Droppin' Crates

by The Grey Pegasus

Rating: teen
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Pinkie Pie, Random, Crossover, Human, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 4727

AKA: Head's Up!, Air Mail, Scare Package, and even some Special Delivery

Causing rage and dropping K/Ds, one Care Package at a time.

Published 2012-11-16 07:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-16 07:20:01 UTC

Airdrops

Droppin' Crates
By: The Grey Pegasus

= Chapter 1-Shot =

Airdrops

DOMINATION
DERAIL

...

...

...

"Domination."

"Emergency Airdrop on the way!"

The notifications were spoken by an awesome sounding Russian voice, right after he had just spawned into the match as a Spetznaz, in the back of the map close to the C flag in the warehouse. He immediately started running towards the action, which was most likely at the B flag, currently held by the enemy. After all, the flag in the middle of the map was definitely where the majority of the people were, especially with the increased number of players in Ground War. Between them and Task Force 141, the score appeared to be a decent score of 99 to 108. Definitely not a difficult task to catch up and retake the score lead. He felt good, knowing that there was an extra man to assist in capturing the objective.

He decided to take a slightly more tactical route, heading for the small creek in the back to flank the B flag. By taking this, he could probably catch a couple of defenders near the low ground. He currently had on him a trusty M4A1 equipped with a silencer and a flashy, useful, and maybe cheap heartbeat sensor, and a silenced USP .45 as his secondary. He quickly aimed down his sights to take a look towards the objective–

"Twitcha-twitch!"

The strangely clear feminine came slightly from his left. Turning, he got to see a glimpse of a pink... pony? "What the he–"

... Before it switched to a third person view of him getting killed by a falling airdrop crate and three more landing from a friendly Emergency Airdrop. "What the fuck?!"

Respawning by C flag once again, he went towards the creek, hopefully to find a sign of that weird pink thing he barely got a glance at. He ran around a little bit, not even caring that the enemy still owned B flag. He wanted to know what the hell just happened.

"Securing A." "UAV online."

The awesome Russian voice reminded him that there was more important things to do instead of looking for some random glitch or whatever. It was quite late anyways. Maybe he was just getting sleepy.

He was running along the tracks, headed towards flag A. Might as well focus on the objective for now. After all, he didn't want to look like a useless idiot running around doing nothing.

There was a good number of the enemy around the area. He turned right, to the side of the gas station building, and entered the walled area around front.

"Enemy Airdrop incoming!"

A shot rang from above him, and his reflexes immediately got the sniper on the roof in his sights. A quick burst of fire and one kill later, he continued to walk around the walled area to continue clearing the vicinity.

"Frag out!"

Through his headphones, he heard a Task Force 141 soldier yell somewhere close off to his front left. Turning the corner around the building into the small alleyway, the two faced off each other–

"Twitcha-twitch! Twitcha-twitch!"

Neither pulled the trigger. "What... the... fuck..." the player said to himself. He was pretty sure the opposing player was saying the same exact thing. The held an unspoken agreement to cease fire to look behind them.

"It's a damn pink cartoon pony. Hey, isn't that from that My Little Pony show or whatever? What. The. Fu–"

He didn't even get to finish, as an enemy Care Package bounced and killed both players. The player couldn't even find any words for what he just experienced, and just let the Killcam play to give him some time to recover. He watched as an airdrop crate was dropped on its mark on top of the building where the sniper was, then bounce off the corner of the roof. After that, it just plowed into both the Spetznaz and Task Force 141 players, just standing there dumbly looking at this strange pink pony with a twitching tail.

"Man. These hacks are getting weird. At least a fresh new game is coming out in just a little bit..."

He respawned into the game once more. The player decided it'd be best to stay indoors for now, as at least there, airdrop crates couldn't get him. He decided to go clear out the building next to B, where many enemies were holed in. Near the outside of the building, an enemy appeared, but was quickly dispatched by his M4A1. Turning at the window, many blips appeared on his heartbeat sensor.

First of order was throwing a grenade through the window, with which he was rewarded with a double kill. "Alright! Now we're talkin'!" Going inside, two of his teammates were stuck down on the first floor, as the stairs were well guarded. He threw a flashbang into the stairwell, and quickly rushed in at the explosion, being rewarded with another kill.

