Hearts and Hooves Day for a human in Equestria

by TrollestiaSubject

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Human, Sweetie Belle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Spike, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis
Length: 7848

The not first human in Equestria + Hearts and Hooves Day + A lot of mares that find hands sexy

A human in Equestria plus
An easier and comfy life plus
Hearts and Hooves Day plus
A lot of mares that find hands sexy plus
A lot of HiE Clopfics around.

All that plus the fact, that not every human falls for pony girls.

Special thanks to yellowbastion who helped me to edit chapters 1 and 2 and like half of 3 so far

Published 2012-10-24 06:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-31 01:09:21 UTC

Pinkie

It was a nice and quiet morning, the sun is raising, the air through your window is fresh, and the birds chirped up there in their trees.

You’ve been living in Equestria for a while now, you aren’t pretty sure how long since you still unfamiliar with the new calendar in Equestria, but you can calculate nine months at least, and when you torn away the page in your pad calendar, you notice today is Hearts and Hooves Day.

You set your residence at the outskirts of Ponyville; a nice place to live, and near a very friendly town. The day is sunny and it’s one of these places where everypony knows everypony, at least one of them does. But you don’t pass unnoticed by yourself. Your job consist in help Time Turner to keep all clocks of town in sync; It's an easy work for someone with hands, and helps you to go from one place to another all day, and keep occasional short conversations with everypony, which helped you to throw away your initial nerves in this job, and even to make some good friends around.

You’re unsure of how to react to Hearts and Hooves Day, it sounds like Saint Valentine’s Day, but last Winter Wrap Up was anything like wrap up presents or Christmas as you had expected, so you decide to keep in schedule with your job and ask somepony later. But all of a sudden; a flash of pink tackles you to the floor over the bridge in your way to the center of Ponyville.

When it stops blurring, is no other than Pinkie Pie as you had expected.

“Hello David!” she announces at full volume and waving a hoof, as if being above your chest could pass unnoticed.

“Hi Pinkie,” you answer, struggling to breathe after having the wind knocked from you, trying to stand up.

“Today is Hearts and Hooves Day!” she says, and you notice for first time a picnic basket in her left hoof.

“Yeah, I know Pinkie, Happy Hearts and Hooves Day! I bet you look forward to this day the whole year. I'm sure it'll be a busy for you. Are you preparing a party for everypony this afternoon?” you inquire, resuming your way to Ponyville.

“Ho! nonono, “ she says walking at your side, with her basket above her head. “This day I had made some other plans,” She states in a slow and timid way that makes you turn to face her starting to wonder if you keep talking with Pinkie Pie.

“What do you mean ‘other plans’, what could possibly make you to not throw a party for everypony?” you ask arching your brows, expectant to an answer.

“Well, I had thought about asking a very special somepony to spend the day with me” she said sheepish.

“Oh, nice!” you said happy for her. “Can I ask who the lucky one? Pony I mean,” you correct yourself at the time you look aside to her, and strangely she’s holding something between a bitter and sad expression that seems to be just before her mane deflates. “Oh, well, I shouldn’t have asked, sorry pinkie” you try to apologize.

“It’s you!” she retorts back in surprise, recovering some of her good mood.

“Hahaha” you laugh for a while, “Nice joke Pinkie Pie!”

“No, really; it’s you!” She answers back, and you laugh just as loud as before, but not for so long.

“I’m sure you made that joke to everypony each year! And I’m the first one in fall in it for a long time, am I not?” You add, watching her shaking her head in denial, “But then I bet it’s not so funny if they are actually ponies” you see her still shaking her head. “and it’s probably not so funny after…” You don’t know why, but after watch her head denying for a while you’re starting to believe her. It has been a complete surprise for you, of course you know Pinkie from your first day in Ponyville; she threw a party for you, and she’s the social pony around, and the party soul of the town; but you had never looked at her like she was anything other than the crazy chick who is friend with everybody, and a little immature to take anything serious.

“But I’m working right now Pinkie” you said regretting it immediately, almost ashamed of your own excuse.

“Don’t worry, its Hearts and Hooves Day; foals get out early from school, and bosses understand if you wanna spend time with a special somepony today. I had prepared a picnic for us. I have pies, muffins, cupcakes, baby cakes, even a frost jar, for later, if you know what I mean” she said wiggling her eyebrows at you before go back.

“I’m going to become diabetic with all that!”

“Hey! It’ll be fun, you and me alone. eating all these puff pastries with sweet filling"

"I'm not four years old Pinkie, that much sugar could put me into a comatose state."

"We could find a nice spot above a hill where nopony could watch us… have a picnic. A blanket on a hill, eating all these pastries, I’ll be so romantic”

“Oh! I’ve seen you smashing pastries into your mouth before; I’m kind of put-off by any romantic ideas that may end with you or I varnished in cake frosting”

“Why not?! Think in what we could do later, my coat full of cake crumbs, and your tongue looking for more… Let’s do it!!”

