What We Become

Why? Why didn't I see this coming?

Gaige had made it to the outskirts of the town. He was already exhausted from carrying his pack stuffed with food. He knew he didn't have much time before the ponies all realized that he was long gone from the town centre and began fanning out to search for him. He pushed himself as hard as he could up the long winding road to the cottage where he had been taken to when he first arrived in this strange land. He turned back momentarily and could see the faint light of lanterns bobbing up and down frantically as what must have been the entire town's population searched every nook and cranny of the town in vain. The gun! Focus on getting the gun!, Gaige started back up towards the cottage as fast as he could move. He was sweating through his clothes and his legs had begun to cramp up. He knew he didn't have much fight in him, if he got caught, he would be an easy target.

Gaige burst through the door of the small cottage and landed on his chest with a mighty crash. He lay on the floor gasping for breath and clutching his gut for a few seconds before he mightily hauled himself up on a nearby dresser, which creaked in protest. As he got to his feet, he stumbled forwards into what must have been the living room. There it is!, Gaige's precious six-shooter was sitting right out in the open on a tiny coffee table. Gaige hobbled over and snatched his revolver up. The gunmetal felt so cold and soothing on his rough palms. His hand instinctively molded to the grip and he felt as if he had been reunited with an old friend. This revolver had seen as much as he had, he had found pretty much the day after the Event and never let it leave his sights. Good to have you back, you old son of a bitch. He proceeded to check how many rounds he had left, there weren't many. There were still four bullets in the gun, same as he had left it. That's three dead ponies, plus the four I could kill with my bow and one bullet for me, this isn't enough. Hopefully I have more in my bag somewhere. He loaded the gun and holstered it at his side.

Gaige heard a soft scuffling behind him and slowly turned around to face whoever, or whatever it was that was bold enough to approach him alone. He raised his gun and scanned his surroundings briefly. “Oh not you again!”, Gaige hissed. It was the white rabbit who had nearly cost him his life when he first arrived in this world. The rabbit stood at the doorway to the room Gaige had entered, his arms crossed and his face contorted in a angry scowl. Gaige figured there wasn't much he could do to him now, the house was basically abandoned. So he ignored the miniscule angry rabbit and set out for the door.

As Gaige walked towards the door he could feel something hard hit the back of his head. He stopped and stood where he was and bunched up his knuckles. Ignore it Gaige, this little shit isn't worth your time, he then felt a much larger object strike the back of his head with even greater force than the first one, Alright...that's fucking it!

* * *

Fluttershy rushed downstairs to find the source of the scuffle that had awoken her. As she reached the first floor of her cottage a terrifying sight bestowed her, the monkey monster, the one who had terrorized the entire town, was in her house chasing Angel around the living room and swinging a small blade around wildly.  “Get the fuck back here! I will fucking end you!”, bellowed the monster in it's gruff and horrifyingly loud voice. Fluttershy couldn't help but let out a small yelp of surprise.

Fluttershy was frozen in fear. She didn't know what to do. Part of her mind told her to jump into action to save Angel from the monster, but another part of her mind told her to flee as fast as she could. The monster continued to fumble about in the dark, cursing and thrashing at its' prey in a frenzy of anger, snarling and growling with each wild stab in the dark. She knew she was powerless against this monster, if it attacked her there would be nothing she could do to defend herself. So she sat there, frozen in time, watching the morbid game of cat and mouse Angel and the monster were playing.

Fluttershy suddenly thought of one thing she could do. The option was her last resort, but she figured now was a better time than any to use it. So widened her eyes and put on an infuriated expression. She was going to have to use her final option, she was going to have to use the stare. She stomped her hoof a single time and yelled out “Hey!”, as angrily as she could make it sound. The monster suddenly whipped around with a loud grunt and it made the mistake every creature always made. Its' horrible shining orange gaze met her own and its' body locked in place. She could almost smell its' terror as she began delving deep into its' psyche with her piercing stare.

