--Chapter 11: Hero--

Rarity did not take Triage’s outstretched hoof. She allowed herself a moment to process what had just been said to her, and then got up on her own. She winced as she did so; putting weight on her injured forehooves was a bad idea.

“Look at her. Standing up on damaged hooves. Taking charity from no one. That’s a hell of an image,” Sapphire Shores said. “See, Hoity? I told you she was perfect.”

“I suppose she’ll do. She certainly casts an impressive figure. For a mare,” Hoity said.

“Will you stop talking about me as if I’m not standing right here?” Rarity said. “Triage, I appreciate you rescuing me, but I’m not in the mood for jokes.”

“This isn’t a joke, Rarity,” Triage said. “This was the whole reason I kept writing to you, agreed to help you and your sister…”

“…Which you failed to do,” Rarity said.

“The game’s just begun, honey,” Sapphire said. Her voice carried the melodic tone she usually used in her stage shows. “Don’t you worry, we’ll get your girl back.”

Rarity gave Sapphire a bored, unimpressed look. It was the polar opposite of Rarity’s reaction when she and the pop diva had first met.

“Well, I suppose it’s no surprise that you’re here. Sweetie mentioned that you actually threatened Fancy to his face when he took her away from you at the Gathering.”

“There, you see? Told you I’m on your side.”

“She also mentioned that you called me…how did she put it? A ‘hooflicking fangirl?’” Rarity said. “Really, Sapphire, it is fascinating how you’ll insult Fancy head on, but can only bring yourself to take shots at me behind my back. One would think you’re almost intimidated in the presence of a true lady.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sapphire said. Her voice had now returned to its naturally flat, slightly raspy tone. “You FAINTED the first time I met you! Just from talking to me!”

“You were a customer, dear. Any good shopkeeper knows that the key to repeat business is flattery.”

Hoity Toity slapped his forehead. “Do you think we could return to the subject at hoof? Ladies?” The two mares ignored him.

“Are you seriously gonna stand here,” Sapphire said, “and expect me to believe that you were only pretending to be impressed? Please. We both know that you lost it when the Pony of Pop walked into your pathetic little-“

“AND BEFORE I FORGET,” Rarity said, raising her voice to speak over Sapphire. “Don’t you ever even think of indulging your vile toilet fetish on my sister again. Thank heavens Fancy stopped you when he did. The very idea! Compromising Sweetie Belle’s health like that!”

“Oooh, you think you know my fetishes now, do you?” Sapphire said.

“Darling please, I know all about your love of public bowel movements,” Rarity replied. “I’ve heard your latest album.”

Triage snickered. Otherwise, the room was dead silent for a brief moment.

“Why, you smug little bitch…” Sapphire said. “Good one!”

She burst out laughing, slapping Rarity on the back so hard that she fell over again.

“What I tell you? Ballsy and witty! She’ll be the best spokesmare we could ask for!”

“Ah. ‘Spokesmare,’” Rarity said. “So your intent reveals itself. You want me to be a figurehead.”

“Not quite,” Triage said. “Let’s sit down somewhere. We’ve got a lot to talk about.” She extended her hoof once again to help Rarity up. This time, she took it.

The four of them retired to the nearby table, which had only been slightly singed in the explosion. Tea was served, and there was light conversation. Sapphire made jokes about her contempt for her own music (“It’s poppy garbage with no soul, but that’s what makes money. Artistic integrity sure as hell ain’t what keeps me in fur coats and diamonds.”) Hoity discussed the upcoming spring fashions (“Unspeakably dreadful.”) Triage barely said a word.

All the while, Rarity kept looking behind her back. Trixie and Diamond Tiara hadn’t stirred yet. For some reason, she felt uneasy seeing them lying there.

“So,” Rarity finally said, interrupting a tirade Hoity had launched into about pleated pants. “Regarding your offer to make me your figurehead.”