“Your coat?! Pinkie, I know, your coats aren’t like the ones of the equines from where I came, they smell good, after all you’re a magical pony... you talk all that but... My point is; Bleh, your coat? Really?! I’m not into that Pinkie. Ask to anyone else in the town”.

“Anypony else?”

“I mean anypony else, yes. You sure will find you have a lot of admirers. I’m not a pony, Pinkie” you say assured of your words and waving your fingers in front of her which made her smile the second bigger smile of her life, but utterly denying her a date. “Sorry.” You say before go inside the town, leaving a somehow confused looking Pinkie Pie outside the town.

Rainbow

“Hey, Dave!” Someone calls your name form far above, but you can picture who is already.

“Hey, Dash! Aren’t you going to call me human today?” you said after finish syncing the clock of your favorite restaurant.

“Nah, not today!” Rainbow said in a cheerful but still condescending tone, as if doing you a favor.
You've spent the last couple of hours syncing the clocks around Ponyville market, and since today is Hearts and Hooves Day you’ve seen a lot of couples at the plaza, all eating in these small bistro tables and looking corny to each other, so to find a friend like Dash here is actually a nice and welcomed surprise.

Welcoming some friendly talk, you both make your way to your favorite restaurant in the plaza, to find an empty table just outside, and you use your breack to rest your feet from your daily walks through the village.

Rainbow Dash takes a set in across from you at the table. A waiter appears next to you both, and you just order “the usual”, but Rainbow orders a Strawberry Milkshake.

“But with two straws, and extra sweet!” Dash nervously adds almost with a cuffed yell before the waiter leaves.

“Extra sweet?” you remark, surprised by the order, not even sure of whether or not you've had taken breakfast together before. “Don’t you have to look after your figure, or something, if you want to become a Wonderbolt?”
But Dash only shrugs,
“It’s for the energy” Dash replies weakly.

It sounds a bit suspicious to you, and maybe it's because you haven't taken your breakfast yet, but you buy it.

Most places don’t serve meat. Even if you haven’t tried every restaurant across all of Equestria you assume that none of them do. This particular place has a menu with eggs, cheese, and even fried things, like potato chips, and potato fries. You once tried the hay fries. but your body ended rejecting them, and you didn't enjoy the taste much either, that fact alone made the owner of the restaurant sell some new dishes created just for you, like fried potatoes and such, fact to which you show your thankfulness by being a regular client of the place.

After a few moments of awkward silence, your companion’s order arrives; a pink strawberry milkshake in a tall frosty glass, complete with whipped cream, a couple of crispy waffle cookies in roll, two straws, and a cherry on top. Having arrived first but remains untouched out of what you assume is just friendly courtesy.

"Hey, that's loaded, I should oderded that everyday" you comment, a little jealous of how much sugar a pony is able of metabolizing.
“It's a Hearts and Hooves Day especial. Do you want some?” Dash offers giving you the end of a straw. But, seriously, after seeing all those couples drinking beverages from twin straws, you now find it a little weird to do the same with Rainbow.

Luckily your own beverage arrives; Coffee with cream and sugar.

Now, back at home many of your friends would have made fun of you for not ordering black coffee, but that doesn’t seems to matter anymore; you’re the only one even drinking coffee in this town for far as you know.

“No thanks, I’m fine,” you answer in a polite tone, while still waiting your breakfast. Dash takes a couple small sips from the milkshake.

“Strawberry Milkshake, that’s a good name for a foal” you say trying to reanimate a primordially dead conversation.

“Well, anything's better that a made up word like 'Dave'.” Dash strikes back.

Used to just being called 'human' you don’t really have anything to reply. After all you are the only human in Ponyville
You’re not the only human living in Equestria, but most of them made their homes in more populated and lively places like Manehattan or Hoofington. Still you rather enjoy the peace and quiet of the little town. At the beginning you were nervous about interacting with the magical creatures. Just as much they were nervous about you wandering in their town; but you’ve developed a good relationship with all of them in your time here. No longer more than just a freak, you became the proud representative of your kind in the town.

“Hey Dash, don’t you have any clouds to kick today?”

“On Hearts and Hooves Day you can just stop working, you know. Besides, I’m in charge.”

“No one Miss the boss? Not to mention it’s a perfectly clear day” You add making Dash caugh a little into the milkshake like after receiving a low blow.

You both have discussed it before, and you always held that the weather control if convenient, is completely useless; since you arrived the two of you have competed to argue your perspectives for what it seems like forever and any opportunity to score a point is never passed down.

Soon your eggs and bread made their way to your table, while Rainbow Dash still taking care of the milkshake.
Your eggs feel somehow lonely without beacon, but half a year ago, or something like that, the day came that you thought you could no longer live without meat. Armed with a crude bow and a couple of home made arrows, your attempt at hunting a bunny, ended with a bear chasing you, and Fluttershy giving you a condemning stare of hers after that. To this day you've been too afraid to try again, of her wrathful gaze, not the bear.

