Life at Canterlot's Private School...

by Smexy Sombra

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human, Main 6, Lyra
Length: 129943

My Life through the Canterlot's private school years.... Long description is better.

You know how a lot of people say that school is good for you? Well.... I don't know if they meant physically or mentally, but this school..... Is AWESOME! In the first few days I made more friends than I ever did back on earth! Although I wasn't this happy in the beginning nor did I get hurt as much back on earth.... But I digress. Join me and my friends through...

Life at Canterlot's Private School.

Yes this is a self-insert of me... So I WILL be calling my self by my user...deal with it. Also in this story MLP:FIM was never made.

Warning: Language and sexual jokes.

Published 2012-10-25 02:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-09 03:00:09 UTC

Chapter 2: New roommate...Me

Chapter 2: New roommate...Me

Okay so this strange pony is my new roommate and to be honest...I rather like it. By that I mean I am not freaking out at the fact that I don't know who my roommate would have been. On a different note the room is actually nice! except for some rouge trash lying around on the ground. She led my to a hallway with three different doors.

"Okay.." Lyra began. " This room is mine..." She pointed to the door on the right. " you are NOT, repeat NOT, allowed in there. kay?" I nod and she points to the left. " That is your room. Used to belong to a friend, but she moved out and that is the bathroom!" She finished as she pointed to the center. I responded in the only way I knew...

"Cool." I mentally face-palmed at my choice of word. She giggled and patted me on my back.

"stupefied huh? Well your room has a closet and bed along with a dresser. So have fun and call if you need anything." With that she left and I began to unpack. I put my clothes away and set up my electronics. Surprisingly this world of ponies had outlets! That mean POWER FOR MY MACHINES!! sorry...I went all Dr.Richtofen there... Anyway after I set up in my room I brought my xbox 360 out and quickly went into the living room to make sure there was a T.V., THANK GOD there was. Okay I'll say it now so you won't ask...YES I AM A GAMER!! I love video games, books, and almost anything that I can use to drown out the worlds sorrows. Besides alcohol and other drugs, thank you very much.

Anyway on with my life. I began to set the xbox up when I heard a ruckus happening outside. I got up, opened the door, and took a look. Outside was another human surprisingly and a slightly beaten pony. Both of which were being stared down by a small group of pegasi. There were 3 in total and all of which had strange...oh what are they?..CUTIE MARKS yeah those. The two that were most noticeable were the two upfront. One had a brown coat with a almost white sandy colored hair. His cutie mark was a dumb bell. The other was a orange-brown coated pony with a brown mane that covered his eyes. His cutie mark was three basket balls.

"Hey hair-less! hand over the freak and we will be on our way." Said the pegasus with a brown coat.

"Yeah! we just wanna talk." The other pony agreed. I look at the human and pony to get a brief look at them.

The pony was a unicorn and had a forest green coat with a well kept brown mane. He was about 3ft 8in his cutie mark is a bow getting a arrow knocked. The human was 5ft 3in tall with a muscular build and rather skinny. He was white and had brown hair with blonde on the tips and some areas of his hair. The pony and human look almost scared with very noticeable hints of anger. The pony was constantly looking around for something while the human was keeping his eyes on the pegasi in front of them. Now I my be a bit of a anti-social hermit, but I HATE bullying. With a angry sigh I went back inside to my room and began to look for the one thing I never thought i'd use. It was a 9 inch Bowie knife my brother gave me as a going away gift. I smiled evilly and grabbed the blade from it's sheath.

I hid the blade behind me and I ran back out side and yelled

" HEY LEAVE THEM ALONE!" Everyone attention was to me. I looked at the pegasi and walked over in between the group of bullies and the two students. I kept the blade hidden as I talked Hoping to reason with them, the blade was really just a insurance policy.

"Look..." I began "...What is going on here? What have these two have done?" I asked as calmly as I could. The pony with the dumb bell cutie mark smirked and walked in front of me.

"Well...that FREAK over there has a cutie mark that isn't right and that human is defending him." He said with spite in his voice. I shook my head and just sighed.

"You...I...My god are you fucking stupid?" I asked. He flinched at my language. " Your harassing a pony because of what his talent is? That is like breaking the neck of a small puppy."

"Yeah well... what do you know your a human!" He retorted.

" Yeah a human with this..." I said pulling the blade out and showing him. Everyone gasped and backed up.

"wh-what a-are you g-going to d-do with that?" He asked.

"Nothing...if you leave them alone and never bug me, him or him again." I said pointing to each of them. They all nodded and ran off. I smirked and mumbled "Heh...ponies...ain't got no back-bone." as I looked to make sure the ponies were gone I saw a small compound bow with a quiver next to it. I went, picked it up, and went over to them to see if they are okay.

"Hey you two alright?" They nodded until the unicorn saw what I was holding.

" YOU FOUND IT! I thought those flank-holes broke it!" He said while taking the bow and quiver from my hands. He inspected it while the man smiled and held out his hand.

"Hey thanks for stepping in there. I thought I was going to have to crack a few skulls. My name is Kevin and this is Spilt arrow." He said as the pony merely gave me a "hey" before going back to his bow. He told me how the pegasi were giving them a hard time and followed them here.

"So we were coming to our dorm here and then those ass holes showed up. And well...you know the rest." I nodded in a apologetic way then got an idea.

" Hey I just set up my xbox wanna come in and relax for a while? You know so those jerks don't find out your dorm number." He thought is over then agreed. I led him to my room which was just one room down from his and showed them the room.

" So welcome to casa de slayer and lyra! make yourself at home while I get ice for your wounds." I finished off with a mock bow and left to gather the stuff.

'huh...bullies. Maybe this world WILL be interesting after all...' I thought as I gathered the medical supplies.

Chapter 4: A Scary Friend

Chapter 4: A Scary Friend

Okay so my day started out fairly easy until Brony and me got to 2nd period. I also learned that MOST of my teacher were part of this immense power known as the 'Elements of Harmony'. Kinda scary until I learned they had to have these strange necklaces and be in the same area together. So yea teachers are famous no big deal. On the other hand it's kinda cool to have celebrities as my teachers.

Anyway after I got worked to the bone by my gym teacher took quite the toll on brony and me. After He and I took a stop at a nearby water fountain and I said goodbye as I was on my way to Animal studies with a miss Fluttershy. As I entered the class room the first thing I noticed was the smell. I was honestly expecting the whole classroom to smell like a farm, but it smelled like a normal room as far as I could tell.

"Oh hello. You must be my new student." I turned to see the owner of the voice. It was soft and really quiet. Almost to the point to where if I wasn't paying any attention I would not have heard her. I looked down to see a butter-yellow coated pegasus with a pale pink mane. Her cutie-mark was Three butterflies. Okay, now, I don't say this very often, but this one pegasus was absolutely adorable. She hide part of her face behind her mane when I looked down and started to paw(hoof?) at the floor. I gently smiled and knelt down so she could see my face.

"Hello. I am Slayer Broman and yes, I am your new student." I said as she parshley moved out of her mane.

"O-okay your seat is over there next to Hank." She said as she pointed to a desk in the back. My smile dropped when I saw who my partner or desk mate as I have heard it referred to as. I think I'll stick with partner...Anyway as I make my way to this guy I can't help, but get extremely unnerved by his appearance. He had solid, almost gun metal, grey hair which was about only a inch long. His eyes were covered by a pair of goggles with solid red lenses. His body was covered by a very large pitch black trench coat much like mine, only buttoned up and more....sinister. Also there was a hood coming out of the back, so I am assuming that he has a hoodie on under that thing. I quietly took my seat and he just sat there like nothing happened.

I waved my hand in front of his face. Nothing. " Hello?" I asked. He did nothing for a moment then took out a earbub from his left ear and looked at me. I heard a small amount of music come out of the ear bud. It sounded like hardcore techno if I heard correctly.

"Hi?" I said with a nervous smile. He smiled back and held out his hand. I slightly flinched at him, but regained my senses and shook his hand.

"HI! nice to meet cha. My name is Hank J. Wimbelton. My friends call me Hank!" He said in a remarkably happy tone. I smiled again and asked him why he took this class.

"Oh I took this because my family had lots of animals growing up and I just wanted to take something that I would be familiar with." He said. " How 'bout you?"

"Oh I actually didn't have any choice in the matter. I got registered at the second and kinda got thrown into some classes." I said. 'This guy is actually really nice beside the fact that he is really fucking scary at first glance.'

"Okay class we need to begin now...please everyone quiet down....everyone?" Fluttershy tried to get everyone's attention, but almost everyone ignored her. Unsurprisingly this was pissing Hank off, You could just tell by seeing his facial expression.

"HEY!! EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN!!" He said as he rose from his chair. EVERYONE did just as he said, even Fluttershy only she more or less dived to the ground like someone lobbed a grenade at her. I actually just nodded my head in awe and gave him a thumbs up. He smiled and sat back down with a triumphal smirk.

Fluttershy got up and began again. " U-um th-thank y-y-you H-hank. As I-I was saying thank you for choosing this c-class and h-hope you enjoy it. N-now let's begin."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a 45 minute class about how to keep animals healthy and receiving a animal for, as she called it, full year assign ment. I called it a pain in the arse. Oh well as least my animal was fairly easy to take care of. It was a simple snake with a light green hide and gold eyes. I was walking out of the class room when I noticed something about the snake.

"You know you kinda look like lyra." I said with a small smirk. I could swore I saw the thing smile back. That is when Hank had to sneak up on me.

"Hey slayer!" I flinched and nearly yelled 'Sick'em boy!' as I whipped around with the snake wrapped around my arm.

"ho oh it's just you Hank...DON'T DO THAT!" I slightly yelled at him. He chuckled as a small squirrel clambered onto his shoulder. "That your 'assignment'?" I asked. He nodded and said.

"Yep, and we gotta name them too. I think I'll call him.... Todd. I gave him a confused look.

"Why Todd?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Just the first thing that came to mind. What are you gonna name him?" He wondered. I placed a hand on my chin and thought.

"How about?.....Arrowhead?" I looked at the snake and he ACTUALLY nodded in approval. " Well that settles it then. Your name is Arrowhead." The snake gently slithered up my arm and wrapped around my neck, Not tightly just enough so he didn't slide off.

"I think he likes you dude." Hank observed. I nodded and smiled.

