LIES!

by Bluebirdd065

Rating: everyone
Tags: Big Macintosh, Adventure, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 8369

A new Gabby Gums is released about Applejack and Rainbow Dash....

A new Gabby Gums is released about Applejack and Rainbow Dash, and now, nobody is safe..

NOTE: Not anti-ship fic. And even if it was, it's still kinda rude to down vote it based on that, and not the actual story itself.

Published 2012-10-29 04:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-22 21:09:39 UTC

Appledash!?

*Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap-*

"Scootaloo! Can you stop with the tapping?! I'm trying to think!" Sweetie Belle snapped.

Scootaloo shot back an angry glare. "And you think I'm not?!"

"Shut it! Both of you!" Applebloom shoved a hoof in their mouths. "Neither 'f us can concentrate with yer fightin'!"

Scootaloo broke free. "Hey, she started it."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"AH DON'T CARE WHO STARTED IT, BUT AH'M ENDIN' IT!" Applebloom yelled.

The two fillies slumped back down silently at Applebloom's outburst.

"...................Alright. Now, any ideas for the new Gabby Gums column?"

The two shook their heads.

"No, but I would've gotten one, had it not been for Sw-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Applebloom interjected.

"Fine." Scootaloo replied hesitantly, crossing her forelegs.

"......Good! NOW can we focus on the column? Ah mean, it's not like we got ALL of Ponyville waitin' for another 'juicy' story, huh?!" Applebloom said sarcastically.

Scootaloo pushed her pencil away from her. "Whelp! I got nothing!"

"Me neither." Sweetie Belle said softly.

She sighed. "Well ah don't, either, but we can't just quit! Ah mean, how else would we be able to get our-"

"Hat! Give it t' me!"

"Huh?" the three fillies said in unison, looking towards Sweet Apple Acres.

"You want it? Huh?" Rainbow Dash teased, waving the hat above Applejack and placing it on her head with a devilish grin.

"Ah'll git you you varmint!" Applejack said playfully with a goofy grin on her face.

Rainbow Dash kept playing with the hat and rubbing it in the owner's face when a lasso grabbed her hoof and brought her to the ground.

"Gaah!" she said with a thump.

And before she could move, Applejack got her in a headlock and started to give her a noogie while chuckling like a foal.

"Ah told you ah'd git you!"

Then Rainbow Dash broke the grasp and tackled Applejack to the floor with a toothy smile, both of them laughing in a way similar to a hyena.

After tons of silence, Scootaloo turned around slowly with a confused look.

"What did I just see?"

"Ah...ah don't know. Ah know they're friends, but that seemed a little....."

"Gay?" Scootaloo blurted.

"What? NO! That's rude! It wasn't that, it was......strange."

"Well I just think that's a little too playful, for two mares." Sweetie Belle added.

"Hey! Mah sister's barn door don't swing that way!"

"And how do you know for sure? Did she tell you?" Sweetie Belle responded.

"Well, uh, no, but-"

"That settles it, Applejack has a thing for mares!" Scootaloo blurted out.

Applebloom's face gained a shade of red.

"No she's not! And quit yellin' like a manticore is chasin' you, yer callin' attention to us!" Applebloom yelled.

"You're bringing attention to us, too, so stop yelling!" Sweetie Belle hollered.

"But yer makin' a scene givin' me this stupid lecture on not yellin' by yellin!"

"Because you're yelling! And the only way to make sure you hear me is to yell, because you keep yelling!!!-"

"What's goin' on here?" Applejack asked, walking up to the two fillies.

The two seized up and put on their best poker faces while watching the two panting mares uncertainly.

"Uhhh, paper?" Applebloom said, holding up a blank paper.

"Yeah, paper! Where doing stuff, with...paper?" Sweetie Belle said.

"What kinda stuff? Like, paper airplanes and stuff?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Uhhh, yeah! Paper airplanes!"

With that, Rainbow Dash almost instantly created a paper airplane and threw it, watching as it flew around speedily. She grinned with pride at the small paper figurine. Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and her sister just stared at her blankly.

"......What?" she asked with an annoyed tone.

Long, awkward stares...

"Hey, were's Scootaloo?" Applebloom broke the silence.

Everyone looked around and found no sign of the orange filly.

More awkward silence followed, and Applebloom saw this as an opportunity.

"Welp, I guess we better go looking for Scootaloo!" she nudged Sweetie Belle nervously.

"Yeah! I guess we should look for Scootaloo. Over there. Away from here." Sweetie Belle stuttered.

Then the fillies dashed off.

"What was that about?" Applejack asked.

Rainbow Dash shrugged.

++++++

The fillies walked around aimlessly before meeting her friend in front of the school.

"Hey guys!" Scootaloo beamed.

"Where were you?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Yeah! Why'd ya ditch us!?"

"Well..." Scootaloo brought a newspaper to her hooves. "I just finished a Gabby Gums column!"

"What? How? Why?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Well, when I saw your sister playing with Rainbow Dash, I thought of this!" she held up the paper to the fillies.

"Rainbow Dash and Applejack: More than friends?" Sweetie Belle read.

"WHAT?!" Applebloom shouted. "AH TOLD YOU, MAH SISTER'S BARN DOOR DON'T SWING THAT WAY!"

"Of course not, and neither does Rainbow Dash's, but just think of how the rest of Ponyville will eat this story up!" Scootaloo said excitedly.

".....Well, that IS true, and also we already made a story about the both of them individually, so how could this be any different?" Sweetie Belle pointed.

Applebloom sighed. "Well, I guess so, but it still don't seem right."

++++++

"WHAT?!" Applejack screamed. "M-M-MORE THAN FRIENDS?! WHERE THE HAY DID THIS 'GABBY GUMS' VARMINT GET THIS FROM?! MAH BARN DOOR DON'T SWING THAT WAY!"

"I don't know." Twilight said calmly. "But she obviously doesn't care whose reputation she destroys."

"YA DARN RIGHT SHE DOESN'T CARE! AND IF AH FIND HER, I'LL BUCK HER TO KINGDOM COME!!!" Applejack shouted before storming out of her friend's house.