With you breakfast finishing its way from your plate to your mouth, Rainbow quickly and unceremoniously gulped down the rest of the frothy pink milkshake.

Feeling content and very full, you pat your belly a little, “So, Dash, what’s up? Anything you want to talk about?” you ask with a little grin.

“Well… maybe…” Dash states like trying to avoiding the subject, which doesn’t sounds like the Dash you know.

“Come on, tell me, do you want I move my political influences with the Equestrian government to grant you a particular audition with the Wonderbolts?”

“Nah… pff! Can you do that?!”

“Noooo… I don’t... think so, but I've never tried”

“Any case, it’s not that”

“Well, then what?”

“Well, you know.... it’s Hearts and Hooves Day!”

“Yeah, I haven’t forgot. What’s up with today? Do I need to buy a present for my friends or something?”

“Well... gifts are nice and all, but mainly you’re supposed to spend time with a very special somepony.” Dash lets out a little burp, a blush clearly contrasting in a sky-blue coat when the strawberry smell in the air becomes noticeable.

“So I've been told. Pinkie was weird this morning with ‘Let’s have a picnic!’ you know. More weird than Pinkie weirdness, it was a little scary.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, I know… The thing is…”

“So, do you need me to help you catch somepony you like? Do you want me to help delaying a clock or something?”

“What?! NO!! I'm already spending time with him.” Dash sais pointing a hoof to you.

“Ho- Hoho” you coldly laugh off, as Santa Claus could after a bad joke, “Well, I’m… very, what's the word in Equestrian? Um, lets say... flattered? But wouldn't you rather spend time with a stallion, or maybe mare. You know, if that’s in what you’re into. I just mean, another pony?

“No” Dash said crestfallen. “Why does everypony think I like mares?”

“Well, you're a stallion, and...” You said, somehow feeling the world crumbling for the stare of Rainbow Dash alone, or maybe it did crumble down inside of... her? “… or not” you add, starting to doubt in what your eyes tell you.

“I’m no stallion, for your information I’m a beautiful, slender mare, with the body of a goddess!” She replies back, but you have seen how a goddess looks here before, in the princess themselves, and you may not be the sharpest eye in Equestria, but you know she doesn’t look anything near to a goddess as she just claimed.

“Ho... so you’re a mare!… then that time, when I swam naked in the lake with you…”

“Yes! I put my eye on you that day.”

You have no better strategic move than a tactical facepalm in this moment.

You don’t want to think about how cold the water was that day, or the fact that stallions are supposed to have larger private parts than humans.

After deploy your strategy, and without anything to save you, like a hydra eating you on the spot, you decide to play it cool and try your best poker face to remedy the situation.

“Ok, sorry, I can’t just hide my private parts like the males from this place seem to do”

“Don’t worry; I’m not mad at you. That was actually… attractive, if you ask me” she says half closing her eyes and smirking back.

“Hmm... what’s up with your look? Are you feeling well?"

“This is my sexy face!”

*Sure* you think, *Right, a sexy goddess you are, sure*

“You could have said something back then!!” You shout, abruptly breaking your poker face.

“I thought you were giving me a show! And I was enjoining it!!” she yelled back. Every pony in the square seemed to suddenly stop all at once to stare.

“Well, I never heard of anyone, anypony I mean, refer to you as ‘She’ or ‘Her’, just… Rainbow, Dash, or Dashie” You explain while leaning in closer, and lowering your tone for a more private… explanation.

"What?!" She mini-yells at you, slamming her hooves on the table bringing her face closer to yours, "What else could you have thought when I allowed you to watch my secret training?!”

“Your secret training! How was that a secret?! You invited me to watch you fly around above public park!”

“And my body doesn't look anything like a stallion's; you need to be blind and deaf to think I’m stallion!”

“I- I thought you were just young, you know, because of how show off you act sometimes”

“I don’t show off!, I’m the best young flier all over Equestria!”

“You see! Young! Young flyer, and why you never want to go at the spa with rarity or anyone -anypony else.”

“Come closer!”

“What?!”

"Wanna Kiss?" Dash says closing her eyes and puckering her lips.

“What!? No!” You shoot back, hurriedly leaning back in your seat. She opens an eye and you can’t evade notice her wide spread wings closing before she goes back to her seat.

“Don’t worry!” she exclaims bouncing on her chair for a while, “Nopony really cares, Hearts and Hooves Day is about spend time with your somepony----"

“Ah…” You cut her off. “Somepony! Some-Pony.”

“Yeah. Well, Hearts and Hooves Day is for everypony so, or... how do you say? one?"

