The Tumultuous Tribulations of Time Turner.

by midnighttowboy

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Doctor Whooves
Length: 3346

Time Turner is a clockmaker, one of the best, but a certain rumor seems to take over his whole life.

Time Turner is one of Equestrias finest timepiece makers.

If only that was what ponies knew him for.

Instead, a rumor started by a certain party pony leads to trouble, as Turner becomes thought of as an adventuring time traveler. As you can imagine, Turner is not happy about this.

Cover art used with permission from sircinnamon.

Published 2012-10-22 00:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-23 04:09:56 UTC

Chapter One

So, this my first story posted on here. If you notice anything that needs to be edited, be sure to let me know. And I sincerely hope you enjoy reading this story.

The Tumultuous Tribulations of Time Turner.

Clocks are magnificently complex things.

The gears, the springs, all the little nuts and bolts and screws that hold it in place; together they are so confusing. But, broken down into their base components, they were easy to understand.

If only the same could be said for ponies.

Time Turner held a screwdriver in his mouth, as he tightened up a recently fixed up watch. As he completed the necessary turns, he heard a satisfying click. He grinned with the tool in his teeth, and pushed the timepiece away with a hoof, preparing his work station for another repair. Before he could get started on that, however, a knock came at the door. Turner ran towards the door, and shakily opened it with his hooves, finding a unicorn in a brown hat and uniform, carrying with his magic a small tied up package. “Ah, I didn’t realize this was the Doctors residence. You don’t have to aim your sonic screwdriver at me; I’m just here to make a delivery.”

The deliverypony swore he could feel the area around him go dark and cold, as Time Turner stared into the stallions’ soul. His blood became ice in his veins, and his life flashed before his eyes. “okaywellhereisyourpackagebye.” He practically threw the box at Turner as he galloped as fast as he could away. Turner spat out the screwdriver, picked up the package, and slammed the door with his back legs.

Now, Time Turner wasn’t usually an angry pony. He generally considered himself a kind and caring citizen of Equestria for years.

Until the rumors spread.

About a year ago, Time Turner bumped into a purple unicorn mare on a trip to the market.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He quickly put down his groceries and helped her to her hooves. Her eyes whirled around in opposite directions for a moment, before she shook them back into place. “It’s no big deal, happens all the time.” She floated her bags, filled with untold amounts of quills and parchment, up into the air, before getting a good look at Turner. She gazed in concentration at him for a moment, making him feel incredibly uncomfortable.

“Um, can I help you, miss?”

“Oh, sorry. You just remind me of someone in a book I read.”

His curiosity peeked at that. “Who?”

“Oh, just some hero from a fantasy a friend gave me. He had this real ruffled hair, brown coat, even the Hourglass mark. If I didn’t know any better, I’d ask if you ever travelled in time.”

“Well, I don’t mean to brag, but…” After a moments pause, he started laughing. She soon accompanied him with her own chorus of chuckles. She turned away, but before leaving she gave him a wave and said “I guess I’ll see you later then, Doctor Whooves.”

A funny little incident with a cute mare, nothing out of the usual, Turner thought.

Until the next day, at Sugercube Corner, when a problem presented itself while Turner was buying some cookies for a party. As he walked to the counter, a bouncy pink puff ball crashed into him, as ecstatic and jumpy as a filly on Hearthswarming day.

“Hi there, Doctor. That’s strange; you never told me you were a doctor. I mean, why would you not tell me about that when I threw you a ‘welcome to ponyville’ party? Oh well, that just means I have to throw you a ‘sorry I didn’t know your real name but now I do’ party. Oooh, or we could go back in time, and have a ‘it’s so awesome that you’re a time traveler’ party! We could even get a past version of me, since the only thing better than a single Pinkie Pie Party is a DOUBLE Pinkie Pie Party! So how ‘bout it, huh, doc? Huh, huh, huh?”

Not a single breath was taken during that sentence, and Turner was worried the young mare might faint from lack of oxygen, but she just stood there shaking in anticipation, waiting for an answer.

“Uh, I’m not a time traveler. Or a doctor, for that matter.”

She scrunched her face in confusion. “Of course you are, silly. I mean, Twilight told me so, and why would Twilight lie? I mean, she’s the smartest unicorn in Ponyville, and she’d never lie to her best friend forever Pinkie.”