She marched over to Rainbow's typical napping cloud and threw a pebble at it.

"Ow!" She peeked over the cloud, rubbing her head. "What gives?"

"DID YOU READ THE NEW GABBY GUMS COLUMN!?"

Rainbow's ears perked up despite Applejack's angry tone.

"There's a new one? Cool! Who's it about this time?" Rainbow asked excitedly.

Applejack threw the paper on the ground furiously. "WHY DON'T YA COME SEE IT?!"

With that, Rainbow Dash flew off of her cloud and shoved her face in the paper, reading it as her smile dimmed into an angry-look that-could-kill with every word. Upon finishing the article, she growled, tore up the paper with her teeth and stomped on it with extreme hatred and frustration. When the paper was shredded completely, she looked up to Applejack with the same expression and growled, "Where is this 'Gabby Gums'?"

++++++

"So." Applejack said calmly. "YA'LL three are Gabby Gums?"

Applebloom was a bit disturbed by her sister's tone, but she responded anyway, despite her gut telling her not to.

"Uh, yeah." she said nervously.

Applejack stood silent a bit, then nodded. She pulled a newspaper up to her hooves.

"And, THIS ya'll wrote?"

"Yeah." Applebloom sighed.

"........Ok, ok." She took a deep breath. "Ah just have one question for you."

Applebloom felt a chill run through her as she answered.

"Shoot."

Applejack straightened her back, as if to provide a dramatic effect. She stared coldly at the three fillies before a small grin came across her face.

"Do you enjoy life?" she whispered.

"Ah love mah life! Whut are you, crazy?" Applebloom said boldly, trying the hide the obvious feeling of fear in her.

Applejack snickered.

"Naw, ah ain't crazy, but that cloud up there?" She pointed to a small rain cloud above the fillies. "The one on top of there, is crazy. And I'd give ya'll about, oh, ah don't know, five seconds?" she smiled darkly.

THOOOM!

"GAAH!" the three fillies cried, running away from the crazy pegasus.

"I'LL DESTROY YOU!!!!"

THE END

Flutter-Mac

(I wasn't planning on making this a series, but after I forgot to change the status to "complete", someone asked if it was going to be a series, so to make up for the confusion, I am making it a series. DPV111, I'm looking at you.)

"How the hay is stuff like this gettin' out?!" Applejack said angrily.

"Mah brother is way too shy to even say anything other than "eeyup" and "nnope" half the time he talks! And Fluttershy, well, she pretty much pays more attention to her animals then stallions! It just, it's- it's stupid!"

"I told you, I just heard some mares talking about it! I don't know where it came from!" Twilight pointed.

"What!? Who? I bet it was Lyra and Bon Bon, right?! Those rascals do nothing but spread lies!" Applejack grunted, ready to storm out at any moment.

"No! It wasn't-" Twilight sighed. "They said that they heard it in another conversation, so no, it wasn't Lyra or Bon Bon. Besides I've never seen the ones talking about this before, anyways."

"Never seen them before!? then they must be new!!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, hanging upside down from the room, wearing clothes oddly very similar to that of Sam Fisher. (Splinter Cell reference, for those of you who don't know. Google.)

"Huh? How?-"

Twilight put a hoof on Applejack's shoulder. "This is Pinkie Pie we're talking about, remember?"

Applejack shook her head to clear her mind of Pinkie's Fourth-Wall breaking antics.

Pinkie then gave Applejack a confused look.

"Fourth-Wall? What's that?" she asked.

++++++

"Dear, you must leave your cottage sometime!" Rarity said under her timid friend's cottage door.

"NO! I'M NEVER COMING OUT OF HERE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Fluttershy boomed, pushing Rarity a few feet back.

Rarity combed back her disheveled mane as she spoke, "Well, if you won't come out, can I come in?"

Silence, until the sound of nine locks were heard along with the sound of breaking boards, finally revealing Angel by the door, stomping the ground impatiently.

Rarity gave a confused look at the rabbit before walking inside.

++++++

"BIG MAC, IF YOU DON'T OPEN THE DOOR, I'LL BASH IT IN!" Applejack pounded on the door.

"Why do you want me to open it?" he replied nervously. He was acting like a filly! And Big Mac, of all people..... Anyways!-

"Well, first of all, you locked us out of our own home!" she looked back at Granny Smith and Applebloom, sitting in the dirt with an irritated look on their faces. "Second of all, you're acting like a mare! Ah knew you had a sensitive side, but golly, Fluttershy's probably doing better than you! And when that completely rude, insulting story was up in Ponyville, ah didn't cower in fear!" she glared at Applebloom with a very long, dark glare that could kill a cockatrice in an instant. She slumped into the dirt, feeling her soul getting punched in the face by her sister, until-

Click!

Granny Smith immediately jumped up, running into the building and already drifting to sleep on her chair before anyone noticed, causing Applejack to break her stare.

Big Mac had his head down as the two sisters walked inside. Once Applebloom had gone to her room, Applejack spoke up.

"Alright, let's sort this out."

++++++

"Darling, there's nothing to be worried about, it's just a simple rumor, and it won't change anyone's opinion of you....Well, except for Big Macintosh's, but we can sort that out so we can all just look back at this silly moment and laugh." Rarity explained.

"EASY FOR YOU TO SAY! YOU'RE NOT THE ONE GOING THROUGH THIS!" she yelled from up the stairs, the waterfall of tears growing slightly in size.

"Well, yes, I don't know what it feels like, but I'm trying to imagine if I am, to help YOU!"

"NOTHING BUT A TIME MACHINE CAN HELP ME!" she yelled.

Rarity tapped her chin with her hoof. "Well, I heard that Dr. Whooves fellow knows a lot about time, would it help if I brought him?" she asked blankly, unsure of what to do now.

Knock Knock Knock!

"DON'T LET THEM IN! THEY'RE HERE TO LAUGH AT ME!"

Rarity sighed. "Come in, the door's unlocked."

Just then, Applejack entered the cottage, with no one other than Big Mac in tow.

