My Fair Pony

by Sable Tip

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 2880

Applejack and Rainbow Dash challenge each other to fit in at the Grand Galloping Gala...

It's almost time for the Grand Galloping Gala, and the Mane Six know what to expect this time. Problem is that neither Applejack nor Rainbow Dash really fit in to an event like the Gala. So, naturally, they decide to have a competition - who can fit in best at the Gala? Will either of them be able to mingle with the Canterlot elite? They have every reason to be on their best behaviour - after all, the forfeit for the loser is almost too terrible to put into words...

Now with a cover picture, hopefully soon with a good cover picture!

Published 2012-10-24 06:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-07 17:52:03 UTC

The Bet

“Hurry up, Rainbow! Y’all are always late to our picnics.”

The cerulean Pegasus grumbled to herself at Applejack’s reprimand. It wasn’t that she was late – she was the fastest flier in all Equestria, and if she wanted to be somewhere by a particular time, she would be there at that time.

The trouble was Tank. Rainbow Dash’s pet tortoise was more or less the exact opposite of his mistress, and unfortunately that meant that Rainbow took way longer than she liked to get to the weekly pet picnic. It didn’t help that Blossomforth and Thunderlane had taken the morning off, both of them apparently having contracted laryngitis at the same time, meaning Rainbow had to clear the sky that morning by herself before going home to fetch Tank.

“I’m coming already! Jeez, you could be a bit more thankful to me for making sure it was clear for the picnic today rather than soaking us all…”

“Girls, please. There’s really no need for you to squabble.” Twilight smiled as she pulled out her lunch. She had decided to treat herself today – she’d made a daisy and petunia salad, but had given it a bit of extra zing with some rose and lilac petals. The sweet-smelling lunch drew Rarity’s jealous gaze at first, until Spike drew a second portion of the salad out for the alabaster unicorn.

“For you, m’lady.” The baby dragon always enjoyed these picnics – it was one of the few times that he was able to socialise with all of Twilight’s closest friend(including, of course, Rarity) without needing an excuse. PeeWee and Owlowiscious were flitting around above the park, watched by Fluttershy, who had a secret soft spot for the phoenix – even more so than she did for most animals. The sole exception was Angel Bunny, who knew full well that he would never be replaced in the timid Pegasus’ eyes, and was idly passing the time by bouncing a soft ball off of Gummy’s unblinking face.

Pinkie, unusually, was taking a short nap. Her nigh-infinite energy reserves had finally met their match, in the form of the Cakes’ twins, who she had watched while their parents were in Fillydelphia on business. The exuberant pink pony would normally have had no problems with the twins over a weekend, but they had just started teething, and the resulting noise and chaos were too much even for Pinkie’s legendary enthusiasm.

Applejack chuckled to herself as Rainbow finally touched down with Tank. “Y’all can relax, sugarcube. You know Ah don’t mean anything by it, and these things just wouldn’ be the same if it went back to being just the five of us.”

Any further conversation was cut short by a sudden belch from Spike, who had been in the middle of presenting the salad to Rarity like a page presenting a tribute to a queen.

“Oops! Sorry, Rarity – I hope you like your salad warmed up. “ He put the platter down, and picked up the scroll that had materialized out of the green flame. “That’s odd – this letter’s not just addressed to you, Twilight, but to all of you.”

The six ponies gathered around Spike (after Rainbow Dash woke Pinkie up by the simple expedient of grabbing a small cloud, putting it over the pink pony’s head, and giving it a good buck) to listen to the message.

“ ‘Dear Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Applejack,

“ ‘As you are probably aware, this year’s Grand Galloping Gala is just five weeks away. This will be my sister’s first ever Grand Galloping Gala, as she was still recuperating during last year’s Gala, and she would like to enjoy it as much as possible.

“ ‘Unfortunately, she has had a number of issues adjusting to modern life. As such, she has met very few Canterlot ponies outside of purely formal situations, and would appreciate friendlier faces there to help her fit in. She has not said as much to me, of course, but I can see it in her eyes.

“ ‘She has specifically asked that I extend an invitation to the six of you – and you too, Spike, you know I wouldn’t let you miss out on this. After last year, I was not sure if the six of you would want to attend, but I ask you, as a favour, to come and appreciate the Gala as it was intended to be appreciated, with no agenda or ulterior motives.

“ ‘I trust that you will respond shortly, and I hope that you enjoy the Gala. Yours, Princess Celestia.’ ”

The six friends looked at each other for a few seconds, before a second belch from Spike sent them flinching back. When they looked again, there were seven golden invitations sitting in front of them.

“How marvellous! I admit that last year did not go exactly how any of us planned, but I would be more than happy to attend the Gala again. Now I know what a boor Prince Blueblood is, I am sure that I will be able to enjoy the Gala to its fullest without distraction.” As Rarity started a soliloquy on how she would appear at the Gala, resplendent in her gown, the others tuned her out and started talking amongst themselves.