"Well I gotta go cya Hank!" I waved and he waved back and I left for my the rest of my classes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day went by fairly quickly. Some of my teachers freaked out over the snake, but the rest merely told me to keep an eye on him. I told them he was harmless and just worked while the little guy slept on my shoulder. Lunch was certainly interesting though. They served MEAT. MEAT my friends, they served meat in the school in Equestria. I was ecstatic though I didn't show it. Brony, Hank, and Lyra came by the table I sat at and we all talked about games, classes, and roommates. Lyra also freaked out when I showed her and Brony the snake I got. Also Turns out Hank and Brony are roommates in the same hallway as me only quite a few doors down though. After we ate we roamed back to our hallway and showed dorms we resided in. I actually stopped by my dorm and played some xbox before having to leave for my next class.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walked into my last class of the day and the first thing that happened was a shrill scream of horror. Needless to say I freaked out.

"WHAT WHAT WHO DIED?!?!" I yelled looking around the room. Instead of someone being dead it was my study hall teacher.

"Darling HOW can you wear a snake skin scarf with THAT kind of jacket!?" She said. She was a marshmallow white unicorn with a perfectly kept violet mane that gently curled at the ends. Her tail was done in the same way and her cutie-mark was three diamonds.

"Snake skin scarf? OH you mean Arrowhead? He is just sleeping. Hey Arrowhead wake up." I gently nudged the snake and it sleepily raised his head. "Arrowhead meet...Excuse me, but what is your name madam?"

"I am Rarity, but it is MISS Rarity to you." She said with a slightly agitated voice.

"Well there you go Arrowhead. I am Slayer Broman Miss Rarity." I replied with a hint of annoyance. I could already tell me and her were NOT going to get along well.

After a very horrible class of constant cracks at my clothing style and other things I walked by to the dorm with a VERY noticeable frown. Arrowhead was almost the same way until he snuggled against my neck and went back to sleep. I smiled after that. I guess sometimes the world can suck and sometimes it can rock.

I got back to the dorm and slumped onto the couch. Just as I sat down Lyra walked in and threw her stuff next to the door.

" Ugh...school sucks." She said as she walked over to me.

"Yea it does...How was your day? Mine was just jolly until I met my study hall teacher." I said with a small frown.

"Do you have Rarity? cause if you do she is like that with all her new students. She actually is really nice after the first day. What ever she said or did was her 'testing' you as she calls it." She told me as she got on to the couch and laid across my lap.

"Uhh...Lyra? what are you doing?" I asked getting slightly uncomfortable. She just looked up at me and said.

"I am tired and you are the closest thing to a pillow now shush and let me nap." I was about to argue when she let out a small snore and shifted a little. I sighed and picked up my Xbox remote I left on the table and powered up my Xbox and picked up where I left off in Borderlands 2.

After about 2 hours I fell asleep from not only possible Carpel Tunnel syndrome in my hands, but from the fact I had been playing the game for quite awhile and how lyra's body heat was better than a wool blanket on a cold winter's day.( Not in that way pervs.)

My last thought before falling into a deep sleep was 'So comfy, so warm...' With that final thought I drifted in to my slumber. I awoke to a almost frantic Knocking...

"What in the bloody hell is that noise?!" I said as I angrily, but gently removed Lyra from my lap and went to the door. "Better be fucking important..." I said as I reached for the door knob.

Chapter 5: Multiple screw ups...

Chapter 5: Multiple screw ups...

As I opened the door I was met by a tall, solid white, unicorn, stallion with a pissed off expression. "May I help you?" I asked slightly agitated. The unicorns expression only got worse as he grabbed and threw me like a rag doll into a wall.

"FUCK!" I yelled as my body made impact with the wall. I slumped down then groaned as I raised my head. my vision was slightly blurry, but I saw well enough to see what the assaulting pony was wearing.

He was garbed in white, gold trimmed armor. Around his waist was a sword and he wore no helm. His mane was light blue with two lighter blue running through it. "What..the..fuck bro?" I said with some pain gasps.

"I am NOT your bro. I am the one who is stopping you." He said with malice in his voice. I had a 'WTF I didn't do anything!' face on.

"What are you talking about? I have only been here for two days!! What could I have possibly done in that time?!" I yelled at him. He only snorted in annoyance and grabbed me by the throat with his magic bringing me to his face.

"So your saying you did not assault three pegasi with a deadly weapon?" He asked again with malice. I heard foot-steps coming towards us rapidly. I turned my head to see Brony and Hank.

"HEY YOU!! WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY FRIEND!?" Hank yelled at the pony in question. The pony only snorted as Kevin and split arrow also joined the small group of friends I had somehow managed to get in two days. He dropped me from his magic. I was hacking my lungs out when Brony ran up and supported me.

"Dude what the fuck?! You were choking him!!" He yelled at the pony. The pony only snorted and pulled him away from me.

"I am Captain Shining Armor and THIS man has committed a crime!" He stated. Everyone just looked at each other in confusion until split arrow stepped out to face Shining Armor.

"Captain Shining? Could you possibly tell us who informed you of this?" Split arrow inquired. Shining looked down at the unicorn and said.

"It was three pegasi that informed us of this man treachery." He told him. The unicorn nodded in response.

"Well if I may say something. You have been fooled Captain. Those pegasi are the culprits in this endeavour." He stated with a hint of pride in his voice.

"Please explain how I have been fooled mister...?" He said.

"The name is Split Arrow Captain and this is what REALLY happened..." He began. In the next 10 minutes he told Captain shining all that happened and the Captain's expression slowly softened after each word.

"So in short I have been misinformed about this whole ordeal." Captain Shining summed up. Split Arrow simply nodded. "And you would say this in court that what you are saying is true?" Split Arrow only nodded again. "Then that is what is going to happen."

Shining received a collective "WHAT!?" from everyone including Lyra who walked out in the middle of this ordeal. "Yes, I am sorry for this, but if what your saying is true this must go into court. Again I am sorry. Come you let's go." Shining said as he pulled some cuffs outta bloody nowhere and clapped them on to my wrists. As we began to walk away I feel a familiar feeling of something slithering around my leg. I look down to see Arrowhead had coiled around my leg and tucked him self into my pant's leg.

'least I'll have company where ever they are taking me.' I thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soon I was placed in a jail cell beneath a palace. I was confused at first, but as it turns out it is 'protocol' for the accused to be placed in a cell until the day off the trial. The trial it's self was tomorrow and I was getting bored really fast. I was lucky enough to have Arrowhead with me.

"Well arrowhead what do you wanna do?" I asked the small snake. He scratched the top of his head with the tip of his tail then raised it as if he was pointing. He slide off my arm and went to the edge of my cell. Using his tail he pointed to a guitar leaning on a unoccupied cell.

"You want me to play that?" I asked and he nodded. "Well I haven't played in a while, but if you can get it in my arms reach yea sure I'll see if I can play a tune."

He seemed to spring up at the idea and bolted over to the guitar. After several minutes of him pushing, pulling, and knocking it over he managed to get it over to me. I pulled it threw the bar of my cell and plucked the strings to see of it was in tune. A few strings were out of tune, but over it was in pretty good shape. I held out the guitar to take a look at what I had to work with. It was a simple red electric guitar with a black pick guard.

"Who in the name of god would leave such a awesome guitar in a prison?" I thought out loud. I got the guitar into position and thought of a song to sing. " Oh I know what I am going to play." I said with a grin forming. I placed my hands in the spots on the fret board and began to play a song I personally loved. I began to sing the opening lyrics.

Despite the lies your makin'

your love is mine for the takin'

my love is

just waitin'

to turn your tears to roses

Then I played the song Whispers in the dark by skillet..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After I was done playing I heard a small sniffle come from the other side of the cell. I looked and saw Princess Luna sitting there with a few tears in her eyes. I put the guitar down and went to the front of my cell.

"Hey you all right princess?" I asked as looked at her. She nodded and said.

"We are fine. thank thee for asking. We are wondering...what is that thou was playing on thine's instrument?" She asked as she wiped a few tears away from her eyes.

"Well it was a song call whispers in the dark. It is by a band on my world called skillet." I said as she dried the last of the tears from her face.

"It was very beautiful. May we ask if thou knows any other songs?" She inquired. I nodded then began.

"I do, but if I may ask what you are doing here? I was not told of a visit from the princess her self!" I said with a smile.

"Well normally it is my sister that comes down to see who we are going to be judging next, but she was busy with something." She stated and I nodded.

"Well that explains why your here, but not WHY your here." I said with a little chuckle.

"OH sorry. We always come and have a small meeting with the accused so we can see what kind of pony or human they are before the next day." She said with a embarrassed smile.

"Oh that makes sense...I guess." I scratched my head in a little bit of confusion and she giggled. "So you pretty much meet with them to determine whether they are going to lie in court or attempt something?" She nodded. "Okay then begin your questions if you would be so kind."

"Alright we have already heard the story from both the pegasi and the unicorn and human. What we want to know is what is your side of the story?" She said. I let out a small sigh and said.

"Well princess hope your comfy because this might take awhile." She sightly adjusted her position and nodded for me to continue. "This ordeal began when I arrived at my dorm..." and I told her my tale from beginning to end.

Chapter 6: A Day to Remember

Chapter 6: A Day to Remember

So Luna and me talked for about a few hours before she had to leave."Well thanks for visiting me Princess Luna. It is always nice to have someone to talk to." I said as she got up.

"Thee has only been here for a day and thou is acting like thine's life is nothing beyond these bars!" She said with a giggle.

"Sorry. This place is just SOOO boring." I said with a dramatic flop onto my bed. She laughed after that and I joined her in the hilarity.Soon I was on the floor laughing and she was doing her best not to fall down like me. "Okay, but honestly it was nice seeing you again." I stated with a few chuckles.

She smiled and walked to the front of the cell. "Well we had fun talking to you as well. We hope that when this whole ordeal is over you may join us in a day of relaxation." She said with a smile.

"So basically...you wanna hang out after the trial?" I stated with a smirk. She blushed and nodded."I would love to princess. It is always nice to hangout with friends!"

"Good we shall see the after tomorrows affairs." With that she gleefully skipped out of the prison and I laid down.As I laid down I took my trench coat off and attempted to get some sleep. I was rudely awoken by some one screaming at the top of their lungs.

"LET GO OF ME YOU SON OF A WHORE!!" It sounded female, but raspy and REALLY pissed off. Soon I heard my cell door open and someone was thrown in. "I AM GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU GUARDS!! YOU HEAR ME!?" The voice bellowed once more.