"I'm pretty sure it was meant for someone with hooves" You say flapping your fingers near her face, movement strangely followed by her with eyes and head.

"It's about find a very special somepony, or some... A special someone!” She answer nonchalantly, breaking eye contact with your hands.

“Ah...” You sigh in resignation, she doesn’t appear to understands what you're trying to get across.

“Besides, you know what other ponies say about human hands?” She whispers with her sultry face on again.
Hands, yeah, you have a couple of those, you think to yourself, not too sure of what she’s getting at.

“Pegasi form other cities say that they works wonders on a couple of sore wings”
After all those times seeing her fly around since you arrived you’re really starting to wonder if you could even outrun her if you were to just turn around now and haul ass away.

“Look, Dash. I don’t really feel any attraction towards you. Blue isn’t really an attractive color for me, it seems like something drowned, or froze. Besides, you know I have a human girlfriend in Manehattan, why do you think I would cheat on her for you?”

“Sexual tension!”

“What?! Sexual tension? Really? I didn’t even know you were a mare, and to be honest I kind of enjoyed our friendly fights, but I don’t feel any kind of sexual tension between us”

“You told me your marefr-, I mean girlfriend, hasn’t written in a long time!”

“Three days! I told you yesterday; that’s not a long time, and Derpy probably hasn’t delivered the letter yet. It won’t be the first time that's happened!”

“Well, if you were my coltfriend–"

“Which I’m not” you interrupt her.

"–I won’t be writing you letters from another city for just some more bits, I would be with you, specially on this day.”

“Oh, Dash…” you just stare at her, unsure of what to do; if run away like a crazy man, or fake a heart attack.

You know how good friend ‘she’ is, but she’s also too cocky for your taste, and you just don’t want to touch that point because you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

“But I’m not a colt” you just say before leave the bits for both breakfasts in the table and pet her mane.

“Look for a nice stallion Dash, I already found a nice girl.” And you walk away without look behind.

Twilight?

You start your way to Twilight's library. She has two clocks, one in the ground floor for display to everypony inside the library, the other upstairs, inside her bedroom you recall. But work thoughts doesn’t seem to work to get you out from Rainbow’s surprise, and now you’re thinking you were a little rude with her, maybe even with pinkie too. You never saw you as a male Fluttershy in personality but you’re unsure about your ‘sorry’ supplies since you could be giving some more of them later for them.

Suddenly you realize something about what Dash said when you were talking with her about Pinkie:

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, I know,” Were her exact words.

*I know?* You keep thinking, maybe the whole thing was a joke from those two but you aren’t too sure. It could just be a pony thing. You don’t have a way to find out since it’s your first Hearts and Hooves Day, in any case these two play jokes the whole year.

*Or maybe they all made a plan to spend the day with me at different hours.* You think just laughing your ass off, that’s utterly ridiculous, you don’t know a buck about probabilities, but you just know it’s more improbable than a human in Equestria.

So you stop your idiotic giggle before go inside the library.

Inside you greet Spike With a “Hi!” just where he’s, above a ladder placing an armload of books in the highest row of the bookshelf, slash wall, slash tree.

Twilight is sitting in the other side of the library, studying some spell from a book that only makes sense for an unicorn. But she looks at Spike, and he gives a suspicious gesture back to her, then they just give you back your ‘hi’ not being very talkative today.

At the beginning you were nervous about spike for some reason, his carnivore teeth, claws, and predatory eyes played a part in that, but when you found out he eats jewels well, you thought they could taste to meat in this land. But they don’t, and you ended in colgate’s consultory.

“Well, what up with you both?” you ask wondering about their weird glances and lack of conversation, while syncing the library clock, barely being noticed.

“It’s nothing, really. Just wondering if the library won't be too busy today, and I guess it won’t.”

“I noticed that today is Hearts and Hooves Day, and... well, about that of ask a very special somepony out, I...”

“YOU WANT TO ASK ME OUT!!!” Twilights shouts at the top of her lungs, and utterly horrorized, which actually you find as a good sign.

“No, no, is just that Pinkie and... Rainbow Dash, asked me out, and I don’t know if it’s some kind of joke, or if... Hey twilight, can I ask you something... Is Dash, a mare?” you utter lightly, as ashamed from even being heard by Spike who’s just a kid, in human years at least, because the local ponies still call him a baby.

While magically lifting a few books down from the shelves, Twilights starts to tell you about the differences about female and male ponies, things like the skull structure, the volume of their hunches, the points in their hooves, even differences between their wings and horns, but since the form of the muzzle seems to be the easiest way to remember, you just keep that.

But taking back your conversation, you inquire her again about a classical joke for this day, something that a newbie should know or so. Maybe it’s more alike to April’s Fools Day and you don’t know.

But... no. She doesn’t really know anything about major joke for the day planned for the humans in Equestria, but she’s sure they both had talked about your hands and she blushes before quickly bringing a hoof to her mouth to shush herself.