“Personally, I’m looking forward to it. I know my brother and sister – it still feels weird saying that – are coming to the Gala this year, and I’d like the opportunity to spend time with Luna again. I think you’d all agree that neither Nightmare Night nor Cadence’s hen party went that well.”

The others shuddered in agreement, apart from Rarity, who was lost, misty-eyed, in her monologue, and Pinkie, who felt that Nightmare Night was a scream – no pun intended – and had only a mysterious blurry hole in her memory where the hen party was supposed to be.

“Ah agree, sugarcube, it would be nice to see the Princesses again. But Ah’m not so sure about the Gala – you an’ Rarity may fit in no problem, but Rainbow an’ Ah just aren’t cut out for that frou-frou kind’a do.”

Fluttershy let out a slight whimper. “Um, Applejack? I’m not sure, but I think that the Princess really wants us to be there. You know, for Luna, to help her come out of her shell? I know that I had a lot of trouble meeting ponies when I first moved here, and you five have made it so much easier… I mean, it’s easier to get to know ponies when you already know ponies, and… um…”

“Fluttershy’s right, you guys! We need to be at the Gala, for the Princesses! And this time we know it’s not going to be a superhappy fun bounce-around-playing-games-and-firing-cannons party but a stand-around-talking-and-eating-tiny-pineapple-chunks-on-a-stick party, so let’s just enjoy it for what it is and take the opportunity to meet even MORE ponies!”

Rainbow Dash gave out an exaggerated sigh. “Pinkie, Flutters, I know you guys mean the best, but Applejack’s right. It’s just not our kind of party. It’s waaay too boring for an awesome pony like me, and Applejack just doesn't fit in at that kind of thing.”

“An’ just what is that supposed to mean, Rainbow Dash? Are ya sayin’ that Ah’m too much of a hick for stuff like the Gala?”

“Come on, AJ, you know what I mean. The Gala’s all pretty dresses and small talk about politics or whatever, and you’re, y’know, a farmer. You’d stick out like a sore hoof,” she protested, not realising that perhaps she'd gone a bit far.

“And you wouldn’t?” Applejack was unconsciously squaring off against Rainbow Dash now.

“Of course I’d stick out, but I’d do it in the good way,” Rainbow said with a smug smile on her face. “I can be a part of the Gala if I want to be, it’s just that it’s not really worth my time since the Wonderbolts have to spend all their time with clingy fans and not with me.”

“Well Ah say that Ah can fit into the Gala better than you can. Ah can actually stay in one place more’n five minutes to talk to ponies. You’d go up to some high-an’-mighty upper crust pony, and as soon as they opened their mouth, you’d either be halfway across the room or fast asleep.”

“Girls, please! There’s no reason to argue like this” interjected Twilight, hoping against hope that they might actually listen. No such luck; Twilight knew that when AJ and Rainbow Dash’s competitive instincts flared, there was no stopping them.

“You think you can do better than me, AJ? I say we put it to the test. We both go to the Gala, and whichever one of us fits in better wins.”

“An’ the stakes?”

Rainbow Dash hesitated for a second, trying to think of something that both of them could put up, when Pinkie bounced up between them.

“Babysitting!”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash both recoiled in horror at that suggestion, shuddering at the thought of taking care of the Cake twins even for an afternoon.

“Not the twins, silly billies,” Pinkie said with a laugh, leaving the orange and blue mares wondering how she knew their thoughts. “The Cakes would never let you take care of them, not with them in this state. Buuut I do know three little fillies who would love to have one of you two watching over them for the weekend.”

“Mah sister an’ her two friends?”

“That’s right!”

“Then it’s settled! AJ, we’ll both go to the Gala. Rarity knows how ponies are supposed to act at a do like that, so she judges which of us fit in the best. The loser has to watch the Cutie Mark Crusaders for a whole weekend, sleepover and all, and has to take part in whatever crazy stuff they come up with.”

Rainbow spat on her hoof and held it out. After a moment’s thought, Applejack gave a cocky grin as she spat on her hoof and planted it square on Rainbow’s.

“You’re on.”

The Morning After

It was a crisp morning. The sun’s rays rose slowly over the hills, lighting up the orchards with its golden glow. It was a sight that Applejack had seen hundreds if not thousands of times, and yet it never failed to stir her heart.

Today, however, was the exception that proved the rule. Applejack hadn’t managed to sleep at all, tossing and turning all night while thinking about what she’d gotten herself into. She was tired, but it wasn’t the honest tiredness that she was used to, the kind that came with physical exhaustion – it was the nervous, jittery tiredness of a body that was desperately trying to keep up with a mind that just wouldn’t stop thinking.

“Ah just have to calm down,” she muttered to herself as she made breakfast for five. After yesterday’s picnic, she had panicked and had asked Twilight and Spike over for breakfast, hoping that they might be able to offer advice. “There’s nothin’ Ah can do about it now apart from knucklin’ down an’ doin’ mah best. At least that’s somethin’ Ah know how to do.”