I opened one eye and saw one pissed off griffon."The buck you looking at?" She said. I just shrugged and closed my eyes again. "Oh a smart flank huh? Well I can fix that." I heard claws scrapping against the ground as she neared me.

I kept my cool for the most part until she got to edge of my bed. I gently opened my eyes to see her with her fist raised high in the air. "I wouldn't do that if I was you." I said with a frown and she lowered her talon. She then aggressively pulled me off the bed with both of her claws and attempted to pin me to the floor by gripping and pinning my forearms. She smirked as she thought that she had me beat and said.

"Oh? and why is that?" You could practically see the arrogance dripping from the words as they left her mouth. I shook my head.

"This is why." I replied as I used my knee to knock her knees out. Her face went from confused to scared really fast. After her legs gave way I ripped my arms from her grasp, Although my arms got slightly mangled by her talons, and she collapsed onto my chest. I then flipped the situation causing me to gain the advantage. Placing my hands on her forelegs and my knees on her wings. Then I whistled to Arrowhead and he coiled around her hind legs. Her face was now absolutely terrified now.

"Wasn't expecting that huh?" I said with a toothy grin, attempting to scare her with mine canines. It worked somewhat as she fidgeted when I smiled.

"How the hell did you do that?! I had the advantage!!" She angrily yelled in my face. I merely shook my head and snickered.

"Oh little griffon you have no advantage unless you know what you were doing. Which you did not." I said with a smirk. "Now I am going to let you up and place you on the top bunk. Go call for some bandages for my arm. Then I am going to sleep because I have a trial tomorrow mkay? Good."

I got off her and did as I said. Placed her on the bed, called for bandages and waited for them. As I was waiting that short tempered griffon was watching me.

"You still haven't told me how you did that." She finally spoke. I turned to her. As I did I saw the damage her claws had done. They were long scrapes along my arms, but they weren't very deep. I groaned as the adrenaline faded and pain became very apparent really quick.

"It is a simple thing really. Just the weight difference between us. You weigh probably no more than 80 pounds and I weigh about 125 pounds. Plus you had no strategy what-so-ever. All you DID have was a plan to intimidate and pin me down." I summarized. After my little chat a nurse pony came to the front of our cell and gently tapped on the bars.

"H-h-hello. M-my name is n-nurse Band-Aid. I-I am here T-to help." This little pony was a small yellow pony with a gentle rose mane that fell over her shoulder. Her cutie-mark was a pair Band-aids crossed over each other making a X.

I bent down on my knees and looked the pony in the eyes. "Hey there. My name is slayer and I am the one who called for your assistance. I would like to ask you to please hurry because the pain is a real bother right now." I said with a slightly pained expression and raising my arms to show her. She almost immediately perked up when she saw my arms.

"Oh my celestia!! Your arms are in terrible shape! Please place them threw the bars and I shall fix them up." She said in a light panic. I complied and she went straight to work. After a few minutes my arms were bandaged and stiched up. The nice nurse pony gave me some pain pills and told me to get some rest.

"I shall be back before your trial to check on your wounds. Now get some sleep and I will be back in the morning!" She said with a small smile and began to walk away.

" Oh nurse!" I quickly yelled out. She turned and galloped back as if I just died. "I just wanted to say thanks. For fixing me up that is." I finished with a smile. She breathed a sigh of relief and return the smile. After she redid her goodbyes and I looked to see of the griffon had fallen asleep. Luckily she had, so that meant I could get a good night's rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today was the day of my trial and to be honest....I wasn't all that worried. I did nothing, but defend my friends and had every right to do so. Although...this isn't america. 'oh well I might as well face the music.' I thought as I heard some hoof steps coming down the hall. Not to my surprise the nice nurse from last night was coming down the hall.

"Good morning Slayer! Did you sleep good? How are your arms?" She said as she gestured for me to come closer. I complied and showed her my arms.

"They are really sore, but none the less better." I responded. She poked and prodded before nodding her head in approval. I grabbed my coat and walked out of the cell as they opened it. I walked out and the guards cuffed me. The guards flanked me and began to walk me out of the prison. Then after we got out of the prison and began to make our way a, What I presume was a, servant pony stopped us and she handed the guard to my right a letter. She gave us some apologies and left to go do...what ever it was she was going to do. The guard grunted and hand the letter over to the other guard who browsed it over. They both looked at me and nodded. The guard on the right took out a key and took off my cuffs on my wrist while the other took the cuffs of my legs.

"Follow me." The left guard said and trotted down the hall way. Soon we were at these GIANT doors that had a symbol of a sun and a symbol of a moon. "Enter. They are waiting for you." He said as he took position by the door as his associate took the opposite side.

"Wait who?" I asked. No response. "So I just have to find out myself huh?" I got a grunt from them. "Greeeeeat."

I walked in to see a large circular table with a small pillow every placed every few feet around it. I simply walked over and sat down on to the nearest pillow and sat down. I waited and waited for about...I don't know, but it was a long time I assure you.

"Ah slayer. Sorry we are late, but the court was a little back up." I turned to see Luna standing in front of the door with a slightly larger white(with a small pink hue) pony that looked very similar to Luna, in physical features anyway. This new pony wore a cross between a necklace and a breastplate with a large purple gem in the middle. She also wore tiara much like Luna's only...bigger. Luna walked over and gave me a small hug. As I returned the hug the larger pony watched EVERY move I made. After a few moments she let go with a big smile.

"How art thee slayer?" Luna asked with that smile still apparent.

"Heh I'm good thanks for asking. Only thing wrong is my arms are killing me." I said as I gently rubbed them threw my coat. Luna went with a confused expression as she responded.

"What is wrong with thine arms?" she asked as she inspected my coated arm. I sighed and pulled up my coat sleeve up. She and the larger pony gasped as I reveled the bandages. They were slightly bloody. While Luna inspected my bandages the larger pony came over. As she neared me I saw how large she was. Instead of me being taller I was eye to eye with this strange pony.

"Oh we are sorry, we have not introduced you to our sister yet! Slayer this is Celestia. Celestia this is Slayer. He is the one that was supposed to be going to that trial." Luna said. I looked quizzically at her.

"What do you mean 'supposed to be going to'? I thought this is what I was waiting for." I said with my own confused face.

"I believe I can answer that." Celestia said. I turned to her and she began. "While I was listening to the story you told Luna I noticed it was almost identical to all the other versions I was told by your friends. All except one, or three to be specific. They were told by the three pegasi that accused you and your stories were extremely different. In theirs you were being snide, rude, and down right cruel." I sighed slightly angrily and nodded for her to continue. "While in your story and your friends stories you were brave, heroic, and completely reasonable. Luna and I scanned everyone who gave a story to see if they were lying. Only the pegasi were caught lying. So when you trial was to happen we sent a servant to get you and to get the guards to grab the pegasi instead of you. That is why you were 'supposed to go'." She finished. I just stood there in complete awe about how they so skillfully got the real culprits instead of having to do a long trial to figure it out. I only muttered one word.

"Wow..." Luna giggled and Celestia smiled. I smiled back and held out my hand. "Well thank you very much princess Celestia. This is a massive weight off my shoulders." The princess placed her hoof in my palm and we shook hand and hoof.

"It is alright. I am just trying to keep the peace and help Luna keep her friends out of the jail." She said with a half-hearted chuckle. I chuckled with a little nervousness in my voice. "Now may you tell Luna and me why your arms in this shape?" She inquired.

"Well my cellmate was looking for a fight and decided to pick one with the thing that is twice her size. Well it actually wasn't really a fight. It was more or less me overpowering her and scaring her." I said with a shrug. They both nodded and Luna gave me a look that practically screamed 'I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW!!'. I turned towards her and asked.

"Hey Luna you have been pretty quiet. You okay?" She seemed to perk up at this.

"Well..." She began. "We were wondering if thee wanted to 'Hang out' as you called it." She slightly fidgeted in place as she talked. I placed a hand on my chin and thought for a moment.

"Sure I would love to, but what about this whole ordeal? I mean do I just get a form or something saying that this happened?" Celestia just shook her head and chuckled.

"No you don't slayer. All you have to do is sign a paper saying that you never committed the crime or will in the near future." She informed me. I nodded and smiled.

"In that case Luna I would love to hang out with you. Although I would like to see my friends before hand." I said while I pulled my sleeves back to wrists.

"Alright slayer. I'll go get the form. Be right back." Celestia said while leaving. I sat back down on the pillow again while luna sat by me.

'These were the craziest days of my life...At least when I skype my friend I'll have something to tell them.' I thought as I leaned my head back and sighed.

Author's Note:

SO I found that my story is getting few more dislikes than I anticipated...anyway please of you are going to dislike my story please tell me what is wrong with it and please don't dislike my story just because you don't like these kind of fics. Also sorry for the long update. I am currently in the process of getting a new charger for my laptop and this is being written on my bro's laptop.

Anyway hope you enjoyed it and until next time CYA!

Chapter 7: Fun with the night

Chapter 7: Fun with the night

I met up with Brony, Hank and Lyra outside and was soon tackled by the mare in question. She was, surprisingly, sobbing and WOULD NOT ease up with her grip. It got worse when she saw my arm bandages. She threw so many questions out at me that I asked Hank for a rubber band. Then using said rubber band, I put it over her mouth. She looked a little confused at first until I pointed behind me and she saw the princess. After a "EEP" coming from her muffeled mouth and jumping off me, I got up off the floor and dusted myself off.

"Slayer what happened? We saw that captain of the guard guy drag you off then next thing we know we are being called to be told that the trial was canceled." Brony said. I just shook my head and looked to the princesses.

"Do I have a few moments before we leave?" I asked. They looked at each other and then to me.

"Of course we will be waiting for thee." Luna said and walked out of the room with her sister. Everyone looked at me with confused and worried expressions. "What?...Now what is it you guys want to know?"

After I took the rubber band off of Lyra's snout, I answered all the questions. They varied from why was I put in a cell to why are you leaving with the princesses. The last one was a question I thought would be a little awkward to answer so I settle for just saying that she wanted to discuss somethings. I wasn't lying....but I wasn't telling the whole truth.

"So yeah that is the story in a nutshell...what else would you like to know?" I asked. Lyra was the only one who had one more question.