* * *

Fluttershy was overwhelmed at first with the emotions that were emanating from this creature. As her mind flooded with its' memories she could see exactly what it had seen and felt everything it had ever felt. She was bombarded with visions of pestilence, death, devastation, suffering and hopelessness. Those visions came merged with feelings of regret, hatred, melancholy and rage. The intensity and sheer amounts of sentimentality emanating from deep within the creature's cortex were making Fluttershy's head spin. She was unable to focus properly and soon became woozy, almost to the point where her dinner was attempting to make an unannounced reappearance, much to her chagrin. She could see darkness creeping into the edges of her vision as she began to break out in a cold sweat. She could feel the creature trying to resist the stare. She had never encountered anything with the ability to actively resist her stare, nor had she prepared to face one that could do so.  the monster's voice could be heard clearly inside in her head.

“Get out!”, Fluttershy's head began to feel like it was being slowly impounded on either side. A searing pain shot through the front of her head, nearly leading her to lose her focus.

I can't lose it, not now, and with that she put all focused as hard as she could on continuing to break into the monster's memories. Every ounce of energy she had left in her went towards breaking the creature's mental lock. She could hear its' scream echoing in her head and with that she forced her way inside of its' memories. Her vision went completely dark and flashed momentarily. This hasn't ever happened before, She thought to herself as her eyes were suddenly assaulted by daylight and ash.  As her vision returned and her eyes re-focused to her strange new surroundings she noticed that the world around her was now as grey as stone. The cloud cover was thick and dark and ash could be seen blowing lazily in the wind. The countryside around her was in shambles, charred and ruined she couldn't make out a single living soul. All that she could see were fires in the distance and a dead forest. Where am I?

Fluttershy heard the light crunch of somepony walking behind her and she froze up in fear of what it may be. After about a minute of petrification, she decided that whatever it was she heard must not have been dangerous and slowly turned around to face what was behind her. A gruesome sight awaited her. The monster stood solemnly next to a rectangular hole in the ground, slowly and deliberately shovelling dirt into it. She looked a little closer and noticed a small wooden cross. It was a grave that it was filling in. Only she didn't have to look to far to realize that that wasn't the only grave, there were at least ten and they all looked fresh. Fluttershy was speechless. Never in her life had she seen so much death. Did the monster do all of this?, she asked herself. It couldn't have, surely there was nothing that could be so cruel...Was there?

Fluttershy's train of thought was interrupted by the sound of something else approaching her and as she whipped around to face it she realized that it was another monkey monster. This one was clad in thick raggedy clothes and was covered from head to toe in dirt. The monster stroked its' long greasy mane with one of its' paws as it drew closer to Fluttershy. It was a light brown and had an unkempt beard that dominated its' muzzle. Its' large, chocolate coloured eyes could almost trick somepony into believing it was friendly and innocent.The monster seemed to pay no heed to the fact that it was walking directly towards her and seemed to almost be looking through her, as if she wasn't even there. Despite all that, Flutteshy was still utterly horrified as she stood trembling now standing only mere inches from the monster. As the monster drew closer to her she closed her eyes and silently prayed that it wouldn't hurt her as she tensed up, anticipating the monster to strike at any moment. Only the strike never came, she opened her eyes and realized the monster had passed right though her.

“Gaige, don't you think you've done enough for today? Here, go get some rest and I'll take over for you ok?”, the other monster put a hand on his companions shoulder.

Gaige...that must be its' name. Fluttershy also assumed by his physique and his voice that he was the monster equivalent of a stallion.

Gaige didn't seem to acknowledge the other monster behind him. He just continued to stare blankly at makeshift wooden grave markers. After a long, somber silence, Gaige removed his helmet and turned to the other monster. “Maybe Carol was right...I can't protect anyone.”, Gaige's eyes were red and irritated. His eye sockets were sunken and dark, he looked like he was severely sleep deprived.

“ Don't you listen to that bitch Gaige! You've gotten us through more than we could have ever hoped to get through alone!”, the other monster sounded frustrated by Gaige's remark.

“But at what cost? We just lost a whole quarter of our group today. What does it matter how far I get the group if we're all gonna die like this anyways! I don't think I'm strong enough to keep doing this. I won't last much longer.”, Gaige never even turned to look at his comrade, he just continued staring at the field of graves with a blank expression, but his melancholic tone of voice defied his indifferent expression.