Applejack nodded at her friend. "We're here to sort this out."

"I hope so." Rarity whispered.

"Soo, what's the damage?" Applejack whispered back.

"The house is nearly flooded, if you haven't noticed."

Applejack looked at the floor and noticed the cottage drenched in three inches of tears, most of which was pouring out the door.

How'd ah miss that? Applejack thought.

"And may I ask how this will work? What's the plan?" Rarity asked.

Applejack turned to her brother. "You. Up there, now. Ah don't wanna deal with this much longer, now git!"

Big Mac flinched at her sister's dark tone, but did as he was told, slipping on tears and smashing his face on the stairs the way up there. Once he reached the upstairs, there was silence, then the tears stopped, followed by the sound of glass being smashed. Rarity and Applejack gave each other one quick look before running up the stairs, seeing one window broken and another one opened carefully.

"Darnit, Big Mac!" Applejack yelled before jumping out of the smashed window.

Rarity looked and saw the chase before she shook her head and left the cottage, running.

"Fluttershy, wait up!"

++++++

Rarity and Applejack looked at the two roped up together, all trying to catch their breath.

"Well at least we got THAT settled." Applejack said blankly.

BOOSH!

The four looked up to the barn door and saw Twilight, breathless as well.

"There's another rumor being spread." she gasped.

"WHAT?!"

THE END (For now.)

Two rumors in two days.

"There's another rumor being spread." she gasped.

"WHAT?!"

Upon hearing this, everyone had gone silent, waiting for the victim's names THIS time around.

Applejack looked around awkwardly, before realizing Twilight wasn't aiming for any dramatic effects.

"Well who is it!?"

Twilight jumped at her voice, then proceeded to stare at her and Rarity with sorry eyes, as if...

"Oh, don't tell me." she said blankly.

Twilight slowly nodded, getting an irritated groan from Applejack.

"WHO!?" Rarity yelled finally.

Applejack's head slumped down as she sighed.

"Us."

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFOR THE LOVE OF!-"

++++++

"Really? I thought they were all straight." Lyra said, tapping her chin with a hoof.

"I guess not. I mean, it makes sense though. I mean, just think of how LONG they've been friends for! There had to be stronger feelings sooner or later." Bon Bon pointed.

"Huh." Lyra said. "So, who'd you hear it from?"

"Derpy." she replied almost instantly.

"...So then I guess I'll go see Derpy."

Bon Bon got a confused look on her face.

"Why?"

"Because I have nothing else to do." Lyra shrugged, heading to the door.

"Uhhh, okay?" Bon Bon said, tilting her head in confusion.

++++++

"Okay, so now that I have all of you here, we need to figure out how to stop these rumors, because this is getting ridiculous." Twilight said angrily.

The six just sat quietly in her house, nodding at each other, as if a secret language was being used.

Fluttershy finally spoke. "Why don't you get your brother to help? Maybe the culprit lives in Canterlot."

Twilight shook her head. "I doubt it's from Canterlot, especially with the consistency of the rumors." she pointed a hoof at Applejack and Rarity. "Because the rumor almost immediately spread after Rarity and Applejack's 'mission' for Big Macintosh and Fluttershy. But my brother could definitely help, thanks for that."

Fluttershy simply gave a small grin, then sank back onto the floor.

"Good, so now we're closer to finding the one ah'll crush." Applejack snarled.

Twilight clapped her hoofs together. "Alright, well I'll go to Canterlot in the morning, so for now, let's just get some sleep. Celestia knows we need it."

With that, the four ponies nodded and disbanded, seconds later leaving Pinkie Pie to pop out from the fireplace with a goofy smile. Twilight stared at her with awe, as she shook herself, clearing off the soot from her coat and revealing a ninja outfit.

"Shhhhh.." she said playfully to Twilight, before throwing down a smoke bomb filled with confetti under her and vanishing.

Twilight held a dumbfounded look on her face, covered in confetti and soot, seeing the now perfectly painted wall with confetti designs. Spike came out from hiding behind Twilight and looked at her with a worried look, before breaking out laughing on the floor.

"How does she DO that?" Twilight whispered to herself.

++++++

A small beam of light creaked through the- Eh, whatever, she woke up.

"Ugh." she groaned as she sat up on her bed, blinking lazily at everything before her. After finding the courage, she stood up and walked to her mirror, noticing the bad hair day she was having. She slowly combed her hair until it looked decent and began down the stairs, where she was met with a loud-

"Surprise!"

Twilight jumped back on the stairs, but slowly slumped back down to meet Pinkie Pie, who threw a-

"Good luck party!" Pinkie yelled. I wish I could at least finish my-

"Sentence!"

"............What?" Twilight asked sheepishly.

"Oh, nothing." Pinkie smiled.

"Uhh, okay." she said blankly before going out of the door and heading for the train station.

++++++

The train ride was extremely long and boring for the poor, purple unicorn, but she was hoping it would be worth the help.

"Twilie!" Shining Armor smiled, taking off his helmet and walking down to meet her sister.

Twilight simply grunted slowly, "Hi.."

Shining Armor had simply ignored his sister's obvious grumpy attitude and hugged her.

"It's so great to see you, sis!"

"Mmmmmmhmmmmm.."

Still ignored it. "So whatcha here for?"

"Some stupid-AWK!" Twilight put a hoof to her throat as she gasped, choking on a fly.

"Ahh!" Shining yelled, rushing his mind on ideas for help.

Twilight's face suddenly turned blue seconds later, and she collapsed.

Shining was now freaking out even more.

"Okay! Okay! Okay! I got this! I learned CPR in training! Agh, but I've never used it in a real life situation... HELP! SOMEONE HE- agh, no time! I have to save my sister!" he said quickly, before jumping on the ground and putting his mouth on his sister's to save her life.

"Ugh, that's disgusting." a guard said calmly, nudging the guard next to him.

"Gross, isn't that his sister?" the other asked.

"Why yes, yes it is." Said another voice, scribbling on a note pad beyond the guards' view and hearing level.