"What happened in that cell that caused those awful scratches on your arms?" Lyra asked. I was surprised that my wounds hadn't come up until now.

"Well after I talk with Princess Luna I got on my bed. Literally 5 minutes after I laid down the guards threw a griffon in my cell....long story short I kicked her ass and got some wounds to prove it." I summed up. They all nodded and I stood up. "Well Guys and gals I gotta go now. Thank you for waiting for me and I should be back by tonight. See you guys later."

"Wait Slayer!" Lyra stopped me before I could take a step. I turned and she grabbed my hand and put my android in my hand. "You left this and I thought you would need it."

I smiled ,knelt down, and hugged the pony. "Thanks lyra! See you guys later."

They all nodded while walking away and I walked back to the princesses. I was about to open the door when I heard voices on the other side. The princesses were arguing about something if I had to guess.

"...But Luna all I am saying is that he is not only a male, but a human no less. What would the public think!" That had to be Tia, at least if I remembered voices correctly.

"We care not what the public thinks! He is only a friend and nothing more! We will deal with the press and reporters Tia. Don't worry about us." Luna.... definitively Luna. No way to mistake her speech. I got uncomfortable with what they were talking about so I decided to knock on the door. I opened it and poked my head out. They both looked at me and to be honest......It was very unnerving. I got over the fact they were royalty ever since I knock her down that faithful day, so their expressions were what I was worried about. They looked almost angry, happy, and nervous.

"Um...Am I interrupting something?" They looked at each other and then luna looked to me.

"Could thou wait just a moment longer?" She asked.

"Of course I will just be sitting.." I looked back into the room and saw some furniture. "...on that couch I guess." I walk back into the room and sat down and took my android out. Placing my ear buds in, I turned to a song I listened to when ever I just wanted to relax.

I pressed play on Tomorrow by Chris Young.

I bobbed my head as the opening played. Then I gently began to sing with the song. Now I don't have the best voice in the world, but living in a house with my patriotic dad and three brothers made singing country songs easier than most other genres.

Tomorrow

I gonna leave here

I gonna let you go and walk away

like everyday I said I would.

Then without me knowing Luna had walked in and up to me.

And tomorrow.

I am gonna listen

to that voice of reaso~n

inside my head.

Telling me that we're no good!

Luna's head tilted to the side a bit she listened to me sing.

,But tonight I'm gonna give it one last try

Gonna rock you strong in these arms of mine!

forget about the regrets that are bound to follo~w!

Then I went back to nodding my head as the instruments played. Then, not missing a beat, picked up were the song left off.

We are like fire and gasoline!

I'm no good for you and your no good for me.

We only bring each other tears and sorro~w!

But tonight....I'm gonna love ya like there's no~

Tomorrow....

That was when I opened my eyes to see Luna with tears in her eyes. With my eyes widening, I pulled out the headphones and turned off my music.

"Luna! when did you get here and why are you crying?" I asked a little flustered and worried. She raised a hoof and I honestly thought she was going to slap me. Now I have been slapped before, but I know that hooves would have hurt A LOT more than a human hand. Instead of doing any of that, she just wiped her tears away and looked at me.

"Pray tell what song was that? and by whom was it played?" She asked. I let a silent breath of relief pass as I took out my android.

"It's by the man called Chris Young. The song it's self is called Tomorrow. You want to listen to it?" I held out a ear bud and she nodded. She came and sat next to me while I placed one of the ear buds in her ear. It was actually a little difficult, but I managed. I pressed play and let the rest of the song play.

By the end of the song she was in more tears than she began. I let her use my sleeve as a tissue(thankfully she didn't blow her nose.) and thought for another song she'd like. Oddly enough I didn't have any 'happy' songs on my android. Now before you go saying "OH MY GOD YOUR SO EMO." I just want to say that I just never could find a song that was happy I liked. So I found a song that I listened to when I wanted to feel empowered.

"Okay Luna I got a better song than that." I said as I pulled up the song.

"And what is this song?" She asked looking over my shoulder. I just smiled and played This is war by 30 seconds to mars. She began to bob her head to the beat of the song and soon was almost singing the lyrics, but stopped before she vocalize. I looked at her when the song ended.

"Hey luna?" She turned to me. "How come you don't sing?" She blushed slightly and shifted in her seat.

"W-well when we were younger, we sung all the time! But back then the nobles frowned upon it if you did it in public. It also didn't help that our voice wasn't all that good." She said looking slightly sad.

"Oh come on! That was then! This is now! Come on, I will play a song with a female singer and I want you to sing along alright?" She hesitantly nodded. I picked up my android and played the one song I knew she could sing.

I played Lacrymosa by Evanesence while Luna closed her eyes and swayed with the music.

I was incomplete awe of her voice as she sang. It was even better than the songstress in the actual song. not only was she not missing a beat, the pitch was perfect, she never missed a lyric. After the song ended, I was sitting there. Mouth agape. Not blinking.

"Were we truly that bad? We haven't su-" She began before I cut her off.

"OH nonononononono that was amazing! I don't know why you thought your voice was awful because that was the best singing I have ever heard!" By now she was blushing at the praise. After a few more song we got up and left to wander around.

"Sooo....What is there to do around here?" I asked as I looked around.

"Well. There is the concert hall which is very fun to relax in when there is nopony there. There is the gardens were you can see hundreds of exotic animals. There are more if those don't sound appealing." She said as she stopped to think.

"Well may I ask you something?" She nodded. "Do you have a Xbox?" she blinked. "PS3?" no response. "Wii?"

"What art thou talking about?" I face-palmed.

"You know a gaming system." I said removing my hand from my face.

"OOhhhh. Yes, my sister got me one saying I should 'try it out' when ever I got bored. I tried to work the flabbergasted machine, but it won't even turn on!!" She said pouting a little bit. I tilted my head and scratched it in thought. Then I asked a stupid question.

"Did you press the power button when you wanted to play?" I hung my head at the smart-ass comment.'I really got to stop talking without thinking' I thought. When I looked at her she was almost pure red. Right there....I almost lost it.

"You...You really forgot too......" I was biting my tongue, nearly drawing blood, trying my hardest not to laugh. Then she tackled me and got right in my face.

"If thou tells my sister, we will personally make thee clean the lavatory in the barracks with thee's tongue." She said with anger and embarrassment in her voice. She got off me and pulled me up. "Now if thy can contain thine's self will thee help me with this 'gaming system'."

"Of course princess." I let out a chuckle and walked with her down the hall.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Unbeknowst to Slayer and The princess of the night there was a shadowy figure lurking in the shadows. "Yes, yesss he will do nicely. Now to report back." It left without another sound.

Author's note:

Sorry for the long update. Writer's block sucks......Any way hope you all enjoyed a great Turkey Day and weekend!

Chapter 8: Video games and a Unexpected Friend

Chapter 8:Video games and a Unexpected Friend

I was fixing up Luna's Xbox and she was watching me work. "So all we needed to do was plug a few wires into the back of this box." Then she points to the Tele. " and these into that. Then this box will make the 'video game' work?"

"Yup! I think you will like it. I know I did when I first started to play." I finished, powered up the Xbox, and picked up a remote for Luna. The remote was all shades of the night, even the buttons had the same color scheme. "So let's make you a profile and then play a game!"

I set up her account under the name 'Queen of the night' with a bio of "Normal pony that is fairly new to gaming." Didn't want her to be given kills in the game cause she was royalty. Were's the fun in that?

"Which one would you like to play first?" I asked sitting next to her.

There was a small pile of games next to her that she was browsing. The games consisted of Halo, Star wars unleashed, Skyrim, and Mass Effect 3(All pony editions apparently). She constantly went back to Mass Effect, So I picked it up and popped the disc into the tray and closed it. With the opening powering up I hand her the remote which she promptly picked up with her magic and stared at the screen.

The opening scene started up and then we got to the character create menu. It was pretty much the same only the classes were different. Here is what I deduced...

Captain(Pegasus)=Soldier.

Master Magician(Unicorn)=Adept

Royal Spy(Pegasus)=Infiltrator

Mechanic(Earth Pony)=Engineer

Watch Guard(Earth Pony)= Sentinel

Royal Guard(unicorn)=Vanguard

Although there was another class I never saw before. It was called the 'Ruler'. From the stats I read it was a Pimped out Soldier crossed with a Adept.(Not a vanguard mind you) It had the ability not to be weighed down by weapons plus had different powers. Instead of 'Pull' there was 'Crush' which is self explanatory. The other one was instead of 'Singularity' there was 'Self implode' again self explanatory.

She chose that one cause it had one simple likeness to her. It was a Alicorn. Soon she made it look just like her only it had a baby blue mane instead of a galaxy mane like hers.

"Wow...you good at that." she giggled and continued the game. She played through the opening and began to get angry when she saw the shuttle blow up with the the foal(Boy) inside. After that she immediately went to the next mission and WAS UNSTOPPABLE. Literally she melee'd half of the Cerberus soldiers and got head shots on the rest. I watched wide eye'd as she plowed through the first level and was huffing by the end of it.

"....."

"Did we *huff* accomplish what our mission was?" She asked looking at my slack-jawed expression.

"Luna?"

"Yes Slayer?"

"You sure you haven't played before? Because you just slaughtered EVERYTHING with taking little damage and wasting almost no ammo!!" I said slightly awed and flustered by the whole event. She just giggled. Then it turned into a hardy chuckle and within a few minutes she was full out laughing at me while leaning against me so she wouldn't fall over. I soon joined in as I reflected on my reaction and facial expression. I cries of laughter soon brought Princess Celestia to us to investigate the noise. Our laughter died out as she entered the room.

"What is going o-...." Then a fairly evil grin spread across her face as she saw what Luna was doing. "I thought you weren't going to get 'involved' with him Luna." I tilted my head in confusion while Luna hurriedly got off me and straightened up. Then blushing she picked up her remote again and started up the game while Princess Celestia walked behind the couch and watched Luna play.

"I see you actually got the gaming system working! Which game are you playing?" She asked. Luna just continued to watch the T.V. while responding.

"We art playing the game Mass Effect 3. Tis a fun game!" A small smile appeared along her face. Celestia on the other hand/hoof frowned. 'Ah the toils of siblings. I know this well.' I thought as I reflected on my time I spent trying to get my brothers back for tricking me all those years. Celestia walked around and scooted me closer to Luna while sitting on the opposite side of me. Have you ever dated someone's sister then they sat RIGHT next to you? yea...that's how I felt. No, I am not dating the princess, but the feeling is still there.