“It’s a little more complex than that,” Triage said. “Publically, you’ll be in charge. In reality, you’ll share power with the three of us. Equally. You don’t have our money and influence, but we don’t have your appeal. It’s a trade-off. You’re the only one who can rally enough other members to bring down Fancy, but we’re the only ones who are actually powerful enough to keep the Circle strong once he’s gone.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” Rarity said. “Why do you need me as the face of your rebellion?”

“You’re joking, right?” Sapphire said. “The entire Circle saw your little slave kick Fancy in the face. You know how many members have dreamed of doing something like that? But no one had the balls before. Not until you came along.”

“Silver Spoon was acting against my wishes,” Rarity said. “I had no intention of betraying Fancy. When you first wrote me, Triage, I only agreed to join your little coup out of self-defense.”

“Seriously?” Triage said. “I didn’t think Silver Spoon COULD act against orders. The last time I saw her, she asked me to mutilate her just to impress you.”

“It hardly matters,” Hoity said. “No one has to know the truth. When your foal kicked Fancy, at least half the Circle was silently cheering for you. Of course, they still danced their little dance and pretended to be outraged. You can’t be too careful. And since then, the rumors have only grown. They say Fancy’s afraid of you. That’s why he had you locked away and stole your favorite foal. He has Silver Spoon, you know. He’s been showing her off to everyone. It’s like he wants to rub in his victory.”

“I had no idea Fancy faced so much opposition,” Rarity said. “Until he turned against me, I certainly had no quarrel with him. He did select me personally to be the first member who did not hail from Canterlot, after all.”

“And why do you think he did that?” Triage said. “You really have no idea what the Circle actually is, do you?”

“Fancy likes to collect things,” Hoity said. “You’ve seen his collections: art, foals, books. And us. That’s what this is all about. Fancypants thinks himself the center of Canterlot. And he ensures that position by keeping the rest of the city’s elite under his hoof. One by one, he found out about our private indiscretions. He approached us, revealed his evidence, and promised to keep it quiet, as long as we joined his club and obeyed his every whim.”

“The club aspect helps him keep his connections close at hoof, and I think he actually does enjoy our company. But at the end of the day, Fancy’s Circle is just a blackmail scam. That’s all it’s ever been,” Triage said. “He helped you fake Silver Spoon’s death a few months ago, right? That gave him power over you. Concrete evidence he could use to hurt you. You think it was a coincidence that not long after that, he was inviting you to join the Circle?”

Rarity looked down at the ground. “I always thought he was impressed with me…” she said. “He helped me in so many ways…”

“All of them incriminating, no doubt,” Hoity said. “Every time you thought he was assisting you, he was in truth stockpiling ammunition to use to control you. It was the same with all of us.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Rarity said. “Why ask me to join at all? I may share your…interests…but I’m hardly a rich and powerful elite.”

“Oh, that one’s easy,” Sapphire said. “Who’re the only two ponies in Equestria who Fancy can’t possibly hope to control?”

Rarity’s mind flashed back to her first meeting with Fancypants. The way he had all but dismissed her as a clumsy oaf, until she had let it slip that she was staying in the castle. The sudden, profound interest in his voice when he responded:

“You…know the Princess?”

“Celestia and Luna…” Rarity said. Things were starting to fall into place.

“Exactly,” Triage said. “And who do the High Princesses turn to when they need help? Six chosen ponies, one of which happens to be you. Celestia doesn’t just trust you, she needs you. And Fancypants saw a way to exploit that. Blackmailing you would have been his most valuable acquisition ever. He was going to gain control of an Element Bearer. And with you, a direct link to the Princess.”

“That’s why we need you,” Sapphire said. “Between that Element of Harmony stuff and the mess at the Gathering, a lot of the other members see you as some sort of hero. If we float you as the new leader, we can win their support. They’re afraid of him, but they admire you more.”

A hero…

She didn’t like that word. It brought up too many memories.