"...Yes it is." it snickered.

++++++

Twilight coughed. "Well thanks for saving my life." she smiled.

"Of course. And I'll keep an eye out for any suspicious activity." Shining replied.

The two waved their goodbyes than went their separate ways. Upon re-entering his position, a guard had spoken up to Shining Armor.

"Listen, sir, I'm not trying to be mean to you or anything, but your own sister? That's just sick." he said.

"What? What are you talking about?" he asked.

Another guard spoke up. "YOU MADE OUT WITH YOUR SISTER OUTSIDE!"

That sentence kicked his mind with confusion.

"What!?"

++++++

Upon entering Ponyville, Twilight had noticed tons of eyes on her on the way back to her library, which confused her a lot. She had reached her house eventually, and entered to see her friends waiting inside.

Immediately, Rainbow Dash had spoken up.

"Please, PLEASE tell me it's just another rumor!"

THE END (Sorry for the long wait and short chapter, I've had so many stupid interruptions.)

Oh, and also, if you wanna see a ship in here, leave a comment.

Clues

To avoid confusion, this takes place BEFORE Twilight rode to Canterlot, as in, the night before.

"Man, I seriously thought they were straight!" Lyra told herself, crunching the dirt beneath her as she walked around.

She had pondered over the rumors, if they were even rumors at all, but she just needed to know. She didn't know why, but she figured it was probably the boredom speaking to her. It felt, oddly important, like, Equestria-is-going-to-blow-up-in-a-few-seconds-important, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't just point it out.

But she snapped out of her daze when she was met with Twilight's building.

She wasn't stupid, she knew she obviously couldn't fly to Derpy's house; she needed wings, and she knew Twilight had to have some kind of freaky spell or potion to do just that.

She peered into the window and noticed the lights out.

"Ah, she's sleeping." She whispered to no one in particular.

With that, she snuck over to the window latch and opened it, zipping inside like a ninja and crouching in the shadows. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness before her as she made out the large bookshelves in front. She smiled at the sight of her goal. Her smile then quickly faded as she was met with..THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of books.

"Are you kidding me?!" she whispered angrily.

She sighed as she began on pulling out the first book. She wouldn't trust her magic with this delicate situation, so she used her hooves, slowly wiggling the book out, bit by bit until it came loose. Happy with the lack of noise, she brought it down and read the title, "Fairy Filly Tales"

She brought her head out of the book and stared at the bookshelves with an irritated look.

"Buck it." she said as her horn began to glow, already shredding the bookshelves, throwing down helpless books as the pages flapped in anger.

++++++

Twilight kept hearing the sounds of thumps on the ground, and ignored it, until it began to get louder. She wanted to go down stairs and smash the face of whoever was doing that, but the pure laziness and lack of fatigue made it exceptionally difficult to do just that, so instead, she pulled a pillow over her face.

"Twilight. What is that sound?" Spike asked.

"Ughnnn." she grunted, too lazy for an actual word.

"Twilight."

"......."

"Twilight." Spike kept asking.

"Twilight."

THUMP THUMP THUMP. "TWILIGHT."

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP. "TWILIGHT!"

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP. "TWIIIIIIIIIIIILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH-"

"SHUT UP!" Twilight yelled, zapping Spike with and instant-sleep spell.

Then, thumping stopped, along with Spike, leaving absolute silence.

++++++

"SHUT UP!"

Lyra jumped back at the obvious voice of Twilight, and began rushing the books back on the shelves super quietly. The books flew across the air before leaving them in a nice, neat order on the shelve. Lyra sighed with relief as the urgency diminished. Then, a book plopped out of the shelf. Lyra crouched down and stared at the stairs, waiting for the signal to abort her mission. She sat there a few seconds, before realizing she was in the clear. She walked over to the book and read the title, "Flight Spells".

"Cool." she said as she picked up the book and jumped out of the window, closing it behind her.

Once she was out of the building, she walked into a small shadow, where she threw the book and began reading it.

++++++

It seemed like at least five hours before she got the spell down, and when she did, she knew how to do it easily. So with the knew knowledge in her mind, she zapped herself up a pair of wings. She looked behind her and gazed at them with pride.

"Aweeeeeesoooooome."

She flapped them back and forth, trying to align the two together.

++++++

Another what-seems-like-five-hours went by, and she now knew how to fly perfectly, as if she were born an alicorn or something.

With the flight stuff down, she flew up to Cloudsdale and spotted Derpy's house. She didn't really know which house was Derpy's, but obviously the one shaped like a muffin had to be it. She flew over to the house and glanced through a window, seeing the exact grey mare sleeping on a bed, snoring up a storm. She opened the window slowly and hopped in, seeing Derpy cuddling a lava lamp. "Derpy And Her Lava Lamp" reference.

Lyra looked at the lava lamp with a confused look on her face, before she crept up to the side of Derpy quietly. She knew, in order to wake up Derpy at his time of hour was to be EXTREMELY LOOOUD!

"WAAAAAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUUUP!"
"GAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Derpy flew out of the bed and ducked in a corner, breathing heavily. Lyra walked over to the other side of the bed, where...

"RAAAAAGH!" Derpy yelled, launching muffins at Lyra continuously.

"I DON'T EVEN LIKE RASPBERRY MUFFINS!" Lyra yelled.

The firing stopped. "These are blueberry muffins." Derpy said calmly.

"Oh." Lyra said.

"RAAAAAGH!"

"AAAAAH! BLUEBERRY MUFFINS!"

"MAKE IT STOP! OH, MAKE IT STOOOOP!" Lyra's horn began glowing as a force field covered her.

"Huuzaaah!" Lyra said proudly, sticking her tongue out.

Derpy had stopped her muffin raid at the sight of the force field. The two were panting as they stared at eachother awkwardly.

Lyra was the first to talk.

"Hi." she said innocently.

"Uh, hi." she replied.

"Umm, are you going to come out of that force field?" Derpy asked.

"Are you going to stop pelting me with muffins?"

"Yes."

"Then yes." Lyra said, stepping out of the field.

