The Seventh Element

“Now, don’t panic,” Twilight said, clearly on the verge of panicking.

“Why do you think the book just burned up like that?” he asked.

“Some spellbooks are only meant to be used once.  I didn’t know that was one of them, though.  There wasn’t a warning or anything,” Twilight explained.  Argent sat down, once again with an odd calm that baffled the young mare.  This ability to perform—or rather do remarkably little with no stress was something unique to Argent.  He was a devout optimist who thought that simply being alive at the end of a day made it a good one.  So, in this case, he may have been stranded in a dimension other than his own for an indefinite amount of time, but at least he was alive.

“How can you be so calm at a time like this?” Twilight asked.

“I already said I was staying here for a while anyway, didn’t I?  The way I see it, we can cross the getting-me-back-home bridge when we come to it.  For now, I’m on vacation.” Argent replied.

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Vacation?  But…” she stopped.  Clearly this weird being came from a place where urgency wasn’t that important.  That or he was a unique case.  Regardless, Twilight internally came to terms with the dilemma, and decided to trust the unicorn she had known for a total of five hours.

“Never mind.” Twilight continued, “Well, if you’re on vacation, I can at least help you meet some ponies to have fun with.  Come with me, I’ll introduce you to my friends!”

Argent was about to suggest resting, seeing as he was the one who had just gone through the ordeal of spatial distortion unlike anyone before him.  Twilight could talk up a storm, too.  Conversing with her about their respective worlds introduced a bit of fatigue on his new body as well.

That all seemed to disappear with the proposition of meeting the rest of the “Mane 6”, the name the bronies gave to the bearers of the Elements of Harmony.  Rest could wait; there was history to be made.

Closest in proximity to Twilight’s library was Carousel Boutique, Rarity’s dress shop and home, and it was where the pair of unicorns stopped first.  Even though Argent already told Twilight that he knew all about them, she still gave him a bit of caution when they arrived at her door,

“Now, Rarity can be a little… judgmental, but that doesn’t mean she’s a bad pony.  Just don’t point out anything about her mane, coat, eyes, makeup, or pretty much anything about her.  She won’t stop talking about it and we won’t get a word in until sundown.”

Argent nodded understandingly.  Shortly after Twilight knocked on the door, it glowed blue and opened, revealing a slightly flustered Rarity.

“Oh, hello, Twilight, dear,” she sighed, “Please, do come in.  I just finished up a very large order, so forgive me if I look a tad flushed.  I’m pleased you came by, though.  I needed a breather after all that sewing work.”  It was only then that she noticed Argent standing behind Twilight.  He was idly surveying the interior of the boutique, taking in details, as he had only seen some frames from the episodes the shop was featured in.

“Hello there, are you a friend of Twilight’s?” Rarity said.

Argent’s attention switched from a mannequin with a recently completed dress to the pony that had just called him.

“Oh, um, yes.  My name is Argent Schild.  I’m pleased to meet you, Rarity.” He instinctively bowed—well, he did what he assumed was a bow for a pony.  Rarity, taken aback, put her hoof to her mouth coquettishly.

“Oh, my,” she said, “Your manner betrays your, um, casual appearance.”

“It’s natural, isn’t it?  Men shouldn’t use informal introductions for a lady, even if they do look as ‘casual’ as me,” Argent replied, silently realizing that was quite out of character for himself.

Twilight furrowed her brow.

“You didn’t bow for me,” she contested.

“Yes, but I came through a dimensional rift when I met you.  That kind of tends to throw manners out the window.” Twilight blew on her bangs.  The feeling that Rarity got special treatment made the white unicorn smile a little.  She was probably trying to hold back a bigger grin for her friend’s sake.

“What brings you and your very polite friend here?” Rarity asked, putting emphasis on the “very.”  “You said something about a dimensional rift of some sort?”

“Yes,” Twilight nodded, “Argent here came through a portal I opened when I was researching space-time spells.  He’s from an entirely different universe!”

“A different universe?” Rarity echoed.

“Exactly.” Twilight nodded.  “He wasn’t even a pony before he came through.  He was a strange two legged creature called a ‘human.’  We don’t know what caused the change, but Argent said he’s fine with it.”