"So what have you two been doing all alone in here?" She asked with that same evil smile. 'Damn sibling rivalry.' I thought as I shifted uncomfortably and saw Luna blushing.

"We were setting up the Xbox thou got us." Luna said not even looking at Celestia. "Then we put this game in and played until you came in."

"Then what was all the laughing about?" Celestia said with her grin growing even larger. "That can't have been over powering up the game."

Luna blushed and looked her sister dead into the eye. "We were laughing because be we got through the first level with almost no fault and slayer's reaction was rather hilarious."

Then Celestia looked at me and I only nodded. "Hmmm alright. Well I was wondering when you would figure out this device." Then she looked at the clock above the T.V. and sighed. "Well I must leave now. I have court again and I must go tend to my subjects. By the way I was wondering, Luna have you seen Blueblood?"

Luna grew a MASSIVE smile and held back a snicker. "We have. In fact he should be seeking us out momentarily."

Celestia just raised a eyebrow and and shook her head. "Well when you see him tell him to stop harassing our human guards and servants." Luna nodded and Celestia left.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Luna and me played a few more of her games until there was a very violent knocking. I flinched and subconsciously rubbed the back of my head. Luna looked at me before pausing the game. "Who tis there?" She asked.

The door flew open and slammed into the wall to reveal a VERY pissed off unicorn. He was white and appeared to be wearing a suit. He mane was BRIGHT neon pink and looked like a Afro from the disco days. His nostrils were flaring as he looked at Luna then his eye fell on me. His look went from rage to confusion right back to rage. He literally stomped over to us and got right in front of Luna and she just sighed and paused her game.

"May we help thou? If ye can't see we art partaking in a videogame." Luna said with minor annoyance of having her game interrupted. Blueblood on the other hand was furious.

"Yes you may help me! I would like to inquire WHY you did this to me!?" He asked with a pompous arrogant tone. 'I hate this guy already...' I thought.

"I woke up this morning and was doing my daily routine when a servant SO kindly pointed out what somepony did to my mane!!" I winced as he almost shrieked. Luna had a faint look of strain of her face as I saw her eyes flick from Blublood's face to his mane then back.

I was doing my best not to burst into laughter either, but Luna was slowly losing it. I decided that I would need to break this up so that I wouldn't be thrown in jail for self defense against a unicorn. I looked at the clock and faked a MASSIVE gasp.

"Princess Luna! Your meeting with the mammalogist! You are going to be late!! I am so sorry Mr.Blueblood, but your conversation with the princess must wait. Now please go so she may get ready!!" I quickly pushed the unicorn out of the door and closed it. Locking the door I placed a ear against it to listen. I heard grumbling and then hooves stomping off down the hall. I sighed and look at Luna.

"You know you owe for this right?" Then without any other thing holding us back we both burst into laughter again. I nearly fell on the floor I was laughing so hard. Luna was the same if not more as me. I walked over and sat down, still laughing. After we calmed down, Luna picked up her controller again and continued her game.

"That was funny....." I said still chuckling. We both broke out into laughter again.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

I sighed as I stepped into the private school. It had been a wonderful night hanging out with that princess. As I have heard before in my class rooms and hallways. 'Luna is best princess.' I thought as I walked down the hallway.

I put my headphones back in and played a few upbeat songs. I walked down the lit up hallway, bobbing my head to the music playing into my ears. I was really happy right now. I had made a great friend, I had helped play a prank, and best of all....I made a new gamer. I was honestly happier than a 5 year old kids on Christmas. Happier than a nerd getting to get a sneak preview at the new Dr.Who episode. HAPPIER THAN- *THWANGK*. My merry waltz down the hall to some awesome beats came to a end by a rouge locker to the face.

I had fallen on the floor and with my headphones in, I didn't hear all the profanities I was probably bellowing out at the top of my lungs. I used one hand to nurse my mostly likely broken nose and the other to rip my head phones from my ears. That's when I heard all of the words that were spilling from my lips.

"...itch, cunt, slut, mother fucking son of a 2 cent whore." I was a little revolted by my choice of words, but none the less agreed on how they show my anger and pain.

"Oh god I am so sorry! I just got to this school and was sure I was alone in this hall! Oh jeez, here let me help you up..." The man said. I felt my arm get picked up along with my glasses. "Here again I am so sorry! I just-"

I held up my hand and rubbed my face. Due to not having my glasses and just recently getting busted in the nose with a metal door, my eyes were not working really well. Now getting hit in the nose doesn't sound bad, but in actuality it really screws you up. My senses were all sort of screwed up at the moment. My eyes were blurrier than usual, I couldn't smell(No really?), my touch was a little dampened, and my hearing was slightly ringing. I rubbed my head a little bit to clear the oncoming head ache.

Finally when my face hurt less, I took my glasses and looked at the man in front of me. He had blue eyes and black hair that was a little shaggy. On his body he was wearing a black zip up sweater with a cobalt shirt under neath. I couldn't read what was on it but all I got was 'Join the.......we have cookies and shit'. He was about my height if not a inch taller. I shook my head to slightly clear it and looked at him. He looked worried and slightly embarrassed. I blinked a few times before actually speaking.

"Look I know you sorry, but it's mostly my fault. I should have been looking where I was going. Besides if I was I would have probably stayed away from the lockers. Anyway now that that is cleared up...My name is Slayer. You?" I said holding out my hand.

He smiled and shook it. "The names Leonard. Leonard alpha, but you can call me church."

"Church?" I asked looking a little perplexed.

"It's just a nickname I got. again I am really sorry about that." He said with apologetic expression. I chuckled and showed him my arms.

"I have had worse believe me. So why arm you here? I mean like what classes are you taking?" He smiled again and pulled reached into his back pack. It was a simple dark blue backpack with a Sniper emblem stitched into the front of it. He pulled out a schedule and showed me his paper.

"math, science, history....Electronic music class? You like techno and dubstep?" I asked and he nodded. "Huh well good knews is you have math and history with me. So see ya then!"

As I began to walk away he tapped me on the shoulder. "Um hey. Could you possibly tell me where this dorm is?" I nodded and motioned for his dorm number. I saw it and laughed. It was literally right across the hall from me.

"Yeah I know where

that is. Grab your stuff and follow me." He did as asked and we began to trek back to the dorm hall.

Author's Note:

I saw the new episode.....Trixie gained a rank in my top 10 ponies.

Chapter 9: A day of rest...mostly

Chapter 9: A day of rest...mostly

I walked down the hall with Church thinking about the day. We stopped outside our dorms and I pointed to his door.

“So that is your dorm. Don’t know who your roommie is though sorry...” I said slightly exausted. Letting the weight of the day suck the last of my energy away, I walked into my dorm leaving my new friend to figure out who he is stuck with. I flopped onto the couch and nearly fell asleep right there, but a yell across the hallway screaming “WHAT THE FUCK, I FORGOT MY PHONE AT HOME.” made it harder. Snickering at my new friend misfortune, I layed my head onto the arm rest.

Lyra, on the other hand/hoof, had other plans for me. She pounced onto my chest and knocked the wind out of me, causing a minor coughing fit. For a small 60-75 pound pony she sure packs a punch.

“YOU’RE HOME!!” She almost yelled into my face. ‘Jeez mind of a puppy much?’ I thought. She was trying to wiggle her hooves around my back so she could hug me and crush my ribs in the process.

And right at that moment, Church walks through the door and asks “Hey do you got anything to dri-” he stared at the human and pony on the couch. The pony on top and the human just staring back.

“What’s up?” I asked too tired to feel the awkward in the air.

“I...I am sorry was I interrupting something?” Church asked.

“Nope. What were you asking?” I responded casually.

“Um..Right. do you guys have anything to drink? My dorm is completely empty. Of everything ‘cept furniture.” I nodded and pointed to the fridge.

“Help your self. Grab me a soda while you’re there kay?” Church nodded and went into the walking kitchen. Lyra on the other hand and wormed her hooves around my back and was bear-hugging me(or trying to).

“Uh.... Does the pony want anything to drink?” Church asked.

“Her name is Lyra ya dum dum.” I said too tired to say anything witty. “Well do ya want anything lyra?” She shook her head and laid her head down. ‘Damn pony...makes me even more sleepy.’ I thought. Church walked over and handed me my Dr.Pepper while and sat down in the chair near the couch.

“You know... You look like you can fall asleep any second now. You should sleep, but I say fuck sleep.” Church said.

“Normally I would agree, but I have *YAWN* scho-ZZzzzzz” I passed out before I could even finish.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

When I woke up I noticed that I somehow managed to flip in my sleep and spooned Lyra. Taking my arms off her I stretched and looked at my unopened drink of the coffee table. Next to my drink was a small folded up note. I picked it up and read it “IOU 25 dollars - Church” . I blinked and reread it.

“That son of a-” I started to say when I heard someone yawn. I looked to my left and saw lyra stretching before getting up. She drowsily looked around until her eyes fell on me. Sleepily she crawled over and laid back down into my lap. Yawning again she fidgeted and fell back asleep.

“Damn the ponies....Can’t stay mad for more than 5 seconds....I AM going to punch church when I see him though.” I said making a vow. I gently moved Lyra off and got up. I went to my room and changed into a simple red shirt and another pair of jeans. I went to my computer bag and took out my laptop.

Starting it up, I glanced at the date. ‘Saturday? really? well shit....’ I thought. I put my hands behind my head and just thought of what I should do. That’s when a familiar feeling of scales appeared. I looked down to see my small snake nudging my foot.

“Oh right. you're hungry right?” Arrowhead nodded and I got up. I went to the fridge and pulled out the bag of crickets Fluttershy gave me. I pull a few out and held them out. I flinched when his head snapped and ate one of the crickets. I pulled my hand back and freaked out a little bit. Arrowhead just went and ate the crickets off the floor and then went to the coffee table. He coiled up and just fell asleep.

“That was freaking scary....” I got up and went to my computer again. I pulled up one of my favorite games. Minecraft.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

RIght as I was in the middle of the process of finding those elusive gems known as diamonds, I heard some music coming from the other side of the hall. Getting slightly irritated of being interrupted in my quest, I got up and went to the hall and knocked onto the dorm’s door.
The door opened to reveal a slightly crazed Church. I looked at him for a second before I looked into his room. There were energy drinks EVERYWHERE. Redbull, Monster, Nos, you name it he drank it. My jaw would have dropped if I had not been grabbed and dragged into the dorm.