And... that’s actually weird, you think. You watch your own hands in an uninterested way, but then you noticed to Twilight watching them in somewhat a lusty way. Ashamed of an unintended vulgarity you hide your hand behing your back. It seems that ponies don’t look at hands the same way you do. In the other hand you recall how hooves seemed to be so uncomfortable before, but in time you noticed how they don’t seem to find difficult tasks like hold or move stuff so you just had forget about it.

Then she sends Spike out for what it seems a pointless visit, to the most time consuming places in town. Actually just to the mail office to reclaim undelivered mail. After that, you notice she’s a little nervous before asking you to come closer.

To be true you're feeling butterflies in your own stomach, but you don’t know why. You think Twilight even if pretty for pony for standards, isn’t making you forget about your girlfriend in Manehattan. In fact the problem is that they are a lot alike; someone easy to talk with her, with something interesting to say, dedicated to her work, and even a little nerdy. But your girl just paints theater’s backgrounds, nothing magical involved, beside the magic of art or so. Anyways, you love her alot, so you wouldn’t betray her, even for two Twilights.

“You aren’t asking me to be your very special somepony, right?” You ask before taking a step closer.

“Of course I’m not” She says blushing wildly while holding something like a laugh, or something else that you can’t explain. “I have too much to study today” she just says like speaking with herself.

After a brief pause in her mind she snaps back with a “Oh! but I need you to do me a favor”

“Which is?” you ask bluntly, still a little shocked of how weird she can be sometimes.

“Well, could you sync the clock in my bedside table, it has been out of phase since yesterday” She add a “Please...” holding her hooves together and opening her eyes wide as analog clock faces or something, maybe you have spent too much time between clocks.

But today you were syncing that one anyways, so you give a quick nod and tell her that it's no problem, and knowing the way you set off up the stairs.

“Dave, do you remember how you ended up here” She asks you following you upstairs.

“Here? like here in here? Ponyville, your library, or the stair?

“Equestria”

“Well, Celestia’s repopulation program.”

“No, I meant the mean in which you arrived”
“Your... misapplied, spell?”

But you don’t get an answer back, as soon you enter her room a heavy door slam is heard from behind, you turn your sight to find the door shut from the outside where Twilight is keeping it closed with magic you thought, but no. It’s not glowing, but you can hear a lot of wood being stacked outside the door.

“Hey Dave, nice to find you here” a slow and suggestive voice is heard from behind, you know pretty well from whom it is.

You find Lyra laying in Twilight’s bed, with her front legs crossed in front of her and her hind legs extended along the bed in a very model like fashion.

Now you know Twilight was talking about Lyra, and how she brought you to Equestria with a spell she stole from the library in order to have her own human.

Soon after watch Lyra’s legs, you think she’s hurt or something. So you ask:
“Hey Lyra, are you hurt or something?!”

Your first reaction is think she hurt her ankle, she’s somehow dying for that as a normal horse from your land does, and Twilight is probably the only one to blame, she’s kidnaping ponies, probably all these years as Celestia Student made finally all its way up to her head. And she’s drunk of power, using body pieces for dark rituals or something. Who knows?

“No, no, I'm in a seductive pose” Lyra says.

And you think an *ok* just before shout a:

“WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?!!”

“I'm being seductive, I just told you”

“But why?”

“Dave, I’m eager to have you. I’ll do ‘Anything’, I mean it. A-ny-thing you want”

“Wait, what?! Why?”

“Dave, I guess it’s time for us to talk, about your origins.”

Well, your mind right now wanders between the limits sanity and madness, you have flashbacks of a thunder hitting you, and then you hitting, kicking and shouting in a weird living room after that. Some mint-green creature running away from there, somehow more scared than you, and then coming back with who you know now as Twilight Sparkle.

Then random memories, like when she applied to you the spell to understand the Equestrian language. All of that now fuzzy. due to the three months you passed in a Ponychiatric Asylum, or whatever they call them; trying to recover some sanity.

The fact that the doctors where all unicorns wasn’t helping, but you were diagnosed as ‘Not-Dangerous’ by Wingloin Asylum, and thats all you need to try a calm and relaxed life in ponyville. And since Lyra accepted the responsibility of watch over you; you just try to get along with her, not being a shitty friend, and not causing too much trouble around.

“Dave, I brought you... Into Equestria!” She says in a dramatic tone. “Tan-tan-tan...”

“Well, yeah, I know”

“You know? why? that was a secret” She confess, looking a little disappointed.

“Well, I was there... You know, When I arrived”

“I thought it had been a traumatic experience for you?!” She remarks, taking a seat on twilight’s bed.

“Well, I'm not saying I enjoyed, but... how common is a green coat again?” You clear going closer at the stair to Twilight’s bed.

