The unexpected love life of Polkasteria Rofeeno Reganavich.
This is the worst thing a have ever written, Everything from the grammer to the story to the diologue to the... well everything is terrible. I did this in 60 minuites with no planning or anything before hand, I came up with it on the spot... and that really shows :3
Before reading this very detailed and sophisticated story please note that you should not read if your are... 1.Pregnant. 2.Under the influence of drugs/alcahol. 3.Can't take a joke. 4. a Supporter of rape. 5.can't handle blood or gory things... eg.'Getting your fingues cut off one by one and you lay on the floor twitching as blood spirts violently from your begging corpse.' 6. a gramma nazi. 7. a republican. 8.English 9.French 10.American or Murikan' or how ever it is you yanks pronounce it over their. 11.a person with heart problems. 12.blind 13.death 14.an ass hole. 15.a mod... 16.a girl 17.a boy 18.a pervert. OK, if you don't fall into any of these catagories den' you should be fine KK'?!
As the sun lit up the horizen and covered the plain, A lone stallion stood on a hill looking up into the distance and then down at the water watching as it sparkled under the morning sun. The stallion was battle beaten and scared across the face, he had a socialistic symbol across his bandana... After a few minuites the pony spoke outloud to no one in perticular but as if he was narating this book like a film.
“As one great pony once said... 'to make a group of men run at something scary, you have to put something even scarier behind them.'” The pony's voice was rough as if he had smoked 30 cigars a day since childhood and a thick congested sound lingured at the back of his throat after he finished each sentence. “This is the life and death of the great communist pony nation run from the red fortress of Staliongrad.”
“Once upon a time deep within the heart of the great bustleing city of canterlot lived a newly wedded working class couple, as prices of commodities and facilities became higher the Reganavich family could not aford to keep their first born son so they sold him into the black market. The colt was taken from his parents and condemmed to a life of labour. Every day the capotilist imperialist slave drivers would whip the poor colt and dive him to insanity, every night the colt weeped in his holding cell dreaming of freedom, food and water.” The stallion sat down on the grass and continued now much more relaxed than as he started. “My name is Polkasteria Rofeeno Reganavich and ever since I vas' a young colt I have alvass' vanted' to ve' a stand up comidian!” The pony turned to face the crowd of thousands that had gathered to see him preform, every pony was talking about Polka the comedian! The best comedian in the world!.
The crowd was blown away as Polka Swept the stage clean with his badazaling jokes about cancer! Aids and other really really really funny topics! Every so often Polka would do a backflip before telling another joke. The ponies clapped in astonishment as his hooves left contact with the stage and touched again shortly after. “I was reading a book about Anti-Gravity! I couldn't put it down!” The ponies went into an uproar of laughter as the drums sounded to imply comedic effect. He let the ponies calm down before hitting them with another one. “What's whats black, white and read all over?... I recently decapitated penguin reading a news paper on steroides!” With this the world famous comedian decided to wrap up his show and go back stage. I posh looking Mare was waiting for him clapping in a pompus manner.
“Oh that show was simply devine, hopefully the rediculously high prices we charged to see your simple minded doo will help us to afford another diamond encrusted toaster. Umm yes, yes.”. However Polka grinned like an evil little stallion not listening to whatever she had just imposed. Polka jumped on this poor mare and preformed indescrible things to her until her liver packed in and she died. Unfortunetly she had eaten cheese the night before which made her very flatuent making the other ponies aware of this brutel event. A police pony by the name of Gaverkel Tubeskisten, trotted back stage to find the young mare DEAD!!! He gasped and followed the trail of blood out into the forrest,Where he found a stash of other bodies and stuff. Polka stood in the middle of a clearing looking over at the police pony. “Im Sorry Gaverkel” Polka shouted over the noise of the wind and seceret police helicopter as they flew by. “I have always loved you! And I want to be with you and have foals with you and stuff!!!” The police pony broke into tears and fell to his knees. “I have always felt the same way!!” He shouted back. As they ran to hold eachother in their hooves there was a terrible accident which involved an ambulance and a fishing boat... Long story short, Polkasteria Died of brain explodsion syndrome when he contracted it from the fisherman, and Gaverkel had all his limbs blown off making him just a torso and a head with a half working brain.
One day some scientist came around to his house n' injected him with this liquid thingy that turned him into a human! Unfortunetly humans were considered evil and all da' ponehs in the verld beat him to death with spoons. Hmmm well I have 12 minuites left.. what should I write... Well errr... So.... the moral to this story is that, capotolism / Free market aconomy is wrong and Socialism, trade unions, workers unions, universal health care and Communism is all in the YES!. So I hope you have enjoyed this story about Polkasteria Rofeeno Reganavich and umm recommend it to your friends n' stuff...
THE END.
