hitting the button for ground floor. The elevator shuddered a bit as it started dropping, and Pearl grabbed a hold of my side, her eyes wide. “It’s fine, Pearl. It’s supposed to do that.” I said. But I was glad the ride was so short, I didn’t like the fear in her eyes. As soon as the doors opened, she rushed out, but then stopped immediately. A look of wonder and surprise appeared on her face as she looked around the new surroundings. She turned towards the wall, cocking her head as she looked at the windows. I stayed back, wanting to see what she was going to do. She slowly walked over to the windows. Through them, I could see the setting sun and, forest, which looked as if it had been dipped in ink because of the setting sun. She was about a foot from the windows when she stopped, an expression of confusion on her face. She took a couple steps back, then walked forward again. But she still stopped about a foot from the window. She cocked her head slightly, taking a step to the left, then a step to the right. I just watched her, wondering what she was doing. Finally, she reached a hoof up and placed it on the window. As soon as she did, she pulled it back. But she placed it back a few seconds later. My curiosity got the better of me, and I trotted over to her. I almost laughed when I saw what had been disturbing her so. With a smile, I stood next to her, casting my own reflection on the window next to Pearl’s. “That’s you, honey.” I said, pointing at the white and pink pony in the window. “That’s what you look like.” I watched as my sentence sunk in. She slowly lifted the hoof off the window, holding it in the air in front of her. The pony in the window did the same. She lifted her hoof to her mane, gently stroking it in the back. The pony in the window did the same. Slowly, it dawned on her, and a large smile appeared on her lips. I was glad she had grasped it so fast. “We should probably get going.” I said, taking her hoof and directing her towards to door at the end of the hallway. She came along, but reluctantly. She didn’t want to leave the window, and I could see why. That was the first time she had ever seen herself. But after a few moments, she fell into step with me. We reached the end of the hall and I pushed the door open, looking at the receptionist desk before I walked through. No, she wasn’t there. I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked through the door, Pearl right behind me. She was walking with me, but her head was turning every way possible, looking at her new surroundings. As I watched her, I couldn’t think of another time where I had seen somepony so happy and so full of wonder. The sparkles in her eyes were so luminous, they looked like the sky during a fireworks display. I trotted over to the door, holding it open for her. As soon as I did, a blast of warm air met me. The sun was setting, but it was still warm outside. I was happy for that. At least it wouldn’t be freezing tonight. I held the door open a little further, motioning Pearl towards it. She slowly trotted towards it, her nose held high in the air. I could smell it then too. The smell of flowers and dirt after a rain. The heavy musky, earthy smell. I couldn’t tell what she thought of it, but it seemed to be drawing her towards the door. I wanted to see her eyes when she stepped outside for the first time, but I also wanted her to take the first steps by herself. She stopped at the door, looking back and forth at the open doorway and me. But this time I didn’t have to encourage here. She just took the first step by herself. She paused again, but then she took another couple of steps.. Finally, she was out the door. I followed her out, shutting the doors behind me. A couple yards in front of the door, Pearl stood absolutely still. Her body was as tense as I have ever seen. Her face was angled towards the sky, but she wasn’t afraid. In fact, it was just the opposite. On her face was the wildest expression I had ever seen. The biggest smile I had ever seen was plastered on her face. The setting sun was casting an amber glow on her fur, causing her eyes to sparkle more than ever. And in her eyes was the oddest combinations of joy and fear I had ever seen. She seemed to be afraid of the world around her, but at the same time, she seemed to be the happiest I had ever seen her. I backed off a bit, giving her some space in case she lost it. But she didn’t. Instead, she just shook her head, trotting in a slow, wide circle. As she walked she twirled, trying to look at everything at once. Her eyes themselves reflected everything they looked at. The trees, the sun, the clouds. Everything reflected perfectly in those brilliant blue eyes. Slowly, she stopped twirling, and she trotted back over to me. I could see more then the world reflected in her eyes now. There was love there. “Do you like it?” I asked, already knowing she did. She nodded, straightening up and kissing me on my cheek. I stroked her mane, feeling it’s watery, silky weight fall over my hoof. I turned towards the path that led towards the gate, and she followed me, like it was the only thing she knew how to do. She seemed to be frightened of the pops and crunches from the gravel, but after a few moments, she didn’t seem to mind anymore. It was taking a child somewhere new for the first time. Everything was a new experience. Everything was new for her. When we reached the gate I slid my card through the scanner and trotted out of the way of the gate as it swung open. Pearl let out a small gasp and backed away, hiding behind me. “It’s fine, Pearl.” I said soothingly. “It’s not going to hurt you. Nothing is going to hurt you while I am here.” I took her hoof and led her through the gate and out into the forest. The expression of awe had not left her eyes. I looked at the horizon, watching the sun set. I gently pulled her to a stop, pointing at it. I wanted her to remember her first sunset. We sat on the ground, my foreleg over her shoulders. She laid her head on my shoulder as the sun fell behind the mountains in the distance. Looking over my shoulder I could see the sun turning her fur the exact colors of the clouds. Pinks and oranges and yellows all playing across her body. As the colors played across her eyes they turned deep purple, but the sparkles stayed the same, shining out of the violet background. The sun slowly dipped below the horizon until it was just a sliver. And that too, finally, disappeared. Her fur was back to normal, only slightly darker than before. She looked up at me, an odd expression on her face. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. I stood up, looking around the forest. Pearl stood up as well, keeping as close to me as possible. I turned, just to make sure she was following, then continued down the forest path. I knew exactly where I wanted to take her. I didn’t know why I was taking her there. It just felt right. Above us, I could hear the animals settling in for the night. And every time a branch rustled or a leaf feel, Pearl would jump slightly. I could tell she was very unnerved, so I slowed down a bit, letting her get as close to me as she wanted to be. As soon as I did this, her body relaxed some. She pressed herself against my side, still looking around the forest with wide eyes. I looked ahead of us and saw the path opening up. Between the trees I could see parts of the night sky, and the field that bordered the forest. And I knew Pearl had seen it too. Her pace had quickened, and soon, she was a few yards ahead of me. I trotted to keep up with her. In no time, we left the trees behind and emerged into the park. Pearl took a few cautious steps away from me, her eyes wide and wary. She started to twirl in a circle just as she had done earlier. As soon as she turned towards the playground, her stopped. She stared at it for a few moments, her head cocked to one side. I smiled and took her hoof in mine, gently leading her towards the playground. “I think you will like it here.” I said quietly. Even a whisper sounded like a shout in the night air. “I used to have fun here when I was a child.” “Fun?” I turned back to face her. Did she really not know that word? Did she not know what fun was? I suddenly felt a pang of pity for her. Of course she wouldn’t. She had been locked up for her entire life. She had never experienced anything fun. I pulled her close and continued walking towards the playground. “I am going to show you fun.” was all I said. Soon we reached the sand border of the playground. The sand was about a foot deeper than the grass was, and I stepped down into the pit. Pearl seemed wary at first, but she quickly jumped down after I did. A look of curiosity worked its way onto her face as she looked down at the sand. She dug a hoof in slightly, feeling the coarse, scratchy grains against her skin for the first time. She just cocked her head a few times before looking back up at me. I smiled at her, then looked around the playground. It hadn’t changed at all since those years as a foal where Rain and I had played. The swings were still there, their chains squeaking in the quiet night. The slides still stood, although they looked a bit battered from all the years of play. The tiny carousel still stood, but I didn’t think I would be taking Pearl on that. I looked back over at the swings, smiling. I was going to take her there first. I gently pulled on her hoof, meeting no resistance from her. I led her over to the swings, making sure the squeaking from the metal chains didn’t scare her. But she didn’t seem at all phased. She just seemed curious. I dropped her hoof when we reached them. They swung in pairs, which was perfect for us. I turned to make sure she was watching me, and she was. I showed her how to get into one without falling out, just like you would a foal. All she did was blink after I was finished, so I pointed at the swing next to me. “Your turn.” I urged. She walked over and got into her swing, even mimicking the way I twisted my back to make sure my wings didn’t get caught in the chains. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing when I saw this. It was just too cute. She looked over at me and cocked her head, and I just smiled. Next, I showed her how to swing her hind legs, and soon she was moving back and forth, a growing smile on her face. I watched as her mane and tail waved back and forth in the air as she swung. A quiet laugh escaped her lips as she swung higher and higher into the air. “Fun!?” she asked, and I nodded. Her eyes were wide and happy, and it looked like she was practically glowing. “Fun!” she called again, laughing as she rose higher into the air. Not wanting her to have all the fun, I started swinging as well, trying to catch up to her. Finally, we were almost in sync, meeting each other halfway through the arc. By then I was as high as I could go, and I remembered something Rain and I used to do. I swung one more time, until I reached the highest point. Then I let go. I flew out of the seat, spreading my wings as I did. I soared out of the swing, arcing over the playground and landing on the other side, without flapping my wings once. Not wanting to worry her, I quickly trotted back over to the swings. Pearl just looked at me when I returned, an odd expression on her face. She wasn’t thinking of-- The next time she reached the highest point, she let go of her swing. I watched her fly into the air, but since she didn’t have wings, she started to drop almost instantly. I ran as fast as I could, my forelegs extended. I reached her a moment before she would have hit the ground. I felt her land in my legs, pulling me off balance, and I landed on my back in the sand, my body wrapped around hers. I uncurled myself, looking at her. What I saw I didn’t expect. She was smiling at me, her eyes alight. She didn’t look scared at all, or even hurt. She planted a kiss on my muzzle. “Fun.” was all she said. I laughed, stroking her mane. “Please, don’t do that again. At least for awhile.” She nodded, standing up She instantly rushed back to the swings, but I backed away a bit. I sat down on the edge of the slide. I just wanted to watch her. The moon, which was almost full, was making her fur glow. even the ground around her seemed brighter than the rest. I wasn’t religious, but I bet, if somepony had walked by right then, she would have looked like an angel. I looked around the playground, my eyes settling on the small canopy above the slides. I fluttered my wings, looking back and forth between Pearl and the canopy. I took a deep breath and flapped my wings. For the first time since Rain had died, I felt my hooves leave the ground. The feeling of freedom associated with flying spread through my body. The dull ache I had been feeling in the base of my wings joints seemed to just float away as I rose into the air. I swooped down, floating in the air next to Pearl. She smiled up at me, trying to catch my wings in her hooves, but I just laughed and wrapped my hooves around her chest. I slowly lifted her into the air, making sure she wasn’t afraid, and also, that I could lift her. Her eyes grew wide as I lifted her up, but soon she was smiling and laughing as I pulled her through the air. I floated over to the canopy, gently lowering her down to the top. The cloth sagged a bit under her weight, but it held her perfectly. I dropped down next to her, folding my wings in next to me. Pearl watched me as I flopped down onto the cloth and laid on my back. After a moment, she did the same, sliding down next to me. She laid her head against my shoulder, and I turned to look at her. In her eyes was an emotion I knew I would never forget. It was more than trust, or love. It was like I was the only thing in her world, and she would be lost without me. She was visibly shivering from the cold night air. I drew her closer to me, wrapping my hooves around her. Gently, I pressed my lips against hers, feeling her do the same. I closed my eyes, trying not to think of anything else. Just being here with her was all I wanted. Slowly, her shivers began to stop as we shared our body heat. Her arms wrapped around my back, sliding underneath my wings. And for the first time, I felt myself shiver from her touch. I would have smiled at this, but my lips were otherwise engaged. By the time we broke apart, her shivers had long since stopped. Our foreheads were pressed together as we layed there. Pearl closed her mouth suddenly, a look of concentration running across her face. “I....I love..you.” she managed, finally. She smiled at me, looking as proud as she had ever been. I pressed my lips against her forehead for a brief moment, then returned to her eyes. “I love you too.” I said. “I love you, so much.” She pressed her lips against mine again, closing her eyes. I did the same, falling into both her and the kiss. Above us the stars glimmered and gleamed. And it seemed like they were shining just for us. At one point Pearl and I opened our eyes at the same moment, and I noticed how perfectly her eyes matched the sky. The soft blue glow of the sky over us, created by the lights from downtown Baltimare. The stars shining, even though the glare from the city. Her eyes were perfect. And so was she. As the night wore on, I extended my wings and wrapped us in a feathery cocoon, and I could feel myself flush from both the warmth and Pearl’s proximity. The moment seemed to go on for minutes, hours, I really wasn’t sure. But finally, I broke the kiss. “Pearl..” I started, not really sure how I should ask the question. “Can...can you remember anything from before the room?” She gave me an odd look and cocked her head. Points for her, it was hard to cock your head while laying down. Her eyes flashed back and forth, but they finally settled back on me. She shook her head. “I thought not.” I said, pulling her against me. “It’s probably for the best though.” She just looked at me and blinked, not understanding. “I’ll tell you one day. When you’re older.” She nodded, laying her head against my shoulder. I saw her eyes begin to close. She exhaled, and I could have sworn I heard a word on that breath. Fun. But I might have been imagining things. And within a few minutes, she was fast asleep. Her chest rose and fell with her steady breathing against my side. Her breath would create a cold draft over my chest. And I didn’t mind. I just wrapped my wings tighter around us, being careful not to wake her. Looking up at the stars, I realized there was no other place I would rather be than right there, with Pearl next to me. I may not have liked working at the hospital, but something good had come out of it. And I wouldn’t have traded that for the world. As the night ticked on, I could feel my eyes begin to close, and before I knew it, I was asleep. ***** I woke, not because it was morning, but because somepony was moving around. Pearl was turning in circles on the cloth, a fearful expression on her face. It looked like she was trying to get a look at something, but couldn’t. I quickly stood up, walking over to her. I placed my hooves on her shoulders, making her stop turning. “What is it, what’s the matter?” I asked, genuinely afraid now. She turned her flank towards me, and what I saw made me gasp. On her upper thigh was something I had never seen on her before. It looked like a green heart. But when I looked closer, I realized what it actually was. It was two leaves, curved together to look like a heart. I stared at it for a moment, finally realizing what it was. “Pearl. You got your Cutie Mark!” I cheered, placing a kiss on her forehead. She just cocked her head at me, not understanding. I turned my flank towards her, showing her my mark. I could see the light blue lightning bolt and stars reflected in her eyes. She reached out a hoof and touched it, then she reached and touched her own. She still looked confused, but I could tell she was calmed down now. I embraced her, looking at the horizon as I did. A sliver of pink was showing just above the mountains. It would be dawn soon. I had to get her back. But as I thought about it, I knew I couldn’t do it. She had gained her Cutie Mark from this experience. To deprive her of this would be torture. I couldn’t take her back to the hospital. I just couldn’t. I broke the embrace and looked around. The very top of the hospital was showing over the trees. And I knew Pearl saw it too. “Go...back?” she finally managed. I looked back and forth between the hospital and the city. One was the right the to do, but one was the morally right thing to do. It wasn’t long before I made my decision. “No. We aren’t going back.” I said, spreading my wings. “We are never going back.” Chapter 5~Behind Blue Eyes~ Chapter 5 Pearl just stared at me after I said that. I wasn’t sure what thoughts were running around inside that beautiful head of hers, or if she even understood what I had meant. She just blinked once, and then smiled at me. But then she closed her mouth and that same look of concentration appeared on her face. I knew she was trying to say something, but I wasn’t sure what it was going to be. After a few brief moments of silence, she opened her mouth again. “Where are we going?” she said, her voice as soft as her fur. I trotted in a circle a few times, a debate raging in my mind. I couldn’t take her back to the hospital, I just couldn’t. But I really didn’t have any other place I could take her. I could take her to my house. But that would probably be the first place they would look when they found out she was gone. But I didn’t have any other choice. Finally, I stopped and looked back to her. “I am going to take you home. To my home.” As I said this, I flapped my wings and floated over to her. She watched me fly through the air, turning her head as I passed behind her. I wrapped my forelegs around her chest again, just like I had before. I lifted her into the air, making sure I would be able to hold her for a few minutes. She looked up at me as I lifted her into the air. “Home?” she asked me. “Oh, right. You don’t know what a home is.” I said, feeling another pang of pity. “Home is somewhere where you are safe. Where you are with people who love you and care for you.” I never thought I would have to explain that to somepony. “Home is...with you.” she said. I smiled down at her, looking into her stunning eyes. “Yes. Home is with me.” I agreed. The park flew by underneath us, still cloaked in nighttime darkness. I looked behind me, seeing the first rays of sunlight hit the mountains, staining them bright yellow and orange. I could see the streets pass by underneath me, until I saw my house appear from all the rest. I dropped down, letting Pearl land first before I floated down next to her. I opened the door, letting her go in first. She stuck her head in, looking around her a few moments. She looked over her shoulder at me, then stepped through. She rubbed her hoof along the carpet, like she had never felt something like that before. She probably hadn’t, I reminded myself. She twirled in a circle, just like she had the night before, taking in the entrance, and whatever she could see of the other rooms. Her eyes took in the photos I had on the walls, the potted plant I had next to the window. She turned to face me with a closed lip smile. “Home?” she asked. I nodded, walking forward and embracing her. “Home.” I said into her mane. At that moment, I heard her stomach growl. I broke the hug and smiled at her. She just looked down and cocked her head, a nervous expression on her face. I laughed and placed my hoof in hers. “You’re hungry.” I said, leading her into the kitchen. I pulled a muffin out of the tin and handed it to her. She just stared at it for a few moment, then looked up at me, her eyes asking the question she couldn’t. I laughed, pulling another muffin out. “You eat it.” I said, taking a bite out of it. “It’s food.” She looked back down at it, slowly raising it to her lips. She took a small bite out of it, her eyes lighting up almost immediately. She bit down again, taking a huge bite out of the muffin. I watched as in three bites, the entire muffin was gone. She turned her eyes back to me, looking expectantly at the tin can. I smiled, brushing a few crumbs from off her lips. “You are going to need more than that.” I said, pulling out some bread and wildflowers. I led her over to the table by the window, motioning for her to sit down. She did, but her eyes didn’t leave me as I worked. I placed the flowers on the bread, sprinkling some oats on the very top. Rain had always said I was good at cooking, but I never saw it. I could just make sandwiches. When I was done I poured some oat crisps into a bowl and cut the sandwich in half. I carried the plate over to the table, placing the bowl down next to Pearl and the plate in the middle of the table. She reached over and took a half of the sandwich, bringing it to her lips just as she had with the muffin. She didn’t act the same as with the muffin as when she tasted the sandwich. Less of a feeding frenzy and more like thoughtful precision. She would take a bite, her eyes closed, chewing slowly. Then she would open her eyes and look at the sandwich, as if deciding on where to bite next. About halfway through, I pushed the bowl closer her. She looked at it, cocking her head. She pulled a crisp out and bit down, and I could see a smile spread on her lips as she chewed. “Do you like it?” I asked, already knowing the answer. I think I was asking her just so I could hear her voice. “Like it.” she agreed, taking another crisp for herself. She looked at my sandwich half, and then at hers. She pointed at mine, and then at hers, which was almost gone. “Do you want another?” I asked. She nodded enthusiastically. I stood up and walked back to the counter, pulling out the bread and flowers again. When I turned around again, I was greeted with two empty plates and a half empty bowl. I looked at Pearl, who was just staring at me with wide eyes. I laughed and placed the plate down in front of her. “Take all you want. But you might want to slow down.” I teased. “I don’t have that much food here.” She looked down at the plate, then picked up both halves. She looked at them one at a time, and then held one out to me. I took it, quickly taking a bite. She may have been hungry, but I wanted to eat before all the food was gone. I looked her over as she ate. For such a small mare, she could definitely hold her food. I finished quickly, walking back over to the counter. I pulled out a couple glasses and poured some apple juice into them. I carried them over one at a time, then sat back down. She finished her food, then looked at the glass of amber liquid in front of her. I showed her how to hold it in between her hooves, and she took a sip. Immediately, her eyes grew wide. I watched as the entire glass was gone in ten seconds flat. I just stared at her. What had they given her as food at the hospital if even apple juice was new to her? I quickly refilled the glass. This time, she drank slower, taking time to enjoy the taste. When she was finished, she placed her hooves on her stomach, which I could see was slightly distended. That was probably the first time she had been properly fed in years. Maybe even her whole life. I stood up, smiling at her. I took her hoof and led her away from the table, towards the stairs. I showed her how to climb them, as she had obviously never seen any before. Slowly, she climbed up, tripping occasionally. But, finally, we reached the top. She looked around, twirling a she had done before. She walked over to one of the doors, nudging it open with her nose. She poked her head inside, then quickly backed up, looking frightened. She looked back and forth between me and the room. Confused, I walked inside the room. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary. It was just the bathroom. Nothing in there but.....White. The thought dawned on me as I looked around at the white tiles. Poor Pearl. She probably thought I was putting her back into her room. I held the door open further, showing her inside. “There is nothing to be afraid of.” I said soothingly as she walked inside, her ears pressed against her head. “This isn’t the room. I am not going to leave you here.” Pearl gave me a strange look, then walked over to the shower. She touched the clouded glass doors with her hoof, then slid it open. She looked inside, cocking her head a few times. Then she turned and looked at me, pointing at the shower. I wondered when the last time she had been given a proper bath in a proper shower was. “It’s a shower, Pearl.” I said. I reached in and turned the knob, letting the water fall down. She skittered away at first, but then she walked back. She stuck out a hoof into the water, pulling it back when she felt how cold it was. I turned the warm water on then backed away, letting her feel it for the first time. She stuck her hoof back in, smiling now that the water was warm. She pushed more of her leg in. But then she stopped and turned to look at me. I nodded to her. “You can go in. It’s not going to hurt you.” I said. She nodded, turning back to the water. I could see her take a deep breath, then she walked in. I watched as the water turned her normally frizzy pink mane into a curtain of rose. She smiled as it poured over her, pulling away any bad emotions from the past few days. She closed her eyes and sat down, pointing her face into the steam of water. I smiled and backed out of the room. I was going to close the door, but I thought better of it. She wouldn’t like it if I did. So I left it open, and I walked into my room. I looked around. Everything was how I had left it the day before. But something was nagging at me, and I soon found myself pulling a suitcase out of my closet. I really wasn’t sure why I was doing it, but I felt like I should have it ready. Just in case something happened. I placed it on my bed and opened it, looking inside. I almost laughed when I saw was inside. One of my old scarves, a light blue one with dark blue tassels on the end. I had worn this when I was a young colt. I had gotten it at the same fair that picture in my living room. I let my mind wander back to those days, when Rain and I were still together. I was so lost in my thoughts I forgot about Pearl for a few minutes. I was still looking through the suitcase when I felt something wet against my side. I let out a small yell and backed away a few steps, startled. Pearl was standing there, soaking wet, looking as happy as I had ever seen her. A small puddle was forming on the floor under her. “Oh, pearl!” I scolded. But she didn’t seem to care. She just smiled at me. “Oh, come here.” I said, grabbing her hoof and pulling her back to the bathroom. I slipped on the tile when I walked in, landing on my back. The entire floor was wet. Pearl just stood over me, still smiling. I just smiled back and stood up. I grabbed a towel off the rack and proceeded to dry her down. Her head popped out of the towel at one point, and she kissed me on the mouth. I laughed and continued to dry her. When I was finished, I left the towel hanging around her neck. Her mane was extra fizzy now, jutting out at weird angles. I would have to brush it for her. The cloth still tied around her ankle was soaking wet, but I didn’t try to take if off and dry it. I knew she wouldn’t like that. “Pearl, we don’t do that, alright? Stay in here after a shower.” She just nodded enthusiastically, then looked down at the towel. I walked over and turned the water off, then turned back to her. As I looked at her, I had a sudden idea. “Stay here.” I said, as I dashed out of the room. I grabbed the scarf off my bed and trotted back into the bathroom. I showed the scarf to pearl, and she just cocked her head, looking back and forth between me and it. I took the towel off her neck and wrapped the scarf around her, just like I used to do to rain. I stepped back, looking at her. The scarf perfectly matched her eyes, accenting her mane beautifully. She looked down at it, playing with the tassels on the end. “Do you like it?” I asked. She walked forward and kissed me, so I took that as a yes. I pressed myself against her, her fur still slightly damp against my chest. Once again I could feel her heart beat with mine, like a metronome. I ran my hoof through her mane, the wet hair sticking to my hoof slightly. I could have stayed like the forever, but she broke the kiss, her ears perked up. I listened closely, and I heard it. Somepony was knocking on my door. Panic flowed through me. I looked around, but I knew there was no way I could leave the house without being seen. I turned back to Pearl, who could tell I was agitated. “I want you to stay here, alright? Stay in here no matter what.” She nodded, sitting on the floor in front of me. I quickly kissed her on the cheek, then grabbed my bathrobe off the hook on the door as I galloped down the stairs. I had to think of an alibi quick. And I think I knew the one. I jumped the last couple stairs and landed in front of the door. I quickly put the robe on, making myself look as tired as possible. Then I took a deep breath and opened the door. Silver was standing there, looking down at me. He wore saddlebags on his back, and his uniform as well. For a moment, he had a frown plastered on his face, but then a smile appeared. “Hey, Newbie! I was wondering where you were today. Gosh, you look terrible.” he said, putting some feeling into the words. I nodded, coughing for extra effect. “Yeah, I think I caught the flu or something. I would have gone up and tell you, but I didn’t think I could do it.” “Hey, no sweat!” he said, smiling still. “Anyway, I covered for your shift. Or, well, I would have, if she had been there.” The smile fell off his face as she finished his sentence. I just stared at him, trying to play dumb. “What do you mean?” I asked, coughing again. “I mean, she wasn’t there, in her cell!” he said, malice entering his voice. “So, that was problem enough. That was about the worst thing that can happen, a patient escaping.” Every sentence he finished, he took another step forward. Soon, he was in past my door. “But then, I found this.” he said, reaching back and opening his bag. He pulled something out, something that looked familiar. “My journal!” I gasped. Anger flowed through me. “How did you get that!” “It doesn't matter how, the point is I have it.” “You broke into my locker!” I accused, completely dropping the sick act. “I would hardly call it breaking in if you know the combination. You shouldn’t have said it was your birthday.” I opened my mouth to respond, but then closed it. It’s true, I had said it was my birthday. “I had been suspicious of you for a while. You were acting really strange. So I opened the locker, and found this staring at me.” he said, looking into my eyes. “I didn’t know what to think at first, reading through the first couple of entries. But then I got to the last ones. And everything changed.” I could see his expression soften, returning almost to normal. “Do you really love her?” he asked. I nodded. “Completely. I wouldn’t trade anything for her.” “And I can see she feels the same for you.” he said. “How do you..?” “Because she is standing right there.” I turned as fast as possible. Pearl was standing at the top of the stairs, the scarf still around her next. She was giving us a frightened look, her eyes flashing back and forth. “Pearl!” I hissed. “I told you to stay in the bathroom.” She shook her head, rushing down the stairs and standing next to me. Silver turned his head slightly, looking her her flank. At her Cutie Mark. “When...when did she get that?” “She got it last night, when I took her outside for the first time in years.” I said, a steel edge in my voice. “See what you ponies have been depriving her of?” “I..I had no idea.” He looked up at her. “I am so sorry...Umm..” “Pearl.” she answered. It was the first time I had heard her name spoken by herself. It sounded like the jewel itself when she said it. Silver looked taken aback. “She can talk now?” I nodded. “All it took was a little help. She is an extremely fast learner.” “And you love her?” I nodded. “Does she feel the same way?” As an answer, Pearl latched on to me, pressing her lips against mine. After a few seconds, she broke apart. “I love him.” she answered. Silver just looked between the two of us. The look in his eyes made it seem like his entire world had turned upside down. “I...I wasn’t expecting this..” he said, sitting down on his haunches. “You know they are going to be looking for you two, right?” he said after a few moments. “I know. I have been thinking about where to take her.” “You are probably going to have to leave the state. Maybe even a few states over.” I know. I might need a couple days to find the right--” Silver was shaking his head. “You aren’t going to have the time. As soon as they find out, they are going to come looking for you. You might have a day, two at the most.” “So, what you do recommend?” I asked. Silver shrugged, looking around for a moment. Suddenly, he gasped. He reached back into his bag and pulled out two small slips of paper. He handed them to me. I saw “Equestria Airlines” printed in bold font. “Use these.” he said. “You need them more than I do.” I shook my head, pushing the tickets back towards him. “I can’t! You already payed for them and everything!” Silver grabbed my hoof with his, placing the tickets in it. “You need them more than I do. More than I probably ever will. Go there, start a new life. I can just tell my marefriend that something came up at the hospital and we can’t go this time.” “Are you sure?” He nodded. “Very sure. She needs you, and I can tell you need her. You look like a completely different stallion from when I first saw you. This has helped you.” I closed my hoof around the tickets, putting them in the pocket of my robe. “I can’t thank you enough. Really, thank you.” Silver shook his head, smiling. “Hey, it’s no problem, Sky!” he said, shaking my hoof. “Just make sure you write when you get settled. I can probably throw them off your trail if I say you were not home. But I can only get you an extra day, at the most. So you have to move fast.” “I understand.” I said. I walked forward and embraced him. “Thank you so much for this.” “No problem. It’s the least I could do.” he said. I released him, and Pearl walked forward. She leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his cheek. “I’m so sorry, for what we have done to you.” he said. “You don’t...have to be.” she said. Silver smiled, handed my my journal, then turned around. “See ya, kid! Have fun on the west. And don’t forget to write!” he said over his shoulder, then galloped off, leaving us to do nothing but stare after him. I really wasn’t sure what to do. I had just cut the only tie I had left to this city. I turned to Pearl, who was watching me intently. “We are going to have to leave. Tonight if possible. I just have to know. Do you really want to leave this place forever? Because we cannot come back.” She didn’t even pause before she replied. “No. Leave.” she said. I smiled, standing up and trotting upstairs. I guess I was right. I did need the suitcase after all. I dumped the rest of the contents out on my bed. Clothes from when I was a foal. Bits and pieces from my life that I couldn’t remember. After I was done, I grabbed my scarf, a bright red one, from inside my closet. I also grabbed a couple other winter clothes, doubting I would need them much in Los Pegasus. I threw them into the suitcase, then trotted out into the hall. Pearl was watching me with wide eyes. I turned towards the door next to mine, and I took a deep breath. I hadn’t opened her door since she died. Even the door handle was covered in dust. I placed my hoof on it, feeling the dry, powdery feeling of the dust rubbing off onto my hoof. I turned the handle, and I opened the door. It was just like she had left it that day. Even her sheets, the same color as the clouds outside, was turned down, like she had just gotten out of it. I looked around the room I had not seen in six years. The window was open, and the drapes waved in the breeze. The sun was shining through, playing off the dust in the air. It landed on the white sheets on her bed and played out in all directions, filling the room with light. I slowly walked inside, puffs of dust rising with each step I took. A Wonderbolts posted was still hanging on the wall above her bed, although it was faded to the point of being monochrome. At the foot of her bed was a trunk. A wooden trunk she liked to keep the things she liked best in. Toys from her childhood, pictures, books. She didn’t like anypony to go in there, but she always allowed me to. I knelt down and opened it, dust rising from where my hooves touched it. I pried it open, the wood sticking to itself after so many years of being closed. Inside, covered with a layer of dust, was all her most precious items. I began to pull things out at random, looking and remembering. The first book she ever read by herself. Pictures she drew as a filly. Various other items that would only have meaning for her. But I was surprised she kept most of them. She never was the nostalgic type. I reached further in, until my hoof bumped against something wooden. It wasn’t the bottom of the trunk. It felt like a box. I grabbed a hold of it and pulled it out. It was a cedar box, about a foot long and and three inches deep. It had a small lock on the front. I put it next to my ear and shook it. Inside, something rattled. I looked around the room, and I could see nowhere she might hide a key. But then I had a sudden idea. I flipped the box over, and smiled. Taped to the bottom was the key. I pulled it off. it was so like Rain to have the key there. Hidden in plain sight. I put the key into the lock and turned. The lid popped up, and I slowly opened it up. Inside, the case was lined in purple silk. It was obviously meant to be a jewelry box, but Rain had found another purpose for it. A small picture was inside. Just that and nothing else. I was about to put it back, when I got a second look at the picture. It was me and Rain at the park. She was on the swing, and I was on the ground, pushing her. It was taken at just the right time. She was hanging in the air, almost at the apex of the arc. Her eyes were open and alive, a broad smile on her lips. It was one of those times where you could tell the voices weren’t bothering her. It was just her up there, nothing else. I pulled the picture out, remembering that time at the park. It was the first time I had gotten her on the swings. Her wings were spread out behind her, making it look like she was almost ready to fly away. I felt indents on the back of the picture, and I flipped it over. There were words written on the back in Rain’s loopy hoofwriting. Dearest Brother, I know it will be you reading this. Only you knew me well enough to find this box. I don’t know if you will find it soon, or years from now. But I know you will find it. By now...well, you know how the cliche goes. I am dead. Don’t feel sorry for me. Please don’t. There is no reason to. This is exactly what I wanted. I wanted freedom. I wanted peace. And I wanted quiet. And after all these years, that is exactly what I got. My one wish, is that you don’t remember me for this. I want you to remember me for all the time we spent together. All the times we played at the park. All the times you held me when I was sad. All the times you tried to make the voices go away. All the times you protected me at school. You were my guiding angel through all of my rough life. I want you to remember those times. Not this. But that isn’t why I wrote this. I wrote this for one reason only. To tell you something I could say to your face. To those bright yellow eyes of yours. One simple thing. I just wanted to say, before I go. Goodbye. Goodbye, my friend. Goodbye, my pal. Goodbye, my brother. Goodbye. Your Dearest Sister, Rain I just stared down at the note, emotions running rampant. I didn’t know when I started to cry, but before I knew it, tears were falling from my eyes. I felt myself sit down, although I never told myself to. I can’t believe I had never found this. She had wanted me to find this! “Rain...oh Rain. I’m so sorry..” I moaned. I should have known she was feeling like this! I should have seen it.... “I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT!” I felt myself yell, even though I hadn’t told my mouth to open. Sobs ripped from my chest as I clutched the note against me. My back was against the wall to her room, but I could barely feel it. I couldn’t feel anything but the pain roaring through me. I was so oblivious that I didn’t hear Pearl walk into the room. She walked over to me, sitting down on the floor next to me. She wrapped her forelegs around me, pulling me against her chest. I felt myself curl up against her, tears still falling from my eyes. I felt her lips against my forehead for the briefest moment. And then they were gone. But she still held me, laying her head on mine, riding out the tears with me. I don’t know how long I laid there, but eventually, the tears began to slow, until all that was left were dry sobs. I uncurled myself, looking up into her eyes. She just stared down at me, her face as blank as the wall behind us. I swallowed multiple times before I opened my mouth, and even then, my voice was weak and broken. “Thank you.” She nodded, pulling me into a tight embrace. I could feel her chest wet with me tears, and I felt even worse. That was the one thing Rain had not wanted. She wanted me to be happy for her, and I was doing the complete opposite. I broke the hug with Pearl and stood up, my legs shaky. Pearl stood back, watching me closely. I was wondering what she was thinking, but then again, I didn’t really want to know. I placed the picture on the top of the bedspread, then looked around the rest of the room, I had almost forgotten what I had come in here for. “Pearl...could you...umm..” I stuttered. “Could you get the suitcase from my room. The black thing on my bed.” She nodded and walked out of the room. I quickly walked over to Rain’s closet and opened the door. I pulled clothes out without looking, throwing them onto her bed. Pearl came back, pulling the suitcase in behind her. I quickly stuffed some of Rain’s winter clothes inside, along with my clothes. Then I zipped it up and put it down next to the bed. “Do you think you can take this downstairs?” I asked. “I just want to look around for a moment.” Pearl nodded, grabbing the handle and walking out of the room. I stood there for a moment, looking around at the empty room. Then I walked over to the bed and picked up the photo. I stared down at it, trying to decide what to do. It only took a minute. I picked the small wooden box up and placed the photo inside it. I closed the lid, hearing the metallic click and the lock closed. Then I placed the box back where I found it, and closed the trunk. I took one last look around the room, then I walked out and shut the door behind me. Pearl was sitting at the table in the kitchen, and she smiled at me when I walked in. I just nodded, walking into the living room. There was one thing I really wanted to take with me. I walked over to the wall and took the picture off the wall. The one with Rain and I at the fair. She wanted me to remember good times we had. I would need this. I walked back into the kitchen and slipped it into the small pocket on the front of the suitcase. Then I pulled the tickets out of my pocket and looked at them. “Equestrian Airlines.” I said under my breath. “Two way...Los Pegasus...International Airport..” Everything seemed to be in order. I looked down the ticket at the departure time. It wasn’t until tomorrow morning. That meant we would have to stay here overnight. I looked at Pearl, and she looked back at me. I could see complete trust there. And I knew it would turn out alright. I made dinner that night. Nothing special, just some rolls and oat grain made into a bread. She seemed to like it, wolfing down half the bread before I even had a piece. I could see her eyes getting heavy even as we sat there. But she didn’t want to sleep after we finished eating. No, she wanted to go look at the stars. I obliged, of course. She looked so happy, looking up at those pinpricks of light, the moon making her fur glow. Finally, she was finished, and I took her back into the house and walked her up the stairs. She didn’t want to stay in Rain’s room, alone, and I really didn’t want that either. So she curled up under the covers next to me, holding me in a tight embrace. “I want you to know I will do everything I can to protect you.” I said quietly into the dark. I heard her sigh, pulling me closer to her. I could feel her fur against me, her warmth mixing with mine. I could feel her heart beat with mine, her chest rise and fall with mine. I felt as close to her as I ever had. More than any other pony, and I wanted to be even closer. And so did she. So, after, as our breathing slowed and we lay in each others embrace, it came as no surprise that the first thing she said was, “I love you.” All I could say was, “I love you, too.” as there was nothing left to say. Soon she fell asleep, and I was not long after. ***** The next morning, the light poured in through my window, falling over my pillow. I opened my eyes to a world of pink. Pearl had pressed herself against me, her head just under my chin and her back against my chest. I let out a small sigh, wrapping my forelegs around her. I could feel her shift, my movements waking her up. She flipped over, her muzzle almost touching mine. She pressed her lips against mine for a brief moment, and then broke away. “Good morning.” I said quietly. “Morning.” she said back to me in a calm, serene voice. I could have just laid there forever, under the covers with her, but I knew I couldn’t. We had to leave soon. But that didn’t stop me from enjoying her presence for a few minutes longer. I pulled her tighter against me, feeling her heartbeat again. It was slow and calm, but it did flutter whenever I moved my hoof up and down her back. She stroked my wings, pulling each feather apart from the other and straightening them out. One feather fell away from the rest, as they sometimes do, and she held it in front of her face, looking at the intricate veins, and the fluffy afterfeather near the bottom. I had a sudden idea. I gently took it from her grasp, placing it behind her ear. It stood out against her white fur so perfectly. She giggled a little, reaching up and feeling the soft down against her skin. I didn’t think she could have looked any more beautiful if she tried. I pulled her close and kissed her one more time, letting my emotions into that kiss. She wrapped her forelegs around my neck, pulling me in closer. I could feel the feather tickling my ear, but I didn’t mind. Finally, I was the one to break the kiss. “Come on, Pearl.” I said, pulling the sheets off. “We have to get going.” She jumped out after me, trotting down the stairs with me. The tickets were still on the suitcase where I had left them, and I picked them up and checked the time. We had just a few hours to spare, which was fine by me. I made some haphazard sandwiches, then did a doubletake to make sure we had everything we were going to need. Suddenly, a thought ran through my head, and I rushed outside. The mailponies were flying by overhead like they always did, heading towards the office downtown. I saw Lunar in the mass and called him down. “What’s up?” he asked, landing in front of me. I really wasn’t sure how I was going to say this. “I am leaving Baltimare.” I said simply. I explained to him how I was going to Los Pegasus, and probably wouldn’t be back for a long time, if ever. He seemed hurt, but he took it well. “So what do you want me to do?” he asked. “Well, you know how you have been wanting to get out of that tiny apartment you have? Well, now’s your chance.” A smile slowly spread on his face. “You have to be..no. You have to be kidding! Your house?! Really?!” I nodded. “She’s all yours after you get off for work. I just have one condition.” “Name it.” he said enthusiastically. “I will be back for all my stuff one day. So, please, don’t throw anything out. Just put it up in Rain’s room.” “Deal.” he said, shaking my hoof. “I can’t...I can’t thank you enough.” “There is no need to. Key’s under the mat. And Lunar, goodbye.” “See ya, man. I hope you like Los Pegasus!” With that, he jumped back into the air and flew off, his smile visible from almost a mile away. I trotted back into the house, Pearl watching me through the window. She walked out to see me when I reached the door. “Are you ready to go?” I asked her. She nodded. I smiled, walking back into the kitchen for the last time. I looked through the doorway into the living room, looking at all the pictures on the wall. I would be back for those. One day. I grabbed the suitcase off the table and trotted back out to Pearl. I locked the door before it closed. And when it shut, the deadbolt snapped into place with a metallic click. It sounded so final. But I knew that wasn’t right. This was just the beginning. ***** I was lucky the airport wasn’t too far from my house. I didn’t think I could carry both Pearl and the suitcase. We finally reached the airport, and I had to stop and look around. Masses of ponies walked around, leaving or entering buildings, pushing past one another on their way. A plane passed over us as we stood there. Long, low, completely made of wood. A team of ten massive pegasi stallions pulled it into the air, their harnesses and wings the only thing making a sound. I turned to Pearl, but she was just looking up at the plane, wonder in her eyes. I put my hoof in hers and gently pulled her along, heading for the right building. Everything after that was a blur of colors and faces. But everything seemed to slow down when we sat down in our seats. Pearl looked uneasy, looking around at all the other ponies. I could tell she didn’t like to be in here, but we had to do it. She finally relaxed, just in time for the takeoff. I felt the plane start to roll down the strip, until, finally, we lifted into the air. This part Pearl didn’t seem to mind, which confused me slightly. But I didn’t complain. The flight lasted about five hours, which was enough time for both of us to get sufficiently bored. But, finally, I felt the plane start to drop, and I perked up. I looked out the window, smiling when I saw it. The ocean, deep blue and rough, spreading away further than I could see. As the the plane turned, I could see the runway and the airport. The airport was a small building compared the the runways. And it just ended at the water, like the rest had fallen away into the sea. The plane turned again, and I got my first view of Los Pegasus. Chaos, that’s all I could describe it as. Chaos. Criss-crossing roads, streets, railroad lines. Overpasses rose from the land like breaching whales, then fall back to the ground like nothing had ever happened. Then the planes turned, and I lost my view. But one thing was for sure. We had made it. I walked out onto the sidewalk in front of the airport, Pearl at my side. Carriages and wagons rolled past, picking up and dropping off more ponies. I tried to think back to when I had seen this many bodies, but I couldn’t think of a time. But I didn’t focus on that. I focused on what lay in front of me. Sitting almost completely center in the Los Pegasus basin, passed miles and miles of suburban homes, parks, streets and yards, stood downtown Los Pegasus. Cloaked in smog, the skyscrapers looked like something you would have heard about in fairy tales. It looked like somepony had dropped giant spikes into the ground, and just forgot to pick them up. Mountains rose up in the distance, almost obscured by the smog and clouds. It seemed so out of the ordinary, but at the same time, fitting in the chaos of the city. Pearl seemed slightly frightened, but at the same time, brave. My feather, still behind her ear, moved with the wind, and I caught it as it almost flew away. I placed it back behind her ear, tucking some of her pink mane over it. “Home?” she said quietly. I nodded, looking out over the unfamiliar city. “Home.” ***** It’s been four years since I first set eyes on Pearl. Four years to the day. And I couldn’t have asked for better years. It had been perfect here. Just perfect. I still write to Silver. He told me about how they are reforming the hospital. Making the patient’s lives better. he says it was all because of me, and what I did. But I like to think I just showed them the way. He also wrote saying he was thinking about moving out to LP, and he might be doing it in the next couple months. I hope he does. I would like to see him again. I did go back for all of mine and Rain’s belongings. Lunar was happy to see me again after four years. He seemed to be getting along just fine. he did exactly as I asked. He put everything I owned in her room, and he said he never went back in after he moved everything. I was grateful for that. Pearl has matured. If you were to speak to her today, you would think nothing of it. She can speak perfectly, and she is even holding down a job working in one of the local nature preserves. She loves it that, and I can see why. There is one thing I haven’t told her though. I didn’t tell her about her past, before the hospital. She just seemed so happy without knowing, and I didn’t want to ruin that. But if she does ask me, I will tell her. I will not lie to her. We got married earlier this year. It wasn’t a very large wedding, just a few friends in a small ballroom. But, given the colors of our coats, we wanted to switch it up. Pearl wore black, and I wore white. She looked so beautiful in her dress, and she looked so happy. She didn’t have anyone to give her away, but she didn’t need anyone. She could do it by herself. I knew we were both thinking the same thing as we said our vows. Neither of us thought this day would happen before we met each other. She still wears the cloth around her ankle, but she does take if off every couple days and washes it. She also keeps the feather tucked behind her ear. Always. She even wore it during our wedding, which made me happy beyond belief. Pearl has said she wants to have foals, and I have to say, I agree with her. Our house just seems too empty, and so does our lives. We have discussed it, and we came to an agreement. If we have a daughter, we both want to name her the same thing. We want to name her Rain.