“When we take control,” Hoity said. “Things will be different. The Circle will become a refuge for ponies like us. The love of foals will be celebrated as it always should have been.We’ll expand the Circle far beyond Canterlot. Triage knows some ponies in the sex trade, and they have a plan to establish Galleries in major cities throughout Equestria. There would be hundreds of foals in each one. And of course, as leader, you’d have be able to use them in any way you desired. Rape them, hurt them, ruin them, it wouldn’t matter. There would always be more. Don’t tell me you that doesn’t excite you.”

They..admire me...

Hoity continued to speak, but Rarity wasn’t listening. She was lost in the past. Her thoughts were reaching back, to the day after she and her friends had defeated Nightmare Moon. There had been a parade and a celebration. Partly for Luna, but mostly for the six of them. She had stood on stage while the undying Princess of Equestria herself had spoken of Rarity’s generosity, proclaiming her an example to be followed by all of Equestria.

She had waved to the crowd, she had smiled, and she had never felt like more of a fraud.

She could see her sister in the crowd. She was one of the few spectators not cheering with adulation at Ponyville’s newfound heroes. Instead, Sweetie Belle was staring at Rarity, with a harsh, unwavering gaze.

“They think you’re a hero,” her expression said. “But I know better.”

There were other foals in the crowd, too. Foals Rarity had been with in the past. They did not wear the same harsh expression as Sweetie Belle. Instead, they looked confused and betrayed.

There, in broad daylight, was the monster who had brought them so much suffering. And she was getting a parade.

Rarity tried to ignore them. She tried to look only at the smiling faces of the rest of the crowd. Instead, the opposite happened. Her mind filtered out every pony but those few, unhappy foals. She couldn’t focus on anyone else.

In desperation, Rarity looked away from the crowd, toward her newfound friends.

Twilight stood next to Celestia, beaming with pride. Applejack had her hat in her hoof, waving it at the crowd.

Pinkie Pie jumped up and down manically, grinning, laughing, and calling out the names of ponies in the crowd. She seemed to know them all.

Fluttershy waved meekly at the crowd, occasionally hiding behind Luna. And Rainbow Dash was flying above the crowd itself, egging them on and encouraging them to chant her name.

They were amazing, every one of them. Six very different ponies, who had somehow come together to drive back eternal night. And she was among their ranks. Rarity, despite all she’d done, was one of the heroes of Equestria.

She wanted so badly to live up to the title. To live up to her friends. On that beautiful summer afternoon, she wanted so badly to change for the better. To become worthy of the gift.

Yet, even then, in that crowd, she saw a filly who caught her eye. She tried her best to ignore her. To pretend she hadn’t noticed her at all. The filly was beautiful, young, and, Rarity noticed, all by herself. Her parents, it seemed, did not supervise her well. Perhaps, after the parade, she could sneak away, and…

No. This is a test, she thought. I will ignore her. She’s nothing. Just another face in the crowd.

She looked again at her friends, and the sight gave her the strength to fight against her base instincts.

“Element of Generosity,” she whispered to herself. “I will be worthy.”

And for a time, she had been.

Months passed. Rarity had fought her inner battle well. Somehow, she had even resisted the constant temptation that came from living alone with Sweetie Belle.

There had been a particular evening, two months after the parade, which stood out in Rarity’s mind. She had made no attempts to touch Sweetie in all that time. Her sister had never brought up the topic, and Rarity was glad for that. The two of them had been sitting at home, on a profoundly typical evening. Rarity had been working on a dress for a client, when she glanced at the clock and casually told her sister that it was time for bed.

“Okay,” Sweetie said, gathering up her things and making her way to the stairs. Just before she went up, she paused, and turned back toward Rarity.

“Sis?” she said.

“Mmm?” Rarity replied, not looking up from her work.

“You’ve fought yourself really hard these last few months. I can tell. Thank you,” Sweetie said. “I’m really proud of you.”

Rarity dropped her scissors, stunned, as her sister went up the stairs.

Somehow she managed to keep herself from crying.

