Twilight Sparkle meets the narrator

by Absolute Nonsense

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 2480

Twilight Sparkle is on a quest for knowlege. But what happens when she meets the truth?

Twilight Sparkle wants to know everything. That is a well known fact. However, somethings just shouldn't be know by mortal ponies. So what happens when she finds the truth wrapped up in one pony? Well that hasn't stopped her before. But is it really a good idea to take the story-teller into the story?

(You've all heard it before: First fic, please give constructive criticism, yadyadya.)

Published 2012-10-21 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-21 16:30:01 UTC

The beginning

In this modern age, of work and enormous cities of glass, many things in the world have become quite boring. This is not because the world is boring, on the contrary, if you look hard enough, you will find an endless supply of interest. But most don't look hard enough, so the world is a very boring place.

You may wonder why a story of multi-coloured ponies starts with the declaration that things are boring. Well it is all relative. If in one world, thing become too big an too boring, then by proxy, other world become small and vastly more interesting.

Now I hear you saying to your screens “Now hang on mister narrator, I came to this story to escape boredom, not be reminded of it! I have half a mind to leave right this second!”

Well if you want to leave, there is nothing I can do, other than say that you will miss out.

Now back to what I was saying, because your world has become more boring, other worlds have started to become much more exciting, and one of these worlds is a world of ponies, and that, is the one we are interested in.

...

This story, like many others, starts with a young mare named Twilight Sparkle. I am sure you are all acquainted with miss Sparkle, and if not, why on earth are you still reading? In any case this story starts with miss Sparkle, studying.

Twilight was busy trying to prove a hypothetical constant for the force of chaos on any given situation. Dreadfully boring stuff, as all her friends had said before; but, she was absolutely certain that this would be the key to defeating any other villains that may pop up along their lives in Equestria.

“Hey Twilight!” shouted Rainbow Dash as he entered the library, not bothering to knock “Wanna come see my latest trick? It's so awesome, the Wonderbolts are gonna have to let me join!”

Remembering how long Dash had spent in the hospital last time, Twilight asked “Does it have anything to do with flaming grizzly bears this time? Those weren't easy to summon, and I got in an awful lot of trouble when they caught town hall on fire.”

“Oh come on! Are you never gonna let that go? That was one time! Are you coming or not?” Rainbow Dash said.

Twilight let out a long sigh. Since moving to Ponyville, Twilight had vastly increased her knowledge of friendship, not a hard thing to do when you know next to nothing on the subject. One thing she had learned was that one must always support their friends in all they do, even if one has studying to do. “Fine” she said.

“Woo! Meet me at the top of the hill next to sweet apple acres in 20 minutes!” Rainbow Dash called as she ran out the door “And don't forget those summoning spells!”

As Twilight watched Rainbow Dash fly off, She wondered how much it would cost this time to repair town hall.

...

Several hours, burns, and a visit to the hospital and the mayor, Twilight was back once again working away.

Describing what is going through her mind is a difficult thing, as high level dimensional chaos theory is no longer taught in in schools these days. So I'll spare you the details and continue on to the interesting part.

Spike walked inside, he had just spent the day with his dream mare, Rarity, hunting for gems. It was tireless work, and he didn't get to eat a single gem he dug up. But he got to spent time with Rarity, and that is all that matters.

“So did you figure out that chaos thingy that you were so excited about this morning?” Said Spike.

“First of all, it's not a “thingy” it is an abstract constant of the universe, and no, I have not figured it out.” Replied Twilight.

“Well is there anything you need your number one assistant to do?” asked Spike.

“Sorry Spike. I don't.” Said Twilight.

So once again Twilight was left with her studying. It was infuriating her that, everything she had tried so far hadn't worked. Twilight was completely oblivious to the fact that it is absolutely imposs-

“Oh what's this? I think this might be the answer!” said Twilight.

Suddenly it is not so impossible to find the constant. Twilight became a whirlwind of action. Scrolls and books flew towards her as she began her incantation.

“Alright, I need Teleportation for foals, a complete guide to extradimentional travel and dos and don'ts of summoning extra-dimentional beings.” Twilight thought aloud.

Drawing runes on the floor, Twilight started her spell. She was concentrating for only a moment and then she vanished.

...