"Why are you here?" Derpy asked.

"I'm here about a certain rumor being spread around."

THE END.

Derpy's Day

"I'm here about a certain rumor being spread around." Lyra said calmly

Derpy tilted her head, "What rumor?"

"The one about the Elements of Harmony?"

"..........."

"Mane Six?"

"Ummm."

"The cyan colored one, the yellow one, the pink one, the purple one, the white one and the orange one?"

"OOOOOOOH! Well why didn't you say so?"

Lyra face-hoofed.

"Yes, well anyways, I want to know who told you about that rumor."

"What do you mean? YOU told me, remember?"

"What? When?"

"Just yesterday!"

Lyra had no clue what she was talking about.

"You know what? Why don't you run me through yesterday." Lyra ordered.

"But it's kind of a long story..."

"It's fine," Lyra sat on a pile of muffins, "I got time."

"Yeah, but I'm tired, and-"

"Let's just consider this repayment for pelting me with muffins." Lyra said, chewing on a muffin.

"It was self defense! You broke into my house, remember!?" Derpy said, pointing at the window.

"Yes, but what if I had been allergic to blueberry muffins? I woulda died. You would've been a murderer. Do you know how long the last murder committed in Equestria is?"

"Lyra, do you REALIZE how stupid that is!? What are the odds of blueberry muffins killing you?! Besides, even if you DID die, how would've I known that you'd be allergic to blueberries? And you DID break into my house, so it IS considered self defense, and your allergies would've made it an accident, so therefore, I would be not placed with the title of a murderer!"

"EP-EP-EP-EP. STORY." Lyra said, hiding how blown away she was by Derpy's explanation.

"...You know I can call the Guard."

"Yes, have fun flying all the way down to Ponyville in the middle of the night to see me disappear, like a ninja." Lyra grinned.

"Wait, how did you get up here anyways?"

Lyra flapped her wings with pride, "Magic."

"How did I miss those things?"

"I dunno, now tell me the story! We're wasting time here!"

"Why the rush?"

"I dunno! Just get telling!"

"Fine." Derpy sat on her bed.

++++++

Okay, so obviously, I woke up.

Derpy hated mornings; they were so stupid. She always just wanted to sleep forever, but the stupid sun always had OTHER plans!

"UGGGGGH." Derpy groaned, standing up from her bed and walking to the kitchen.

"Okay. Breakfast, breakfast, breakfast." she muttered, opening the fridge door.

IT WAS COMPLETELY FILLED WITH MUFFINS.

"Okay, so we got, pumpkin, blueberry, raisin, raspberry, chocolate, vanilla, banana nut, peanut butter and...egg flavor?"

She picked up the box and looked at it; it indeed said, "EGG FLAVOR".

"Huh, I should try that later."

So she went and began looking at all the muffins she had, and-

"CAN WE PU-LEASE SKIP THE PART DEALING WITH MUFFINS?" Lyra asked, seeing Derpy's mouth watering.

Derpy shook her head, "Huzu- what? Oh, okay."

Derpy put on her uniform and began her work, accidently missing somepony's mailbox every now and then.

"Stupid eyes!" she said everytime.

And before she knew it, she was face to face with Bon Bon's house, which was last.

Lyra was the one to open the door.

Derpy held the mail in her mouth, and Lyra picked it up with her magic, putting it on a table behind her.

"Thanks. Hey, and did you know that the cyan colored one, the yellow one, the pink one, the purple one, the white one and the orange one are gay?"

"What? Really?" Derpy asked.

"Eeyup." she said before closing the door.

"Huh. Well how 'bout that?"

"And that's it!"

++++++

Lyra had a dumbfounded look on her face

"THAT WAS IT!?" she asked.

"Eeyup."

"SERIOUSLY? NO STRANGE THINGS HAPPENING? AT ALL? THAT WAS IT?!"

"Eeyup!" she replied innocently.

Lyra face-hoofed.

"Eh, well thanks anyways." Lyra said with an irritated tone.

With that, Lyra walked over to the window and jumped out.

Derpy then looked at the pile of muffins in front of her, diving into them.

"Now it's just you and me!"

++++++

"Great, now I'm back to square one." Lyra said to herself.

The sun was coming up, and ponies began waking up. Lyra, however, was going to do the complete opposite.

She opened the door and saw Bon Bon on the floor, unconscious .

"Sweet Celestia!"

She ran over and picked her friend up, then noticed the chocolate lining her mouth and all the wrappers on the floor. Lyra groaned.

"I knew she was hiding chocolates from me.." Lyra said, dropping Bon Bon with a loud thump.

Then she walked over to her room and plopped down on her bed. She reached a hoof under her pillow and pulled out some chocolate.

"But I have the good stuff."

She began eating her amazingly over-priced chocolates and fell asleep not soon after.

THE END.

(Sorry for the long wait and short chapter. I found out I have a 34 in PRE-AP Science.)

Square One

Lyra groaned as she was pulled away from her dream of giant chocolate fountains. She sat up and watched as tons of chocolate wrappers fell off of her. A second later, she felt a large shock of pain in her head, and put a hoof there to ease the pain.

Lyra picked up the box the chocolate was in and inspected it. There was a small square at the bottom of the box that read,

"CONTAINS ALCOHOLIC FLUIDS."

"What's alcohol?" Lyra whispered to herself. She couldn't figure out what the heck that was, but she figured it was most likely the thing that caused her headache. She looked at the floor and saw five empty boxes and hundreds of wrappers on the ground. She sighed and looked out of the windows, bringing herself back as the sun burned her eyes. She sighed and walked over to her dressers, picking up a pair of sunglasses and putting them on.

"Today is gonna be a LONG day." she said as she walked out of the door.

++++++

Twilight sipped her tea while reading, until Rainbow Dash burst through her door.

"Twilight! Twilight! A bunch of ponies are saying that YOU and Rarity are-"

Twilight waved a hoof dismissively, "I don't even care anymore." she took another sip, her eyes never leaving the book before her.

Rainbow Dash stepped back in surprise.