“We hit a snag when the portal closed and the book used to open it burned up into ashes, so I currently don’t have a way to get back, but as I told Twilight, I’m on vacation anyway.  We can figure out a way to return when I’m ready to go home.” Argent added.

“So right now I’m just taking him around town to meet you and the others.  Do you want to come with us?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, I would most certainly like that.  Before that, however…” Rarity stared at Argent.  He looked to his sides, and then pointed to himself with his hoof.  “Let’s see if we can’t tidy up that mane and tail for you.  In its present state it looks positively dreadful—no offense.”

“None taken.” Argent shook his head, “I could barely keep my hair combed when I was a human.  I could use a good cut.”

Rarity got to work on Argent’s mane-do and tail, and after a short while, he looked much more “presentable” as Rarity called it.  What was once a long, red-brown mane that had trouble staying out of his eyes was now much more kempt, combed, and of a medium length that looked contained but flowing.  His tail followed suit.  He thought he heard her say something about being “just Fluttershy’s type,” but he dismissed it as mare talk.

The next stop was Sugarcube Corner to see Pinkie Pie.  Argent was particularly excited to meet her; he could witness her physics-defying antics and general Pinkie-ness firsthand.  Or was it firsthoof?

The horned trio arrived at Sugarcube Corner and entered it only to find it completely dark.  Twilight was about to use an illumination spell when the lights suddenly flicked on and the three found themselves surrounded by a plethora of pastel ponies.

“SURPRISE!” they yelled.  It certainly was a surprise.  What this random party was for only Pinkie Pie knew.  The pink earth pony in question wasted no time in zeroing in on the soiree’s main guest, Argent.  Her big, perpetually excited blue eyes were suddenly nearly touching his own.

“Were you surprised?  Huh, huh, huh?  Were ya?  ‘Cause I’d be surprised if I was just being shown around town and I walked into a bakery where a whole bunch of ponies suddenly yelled ‘SURPRISE!’ Oh, silly me, I totally forgot to introduce myself.  I’m Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you, pony I’ve never met before!”

“Pinkie, how did you… when did you… what!”  Pinkie’s insane ability to know everything that was happening in Ponyville at any given time, then instantly plan and throw a party for anything remotely worth celebrating had confused Twilight from day one.  It shouldn’t be physically possible.  Her other friends and the townsfolk taught her to chalk it up to “Pinkie just being Pinkie” most times, though.  It didn’t stop her from wondering occasionally.

“Well, I had just finished changing Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake and then I looked outside the window and saw you and Rarity with a stallion I’d never seen before, so I thought to myself ‘he must be new, because I’ve never seen him around before, and I know everypony in Ponyville, but I don’t know him yet, and if he’s new, he might not have a lot of friends, I mean he’s with Twilight and Rarity but you can have lots more friends than just two, so what can I do to make that guy a lot of friends really quick—I know, a party!’  And that’s where you come in!”  Pinkie stared with a cheesy grin like Argent, Twilight, and Rarity were supposed to instantly comprehend what she just said.

“How long ago was this?” Rarity asked.

“About twenty minutes.” Pinkie replied.

“I give up.” Rarity threw her hooves in the air then trotted off to mingle with the other partygoers.

“So who’re you, mysterious pony who Rarity kinda likes?”

Argent pretended he didn’t hear the last part of that sentence.

“My name is Argent, Argent Schild.  It’s nice to meet you, Pinkie Pie.” he bowed.

Twilight frowned.

“Ooh, you’re neat!  Where are ya from, Argie?” Pinkie began bouncing up and down.

Argent guessed that was her way of being charmed, though he had no basis to think so.  Come to think of it, he hadn’t bowed much at all when he was a human.  He wasn’t normally this formal, either.  Why was he so proper now?  Dismissing the thought in light of the fact that he was in the middle of a party thrown in his favor, Argent went on to explain everything to Pinkie just as he had to Rarity.  He wasn’t sure she picked up on everything, though, because she just kept bouncing as he was talking, occasionally telling him things she thought were fun.