“DUDE..YOULLNEVERBELIEVEWHATHAPPENEDLASTNIGHTI-” Church just kept spouting off random stuff about pancakes, money, and a department store. Then to calm him down I got my revenge on him for taking my money. I tapped him on the shoulder and as he turned gave him a firm slug to the chest.

Taken completely by surprise he fell onto the couch behind him. Taking advantage of the situation I walked over and turned the dubstep down and walked over to him.

“Church what the hell happened? I was playing my game and then all I hear is a shit load of wubs pierce my ear drums. Then I walk over here and all I see is you on a caffeine high and an ungodly amount of energy drinks on the floor!!” I wasn’t pissed, but I was damn well frustrated.

Instead of answering Church just fell asleep snoring. I face-palmed and picked up the trash. After I got all the mess picked up, I left the dorm and went back to my game. But as I entered my dorm I noticed that Lyra was beginning to wake up. After another adorable yawn, she rubbed her eyes and looked at me.

“Mornin’ sleepy head.” I said never taking my eyes off my game. She yawned again and got up. Not saying a word, she walked past me into the bathroom or her room. I couldn’t tell because I too busy killing creepers. I finished my mining and was returning to my home when I heard a scream from across the hall.

“AUGH MY FUCKING HEAD!..” ‘That would be Church’ I thought.

Instead of doing anything, I just kept playing my game. After a few more minutes there was a knock at my door.

“Come in.” I yelled still not leaving my screen.

As the door opened to a somewhat annoyed looking and pained Church that came stumbling through.

“Fucking hangovers.” Church mumbled.

“Hangovers? all you had was a SHIT LOAD of energy drinks. What your feeling is the sugar crash. it’s always worse waking up to it instead of falling asleep to it. If your looking for any medicine it’s over next to the fridge.”

“Thank you...” Church silently said as he stumbled through the kitchen to where the medicine cabinet. Taking a few asprins and tylenol, he grabbed a drink and walked over to the couch. I silently laughed at his misfortune and paused my game.

“So want to tell me WHY you took the money in my wallet and I found you blaring dubstep with a hell of a caffeine high?” I asked.

“What money? also... I have no idea what you are talking about.” Church said with a perfect poker face.

I just gave him a emotionless sniff and pulled out the I.O.U. “This....and the bag of energy drinks in you trash can....” I said with a deadpanned expression.

“Fuck...” Church silently Cursed “I did not write that I.O.U! I swear!”

“So this isn’t your signature....and this reicept I found on the floor while cleaning up YOUR mess. Let’s read it shall we?” I said holding it out.

“Son of a...” Church silently cursed again. “Okay! I borrowed you’re money, but have no idea where those energy drinks came from though!”

“3 Nos energy drinks 10 dollars. Pack of red bull 5 dollars. 2 monsters 4 dollars....Need I go on?” I asked with a still deadpanned expression.

“God... Damn.” Church cursed silently for the third time “Okay... I might have bought those things, but I still have a fucking caffine hangover... Can this wait? Please?” Church asked slightly annoyed.

“Eee...fine. But I want my money back soon.” I said returning the I.O.U. to my pocket and going back to my game.

“I will never back his 25 dollars...” Church said silently hoping that I wouldn’t hear him HE WAS WRONG.

“Hmm? what was that?” I asked pausing my game.

“Nothing at all.” Church said a bit nervous

“Reeeally? cause last time I checked I have fairly good hearing...” I said with a deadpanned expression again. Then Lyra came out drying her head off. “Oh herro Lyra.”

“Is she done using the bathroom?” Church asked ‘Way to dodge the question there Church.‘
I thought. “Eee nope...Hey Lyra go and lock the bathroom will ya?” She looked at me weirdly then compiled.
“Suit yourself” Church said then quickly got up and rushed to the sink in the kitchen.

“if you gonna vomit do it in the trash like a normal person. cause if you vomit in my sink I will make you clean it...”

“Toooo LATE! Herrrk, BLEEEH” Church said as he evacuated his stomach.

“Damn it Church....You’re cleaning that sink out....” I said with a slightly disgusted face.

“Hey be glad! Atleast it wasnt on your *BLEEEH* Coffee table. God damn hangovers...” Church said as he vomited

“You’re still cleaning that sink out....”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

After a few minutes of torture for Church, I got up and helped cool his stomach. I grabbed a coke from my fridge and gave it to him along with a glass of water.

“Next time you're gonna do that I am locking you out.” I said as I sat down next to church on the couch. “Feeling better?”

“A little....Head still hurts though. And what the fuck was in those energy drinks anyway?” Church asked holding a hand against his forehead.

“Oh you know...Caffeine, sugar, the usual. You just were enough of a moron to drink forty of the damned things. Now just stay seated and nurse that cola.” I got up and turned on my Xbox. I powered up one of my favorite games. Godfather 2. I ran around extorting small buisnesses and kiling hookers with a crowbar before I got a message.

Queen of the night sent you a friend request.

I clicked it and accepted the friend reques before I picked up my headset to answer the message voice chat the soon followed.

“Who the fuck is that?” Church asked looking pained.

“Oh a friend.” I got a shit eating grin and listened to luna as she talked into the mic.

“Hail Slayer! How art thee faring?” Luna said.

“I am doing fine. Other than my friend who is currently recovering on my couch, I am just fine.”

“Oh. Wait. Think im going to... Herrrk *Burp* Nevermind.” Church said holding a hand over his mouth.

“One sec....”I put the mic down and grabbed the trash can from the kitchen and placed it in front of Church. “You hurl in that...Anywhere else I will have Lyra make you clean it with your tounge....” I sat down and picked the mic and controller again.

“... Ehh, I’ll just evacuate to my room then” Church said as he got up and slowly walked out of the room to keep him self from vomiting any more.

“Kay feel better! welp what do wanna play?” I asked going to my Xbox.

“How about the Mass Effect's multiplayer?” Luna asked. I chuckled and put the game disc in.

“You love that game now don’t you?” I asked. I got no response. I laughed and started up a private match and sent Luna a game invite. Before she joined though, I got a message from someone called....

The Alpha sent you a friend request.

His message read out:

I made it across the hall. And found you’re xbox profile. ALL WITHOUT PUKING!

I Laughed into the mic and sent him a message back saying “Good for you! Now go the whole day!”

I started up the game and played for a little bit until I heard a small noise across the hall followed by a muffled. “Why god why?!” I chuckled and continued my game.

Author’s Note:
Hey everyone! This is Slayer here to say HURRAY! I got two chapters out over the weekend! Thanks to my friend The Alpha for editing and helping with the story.

The Alpha: I like me.

Oh hush you and get back in the corner....Anyway! yeah go check out his story!

Chapter 10: Redemption and a funny day part 1

Chapter 10: Redemption and a funny day part 1

The days went by fairly quick. Hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, and finally weeks turned into 3 months. Thankfully those months were not as hectic as my first week at the school. All that happened was the following: I woke up, I ate food, I hung out with Luna some more, I hung out with Brony, hank, Lyra, and the others for a little while, Constantly got harrassed by my study-hall teacher, and falling asleep in miss sparkle’s class, and finally!....Getting zapped by Miss Sparkle’s magic.

All in all...A pretty good few months. I also had started to get a little more affectionate towards Luna lately. I know what it means, but I was really conflicted. The reason why? If you grew up with my family you would know what I am talking about. Anyway Today was Luna’s birthday and I had gotten her a pretty decent gift, if I do say so.

I grabbed my keys and wallet before shouting to Lyra. “I am going out again Lyra! Don’t wait up for me!” I Yelled to the sea-foam green unicorn.

Just as I was about to leave, I had just remembered something. ‘Today’s Luna’s B-DAY!’ I thought excitedly and rushed back inside. I grabbed a small box wrapped in deep sea blue(A/N:SUPER dark blue) paper. I smiled and slipped the small box ,as well as the card with it, into my pocket THEN I went out the door.

Made my way outside and saw a carriage waiting. This was odd because usually I just I had to flag one down before I could go. ‘I should probably consider getting a motorcycle or something....’ I thought as I walked to the carriage. I tapped a the pony tied to the front and asked him if this carriage is taken.

“Actually this is a pre-paid carriage. Right now we are waiting for a human named Slayer.” He said looking at me. Then he pulled out a paper and held it out almost next to my face as if comparing. “OH you’re the human! Please hop in mister Slayer!”

I blinked and walked towards the door. I opened the carriage up, got in, and made myself comfortable.

All of a sudden, Church burst through the door and yells “Wait up! I got some gifts too!” I looked through the window and looked at the present and I could not believe my eyes. It was a over sized box that was about the size of my T.V. I was not really sure how he could balance it in his arms. He got into the carriage and put down the oversized package on the opposite side of the me.

“What the? … Why are you putting this in here?” I ask Church who just stared at me.

“Oh this? I was just thinking of burning it in front of Luna’s face...This is a gift for Luna, you dumbass.” Church said with his voice dripping in sarcasm then he said “Give luna my regards.”

“OH NO YOU DON’T...” I said as I grabbed the collar of his shirt. I pull him into the carriage and tap on the top of the carriage, giving the ponies outside the ‘okay’ to take us away.

It takes off before Church could have left and I chuckled as he clawed at the door for a moment before glaring at me.

“The fuck man?!” He said. I just leaned over gently, placed a hand on his shoulder, and ever so carefully....Slapped him. “OW. What is wrong with you?!”

“Well...A) You stole my wallet and never payed me back...B) You broke Celestia’s favorite vase....And last be most certainly not least...C)You deleted all of Luna’s data on her Xbox with that magnet....WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?”

Church slightly cringed at the mention of his less than fruitful endeavors. He sighed and slumped against the seat behind him.

“So in short....Not only do you owe me. You owe both Celestia AND Luna....So yeah I am dragging you along so you can apologize.” I finished and looked out the window.

The simple view of the world flying by was pretty relaxing. Other than the fact I had to tell Luna that I was going back to my world for the winter vacation.

“This totally ruins my weekend” Church muttered under his breath.

“Oh shut up. You've been in your dorm ALL freaking week! Only time you’re out is to go to classes and to tell me about stuff that really has no meaning at that moment.” I said before continuing my plan of thinking how I was going to escape Luna’s wrath.