Another month passed. Sweetie had formed a new club with two other fillies. She would be out of the house for the better part of each day, only returning at night when their “crusade” was done for the day. Rarity was thankful for this. The less she was around Sweetie, the less she had to fight her urges.

It was three weeks later when it happened. Rarity had been in a miserable mood. The entire town was in a fervor over Fluttershy’s new modeling career, yet Rarity, who had designed her outfits, had been completely overlooked. She had been in the middle of a walk, trying to calm her mind, when someone had bumped into her.

It was her. The foal from the parade. The beautiful one. Once again, her parents were nowhere to be found.

“Oh my gosh! I know who you are!” the filly said. “You’re Fluttershy’s friend!”

“Um…yes, I suppose I am,” Rarity said.

“Does she hang out with you? If I hang out with you, can I meet her?” the filly asked.

On a better day, perhaps Rarity would have told the foal no, and walked away. On a better day, any untoward thoughts she may have had toward the filly would have been drowned out by the mental image of her friends. Those images, particularly that of Fluttershy, did not seem to be working at that moment. Perhaps they would have, on a better day.

But Rarity was having a very bad day.

In retrospect, it seemed like such a small, meaningless thing, to cause her to fall once more. A dispute over fashion photography. So trivial, so petty. And yet, Rarity realized in hindsight, this was why it had worked so well. When major, stressful events occurred, she took care to make an extra effort to avoid temptation. You are vulnerable today, she would tell herself. Focus on your work. Take a walk alone. Suggest that Sweetie sleep over at Apple Bloom’s.

But it was the small events, the little, petty annoyances, which were truly dangerous. Because she didn’t expect them to affect her as much as they did. She didn’t notice them sneaking into her heart, derailing her emotions, until it was too late. Until the stress had become overwhelming, and the only respite her mind could think of was a foal.

What happened next was almost automatic. She invited the filly to her home, promising that Fluttershy would stop by soon. She led trusting foal into her room. She locked the door.

She felt no shame until afterward. And even then, she allowed her thoughts to fight the feeling back.

Element of Generosity, she thought. They call me a hero. And I am, aren’t I? That foal is only alive because my friends and I brought back the sun. Why must a hero live a life of self-denial? Why must she be ignored? Surely I deserve something. Some small indulgence in exchange for my service to the land. I’ve earned that much, haven’t I?

She wasn’t quite convinced by this argument.

But one glance at the crying, trembling foal lying beside her on the bed, and she didn’t care anymore.

Rarity turned toward the foal, and softly kissed her neck. The filly began to sob in terror.

“Please…please just let me go home…” she choked out.

“All in good time, darling,” Rarity replied. “But first, let’s make this an afternoon to remember, shall we?”

The next night, Rarity once again forced herself on Sweetie Belle. She made her sister wear a blindfold the entire time.

She didn’t want to have to look her in the eye.

Despite her fall, she remained proud of being an Element Bearer. But more than that, she truly loved the friends she shared that honor with. When in their presence, she could almost bury her urges completely. She almost felt like a different pony. A better pony.

Finally, Rarity’s mind played one final image back for her. The look on Applejack’s face, as she had turned away from her and walked out the visitor’s room door.

Rarity slipped back into the present as she looked across the table at her three co-conspirators.

“Okay, I think we’ve made our position pretty clear,” Triage said. “Well, Rarity? Will you lead the Circle?”

I was the Element of Generosity. I was loved and admired. And I was friends with the five bravest, most wonderful mares I have ever known.

Once again she saw Applejack, turning away from her and walking out the door.

And now, what am I?

Rarity closed her eyes as the memories continued unbidden. Silver Spoon stared up at her, face bruised, bleeding from her mouth. She was smiling.

“Hurt me more, Miss Rarity,” she said. “Don’t stop until there’s nothing left.”

The image dissolved into the face of her sister.

“I’m really proud of you,” Sweetie Belle said.

And then, almost instantly, a blindfolded Sweetie was screaming in her face.

“I THOUGHT I COULD FINALLY TRUST YOU!”

