My Little Rock of Horrors
Pinkie Pie went about her kitchen diligently, gathering the ingredients for an evening batch of cupcakes. As she was getting a bag of flour, she noticed a certain gray pegasus hovering just outside the open window.
"Hey, Pinkie!" Derpy said. "Wanna go do something?" Out of nowhere, she pulled out a bagged loaf of bread, helpfully labeled "Bread" on the packaging. "I've got bread~!" To emphasize her point, Derpy compressed the loaf in her hooves, producing a comical sound.
"Oh, sorry, Derpy!" the pink mare started. "I'm busy right now. I have a huge order to fill, and I don't have any time to waste! Maybe tomorrow, okay?"
Derpy nodded in agreement before flying off sadly.
Back at her house, Derpy went to the basement, where her temporary guest and friend was busy welding something onto a blue police box, for whatever reason. The pegasus had to yell over the noise to be heard.
"Hey Doctor! Whatcha doing?!"
The brown stallion stopped welding and looked at his host. "I'm don't mean to sound rude, Miss Hooves, but please, bug off. I'm busy at the moment." He continued his welding, as Derpy once again left, depressed. The moment she stepped outside, however, the depression was replaced with an idea. She knew somepony who wouldn't be busy at this hour!
Rainbow Dash was laying on her couch, eating from a bowl of popcorn. Her T.V. was blaring with the sounds of rapid trotting and gunshots. Western movies were a favorite of hers.
Silently, Derpy began hovering behind the closed window. "Hey Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiinbow Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash," she calls out to the rainbow-maned pegasus, hoping that she'll answer. Instead, however, Rainbow just lowered the shade on the window, not even saying anything or looking away from her T.V.
Rejected once again, Derpy flew back down to earth and started walking around aimlessly, a look of sadness upon her face.
"Why won't anypony spend time with me...?" she asks herself. She looks up, and spots a single star, brighter than all the others surrounding it. Recalling the old stories about wishing stars, she speaks a simple request.
"I wish I had somepony to spend time with me right now."
Of all the things that could've happened, near the bottom of Derpy's mental list was the fact that the star would suddenly rush to the ground, causing a large impact that threw Derpy off her hooves. When she looked back up in the direction of the crash site, she saw an ominous green glow just outside of Ponyville.
Crawling through some bushes, Derpy found herself at the edge of the crater, where a large, glowing, green, gooey, brain-shaped rock was laying motionless. As she caught sight of it, a musical voice suddenly projected itself from the rock.
Well, hello there, young mare,
don't be shy,
A green tentacle came from the glowing rock and pushed Derpy into itself, causing her to get some green slime on her hooves. The voice continued.
Step right up, I'm a reasonable guy,
Along with another tentacle, a green eye popped up on the front of the rock. Derpy gave it a nervous smile.
Don't be frightened by the look in my eye,
I'm just your average evil meteor from outta the sky.
A tentacle suddenly grabbed Derpy's head, suction coming from it. The tentacle then pokes around her head until it gets to one of her ears, where it tries to seemingly pull something out. It actually felt somewhat ticklish, so Derpy couldn't help but let out a chuckle as she protested. "He- Hey, whatcha trying to do? Suck my brains out?"
The meteor looked closely into her ear for a second, before pulling back and flipping the pegasus. When she got back on her hooves, the rock started talking again.
Well I'm just shy, and scared in this place,
just a fish outta water from outer space,
you can see that the trip has left me tired and drained, so why don't you be a pal...
...and bring me some BRAAAIINS!
Derpy, honestly not being the brightest, heard the word "pal" and decided to help. "Okay!"
The meteor lifted Derpy out of the crater, despite the fact that she could fly. Once she was put down, she turned and said to her new found friend, "Don't worry, new buddy! I'll get you all sorts of brains!"
Derpy flew home again, idly wondering why she was the only one who was checking out the landing site of the meteor. Those curiosities were forgotten, however, when she went into her kitchen. She looked for a bit, before finding a box labeled "Bran."
Yes, Derpy really wasn't all that bright.
Bringing the box back to the meteor, it grabbed it and looked at the label, before giving a look that questioned the intellect of this pony. Throwing the box away, he reached into a nearby house and pulled out a book. Flipping it to a certain page, he then showed it to Derpy. The book was on a page showing an x-ray of a pony's head, and a tentacle pointed to the brain. Derpy understood quickly. "Okay! Where do I find these so-called 'brains'?"
Go down to your friend's place,
see the dull expression on her face,
you'd be doin' her a favor if you brought her to me,
she ain't usin' her brain, she's just watching T.V.
Getting Dash out of her house and away from her Westerns only took the offhand mention that the Wonderbolts happened to be looking for her just outside of town. However, when she found not Spitfire, or Soarin, or any of the other Wonderbolts, but a glowing green rock, a look of confusion entered her face.
"Say, what's the big idea, Der-" Before she could finish her complaint, a tentacle dove into her ear, extracting her brain. The moment it popped out of her ear, her whole body took on a greenish shade, and she sat there, dumbly. Meanwhile, the brain was "eaten" by the tentacle, where it slid down to the rock. Ever so slightly, it grew.
After Derpy witnessed all of this, the creature gave her further instructions.
Go down to the Apple family,
Granny Smith ain't had a thought since forty-three,
her brain is the portrait of atrophy,
she ain't usin' it, why not give it to me.