"What!? So, you're just gonna, give up!? Just like that?!"

Twilight slowly looked up at her friend with an uninterested look. "Eeyup."

"Oh, well, o-ok." Rainbow Dash said with a confused tone.

Twilight continued reading.

"Well, umm, I guess I'll uh, see you around?" Rainbow Dash said, tilting her head before leaving the library.

She walked a few feet from the library and looked back.

"Well I'm not giving up!" she said before bolting into the sky.

++++++

"Eh, I give up." Rainbow said blankly, kicking a rock.

I don't even think anypony believes these rumors anymore! she thought.

With that, she flew up to a cloud, laid back, and closed her eyes.

++++++

"Nopony believes them anymore!?" A figure whispered, taking down notes.

"Whelp, better kick it up a notch then!"

++++++

"Spike, can you get me another book? I'm too lazy to get one myself." Twilight said, putting on an innocent grin as Spike glared at her.

"......Not after last night." Spike said angrily before walking away.

Eh, I guess that's fair. Twilight thought.

She levitated a random book in front of her and began reading for a few minutes, before Spike came in again.

"Yeah, Spike? Did you need something?"

"Rarity's in trouble! We need to go help her!" he said quickly.

"What? What happened?" Twilight put on a slightly worried tone.

"Umm, her house is on fire!!" Spike yelled, running out of the door.

Twilight slammed the book shut and jumped out of the building after Spike.

"Wait up, Spike!"

She caught up with Spike and saw the building was indeed, on fire, but no one was freaking out or doing anything.

"What is wrong with these ponies?!" she said as she barged into the building, having Spike wait outside.

She set up a force field around her and immediately went into Rarity's room, seeing her passed out on her sofa. She got close to her and had the field pick her up before she ran out of the building. Twilight dispelled the force field and set Rarity on the ground, where she woke up with a gasp.

And before Twilight could say anything, Rarity rose up and hugged her. Twilight blushed slightly and tried to rip off her clingy friend as she talked.

"Thank you, FILLY FRIEND." Rarity said loudly, putting enough emphasis on the word ''filly friend'' for anyone within a mile radius to hear.

They all suddenly stopped, and began whispering to each other while they looked at the two.

"WHAT?! I'M NOT YOUR, YOU'RE NOT, WHAT?!" Twilight yelled, teleporting away from her friend and running.

Seconds later, she looked back, and she could've sworn that she saw Rarity's boutique actually disappear, out of thin air! Eventually she had reached her house and walked in, seeing Spike walking down the stairs in a calm, collective fashion.

"Oh, hey Twilight." he said calmly.

Twilight just stared at Spike angrily, her expression similar to this.

She then just threw herself onto the table and began reading her book once more, chugging down her tea and reading sentences furiously. For a moment, she remembered the event that took place a few seconds ago and blushed, still keeping an irritated look.

"Stupid emotions."

"Twilight, what's wrong?"

Twilight simply gave him a hard glare. And if looks could kill, then he would've been worse off than those people that crash in an airplane right into the side of a mountain placed conveniently right in the middle of a frozen tundra where only a few people are forced to survive by eventually eating each other and using the bones of the people who died to fight off hungry wolves who pick off every single person one by one until the last man standing is forced to fight the alpha wolf and the whole pack with sticks and tree sap before he is brutally murdered right next to a small tiny town that no one knew about that had tons of guns and wolf-protection related things to fight off an entire army of wolves. Yeah, it would've been pretty bad.

"What? What did I do?"

Twilight growled.

"Uh, if you need me, I'll be over, somewhere!" Spike said nervously before running up the stairs.

The End. (Seriously, why do I put this at the end of each chapter? Oh, and sorry for the late and short update again, I keep getting stupid Algebra homework! But I'm on break now, so expect at least two chapters next week!)

The Liar

"So what, I ate too much chocolate? Why would that even matter?" Lyra asked with an irritated tone.

Bon Bon frowned, "Becaaause, you left me to do all the chores around the house while you were in a sugar coma!"

"Oh, so what, I suppose you were sleeping on the floor with chocolate lining your mouth and wrappers everywhere on accident? Do you really think I'm stupid? May I remind you who has the Bachelor's degree here?" Lyra argued.

"Hey, I know I saw a price tag on that thing!"

"Yes, because there is store that sells fake degrees. Might as well sell awesome job descriptions too! Or maybe IDs!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quit with your smart-flank attitude, it's getting on my nerves."

"Your mom's getting on my nerves." Lyra stuck her tongue out.

"Yeah, REEEEAL mature, Lyra. Real mature." Bon Bon rolled her eyes.

Lyra grinned and got her friend in a headlock.

"You know, you're cute when you're angry." she chuckled.

Upon hearing that, Bon Bon yelped and squirmed away from her friend very quickly.

"Are you turning gay on me, Lyra!?"

Lyra laughed, "Coming from the pony who has posters of mares in her room? That's rich!"

Bon Bon blushed, "It's not for the mares! It's for the clothes! The clothes, Lyra!"

"Mhmm. Yeah, keep lying to yourself, Bon Bon. And while you think about that, I'll be out, doing other stuff."

With that, Lyra left the building, leaving Bon Bon to process what just happened.

Lyra just HAD to figure out this mystery, she just had to! She didn't know how, but she would, because she couldn't get the stupid unsolved case out of her mind!

Then, before she could delve deeper into her mind, a lavender-colored object whizzed past her.

"Uh-hey! Watch it!" Lyra yelled, waving her hoof in the air.

The unicorn didn't stop or turn around, but simply sped up, running away from-

"Parity?" Lyra tilted her head.

She noticed the white unicorn had a worried look on her face, then it had immediately formed into a devilish grin, and she ran away.

"I think I found a cluuuuuue!" Lyra hummed, taking a detective-looking hat out and placing it on her head.

Then she ran off towards the magical marshmallow, unaware of the pink party pony running after her.

"HEEEEY! THAT'S MY HAAAAT!" she yelled.