The memories were a flood now. She couldn’t stop them.

“…dedicate this stained glass window to their achievement, so their heroism against the trickster Discord will be remembered for all…”

“Let me go! I promise I won’t tell my parents! Please! It hurts!”

“I declare my first slumber party a success!”

“Whatever punishment you think is fair, I’ll take it! But don’t send me away from you!”

“Sis…it’s not too late to stop.”

Rarity opened her eyes.

For just a second, she could have sworn she saw the smiling faces of her five friends staring back at her. But the moment passed, and the five figures vanished. In their place were three unrepentant foal molesters. And they wanted her to lead them.

“What’s the hold up?” Sapphire said. “You think you’re too good for us now?”

In her memory, the door had just closed shut. Applejack had left the room.

“I know what I am,” Rarity said. “Yes. I will lead you.”

*******

“I just wish I’d had a chance to say goodbye.”

Twilight Sparkle busied herself in her library, while Owlowiscious sat on his nearby perch. As usual, the purple unicorn kept up a steady stream of chatter as she went about her tasks. Her words were ostensibly directed at the owl, but mostly aimed at herself. Since Spike had left, she found that talking to herself helped her focus her mind. Otherwise, her thoughts were liable to fly about and become disorganized. Celestia forbid.

But this was different from how she usually spoke. There was no energy in her words, no real drive behind them. From her tone, the owl surmised that her owner had lost something of great value to her.

“I just don’t understand why Indigo had to leave so quickly…” Twilight said. “I mean, I know that she wanted to get home to her kids, but I thought she’d at least let me say goodbye to Sweetie.”

Twilight sighed.

“I spent months trying to help that poor foal. I just wanted to see her happy for once. That’s not asking too much, is it? I just…”

The book Twilight had been carrying fell to the ground. It no longer held her interest.

“I guess I just wanted to see that some good came out of this whole thing. But that’s stupid of me, isn’t it?” she said to the owl. “A filly died. How can there ever be a bright side to something like that?”

She walked over to the owl and gave him a gentle pat on the head.

“Should I go visit her, Owlowiscious? I don’t think I’ll feel right until I do. Until I tell her how sorry I am I couldn’t help her…” Twilight looked out the window at a nearby hill.

“Fluttershy was there the other day. She said everyone was leaving her flowers,” Twilight said. “She said Silver Spoon must be happy, to lie in such a beautiful grave.”

The owl wasn’t paying attention. He had sensed something in the area close to his perch, and was rapidly ascending to the highest point of the ceiling.

A moment later, Twilight sensed it too. A few tiny sparks flew from her horn as she realized what was going on.

“Oh no! I didn’t think…Owlowicious, get out of the house before-“

A loud bang echoed through the library.

To Twilight’s pleasant surprise, very little of her study was damaged. She had put up a barrier just in case, but the magical energy which had been released by the spell turned out to be mostly benign. It made a great deal of noise, but had little influence on the physical world. A few books had been knocked from the shelf. Twilight levitated them back into their proper places as she ran to the table.

There, glowing with a violet light, was Sweetie Belle’s note, at long last fully restored.

“Finally!” Twilight said. “I guess I didn’t need it to help Sweetie after all, but pulling off a localized time reversal spell is still something to be proud of! I bet I could write a paper on this!”

The owl flew down from the ceiling, confident that the crisis had passed.

“I’d almost forgotten about this thing,” Twilight said as she picked up the note and began to read. “Oh, it’s longer than I expected! I guess only the first three lines were long enough to reach the edge of the paper, and that’s the only part that survived the tele…”

Twilight could not finish her sentence. For a moment, she found herself speechless.

Her eyes passed over the crudely written words over and over again, as if to make sure they were real.