After bringing the elderly pony (who, for some reason, was wearing a stylish hat) to the meteor, she received the same treatment as Dash, while the rock seemingly went into a chorus.
Brains, brains, I won't lie!
I'll eat their brains 'til they're zombified!
Sure, they might think it's deranged,
But they won't give it a thought after I've eaten their brain.
The tentacles removed the hat from the now-zombified Granny Smith, and instead placed it on Derpy's head. Her smile was wide under her new apparel.
Brains, brains, it's okay!
It's not a matter of it isn't gray,
if at first they think it's strange,
they won't think twice if they don't have a brain.
Derpy and the two zombies bobbed along with the infectious beat, before a tentacle smacked Derpy, telling her to go off and get more of the brains this thing craved.
Go down to the Won-Ton shop,
my fortune cookie says that I just can't stop!
I'll suck the noodle right out of their heads,
then half an hour later, I'm hungry again.
Derpy brought more and more ponies back to the meteor, and every one of them had their brains eaten, turning them into dancing zombies. The meteor itself was also getting bigger and bigger; it was a wonder that no one else came to check it out.
Creep into the donut shop,
sneak in, tip-toe past the cop,
pick me up a cruller and a cupful of tea,
and any other sweetbreads you happen to see.
As the creature went into the chorus again, the same cop that Derpy had snuck past had actually had the common sense to check out all the music and glowing. Unfortunately for him, he also lacked the common sense to report this, and instead fired off bolts of magic at the creature, all of them going wide. His brain was then liberated from his cranium, and he joined the trove of dancing zombies, led by Derpy.
More and more ponies were brought by Derpy, and more and more brains were feeding the creature. Even local celebrities, such as Twilight Sparkle, Rarity (and Spike, who attempted a poorly planned and executed rescue), and even Mayor Mare. At this point, it would be safe to assume that the majority of the town had been reduced to mindless dancers.
Brains, brains, I love 'em, I need 'em,
my tummy jumps for joy when I eat 'em,
big ones, fat ones, short ones, and tall ones,
they're so delectable, especially the small ones,
no time to cook 'em in a skillet,
my belly's rumblin', I got a need to fill it,
I don't fry 'em, the heat will only shrink 'em,
I just grab myself a straw, and I drink 'em uuup!
The meteor was growing to massive proportions, as was the crowd of dancing zombies. They all danced in a familiar fashion for a while, as one of the zombie ponies was inexplicably playing a trumpet.
At Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie had just finished the large batch of cupcakes.
"Mr. and Mrs. Cake! The order's ready!" she called out. When they didn't answer, however, she went looking for them. Soon, she realized that they weren't there. "I wonder where they could be," she said to herself. At that moment, she looked out the window and saw a green-hued glow coming from not too far away, and she could hear an infectious trumpet playing.
"Oooh! This I gotta see!"
A tentacle patted Derpy on her head.
You've been swell, to go around,
and bring me every single brain in town,
but with all these brains, I can't help but think,
that there isn't one left out there to drink?
On her way to all the commotion, Pinkie saw the Doctor working on something through Derpy's basement window. She was curious to what he was doing, but she didn't pay it any mind. She apparently had a party to get to!
Now, fess up, girl, come on, heck,
is there someone that you're tryin' to protect?
Bring her down here, to meet her end,
and I promise, I'll be your bestest friend!
Hearing that, Derpy gave the creature's eye a hug before setting off for the few she hadn't brought to the thing yet.
Brains, brains, I won't lie!
I'll eat her brain until she's zombified,
sure, she might think it's deranged,
but she won't give it a thought, after I've eaten her brain.
On her way to fetch who she was thinking of bringing next, Derpy ran into Pinkie, who just happened to be the same pony she was thinking of bringing.
Brains, brains, it's okay!
Pinkie and Derpy happily hopped to the meteor. Pinkie didn't seem to care about the dancing zombies surrounding her.
It's not a matter if it isn't gray,
and if, at first, she thinks it's strange,
she won't think twice if she don't have a brain.
Pinkie had finally caught sight of the giant rock, and stood in shock.
Braaaaiiiins, bring me her braaaaaiiiiin,
bring me her BRAAAIIIIN, BRING ME HER BRAAAAAAIIIIN!
The meteor let out an evil laugh as the song finished.
"Ooh, is this a party? Because I'm the master at throwing par-" Before Pinkie could ramble anymore, a tentacle shot into her ear, pulling out her brain and leaving a mindless zombie. Derpy poked her with a hoof.
"Pinkie?"
The creature ate the brain like it did all the others, but it's eye dilated when it reached the rock part of him.
"Gah! What's happening?!"
The tentacles began melting away, as did the glowing green goo covering the rock. The creature then let out a pitiful yell.
"What a world...!"
The thing remained motionless, now just a brain-shaped rock with green goo puddling beneath it. Derpy went closer to it, to see what had happened, when the goo suddenly snapped back into position, only now it was pink. As Derpy stepped back, a familiar mane style showed up in the goo as two eyes opened on the front.
"Oooh! This is so cool!"
"Pinkie! Is that you?" Derpy asked, in awe.
"Yeppers! I guess my brain was too spicy for that poor... thing... you tried to feed me to!"
Derpy sheepishly looked at the ground. "I'm sorry, Pinkie." Suddenly, her demeanor flipped. "Can I do anything to make up for it?"
"Hmm... Well, now that you mention it..."
Pinkie seems to think for a while, before her eyes snap open in realization.
"Oooh! Could you bring me some of those brains?"