“Oh!... You remember my coat!” Lyra says blushing a little, closing her eyes, and taking her front hooves to where her heart... should be, maybe, in comparison to yours.

“Well...” you say again as if it could help you to pretending that everything is well “I’m under your responsibility, why else if not? mhm?”

“Ok, ok, but I have another secret: Most humans are brought here by Celestia herself under their permission”

“Or Luna”
“What?”
“Or Luna, you know. Celestia or Luna, ponies seems to forget a lot about Luna. Luna also brings humans to Equestria”
“Did you know?!”

“Of course!” you affirm while walking up through the stair inside the room.

“But.. how?!”
“Talking with other humans! in the office of the Human Repopulation Program, where I meet my girlfriend. We have our own language you know”

Lyra who facehoofed seated in Twilight’s bed just said “Why you never told me you knew?”

“Well, I guessed that... you know”
“What?”
“Well, that you needed a friend or something, I know you’re from a wealthy family from Canterlot. That’s probably a lonely life, and you seem to just hang out with your cousin. So I guessed... you know, that you wanted a pet, a friend, or something, but you ended up calling a human, I can’t really blame you for something like that”

“A friend?! Yeah! Yeah, that’s it!!” Lyra said taking a hoof from her chin to the air.

“Yeah?” you said while syncing Twilight’s bed table clock.

“Yeah! Today, as you probably know, is Hearts and Hooves Day, and this is a... day with, you know, hearts and... hooves. It's used to celebrate.. friendship, that’s it!"

"Friendship?"

"Yeah!"

"I've seen a lot of couples today"

"Yeah, they are in the.. hearts part. The hooves are the friendship part, like, you know. Brohoof!" She says extending her hoove to you.

"Brohoof" you answer back unemotionally when you hit your fist with her hoof, she keeps looking at your hand for a brief moment, and even mimics slightly your movement before snap out of her amused state, and look back at your eyes.
"You see? friends!" She assures with a wide smile in her face before that squeaking sound that ponies seems to do for some reason.

"Weren't you trying me to seduce me like two minutes ago?" you inquire in a fast pace.

And she facehoofs again.

"Look, Lyra, I don't know what you ponies have with hands," you said while she leers to you, "but you know I have girlfriend, so you, Pinkie, and Dash, should stop this already, I'm just not interested in mares"

"Yeah. Yeah! I know! It was all a joke!" She says grinning "Dave, you can be so naive sometimes. You know how Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are playing jokes all the time"

"A joke hum?"

"mhmm"

"Then, Twilight?" You ask, just after finish your syncing job, maybe if the princesses were punctual, clocks around won’t need that much ajustement.

"Well, it all was a big joke, Twilight wanted to participate. You know, Hearts and Hooves Day Joke! Everypony wants to participate!"

"Ah! Ok, I was starting to... get worried"

"yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. It wasn't our intention, but, you know, it's Hearts and Hooves Day. Everything is a big prank today, you don't even need to work. So... wanna cuddle in the bed?"

"hmm?"

"What? look, this day is meant to spend time with... a... special, some, one. And you are my friend. Maybe the only one I have, besides my cousin. So... Just for a while, I'm lonely, you know it. I just wanted to spend a while with my friend... Play a joke I meant. the joke first, that’s it. Come on! You don't want to say you spent your first Hearts and Hooves Day alone and working, do you?"

"Well, I guess it's a pony thing. Sorry, it scared me a little first"

"No problem, somepony should have explained it to you before. Force you through it was a an awful idea” she said smiling while you sit in the bed with her.

You’re now a little relieved of it all being a big joke, you knew it all this time, but it felt nice to be a recurrent galan in the story. But as Hearts and Hooves Day Joke it was a nice joke.

Lyra places her head and front hooves in your lap and you wonder if they see you as much of a doggie pet as you’d seen them, of course you don’t say it to her, but at least Lyra seems to be comfy on you.

She has been your friend since you moved to Ponyville, she helped to building your house, getting you a job, and you’re grateful for everything she taught you about Equestria, and... well, Equestria.

She’s a nice friend, she likes to see you even at late hours, hear your problems even if you don’t have a lot anymore, and about your homeland, which seems to be uninteresting or too hard to picture for everyone else. Well, pony; everypony else.

Besides, having a friend who plays a musical instrument, in a land where there’s no television, is always a plus.

So when you notice again you’re resting your back in the headboard of Twilight's bed, and you’re tapping on Lyra’s mane. She seems happy and looks like an Alright Hearts and Hooves First Day.

“Hey Dave” Lyra says from her mid-slumber.

“What is it, Lyra?”

“Could you, pat my horn”

“Sure, why not”

“Oh, that feels great...”

“Really? More than your mane?”

“hmmmhmm... even better” she said in a relaxed pace, just before adding in a hastened tone “just, maybe. If you’re an unicorn”

“Well, just unicorns have horns”
“Well, well, I feel something”
“Are you Itchi? I can scratch it” you say before playfully scratch and squeezing Lyra’s horn.