Chapter 1~Behind Blue Eyes~ Prelude Have you ever had one of those times, where something you set out to do just didn’t end how you wanted it to? They don’t usually end well do they? Either you get in trouble, or ponies get mad at you. Despite whatever intentions you had, there is no way you can fix it. Life just doesn’t seem fair like that does it? Now have you ever had one of those times, and the outcome was much more, and much better, than you could have imagined? Those times are probably some of the best you will ever have. It just seems like everything is going your way and the sun is shining just for you. These are times you will never forget. Something like this happened to me once. And I will never forget it. I may have gotten in trouble, I may have lost just about everything for it. But I didn’t care. I knew what I did was right, and I knew I had to do it. I don’t care what the other ponies thought of me. Have you ever had one of those times? If you have, I hope you hang on to the memory. Because it shows just who you really are. Chapter 1 I looked up at the large metal gate before me. I had seen it many times before, out passed the small cottages and large buildings of Baltimare. The concrete structure seemed so out of place, with its many windows, all covered by thick bars. The pure white exterior was contrasting garishly with the bright green of the forest and the pinks and yellows of the wildflowers that surrounded it. I still remembered the first time I had seen it, as a young colt looking out my window. I had asked my mother what it was. “It’s a place where special ponies go.” she had said, smiling down at me. “Stay away from there, it isn’t safe.” I had nodded and went back to my room to play, not really giving it another thought. I know now that she had been lying. She had been protecting me, at least at that young age, from the truth of what the building was. I looked a small sign on the white stone column a few feet to my left. Every few yard was another one of the columns, and in between was the interlocking metal fence. The metal one the sign had been engraved, and the lettered were still readable after years of erosion and rust. Baltimare Mental Hospital Now, looking up at the white concrete and barred windows, I am glad I listened to my mother and not ventured here. Even standing at the gate, about a hundred yards from the actual building, I could hear the sounds made by the sick ponies inside. I could have only imagined what this would have done to me as a foal. I stared up at the building for a few more moments, only to be jostled back to reality by a sharp voice to my right. “What business do you have here?” it asked in a no-nonsense voice. I looked around for the source, my eyes finally landing on a small plastic box affixed to the side of the column nearest to me. I walk over to it, locating a small red button under the speaker. “Umm, my name is Sky Spark.” I said, pushing the button in. “I was hired for the new guard position about a week ago.” I let go of the button, waiting for the response. A few seconds later, the voice came back on the speaker. “You are clear. Walk into the main building and ask the receptionist where to go.” A burst of static, and the voice was gone. A second later a loud buzz rang out, and the gate was pulled back. Shaking slightly, I stepped inside. A soon as I was clear of the gate, it closed behind me. I looked over my shoulder. Already the world seemed slightly grey from inside the walls. Underneath my hooves, gravel popped and crunched. Small bushes, reaching to about my withers, lined the skinny pathway. Small white flowers bloomed on the bushes, while pink, red, yellow, and orange wildflowers grew out behind the building. A halo of trees surrounded the building, as they had cleared a circle in the forest to make room for it. Time seemed to speed up as I walked towards the large wooden doors ahead of me. I reached them in no time. I opened the doors, finding them lighter than I would have thought, and walked inside. A blast of air conditioning was the first to meet me, followed the the cold. Compared to the humid, warm air outside, this was almost torture. I looked around, only seeing a reception desk and a pair of glass doors off to my right. I walk over to the desk, my hooves clacking against the tile floors. “Can I help you?” the mare at the desk asked. I realised I wasn’t sure what I should say. “Umm,” I started, sounding completely intelligent. “I was hired for the security job about a week ago. I am not really sure where to go..” my voice trailed off. I must have sounded like an idiot. But the receptionist just smiled and reached under her desk. A second later, a small buzz rang out, and the two glass doors slid open. “Go right in.” she said. “Three doors down on the right, then hang a left. It’s the door at the end of the hall.” She smiled again. She had a very pretty face, which threw me off a little. I nodded my thanks, seeming to have lost my voice, then turned and walked through the doors. After a few second, they shut behind me. I looked over my shoulders, noticing that the glass in the doors was one-way. I could see in, but not out. Something about that made me feel scared. I knew I wouldn’t like this place. I guess I was right. I followed her directions, and soon found myself facing a brightly polished wooden door. The sounds from the patients were even louder now that I was inside, and I found it very disconcerting. I was already on edge, and I had only been inside for about three minutes. I raised my hoof and knocked on the door, waiting for a response. After a moment, I got one. “Just a moment.” a gruff voice said. A moment later, the door opened, and a stallion stuck his head out. “Yes? What do you want?” he said briskly. I was thrown off track again. “I, ummm...”I said nervously. “M-my name is Sky Spark. I was hired--” “Ah, yes, I remember you!” the stallion said, opening to door a little wider. “Please, come in. We have some things to discus.” He turned and walked inside the room. I followed him in, feeling a welcoming blast of warmth. “I thought you might like to meet here instead of the employee lounge.” The stallion said, smiling slightly. “At least there is a heater in here.” I smiled, looking over the stallion. He had a dark grey coat with a sandy brown mane. His eyes were dark green. He walked with a slight limp, but I saw no signs of an injury. He sat down behind a desk that was the same wooden color as his door was. He pointed to a chair opposite him, and I sat down. “I normally have to tell the new recruits what they will be dealing with.” the stallion said. “But I see that you already have some basic training. Where did you get it?” This was one question I really didn’t want to answer. “My sister.” I said, my voice quiet. “She heard voices all her life, right up to the day she...died. I had to take care of her, help her when she was really bad. Comfort her when the voices wouldn’t even let her think straight. That is my prior training.” “I am very sorry to hear, but stories like that are far too common around here.” the stallion said, looking over his shoulder at a framed picture. A young filly was smiling away, a backdrop of flowers and clouds behind her. “Far, far, too common. How long did you take care of her, if you don’t mind me asking.” “Seventeen years.” I answered. “My mother didn’t want to send her to a place like this, so she kept her at home. I still think that is part of the reason she died.” The stallion nodded solemnly. “Normally we ask our recruits to take a training course, but I think you are well suited for what we are giving you.” he held out his hoof, and I shook it. “All you need to do is pass the probation period, but I think you will do just fine.” “Where do I have to go now?” I ask, more nervous than ever. “The locker rooms, two doors down. You will find your locker and uniform there. You will also find another employee, Silverhoof there. he will show your your duties.” I nod, standing up. “Thank you for hiring me. I am probably not the most qualified.” ‘No, but I can tell you have a kind heart, and you need that in a place like this.” I nod again, turning and walking out of the room. I didn’t realize until then how much I was shaking. This should be second nature to me! Why was I shaking so much? I close the door behind me, and I leaned up against the wall. Was this a mistake, I asked myself. But I knew it wasn’t. I turned and walked back down the hallway, heading towards the locker room. I push the door open, peaking inside. The room was smaller than I thought it would have been. Rows of lockers, stacked two high, ringed the white walls. Spare uniforms hung on wires at the very back of the room, flapping slightly in the air conditioned breeze. The place looked deserted, but it wasn’t. A locker off to my right closed, and a stallion stood up. He had black fur with a light grey mane. Deep violet eyes stared out at me as he turned, smiling. Small accents of Silver around his hooves was the only other color about him. He walked over and held out his hoof. I took it in my own. My purple fur stood out against his own black. “So, you’re the newbie, I take it?” he said. His voice was slightly higher than I would have thought it would have been. I nod, losing my voice again. Meeting new ponies always did that to me. “My name is Silverhoof, and it is my job to show you around this little slice of heaven.” “Sky Spark.” I said quietly. “I was told I had to get a uniform?” “Well, your locker is right over there.” he said, pointing to a locker labeled “S. Spark”. “You will need to put the uniform before I can take you into the ward.” I nod, walking over to my locker. Taped to the door is a small piece of paper with the combination to the locker. I stare at it for a few moments, then laughed. “What is it?” Silverhoof asked, walking over. I wave him off, turning back to the locker. “It’s nothing. It’s just the combination is also my birthday.” I spin the dial around, then open the door. Waiting inside is a uniform like the ones I saw on the wall, a small orange bottle of pills, and a mirror, which was turned away from me. I spun it around to face me, and was startled to see what was reflected back. My bright yellow eyes were wide, almost afraid. My blue mane was slightly disheveled, and the white stripe was less prominent, sinking in with the other color. I try my best to straighten it out, and only succeed slightly. At least you could see the white stripe clearer now. Next, I pull out the uniform, which was a white tunic, buttoning up the front, with my name sewn into it with gold lettering. I slipped it over my fore-legs, letting it fall into place on my shoulders. I buttoned up the front, then my eyes fell onto the small orange bottle. I pick it up and turn around to look at Silverhoof. “What is this for?” I ask, shaking the bottle. The pills inside rattled as I did. Silver ran a hoof through his mane. “Ohh, boy. how to explain those?” he said, turning in place a couple times. “Those are for, well, if one of the patients gets a little too....rowdy” he said, not looking at me. “We force them to take one of those, and they are out like a light. It doesn’t sound pleasant, I know. But it is better than letting them hurt themselves or us.” “I guess...” I said, putting the pills in one of the side pockets on the uniform. But there was something else inside the pocket. I pulled it out, seeing a wad of white cloth. I looked up at Silver, confused. “It’s just a handkerchief.” he said. “You never know when you might need it.” I nod, putting it back in my pocket. “What now?” “Now, I show you where you will be stationed.” Silver said, turning and opening the door to the locker room. I walked outside, closely followed by Silver. “We usually give the newbies the same patient to watch over.” Silver said, starting to walk down the hallway. I had to trot to keep up, as he was taking long strides. “She is a tough one, and she usually whips the newbies into shape in no time. But I heard you already had some experience.” he said, looking sideways at me. “So I guess it won’t be any trouble for you.” “I guess it won’t.” I agree. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t care much for Silver. “What is her..problem?” I asked, hating the term. “We don’t know exactly.” Silver said. “She has never been properly diagnosed. As far as we can guess, she has acute dementia with some Schizophrenia. She seems almost normal at times, but at others, she can get violent or severely depressed. As a result, we had to move her to the isolation ward.” We had reached the end of the hall by now, and were standing in front of another pair of glass doors. Silver pulled a keyring out of his pocket, chose one of the many, and slid it into the lock. He opened the door and stepped through, I followed, and he shut it behind me. It took me a moment to realize that this was an elevator. Silver turned to a row of button, pushing the one at the top. The elevator gave a little jolt, and began to rize. I never liked elevators. I always felt trapped inside of them. But I guessed I would have to get used to them if I wanted to keep this job. “Isolation is at the top floor.” he said. “We felt it was the best place for them. At least they aren’t hidden underground somewhere.” “It’s probably best.” I agreed, as the doors shut. ***** Her mind worked as it always had, trying to comprehend what she was seeing, even though she had seen it everyday, every second, for as long as she could remember. White. White lights. White walls. White world. That is what she knew. But she knew there was more. More color. She saw it every time she shook her head, and her mane fell across her eyes. She saw it every time that little place in the door opened. Or when they brought her food. She liked food. She especially like the colors. She was looking up at the ceiling, trying to remember how she got on her back. Wherever she was, it was soft. Comfortable. She moved, and was startled to realize something was on top of her. But she wouldn’t let that stop her. She moved some more, and whatever it was slipped off of her and onto the floor. She straightened out, placing her hooves on the floor. Suddenly, she remembered. It was this world. It wasn’t the other. A mixture of grief and relief washed over her, soon replaced by anger. She wanted to be in the other world. The other world was more fun. It had her friends. It had color. She wanted to go back, but she didn’t know how. She just went there sometimes. Just thinking about it made her head hurt worse than normal. She started to walk, remembering her normal routine. She walked around the room, as far as she could go. She made no noise, even her hoof-falls were muffled. As she walked, she trailed a small hoof around the wall, as she had always done. But she never looked over at the wall. She wondered why she had never done this, and decided to look. She had to blink several times, wondering what she was seeing. Right where he hoof was, white against white, was a small groove in the padding. The groove wrapped all the way around the room, coming back to touch her hoof again. She cocked her head, wondering where that had come from. She hadn’t noticed that the last time she looked. But then she wondered when the last time she looked was, and couldn’t remember. Had it been before the other world? It had to have been. But what did the other world look like. She felt another wave of sadness wash over her as she realized she couldn’t remember the other world. It was just a blur of colors. She slowly lowered her hoof to the floor, only to let out a gasp of pain as she put weight on it. She looked down, but saw nothing but the white floor and her white hoof. She tried again, but let out a sharp exhale as she was met with the same result. She looked around the room, remembering the feeling from the day before. She didn’t know what happened, she just hurt. She limped over to her bed, sitting on the edge. She didn’t want to hurt again, but she didn’t know what to do. She tried to think back to the other world, but she could barely remember anything. All she could remember, was a warmth. Something she was sure she had never felt before. Suddenly, she heard a noise. She looked over to the one corner. That corner. It never opened, at least that she saw. Just a small window opened every now and then, and that same face looked in at her. The only color in her white world. She heard hoofsteps, as she usually did. But she also heard something else. It sounded like voices. That was something new. She got up and limped towards the door. ***** The doors opened onto a hallway that looked completely unlike the others. Unpainted concrete walls with white tile floors went on for about twenty feet, before ending at a metal door. A small office sat off to the side, with a pile of magazines and books stacked on a chair. I looked up at Silver, who smiled at me. “Not much, I know.” he said, walking out of the elevator. “But we all worked here once. Kind of a rite of passage, you could say.” “Is she through that door?” I asked, pointing at the grey metal door at the end of the hallway. Silver nodded, gesturing for me to follow him. I walked with him, and as we got closer, I could hear a soft sound coming from the door. It almost sounded like whimpering, but I wasn’t sure. We reached the door, and Silver pulled back a small metal door near the top, about on eye level. He looked through, and frowned. But he stepped back and pointed at it. I nodded, walking forwards and looking through the hole. All I could think of at first was how white it was. The floors, the ceilings, even the very metal that held up the bed was white. Even the light was a white fluorescent bulb. But there was one thing I didn’t see. A patient. I tried to move my head to get a better view, but nothing. Suddenly, my vision was obscured by blue, black, and white. I let out a soft yell, jumping back a couple feet. When I turned back, I saw whatever the colors had been was gone. I turned to Silver, who was laughing, leaning against the nearest wall. “I knew she would do that!” he said, trying to stop himself from laughing. “She always does that when we bring in someone new.” “Those were her eyes?” I asked, startled. Silver nodded, pointing back at the small hole. “Look again, you probably scared her more than she scared you.” I give him a suspicious look, walk back up to the door anyway. I peer through, and this time, I actually got to see her. What stuck me the most, when I first saw her, where her eyes. I had never seen anything like them before. Large, very large. And blue. Amazingly blue. I don’t just mean the typical blue you see on most of the blonde mares. These eyes were the clearest blue you could ever see. Blue like the tropical oceans ponies always put on calendars. But that wasn’t what kept me looking. Every time she moved, the light would catch a speck of silver in the irises. Some mares eyes sparkled because of her make up. Hers literally sparkled. And they were deep. They looked like they went on forever. It was like looking into the morning sky, just before the stars vanish. Against my will, I tore my eyes away from hers, looking at the rest of her. Her fur was white, perfectly white. So much so that she seemed to vanish into the back wall. If her eyes weren’t open, and her mane and tail of curly pink hair weren’t there, I didn’t think I could have spotted her. But the strangest part was, she just kept staring back at me. I somehow got the feeling she was the one studying me, not me her. She cocked her head, looking at me with a mixture of fear and curiosity. She slowly stood up off the bed, and walked towards me. I was startled to see, with every other step, she limped. A soft whimper escaped her lips, the only sound I had heard her make. I looked back and forth between Silver and the pony in the cell. “How long has she been limping?” I asked. Silver shrugged, and I felt anger flare up inside of me. “She has been limping like that for a few days now.” Silver said, shrugging again. “We thought it would heal if we just left it alone.” My eyes narrowed, and I turned back to the door. I was starting to really not like him. I looked down at the door, seeing the handle and the lock. I reached down and opened the lock, pulling them metal bar out of its socket. Silver eyes widened as he saw what I was doing. “You can’t go in there!” he yelled, grabbing my hoof. “You can only go in if there is a real problem” “A patient is hurt.” I said, pulling my hoof out of his grasp. “This is a real problem.” I reached back down and opened the metal door. It squeaked on its hinges as it opened, and I heard a rustle of hooves as I stepped inside the small cell. Silver watched me with bated breath, both worried and curious about what was going to happen. The mare had backed up into the opposite corner, her eyes wide and afraid. I did my best to make myself appear less threatening. “It’s OK.” I said, my voice quiet and calm. “I’m not going to hurt you.” I slowly inched forward, moving as slow as possible. Those stunning blue eyes followed my every move, occasionally flashing back to Silver, but only for a fraction of a second before coming right back to me. “I’m not going to hurt you.” I say again. I could see her slowly begin to relax, coming away from the wall slightly. But she kept her hoof off the ground, pulling it in tight to her body. I looked over my shoulder at Silver, who was still staring at me. “Can she understand me?” “As far as we can tell, she understands a little. But we aren’t sure how far that goes.” I nod, turning back to the mare. “I am going to touch you now.” I said quietly. “Please do not be afraid.” As I said this, I pulled the white handkerchief out of my pocket. The mare just blinked at me, but she didn’t try to move. I decided to think that she understood what I was saying. I inched forwards again, now about a foot away from her. Up close her eyes were even more spectacular. The small specks of silver glittered more rapidly, and the deep blue was exactly like a sapphire. I reached out, slowly and calmly, and touched she shoulder. Immediately I felt a reaction. A visible shiver ran down her entire body. She sucked in a quick breath, and her whole body tensed. Behind me, Silver inhaled loudly, but the mare didn’t move again. She just stared at me with those beautiful eyes. I stared right back, trying to explain to her I meant no harm. After a few moments, I felt her body relax, and only then did I dare to move again. I moved my hoof down her fore-leg, the one she was holding close to her body. Gently, I pulled it away from her chest, out into the air. With my other hoof, I held up the handkerchief, twisting it and showing it to her. She watched it, mesmerized. Then I folded it until it was in a long rectangle, and I wrapped it around her hoof and wrists. I felt her try to pull away, but I kept my grip and stopped what I was doing. After a few moments, she relaxed again, and I tied a small knot in the cloth. I pulled it tight, which brought a small gasp from the mare, but then