“Oh my sun…” she said. “This…this can’t be right…”

On the note, written in pink crayon, were these words:

SILVER SPOON’S IN D.W. ALLEY TWIST IS WITH FANCY IN CANTERLOT
SHE IS TRAPPED UNDERGROUND. ONLY TELEPORTING CAN HELP YOU
ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GET TO THEM. HELP SILVER TOO!
SHE SAVED ME. SHE’S A HERO. BUT SHE'S VERY SICK.
HER MIND'S BROKEN. SHE NEEDS HELP SO BADLY.
DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME. SAVE MY FRIENDS.

“It’s impossible…” Twilight said, her words barely a whisper. “She’s saying Silver Spoon is alive…but there’s no way…”

A name burst its way through Twilight’s mind.

Indigo Dream.

She had shown up out of nowhere. Laid everything Twilight needed to expose Rarity right at her hooves. She was from out of town, yet somehow she had more evidence against Rarity than the local guards had ever collected. She was the one who had linked Silver Spoon’s death to Rarity. And then, as soon as Rarity was in jail, she did everything in her power to keep Twilight from seeing Sweetie Belle.

“Because she knew…” Twilight said. “She knew Sweetie would tell me it was a lie…”

Owlowicious perched himself on his owner’s back. He didn’t understand. Why was she yelling?

“I’ve been so STUPID!” she cried. “All this time, I wanted to get Rarity so bad, I ignored what was right in front of me! OF COURSE Indigo was too good to be true. Of course she was! Showing up from Canterlot with everything I ever asked fo-“
Twilight looked over the note again.

“Canterlot,” she said. “Whatever’s going on, it all points to Canterlot.”

She ran to her closet, levitating a saddlebag loose from its hook.

“Owlowicious, I have to go. Now,” she said. “There’s no time to track down the others. Who knows what sort of thing Indigo might have Sweetie involved in…”

As she levitated the note into her saddlebag, she took one last look at the final line:

“’Don’t worry about me. Save my friends’,” she read aloud. “You’ve suffered so much, and you still thought of your friends first.

“Your sister could learn a lot from you, Sweetie Belle,” Twilight said.

She opened a window and motioned for Owlowicious to fly out. “Looks like you’ll have to fend for yourself for a few days, buddy,” she said. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be go-“

“TWILIGHT SPARKLE! ART THOU IN THINE ABODE?”

The voice coming from the front door echoed supernaturally. There was no doubt as to its owner.

“Princess?”

Before Twilight could walk to the door, it flew open violently. Princess Luna stepped inside.

“Your highness!” Twilight said as she rushed toward Luna. “What brings you here?”

“Your help is needed,” Luna said. “Urgently.”

As she walked further into the room, Twilight realized that Luna was not alone.

Pipsqueak lay on her back, fast asleep.

“The child’s sleep is not a natural one,” Luna said. “I came to Ponyville to find him, and offer him comfort after his recent trials.”

“Bring him to my bed,” Twilight said, pointing Luna in the direction of her room. “But wait, what ‘trials’?”

“All will be explained. But first, I must save this colt,” Luna said. “When I found him, he had not slept for days. His mother says he is suffering from the most terrible nightmares. I have glimpsed into his mind. And now I fear dearly for this colt’s sanity.”

They reached Twilight’s room, and Luna gently placed Pip on the mattress. He did not stir.

“I placed a spell of sleep upon him and brought him here, with the permission of his mother, of course. In a moment, I shall enter his dreams, and attempt to free him.”

“I don’t understand,” Twilight said. “What do you need me for?”

“This nightmare is the most fearsome one I have encountered since I returned from my exile,” Luna said. “Entering dreams carries a certain level of risk. When confronting a nightmare of this magnitude, I often seek the help of a powerful unicorn. As a precaution. While I am in his dream, my body will remain standing, inert and motionless. But in the event my body falls to the ground, I will need you to break the sleep spell and wake the child immediately.”

“Wait, what does it mean if your body falls?”

“It will mean that the nightmare has consumed me,” Luna said. “It will mean that I have died.”

[NEXT: In dreams/The Forest/the shimmering city]

Author's Note

Author's notes for this chapter can be found here.