Turner took a breath on her behalf. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. If you mean that purple mare from the other day, I have to assume that was only a joke. She didn’t think I was really a time traveler.”

Pinkie scoffed. “You just made her think it was a joke, so she wouldn’t get kidnapped by your enemies, the Cyberponies! Or maybe the evil Dal-“

“Wait, the cyber what?” She either didn’t hear him over her own chatting, or ignored him, because she went on like that for a while. Eventually, Turner purchased his cookies and left.

Even though he had physically left Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie still talked about ‘Ponyville's own Time Traveler’ for days on end. The Cakes were no help, gossipy ponies that they were, and soon the entire town was talking about it. He wasn’t sure how much of it was just for fun, and how much of it was real belief in the idea. It didn’t matter though, because life for Time Turner became much harder.

A couple weeks later, he found a crowd of ponies gathered outside his shop, looking like they were waiting for something. He glanced out the window, almost squealing in delight. They must have heard about my appearance in Timekeepers Monthly. Finally, they recognize my talent!

He opened the door for the crowd, bowing to each pony as they came inside. “Welcome, welcome. I’m glad to see so many wonderful ponies here to look at my wares. Be sure to ask if you find a piece you like.”

The crowd stood in place inside his showroom, with a common look of confusion on each ponies face. One of them, a Green colored stallion who he assumed was the ringleader, walked towards him.

“What wares? What would a time traveler possibly sell?”

“Oh, maybe he sells objects he collects on his adventures.”

“Yeah! This could be the watch of… of… somepony famous, I’m sure!”

At this point Turner noticed the sound of careless hooves fondle and grope his inventory of watches, with several young colts playing inside a grandfather clock. Turner stamped a hoof to the ground, shaking the floor and gaining the unruly mobs attention.

“I am sorry to disappoint you all, but I’m afraid any rumors of my adventures are greatly exaggerated. I’m just a timepiece maker, although I might say a darn good one. Now, if you aren’t looking to purchase anything, I must ask you to leave.”

The crowd groaned collectively. As they started vacating the premises, an olive mare pulled a picture from a saddlebag. “What about this, huh? This is a picture of a painting in the Royal Art Museum in Canterlot, dated to be over five hundred years old. And yet, this pony looks exactly like you.” Turner, dumbfounded, brought his eyes closer to the picture for a moment. And, to be fair, the stallion in the painting looked a fair deal like Time turner, with the brown coat and blue eyes. However, one problem did arise, that Turner was quick to mention.

“That’s a painting of Charlemane.”

The mare stared at him like he just spoke gibberish. “Who?”

“You know, Charlemane. He ruled the kingdom of Prance, and helped defend Canterlot when some griffin tribes attacked, which won him great honor from Princess Celestia, and is why his painting would be in the Royal Art Museum.”

The Mare pondered this for a moment. “You know who would know so much about Charlemane?”

The crowd responded in a single voice. “A TIME TRAVELER!”

“Maybe he was Charlemane, going back in time to stop the griffins from taking over Equestria!”

There was no stopping them, and so Time Turner escorted the last of the stragglers out of his store, and closed the door, slumping behind it once he heard the knob click.
“BUCK!” He yelled fruitlessly at no one in particular.

Soon, no mare would look at him without giggling. He couldn’t go through the market without someone asking him about caveponies. He received a very stern letter from his mother asking why he had abandoned his family profession to be a doctor, and why didn’t he tell her about it, since now she could brag to the mares at her bridge club about his new job. He was even stalked occasionally by one of the local colts for their school newspaper, trying to nab a photo of the famous Doctor doing something adventurey or timey wimey. His reputation, more or less, was decimated. As can be expected from a stallion in his position, he became what a certain pink party pony might call a ‘grumpity grump pants’. He rarely left his house, and when he did, the ponies who bothered him soon fled his angry shouting and flailing and general grumpiness.

Time Turner didn’t think much about this, though, as he tossed his package onto an end table. The fact he stared down the mailpony was quickly forgotten as he went back to his work. The next thing on his to do list was a watch sent in by a canterlot noble. Very important, so Turner took special care to unlock the casing to get to the inner workings. He began removing some of the broken parts with little tweezers, trying hard not to break anything else. This was his element, the intricacies of clockwork, the turning of gears and the meshing of cogs and the winding of springs.