“Gaige you can't talk like that. You've got a kid to take care of now for god's sake! You can't just give up! Carson needs you! We all need you! Fuck's sake man get it together! This isn't the time to be selfish.”, the other monster scolded. Yet Gaige still stood silently staring ahead, failing to fully agknowledge his comrade. The other monster let out a heavy sigh, “Look...just come back to camp. Its' getting dark and it's not safe here at night. We're not losing anyone else today.”, and with that the other monster started off back towards Fluttershy, passing through her once again on his way back to his camp. Gaige remained still, in a sort of vigil by the graves.

Fluttershy was on the brink of tears. She didn't know how Gaige could continue functioning after seeing that many of his friends die in front of him. Maybe this pushed him over the edge?, she asked herself. Though she still bore contempt towards him as this still did not justify Gaige's own cruelty and terrorization of the innocent denizens of Ponyville. She felt the need to search for why he had been so cruel and violent to everypony, but she was too preoccupied with observing the tragedy of this new world she was in.

As Fluttershy looked around more and more she began to realize that this was not just an average cloudy fall night. The landscape around here bore scars of past fires and explosions for as far as she could perceive. There's was nothing she could see that was alive, save Gaige. The place where she stood overlooked what must have been a city. Only it was now in ruins, with wrecked machinery and litter as its' only inhabitants. The only light she could perceive against the harsh ashen dusk was that of the fires that blazed fiercely throughout parts of the former city. There wasn't even any sunlight that penetrated the thick dark grey clouds that covered the sky as far as she could see. This was a veritable wasteland. What happened here?

After a long while of staring into the abyss that was the world that surrounded her, Fluttershy noticed a small silhouette moving in the darkness towards Gaige. As she looked a little closer she realized it was a much smaller monster. The little monster silently approached Gaige and stood next to him. Gaige reached over and patted the little monster on the head as he said something inaudible to her Fluttershy dared move closer to get a better look at the two strange creatures. The little monster looked to be like the monster equivalent of a small colt. Fragile and innocent. His soft, terribly thin face covered in patches of dirt and grime. His bright blue eyes seemed like the last bastion of innocence in this desolation. He had a gaze that could pierce you heart. “Gaige, are we going in there tomorrow?”, the little monster asked, pointing at the ruined city.

“Yes, we have to. We need to find food and this is our best bet.”

“Are we starving yet Gaige?”

“Yes, but it takes a long time to die from starvation. We'll find something before then, I promise you.”

“But that  means we have to go in there. I don't  want to go in there, what if there are more bad men?”

“There's no one in there Carson...”

So the little one's name is Carson, what an odd name, Fluttershy thought to herself.

“How do you know?”

“Because...we killed them all”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”, Gaige asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing, just okay.” and with that the two continued to stare out toward the ruins that lay ahead of them. Suddenly, the ground began to vibrate and a terrible rumbling and crashing could be heard emanating from the city. Fluttershy watched as Gaige held onto a trembling and weeping Carson. Gaige stroked his hair as he held tightly onto him as he shushed him. As the rumbling came to a close and the ground stopped vibrating Gaige let go of Carson and said,

“Don't worry, that was only a building falling down. Pretty soon all the buildings in the world are going to fall...but not on us.”

“How do you know?”, asked a teary eyed Carson.

“I just do.”, Gaige replied reassuringly.

“Gaige...I just don't want anyone else to die”, Carson mumbled.

“You know I can't promise that. The city should be safe but I don't know anything for sure. Everybody dies Carson, that's just how it is.”

“Okay”, replied Carson. The two stood there silently for a long while. Fluttershy couldn't bear to see Carson living under such circumstances. He was so small and innocent. He deserved better than this. Fluttershy could now see why Gaige was obviously a damaged creature. He came from a cruel world. Populated by cruel creatures. There was no way anypony could stay “normal” under such circumstances. Fluttershy thought that she had seen the worst that could happen to anyone in such a world. It wasn't until Carson spoke up for a second time that she realized that the world she was seeing, was much crueler than she had thought. “I miss my papa...”, Carson began sobbing as he flung himself onto Gaige in a tight, trembling embrace. Gaige just stood there, shocked by this sudden embrace and unsure of how to react to it. Eventually he returned the embrace and whispered to Carson.

