Twilight Sparkle Plays With Dolls

by Cyanide

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1024

Twilight Sparkle is a unicorn, and she has a problem...

Twilight Sparkle is a unicorn, and she has a problem...

Published 2012-10-20 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-20 23:10:01 UTC

They're Not Dolls, They're Plastic Models!

It was a beautiful day in Equestria. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Trixie was making out with Chrysalis. Hooves and tails were entwined in the shadow of a large tree deep in the Everfree forest.

"Oh, Trixie," Chrysalis gasped as Trixie nuzzled one of the holes in her hooves. "Nopony must ever find out about our forbidden love!"

"Trixie agrees!" Trixie said, turning her attentions to Chrysalis' gnarled horn. "Nopony must ever know that Trixie is in love with a Changeling! Trixie could never stand the kind of negative public attention that would cause! Trixie Trixie Trixie!"

"Oh, I understand," Chrysalis said, as she stroked a hoof through Trixie's mane. "It would be devastating if I, the Queen of the Changelings, were discovered having a dalliance with a common attention horse."

"Yes! Talk dirty to Trixie! Trixie has no dignity or self-respect!"

And then they made kissy noises at each other. Mwah mwah mwah.

"Uh... Twilight? What are you doing?"

Twilight shrieked and shot up from her bed, a pair of plastic toys being telekinetically shoved under her pillow.

"Nothing!" she said, trying to play as cool as she possibly could while clinging tenaciously to a bookshelf. "Nothing at all! I certainly wasn't playing with my resin models or making fun of ponies I've humiliated in the past!"

Spike sighed and rubbed his face. "Twilight, could you at least do that in the basement with the door closed? The first time I walked in on you like this it was embarrassing, but now it's just getting sad."

Dropping from the bookshelf, Twilight walked over and flopped on her bed. She snorted. "Stop making such a big deal about it. It's not as if you walked in on me m-"

"La la la la la!" Spike shouted, clapping his claws over his earholes. "I am not hearing this!"

"Remember the time I had to change your sheets because you-"

"LA LA LA LA LA!" Spike shouted even louder, before turning and running back down the stairs. Twilight smirked as she watched the little dragon beat a hasty retreat.

"Now then..."

"Come with me, Trixie! Let us leave this forest and found a new empire of big jerks!"

"But-" Trixie gasped, drawing away from Chrysalis. "The Everfree is Trixie's home, now that she can never show her face in civilization again after being humiliated by the smartest, most powerful, most attractive unicorn ever! Trixie can never leave, and will spend the rest of her life here, living under trees and eating pinecones, which are Trixie's favorite food. Trixie Trixie Trixie."

"But, Trixie," Chrysalis said, raising a tentative hoof. "What about us?"

"It can never be!" Trixie said, spinning, eyes brimming with tears that sparkled in the dappled sunlight. "Trixie is far too self-centered to make the slightest sacrifice for anypony, and you are a gross giant bug!"

"But," Chrysalis said, as her own eyes welled with tears. "I don't have to be a gross giant bug! I could be a beautiful purple unicorn with the best cutie mark ever, who everypony likes and who keeps the neatest library anywhere in Equestria!"

"Could it... Could it be?" Trixie said, between sobs. "Would you do that for Tri-"

"Uh, hey!" a muffled voice called from outside Twilight's bedroom window. It was joined by some urgent taps on the glass. Twilight was once again startled, and a pair of small plastic toys bounced off the windowsill before the latch was telekinetically lifted to let Rainbow Dash in the room.

"Rainbow!" Twilight said, hoping she wasn't blushing as furiously as she thought she was. "What are you doing here?"

Rainbow Dash blinked down at Twilight. "Uh, I said I was coming over today to borrow the new Daring Do book." She flitted to the other side of the bed, narrowing her eyes at Twilight. "What were you doing?"

"Nothing!" Twilight lied.

"Cause it looked like you were playing with dolls."

"They're resin models!"

Rainbow Dash blinked again, and then fell to the floor, laughing. "Oh, jeez, Twilight!" she said in between gasping laughter. "Playing with dolls! Wait, I mean... Resin models!" She laughed even harder, ignoring Twilight's increasingly dour glare.

Clambering to her hooves, Rainbow turned to head down the stairs, still laughing. "Okay, I'll leave you alone with your dolls. Hey, Spike! You'll never guess what I just saw..."

A moment passed while Twilight glared after Rainbow, before the drawer to her endtable opened, one of the plastic models was stored and another withdrawn.

It was an awesome day in Cloudsdale. The sun was shining, the birds that were also horses were singing, and Trixie was making out with Rainbow Dash.

"Awww, yeah!" Rainbow Dash said as she fondled anatomically-incorrect Trixie. "This is awesome! 20% cooler! Rainbows and dashing!"

"Yes, say more catchphrases to Trixie!" Trixie said, as she wrapped her hooves around Rainbow Dash. "Tell Trixie about the Wonderbolts!"

"Awww, yeah!" Rainbow Dash reiterated. "I'm so awesome! I get away with not doing my work and barging in on ponies any time of day because I am so awesome! I'm gonna be an awesome Wonderbolt someday, even though I'd never practice or do the necessary work! I'm really fast at everything!"

"Yes! Trixie loves quick, unsatisfying s-"

"Okay, now I'm a little freaked out."

A pair of plastic toys rebounded off Spike's forehead, drawing a yelp from the little dragon. Twilight spun to look over at the stairs again where Spike stood. Rainbow Dash hovered behind him, a hoof rubbing the back of her head as she tried to look almost anywhere but at the unicorn.

"Uh, Rainbow, look, I can explain..."

Spike leaned down and picked up the two toys in his claws, which he gingerly deposited on Twilight's bed. They were both bright blue plastic models of ponies. One was a unicorn with a very light, bordering on grey mane and a purple wizard's hat, while the other was a plastic pegasus decorated with a rainbow-colored mane and tail. He sighed.

"Twilight, you've gotten really weird since Trixie dumped you."