“Okay there is a window in her game room.....That goes over a 100 foot drop into the garden...That’s not going to work.” I mumbled to myself and then thought of other things.

“Ugh maybe I am just over reacting...She’ll be fine! Or I am gonna die a horrible, painful, video game influenced death...” I muttered while I face-palmed. I then noticed how Church was just staring at me, with a smug smile on his face.

“You are in love aren't you?” He suddenly says.

“WHAT!? WHAT...*Ahem* what on earth or...Equestria at this point..Would make you ask that!?” I said with a blush slowly creeping onto my face.

“You show all the signs for it... You can’t stop thinking of Luna, Umm shit... What was the second sign now again?” Church said.

“Um...wasn’t it like constantly talking about or to the crush? Something like that... And what are you talking about I am not thinking about her!” I said giving a poor defense of words.

“You get very flustered sometimes when I mention her name... Like a few moments ago!” Church said back.

“That has a simple answer...That answer being that you make perverted joke about it AAAAAAAALL the time.....I only got you to stop by smacking you with that rubber chicken Lyra loaned me....Still don’t know why she had that....” I said scratching my head as I thought about it.

“Well I can’t help that Luna has one good - “ Church started

“Say it and I will end you with whatever is in this box....”

“See. You are very defensive when someone speaks bad about this person... or in this case pony... I mean alicorn.” Church stated.

“Alicorn is a pony....Anyway the reason I am defensive is...is....Shut up!” I looked back out the window and sighed.

“Trust me... When it comes to love no one knows better than me!” Church said whilst smiling.

“You got slapped by your teacher for saying you only listen to her, so you can see her flank sway when she talks....” I said. Church stopped smiling and looked at me.

“That was only cause I... Don’t have my charm any more?” Church just said questioningly

“How about the other day when you tried to talk to that feminine stallion? That one worked...” I said while snickering.

“Like I told you that was cause of a bet I took! Nothing more, Nothing less.” Church said. Looking a little bit annoyed.

“You nearly kissed him.....” I said still smirking. “Besides you never told me who you made that bet with...”

“I made it with a guy named Tucker, no one that you know....”

“Tucker? Wasn't that the name of the stallion? Like it was Table Tucker or something...” I said faking innocence.

“No! The stallions name was Fairy Bell! I’m pretty sure of it!” Church exclaimed

“Oh really? What about how he gave you his number?” I said with a triumphant smile.

“And what about these text’s that I got from Tucker?” Church said as he held up his phone. I took the phone and looked at the text. Then I pulled out my phone and noticed something very peculiar.

“That...That is Lyra’s nickname you twit!!” Then I burst into laughter.

“Wrong contact.... You know what.... Shut up you are further ruining my weekend.” Church said more annoyed that ever.

“More ruined than when Fairy shot you down?” I said smirking more than ever.

“Here is the money” Church said as he picked up a back out of his pocket. “Is about 25 - 30 bits. If you keep annoying me further... I’m not sure what I might do.” Church said pretty annoyed.

“Oh no! You might call your friend Fairy on me? Oh dread, oh the horror!” I said as I snickered even more. “Okay..Okay I am done...”

Church didn’t say anything more. He just sat there and looked out the window himself. I noticed that he was looking a bit tired.

“Oh come on! You can pick on me, but I can’t pick on you?”

“Look. I first just came here to give this huge gift to Luna by just giving it to you then you could have told her my regards. But nooo! You have to fucking drag me along and you don’t even know how much I freaking hate noble parties! Not only that but I’ve not gotten much needed sleep either. And a sleep deprived Church is one grumpy Church.” Church yelled as he rubbed his forehead.

I just stared at him for a moment. “Sooo....You angry because you’re addicted to energy drinks? And besides! Luna isn’t having a fancy party. She doesn’t like the nobles either....Why do you think all those nobles had flaming tails the other week? Besides you’re the only one that knows I am hanging out with Luna. Well besides Lyra. I didn’t think that ponies could hold a dropped jaw that long.” I said with a small confused expression.

“I think I have a migraine coming on... And don’t you fucking dare do a ‘What? Is Mr.Migraine coming on to you?’ because then I swear to god I will kill us both right now.”

I snickered at the joke and sighed. “Look you can get some aspirin and a coffee when we get to the castle kay?” I said while patting him on the back.

Church just sighed at that and kept looking out the window before saying “Why is it always so damn bright here in Equestria?” to no one in particular

“Well...I dunno....maybe you could ask Celestia...”

“No.... Just no... Then I probably will have to apologize for that vase... I can’t help that it was in my way...” Church said as he was rubbing his temples

“....Do I need to pull out the video?” I said with a deadpanned expression.

“You recorded that shit? God damn it.” Church silently cursed for himself.

“Don’t worry I will keep it to my self....AndLuna,Lyraandtheothers.” I silently added.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

The carriage arrived at the castle grounds and we stepped out into the light. Church gave a small groan. “You need some sunglasses?” I asked.

He silently nodded and I pulled out a pair of midnight blue sunglasses. “If you ask who’s they are I will box your ears...” I said putting the glasses in his hand before tipping the carriage drivers and pulling out the packages out. I slipped mine into my pocket and handed Churches his over sized package.

“I really shouldn't have gotten this... I might outshine Luna’s new Boyfriend.” Church said as he groaned.

“Hmm? She has a boyfriend?” I said speaking before thinking.

“Oh yes... I’ve heard he was getting her roses and such... Dark violet roses that matches the night sky. Just for her.” Church said as he carried his over sized his package.

“Umm....May I ask who this is?” I asked again. ‘I really got to think before I speak....’

“George. At least I think it was George, since I just barely overheard Luna speak with about him with Celly.” Church said.

“You know she hates it when you call her that...and are you fucking with me? Cause I swear to god.....I am just setting myself up aren’t I?”

“Pfft, I can call her whatever I please! Ha.. ‘fucking with me’” Church quietly snickered “And no... I’m not pulling your leg here. I’ve overheard Luna talking to Celly about George saying how she got those nice roses from him and going on how nice it was to have such a good boyfriend” Church said with little emotion in his voice. I failed to notice his smug looking expression Church had on his face.

“...I swear to god if you’re messing with me...I am going to give Luna a new window for her birthday.” I said with my eye slightly twitching. “Let’s just go in...”

We walked inside and looked around for Luna’s game room. “I swear she moves it every time we come here.”

“Good to have at least some kind of variation right?” Church asked.

“Yeah I guess.....Wait..I hear music. Gaming music.” I said as I went down a hallway to our right. Then I found a small room with Luna’s emblem and a sticker of a Xbox remote. “This must be the place.”

I knocked on the door and heard a few voices. Luna opened the door and she peeked her head out.

“Who is it?” She asked with a small smile.

“Well go on! I’m not saying squat.” Church quietly hissed. “I’m calling that shes playing Halo right now.” Church quietly added.

“Huh? Oh hey Luna! It’s us! Church and me!” I said. She smiled a bit wider and fully opened the door.

“Oh Slayer! Church! Glad thee could make it! Come inside!” She said while gesturing us inside.

We walked inside and sure enough Church was right. A copy of Halo 2 was playing over her Xbox. I looked around and saw a few others around the room. Specifically, Tia was over sitting on a couch with a smaller pink alicorn. Shining armor was grabbing a drink from Luna’s fridge of soda, energy drinks, and water.

“CALLED IT!” Church yelled and then noticed how everyone was staring at him. “Oh... Uh.. Don’t mind me?” Church just smiled sheepishly.

I snickered and told him to set the over sized package on the table with the others. I kept mine in my pocket because I wanted it to be somewhat of a surprise. I heard Church say something about his arms when he put down his package with the others presents, it was more or less “Ugh finally my arms.... I was...” I didn’t hear everything he said, but there was one clear part of his little muttering and it was “Now... to get out of here, without anyone noticing...”

“Church....Stay.” I said with a exhausted sounding tone.

“Damn... Fine... I’ll stay, but only cause you asked nicely.” Church said.

“Define nice....” I quipped. Church just smiled evilly and looked at Luna before saying

“Oh Luna... Mind coming over here? Slayer wants to say something.”

“I am going to kill you...then bring you back to life...and kill you again. Slowly...”

Luna nodded and trotted over to us. When she got to us she looked to Church.

“What did thee want to ask?” She said.

“Oh... Slayer was too embarrassed to ask this... But he wants to know if you lov-”

*THWACK* “Oops I am so sorry Church! You had a bug on you, but it’s gone now!” I said with a innocent voice.

“Oh thats fine... I’ll resume my question, Slayer wants to know if you lo-”

*THWACK THWACK* “Oh my god. why are these bugs everywhere?” I said looking around as if I was searching for something.

“Ahh yes... Flies.... Any how do you lo-”

*THUNK* Church falls onto the floor, groaning and a hand on his head. “Oops I didn’t know I had this chair leg in my hand. I got the fly though!”

“Where did you get that leg Slayer?” Luna asked pointing to the chair leg in my hand.

“Oh this? I just um....Hey are those chips?” I said going over to the snack table.

“Hey... Luna mind helping me a bit?” Church asked.

“Hmm? Oh sure!” She says and her horn lights up and picks Church up from the floor.

“Thank you” Church said as he got back to his feet. He then out of nowhere hugged Luna, who was now blushing.

“Um it is quite alright.” Luna said.

To be honest. I was grinding my teeth and crushed the hand full of chips I had grabbed. I had put the table leg down, but I was really considering picking it back up. Or the entire chair.

“Oh but I just want to thank you in a proper way. And I kind wanted to hug you because you look ni-”

*THUNK* I had thrown the leg clear across the room, Somehow missing everyone else and without anyone noticing. “Sorry that was my fault! I should have kept a better grip!”

Church fell to the floor gripping his head again and then saying “Jealous much?”

“What? Slayer is jealous? Of what?” She said looking at me. I walked over and picked Church up.

“Nothing!....Oh look a elite is about to kill you in your game!” I said.

“OH NO!” She leaps into the couch nearly throwing Tia and the smaller alicorn off. Then I glared at Church and gently smacked his back.

“Are you purposefully trying to piss me off? Because I got more chair legs...”

“I’ve proven my point, that you are in love with L-” Church said quietly.

*thwack* “Shut up, it isn’t love...or...well...maybe. SHUT UP.*sigh* Just please...don’t tell anyone.”

“Okay.... On one condition.” Church said.

“That I stop beating you with a chair legs?” I said holding up another chair leg.