“I know....I miss mine too.”, the pair stood there for a long time in each other's embrace.They were two shadows in the night beside the dying fire, each the other's world entire.

* * *

“Get the fuck out!”, Fluttershy could hear the monster's voice in her head once again. This time it was louder and angrier than before. Her head began spinning once more and she could see the memory in front of her was beginning to fade away as darkness began to engulf her vision once again. Fluttershy attempted to continue to hold the stare, but she was spent. She had no energy left to resist Gaige's psychological defences. With that, she broke the stare and stood swaying in a daze for a few seconds. She could hear Gaige screaming out obscenities as she watched him stumble about clutching his head in pain. Such a psychological invasion was not to be performed without repercussions. Fluttershy could barely stand up straight, let alone lift a hoof to defend herself should Gaige become hostile. She could only continue to stand there half consciously swaying in the darkness. As the pain from the psychological battle subsided Fluttershy noticed that Gaige was now fully lucid and approaching her while levelling a strange metal apparatus at her head.

“Not a word!”, he hissed, “Not a single fucking word! If I hear that any of this got out, I'll kill you...slowly! Do you understand?”, Fluttershy gulped and stood there staring wide eyed at Gaige. Terror seized her body once again as she began trembling uncontrollably. “I said...do you understand!”, Gaige whispered menacingly. Fluttershy gulped again and tried to hold down the lump that was forming in her throat.

“...Yes”, she managed to squeak out.

“Good”, and with that Gaige silently stalked out of her cottage and disappeared into the inky darkness.

* * *

Gaige stalked silently through the underbrush. If he made a noise he would be noticed and with the size of the search group that meandered about just mere metres away, he couldn't afford that. He had to stay focused and stay quiet. As his adrenaline began pumping he could feel his senses heightening. It was a feeling that was all too familiar for him. Years in the wasteland had honed his stealth capabilities to extreme levels. It was how he was used to operating. The shadows were his sanctuary and the battlefield was his canvas. He could manipulate it as he saw fit, and that's exactly what he planned to do.

Gaige peered out of the underbrush to assess the situation he was facing. The search group was comprised of three pegasi, ten regulars, five unicorns and what looked to be three armoured guards of some sort. Golden armour? These guys must be real special, Gaige thought to himself as he drew his makeshift bow from his back. Lucky them, they get to be the first to go, Gaige observed the group's movements for a short while longer. They were fairly spread out and the guards were all very far apart. Another error Gaige could exploit. They were almost making this too easy for him.

Gaige began silently circling around the group under the cover of darkness. He headed straight towards the closest guard. Who was performing a half assed visual check of the area around him. Gaige gracefully slid out of the bushes and slowly creeped up behind the guard. He had made the mistake of straying too far from the group and into the darkness. Now he was going to pay his due. Gaige crept up and slowly coiled his arm around the guards neck and constricted as hard as he could. The guard began struggling and making hoarse chocking noises. “Don't bother trying to scream, no ones going to hear you.”, Gaige whispered as he slowly dragged the struggling pony backwards. The pony's struggling became progressively weaker until it stopped completely. Gaige then slowly let go of the body in the bushes and made sure it wasn't visible to any ponies from the search party, hopefully he could take them out before they noticed.

Gaige loaded a stolen arrow into his crude bow and zeroed in on one of the other guards who happened to be directly in the centre of the group, he looked to be directing the group's efforts. Take out the leadership, and the rest falls apart. This fucker won't know what hit him. Gaige drew a bead on him, something stopped him from taking the shot right away. You don't need to kill him, just leave Gaige you don't have to do this, spoke a voice inside his head. He couldn't help but be surprised at this sudden development of a conscience. He hadn't had a moral dilemma like this since his first year in the wasteland. All he'd known was the process of action and reaction for the past four years. He did what he had to do to keep himself alive, there wasn't anything else to it. I have to do this, I have to end this now, he reassured himself. Can you really kill something so innocent, what did it even do to you?, he asked himself. After a short pause he pushed those thoughts to the back of his head. I'm killing him cause I have to, he told himself, It's gonna be as easy as one, he zeroed in on his target, two, he drew back his bowstring, three, he released the string and prayed the arrow would hit its' mark.