One more showed up in the door frame and the player quickly switched to his pistol, as he forgot to reload his primary. Fortunately for him, his aim was good and trigger finger fast, allowing him a fifth kill.

"Predator Missile ready for launch, repeat Predator Missle ready for launch."

Deciding that it was getting too hot inside the building and not wanting to risk his current five killstreak, he exited the building, watching his back as he found a nice, safe area to use the controllable missile.

"Friendly Predator Missile inbound."

"Care Package on the way."

A couple moments later and only one kill accredited to the missile, he spotted two Task Force 141 soldiers heading toward their C flag. He ran towards them with the plan to intercept both and earn his Harrier Airstrike.

"Twitchy tail, twitchy tail!"

He heard the voice off to his right. "No. No! No, please no!" He looked around for somewhere to hide–

"FUCK! You've got to be kidding! Stupid freaking pony! Everytime that thing talks, I get killed by a crate! FUCK! I was on my Harrier!" As if added humiliation, this was his third death in a row attributed to a falling crate. And they were his only deaths so far. "Dammit! You know what? I quit this game!"

<<+>>

HAVANA
HARDCORE CAPTURE THE FLAG

...

"Hardcore Capture the Flag."

...

"Capture the objective."

By the time the last few riffs of the OP40 theme had faded away, the player had already ran right up to their own flag and planted a defensive claymore. He then ran straight along the street, instead of opting to turn directly right into the buildings next to him. His class was optimized for running, with the Lightweight/Marathon Pro combination. And because this was Hardcore, any weapon was deadly, so he opted for a silenced MP5K with Rapid Fire. All this simply because he wanted to win. It also allowed a very effective starting rush.

Turning into the hotel at the end of the street, he was greeted by the sight of two opposing players. With his quick reaction time, he didn't even bother to aim down the sights first, as the high rate of fire would easily make up for accuracy with the low health that came with the game mode. It ended as expected. With two kills to his score, he kept on running to the alleyway.

He was unrivaled the rest of the way, and as soon as he got to the doorway facing the Troopa flag, the player threw out a smoke grenade as cover. He quickly stepped out and back in, in case a claymore was set as protection. He was rewarded by the adjacent car exploding. With the remaining smoke screen, the runner immediately went out and turned tail to go back the same way.

"We've taken the enemy flag."

With the voice notification, the player's confidence increased, and ran back with his infinite sprint. He knew the enemy would be on to him, and no doubt the ones in the field would even be moving in to intercept. The flag runner decided it'd be best to take the back alley behind the large hotel, and on his way, encountered yet another opposing player, and again, dispatched him with ease.

"Spy plane ready for deployment."

Playing smart, he decided to save it in case the flag was taken and the enemy runner could be visible on radar. When he got close to the home flag, he noticed two of his teammates in the midst of a gunfight with an unknown number of enemies inside a building. Unfortunately, the runner was also spotted and a few bullets flew his way, one snagging him just before he reached the safety inside a building.

The player, to say the least, was now breathing in relief that he had made it out of that alive. Now, however, he had to deal with the imminent threats. He peaked out the door to throw a semtex grenade, hoping to get lucky. No luck. He repositioned himself towards the back corner of their spawn area to get a better angle at where the enemy might be seen.

Seeing the enemy shooting from behind a door frame, the flag carrier pulled the trigger. However, the kick of full automatic fire caused the sights to bounce around and was not able to score a hit. Switching to an M1911 with Extended Mags, he advanced towards the opposing player. It was stupid and reckless, but what the heck. The enemy moved in front of the doorway, and fired a few preemptive shots. However, none of them hit, as the first bullet from the measly-but-actually-awesome pistol of the flag carrier found its mark, bringing up his tally to four.

The threats now taken care of, he turned back towards the flag and captured it.

"We've captured the enemy flag."

The task accomplished, the player started his path towards the opposing flag once again. Then, an explosion rang from behind.

"Care Package ready for delivery, mark the DZ."