“You wanna play some party games?  They’re fun, fun, fun!” Pinkie proposed.

“I’d like to, but Twilight was showing me around town before this.  As great as this party is, I kind of want to get back to that, too,” Argent answered.

“Okie dokie lokie, then!” With that, the Element of Laughter bounced off to play with other ponies.

“Rarity, we’re about to head over to Fluttershy’s place.  Are you coming?” Twilight called to Rarity.

“So sorry, darling, but I’m having the most delightful conversation with Bon Bon at the moment.  Shall I join you for dinner tonight, then?”  Rarity said.

“Sounds great!” Twilight smiled. “See you at 6 o’clock sharp!”

Dinner.  The thought of food had lightly crossed Argent’s mind when he was contemplating whether to go through the portal to Equestria, but he hadn’t pondered a change of diet in detail.  There was one huge difference between ponies and humans that might take a lot of explaining, followed by frequent subsequent reassuring.

Humans eat meat.

Argent was fond of meat, too.  How this fallacy slipped his mind was beyond him.  He began making mental notes to avoid the words “bacon,” “steak,” and “fried chicken” among other things to prevent himself from jeopardizing his new friendships—and his only ticket back home.  Of course, it didn’t help that he and Twilight were en route to animal central of Ponyville.  Now, he wouldn’t even consider eating the majority of the critters that stayed at Fluttershy’s cottage.  They were mostly songbirds and rodents.  There were chickens, though, and while he didn’t often think about an animal becoming food when he ate meat since it came pre-killed, skinned, and packaged in his world, such thoughts might be a bit less escapable when he considered the fact that in order to get meat in Equestria, he would have to do the duty of preparing it.

These were his thoughts as he idly chatted with Twilight on the way to Fluttershy’s house.

Twilight knocked on the pegasus’ door, which Fluttershy promptly answered.

“Oh, hi Twilight!” she said in her small voice that had captivated the hearts of millions of bronies worldwide.  Once Fluttershy spotted Argent, she shrunk back to peeking around the door.

Right, stranger anxiety, Argent thought.

“There’s no need to be scared, Fluttershy.  This is my new friend, Argent Schild.  He’s from another dimension,” Twilight smiled.

Argent was unsure of whether this was to put the cream yellow pegasus at ease or whether the fact that she still got giddy from the product of her reality-altering experiment earlier.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Fluttershy.” Argent bowed once again.

“Oh, my, thank you,” Fluttershy blushed.

“You sure do like to bow, Argent,” Twilight pointed out.

“I can’t help myself.” Argent shrugged. “It just feels like the right thing to do when meeting someone.  It’s strange, though, I never acted like this when I was a human.  I’m not saying I was a rude person, but I certainly didn’t bow to everyone.”

“Well, if anything, it’s better that he got more polite after becoming a pony, isn’t it?  It wouldn’t be good if he turned into a monster or something scary like that.” Fluttershy said.

There was a short silence.

“Oh, I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to be so rude.  Please, come in.” Fluttershy opened the door to let her two friends in.  As usual, her cottage was abundant with life.  Birds chirped and flitted about and rodents scampered around, some assisting with housework by dusting or cleaning.  Angel, Fluttershy’s pet rabbit, seemed to be directing some of the activity, though it was unclear exactly how active his role was since it mostly consisted of him waving off other animals as he munched on a bowl of nuts and fruit.

“Don’t mind the animals; they’re just helping with a little bit of spring cleaning, is all,” Fluttershy told them.

“It’s all right, I love animals,” Argent replied, holding up his hoof to allow a sparrow to land on it.  He quickly corrected himself, “I don’t mean I eat them or anything, I mean I get along with them well.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Of course you wouldn’t eat them, that’s just ridiculous.”

Thankfully for Argent, this topic didn’t get a chance for elaboration, as the sound of two arguing ponies permeated through Fluttershy’s cottage door.

“I told you we don’t need to be here.  Fluttershy’s got her animals to help her every year!” one voice complained.