Whoa, this was not what I predicted. Where am I?

Wait, how did you get here? That's impossible!

Who are you? Why can't I see anything?

Oh, give me a moment.

Twilight Sparkle suddenly saw a room materialize around her. It was very reminiscent of her library, in fact it was her library. As she looked around she noticed-

Why are you describing what just happened? And where are you? And who are you?

Well if you could give me a moment, I would explain. You see nothing here happens unless I say it does, now Twilight Sparkle, would you sit down so I can finish?

Twilight sat down.

There we go, now as I was saying, Twilight had found herself in her library again, thought now she was noticing subtle differences. The books had no words on the covers and there wasn't anything out the windows. She heard the sound of hooves and spun around to see a glorious midnight black alicorn walking down the stairs. He had-

Wait who's that?

That's me.

Really? A black alicorn?

The black alicorn looked crestfallen and started to deflate, shrinking down to an averagely sized light blue pegasus with an orange mane. That better?

Yes thank you. Now who are you?

The pegasus stood up taller. I am-

Do you really have to narrate everything?

Well yes, as I was about to say I am the narrator. I am the one who makes sure things happen. Now I'm-

So wait, you're the constant of the universe? That doesn't make any sense! According to Starswirl's law of the universe, it's impossible for a constant to be sentient! You can't be in control of the entire world!

A moose floats through the room and all the books start to proclaim their love of cheese.

W-What?

The room returns to normal. Now do you believe it? Now maybe I can shed some light on what has just happened. You have just breached through the wall of the universe and cause a temporo-spatial embodiment to spontaneously come into existence. For those who don't understand theoretical pan-dimentional physics, you just broke the fourth wall. Congratulations.

Wait, who wouldn't understand physics? There's only the two of us.

Twilight you really don't get it. I just said I am the narrator. Narrators only exist when someone wants to know what's going on. Therefor we are being watched.

What? This is all some book?

Well it might be a play, I'm not sure, I'm just the narrator. My job is to make sure that everypony knows what's happening. And to, sometimes, push you along with a bit of coincidence.

So everything that has ever happened was because of you?

Oh no. I've just been narrating since you got up this morning. Others were doing the work before. It's all very-

Oh hey Twilight! I didn't know you could get here!

P-Pinkie? Where are you?

Oh silly me! I forgot! Pinkie bounds down the stairs in her usual excited way!

What, but, now your there! I thought only the narrator could do that! And why can't I stand up!

Listen Twilight, in here you have to narrate actions for anything to happen. That's why I'm still standing. I haven't yet said I'll sit down. The blue pegasus sits down. See? Now I've sat down.

Well then, I stand up.

No, no, you have to do it in the third person.

Twilight Sparkle stands up.

There you go.

And then she marches over to the blue pegasus and shouts “This doesn't make sense!”

Now, now, Twilight. Don't get mad at him. He's just doing his job! No need to shout!

And, Pinkie, how did you get here?

Oh I've always been able to get through here! It makes it sooo much easier to throw parties for everypony!

As I said before Twilight, you've just broken the fourth wall. Pinkie here has been doing it since she was a young foal.

Yep! Ever since I got my cutie mark, I've been able to hear this guy or one of his friends!

In any case, have you had enough Twilight? Would you like to go back home?

But I've still got so many questions! I can't go back home without answers!

Oh! Oh! I know! You can come back with us!

Uh Pinkie, I don't think that's such a good idea...

Oh come on, it'll be fun! Pinkie grabs both Twilight and the blue pegasus. Suddenly there is a huge flash of light!

...

“What happened?” Said Twilight.

“Oh I just broke the fourth wall, no biggie.” Replied Pinkie.

“Pinkie,what did you do!” cried the blue pegasus.

“I just said silly! I broke the-”

“No! I meant, why did you bring me with you!”Said the blue pegasus.

“Oh silly, you can start talking in first person now, After all, that's the way it is now!” said Pinkie.

“Well...Ok.” The- I said.

“There you go!” said Pinkie.

“Could somepony please explain what just happened?” yelled Twilight.

“I just came into existence in the physical world. Since the world hasn't imploded, I guess, it's ok.” I said “It's so odd talking in the first person.”

“Well now I can finally give you a name!” Said Pinkie “Oh! But first, you need a cutie mark!”