It had seemed that people still somehow fell for the defensive claymore trick, which had somehow survived the previous gunfight. The happy flag runner looked back at his team's flag, safe and still standing in its rightful place. Turning away once again, he–

"Dammit." ... Got killed by an enemy that had just appeared. And lucky him, the respawn wait time was 15 seconds.

"Our flag has been taken."

Sighing, he could only hope that his teammates were able to catch the one that escaped with their precious flag.

He spawned back into the game in the back alley behind the hotel after the long 15 seconds, and–

"Fucking spawns!" ... Was just spawn killed because of the amazing placement of his spawn point. Another 10 second wait in front of him, he was getting frustrated.

After the annoying 10 seconds were over, he decided to throw down that Care Package in their spawn area in which he spawned back in, just to be able to access the spy plane he had left in his pocket.

"Friendly Care Package inbound."

"Our Spy Plane is in the air."

No luck. As expected, they had Ghost equipped, blocking them from being sensed on radar. Oh well, maybe the Care Package would give him something useful.

"Heads Up!"

"Our flag has been dropped."

His team's mics bursted in amazement, and his would have too, if he used one. "Now how the hell did that happen?" It had just said he had killed an enemy player, and the kill feed to the bottom left confirmed it. And the kill feed said it was a care package. And the notification of the "Heads Up!" challenge completion definitely meant it did.

"How the hell... No one shoots down Care Packages in this game since it takes forever to lock on, and there's no SAM turrets on the field yet. How. The. Hell... Whatever, I guess it was a pretty useful Care Package after all."

<<+>>

The match had ended somewhat quickly. The opposing team put up a respectable fight, but not enough to match his team. Still the matter of his epic care package drop flag carrier kill was a matter too important to forget. He would have to go over and watch it in Theater mode.

After a quick fast–forward when the match replay loaded, he put his controller over to his side and just stared at the screen. He couldn't even say anything about it. Even after rewinding the segment over and over, it was still incomprehensible.

Right there on the replay was a blonde-maned grey pegasus, struggling to carry a large Care Package crate. Just as she flew near the enemy flag, it slipped out of her hooves. It quickly fell due to its weight, and all she could do was give a shocked expression that seemed to say "Oops."

"I had Ditzy... Derpy was in... How... Whaaat... That's it, I'm getting off. I want my sanity intact. This game starting to get hacked or something? *Sigh* Just one more day... one more day... And that Sentry Gun might've been useful."

<<+>>

DROP ZONE
DOME

...

...

"Delta, you are cleared to engage."

It was Drop Zone on Dome, the most fast-paced map to play on. At the end of the cool spawn music and the small tidbit of info from Overlord, most of the people on Delta split right to outside the building with one or two splitting left. The ones that went right threw preemptive grenades and semtexes towards the general direction of the enemy. Already, the first drop zone was ablaze with gunfire between Delta Force and the Spetznaz. Each side fought valiantly, and they would probably be throwing insults at each other if the chat system let them. It was a test of skill, strategy, luck, and internet speed.

"Care Package on the way."

Luckily for the Delta players, one of their players was able to keep the enemy at bay. Pretty good for the center drop zone, where fire was tunneled into a small strip of land of near-instant death in the forms of explosions and hitscan projectiles. With their one man on the position, they were slowly able to slowly push back attacks.

"Hey. What'cha lookin' at the sky for? Not like one's gonna drop on you if you stay out of the smoke," one player asked his teammate. He then shot a Spetznaz player coming around the back corner near the truck trailer.

"Nothin'... Just somethin' from earlier..." the second one replied.

"Get killed by a Care Package?"

"No, I got a random crate kill," the second one said as he took down yet another assaulting enemy.

"Awesome!"

"Yeah..."

The match continued, and the tides of the match shifted every time the drop zone changed. Sometimes it would be in the Spetznaz team's control, and other times, the Delta Force would be victorious. And most often were the times in which neither of them were able to hold it.

"Hey hey! I got this drop zone!" a Delta player called out to his teammates at arrival at the point next to the back of the radar dome.

"Friendly Care Package inbound."