“No! No! too much, slowly, ” Lyra pleads, half giggling, and half keeping your hand away with her front hooves.

“Do you wanna go at the spa to sharp it? I bet that’s better, and I’ve been stressed all day. We should after this” You say while going back to your slow paced petting on her horn.

“It’s not the same” She answered in a low, rather seductive tone of voice, which made you suspicious.

“Eh... Exactly how does a horn feel at all?”

“Well, it’s... like a bone, It’s a bone I meant. And, well, it’s connected to the brain so... you know, sometimes, massaging on it a little feels good... RELAXING! I meant, feels relaxing”

“So it goes to your brain?! It’s not dangerous?” You say taking away your hand from it.

“No! No! Not at all, don’t worry, keep with that.”

“You sure?” You add before return your hand to her boned part, feeling slightly curious of the weird feeling of an unicorn’s horn. In fact, you can just remember the touch of Lyra’s horn once before, for a brief moment, when you both were alone in your asylum ‘room’ and she was trying to convince you that unicorns aren't dangerous.

And once again in your home, when you just had moved to Ponyville, and you can’t remember why back then. But you had never touched the horn of anyunicorn else, so you think that you need to be a friend before invade that personal space. and that has made you curious about how it feels, so you keep indulging Lyra, and satiating your own curiosity. But... soon enought you find something wrong with it.

“Yeah, sure, sure, keep going, like that. Oh, yes! Right there, yeah, more, I want more, now a little harder!” Lyra says while her horn is glowing with a warm shine.

“Lyra” You ask taking away your hand again “Exactly, how good does this feel? because you seems to be a little...

“A little what?! What do you mean?!”

“Well... your horn is shinning, are you holding something?”

“Oh, yes, believe me, I’m holding it”

“What?! Which thing? Where?”

“Oh, nothing. You keep doing that” she said facing her horn to you “Just for a little bit more, and then we can all go home”

“Hmm... but exactly, how... common, is this?”

“In Hearts and Hooves Day? Very common! I ensure you”

“Well, and, in other day, in the street?”

“Well, it’s not another day, and we’re not in the street, so...” She says poking a bit her horn in your shoulder

“Well...”

“Well, well” she answers back speeding her poking at you

“Fine! It’s nothing, indecent, or weird... right?”

“No! No! of course not” she said with a face much more stressed of when you began.

So you take her horn with the full palm of your hand this time, to ensure it’s a bone; You’re not bones expert, so you fast up the peace of your strokes to verify that it’s not hide, or if somehow it’s flexible. And you can’t tell the difference between a bone yet, but she starts to moan and heavy breath when her horn start shining again.

Then you heard a noise in Twilights balcony, something like a thump from a wood hitting against the tree. You Lift your sight to find a leader and you find Bon-Bon climbing up and entering through the window.

“Lyra!!” She shouts very upset. “What are you doing?!!”

“Ah! Bon-Bon! I can explain!” Lyra shouts back after the surprise of her cousin using such unexpected entrance.

“You have nothing to explain missy, I just caught you redhoofed” Bon-Bon angrily retorted

You don’t know what happens between Lyra and her cousin, but Lyra’s horn suddenly stops glowing, and she now seems to be very disturbed. Lyra seems to need the spa more than you today, but you don’t really wanna ruin Bon-Bon’s Hearts and Hooves Day taking Lyra for the whole day for yourself. So you propose a solution that you think, will benefit everyone and everypony.

“Hey Bon-Bon, calm down, we three could spend the day together”

“What?! How...?” an horrified Bon-Bon shouts back.

“Yeah, we could go at the spa after this, and you now, have fun together. Maybe we could bring Aloe and Lotus along, and do something this night. Lyra said that Twilight downstairs asked too for some fun today. Why can’t we all get along?”

“... How you dare?!” An even angrier Bon-Bon shouts back to you. Don’t you think every mare is going to be lustful for these things of yours”

“No! Bon-Bon! He doesn’t even know what he’s doing, he thinks it’s an insensible bone. He’s innocent.” a very saddened Lyra said... or maybe shamed.

“Well, not really, you were telling me that you could feel, a bit...” You comment, before watch to Bon-Bon again. She’s so furious that she looks even a bit like a furious Fluttershy. It’s really scary, you could have shitted on your pants, but luckily the pressure of being seated helped you to contain. “What? what did I do now?” You kind of know the answer, but you rather play the innocent part better.

“Lyra, how could you?? You told me that having your own human close would help you to forget, and now even Twilight is helping you? Maybe you didn’t even steal that spell, Maybe Twilight did the whole thing by herself!”

“Bon-Bon, no! I just promised Twilight a report from all this. Look, I’m sorry, I- I didn't mean to... it was just the horn” a back fallen Lyra says.