Serenity.

At least, until somepony thumped at the door. Turner jumped, the watch bouncing off the table and smashing onto the ground.

“OH, COME ON!” Turner practically flipped the table over; as he shot like a bullet to the door, slamming it so hard it almost flies off the hinges. “I don’t have any time for this! I’m not a doctor, I don’t travel in time, I don’t adventure with attractive mares, and I haven’t even been out of Equestria! LEAVE. ME. ALONE!”

The wall-eyed pegasus who sat in front of him looked shocked at him for a moment, before bursting into tears. Between her sobs, she managed to get out “J-j-just …. W-w-wanted… t-to give you a l-l-letter….”

Instantly, Turners rage dissipated, and a deep sense of guilt overtook it. “Oh my, I’m so sorry miss. I, I didn’t mean to get so angry. I…. I guess I thought you were someone else.” She doesn’t respond, and continued to weep on his stoop. Instinctively, he wrapped his hooves around her in an attempt to try and calm her, and despite his previous demeanor, she just embraced him, her tears dripping all over his coat.

As soon as she began to stop crying, Turner let go of her. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a flank. Please, come in; let me make you some tea. It’s the least I can do.” She sniffed and followed him into his house, taking a seat on a loveseat in his sitting room. As he prepped the stove, he yelled from the kitchen. “I’m Time Turner, by the way. What’s your name?”

“Ditzy Doo. But you can call me Derpy, a lot of people do.”

Turner poked his head from the kitchen. “Derpy? That seems like an odd nickname.”

Ditzy laughed. “It’s an affectionate name some of my co-workers called me, because of my eyes. It kind of spread across the town after a while.” Turner gave a slight chuckle at that.”I’ve been there, Ditzy, more so than I can really explain.”

“Is that why you were so angry at the door?”

Turner gulped in dread. “Yeah.” Ditzy didn’t say anything else while Turner finishes in the kitchen, but once he came outside, Ditzy gave him a curious look, one eyebrow raised. With a pained sigh, Turner explained the situation. Bumping into the unicorn, the pink mare spreading rumors, the mockery and stupidity, everything.
As soon as Turner finished, Ditzy began to laugh uproariously, falling off the loveseat and onto her back.

“I’m glad someone can find it amusing.” Turner turned a bright red as the mare guffawed. She tried to say something, but her bouts of uncontrollable laughter make her unintelligible. Turner gave an annoyed cough, and she took the hint, calming herself down. “Sorry. It’s just… that’s a pretty silly thing to be mad about.”

Turners’ eyes opened in shock, wondering if she heard his story at all. “What do you mean?! I’m a clockmaker, the best in Ponyville. Heck, one of the best in Equestria! I helped design the clocktower at town hall; I’ve built clocks for nobility, even foreign dignitaries. I’m the first watchmaker in my family that was an earth pony, and I had to learn how to build them without using magic, which is incredibly difficult, I might add. But do I get recognition for that? No! I get mocked, humiliated by my fellow citizens.”

He stopped to let that sink in, but Ditzy didn’t seem to be affected. “So? I mean, you still get offers for your stuff, right?”

“Well, for the most part, but that’s not-“

“And you still build some of the finest clocks and watches in Equestria, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t see how-“

“And you are still a smart and handsome stallion, are you not?”

Turner just gave her an awkward stare at that. “Handsome?”

Ditzy blushed in response. “That’s not the point. The point is who cares what people think? Ponies constantly think I’m some kind of clumsy weirdo because of my eyes and that for some reason I love muffins for no reason, but does it hinder my job or make life hard for me? No. If anything, it’s helped, since I get some free baked goods from Sugarcube Corner.” Ditzy smiled, her eyes turning about in opposite directions as she did so.

Turner rested his head on one of his hooves, and thought about what the mare had said. He hadn’t gotten a lot of business from Ponyville in a while, but he never really did. And he still got the orders from Canterlot regularly. Other than the weird jokes and rumors and occasional stalker, life hadn’t really gotten much harder for Turner. Maybe he overreacted.
“You might be right, Ditzy.”

“Besides, isn’t it kind of fun, having people thinking you’re some kind of time traveling hero?”