Just as the deep voice of Overlord notified them, an enemy Spetznaz came firing down the side alley coming from the building. The Delta hid behind the small concrete structure in the back corner, waiting for the right moment to attack.

He popped out of cover... only to watch an airdrop crate land on his enemy's head. He then turned almost 90º to the right to look at the red smoke marker... then looked up. Searching the sky, he found what he was looking for.

"Guys... you might want to watch your heads when you come near the drop zone..."

"Why? Not like a care package is gonna drop on our head as long as we don't stand two feet away from the smoke."

"Friendly Care Package on the way."

The first player there proceeded to capture his Care Package, which contained an IMS. "Just... watch your head."

"Alright then... whatever."

He placed the IMS down, preventing enemy players from simply marching in and taking this point from their grasp. It was fairly important, as they had just caught up in to the score lead. The player then went straight to the small piece of metal cover in the back a little ways off from the exit of the dome–

Then got killed by suicide by Care Package as the kill feed indicated. "Aww... whoops." Watching the Killcam, he was somewhat surprised it wasn't a certain grey pegasus. "Pure stupidity. I can live with that. Better than Derpy somehow appearing randomly and conking us on the head with deliveries..."

"Care Package on the way."

He quickly spawned back in, and found most of the lobby's worth of players duking it out at the drop point. Somewhat greedy, he started running for the Care Package he was not able to retrieve moments before. Reaper AGMs were very cool Care Package rewards. Surprised it was still there, he ran for it, then went down to prone, using the near-indestructible airdrop crate as cover from enemy fire–

Only to go to a third-person view of him getting crushed by another airdrop. "Man, I can't believe I did that."

"I thought you said watch your head."

"Yeah, yeah... If only we had twitching tails to tell us when something was dropping."

"...What?"

"Nothin'..."

Once he spawned back in once more, he headed towards the Reaper crate and the other crate which held a simple UAV Recon. As the area of focus was now on the final point, which had returned to the center death alley, he didn't have to worry about any airdrops being plunked on his head.

"Our AGM is online."

"Friendly Care package inbound."

The player looked through the screen of the Reaper drone control laptop. He ot one shot off and pointed towards the alley of death before lock-on warnings sounded. The flares fired, diverting tge missile. However, a sight below diverted the player's attention.

"What the... My god, that is Ditzy carrying a Care Package!" Through the Reaper camera, he watched another package slip from her hooves, falling on top of one of the Delta Force players.

"What the heck?! I wasn't even that close to the smoke!"

"Eh... You won't believe it even if I tried explaining," the player with the Reaper said. Unfortunately, the missile drone was shot down, and he was back on the ground.

"Yeah, well I'm not believing that Derpy's on my Killcam either."

"You pissed about it or honored to get hit by a Ditzy-dropped box?"

"Hmm... Good question..."

"How 'bout a virtual brohoof?"

"I'll take that."

The player had now arrived back at the center of action. He saw the crate that Ditzy had dropped on one of his teammates–it was black and had skulls on it. "Airdrop Trap... Nice!"

He hid down away from sight behind a corner, watching as two enemies tried to capture the booby-trapped crate, and a third providing cover fire. The Airdrop Trap exploded and killed all three in its radius... with confetti exploding outwards from the blast as well.

"The hell?..."

"Hi everyone! Did I hear someone call for my twitchy tail? Because it hasn't stopped in a while," said the pink pony standing where the Airdrop Trap once was.

"HOLY SHIT, IT'S PINKIE PIE!!"

"WHAT?! HOW?!"

"HOLY SHIT, IT'S GAY PONY FAGGOTS!!"

"Objective almost complete, keep it up."

"Enemy Care Package incoming."

"Yeah well you can shut up because I don't care!"

"Pinkie Pie?" a new voice spoke. "What in Celestia's name are you doing here?"

"Holy shit, a girl's playing Call of Duty?!"

"Geez, just keep on talking asshole."

"Friendly Care Package inbound."

"Yeah well I didn't ask for all this stupid shit!"

"Time's almost up!"

"He never asked for this." A couple snickers. "Look, game's almost done. Let's finish it and win already."

Pinkie Pie perked up. "Ooh! Ooh! Twitchy tail, twitchy tail!"