I let go. She pulled her hoof up to her body again, staring down at the cloth on her fore-leg. She looked up at me, then down at the cloth again. She cocked her head once or twice, but then her eyes lit up. She got off her haunches, still holding the hoof off the ground. But then she slowly started to lower it. She placed it on the ground, keeping most of her weight off of it. She walked a couple steps, still limping, but not as bad as before. A smile lit up her face as she took a couple happy jumps. I held out my hooves, afraid she would hurt herself. She stopped jumping immediately. But something had changed in her. The mistrust I had seen in her eyes was gone. Replaced was something else. Not quite trust, but if there was something that could be both mistrusting and trusting at the same time, that was it. She blinked at me a couple times, a small smile on her lips. I smiled back, backing out of the cell. As soon as I was out, Silver shut the door and bolted it. He slammed the shutter in place on the small hole, then turned back to me. “That was risky. Too risky.” he said, pulling me away from the door. “Do not do something like that again.” “She was hurt!” I protested. "I had to do something!” “Well, call up a medical team next time.” Silver said, depositing me next to the chair and pile of books. “You could have hurt yourself, let alone her.” He ran a hoof down his face, turning in one spot a couple times. “Just, don’t do anything like that again.” “Fine.” I said through gritted teeth. “Would you care to tell me what my job is then?” “Your job, is very simple.” Silver said. “Watch her, make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble, and try not to go crazy from boredom.” “That’s it?” I asked, stunned. “I just watch her?!” Silver nodded. “I never said it was fun, but everyone had to do it. Even I did. I am the one who brought the books in, so you’re welcome.” he said, starting to turn away. “So I just sit here, and make sure nothing happens?” I asked, unable to comprehend. Silver reached the elevator and turned around, smiling a mischievous smile. “Have fun!” Then he pressed the button and walked through the doors. I let out a sigh, collapsing into the chair. This was crazy! I should have been helping with the severe cases, not stuck up here with.... My mind stopped working there. I realized that I hadn’t asked silver her name. But then I had an idea. I got up from the chair and walked over to the cell. I pulled the hatch open, peering inside. There she sat, on the edge of her bed, looking up at me. She didn’t seem dangerous, and she barely seemed mad. But looks are deceiving. “Umm, hello.” I said. She blinked at me, a small smile returning to her lips. She raised her hoof, showing the cloth I had just put there. “I am glad it is feeling better. I just want to ask you something, is that alright?” I didn’t know if she could understand me, but she cocked her head, so I took that as a yes. “What’s your name?” There was a slight change in her demeanour as soon a I asked that. A flash of fear crossed her face and her eyes widened more than that already were. But after a few moments, it passed, and was replaced by a look of relief. She got off her bed and turned around, pointing down at a something on the bed. I squinted, trying to figure it out. She was pointing at...a bolt? No, no, that couldn’t be right.. But as soon as I figured that out, she straightened up. This time, she pointed at her shoulder. I shook my head, showing her I had no idea what she was telling me. She blinked a couple times, then held up her two front hooves. She pressed them close together, leaving a small gap between. “What...small...is it something small?” I asked, she lowered her hooves and cocked her head, blinking again. I took that as meaning correct. Then she pointed at her shoulder again. “Heart? Is that right?" She blinked a couple times more, looking around her cell. She began pointing at anything her eyes landed on. The walls, the ceiling, her bed. I tried to figure out what they all had in common. “White?” I said finally. “Something small and white.?” She blinked once, lowering her hooves to the ground. I waited for her to gesture again, but she didn’t. “Something small and white....” I rolled that around inside my mind. Finally, something jumped out at me. “Is your name Pearl?” A large smile crossed her lips, and she blinked again. She walked forward and placed a single hoof through the small hole. I looked at it, wondering what she wanted. But then I remembered what had happened to her when I touched her shoulder. That shiver that had run through her body. Carefully, I reached out to her hoof. I gingerly placed mine on hers, and I felt it again. The same shiver, almost as if she had gotten shocked. Her eyes closed, and a smile crossed her lips again. Why did this happen to her, I began to wonder. When was the last time she had been touched by another pony? She pulled away, her hoof slipping out from under mine. She blinked at me again, then turned and went back to her bed. She sat down on the edge again, facing the opposite wall. I knew Silver said that I would get bored here, but I didn’t see it happening. There was something about her, something I couldn’t place. A grace to her movements, as if every one of her small twitches and movements were planned out minutes or even hours before. I leaned up against the door, keeping my head resting against it so I could see her at all times. I tried to imagine what it was like inside her head. What she must see the world like, if she even knew what was going on around her. She didn’t seem to notice me anymore, she just focused on the wall across from her. After a while, I didn't know how much time had passed, I started to see those brilliant eyes close. She started to sway a little. Before long, she slumped sideways into the bed, eyes fully closed. Her small chest slowly rising and falling with each breath. I smiled, it had been like watching a foal fall asleep when they didn’t want to. The disheveled curly pink mane only added to the picture. I quietly closed the small hatch, tip-hoofing back to the chair. I sat down, settling in for my first day with this pony. If only I had know how much my life would change within the next week. ***** The looked up at the groove in the wall across from her. She tried to remember when the last time she had seen the walls, but she couldn’t. Everything was such a blur. She didn’t like blur. She wanted to remember. But she did remember her hoof. She looked down at it, seeing the cloth that had been placed over it. It was white, like her fur. She liked white, but she wanted something else. She was glad it didn’t hurt so much anymore, and she liked the new pony. He had helped her, unlike that other pony. She had heard that other pony yelling at the new one. That had made her mad. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see the little door opened, those yellow eyes looking through at her. Normally she would have been upset, she didn’t like ponies watching her. But he had helped her, so she didn’t mind is he watched her. She felt he was different from the others. But she couldn’t tell what. She felt that feeling in her eyes, and they began to close. That was the only other color in her life. Black. She only saw it when she closed her eyes. But she didn’t like it either. She wanted something new. Something happy. But it was only those two. That, and the color of her mane, she didn’t know the name for it. She felt her eyes close, and she fell sideways onto the bed. The last thing she saw where the yellow eyes looking in on her. She liked yellow. It was a happy color. Then her eyes closed completely, and she was taken by sleep.
Chapter 2~Behind Blue Eyes~ Chapter 2 She looked around her eyes wide with fear and hope. She didn’t know where she was, but she did know one thing. She wasn't in the white place anymore. There were colors everywhere. Colors beyond anything she could have imagined. The deepest reds, scattered across the fields in front of her. The brightest greens, covering the trees and bushes. The softest blue, tinting the sky above her. There was white, she did see that, but she didn’t care. There was so little of it, and it was masked by the beauty of what she was seeing. She looked around again, unsure of how she came to be there. There were no hoofprints behind her, nor in front of her. But, slowly, the feeling of confusion left. She didn’t care how she got there. She was just glad she was there. Slowly, she picked up her hoof. It had a cloth tied around it, and she couldn’t remember why. She pulled it off with her teeth, and it fluttered to the ground, a white square against the red flowers and green grass. She put the hoof down, about a foot in front of the others. As it fell back to the ground, a shiver rolled through her body as the feeling of the soft grass caressed her hoof and leg. She took another hesitant step forward, but was brought to a halt by a noise behind her. She looked over her shoulder, fear spreading through her again. But when she saw what it was, her fear left her in a blast of joy. Several ponies, all identical to each other, were galloping over the ridge behind her. They made no noise as they ran towards her, just the sound of their hooves against the ground. She turned around to meet them, finally realizing where she was. She was back in the other world. She was home. The four ponies stopped in front of her, all smiling an identical smile. Their pink eyes sparkled and their blue manes blew in the slight breeze. She walked forward and embraced them one by one. It felt like years since she had seen them. And now that she thought about it, she couldn’t remember the last time she saw them. When she had greeted each of them, she took a step back, just looking at each of them. Their fur was white, like hers was. When they moved, it was like a giant pencil had erased the color from that part of the world. The one closest to her, the stallion, gestured down past the ridge behind them, and she nodded. As one, they took off galloping down the ridge, towards a place that she remembered so easily, but had forgot so fast. Below them, a grand meadow stood, as if waiting for them. Fields of wildflowers all different colors, blew in the breeze like a rainbow wave. A river, as blue as the sky above them, curled through flowers, occasionally catching the light from the sun and flaring up in a brilliant rainbow. She felt that familiar feeling rise in her chest. She was home, finally. And she was home with her family. Before any of the others could move, she had already raced down into the meadow. But every step she took, the meadow fell back the same amount. She felt like she was running in place. She looked back over her shoulder, and saw that her friends were falling back as well. Eyes wide, fear spreading through her, she turned and started to gallop back to them. But they continued to fall back, without moving. Slowly, the colors began to drain from the world, leaving everything white as her fur. Then, it started to turn black. It started at the corners of her eyes, then slowly moved until it was just a circle around her friends. Tears fell from her face as she saw them disappear from her vision completely. Then the black crashed down upon her, and she opened her eyes. ***** He opened his eyes, watching the sun peek its head above the forest in the distance. A small smile spread across his lips as his single yellow took in the scene around him. Just three days ago had been his twenty-first birthday, and the evidence showed. Piles of wrapping paper and cardboard boxes sat in the corners of his room. The telescope his mother had bought him sat in his window, looking out at the sun just as he was. He stretched, hearing the joints in his wings popping as she stood. It was still early morning, so he did his best to walked quietly to the window. He didn’t want to wake his mother. He especially didn’t want to wake his sister. She got so little sleep as it was, she needed all she could get. He looked out the window, watching the early morning ponies and pegasi walk and flap their ways to work. He waved at his friend, Lunar, who was on his way to the post office. Lunar looked slightly worried and flapped his way over to where he stood. “What’s wrong?” Sky asked as soon as Lunar was within earshot. Lunar’s pure white eyes were extremely worried and confused. He had once been asked to help a unicorn with a iris color changing spell. Now his irises and pupils were pure white. “I don’t know is there is a problem, but your sister is up on a cloud about fifty yards behind your house.” he said. Lunar was the only one Sky had told about his sister’s disease, so he always knew there was a problem. “She’s where!?” he yelled, sending Lunar into a backflip. He righted himself, and pointed behind him. “She’s on a cloud up in the sky.” he said again. “And she looked weird. I would hurry if I were--” Sky had flown passed him before he could even complete the sentence. He flew as fast as she could, which wasn’t that fast by pegasus standards. Even from this far away, he knew instantly what Lunar had been talking about. There was only one cloud in the sky. And a single figure was standing on it. He dropped to the ground below it, looking up at the face he loved so much. Her pure, blue fur, topped with a mane of deep purple, but streaked with white just as his own. And she looked down at him, a blank expression on her face. “What are you doing up there, Rain?” he called up. He knew he shouldn’t be showing emotion, but his voice was shaking. Rain looked back at him, her bright blue eyes staring him straight in the face, swimming with tears. “I can’t take this anymore.” she said, so quietly that he could barely hear her. “All these voices, all the words. They aren’t mine!” He words were choked with tears, and as she said them, Sky felt a single tear land on his muzzle. “I want the to stop, forever...” “Don’t say that!” he called back. “Just come down from the cloud. We can fix it.” “They aren’t mine!” she screamed back. “They say things I don’t want to hear, thoughts I’ve never thought before. I want them to stop! I want this to be over.” “They will stop.” he promised hollowly. “We’ve made them stop before, we can do it again.” But Rain just shook her head, taking another step towards the edge. She mouthed something, but sky couldn’t hear her from so far away. “Please come down!” he called again. “I will make the voices stop.” “You’ve never made the voices stop....” she said, closing her eyes. “The voices never stop. I want to be free.” “Rain, what are you doing?” At that moment, she folded in her wings, and she took a single step into the air. “Rain, STOP!!” He watched as she tumbled off the cloud, falling towards the ground. A guttural scream ripped from his lungs as he ran forward, already knowing he would never be able to catch her. Pain and anguish and misery and rage fought for the front spot in his mind. But in all this, he looked at her face as she feel. There was not a single regret present in that face he loved so much. It was perfectly calm, emotionless. Like she had just fallen asleep. But her works had stuck in his brain like a splinter in a hoof. All the times he had helped her. All the times he had fought the voices away. All the times he thought he had made her better, was a lie. He thought he had been making her better, when in reality, she was doing the same to him, at her own expense. and now, she was paying the price for it. He watched her fall, her body just feet above the ground. The world narrowed until all he could see was her, and then she too turned black. And with a flash of white, he opened his eyes. ***** I sat bolt upright in bed, a loud yell ripping through my bedroom. My breathing was ragged, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I looked around the room, eyes wide, but I saw nothing. With a sigh, I fell back onto the bed, emotions running wild inside me. For several minutes I just lay there, trying to control my breathing. I wanted desperately to cry. To just curl up into a ball and not move, but I knew I couldn’t. She wouldn’t want me to do that. I took a deep breath and pulled myself out of my bed. I looked around my room. Not much had changed since the time that memory took place. The piles of open presents were gone, however, but the telescope was still in my window, looking out over the eastern horizon. My uniform was hanging on the hook on my closet door, and I pulled it off, hearing the bottle of pills rattling inside. I walked down the stairs, jumping carefully over the one that always creaked, and landed in front of the front door. I looked at the door, knowing I had to go in to work. But I had the weirdest feeling about it. I didn’t want to and really wanted to all at the same time. But I knew I had to go in, so I rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a muffin, and walked out the door. ***** She looked around the room, a feeling of panic and fear running through her mind. She tried to remember where she was, but all she could remember was the other world. The world with colors. The world with her friends. She sat up, wondering how she had wound up on her back. She looked around the room, seeing nothing but white. Suddenly, it hit her. She was back here, in this world. She stood up, placing her hooves down on the padded floor. She left out a soft yelp, then looked down at her leg. There was something wrapped around it. Something white. Slowly, the memory dawned on her. That nice pony had put it there. It had stopped the pain. She slowly limped around the room, trailing her hoof on the wall. Once again, she decided to look at the wall. And once again, she stopped, wondering how the groove had been carved into the wall. She cocked her head, listening for any sounds. But all she could hear was her own breathing. But there would be sounds soon. There always was once she was back in this world. So she limped over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it. She tried to think back to the other world, her home. But she could only remember a shimmer of colors. She tried desperately to cling on to that shimmer, but that soon faded against the white of the room. A few minutes after that, the memory was gone completely, and she didn’t even remember the world anymore. ***** I walked back into the locker room, already wearing my uniform. Silver wasn’t in there today, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t want to talk to him anyway. I opened the locker, smiling as I spun the dial to my birthday, and I dropped the small object I had brought with me from home onto the shelf. I had decided, after watching Pearl for a day, I would start a journal. I didn’t know why I decided to do it at the time. I guess it was just something to keep my busy. I shut my locker and turned around. I was about to leave, when I saw a small object hanging from the lightswitch by the door. I walked over, and as I got closer, I noticed it was a key. A small paper note was taped to it with my name on the outside. I pulled it off the switch and flipped over the paper. Hey, newbie. This is the key to the elevator. Have fun up there! -- Silver I pulled the note off and dropped it into the trashcan by the door. Newbie, I was really getting tired of that name. But I guessed I would have to live with it. I left the locker room and headed the way we had the day before. I was really looking forward to seeing her again. But for the life of me, I couldn’t tell why. The doors opened onto that hallway again, and I stepped out, hearing my hooves clack against the laminate floor. The magazines which I hadn’t touched were still piled on the chair. But I didn’t head towards those. Instead, I walked down the hallway towards the door. Carefully, as quietly as I could, I slid back the small hatch and peered in. Instantly, i was greeted with the deepest, brightest blue I had ever seen. But I didn’t flinch this time, I smiled when I saw her eyes blink. “Hello, Pearl.” I said quietly. She moved away from the hatch, and I got a look into her room. A small metal tray was sitting by her bed, the remnants of food still on it. I looked at it for a moment, almost yelling at myself for forgetting to ask someone about that. I looked back at Pearl, who was just sitting on her bed, cocking her head at me. “Mind if I take that?” I asked softly. She blinked, but didn’t move, so I took that as a yes. I unbolted the door and walked in, keeping one eye on her at all times. But she made no attempts to move, despite the fact that the door was wide open. I picked up the tray and turned around, and that was when I saw it. I felt the tray slip from my grasp, landing on the soft padding with a muffled “Whomp”. All I could do was stare, my mouth hanging open. The entire wall in front of me, the one with the door in it, looked like it had been used as a canvas. Greens and yellows were spread across it, with dabs of oranges thrown in. I stared at it, slowly taking in what I was seeing. It was a landscape. That much I was sure. Fields of green stretched across the bottom of the wall, rising for about a foot them stopping. Occasionally, some of the green would rise higher, peaking in small mounds. It took me a moment, but I realized those were hills. The dabs of yellow and orange were flowers, I realized. Outlines of clouds looked like they had been carved in the padding. And in the upper corner, how a child would draw it, was the sun. I looked down at the try at my hooves, then back up at the scene several times, the reality slowly dawning on me. She had painted this. She had painted this with her own food. Vegetables, oats, who knows what else, all ground up into a paste then thrown together to create this scene. Slowly, I turned and faced her, but she looked away almost immediately. I gently knelt down beside her, touching her hoof, which I then realized was covered with the leftovers of her painting. The same shiver ran through her body, and she looked at me, an odd emotion displayed in her eyes. “Pearl, why did you do that?” I asked, already knowing she wouldn’t answer. She just cocked her head at me, not even blinking. I looked back at the scene. It looked like something you would see hanging in a childs room, but I knew it meant something else. Ponies just don’t do something like this, out of nowhere. “Pearl, did you even eat anything?” She just cocked her head again, not blinking. I sighed, letting go of her hoof and turning around. I walked out of the room, shutting and locking it behind me. I knew I should probably say something to someone, but that could wait. I just wanted to watch and see what she did with this. ***** Journal, Day 2. Pearl just sat there on the bed, staring at the scene. I had never seen anypony do something like that before. It was almost like she wanted to dive right in, but knew she couldn’t. After a while, I am not sure how long, maybe a couple hours, she passed out like she had the day before. When my shift ended, I went downstairs and asked Silver about this. He said it happens periodically, and it’s nothing I should be worried about. The cleaning crew would take care of it. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but it didn’t. I tried to shake the feeling, but I just couldn’t. I knew this had to mean something. P.S I dreamed of Rain again. This time I had a breakdown. I can’t keep seeing her like this. ***** Her friends rode over the ridge again, and she embraced them one by one. The sun shined down on them, making their white fur glow as they galloped over the field. Petals flew out behind them. Her heart was beating faster than ever before as she raced through the grass and flowers. She looked over her shoulder, seeing her friends right behind her. The stallion smiled mischievously, then raced ahead of her, petals hitting her in the face. She caught one on her tongue, then tore off after him. Together they raced through the flowers, hearts pumping, breath exploding from their lungs. But the whole time, they smiled. Finally, after a long while, she collapsed in the flowers, shivers running up and down her form as the petals and leaves tickled her. The stallion trotted over, breathing hard and dropped to the ground next to her. The others arrived shortly afterwards, laying down next to her as well. Their sides pressed hers, and she sighed at the feeling of contact. She turned her eyes towards the sky. It was the most brilliant blue she had ever seen. Clouds floated by, but she didn’t like those as much. They were white, and she didn’t really like white. Except for her friends. But she did like the shapes the clouds made. A shadow passed over them, and she looked around, not seeing anything. Shrugging, she looked back at the sky, and was startled to see it was completely black. She turned to look at her friends, but they were gone too. She rushed to her hooves, as, already, her world was shrinking down. Black was closing in, and she had nowhere to turn. With a deafening silence, she opened her eyes. ***** Journal, Day 3 She seemed subdued today. I don’t know why. She acknowledged me when I came in, and she seemed happy to see me. But after that, she just sat on her bed, staring at the wall. She ate, thank Celestia, and she didn’t paint on the walls again. I don’t know what has gotten into her. I have been thinking of asking around, trying to find out about her past before she came to the hospital. But I also want to know why she is so skittish all the time. What has happened to her in the past that would cause her to be like this? She’s looking at me now, like she wants to say something, but can’t. But there is still something nagging at me. When was the last time she had been outside? ***** I woke up the next morning, waiting for the sun to shine through the curtains. But instead I was jolted out of bed by a blast of thunder. I trotted over, pulling the curtains back and looking out at the sky. Rain pounded the windows,and clouds swirled in the sky. A flash of lighting, along with another burst of thunder brought a smile to my lips. This was my favorite type of weather. I stood at the window for a few moments, just looking out at the rain. Then I turned and trotted down the stairs. I grabbed my raincoat out of the closet. I hadn’t touched it in about a year, so the rubber was tough and stiff. The sleeves squeaked as I walked towards the kitchen. I jumped slightly as a particularly loud blast of thunder rolled across the sky, but smiled almost instantly. It might just be a good day. I grabbed a muffin out of the basket on my kitchen counter and headed for the door. I stepped out onto my rain-drenched lawn, hearing the sound of the drops hitting my rubber coat. Most pegasi would just fly in this weather, wearing nothing but goggles. Their own speed would be enough to create a cone of air around them and keep them dry. But there is the problem. I haven’t flown in four years. Not since Rain....died. I stopped myself there, shaking the memory off. With a small sigh, I walked out into the rain towards the hospital. ***** I arrived with very little grace, my legs and face soaking wet, and my coat sticking to my fur and feathers. I buzzed myself passed the gate and walked up towards the front doors. Rivers of water flowed past me, and waterfalls fell from the roof as the gutters carried the rain away. Looking up at the building, it suddenly seemed much more menacing than ever before. And all it took was a little rain. I opened the doors, smiling slightly at the receptionist as I walked by. She pointed at a small rack near the door where the other earth ponies had left their raincoats. I wondered if she thought it was weird that I had walked here, but nothing in her face gave that away. I walked passed her and into the hallway beyond. I stopped when I saw somepony leaning against the wall. “Hey, newbie!” Silver said as I walked towards him. I nodded slightly, walking passed him and into the locker room. “How are you liking her?” I knew who he was talking about, and I really didn’t know how to respond. “She is a lot like my sister.” I said quietly. “It hasn’t been that bad.” “That might change today.” Silver said, wrapping his fore-leg around my shoulders. “She really hates it when it thunders.” “I don’t think it is anything I can’t handle.” I said, pulling myself out of his grasp and putting my white uniform on. As I did, my journal fell out of the pocket and landed on the floor. Before I could pick it up, Silver reached for it. “What is this?” he asked, holding it up in the air. I snatched it out of his grasp and shoved it in the locker. Silver just stared at me. “It’s nothing.” I said, not looking at him. “Just a journal.” I shut the locker and walked out of the room, leaving a very confused looking Silverhoof behind me. I pulled the key to the elevator out of my pocket and shoved it into the lock. The doors opened, and I jumped in, pressing the button for the top floor. I could already tell today was not going to be a good day. The doors opened onto the hallway again. The rain was much louder up here, almost like it was inside the room. I trotted over to the chair, pushing the magazines out of the way and collapsing. I knew I shouldn’t have been so rude with my journal, but I have always been like that. Very secretive about my possessions and my feelings. That is part of the reason I am so shy around new ponies. Also, I really didn’t want Silver to know about Rain. I wanted to keep that to myself most of all. I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost didn’t hear the soft moans and whimpers coming from Pearl’s cell. When I finally heard them, I walked over quietly, trying not to startle her. I pulled the metal hatch back, not sure what I was expecting to see. But I certainly wasn’t expecting what I saw. Pearl was curled up into a ball, hiding as far as she could get herself into the corner of the room, with the blanket from her bed draped over her head. Even from where I was standing, I could see her shaking. As I watched, a boom of thunder rang out, and a scream left her throat, shrill and high. She pulled herself even tighter into a ball, which I thought had been impossible. I felt pity and sadness rise in me. How could Silver had known she would be like this!? I unlocked the door and opened it slowly. I never noticed how much the hinges creaked until right then. I saw her stop shaking immediately, and her head turned under the blanket to face my direction. I didn’t know what to do, what to say. “Umm...Hi Pearl.” I started, taking a couple steps forward. “It’s just me. I’m not going to hurt you.” She moved slightly, but I couldn’t tell what she was doing. I was only a couple steps away now. “I am just going to--OUCH!!” As soon as I was within reach, she had lashed out with her back leg, landing a solid hit to my chest. I felt my breath leave me, and I fell to my knees. I wheezed in a few breaths, trying to get the air back. I looked up, blinking away tears, but she hadn’t moved. She was back in her ball. The only part I could see of her was her leg where her hock had caught the blanket. When I felt I could breathe normally again, I stood up, rather shakily. “Pearl, please. It’s just me.” I said, taking another step forward. “I want to help you.” She didn’t give any sign she heard me, but she didn’t try to strike me again, so I took the final step towards her. Slowly, I sank to the floor next to her, so close I could feel her shaking. I just sat there for a few moments, watching the small mare tremble. Another boom of thunder rocked the hospital, and another shriek left her lungs. She struck out again with her hoof, but I quickly dodged it. Finally, she settled again, and I decided to make my move. Reaching towards her, I pulled the sheet away from her head. Her bright pink mane slowly came into view, but I saw that her eyes were closed tightly. I gingerly placed my hoof under her chin, turning her head towards me. “Pearl, it’s me.” I said, stroking her mane slightly. “I won’t hurt you. I promise.” I saw her eyelids flutter, and a second later, I was greeted with those stunning blue irises. She smiled when she saw me, and she scooted close, almost burying herself in my side. She was still shaking, but she didn’t seem deathly afraid now. It was almost like having a small animal, or a very young foal to look after. I felt my heart go out to her. She looked up at me and blinked a couple times, then turned and looked at the open door. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but I hoped she wasn’t thinking of running away. I gently ran my hoof up and down her mane, like how you would to a pet. At the same time I gingerly stroked her cheek, smiling down as I saw her eyes begin to close. They were almost completely close when another boom of thunder broke out. Her eyes flashed wide open and filled with panic. I felt her body tense up, and I almost thought she was going to strike me again. But the panic slowly faded until she was back to normal. She looked down at my chest, like she was just realizing it was me she had kicked. She slowly reached forward with her hoof, touching the spot. There was a knot there, and it was throbbing a little. She looked up at me, her eyes scared, but I shook my head. “It’s fine Pearl.” I said soothingly. “It’s not your fault.” She blinked and looked back at the door. I probably should have stopped talking there, but of course, I didn’t. “Things like that happen. Stuff always happens, Rain.” It took me a moment to realize what I had just said. And as soon as I did, I felt a wave of depression wash over me. Had I really just said that? Yes, yes I had. I looked down at Pearl, who hadn’t noticed that I just called her my dead sister’s name. She was still staring at the open door. But she reached behind her and took my hoof in hers. I hadn’t realized it, but I had stopped stroking her cheek. I started back up again, and within a few moments, her eyes were slowly fluttering back closed. And a few minutes after that, she was asleep. I couldn’t stop staring at her. I had never met anypony who gave me complete trust like this before. She just lay there, her head in my lap. Every now and then, her eyelids would flutter, or a small smile would cross her lips and then be gone. I wondered what she was dreaming about, because it looked like it made her happy. ***** I don’t know how long I sat there, but I knew it had to be hours. Her small smiles and twitches slowly faded away, until, finally, she opened her eyes and looked up at me. “Hey, Pearl.” I said quietly. “Sleep well?” She just stared up at me, like she was trying to figure something out. But, after a small moment, the smile returned to her lips, and she reached out to me. She wrapped her arm around my neck. I was taken aback by the sudden show of affection, but after a moment, I embraced her back. I felt that familiar shiver run up and down her form, and for the first time, I felt her heart race. It was incredible, how just a small gesture can make her so happy. Finally, she broke the hug, and slowly stood up. I hadn’t realized it, but the rain had slowed, and I could barely hear it now. Pearl was still staring at the open doorway, but she made no attempt to move. Instead, she turned her head towards me, blinking several times. Her eyes were trying to convey something she couldn’t, and I thought I knew what it was. She walked over and sat down on the edge of her bed again, starting to stare at the opposite wall as I had seen her do so many times before. But this time, I had to interrupt her. I walked over and sat down in front of her, blocking her view of the wall. She turned her gaze to me instead. “Pearl, sweetie.” I whispered. “Is there something you want?” She blinked one time, and her eyes lit up slightly. “Pearl, when was the last time you went outside?” She cocked her head, looking slightly to the left. A look of sadness washed over her face and into her eyes, and she shook her head at me. “You can’t remember?” She blinked, looking down at the ground. “Would you like to go outside?”
Chapter 3~Behind Blue Eyes~ Chapter 3 I walked out of the hospital that day, my heart and my hooves heavy. I walked along the gravel road that led back to town, the small rocks popping and crunching under my hooves. Rain dripped from the trees overhead, occasionally splattering against my raincoat. The sky above was a sea of clouds, with points of blue scattered throughout. It looked like a tattered cloth, floating in an ocean. Birds chirped and flew overhead, and small squirrels and rabbits ran through the underbrush. It was such a lovely way to end that day. So why did I feel so down? The trees cleared, and I walked into the small park that bordered the forest. Small foals ran back and forth, swinging on the swings, playing on the fake mountain. I stayed near the outskirts, watching the foals play. Their coats were soaked from the water left over from the storm, and they were visibly shivering. But they didn’t seem to mind. Looking a little further away, I could see a couple mares, probably their mothers, standing and talking. One, a unicorn, held an umbrella next to her, waiting to see if it would rain again. I decided to sit down on the bench a few yards away from the park. A small smile crept onto my lips as I watched them play. I could remember when Rain and I used to do that, at this very park. Her, being three years younger than me, would barely leave my side. She would swing on the swing right next to me, slide down the slide right after I did. But slowly, over the months and years, she opened up, began playing with the other foals. Normally, she would be fine, and nothing bad would happen. But every so often, she would go into one of her fits. She would begin to yell at no one. She would get aggravated, sometime even violent. Because of this, every time we would show up, the park would empty automatically. I felt tears rise in my eyes, and I blinked them away. She didn’t deserve anything that had happened to her. She had been such a sweet and loving pony. She never harmed anyone while she was in right mind, and she always apologized after she came back. And now, she was gone forever. I watched the two mares call their foals to them. The foals, dripping wet, ran off towards them, laughing and playing still. They started to walk out of the park, so I decided to leave as well. I followed the stone path out of the park which eventually led to the main street. I slowly walked up the street, puddles splashing water onto my legs as I walked. From up above, Lunar called a “Hello”. I waved back, trying my best smile. But I guess he was too far away to notice how fake it was, because he just kept flying. Shame, I would have liked to have talked to him. I kept walking. The streets were almost deserted, most of the ponies were inside where it was warm. That was good for me. I had never liked being around a lot of ponies, and especially with how I was feeling, I liked it even less. Finally, my house came into view. I pulled the key out of my pocket and opened the door. Everything was how I had left it, and my closet door was still open. I hung my raincoat inside to dry, then headed into the living room. I pulled a small box off the mantle and struck a match. I threw it into the fireplace. Instantly the magical logs caught fire, filling the room with warmth and light. I collapsed into a chair, looking into the fire. I felt almost ready to pass out, but I had something else to do first. I reached into the pocket of my uniform, pulling out the journal. The small pencil was still inside the small rings, and I pulled that out as well. I opened it up and began to write. ***** Journal Day 4 I...I don’t even know what to think anymore. Rain, I am still dreaming on her. I don’t know why, after all these years. I wouldn’t mind dreaming of her, if it wasn’t.....that time. Everything that is going on in my life, that is that last thing that I want to see. I am starting to think taking this job was a mistake. Now Pearl. Pearl...she is something else altogether. She is intelligent, she is beautiful, she is so, so trusting. I have never met a pony who would give you her complete trust like that. Well, there was one. And she seems to only want one thing in this world. And it is the most unselfish want I have ever heard. She wants to go outside. I don’t know for how long, or when, but she wants to. And I don’t know how, but I am going to give her that. I don’t care if I get caught. I don’t care anymore. She needs this. She needs this more than anything. Sometime in the next couple days, I am going to do this. ***** I put the journal down, staring at the words I wrote in my chicken scratch writing. What I had written was no lie. I was going to get her out of there. I turned back to fire, watching the logs slowly turn from red, to orange, to finally a white-red tint. They never burned down though. You just had to blow on them, and they would go out, ready for use the next time. They had been expensive, but well worth the price. I could feel my eyes growing heavy, so I turned in the chair, trying to find a comfortable spot. I found myself looking at a picture of Rain and I at a fair when I was about twelve. Her eyes sparkled with delight, but mine were closed because I was laughing about something. Maybe a joke Rain had told a few minutes before, I couldn’t remember. I found the small patch of her mane that was shorter than the rest. A colt at school had put gum in her hair and called her names. She had run home crying that day, and I tried my best to comfort her. But she was very upset. In the end, we had to cut it out of her hair. She was very subdued for a long time afterwards. The fair had been the first time she smiled in a long time. I tried to remember those days, when she was at her happiest. Hopefully, this time, I would dream of those times. ***** Her friends were around her, lying in the grass next to her. A fleeting moment of panic washed over her as she tried to remember how she got there. But as she felt her friends laying there next to her, the fear faded. She relaxed, tension washing away just like water in the river. The sun above them shined down, but a small breeze kept them cool. A light scent of spring flowers wafted through the air. She felt as if she could just lay there forever, as if nothing mattered to her anymore. She closed her eyes, just for a moment, trying to remember why she had felt that feeling of dread. Minutes, hours, seconds later, she wasn’t sure, she heard hoofsteps in the grass near her. She opened one eye, shielding the glare of the sun from her face. Above her, a familiar purple face waited for her, blazing yellow eyes smiling at her. With a squeal of delight, she jumped up, embracing her friend. He hugged her back, pulling her into a close embrace. Shivers rolled up and down her body at the feeling of the touch. She turned, smiling, to the others. But the smile slipped off her face when she saw they were nowhere to be found. She spun in circles a few times, trying to find them, but she couldn’t. A wave of sadness washed over her. She turned back to her friend, who reached out a hoof to her. She took it in her own, a small smile returning to her lips. A gentle tug was all she needed, and together they walked towards the river. The grass tickled her legs as they walked, and the flowers left a trail of petals in their wake. The water was so clear, that from a distance, it looked like a piece of the sky had landed on earth. For the first time, she saw small animals scurrying around by the river. Squirrels and rabbits chased each other through the flowers and grass. Butterflies floated above the water and hopped from flower to flower. She laughed as they got closer, watching the animals frolic and play. They moved out of their way as the two of them approached the river. They almost seemed to stop and watch them. A single hoof was all she touched to the water, but still she shivered as the experience of the tepid, but still cold, water lapped against her. He smiled at her, letting her take the lead, directing them where she wanted to go. Smiling, she pulled them into the river. She sucked in a breath as the water rose above their withers, just barely touching her chin. She let go of his hoof, floating in the water. Her hooves just barely touched the bottom, but she didn’t mind. The feeling was just too incredible. He swam over to her, taking her hoof back in his own. She pointed down the river, towards the edge of the vast clearing. There were trees there. She liked trees. He blinked once, smiling. Together, they swam down the river. The only sound was their breathing, and the splash of the water. Above them, the clouds slowly rolled across the sky, reflecting themselves on the water in front of them. The soft breeze chilled their fur and skin whenever they broke the water. Their tails floated in the water behind them, looking more like flippers than hair. Every slight movement brought on another shiver as the water warmed her and cooled her at the same time. but not her hoof, clasped tightly in his. That hoof was blazing warm, the perfect temperature against the water. Their eyes met again, and she felt herself blush. she turned away, but she felt his other hoof on her cheek. He turned her head, her eyes meeting his. He stroked her cheek a few times, and she wondered why the feeling was so familiar, and so calming. she swam forward and embraced him again. She felt the warmth of his body against hers, staving off the cold of the water. She sunk into his fur, tightening her embrace. He hugged her back, stroking her mane as he did so. Finally, after a long while, she wasn’t quite sure, he broke away. But he kept his forehead pressed against hers, looking into her eyes. He gave her a small, hollow smile, and motioned for her to close her eyes. She did as she was told, waiting for him to do something. But nothing happened. Suddenly, there was no cold, no feeling of water on her skin. Frightened, she opened her eyes, seeing nothing but white again. ***** When I woke up, I realized where I had fallen asleep. Climbing out of the chair, I smiled and laughed at myself. It had been many years since I had fallen asleep there, looking into the fire. I was a young colt the last time it happened. I rubbed my eyes awake, walking into the kitchen, but I stopped almost immediately. I had forgotten something. Turning, i walked back into the living room, blew out the fire that was still blazing in the fireplace, and picked up my journal. Then I turned and walked back to the kitchen. On my way to the hallway I passed the window over the sink, and I had to do a double take on it. There was still a moon falling in the sky. I quickly looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:42. I let out a groan, mentally slapping myself. If there was one thing I wasn’t, it was a morning person. I was tempted to go back to the chair, or up to my bed and fall asleep, but I decided not to. Instead, I went upstairs to my tiny bathroom and turned on the water. I didn’t know why, but that hospital always made me feel dirty. But I had a feeling the water wouldn’t be able to clean the feeling away. And I was right. I walked back downstairs, toweling my mane dry. I pulled a muffin off the tray and sat down in the living room again, munching slowly. A stray thought wandered through my head as I looked at the pictures. Pearl, I wondered what she was doing right then. I hoped she was asleep. The poor mare looked like she never got any sleep, with those huge circles under her eyes. One thought led to another, and I found myself thinking about her past. Where had she come from? Who were her parents? What, exactly, was she in there for? I figured I would have to ask somepony about that. But then, another thought ran through my mind. I was almost four in the morning. Nopony would be there. And I had an ID card that would let me get in there. I stood up, shoving the rest of my muffin into my mouth, and grabbing my uniform. I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, but so what? If I was going to take Pearl out of the hospital, even for a night, I would probably get fired anyway. I thought this as I trotted to the door. The worst they could do is fire me. ***** Tears streamed down her cheeks as soft, whimpering moans escaped her throat. She curled herself into a ball, burying her face in her hooves, and curling her tail around herself. the teams seemed unable to stop, and they just kept coming. The cloth on her hoof was already soaked, as was the bed sheet underneath her. Her cries echoed off the walls, making her cry even harder. She sounded broken, even to her own ears. She wanted to go back. More than anything she had ever wanted, she wanted to go back. She had clawed at the walls, trying to find her way back, but all she found was white. finally, she had just collapsed on her bed. She laid there, her sorrow and pain spilling out. She didn’t know why she had left there, or how she left. She just wanted to go back. She tried to picture the place in her mind. The river, the flowers, the pony. But it was slowly fading away. Just like her memory, her pain too was fading. Slowly, the tears stopped falling, and the whimpers stopped as well. She pulled her head up, looking around the room. Her hoof rose up to her face, wiping away a tear. She looking down at it, cocking her head. Why had she been crying? Why had she been sad? She couldn’t remember. She stood up on trembling legs, looking around the room. Her efforts to escape this world, the efforts she couldn’t remember, where scattered around the edges of the wall. Gouges in the padding, strips of cloth ripped off the wall. She turned and walked around the walls, training a hoof on the padding. She was no longer sad. She was just curious. Why had she been crying? ***** I faced the gates to the hospital. The moon was shining down, casting a soft blue glow over the treetops and the grass. There were no lights on in the hospital, but the small red light on the gate was blinking. I walked forward, my ID held in my jaw. I swiped it across the scanner, and the gate slowly slid open. I rushed through, almost galloping up the walkway. I reached the doors in no time and pulled them open. I let out a sigh of relief that they were not locked. I would have hated to have come all this way just to turn around. I was met with the familiar blast of air conditioning as I opened the doors. I quickly walked through and shut them behind me. I couldn’t get her out today, I would need an entire night to get her out, let her play, and bring her back. But there was still something I could do while I was alone here. Something Pearl couldn’t tell me, but something I still wanted to know. I walked passed the receptionist's desk, and through the glass doors. I walked down the hall and turned down the second hallway, just like on my first day here. The Wardens’ office was straight ahead, wooden door shining in the dim light. I reached it and turned the handle, but sighed when I found it was locked. But a sudden thought struck me, and I pulled out my ID. I had seen this in movies countless times, but did it actually work? I guess it was time to find out. I slid the card into the small crack between the door and the wall. I moved it up until I found the deadbolt, then I gently pressed against it. After a few tries, almost dropping the ID onto the other side of the door on one try, I heard a metallic click, and the door opened a fraction. I took a shuddering breath, stepping into the office. It looked the same as when I had first been in there. The pictures of the Warden and his family were still hanging behind the desk. but I didn’t have time for those. I wanted to look at what was under the pictures. A row of metal filing cabinets stood there, looking like they wanted to be opened. i walked forward, pointing myself at the one labeled “Profiles”. I opened the drawer containing the P names, and rifled through them quickly. Finally, I found the one marked “Pearl”. I pulled it out, carefully marking it’s spot among the other files, and placed it on the desk. On the cover was her name again, with a photo of her paper-clipped to the front. She looked so young. She couldn’t have been more than a filly when it was taken. Her youth disturbed me. Somepony that young shouldn’t be here. I opened the file, revealing several pages with graphs and numbers on them. I shoved those aside, picking up the page titled “History”. My heart was racing, and a small voice in the back of my mind told me I shouldn’t be doing this, but I kept going, quickly reading over the words on the paper. By the time I was finished, I had sat on the floor, unable to stand. What I had read made me sick. My heart had ended up somewhere in my stomach, and it was a shriveled lump of what it used to be. I don’t think I had ever felt so sorry for somepony as I did right them. Swallowing back the cry that was threatening to release itself, I put the file back into it’s place, and closed the drawer. I walked out of the office, waiting until the door was closed and lock again before taking off running. My hooves clacked against the floor, but I didn’t care. I just wanted out of that place. I just wanted out. The cool night air was like needles on my face as I ran outside, barely stopping for the gate to open before I started running again. Pearl, I thought. I am so sorry. ***** Journal Day 5 (Morning) Dear Celestia, how can anypony take something like that? Pearl, no wonder she is so screwed up... Her mother was addicted to hayseed, and even took it while she was pregnant with Pearl. She then died during birth, leaving Pearl with her father. But he couldn’t take care of a foal who had been damaged by her mother, so her left her at an orphanage. But that’s not all. When she was five or so, the file didn’t specify, she fell out of her window on the second story of the orphanage and suffered a head injury. She lost her memory, and, so it seemed, her ability to speak. After that, she spent most of her time inside her room, not seeing anyone. After several months like this, she was handed over to the hospital here, and she has been there ever since. She had been stuck inside that room for years. I just....I can’t believe this. It’s disgusting. P.S If she had been alive today, Rain and Pearl would be the same age. They had the same birthday. ****** When I walked back into the hospital that morning, I tried to pretend nothing happened, which was extremely hard for me. If you ever saw me try it play cool, you would laugh your flank off. I stuttered a hello at the receptionist, then proceeded to walk straight into the glass doors. We both laughed, me blushing furiously. I pulled open the doors and walked inside, slowing down when I saw Silver standing on the other side. “Hey, how’d it go yesterday? With Pearl?” he asked, following in my stride. I shook my head and shrugged. “She was very afraid, so I tried to comfort her. She kicked me in the chest, pretty hard actually.” Silver smiled, like this thought amused him. “Yeah, she will do that. You have to watch those back legs.” he said, breaking off when we passed the locker room. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.” I said over my shoulder, continuing towards the elevator. I pulled the key out of my pocket, my journal falling to the floor again. I quickly picked it back up and shoved it back into my pocket. I stole a glance at Silver, who was eyeing me suspiciously. I just pressed the button for the elevator and walked in. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that me dropping the journal was going to come back and bite me in the flank. The doors opened onto the hallway, and I stepped out. It always struck me how quiet it was up here. Almost silent except for my hooves on the floor. I dropped my coat uniform on the chair with the magazines and walked over to the door. I didn’t hear her on the other side, not that I normally do. I pulled the hatch aside, seeing the beautiful blue of her eyes once again. As soon as I saw her, the pain of what I read rushed back. This poor pony. She couldn’t even remember why she was so screwed up. “H-hello Pearl.” I said, my words shaking. She cocked her head at me a few times, but then turned away from the door like she usually does. It was then that I got a good look inside her cell. Gouges and scraped in the padding ran across the walls. The cotton padding itself littered the floor, making small piles here and there. Pearl just walked through it, not even touching any of it, and sat down on the edge of her bed like she always did. I unbolted the door and walked in, looking around in fear and curiosity. “What...what did you do?” I felt myself ask, already knowing she wouldn’t be able to respond. And I was right. She just cocked her head and blinked. Slowly, a thought dawned on me. “You don’t know, or you don’t remember?” At the last option, she perked up, blinking once or twice. I nodded, starting to shove the padding into piles out of her way. How could she not remember, I thought to myself. Is her mind damaged that much that she just...forgets? I pushed that thought out of my head. I really didn’t want that to know the answer. When the padding was cleared, I stood back up and turned to her. She was watching me with those blue eyes. But there was something in them I had never seen before. A sparkle when she looked at me. An emotion I couldn’t quite place. I started walking towards the open doorway, feeling her eyes on my back the whole time. I thought back to the painting on the wall, the one she had painted with her own food. The landscape. I thought about the padding. It looked like she had been trying to claw her way out of the cell. The way she looked at me. Like I was the single good thing in her life, which I probably was. I made the decision right then. I turned and walked back to her, sitting down on the edge of the bad with her. She watched me the whole time, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable. It seemed natural. I didn’t know how to say this to a pony who could obviously understand, but couldn’t respond. I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “Pearl, I am going to take you outside tonight.” The reaction was immediate. Her ears perked up, and a huge smile crossed her lips. She threw her forelegs around me, pulling me into a bear hug. I hugged her back, feeling the shivers run up and down her body. But I didn’t think all of them were from the contact. I think a few were from happiness. She broke away and looked at the door, then back to me. She did this a few times. “No, not right now, sweetie.” I said, watching the emotion fade from her face. “But, later on tonight, when everypony leaves.” A slight smile appeared on her lips, and her head fell onto my shoulder. I stroked her mane, watching her eyes close at my touch. I began to wonder how anypony could have shoved her into a place like this. She seemed so much like a filly. But at the same time, she was probably one of the strongest mares I knew for surviving this place with a personality intact. Well, one of the strongest mares who was still alive. I looked down at her hoof, noticing that the handkerchief I had put there for her wrist was still tied around it. It was probably healed by now, so she didn’t need it. I reached down and pulled gently on the end on the knot. Instantly, her hoof flashed away and she pulled her head off my shoulder. A looked of stunned surprise crossed my face. “Do you want me to leave it?” I asked. She nodded, tucking the hoof in close to her body. It slowly dawned on my that was probably the first thing that wasn’t water or food that somepony had given her in a long time. “Alright, I will leave it. I’m sorry.” She gently laid her head back on my shoulder, but kept her hoof in close to her body. Her eyes closed again as I stroked her mane. I felt her body start to go limp as she fell asleep. Slowly, so I wouldn’t wake her, I adjusted myself so she was laying on her back with her head in my lap. Her chest slowly rose and fell as she slept, and every now and then, a small smile would cross her lips. She was just so beautiful. I gently bent down, placing my lips on her forehead. I just wanted to leave a small kiss, but as soon as I touched her fur, her eyes flashed open. I froze in place, waiting for her to move. And finally she did, but it was not the action I had been expecting. She sat up slowly, keeping her head turned towards me the whole time. she adjusted herself so that she was facing me, a strange expression on her face. A hollow feeling ran through me. Had I just lost her trust? I was about to turn away when I felt her hoof on the side of my face. I turned back to her, almost gasping when I saw how close she was. I could see nothing but her blue eyes. They blinked once, and then she leaned forwards. I felt her lips on my own for the first time. Startled by this, I pulled back a bit, but she just leaned forward more. I felt her forelegs wrap around my back, pulling me in tighter. As the shock passed, I felt myself being pulled towards her. I wrapped my own forelegs around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. I could feel her heartbeat against my own, both of ours fluttering erratically. I turned my head slightly, kissing her deeper. She responded the same. A vague thought in the back of my head wondered what this would look this if somepony were to walk in right now. But as I felt her heart beat with my own, I realized I didn’t care. Instead, I just sank deeper into the kiss. Finally, we broke apart. Her forelegs were still wrapped around me, so I just pressed her forehead against hers, looking into her eyes. The look in her eyes told me she desperately wanted to tell me something, and I think I knew what it was. “I know.” I whispered quietly. “I love you too.” A flare of excitement passed through her eyes and she pulled me closer. She laid her head on my shoulder, and I pressed my head into her mane. “T-th-thank...y-you.” I heard a voice whisper. It was small, quiet. Almost like a young pony’s. I took me a long moment to realize who had said it. I pulled back a bit, but kept my hooves around her. “Was...was that you?” She nodded vigorously. She opened her mouth, looking like this simple task was the hardest thing she had ever done. “T-thank..you.” she said again, louder and more coherently this time. All I could do was smile and pull her into another kiss. She seemed calmer this time, more relaxed, but her heartbeat told a different story, as did mine. I could taste salt on her lips, like she had been crying. A small part of my mind wondered what she had been crying about. But it was overpowered by what was happening. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, our lips pressed together. But finally, we broke apart again. She took her hooves out from behind my back, but she didn’t go away. Instead, she simply laid back in her old position, her head in my lap. I bent down and placed a single kiss on her forehead, exactly like I had wanted to do earlier. But this time she just closed her eyes, letting me do it. “Pearl.” I said quietly. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. “Are you ready to go outside?” It was a long moment before she did anything. I could see her eyes flashing back and forth, and I knew she was trying to speak. Finally, she stopped and looked back up at me. “Yes.”
Chapter 4~Behind Blue Eyes~ Chapter 4 The time I spent waiting in her room seemed to tick on forever. It was still the morning, early morning. We had to wait until the hospital was entirely empty, so that we could sneak out without being seen. Sometime throughout the waiting, I began pacing. Back and forth between the wall and her bed. Back and forth, back and forth. I was almost sure there was going to be a groove in the floor after I was done. After about ten minutes of me pacing, Pearl, who had been watching me this whole time, got up and started pacing along side me. She looked up at me as she walked next to me, her eyes seeming to ask, “Am I doing this right?”. I smiled down at her, gently stroking her mane and back. I watched the visible shiver run down her spine, and I knew I would never get tired of seeing that. But the time waiting also seemed to pass in no time at all. After pacing for who knows how long, I sat back down on the bed. Pearl followed me over, sitting as close as she possibly could. I put my foreleg over her shoulders, and she placed her head on my shoulder. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her eyes start to close. Every time they would shut, she would jerk them back open again, like a foal trying to stay awake on Hearth’s Warming Eve. But finally, I saw them shut, and she didn’t open them again. I watched her for a few minutes, smiling every time she smiled. Finally, I thought she was far enough asleep, and I took my arm from around her. Gently, I laid her down on the bed, making sure she was comfortable. Then I grabbed the blankets off the floor and covered her with them, checking to make sure she was completely covered. I smiled down at her, remembering how many time I had done the exact thing to Rain. But I had never felt this way about Rain. No, this was something new. And I liked how it made me feel. I made me feel warm and cold at the same time. Happy and terrified. I wondered if this was how she felt about me. I quietly walked back to the doorway, the padding on the ground muffling my hooffalls. I was about the grab the door and shut it behind me. But, after a moments thought, I left it open. She didn’t need to be trapped anymore. If she wanted to walk free, she could. I trotted over to the chair and sat down. My journal was pressing against my side, so I pulled it out of my pocket. I pulled the pencil out of the small rubber band and opened it up to the correct page. Journal Day 5 I...I love her. There is no debate about this. I love her. And she loves me back. I don’t know, if I had been replaced with somepony else, that she would have loved him, or if she saw something special in me. I don’t know, and I don’t care. All that matters is she found me, and I found her. Something we both needed. I’m getting her out of her, today. Tonight. And I think I know where I will be taking her. But that isn’t the problem. The problem is the fact that she won’t want to leave when this is over. She won’t want to back into her room. If that happens, I don’t know what I will have to do. I don’t want to break her heart. We will see what happens when we come to that. I put the journal down on the magazines, suddenly realizing how tired I was. I hadn’t slept much the last night, and it was catching up to me. I moved the pile of magazines in front of the chair and put my back legs up. I looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes. I was asleep before I even knew it. My last thought was of Pearl, and how she would react. ***** She opened her eyes again, looking up at the white ceiling. For the first time in years, she could instantly remember where she was. And as soon as she remembered, panic flowed through her. Where was he? How could he have just left her? She threw the sheets of herself and jumped out of the bed. She looked around the room, seeing the door left open. Something was drawing her towards it. She took a few steps towards the open doorway, but she paused when she was just a few steps away. She couldn’t even remember what the world beyond looked like. All she could remember was the white, and whatever she dreamed of. But dread started to flow through her. What if that was all her dreams were; Dreams? Just figments of her imagination, and the world didn’t even look like that? She shook her head, trying to stop thinking that thought. Now wasn’t the time to doubt herself. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever waited past the door. Her hoof touched the bare concrete for the first time, and she pulled it up almost immediately. She shook her head, she didn’t like it. It wasn’t soft like her room was. It was hard, much too hard. But she had to do it, so she took a deep breath and placed the hoof back down. Slowly, she moved all four hooves out onto the concrete, and looked around her new world for the first time. Her eyes were wide as plates as she looked around the small hallway. But, even as the feeling of wonder shot through her, so did that feeling of dread. The world disturbed her, more so than the constant white. The few colors there were, colors she didn’t know the names of, seemed washed out compared to her dreams. The hallways seemed bleak, uninviting. For a brief moment, she wanted to go back into the room, where at least she could be with the familiar. But she knew she couldn’t. She had to continue. So, slowly, she stepped further down the hallway, heading towards the two doors at the end. A sharp sound made her gasp, jumping back a few steps. It took her a few moments to realize what it was. That pony was sitting there, fast asleep. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her as she saw him, and she quickly trotted over. As she did, her eyes landed on the pile of magazines his legs were propped up on. An explosion of color filled her eyes as she looked at them. Colors she had only ever seen in her dreams. Pictures of landscapes like she had painted that one time. A smile spread onto her lips as she looked. So there was color in this world. She was glad he was laying down next to the magazines, because she didn’t know what she wanted to be closer too. She curled up under his legs, one hoof touching the paper of the magazines. Her eyes closed almost instantly. But this time, she didn’t dream. ***** When I finally woke, a couple hours later, I realized how much of a mistake that was. Pearl could have just taken my keys and got out. A moment of panic flashed through me, but it faded just as fast as it had come. She wouldn’t do that. I knew she wouldn’t. Stretching and yawning, I took my hooves off the magazines and placed them on the floor. Something warm, soft, and furry rubbed up against my lower thigh. Startled, I looked down to see what it was. I almost laughed when I saw it. A white and pink blob was laying right under where my legs had been. I smiled down at it, reaching and stroking behind the one ear that was standing up. The other was tucked in next to her head. She raised her head and looked up at me, those blue eyes taking me in. I bent down and kissed her lips, feeling her respond to my touch. After a couple second we broke apart. I looked up at the clock, and a thrill of excitement ran through me. It was almost time to quit. I looked down at Pearl, who seemed to know the same thing. I bent down so I could be on the same level as her. “OK, Pearl. I have to make it look like I am leaving, so nopony thinks I did anything.” I said, looking into her eyes. “I am just going to drop off my uniform and journal, then I am coming right back. Understand?” Instead of blinking or nodding, she leaned forward and planted a kiss on my lips. After a couple seconds, she backed away, grinning broadly. “I’ll take that as a yes.” I said, standing up. I grabbed my journal and headed towards the elevator. The last thing I saw before the doors closed were her wide, blue eyes staring at me. I don’t know what was running through her mind, but I just hoped she wasn’t thinking I was leaving her. The doors opened on the ground floor, and I trotted out, trying to act like I wasn’t planning anything. It’s good that there was nopony around, or they would have seen right through my act. I walked down the hallway, my hooves clicking on the tiles. One thought was running through my mind. Please don’t let him be here. Please don’t let- “Hey Newbie!” -Silver be here, I finished. Taking a deep breath, I turned around. Silver was walking out of one of the doors in the hallway. He trotted to catch up with me, walking alongside. “How’s it going with ya?” he asked, not looking at me. “You doing alright here?” I really wasn’t sure how to respond. “Alright, I guess.” I said. “It’s not agreeing with me quite yet, but I am sure it will in a week or two.” “That’s the spirit!” he said, clapping me on the back. “It took me a good month before I was comfortable here. Just give it time.” I nodded, hoping he would go away, but he stayed with me. We reached the locker room, and I pushed the door open, heading straight for my locker. Silver followed me in, trotting over to his. I couldn’t tell what he was so happy about. “Got any plans for this weekend?” he asked, taking off his uniform and hanging it in the locker. I hadn’t realized it, but today was Thursday. I shook my head, but then remembered he wasn’t looking at me. “No, not really.” I said, taking my uniform off as well. “Just relaxing at home.” I pulled my journal out of the pocket and placed it on the shelf in the locker. I turned around and found him looking at me, eyeing the journal. But he just shook his head and smiled again. “I haven’t had a weekend like that in a while. I might take next week off and go to Los Pegasus. Hit the beaches.” I nodded in agreement. “That’s a good idea.” I said. “I might have to do that sometime.” But I wasn’t thinking for me. I was thinking of taking Pearl to the beach one day. She would probably enjoy it. Silver nodded, trotting towards the door. “You should. Last time I did it I had a blast. Anyway, see you tomorrow.” he said, walking out the door. “Bye.” I called weakly. I hung my uniform on the hook in my locker, then grabbed the keys out of the pocket. I knew if I went back up to the room, I wouldn’t be able to leave for another hour or so. But I didn’t care. I had to do it. I trotted out of the locker room, looking both ways before I galloped back to the elevator. I quickly shoved the key into the lock and open the doors. The doors opened and I hopped it, mashing the button for the top floor. The last thing I needed was for anypony to see me heading back up after I was supposed to leave. The doors reopened on the small hallway. At first I didn’t see her, but then I looked back over to where the chairs and magazines were, and I saw her. I wanted to call to her, but then I saw what she was doing, and I decided to just wait and watch. She was sitting down on the floor, hunched over the magazines. All around her she had spread them out, opening the pages, and in a few cases, ripping the pages out. As I looked over them, I noticed all of them were of landscapes and nature. She was arranging them in such a way that, even though some of them were a year apart, they fit together perfectly. As I watched, she ripped another picture out of the magazine she was hoofing through. She placed it next to her, adjusting it until she thought it was perfect. I stood a little straighter, trying to look over her shoulder without alerting her. I smiled as when I saw what she was making with all the photos. It was another landscape, just like the one she had painted in her room. Quietly, I walked out of the elevator, trotting over to her. I tried to muffle my hoofsteps, but the tile on the floor had other ideas. One of her ears perked up, and she turned around. A broad smile spread onto her lips, and she rushed over to me. I was prepared for just a hug, but not to be tackled to the floor. I felt her lips on my own for just a moment before she let me up. “What, you didn’t think I was coming back.” She shook her head. I knelt down in front of her, looking into those eyes I had fallen in love with. “I will always come back for you. Always. Now, are you ready to go?” ***** By the time I was sure there was nopony left in the building, the sun was already setting. But that’s fine. It would mean the park would be empty. I pressed my key into the lock on the elevator and held the doors open once they had opened. I motioned for Pearl to go in with my free hoof. She just looked back and forth from me to the elevator. I could see she didn’t want to go in. “Don’t worry, this isn’t the outside. But it will get us there.” I reassured her. She took a deep breath and walked forward into the elevator. I let go of the doors and walked in with her, hitting the button for ground floor. The elevator shuddered a bit as it started dropping, and Pearl grabbed a hold of my side, her eyes wide. “It’s fine, Pearl. It’s supposed to do that.” I said. But I was glad the ride was so short, I didn’t like the fear in her eyes. As soon as the doors opened, she rushed out, but then stopped immediately. A look of wonder and surprise appeared on her face as she looked around the new surroundings. She turned towards the wall, cocking her head as she looked at the windows. I stayed back, wanting to see what she was going to do. She slowly walked over to the windows. Through them, I could see the setting sun and, forest, which looked as if it had been dipped in ink because of the setting sun. She was about a foot from the windows when she stopped, an expression of confusion on her face. She took a couple steps back, then walked forward again. But she still stopped about a foot from the window. She cocked her head slightly, taking a step to the left, then a step to the right. I just watched her, wondering what she was doing. Finally, she reached a hoof up and placed it on the window. As soon as she did, she pulled it back. But she placed it back a few seconds later. My curiosity got the better of me, and I trotted over to her. I almost laughed when I saw what had been disturbing her so. With a smile, I stood next to her, casting my own reflection on the window next to Pearl’s. “That’s you, honey.” I said, pointing at the white and pink pony in the window. “That’s what you look like.” I watched as my sentence sunk in. She slowly lifted the hoof off the window, holding it in the air in front of her. The pony in the window did the same. She lifted her hoof to her mane, gently stroking it in the back. The pony in the window did the same. Slowly, it dawned on her, and a large smile appeared on her lips. I was glad she had grasped it so fast. “We should probably get going.” I said, taking her hoof and directing her towards to door at the end of the hallway. She came along, but reluctantly. She didn’t want to leave the window, and I could see why. That was the first time she had ever seen herself. But after a few moments, she fell into step with me. We reached the end of the hall and I pushed the door open, looking at the receptionist desk before I walked through. No, she wasn’t there. I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked through the door, Pearl right behind me. She was walking with me, but her head was turning every way possible, looking at her new surroundings. As I watched her, I couldn’t think of another time where I had seen somepony so happy and so full of wonder. The sparkles in her eyes were so luminous, they looked like the sky during a fireworks display. I trotted over to the door, holding it open for her. As soon as I did, a blast of warm air met me. The sun was setting, but it was still warm outside. I was happy for that. At least it wouldn’t be freezing tonight. I held the door open a little further, motioning Pearl towards it. She slowly trotted towards it, her nose held high in the air. I could smell it then too. The smell of flowers and dirt after a rain. The heavy musky, earthy smell. I couldn’t tell what she thought of it, but it seemed to be drawing her towards the door. I wanted to see her eyes when she stepped outside for the first time, but I also wanted her to take the first steps by herself. She stopped at the door, looking back and forth at the open doorway and me. But this time I didn’t have to encourage here. She just took the first step by herself. She paused again, but then she took another couple of steps.. Finally, she was out the door. I followed her out, shutting the doors behind me. A couple yards in front of the door, Pearl stood absolutely still. Her body was as tense as I have ever seen. Her face was angled towards the sky, but she wasn’t afraid. In fact, it was just the opposite. On her face was the wildest expression I had ever seen. The biggest smile I had ever seen was plastered on her face. The setting sun was casting an amber glow on her fur, causing her eyes to sparkle more than ever. And in her eyes was the oddest combinations of joy and fear I had ever seen. She seemed to be afraid of the world around her, but at the same time, she seemed to be the happiest I had ever seen her. I backed off a bit, giving her some space in case she lost it. But she didn’t. Instead, she just shook her head, trotting in a slow, wide circle. As she walked she twirled, trying to look at everything at once. Her eyes themselves reflected everything they looked at. The trees, the sun, the clouds. Everything reflected perfectly in those brilliant blue eyes. Slowly, she stopped twirling, and she trotted back over to me. I could see more then the world reflected in her eyes now. There was love there. “Do you like it?” I asked, already knowing she did. She nodded, straightening up and kissing me on my cheek. I stroked her mane, feeling it’s watery, silky weight fall over my hoof. I turned towards the path that led towards the gate, and she followed me, like it was the only thing she knew how to do. She seemed to be frightened of the pops and crunches from the gravel, but after a few moments, she didn’t seem to mind anymore. It was taking a child somewhere new for the first time. Everything was a new experience. Everything was new for her. When we reached the gate I slid my card through the scanner and trotted out of the way of the gate as it swung open. Pearl let out a small gasp and backed away, hiding behind me. “It’s fine, Pearl.” I said soothingly. “It’s not going to hurt you. Nothing is going to hurt you while I am here.” I took her hoof and led her through the gate and out into the forest. The expression of awe had not left her eyes. I looked at the horizon, watching the sun set. I gently pulled her to a stop, pointing at it. I wanted her to remember her first sunset. We sat on the ground, my foreleg over her shoulders. She laid her head on my shoulder as the sun fell behind the mountains in the distance. Looking over my shoulder I could see the sun turning her fur the exact colors of the clouds. Pinks and oranges and yellows all playing across her body. As the colors played across her eyes they turned deep purple, but the sparkles stayed the same, shining out of the violet background. The sun slowly dipped below the horizon until it was just a sliver. And that too, finally, disappeared. Her fur was back to normal, only slightly darker than before. She looked up at me, an odd expression on her face. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. I stood up, looking around the forest. Pearl stood up as well, keeping as close to me as possible. I turned, just to make sure she was following, then continued down the forest path. I knew exactly where I wanted to take her. I didn’t know why I was taking her there. It just felt right. Above us, I could hear the animals settling in for the night. And every time a branch rustled or a leaf feel, Pearl would jump slightly. I could tell she was very unnerved, so I slowed down a bit, letting her get as close to me as she wanted to be. As soon as I did this, her body relaxed some. She pressed herself against my side, still looking around the forest with wide eyes. I looked ahead of us and saw the path opening up. Between the trees I could see parts of the night sky, and the field that bordered the forest. And I knew Pearl had seen it too. Her pace had quickened, and soon, she was a few yards ahead of me. I trotted to keep up with her. In no time, we left the trees behind and emerged into the park. Pearl took a few cautious steps away from me, her eyes wide and wary. She started to twirl in a circle just as she had done earlier. As soon as she turned towards the playground, her stopped. She stared at it for a few moments, her head cocked to one side. I smiled and took her hoof in mine, gently leading her towards the playground. “I think you will like it here.” I said quietly. Even a whisper sounded like a shout in the night air. “I used to have fun here when I was a child.” “Fun?” I turned back to face her. Did she really not know that word? Did she not know what fun was? I suddenly felt a pang of pity for her. Of course she wouldn’t. She had been locked up for her entire life. She had never experienced anything fun. I pulled her close and continued walking towards the playground. “I am going to show you fun.” was all I said. Soon we reached the sand border of the playground. The sand was about a foot deeper than the grass was, and I stepped down into the pit. Pearl seemed wary at first, but she quickly jumped down after I did. A look of curiosity worked its way onto her face as she looked down at the sand. She dug a hoof in slightly, feeling the coarse, scratchy grains against her skin for the first time. She just cocked her head a few times before looking back up at me. I smiled at her, then looked around the playground. It hadn’t changed at all since those years as a foal where Rain and I had played. The swings were still there, their chains squeaking in the quiet night. The slides still stood, although they looked a bit battered from all the years of play. The tiny carousel still stood, but I didn’t think I would be taking Pearl on that. I looked back over at the swings, smiling. I was going to take her there first. I gently pulled on her hoof, meeting no resistance from her. I led her over to the swings, making sure the squeaking from the metal chains didn’t scare her. But she didn’t seem at all phased. She just seemed curious. I dropped her hoof when we reached them. They swung in pairs, which was perfect for us. I turned to make sure she was watching me, and she was. I showed her how to get into one without falling out, just like you would a foal. All she did was blink after I was finished, so I pointed at the swing next to me. “Your turn.” I urged. She walked over and got into her swing, even mimicking the way I twisted my back to make sure my wings didn’t get caught in the chains. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing when I saw this. It was just too cute. She looked over at me and cocked her head, and I just smiled. Next, I showed her how to swing her hind legs, and soon she was moving back and forth, a growing smile on her face. I watched as her mane and tail waved back and forth in the air as she swung. A quiet laugh escaped her lips as she swung higher and higher into the air. “Fun!?” she asked, and I nodded. Her eyes were wide and happy, and it looked like she was practically glowing. “Fun!” she called again, laughing as she rose higher into the air. Not wanting her to have all the fun, I started swinging as well, trying to catch up to her. Finally, we were almost in sync, meeting each other halfway through the arc. By then I was as high as I could go, and I remembered something Rain and I used to do. I swung one more time, until I reached the highest point. Then I let go. I flew out of the seat, spreading my wings as I did. I soared out of the swing, arcing over the playground and landing on the other side, without flapping my wings once. Not wanting to worry her, I quickly trotted back over to the swings. Pearl just looked at me when I returned, an odd expression on her face. She wasn’t thinking of-- The next time she reached the highest point, she let go of her swing. I watched her fly into the air, but since she didn’t have wings, she started to drop almost instantly. I ran as fast as I could, my forelegs extended. I reached her a moment before she would have hit the ground. I felt her land in my legs, pulling me off balance, and I landed on my back in the sand, my body wrapped around hers. I uncurled myself, looking at her. What I saw I didn’t expect. She was smiling at me, her eyes alight. She didn’t look scared at all, or even hurt. She planted a kiss on my muzzle. “Fun.” was all she said. I laughed, stroking her mane. “Please, don’t do that again. At least for awhile.” She nodded, standing up She instantly rushed back to the swings, but I backed away a bit. I sat down on the edge of the slide. I just wanted to watch her. The moon, which was almost full, was making her fur glow. even the ground around her seemed brighter than the rest. I wasn’t religious, but I bet, if somepony had walked by right then, she would have looked like an angel. I looked around the playground, my eyes settling on the small canopy above the slides. I fluttered my wings, looking back and forth between Pearl and the canopy. I took a deep breath and flapped my wings. For the first time since Rain had died, I felt my hooves leave the ground. The feeling of freedom associated with flying spread through my body. The dull ache I had been feeling in the base of my wings joints seemed to just float away as I rose into the air. I swooped down, floating in the air next to Pearl. She smiled up at me, trying to catch my wings in her hooves, but I just laughed and wrapped my hooves around her chest. I slowly lifted her into the air, making sure she wasn’t afraid, and also, that I could lift her. Her eyes grew wide as I lifted her up, but soon she was smiling and laughing as I pulled her through the air. I floated over to the canopy, gently lowering her down to the top. The cloth sagged a bit under her weight, but it held her perfectly. I dropped down next to her, folding my wings in next to me. Pearl watched me as I flopped down onto the cloth and laid on my back. After a moment, she did the same, sliding down next to me. She laid her head against my shoulder, and I turned to look at her. In her eyes was an emotion I knew I would never forget. It was more than trust, or love. It was like I was the only thing in her world, and she would be lost without me. She was visibly shivering from the cold night air. I drew her closer to me, wrapping my hooves around her. Gently, I pressed my lips against hers, feeling her do the same. I closed my eyes, trying not to think of anything else. Just being here with her was all I wanted. Slowly, her shivers began to stop as we shared our body heat. Her arms wrapped around my back, sliding underneath my wings. And for the first time, I felt myself shiver from her touch. I would have smiled at this, but my lips were otherwise engaged. By the time we broke apart, her shivers had long since stopped. Our foreheads were pressed together as we layed there. Pearl closed her mouth suddenly, a look of concentration running across her face. “I....I love..you.” she managed, finally. She smiled at me, looking as proud as she had ever been. I pressed my lips against her forehead for a brief moment, then returned to her eyes. “I love you too.” I said. “I love you, so much.” She pressed her lips against mine again, closing her eyes. I did the same, falling into both her and the kiss. Above us the stars glimmered and gleamed. And it seemed like they were shining just for us. At one point Pearl and I opened our eyes at the same moment, and I noticed how perfectly her eyes matched the sky. The soft blue glow of the sky over us, created by the lights from downtown Baltimare. The stars shining, even though the glare from the city. Her eyes were perfect. And so was she. As the night wore on, I extended my wings and wrapped us in a feathery cocoon, and I could feel myself flush from both the warmth and Pearl’s proximity. The moment seemed to go on for minutes, hours, I really wasn’t sure. But finally, I broke the kiss. “Pearl..” I started, not really sure how I should ask the question. “Can...can you remember anything from before the room?” She gave me an odd look and cocked her head. Points for her, it was hard to cock your head while laying down. Her eyes flashed back and forth, but they finally settled back on me. She shook her head. “I thought not.” I said, pulling her against me. “It’s probably for the best though.” She just looked at me and blinked, not understanding. “I’ll tell you one day. When you’re older.” She nodded, laying her head against my shoulder. I saw her eyes begin to close. She exhaled, and I could have sworn I heard a word on that breath. Fun. But I might have been imagining things. And within a few minutes, she was fast asleep. Her chest rose and fell with her steady breathing against my side. Her breath would create a cold draft over my chest. And I didn’t mind. I just wrapped my wings tighter around us, being careful not to wake her. Looking up at the stars, I realized there was no other place I would rather be than right there, with Pearl next to me. I may not have liked working at the hospital, but something good had come out of it. And I wouldn’t have traded that for the world. As the night ticked on, I could feel my eyes begin to close, and before I knew it, I was asleep. ***** I woke, not because it was morning, but because somepony was moving around. Pearl was turning in circles on the cloth, a fearful expression on her face. It looked like she was trying to get a look at something, but couldn’t. I quickly stood up, walking over to her. I placed my hooves on her shoulders, making her stop turning. “What is it, what’s the matter?” I asked, genuinely afraid now. She turned her flank towards me, and what I saw made me gasp. On her upper thigh was something I had never seen on her before. It looked like a green heart. But when I looked closer, I realized what it actually was. It was two leaves, curved together to look like a heart. I stared at it for a moment, finally realizing what it was. “Pearl. You got your Cutie Mark!” I cheered, placing a kiss on her forehead. She just cocked her head at me, not understanding. I turned my flank towards her, showing her my mark. I could see the light blue lightning bolt and stars reflected in her eyes. She reached out a hoof and touched it, then she reached and touched her own. She still looked confused, but I could tell she was calmed down now. I embraced her, looking at the horizon as I did. A sliver of pink was showing just above the mountains. It would be dawn soon. I had to get her back. But as I thought about it, I knew I couldn’t do it. She had gained her Cutie Mark from this experience. To deprive her of this would be torture. I couldn’t take her back to the hospital. I just couldn’t. I broke the embrace and looked around. The very top of the hospital was showing over the trees. And I knew Pearl saw it too. “Go...back?” she finally managed. I looked back and forth between the hospital and the city. One was the right the to do, but one was the morally right thing to do. It wasn’t long before I made my decision. “No. We aren’t going back.” I said, spreading my wings. “We are never going back.”
Chapter 5~Behind Blue Eyes~ Chapter 5 Pearl just stared at me after I said that. I wasn’t sure what thoughts were running around inside that beautiful head of hers, or if she even understood what I had meant. She just blinked once, and then smiled at me. But then she closed her mouth and that same look of concentration appeared on her face. I knew she was trying to say something, but I wasn’t sure what it was going to be. After a few brief moments of silence, she opened her mouth again. “Where are we going?” she said, her voice as soft as her fur. I trotted in a circle a few times, a debate raging in my mind. I couldn’t take her back to the hospital, I just couldn’t. But I really didn’t have any other place I could take her. I could take her to my house. But that would probably be the first place they would look when they found out she was gone. But I didn’t have any other choice. Finally, I stopped and looked back to her. “I am going to take you home. To my home.” As I said this, I flapped my wings and floated over to her. She watched me fly through the air, turning her head as I passed behind her. I wrapped my forelegs around her chest again, just like I had before. I lifted her into the air, making sure I would be able to hold her for a few minutes. She looked up at me as I lifted her into the air. “Home?” she asked me. “Oh, right. You don’t know what a home is.” I said, feeling another pang of pity. “Home is somewhere where you are safe. Where you are with people who love you and care for you.” I never thought I would have to explain that to somepony. “Home is...with you.” she said. I smiled down at her, looking into her stunning eyes. “Yes. Home is with me.” I agreed. The park flew by underneath us, still cloaked in nighttime darkness. I looked behind me, seeing the first rays of sunlight hit the mountains, staining them bright yellow and orange. I could see the streets pass by underneath me, until I saw my house appear from all the rest. I dropped down, letting Pearl land first before I floated down next to her. I opened the door, letting her go in first. She stuck her head in, looking around her a few moments. She looked over her shoulder at me, then stepped through. She rubbed her hoof along the carpet, like she had never felt something like that before. She probably hadn’t, I reminded myself. She twirled in a circle, just like she had the night before, taking in the entrance, and whatever she could see of the other rooms. Her eyes took in the photos I had on the walls, the potted plant I had next to the window. She turned to face me with a closed lip smile. “Home?” she asked. I nodded, walking forward and embracing her. “Home.” I said into her mane. At that moment, I heard her stomach growl. I broke the hug and smiled at her. She just looked down and cocked her head, a nervous expression on her face. I laughed and placed my hoof in hers. “You’re hungry.” I said, leading her into the kitchen. I pulled a muffin out of the tin and handed it to her. She just stared at it for a few moment, then looked up at me, her eyes asking the question she couldn’t. I laughed, pulling another muffin out. “You eat it.” I said, taking a bite out of it. “It’s food.” She looked back down at it, slowly raising it to her lips. She took a small bite out of it, her eyes lighting up almost immediately. She bit down again, taking a huge bite out of the muffin. I watched as in three bites, the entire muffin was gone. She turned her eyes back to me, looking expectantly at the tin can. I smiled, brushing a few crumbs from off her lips. “You are going to need more than that.” I said, pulling out some bread and wildflowers. I led her over to the table by the window, motioning for her to sit down. She did, but her eyes didn’t leave me as I worked. I placed the flowers on the bread, sprinkling some oats on the very top. Rain had always said I was good at cooking, but I never saw it. I could just make sandwiches. When I was done I poured some oat crisps into a bowl and cut the sandwich in half. I carried the plate over to the table, placing the bowl down next to Pearl and the plate in the middle of the table. She reached over and took a half of the sandwich, bringing it to her lips just as she had with the muffin. She didn’t act the same as with the muffin as when she tasted the sandwich. Less of a feeding frenzy and more like thoughtful precision. She would take a bite, her eyes closed, chewing slowly. Then she would open her eyes and look at the sandwich, as if deciding on where to bite next. About halfway through, I pushed the bowl closer her. She looked at it, cocking her head. She pulled a crisp out and bit down, and I could see a smile spread on her lips as she chewed. “Do you like it?” I asked, already knowing the answer. I think I was asking her just so I could hear her voice. “Like it.” she agreed, taking another crisp for herself. She looked at my sandwich half, and then at hers. She pointed at mine, and then at hers, which was almost gone. “Do you want another?” I asked. She nodded enthusiastically. I stood up and walked back to the counter, pulling out the bread and flowers again. When I turned around again, I was greeted with two empty plates and a half empty bowl. I looked at Pearl, who was just staring at me with wide eyes. I laughed and placed the plate down in front of her. “Take all you want. But you might want to slow down.” I teased. “I don’t have that much food here.” She looked down at the plate, then picked up both halves. She looked at them one at a time, and then held one out to me. I took it, quickly taking a bite. She may have been hungry, but I wanted to eat before all the food was gone. I looked her over as she ate. For such a small mare, she could definitely hold her food. I finished quickly, walking back over to the counter. I pulled out a couple glasses and poured some apple juice into them. I carried them over one at a time, then sat back down. She finished her food, then looked at the glass of amber liquid in front of her. I showed her how to hold it in between her hooves, and she took a sip. Immediately, her eyes grew wide. I watched as the entire glass was gone in ten seconds flat. I just stared at her. What had they given her as food at the hospital if even apple juice was new to her? I quickly refilled the glass. This time, she drank slower, taking time to enjoy the taste. When she was finished, she placed her hooves on her stomach, which I could see was slightly distended. That was probably the first time she had been properly fed in years. Maybe even her whole life. I stood up, smiling at her. I took her hoof and led her away from the table, towards the stairs. I showed her how to climb them, as she had obviously never seen any before. Slowly, she climbed up, tripping occasionally. But, finally, we reached the top. She looked around, twirling a she had done before. She walked over to one of the doors, nudging it open with her nose. She poked her head inside, then quickly backed up, looking frightened. She looked back and forth between me and the room. Confused, I walked inside the room. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary. It was just the bathroom. Nothing in there but.....White. The thought dawned on me as I looked around at the white tiles. Poor Pearl. She probably thought I was putting her back into her room. I held the door open further, showing her inside. “There is nothing to be afraid of.” I said soothingly as she walked inside, her ears pressed against her head. “This isn’t the room. I am not going to leave you here.” Pearl gave me a strange look, then walked over to the shower. She touched the clouded glass doors with her hoof, then slid it open. She looked inside, cocking her head a few times. Then she turned and looked at me, pointing at the shower. I wondered when the last time she had been given a proper bath in a proper shower was. “It’s a shower, Pearl.” I said. I reached in and turned the knob, letting the water fall down. She skittered away at first, but then she walked back. She stuck out a hoof into the water, pulling it back when she felt how cold it was. I turned the warm water on then backed away, letting her feel it for the first time. She stuck her hoof back in, smiling now that the water was warm. She pushed more of her leg in. But then she stopped and turned to look at me. I nodded to her. “You can go in. It’s not going to hurt you.” I said. She nodded, turning back to the water. I could see her take a deep breath, then she walked in. I watched as the water turned her normally frizzy pink mane into a curtain of rose. She smiled as it poured over her, pulling away any bad emotions from the past few days. She closed her eyes and sat down, pointing her face into the steam of water. I smiled and backed out of the room. I was going to close the door, but I thought better of it. She wouldn’t like it if I did. So I left it open, and I walked into my room. I looked around. Everything was how I had left it the day before. But something was nagging at me, and I soon found myself pulling a suitcase out of my closet. I really wasn’t sure why I was doing it, but I felt like I should have it ready. Just in case something happened. I placed it on my bed and opened it, looking inside. I almost laughed when I saw was inside. One of my old scarves, a light blue one with dark blue tassels on the end. I had worn this when I was a young colt. I had gotten it at the same fair that picture in my living room. I let my mind wander back to those days, when Rain and I were still together. I was so lost in my thoughts I forgot about Pearl for a few minutes. I was still looking through the suitcase when I felt something wet against my side. I let out a small yell and backed away a few steps, startled. Pearl was standing there, soaking wet, looking as happy as I had ever seen her. A small puddle was forming on the floor under her. “Oh, pearl!” I scolded. But she didn’t seem to care. She just smiled at me. “Oh, come here.” I said, grabbing her hoof and pulling her back to the bathroom. I slipped on the tile when I walked in, landing on my back. The entire floor was wet. Pearl just stood over me, still smiling. I just smiled back and stood up. I grabbed a towel off the rack and proceeded to dry her down. Her head popped out of the towel at one point, and she kissed me on the mouth. I laughed and continued to dry her. When I was finished, I left the towel hanging around her neck. Her mane was extra fizzy now, jutting out at weird angles. I would have to brush it for her. The cloth still tied around her ankle was soaking wet, but I didn’t try to take if off and dry it. I knew she wouldn’t like that. “Pearl, we don’t do that, alright? Stay in here after a shower.” She just nodded enthusiastically, then looked down at the towel. I walked over and turned the water off, then turned back to her. As I looked at her, I had a sudden idea. “Stay here.” I said, as I dashed out of the room. I grabbed the scarf off my bed and trotted back into the bathroom. I showed the scarf to pearl, and she just cocked her head, looking back and forth between me and it. I took the towel off her neck and wrapped the scarf around her, just like I used to do to rain. I stepped back, looking at her. The scarf perfectly matched her eyes, accenting her mane beautifully. She looked down at