“And Ah told y’all it don’t matter who’s helpin’ already.  Ya gotta help yer friends out every once in a while.  Honestly, RD, sometimes Ah don’t know if yer the Element of Loyalty or the Element of Laziness,” the other voice retorted.

Inside, Fluttershy floated over to answer the door.  Only two ponies she knew argued like that.  It was okay, though, Fluttershy knew that their arguing meant that they were getting along fine.

“Rainbow Dash, Applejack!  I’m so glad you could make it,” she hugged both of them.

“Yeah, well we woulda been here earlier if somepony weren’t so darn reluctant to do a little bit o’ manual labor,” Applejack rolled her eyes at Rainbow Dash, who simply stuck her tongue out in response.

“It’s okay, girls.  I’m just glad you could be here to help.  I don’t know if I’ll need it, though, since I got a couple of unexpected visitors myself.” Fluttershy gestured inside to where Twilight and Argent were waiting.

“Well if it isn’t Twilight and… uh, who’re you?” Rainbow Dash flew up to Argent, whose bowing had become instinct by now.

“I’m Argent Schild.” he said, “I suppose this saves Twilight and I time finding you two ourselves.”

“Whadaya mean?” Applejack asked.

Twilight went through the process of explaining who Argent was and what they were doing to Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy once again.

“Mighty pleased to make yer acquaintance, Argent,” Applejack tipped her hat in respect, “It’s not everyday ya get to meet somepony from a whole ‘nother dimension, though I guess ya weren’t ‘somepony’ before.”

“Can we not get into a science talk right now?  My head is hurting already,” Rainbow Dash sighed, putting a hoof to her head.

“Right,” Twilight frowned; visibly disappointed that she would not be able to turn this meeting of friends into a lecture.  “Oh!” she suddenly perked up, “Fluttershy, what time is it?”

“Um, it’s about a quarter to six.  Why?”

“Argent, we have to get back to the library for dinner with Rarity!” The unicorn teleported away only to return a second later because she forgot her passenger.

“While Twilight is forgetting things, would you girls like to come with us?”

“Heck yeah, we would!  I’m starving!” Rainbow hastily agreed.

“Hold on there, partner,” Applejack interrupted her, “Y’all sure there’s gonna be enough grub to feed us all?”

“I’m sure Spike and I can figure something out,” Twilight assured them.  With a large burst of magic, Twilight whisked all of the ponies away to the library.  Their sudden arrival knocked the chef’s hat off of a busy baby dragon, who nearly dropped dishes full of food en route to the round table.

“Geez, Twi, watch where you land, will you?” Spike said.  He then looked around at the number of dinner guests, “Huh, I guess Pinkie Pie was right when she said there were going to be a lot of ponies over here.  Good thing I made so much food.”

“Pinkie?” Twilight parroted, “How would she know—”

“Hi, girls!  And not-girl!” Eerily on cue, Pinkie popped out of nowhere to greet her friends.

“How did you know we’d be here?” Fluttershy asked the question that needed to be asked first and foremost.  The pink earth pony giggled,

“Oh, that’s easy!  At Argie’s ‘Welcome to the Dimension Party’ I heard Rarity say she was going to Twilight’s place for dinner, but since Twilight and Argie already left I couldn’t ask them if I could come, too, so I asked Rarity if I could tag along with her!  Then Rarity said ‘That’s all right, the three of us will be fine on our own,’ then I said ‘But dinner is more fun with lots of ponies!’ Then Rarity sighed and just walked off, and then I thought that Argie kinda thinks like me, so he’ll like a bunch of ponies at dinner, too, so when he and Twilight are out meeting the others he’ll probably ask them if they want to come to eat with us, and they’ll say ‘Yes!’ because they’re our bestest friends and bestest friends love to eat together,” she took a deep breath, “So that’s when I came over here to tell Spike we’d better go shopping for food ‘cause there’d be a lot of ponies over for dinner, and Spike just shrugged and said ‘Whatever you say, Pinkie,’ and then we went and got food, came back, cooked it, and then poof!  You guys are here!”