Three Deltas and two Spetznaz turned tail and immediately cleared the vicinty of the alleyway.

"Enemy Care Package incoming."

A greedy Spetznaz was in the alleyway, capturing crates mostly unhindered. The few Delta Force players remaining could not take the point. It was the final countdown.

Everone watched as the last Care Package fell, marked with a Delta emblem. It found its mark on the head of the Spetznaz soldier. An emblem of an Attack Drone appeared above the box–

"Mission accomplished, good work."

The Killcam played. Everyone in the lobby was treated to a grey cartoon pegasus struggling to carry the crate containing the Attack Drone, a pink pony running around with a twitchy tail, and the final kill with a Care Package.

"Hmm... "Droppin' Crates". Not bad."

"Oh, was it you?!"

"Oh yes!–"

<<+>>

The player lobby waited as the game loaded and returned to the lobby.

"–I've got a new emblem thanks to you!"

"Just go back to the kitchen already!"

"Dude, I told you to scram when she does that twitch thing. I mean, it happened to me three fucking times on Modern Warfare 2 earlier! How the hell does that happen?!"

"I don't fucking care!"

"You're just sore because you got beaten by a girl, ain't'cha?"

"Shut up!"

"Hey, hey, treat the lady some respect. She ain't the top person in the lobby for nothing."

Suddenly, the pink pony appeared to all the players behind the map selections. "Ooh! Ooh! Pick Terminal! That's a fun map! Lockdown is booorriinngg."

"Oh my god, it's Pinkie Pie!"

"Pinkie Pie! What are you doing here?!"

"Oh hey Princess Luna, is that you?!" the pink pony greeted her.

"Holy shit, I knew that voice was familiar!"

"You guys are all fags!"

"At least we have a life!"

"Luna, is that really you?" a player asked.

"Does the name 'NightmreLUNAtic' not give it away?" she responded.

"Awesome!"

Pinkie started waving from the bottom of the screen once more. "Princess Luna! Look! Ditzy's here too!" She pulled down Ditzy from behind the list of players in the lobby.

Four of the lobby erupted in cheering of sorts, three groaned or cursed, and four just didn't do anything. And Luna sat there as well.

"Hey! It's that stupid pony that dropped the Care Package on me! Hey–"

"Don't you say that to Derpy!"

"Hey,those Assault Drone things are heavy, okay?" Ditzy angrily protested.

"Yeah, fuck off asshole!"

The lobby went up in a verbal war for five seconds, before Luna somehow broadcasted the Royal Canterlot Voice through her mic with the fury of any enraged gamer, and also somehow managing not to break anyone's speakers, headsets, or eardrums in the process.

"QUIET!!" ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT. UP!!"

The lobby immediately went quiet.

"I'm leaving, and any of you fine bronies that I've encountered that would like to join me, do so."

Once in her own lobby, away from others, Luna was able to talk to her two subjects. "Pinkie Pie, Ditzy Doo–how are you here and why must you disturb my marathon?"

"Well I think Twilight was practicing a teleportation spell to teleport things, when I showed up and said hi!" Pinkie answered.

"And Miss Doo?"

"I was just walking along and passed by on my mail run," the grey pegasus answered.

"Just... walking?"

"Yeah, what else could I have done?"

"Well I hear you're the clumsy type..."

"That was a temporary bout of slight insanity!" Ditzy protested. "I'm not as clumsy as others make me sound!"

"Alright, alright... but that doesn't change the fact that you're ruining my night!" Luna complained.

Just then, a player joined the lobby. "Hey Princess Luna! Whoa, and it's Pinkie Pie again!"

"Hi!" the pink mare greeted cheerfully.

"So what are we gonna do, Luna?"

"Hmm... I have an idea," she said with a devious grin. "Get all your brony friends with Modern Warfare 2. I'm gonna host a fun private lobby."

"What about me and Ditzy?" Pinkie asked.

"Oh, you're coming with us."

<<+>>

TEAM DEATHMATCH
RUST

There was a full lobby of twelve on the small Modern Warfare 2 map Rust. And they all loved ponies.