it, playing with the tassels on the end. “Do you like it?” I asked. She walked forward and kissed me, so I took that as a yes. I pressed myself against her, her fur still slightly damp against my chest. Once again I could feel her heart beat with mine, like a metronome. I ran my hoof through her mane, the wet hair sticking to my hoof slightly. I could have stayed like the forever, but she broke the kiss, her ears perked up. I listened closely, and I heard it. Somepony was knocking on my door. Panic flowed through me. I looked around, but I knew there was no way I could leave the house without being seen. I turned back to Pearl, who could tell I was agitated. “I want you to stay here, alright? Stay in here no matter what.” She nodded, sitting on the floor in front of me. I quickly kissed her on the cheek, then grabbed my bathrobe off the hook on the door as I galloped down the stairs. I had to think of an alibi quick. And I think I knew the one. I jumped the last couple stairs and landed in front of the door. I quickly put the robe on, making myself look as tired as possible. Then I took a deep breath and opened the door. Silver was standing there, looking down at me. He wore saddlebags on his back, and his uniform as well. For a moment, he had a frown plastered on his face, but then a smile appeared. “Hey, Newbie! I was wondering where you were today. Gosh, you look terrible.” he said, putting some feeling into the words. I nodded, coughing for extra effect. “Yeah, I think I caught the flu or something. I would have gone up and tell you, but I didn’t think I could do it.” “Hey, no sweat!” he said, smiling still. “Anyway, I covered for your shift. Or, well, I would have, if she had been there.” The smile fell off his face as she finished his sentence. I just stared at him, trying to play dumb. “What do you mean?” I asked, coughing again. “I mean, she wasn’t there, in her cell!” he said, malice entering his voice. “So, that was problem enough. That was about the worst thing that can happen, a patient escaping.” Every sentence he finished, he took another step forward. Soon, he was in past my door. “But then, I found this.” he said, reaching back and opening his bag. He pulled something out, something that looked familiar. “My journal!” I gasped. Anger flowed through me. “How did you get that!” “It doesn't matter how, the point is I have it.” “You broke into my locker!” I accused, completely dropping the sick act. “I would hardly call it breaking in if you know the combination. You shouldn’t have said it was your birthday.” I opened my mouth to respond, but then closed it. It’s true, I had said it was my birthday. “I had been suspicious of you for a while. You were acting really strange. So I opened the locker, and found this staring at me.” he said, looking into my eyes. “I didn’t know what to think at first, reading through the first couple of entries. But then I got to the last ones. And everything changed.” I could see his expression soften, returning almost to normal. “Do you really love her?” he asked. I nodded. “Completely. I wouldn’t trade anything for her.” “And I can see she feels the same for you.” he said. “How do you..?” “Because she is standing right there.” I turned as fast as possible. Pearl was standing at the top of the stairs, the scarf still around her next. She was giving us a frightened look, her eyes flashing back and forth. “Pearl!” I hissed. “I told you to stay in the bathroom.” She shook her head, rushing down the stairs and standing next to me. Silver turned his head slightly, looking her her flank. At her Cutie Mark. “When...when did she get that?” “She got it last night, when I took her outside for the first time in years.” I said, a steel edge in my voice. “See what you ponies have been depriving her of?” “I..I had no idea.” He looked up at her. “I am so sorry...Umm..” “Pearl.” she answered. It was the first time I had heard her name spoken by herself. It sounded like the jewel itself when she said it. Silver looked taken aback. “She can talk now?” I nodded. “All it took was a little help. She is an extremely fast learner.” “And you love her?” I nodded. “Does she feel the same way?” As an answer, Pearl latched on to me, pressing her lips against mine. After a few seconds, she broke apart. “I love him.” she answered. Silver just looked between the two of us. The look in his eyes made it seem like his entire world had turned upside down. “I...I wasn’t expecting this..” he said, sitting down on his haunches. “You know they are going to be looking for you two, right?” he said after a few moments. “I know. I have been thinking about where to take her.” “You are probably going to have to leave the state. Maybe even a few states over.” I know. I might need a couple days to find the right--” Silver was shaking his head. “You aren’t going to have the time. As soon as they find out, they are going to come looking for you. You might have a day, two at the most.” “So, what you do recommend?” I asked. Silver shrugged, looking around for a moment. Suddenly, he gasped. He reached back into his bag and pulled out two small slips of paper. He handed them to me. I saw “Equestria Airlines” printed in bold font. “Use these.” he said. “You need them more than I do.” I shook my head, pushing the tickets back towards him. “I can’t! You already payed for them and everything!” Silver grabbed my hoof with his, placing the tickets in it. “You need them more than I do. More than I probably ever will. Go there, start a new life. I can just tell my marefriend that something came up at the hospital and we can’t go this time.” “Are you sure?” He nodded. “Very sure. She needs you, and I can tell you need her. You look like a completely different stallion from when I first saw you. This has helped you.” I closed my hoof around the tickets, putting them in the pocket of my robe. “I can’t thank you enough. Really, thank you.” Silver shook his head, smiling. “Hey, it’s no problem, Sky!” he said, shaking my hoof. “Just make sure you write when you get settled. I can probably throw them off your trail if I say you were not home. But I can only get you an extra day, at the most. So you have to move fast.” “I understand.” I said. I walked forward and embraced him. “Thank you so much for this.” “No problem. It’s the least I could do.” he said. I released him, and Pearl walked forward. She leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his cheek. “I’m so sorry, for what we have done to you.” he said. “You don’t...have to be.” she said. Silver smiled, handed my my journal, then turned around. “See ya, kid! Have fun on the west. And don’t forget to write!” he said over his shoulder, then galloped off, leaving us to do nothing but stare after him. I really wasn’t sure what to do. I had just cut the only tie I had left to this city. I turned to Pearl, who was watching me intently. “We are going to have to leave. Tonight if possible. I just have to know. Do you really want to leave this place forever? Because we cannot come back.” She didn’t even pause before she replied. “No. Leave.” she said. I smiled, standing up and trotting upstairs. I guess I was right. I did need the suitcase after all. I dumped the rest of the contents out on my bed. Clothes from when I was a foal. Bits and pieces from my life that I couldn’t remember. After I was done, I grabbed my scarf, a bright red one, from inside my closet. I also grabbed a couple other winter clothes, doubting I would need them much in Los Pegasus. I threw them into the suitcase, then trotted out into the hall. Pearl was watching me with wide eyes. I turned towards the door next to mine, and I took a deep breath. I hadn’t opened her door since she died. Even the door handle was covered in dust. I placed my hoof on it, feeling the dry, powdery feeling of the dust rubbing off onto my hoof. I turned the handle, and I opened the door. It was just like she had left it that day. Even her sheets, the same color as the clouds outside, was turned down, like she had just gotten out of it. I looked around the room I had not seen in six years. The window was open, and the drapes waved in the breeze. The sun was shining through, playing off the dust in the air. It landed on the white sheets on her bed and played out in all directions, filling the room with light. I slowly walked inside, puffs of dust rising with each step I took. A Wonderbolts posted was still hanging on the wall above her bed, although it was faded to the point of being monochrome. At the foot of her bed was a trunk. A wooden trunk she liked to keep the things she liked best in. Toys from her childhood, pictures, books. She didn’t like anypony to go in there, but she always allowed me to. I knelt down and opened it, dust rising from where my hooves touched it. I pried it open, the wood sticking to itself after so many years of being closed. Inside, covered with a layer of dust, was all her most precious items. I began to pull things out at random, looking and remembering. The first book she ever read by herself. Pictures she drew as a filly. Various other items that would only have meaning for her. But I was surprised she kept most of them. She never was the nostalgic type. I reached further in, until my hoof bumped against something wooden. It wasn’t the bottom of the trunk. It felt like a box. I grabbed a hold of it and pulled it out. It was a cedar box, about a foot long and and three inches deep. It had a small lock on the front. I put it next to my ear and shook it. Inside, something rattled. I looked around the room, and I could see nowhere she might hide a key. But then I had a sudden idea. I flipped the box over, and smiled. Taped to the bottom was the key. I pulled it off. it was so like Rain to have the key there. Hidden in plain sight. I put the key into the lock and turned. The lid popped up, and I slowly opened it up. Inside, the case was lined in purple silk. It was obviously meant to be a jewelry box, but Rain had found another purpose for it. A small picture was inside. Just that and nothing else. I was about to put it back, when I got a second look at the picture. It was me and Rain at the park. She was on the swing, and I was on the ground, pushing her. It was taken at just the right time. She was hanging in the air, almost at the apex of the arc. Her eyes were open and alive, a broad smile on her lips. It was one of those times where you could tell the voices weren’t bothering her. It was just her up there, nothing else. I pulled the picture out, remembering that time at the park. It was the first time I had gotten her on the swings. Her wings were spread out behind her, making it look like she was almost ready to fly away. I felt indents on the back of the picture, and I flipped it over. There were words written on the back in Rain’s loopy hoofwriting. Dearest Brother, I know it will be you reading this. Only you knew me well enough to find this box. I don’t know if you will find it soon, or years from now. But I know you will find it. By now...well, you know how the cliche goes. I am dead. Don’t feel sorry for me. Please don’t. There is no reason to. This is exactly what I wanted. I wanted freedom. I wanted peace. And I wanted quiet. And after all these years, that is exactly what I got. My one wish, is that you don’t remember me for this. I want you to remember me for all the time we spent together. All the times we played at the park. All the times you held me when I was sad. All the times you tried to make the voices go away. All the times you protected me at school. You were my guiding angel through all of my rough life. I want you to remember those times. Not this. But that isn’t why I wrote this. I wrote this for one reason only. To tell you something I could say to your face. To those bright yellow eyes of yours. One simple thing. I just wanted to say, before I go. Goodbye. Goodbye, my friend. Goodbye, my pal. Goodbye, my brother. Goodbye. Your Dearest Sister, Rain I just stared down at the note, emotions running rampant. I didn’t know when I started to cry, but before I knew it, tears were falling from my eyes. I felt myself sit down, although I never told myself to. I can’t believe I had never found this. She had wanted me to find this! “Rain...oh Rain. I’m so sorry..” I moaned. I should have known she was feeling like this! I should have seen it.... “I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT!” I felt myself yell, even though I hadn’t told my mouth to open. Sobs ripped from my chest as I clutched the note against me. My back was against the wall to her room, but I could barely feel it. I couldn’t feel anything but the pain roaring through me. I was so oblivious that I didn’t hear Pearl walk into the room. She walked over to me, sitting down on the floor next to me. She wrapped her forelegs around me, pulling me against her chest. I felt myself curl up against her, tears still falling from my eyes. I felt her lips against my forehead for the briefest moment. And then they were gone. But she still held me, laying her head on mine, riding out the tears with me. I don’t know how long I laid there, but eventually, the tears began to slow, until all that was left were dry sobs. I uncurled myself, looking up into her eyes. She just stared down at me, her face as blank as the wall behind us. I swallowed multiple times before I opened my mouth, and even then, my voice was weak and broken. “Thank you.” She nodded, pulling me into a tight embrace. I could feel her chest wet with me tears, and I felt even worse. That was the one thing Rain had not wanted. She wanted me to be happy for her, and I was doing the complete opposite. I broke the hug with Pearl and stood up, my legs shaky. Pearl stood back, watching me closely. I was wondering what she was thinking, but then again, I didn’t really want to know. I placed the picture on the top of the bedspread, then looked around the rest of the room, I had almost forgotten what I had come in here for. “Pearl...could you...umm..” I stuttered. “Could you get the suitcase from my room. The black thing on my bed.” She nodded and walked out of the room. I quickly walked over to Rain’s closet and opened the door. I pulled clothes out without looking, throwing them onto her bed. Pearl came back, pulling the suitcase in behind her. I quickly stuffed some of Rain’s winter clothes inside, along with my clothes. Then I zipped it up and put it down next to the bed. “Do you think you can take this downstairs?” I asked. “I just want to look around for a moment.” Pearl nodded, grabbing the handle and walking out of the room. I stood there for a moment, looking around at the empty room. Then I walked over to the bed and picked up the photo. I stared down at it, trying to decide what to do. It only took a minute. I picked the small wooden box up and placed the photo inside it. I closed the lid, hearing the metallic click and the lock closed. Then I placed the box back where I found it, and closed the trunk. I took one last look around the room, then I walked out and shut the door behind me. Pearl was sitting at the table in the kitchen, and she smiled at me when I walked in. I just nodded, walking into the living room. There was one thing I really wanted to take with me. I walked over to the wall and took the picture off the wall. The one with Rain and I at the fair. She wanted me to remember good times we had. I would need this. I walked back into the kitchen and slipped it into the small pocket on the front of the suitcase. Then I pulled the tickets out of my pocket and looked at them. “Equestrian Airlines.” I said under my breath. “Two way...Los Pegasus...International Airport..” Everything seemed to be in order. I looked down the ticket at the departure time. It wasn’t until tomorrow morning. That meant we would have to stay here overnight. I looked at Pearl, and she looked back at me. I could see complete trust there. And I knew it would turn out alright. I made dinner that night. Nothing special, just some rolls and oat grain made into a bread. She seemed to like it, wolfing down half the bread before I even had a piece. I could see her eyes getting heavy even as we sat there. But she didn’t want to sleep after we finished eating. No, she wanted to go look at the stars. I obliged, of course. She looked so happy, looking up at those pinpricks of light, the moon making her fur glow. Finally, she was finished, and I took her back into the house and walked her up the stairs. She didn’t want to stay in Rain’s room, alone, and I really didn’t want that either. So she curled up under the covers next to me, holding me in a tight embrace. “I want you to know I will do everything I can to protect you.” I said quietly into the dark. I heard her sigh, pulling me closer to her. I could feel her fur against me, her warmth mixing with mine. I could feel her heart beat with mine, her chest rise and fall with mine. I felt as close to her as I ever had. More than any other pony, and I wanted to be even closer. And so did she. So, after, as our breathing slowed and we lay in each others embrace, it came as no surprise that the first thing she said was, “I love you.” All I could say was, “I love you, too.” as there was nothing left to say. Soon she fell asleep, and I was not long after. ***** The next morning, the light poured in through my window, falling over my pillow. I opened my eyes to a world of pink. Pearl had pressed herself against me, her head just under my chin and her back against my chest. I let out a small sigh, wrapping my forelegs around her. I could feel her shift, my movements waking her up. She flipped over, her muzzle almost touching mine. She pressed her lips against mine for a brief moment, and then broke away. “Good morning.” I said quietly. “Morning.” she said back to me in a calm, serene voice. I could have just laid there forever, under the covers with her, but I knew I couldn’t. We had to leave soon. But that didn’t stop me from enjoying her presence for a few minutes longer. I pulled her tighter against me, feeling her heartbeat again. It was slow and calm, but it did flutter whenever I moved my hoof up and down her back. She stroked my wings, pulling each feather apart from the other and straightening them out. One feather fell away from the rest, as they sometimes do, and she held it in front of her face, looking at the intricate veins, and the fluffy afterfeather near the bottom. I had a sudden idea. I gently took it from her grasp, placing it behind her ear. It stood out against her white fur so perfectly. She giggled a little, reaching up and feeling the soft down against her skin. I didn’t think she could have looked any more beautiful if she tried. I pulled her close and kissed her one more time, letting my emotions into that kiss. She wrapped her forelegs around my neck, pulling me in closer. I could feel the feather tickling my ear, but I didn’t mind. Finally, I was the one to break the kiss. “Come on, Pearl.” I said, pulling the sheets off. “We have to get going.” She jumped out after me, trotting down the stairs with me. The tickets were still on the suitcase where I had left them, and I picked them up and checked the time. We had just a few hours to spare, which was fine by me. I made some haphazard sandwiches, then did a doubletake to make sure we had everything we were going to need. Suddenly, a thought ran through my head, and I rushed outside. The mailponies were flying by overhead like they always did, heading towards the office downtown. I saw Lunar in the mass and called him down. “What’s up?” he asked, landing in front of me. I really wasn’t sure how I was going to say this. “I am leaving Baltimare.” I said simply. I explained to him how I was going to Los Pegasus, and probably wouldn’t be back for a long time, if ever. He seemed hurt, but he took it well. “So what do you want me to do?” he asked. “Well, you know how you have been wanting to get out of that tiny apartment you have? Well, now’s your chance.” A smile slowly spread on his face. “You have to be..no. You have to be kidding! Your house?! Really?!” I nodded. “She’s all yours after you get off for work. I just have one condition.” “Name it.” he said enthusiastically. “I will be back for all my stuff one day. So, please, don’t throw anything out. Just put it up in Rain’s room.” “Deal.” he said, shaking my hoof. “I can’t...I can’t thank you enough.” “There is no need to. Key’s under the mat. And Lunar, goodbye.” “See ya, man. I hope you like Los Pegasus!” With that, he jumped back into the air and flew off, his smile visible from almost a mile away. I trotted back into the house, Pearl watching me through the window. She walked out to see me when I reached the door. “Are you ready to go?” I asked her. She nodded. I smiled, walking back into the kitchen for the last time. I looked through the doorway into the living room, looking at all the pictures on the wall. I would be back for those. One day. I grabbed the suitcase off the table and trotted back out to Pearl. I locked the door before it closed. And when it shut, the deadbolt snapped into place with a metallic click. It sounded so final. But I knew that wasn’t right. This was just the beginning. ***** I was lucky the airport wasn’t too far from my house. I didn’t think I could carry both Pearl and the suitcase. We finally reached the airport, and I had to stop and look around. Masses of ponies walked around, leaving or entering buildings, pushing past one another on their way. A plane passed over us as we stood there. Long, low, completely made of wood. A team of ten massive pegasi stallions pulled it into the air, their harnesses and wings the only thing making a sound. I turned to Pearl, but she was just looking up at the plane, wonder in her eyes. I put my hoof in hers and gently pulled her along, heading for the right building. Everything after that was a blur of colors and faces. But everything seemed to slow down when we sat down in our seats. Pearl looked uneasy, looking around at all the other ponies. I could tell she didn’t like to be in here, but we had to do it. She finally relaxed, just in time for the takeoff. I felt the plane start to roll down the strip, until, finally, we lifted into the air. This part Pearl didn’t seem to mind, which confused me slightly. But I didn’t complain. The flight lasted about five hours, which was enough time for both of us to get sufficiently bored. But, finally, I felt the plane start to drop, and I perked up. I looked out the window, smiling when I saw it. The ocean, deep blue and rough, spreading away further than I could see. As the the plane turned, I could see the runway and the airport. The airport was a small building compared the the runways. And it just ended at the water, like the rest had fallen away into the sea. The plane turned again, and I got my first view of Los Pegasus. Chaos, that’s all I could describe it as. Chaos. Criss-crossing roads, streets, railroad lines. Overpasses rose from the land like breaching whales, then fall back to the ground like nothing had ever happened. Then the planes turned, and I lost my view. But one thing was for sure. We had made it. I walked out onto the sidewalk in front of the airport, Pearl at my side. Carriages and wagons rolled past, picking up and dropping off more ponies. I tried to think back to when I had seen this many bodies, but I couldn’t think of a time. But I didn’t focus on that. I focused on what lay in front of me. Sitting almost completely center in the Los Pegasus basin, passed miles and miles of suburban homes, parks, streets and yards, stood downtown Los Pegasus. Cloaked in smog, the skyscrapers looked like something you would have heard about in fairy tales. It looked like somepony had dropped giant spikes into the ground, and just forgot to pick them up. Mountains rose up in the distance, almost obscured by the smog and clouds. It seemed so out of the ordinary, but at the same time, fitting in the chaos of the city. Pearl seemed slightly frightened, but at the same time, brave. My feather, still behind her ear, moved with the wind, and I caught it as it almost flew away. I placed it back behind her ear, tucking some of her pink mane over it. “Home?” she said quietly. I nodded, looking out over the unfamiliar city. “Home.” ***** It’s been four years since I first set eyes on Pearl. Four years to the day. And I couldn’t have asked for better years. It had been perfect here. Just perfect. I still write to Silver. He told me about how they are reforming the hospital. Making the patient’s lives better. he says it was all because of me, and what I did. But I like to think I just showed them the way. He also wrote saying he was thinking about moving out to LP, and he might be doing it in the next couple months. I hope he does. I would like to see him again. I did go back for all of mine and Rain’s belongings. Lunar was happy to see me again after four years. He seemed to be getting along just fine. he did exactly as I asked. He put everything I owned in her room, and he said he never went back in after he moved everything. I was grateful for that. Pearl has matured. If you were to speak to her today, you would think nothing of it. She can speak perfectly, and she is even holding down a job working in one of the local nature preserves. She loves it that, and I can see why. There is one thing I haven’t told her though. I didn’t tell her about her past, before the hospital. She just seemed so happy without knowing, and I didn’t want to ruin that. But if she does ask me, I will tell her. I will not lie to her. We got married earlier this year. It wasn’t a very large wedding, just a few friends in a small ballroom. But, given the colors of our coats, we wanted to switch it up. Pearl wore black, and I wore white. She looked so beautiful in her dress, and she looked so happy. She didn’t have anyone to give her away, but she didn’t need anyone. She could do it by herself. I knew we were both thinking the same thing as we said our vows. Neither of us thought this day would happen before we met each other. She still wears the cloth around her ankle, but she does take if off every couple days and washes it. She also keeps the feather tucked behind her ear. Always. She even wore it during our wedding, which made me happy beyond belief. Pearl has said she wants to have foals, and I have to say, I agree with her. Our house just seems too empty, and so does our lives. We have discussed it, and we came to an agreement. If we have a daughter, we both want to name her the same thing. We want to name her Rain.