“But that doesn’t explain how—”

“Ah wouldn’t dive too much farther into it, sugarcube,” Applejack shook her head, interrupting Rainbow Dash.  Argent made a mental note that he was the first human to hear Applejack call someone “sugarcube” in person.  Or was it in pony?

Promptly at six, Rarity arrived, clad in an elegant evening dress.  When asked what the occasion was, she hastily replied that she anticipated that Pinkie would go about inviting everypony anyway, and a lady did not show up casually to a dinner party, even if it was among her closest friends.

At the table, the moment of truth came for Argent.  Spread before him was a full course meal of various vegetables, dishes fashioned out of hay, an orchid stem soup garnished with petals, and fruit juice for drinks.  For foods that Argent had never seen before, he had to hand it to Spike and Pinkie Pie making them look appetizing.  While he unsteadily levitated just about everything on the table to the plate (this was only his second instance of using magic in the day, something which he picked up surprisingly quickly), he only heartily attacked those foods he was used to eating: the vegetables consisting of carrots, peppers, turnips, and potatoes.  By the time he had finished those, all of his other companions had nearly cleared their plates, quickly making him aware that he was the odd one out.  Five of the ponies stared at him in confusion, while Spike seemed indifferent as he still worked at a rather large sapphire for his dessert.  Only Twilight had an expression of general understanding,

“I’m sorry, Argent.  I guess a human’s diet is different than a pony’s.  I should have asked you what kinds of things you ate before we came to dinner,” she said.

“I see y’all ate yer vegetables, though.  You got carrots ‘n things back in yer world?” Applejack asked.  Argent nodded,

“Yeah, we have everything that’s here in my world, too, but humans don’t normally make meals of hay and flowers.” His stomach dropped.  He had hoped he would be able to get away with eating what he could without any questions, but even as a pony in a world full of ponies, he stood out too much.

“So what do you eat?” It had to be Fluttershy asking that question, Argent cursed in his thoughts.  The last thing he wanted was to traumatize the poor pegasus.  He could withhold the parts of a human’s menu that weren’t meat, but even as nice as these Ponyville residents were, he knew they’d be angry if they found out later in some haphazard way and he lost their trust.  The former human sighed deeply, bracing himself for whatever responses he was about to elicit,

“We humans eat vegetables and fruit like you do.  We eat breads, pastas, and sweet things like cakes and pie, too.  An important part of our diet, though, is, um… meat.” Argent’s voice got very small toward the end of his sentence.

“Pardon?” Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow.  It was no use hiding it anymore,

“Meat!  Chicken, cows, pigs, fish, and other animals!  Humans eat meat!” As expected, everyone at the table gasped.  Even Spike dropped his gem in surprise.  Also as feared, Fluttershy fainted, and Rarity was close to it.  The remaining conscious ponies suddenly looked very apprehensive.

“You don’t eat p-ponies, do you?” Rainbow Dash asked cautiously.  Argent defended himself,

“No, no, not at all!” he waved his hooves, “Look, it’s true I eat meat, but for most humans ponies aren’t even on the menu.  I mean, I don’t have to eat other animals—lots of people don’t.  I don’t even know how the stuff I didn’t try yet tastes, so maybe I’ve got a whole new bunch of foods that I’ll like!  Also, we don’t even have pegasi or unicorns in my world.  The only ponies we have are small and are normally pets or for riding!”

Argent’s words both assuaged the situation and opened up an entirely different wound.

“You use us as pets and mounts?  Well, I never!” Rarity flipped her hair.  At least Argent didn’t need to worry about inter-species romance anymore.  The others were about to verbally assault (physically for Rainbow Dash) Argent when Spike burped up a scroll.  Argent let out the biggest sigh of his life.  He was lucky the Elements of Harmony would drop anything and everything when a letter from Princess Celestia came.

Wait, a letter from Princess Celestia?  That meant what was about to come next was either really good or really bad.

Twilight unfurled the scroll and scanned the page, shooting deadly glances at Argent every few lines or so.  After she had scanned the letter five or six times she looked around at her friends—Fluttershy had just recovered—before finally locking on to Argent.  With a furrowed brow, she said,

“We’re all off to Canterlot in the morning.  The princesses want you.”