Turner smiled awkwardly. “Maybe a little. Although I haven’t had much control over it.”

Ditzy gave a wide grin. “Well, I had an idea that might help. Would you have such a problem with it if you were the one who controlled your own rumor mythology?”

“No, I guess not.”

“Then, if you go along with the rumors, but add your own twists, it becomes your own story, not someone else’s.”

Turner looked kind of confused, his ears falling down in concentration. “I’m not sure where you’re going with this.”

“Just go with it, dummy.” She bopped him lightly on the head to emphasize the point. “Make up your own stories, join in on the fun. If they aren’t going to stop believing in it, the least you can do is have fun making them believe silly things about you.”

Turner laughed at the idea, and shrugged. “Sure, why not. It’s not like I can hurt anything.”

“Good! Now, I was thinking, instead of being a time traveler, maybe you can be an ALIEN time traveler. See, you come from the planet Gallopfrey…”

About a month later, in Sugarcube Corner, an energetic group of fillies and an even more energetic pink pony sat around, the fillies at a table and discussed their cutie marks, and the mare waited for customers at the counter. In the corner, at a single table, Ditzy sat with a plate of sweets.

As the young crusaders decided on where they can find a lion for their latest idea, the doors at the entrance swung open, revealing a disheveled Time Turner. “Miss Hooves, Miss Hooves, come quickly!” He said in his best Trottingham accent. Ditzy leaped from her seat. “What is it, Doctor?”
“The Daleks, they’re trying to assassinate the princesses! We have to get to the TARDIS, come on!”

In a mad dash, the two galloped out of the bakery, gaining several odd looks from both the ponies inside and outside the building. Without stopping, they speeded out of sight. As soon as they could tell no one was watching, Ditzy and Turner stop, laughing while they caught their breath. “That was great! Did you see the look on their faces?”

Ditzy nodded. “And that accent, that was an interesting touch.”

Turner smirked mischievously. “I thought it’d add some class.”

“Well, I think it was great.” She started walking, giving Turner a bump with her flank. “Now, let’s go. Dinky should be leaving school soon, and she’s wanted to meet mamas’ new coltfriend for a while.”

Turner gave her a quick kiss before following. “I’m glad; I’ve wanted to see her, too. She sounds adorable from what you’ve told me.” The two walk off, chatting as they go.

Ah, the life of a Doctor and his Assistant.

---SPECIAL SECRET ENDING---

As Turner and Ditzy made their way towards Dinkys’ School, a blue mare watched from a distance, waiting until they were out of sight until she made her way to her destination. She marched deeper into the woods, until she found what she was looking for: a blue police box, a tad dusty but otherwise as pristine as always. Her mane blew in the wind as she inspected it. She had worried her troubles with the Cyberponies a while back would have caused more permanent damage, but all things considered she was probably just a little paranoid. This recent regeneration had left her feeling a lot more worried than she normally was, although since normally she wasn’t even a she, or a pony, it made sense.

The mare regretted having to hide like this, pretending to be someone else, but at least there was no suspicion on her since that brown stallion became the butt of several rumors. It was kind of mean, letting him become a laughing stock, but she knew he’d be able to handle it. Ponies were strong like that.

“Hey, Colgate!” The mare jumped at the sound, and ran to it, making sure they wouldn’t see her secret. After a couple moments of running, she saw who called her, a mint green unicorn. “Sorry to bother you, but what are you doing out in the woods?”

“Nothing, nothing, just taking a little walk. You still available for that appointment on Tuesday, Lyra?”

Lyra smiled. “Yeah, totally. See you there, Colgate.”

Colgate waved as Lyra left, probably to go find her roommate. As soon as she was out of sight, Colgate sighed in relief. She sat on her haunches, scratching her head with her hoof. That was close, although with Lyra she could have said that the TARDIS was a separate dental closet she kept for special tools, and the harpist would have believed her. This of course led to her imagining cleaning someponies teeth without hands, which always gave her a chuckle.

She looked at her hooves and smiled warmly. Talking ponies. Simply remarkable.

And there you have it. I got the idea after doing my collaboration for The Album, which you should go check out if you haven't yet, by the way.

So, any critiques, questions, vast amounts of praise? Be sure to let me know, since writing is pretty useless if others don't react to it.