"Wait, so let me get this straight–'NightmreLUNAtic' is Princess Luna?"

"Yes, that's me!"

"Whoa!"

"So what are we gonna do now? Have one of those fun "one thousand x" games?"

Luna had a sinister grin behind her mic. "Exactly."

"Sounds like fun!" Pinkie said as she bounced around in front of the players, who, despite being overjoyed, were still trying to come to terms with what was happening.

"Yes... Let's get started, shall we?"

<<+>>

"Emergency Airdrop on the way!" "Enemy Emergency Airdrop incoming!" "Emergency Airdrop on the way!" "Emergency Airdrop on the way!" "Enemy Emergency Airdrop incoming!" "Care Package on the way." "Care Package on the way." "Enemy Emergency Airdrop incoming!" "Enemy Airdrop incoming!" "Emergency Airdrop on the way!" "Enemy Airdrop incoming!" "Friendly Care Package inbound." "Enemy Airdrop incoming!" "Emegency Airdrop on the way!" "Enemy Emergency Airdrop incoming! " "Enemy Emergency Airdrop incoming!" "Emergency Airdrop on the way!"...

"Aahh! Make it stop! I can't feel my tail anymore!" Pinkie Pie, to say the least, was going crazy down on the ground while the players stayed safe on the oil rig. They sure were having a good time laughing it out.

"Hey Luna."

"Yes?"

"Are you getting Black Ops 2? ... Wait, can you even explain how you're here?"

"Dimension-crossing spells are difficult, but they exist. As for right now, it was only a matter of hooking up my internet to that spell."

"Cool."

"And yes, I will travel to your dimension later tonight when the release they game. I already beat Halo 4 and Assassin's Creed 3."

"What?! But they came out just in the past two weeks! How and when do you do this stuff?!"

"I'm an alicorn. We don't need sleep if we choose not to. So I just stay awake during the day when Celestia's court is in session and I don't have to work."

"So it's daytime there right now?"

"I can't feel my tail anymore!"

"No, I took this night off."

"Where do you even get the money to buy all that?"

"Hellooo... Princess of Equestria? All powerful alicorn? We can access the treasury anytime we'd like. Depending on how you look at it, all of it is my sister's and mine. We just don't tell that to our subjects."

"So how much do you actually spend from that?"

"Not too much. It's not like we don't already have what we need. Oh–and Steam sales help save money too."

"... Oookaay then."

The players were throwing their last few airdrop markers from the high metal structure. On the ground, Pinkie Pie was rolling around on the ground, tail still twitching.

"Ow! Who threw that at me?" Pinkie yelled. "And my tail's numb!"

"Whoops. Sorry."

"Hey... Don't throw airdrop markers at Pinkie..."

"My bad..."

..."Emergency Airdrop on the way!" "Emergency Airdrop on the way!" "Enemy Emergency Airdrop incoming!" "Enemy Airdrop incoming!" "Care Package on the way!" "Enemy Emergency Airdrop incoming" "Emergency Airdrop on the way!"...

"Anyways, I'll be in your world for a little bit later, after I convert some currency. You would not believe the exchange rate from bits to dollars... Also, it's very funny seeing the reactions of people when I come."

"Why haven't we heard of you visiting then?"

"Oh, I wipe their minds before I leave."

"... Are you going to wipe ours?"

"Please say no."

"There's no need. If you tell people about it, they'll just call you insane or something."

"..."

"So are you taking tomorrow night off as well?"

"Perhaps," Luna replied. "I'm sure Tia wouldn't mind just one more night off."

"I wish I didn't need sleep..."

"Luna! Tell us more about Season 3!"

"Hahaha!–No."

"Aww..."

The sky was still buzzing with a multitude of Little Birds and C-130s bringing deliveries.

"Hey. Where's Derpy?" the player next to Luna on the rig asked. "Wasn't she here ear–"

He stopped talking as an airdrop crate and grey pegasus landed right on his head, with three other crates bouncing to the ground.

"... Dammit." The lobby laughed at his predicament.

Ditzy proceeded to just flop down in an exhausted heap.

"Special *pant* delivery!...."