“So... What’s this all about the horn?” you ask Bon-Bon in authentic confusion, you aren’t feeling very well, but you don’t have anything better to add, and maybe distract them from their conversation may help you to sneak away from them.

“Just- Just, don’t ask, ok human?” Bon-Bon says covering her face with a hoof in deception. “My fillyfriend and I have a lot to talk about, and it’s not your concern, just go away”

*What? Fillyfriend?!*

You think in a flash, knowing the meaning of that word between ponies.

“I thought you were cousins?”

“We are cousins” Lyra says still next to you on Twilight’s bed.

Worried about what you’ll find out if you keep asking, you decide to implement a strategic retreat, and get the hell out of there, while they still arguing. Taking advantage of the confusion you slip your way through the ladder, which is a shorter and easier way than the door, which is still blocked, probably.

Watching your steps down, you notice Twilight waiting below the ladder.

“So, how was it? is it possible? where you two compatible?” Twilight ask in a very inquisitive tone.

“Twiligt-” *Go and fuck yourself* you’re about to add, but you rather keep your good apearance and say something better, like:

“Ask Lyra”

“I can’t, and I presume she will be grounded for a while, so you have to tell me”

“Really, don’t ask” you mutter out, kind of disappointed of Twilights behavior.

“But, just tell me, the rumors are true? were you both compatible? Hands are really that nice”

Then you start running, because, face it, you wanted to run away since early when Rainbow Dash boarded you, and maybe you can't run away from her, but you can try to run away from Twilight, right? She's a librarian after all. Probably of the of the deeply wild kind since she`s outrunning you without problems asking something about realistic data about compatibility.

You try your best, but since you can run faster than her, you just jump inside a house right through the window, and she politely cuts her run behind you.

You sneak away the best you can by another exit. And run away hoping that that she had lost your track.

You have skipped a lot of stops so far, run away for your life seems to always mess with your routine. But you never thought that you could be running away from Twilight who usually saves the town.

Anyway, you're not an hourly employee, and you have a route, so it`s not big deal. Besides, some ponies have told you that in this day you can skip work, and you're figuring why now.

You finish your rounds before reach the outskirts of the village, you now only have Sweet Apple Acres as last stop, and it seems like a long walk to there, but you like to walk, swim and stuff, besides, you don't have TV or Internet at home. So, meh...

In your way to Sweet Apple Acres, in the side of the road, you find a meek and timid pegasus, she`s hiding behind her pink mane, but you know by her yellow coat, who she is far before she gives you a rather weak:

“G- Good day Dave”.

“Good day Fluttershy”

“Hmm, Dave. I- I, May I, I have someting for you?” She says after a little struggle.

Cold sweat drops slid from your temple, you just hope that yours breakfasts based in eggs don`t make her mad, this little and shy pegasus can be fearsome sometimes, and you're living a little scared from her, keeping an eye in the day she no longer stays, so you can go to the forest, with your bow in hand and arrows in your back, and eat meat again.

But she always seems to go out from nowhere, and right now, that`s not good for your nerves.

She opens her saddle bag with a wing, and you don't know why, but you bend your knees start to balance the weight of your body between your shoulders, just in case she had decided to take care of the potatoes in Equestria too, and it could be a knife, or a chainsaw. You can never be ready enough in a land of magical talking ponies; but no. Turns out it`s just a heart shaped card with some hoofprints and your name on it.

“Oh, Fluttershy. I didn't know. I always thought that you didn't like me”

“Don't say that, you're my friend” She says blushing a bit, not strange in her though.

Now, you don't believe in her a lot, maybe thats part of Hearts and Hooves Day get along with the people, or ponies, or whatever, that you scared to dead long ago, in any case its a nice datail so you knee to hug her and place a kiss in her mane, very european style, thats why Valentines day means anything in your land.

“Im sorry, I don't have anything to give you, all this Hearts and Hooves Day has been weird for me. I just want it finish already, but its barely noon.

“Oh, I don't mind at all, you don't have to give me anything back day. D- Do you like it? I made it myself”

“It`s very cute, thanks fluttershy. This is the only nice thing that has happened me today”

“I- I`m glad you liked. I- I wanted to ask you about if you could...” She spoke each time more slightly.

“A what?”

“if you'd like to...”

“I can't hear you”

“Well, i- if you had liked the...”

“Yeah, yeah! I liked the card a lot, thank you!” you said each time louder, like compensating the weak tone of the shy pegasus.

“Well, I have to go now, Fluttershy. I owe you one” you said to her waving her card in fron of her, and setting your way again to Sweet Apple Acres.

To be continued...

Next Chapter: Applejack
This was the longest chapter, but we set in march the Spike subplot, Dave`s persecution complex, and we had Twilight, Lyra, Bon-Bon here. And Pinkie and Dash will return in the next chapters as guest stars, so it was a nice chapter overall.