She was brought out of her reverie by the sound of a knock from the front door. Pausing only to put on her Stetson, she called out to her siblings that it was time for breakfast and opened the door for her two purple guests.

~

“… after that, I read a Tail from Two Cities – that’s a classic – and finally There and Back Again. Then school broke up for Winter Wrap-Up Break, and I managed to get some serious reading in then! Let’s see…”

Apple Bloom let out a groan. She’d been talking about school, and happened to mention that Cheerilee had asked them to read Olive and Twist, a classic novel, since one of the fillies in her class was named after the protagonist. It turns out that Twilight had also read that in school, and without thinking, Apple Bloom had asked what else Twilight had read in school.

So far, the list had lasted almost five minutes, and she had only gone through her first two semesters.

“Uh, Twilight? Ah appreciate your recommendations an’ all, but Ah think mah sister has to get to school soon. Any chance you could, you know, give her the ol’ cliff notes?”

Twilight blinked, suddenly keenly aware of the bored look on the faces of the Apple family – and the bored look on Spike’s face, too.

“Sorry about that. I guess I got a bit carried away… I’ll have a word with Cheerilee at some point and we’ll come up with a list of the real classics for you.”

“That’d be mighty keen of you. Anyways, Apple Bloom, Ah think you have to head off now if ya don’t want ta be late.”

The yellow filly nodded and ran upstairs to get her saddlebag. As she left the room, Applejack let out a sigh, pushing her plate away from her.

“Ah thought that filly would never leave us be. Twilight, Ah need your help – Ah don’t think Ah have a chance of winnin’ that bet. No way can Ah dress mahself up as one o’ those hoity-toity Canterlot upper crust.”

“Well, why don’t you just ask Rarity for help?” piped up Spike, looking up from his bowl of dried apple slices and carbuncles. “With her knowledge of the Canterlot elite, I bet she could whip you into shape in no time!”

“That’s a good idea, Spike,” Twilight said, mulling it over. “Since Rarity’s acting as the judge for the contest, it only makes sense you to speak with her about what she’ll look for, and I know she won’t have a problem with giving you some help at the same time.”

“Nnope.”

The two mares froze. Somehow, they’d managed to forget about the massive red stallion sitting at the head of the table.

“You know as well as I do that you can’t do that, Applejack. If Miss Rarity is judging this contest, whatever it is, it wouldn’t be fair to ask her for help. Not fair on her, not fair on your opponent, and not fair on you, neither.”

Applejack frowned, then nodded.

“Big McIntosh is right. Ah can’t ask Rarity for help on this one – that would be cheatin’.”

Twilight munched thoughtfully on a mouthful of apple turnover.

“Maybe you can’t ask Rarity for help, but what about the rest of us? I’ve spent some time in Canterlot dinners as a guest of the Princess, so I can teach you about the minutiae of etiquette.”

“Say again, sugarcube?”

“The… small, subtle points. The fine detail. And you might not think it to hear him now, but Spike here had to have elocution lessons when he was younger. A dragon’s mouth isn’t really made for speaking Equestrian. Maybe he can help with refining your accent a little.”

“An’ Fluttershy’s got a natural instinct for dresses! She can help me pick somethin’ out that’ll match even one of Rarity’s pieces. Thanks, Twi, Ah knew Ah could count on you to help me out.” Even as she said this, a yawn escaped Applejack’s mouth. “Whoo-ee! Ah am beat! Ah’m gunna take a short nap – Ah don’ want to try workin’ the orchards exhausted, not after what happened last time.”

Applejack stacked up the bare plates and took them through to the kitchen. Then, without a further word, she walked back upstairs for a nap, leaving Twilight and Spike sitting awkwardly with Big McIntosh.

“Miss Sparkle? Whut in Tartarus is goin’ on?”

~

Rarity hummed happily as she worked. She’d offered to make Princess Luna a dress for the Gala, and Luna had accepted without hesitation. They’d agreed that it would be pale blue around the body, to complement Luna’s dark blue coat, and that the trail would blend from light blue to near-black at the hem. Beyond that, Luna had left the design entirely in Rarity’s more than capable hooves, and the fashionista had decided to sew hundreds of tiny diamonds into the trail. The idea was that as they caught the light, they would give the suggestion of stars against the night sky.

Although she would never admit it, the idea came from the abomination she had made for Twilight the year before. Twilight’s dress had been too obvious, completely lacking in subtlety, and had suffered from Twilight’s compulsions, but Rarity knew that with artistic licence and a subtler touch – a far subtler touch – the concept held a great deal of potential, and who better to wear such a creation than the Princess of the Night?

She had just finished designing the pattern when a knock came on the front door of Carousel Boutique. She practically pranced over to the door, taking a moment to switch smoothly into her elegant, professional salesmare mode – just in case it was a high-class Canterlot customer – before opening the door. When she saw her guest, however, she relaxed, smiling warmly at the Pegasus in front of her.

“Why, good morning, Rainbow Dash. What can I do for you?”