Lyra followed Rarity through the town, to the Everfree Forest and eventually to a large tree. Unaware that she was being followed, Rarity transformed into a large, black alicorn, as known as-

"The Changeling Queen!" Pinkie gasped, running away.

Lyra looked back at the pony before seeing thousands of eyes on her.

Lyra's jaw dropped.

"OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

++++++

"Twilight, why are you mad at me?! What did I do?!"

Twilight simply shook her head in anger. Then, as soon as she was going to speak-

"TWILIGHT!!!! THE CHANGELING QUEEN IS BACK!" Pinkie yelled, bursting through the door.

"What? Pinkie? What do you-"

"HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" Lyra yelled, running away from a horde of Changelings. "SOME PONY HEEEEELP ME!!!!"

Twilight burst through the door and levitated Lyra to her house, closing the door and locking it immediately.

Screams were heard outside.

"Spike! You're in charge until I get back! I'm going to get some help! Stay safe!" Twilight ran outside.

Spike held a dumbfounded look on his face. He looked back at the two weeping ponies behind him.

"What DID I do?"

++++++

"APPLEJAAACK!" Twilight yelled, seeing the farm pony already defending her barn.

She turned to see her friend, then got kicked in the face, causing her to continue fighting. Twilight dug her hooves in the ground and snarled, using her magic to help her friend.

++++++

Princess Celestia,

We need your help! Ponyville is being attacked by Changelings!

-Spike

Spike huffed hurriedly and sent the rushed letter, looking back at the two mares blocking the door.

"I sent the letter!" he yelled.

"GOOD!" Lyra replied with a strained tone. "Pinkie! I need more furniture!"

Pinkie quit hyperventilating and began placing furniture by the door.

"WHERE IS PRINCESS CELESTIA?!" Pinkie yelled.

++++++

The two mares breathed heavily as they stood by the fallen Changelings.

"Applejack-we need, to find the others and get-" Twilight huffed, " the Elements of Harmony!"

Applejack nodded, "Ah'll go get them. Ya stay here and protect Mah family!"

Twilight nodded and ran into the home, while Applejack began running into Ponyville.

++++++

*POOF*

A scroll fell before Princess Celestia as she was walking. She picked it up with curiosity, because she knew Twilight already sent a Friendship Report. Her curiosity soon grew into anxiety as she already began running over to the Elements of Harmony. Upon arriving, she saw the Changeling Queen guarding them.

"Chrysalis! I thought Shining Armor got rid of you!"

Queen Chrysalis grinned, "Well you thought wrong, Celestia."

"That's PRINCESS Celestia to you!" she snarled.

"Oh, when I'm done with you, you won't be a princess anymore."

"Oh? And how do you propose to do that?"

"Well you see, after my, 'setback' during the wedding, I discovered a more powerful energy source than love." she chuckled. "Confusion. And no one knows of the power it yields because of how little there is of it. But after some foolish fillies began a rumor, I noticed large amounts of it sweeping through that pitiful town, and I began to pitch in, spreading some undercover here and there. And now, after months of waiting, I am here to reap my reward.-"

"Not so fast. Because now you foolishly revealed your plans once again, and now," (Princess Luna, Shining Armor AND Princess Cadence entered the room, horns glowing.) "I have backup."

Queen Chrysalis laughed again.

"Newsflash," (A large being made of multiple animals appeared with a maniacal grin.) "So do I."

"Discord! You were defeated by the Elements!"

"Actually, I wasn't. It was simply a Changeling that Queen Chrysalis here generously offered to me."

Princess Celestia growled, lowering herself in a menacing stance that showed she was ready to attack at any moment. Everyone else followed, aside from Discord, who readied himself in a stance similar to a runner.

"So." he snarled, "Looks like we got ourselves a little standoff."

The End. (Sorry for the cliffhanger!)

The Battle

"RAINBOW! RAINBOOOW!" Applejack called towards the sky.

"Uh, I'M KIND OF BUSY HERE!" Rainbow yelled back, tackling a Changeling to the ground.

"Oh, right! Sorry!" Applejack brought her lasso out and began picking off the changelings.

++++++

"SPIKE! I DON'T THINK THIS BARRICADE'S GOING TO LAST MUCH LONGER!" Lyra yelled with a worried tone.

"GO UPSTAIRS! I'LL TAKE CARE OF THEM!" Spike pointed a finger towards the stairs.

Lyra shook her head, "YOU'RE NOT INVINCIBLE! I'M GOING TO FIGHT TOO!"

Pinkie nodded reluctantly, pulling her Party Cannon out and pointing it at the door. "ME TOO!"

The three nodded and set up tables to serve as cover, all awaiting the Changelings to break in...but it grew silent. Minutes later, Rainbow Dash burst through the door with Applejack behind her.

"GAH!" Pinkie yelled, setting off her cannon.

Confetti and balloons covered the two mares by the door.

"Pinkie." Rainbow said blankly, "It's us."

Pinkie poked her head from the tables and lit up.

"Dashie! Applejack!" she ran over and hugged her friends.

Rainbow Dash smiled, "Good to see you too, Pinkie."

Applejack straightened her hat. "Ah hate to break up yer little reunion, but we should go get Flutters, Twilight and Rarity!"

"I'm coming too!" Spike said, striking a heroic pose.

"Me too!" Lyra said happily.

"Well thanks, Ms-?" Applejack tilted her head.

"Heartstrings. Lyra Heartstrings." she grinned.

++++++

"Twilight. whut's goin' on in the castle?" Applebloom asked, pointing at it threw the window.

Twilight looked out and saw the top room of the castle, lighting up different colors and emitting smoke.

Twilight got worried, "I, I don't know Applebloom."

Suddenly, the door opened, revealing the others.

Twilight turned and grinned. "Nice, Applejack! Now we just have to get the Elements of Harmony!

A hoof flew up. "Oh, oh! I wanna help too!" Lyra said.

"What's with you and wanting to help us?" Rainbow asked.

"Eh, I dunno. I'm bored."

"Er, okay then?" Twilight said. "Anyways, Spike, I'm leaving you here again. I doubt Canterlot is any better than this."

Spike nodded.