What Pinkie said was true the-I didn't have a cutie mark. After thinking for a moment, the image of a peculiar question-mark appeared on my flank.

“How's that?” I asked.

“Perfect! Now we can call you, hmmm. I know! Pen Stroke!” said Pinkie.

“Uh, no Pinkie, that been taken. How about Nonsense. It's what I'm called by the other narrators.” I said.

“WOULD SOMEPONY MAKE SENSE!” Shouted Twilight.

“Twilight, think of it like this: everything that has just happened is the same as Pinkie's twitchy tail. Not something you can explain with conventional science. Or magic. Or even logic.” I said “Pinkie, I don't think this is a good idea. This is still about Twilight, and it's next to impossible to narrate from the second person.”

“Don't be silly! It'll be fun! You can finally meet all those ponies you wanted to see!”said Pinkie.

“Well... I guess it can't hurt to hang around for a couple of days. Maybe I'll answer some of Twilight's questions while I'm here. Shall we head off to sugarcube corner? That's where some of your friends should be.” I said.

“Ooo goody! Now I can finally throw you that party!” Said Pinkie.

As Pinkie and I started to trot off, Twilight just sat with a dazed stare, wondering how she now had more questions than answers, and whether “Nonsense” could read her mind.

...

I would never say that Pinkie is one for subtlety. The second she bounded into sugarcube corner, she shouted at the top of her lungs “Hey everypony! This is Nonsense and he's the narrator!”

“W-w-what she means to say is that name is Nonsense and I narrate... things...Like plays! And books!”I said “Way to think quickly.”

“I beg yer pardon?” asked Applejack.

“Silly! You forgot to think!”said Pinkie “You have to do that now!”

“Oh, right.” I said.

“This is going to be harder than I thought.” I thought to myself.

“Well I'm Applejack. It's a pleasure ta meet ya.” Applejack said, as she shook my hoof.

“And I'm Rarity. It's not often we see a new face in town.” Said Rarity.

“Well it's uh... Nice to finally meet you two. Pinkie has said nothing but nice things about you.”I stammered.

“Well I'm pleased as punch to be meeting one of Pinkie's friends from outside of Ponyville. So where do ya come from?” Applejack asked.

“Oh you know... Way off... over that way...” I gestured with my hoof “You know... over there.”

“Right well then I hope you enjoy yer time in Ponyville. I need to be headin' off to the farm.” Applejack said as she left sugarcube corner.

“By the way Twilight, you seem awfully quiet today. Did you studying go well last night.” Asked Rarity.

“I just discovered that Pinkie Pie knows more about the workings of the universe than I do. And that nothing makes sense.” mumbled Twilight.

“Oh dear, that isn't good at all. Well I should be off. My Magnum Opus won't make itself!” Rarity said.

“So uhh. Where can I stay?” I asked.

“Oh I know! You should stay with Twilight! You did say it was still her story!”Said Pinkie.

“Do you mind?” I asked Twilight.

“So long as you answer all my question, I see no reason why not.” Twilight sighed. It seems that she had finally come to terms with my existence.

“Well no use dawdling. We ought to get going.”I said. I could tell that Twilight was desperately trying to rationalize me with conventional science; and it wasn't working.

...

By the time we got to the library, Twilight had finalized her her theory. Quite an impressive feat, when you consider I break all know laws of physics.

“Well it's been a long day I think we ought to “Hit the hay” as it were.” I said.

“What?” Said Twilight, utterly bewildered.

“Oh, I thought everyone knew that one. I meant to say we ought to get to bed.”I said “Where can I sleep?”

“You can head down to the basement. We have a guest room down there.” Twilight said.

“Well good night!” I said.

Once I reached the basement, I was utterly amazed by the fact that Twilight hadn't simple snapped by that point. Upstairs, Twilight was frantically writing plans for tomorrow, along with revising every note she had. I kind of wish I'd gone straight back but; who am I kidding? Of course I want to be a part of this story! It's much better than simply observing it.

My second order of business, was sleeping. I know ponies did it, and I know what it is supposed to be like, but beyond that, I have no clue.

In the end I settled for lying down on the bed and and closing my eyes hoping sleep would come naturally. And, eventually, it did.

...