"Alright! Girls, off to Canterlot!

++++++

"You'll never win, Discord!"

"Oh, I know, but I'll at least have fun winning in not winning." he grinned.

"Huh?"

Queen Chrysalis grinned. "Thanks for the boost." Then she knocked down Princess Luna.

"Argh! Stupid head!" Celestia cursed.

"Girls! Go help the Princesses! I'll go get the Elements!"

"Ya don't have to tell me twice!" Applejack said, running into battle alongside Rainbow Dash.

The others nodded and ran off. Twilight teleported herself towards the Elements, seeing the door was still locked.

"Princess Celestia! The door!"

"Oh! Right!" she smiled and slammed Discord into the ground and casually walked over to the door to open it, before walking back and wrestling him.

Twilight stared, slack-jawed at Princess Celestia before gaining her composure and grabbing the Elements.

"Girls! OVER HERE!" Twilight put on her headpiece.

Fluttershy was the first to head towards Twilight, but was stopped by Discord turning her sour. She lost her colors immediately and stared at Discord angrily.

"NO. PONY. TOUCHES MEEEE!!!" she screamed, ceasing all the fighting and charging at Discord.

"AHH!" he yelled, stopping her midway and turning her back.

Fluttershy regained her colors and smiled sweetly. "Thank you."

She ran over to Twilight and the fighting continued. The other Elements followed soon after, along with Lyra. They all put on their Elements and Lyra frowned.

"I don't get a cool necklace-thingy?" she asked sadly.

"Well, uh, you're not an Ele-"

"Here ya go!" Pinkie exclaimed, pulling a necklace with Lyra's Cutie Mark on it and giving it to her.

She bit into it, "Is this real gold!?"

"Eeyup!" Pinkie smiled.

"Sa-weeet." she said, putting on her 'Element' on.

"Alright girls! And, Lyra? Formation!"

"Where do I go!?" Lyra asked, running around.

Rainbow Dash shrugged.

"Nice." Lyra said disappointingly.

Twilight's eyes began to glow, and the Elements were levitated, along with Lyra.

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! WHAT'S GOING ON!?" Lyra yelled, flailing her limbs around.

Discord saw the formations and frowned.

"Chrysalis! They're formating!"

She looked at the Elements and nodded, lighting up her horn and emitting a large beam of light. Not soon after, loads of Changelings swarmed into the building and camouflaged as Discord and Queen Chrysalis.

Twilight stopped, and the other Elements fell down gently, while Lyra face planted into the ground.

"Where are the real ones?!"

The four Royal ponies started clearing out the Changelings, and Discord and Queen Chrysalis jumped out of the window unnoticed. Not soon after, the Changelings retreated, following the Princess and Discord into the Everfree Forest. All the ponies gathered around the window and watched as they left.

"COWARDS!" Rainbow Dash yelled, waving her hoof into the air angrily.

After seeing them leave, Princess Celestia moved away from the window and began walking away.

"Princess! Where are you going!?" Twilight asked.

Princess Celestia pointed a hoof forward while she walked.

"I've had enough of this, 'saving the world' stuff. I'm going to go play Haylo 4 or Call Of Cutie: Blank Ops 2, whichever comes first."

Princess Luna beamed and ran after her sister.

"Wait for me!"

The two Royal Sisters left, leaving Shining Armor and Princess Cadence with the Elements.

Shining Armor was the first to speak, "Well, it was nice seeing you, Twi. Even if it was in a situation like this.."

Twilight snickered, "You too, BBBFF. Nice seeing you too, Cadence!"

They both got in position and did their 'secret' hoofshake.

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!" the two said in unison.

"Uh, what was that?" Lyra asked.

Twilight smiled, "It was nothing."

Then the couple left, leaving Lyra and the Elements behind. As they started to walk out of the castle, Twilight spoke, looking at Lyra with curiosity.

"So what Element are you? I thought there were only six, but the spell said otherwise."

Lyra shrugged, "I dunno, but this necklace is pretty awesome." she picked it up and began examining it.

"Maybe it's the Element of Awesome."

Rainbow Dash interrupted, "If there was an Element of Awesome, it would be me!"

Lyra gave a sly smile. "Fate says otherwise, Loyalty." she teased.

"I would still be the Element of Awesome, though! 'cause I'm awesome!"

*Cough*"Conceited."*Cough**Cough* Lyra smirked.

"Hey! If anyone's conceited, it's you! You said you would be the Element of Awesome!"

"So did you, but I didn't go around, saying, 'Oh, look at me! I'm the most awesome mare in Ponyville! All of you suck!'" Lyra pointed.

"Shut up." Rainbow growled.

Lyra laughed.

Twilight stopped at the train station and looked at Lyra.

"Well, I guess since you're now an Element, we should start talking more, to actually find out what Element you actually are."

Lyra nodded. "Yeah, that sounds cool."

"YAY!" Pinkie exclaimed, "Now I can throw you a 'You're an Element that mysteriously appeared out of nowhere' party!"

"Wait, but shouldn't YOU know what Element I am? I mean, you pulled it out of YOUR mane!" Lyra asked.

Pinkie looked up at her head.

"It wasn't MY decision, it was my mane's! I'll never know how it does it."

"Err, okay?"

++++++

"Bon Bon! I'm home from saving Equestria from utter destruction! And I got a cool necklace, too!" No answer.

"Bon Bon?" Lyra called, searching the house for her friend. She came to her room and saw her passed out on the bed, chocolate lining her mouth. HER chocolate. Lyra grunted and got in her bed, throwing the wrappers on the ground and pushing Bon Bon on the floor with a loud THUMP.

"Hope you enjoy the headache in the morning." she grinned, looking at the box.

*CONTAINS ALCOHOLIC FLUIDS*

The End.

++++++

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

Lyra opened the door.

"Hey, Lyra! You want to play Poker with me and the others?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"No thanks, I don't like losing bits. Maybe if you didn't have that stupid smirk showing that you know how to play Poker like a pro, I would've played." Lyra closed the door.

Now it's THE END. (Seriously.)