“Two conditions.”

“Okay what...”

“One is that you stop beating me with a chair leg. And the other is that you confess your love with her... right here and now.” Church said with a smug smile.

“You know this chair leg looks pretty lonely...Want to be it’s friend?” I said holding it up.

“Three conditions!” Church hissed. I just raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue.

“Hand over the leg, Confess love and hand over the bits I gave you in the carriage.” Church said with a serious look on his face.

“I am really honest to god about to kill you if you don’t stop....I will do the first two, but I am keeping the bits. You still owe me from the first time we met ya jerk.” I walked over to a nearby chair and put the leg back then walked back over to Church.

“Fine keep the bits. I don’t need them anyways, in fact I didn’t need the four thousand doll-- wait. I did not say that.”

“You’re in deep shit aren’t you?” I said getting serious.

“Ummm.... No.” Church replied pretty quickly.

“Do I need to get the chair leg?” I said.

“I thought you were gonna say wood. Ha.” Church asked.

“I am going to hurt you. Anyway..... I will give you the money on ONE condition.” I started. “The condition being that you tell me if you’re in debt or made some bad choices.”

“I’m not in debt. Thats for sure, but I’ve done some bad things...” Church said.

“Like? Oh my god you killed someone or somepony didn’t you?!”

Church then grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, and put a hand over my mouth.

“Hush the fuck up! We have the freaking captain of the royal guard in the same room.” Church hissed.

I took his hand off my mouth and opened the door. “Get outside. We can talk out there.”

We both walked outside and I closed the door. I looked down the hall on both sides and then sighed.

“Okay what did you do?” I said slightly worrying.

“Look. Calm the fuck down, I just sold most of my energy drinks and a few old things. You would be surprised how much I got for selling those.”

I face palmed and sighed. “Oh thank god....I thought you were part of some gang...”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? I thought you were part of some gang the way you beat me up with that chair leg.” Church said back.

“Oh that comes from living with 3 brothers and a patriotic father...all of which are gun enthusiasts. My brother even bought me some brass knuckles for my old school...” I said sighing at my family.

Church laughed out loud at that. “Sounds like one awesome family you got there Slayer.” He smiled after he said that.

“Well at least you’re in a good humor now. Come on. I am going to keep up on my end of the debt...” I said and lead him back to the room.

A/N: THIS IS WHERE WE END IT. This is going to be a 2 part.

The Alpha: We could make it longer...

Do I need to get the spray bottle again?

The Alpha: I’ll just stand in my corner.... Still liking me.

Oh shut your face. Anyway hoped you enjoyed the chapter. We are going to work on the next chapter soon. CYA!

Chapter 11: Redemption and a funny day part 2

Chapter 11: Redemption and a funny day part 2

We walked back into the room while luna was playing her game. We walked over to the table and grabbed some snacks before Church began to badger me about my ‘debt’ to him.

“So how are you gonna do it?” He asked.

“Do what exactly?” I asked. He gave me a deadpanned expression and stared for a moment.

“Really? You don’t remember? Goldfish memory right here... Anyways, Confessions. Ring a bell?”

“Oh god. Do I really have to do this? I mean....Right in front of all the ponies?” I said gesturing to the group of ponies that were happily enjoying the party.

“Ye-” Church started. He then noticed that Shining armour had moved away from the mini fridge. “Hold on... Im just gonna...” He quickly made his way to the mini fridge, opened it and pulled out a energy drink. All in one swift motion before returning to where I was.

“Now where was I?” Church said before taking a sip from his newly opened can of redbull. “Oh yes... Yes, go confess right in front of the group.” He said, with a huge, devilish grin on his damned face.

“You know I can’t do that....I am too chicken...” I said while rubbing the back of my head. I took a moment to go to the fridge and pull out a soda. “Cola nice..”

I walked back and leaned against the table.

“Can you please repeat that?” Church said with a smug smile on his face.

“Repeat what exactly? The fact I am chicken when it comes to women or what Luna had in her fridge?” I asked while sipping on the drink.

“HAHA! I got it on tape!” Church yelled gaining looks from everyone in the room (again). “God... Don’t mind me...” he said a little bit embarrased.

“Got the most well known fact in the school on tape? Oh no!” I said with fake dread. “You really need to listen to gossip more....”

“I was more talking about the fact that you are gonna scream since well.... Check your arm.” Church said whilst looking at my arm.

I looked down and saw a spider. I blinked at first and slowly reached onto the table. My hand worked it’s way across the table until it felt something. “YAH!” I yelled as I brought what was in my hand onto my arm.

I probably should have checked what was in my hand before attacking the spider because I put a plastic knife an inch into my arm.

“GRK....*Whine*...Church...get me some napkins.” I said while not letting go of the utensil.

“GHAHAHA!” Church just laughed at my misfortune.

“GET THE FREAKING NAPKINS...” I yell/whispered to him.

“Oh my god you are.. ha.. fucking stupid... Heh... Fine take a chill pill.” Church said as he reached for the napkins on the table. The thing he didn’t notice was I missed the spider and it crawled onto his drink.

Bad time for Church to be arachnophobic. I wildy remember one time walking in to Church’s dorm and noticed that he was running around with a bat trying to kill a daddy long leg spider. You know... The small spiders with freakishly long legs, pea size body, and can’t bite you. Anyways, he was basically screaming “DIE MOTHER FUCKER!” over and over again since he kept missing with his bat.

I had to take the bat away, put him outside, and then I put the small thing outside on a tree next to his window before telling him it was okay. Then I had to search the place for webs.

“Um Church?” I started. He had handed my some napkins before picking up his drink. I put the napkins around the wound and was watching the small spider crawl all over the drink.

“What? I handed you the napkins! Now you want some redbull? The fuck man, you are really needy today”

“CHURCH! Look!” I said nodding my head towards the drink.

“Look at what? The drink? What is wrong with it?” Church said as he started to inspect the drink. I took my hand on the makeshift bandage and pointed to the offending arachnid.

“Oh nothing just that...” I said with sarcasm dripping from my words.

“Huh?” Church placed a hand on the top of the can and spun it around and saw the small spider. He then flinched so much that he on the verge of tipping over both himself and the chair he was sitting in.
“Woah... Woah! *Crash* AGGH! Fuck!”

“Dude...Spider!” I said pointing to the small creature still on the drink.

“I’m going to murder that fucker!” Church said before getting up and grabbing the drink. He barely missed the spider as he took the can in his hand.

“Where is it?” He asked before it crawled onto his hand. Then there was silence, for about two seconds. Before Church erupted into a girlish scream. Earing looks from all of the ponies in the room (for the third time)

He began to freak out until I grabbed him and just slapped the spider leaving a small smudge on his hand.

“Ugh.... Really? You had to kill it on my fucking hand?” Church asked.

“Shut up. You didn’t stab yourself.” I said as I remembered the knife still plunged in my arm. I sighed and grabbed it. I whimpered as I pulled it out. Imagine a giant splinter in your arm. That is pretty much what it felt like.

Remarkably the redbull it self was still standing on the table and did not spill one drop of energy drink, to Church’s fortune. I sighed and grabbed some fresh napkins before applying them to the wound. I went into the bathroom and looked for something to stop my arm from hurting. I found a small gauze and some aspirin.

“Either this is for when Luna’s hoofs get locked up and when she get’s headaches from staring at the screen for too long...Or she is just always prepared....Or both.” I said.

“She’s got what in there? I fucking hope its aspirin, cause my headache is still here. And its like a killer hangover.” Church said. I chuckled and took a couple extra pills.

I walked out and put two in his hand before patching up my arm. “Ugh that’s better....now what were we talking about?”

Church took one aspirin and some redbull then swallowed “Uh.... Something about, Con... fess... Oh right. Confessions!” Church said. Again with that devilish smile on this darn face.

“Okay okay I will...Just not right now okay?” I said as I finished up with my arm. It wasn’t too bad, just hurt like hell. ‘Why am I always hurting myself somehow?’ I thought as I inspected it.

“We will do this the hard way then...” Church said then turned toward Luna and the other’s, he then stood up from his chair and walked over to them.

“Oh Luna...” He started

“Church I will get something worse than a chair leg...” I said hoping it would do something.

“Okay... Everybo- I mean pony! Slayer wants to confess something!” Church said with a huge grin on his face.

“I hate you so much right now...I wish that spider was still on you.” I said while face-palming.

“Oh I know you love me.” Church said back with a smile on his face.

“I am going to put a spider’s nest in your bathroom and reverse the lock on your dorm door, so I can lock it from the outside....” I said glaring at him.

“Well incase you haven’t noticed everyone is looking at you right now. hehe.” Church said almost collapsing with laughter.

“Well fine... um..uh...” I began. “WELL let’s see...Um...where to start?”

Church, Luna and the other were waiting patiently on Slayer to start. All looking at him with a smile, except Church. He was basically having the time of his life on the expense of Slayer.

“Well..what is it Slayer?” asked Luna. I let a gulp escape me and I sighed.

“Okay...okay okay okay...How do I put this? Um...Luna?” I began.

“Yes?” She answered.

“You know how we have been hanging out a lot right?” I asked she nodded. “Well...Um during that time I began to...You know what? Fuck it...Luna I have feelings for you! There I said it!” I yelled before running out of the room.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Third person view)

The room was silent as the door slowly closed. With a small click everyone began to look at each other. Except Church. Who was currently standing there with a goofy smile on that damned face of his.

“Um....what happened?” Shining Armor said.

“Well it seems like, Slayer... Confessed” Church said with a little sarcasm in his voice.

“Well I saw that coming.” Said the pink alicorn called Princess Cadenza.

“How?” Church asked.

“He~llo? I am the Princess of love!” She said to the human.

“Seems legit.” Church said while looking at the pink alicorn with a confused expression.

“Ugh. Look everypony should have seen this coming. He was the first pon- person, Sorry, to accept her. He introduced her to videogames, movies, soda, Etc. They hung out for who knows how long. It was bound to happen.” She said with a matter-of-fact tone.

“Huh... That does seem awfully legit... Besides you sound more like a spy right now. But I’m not pointing fingers since that explanation seems pretty much logical and if not the most logical right now. By the way, who are you?” Church said and asked.

“Oh I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but you may call me Cadance!” She said with a happy smile.

“My name is Lenoard Alpha... But you can call me Church like every other sane pe- … pony? Does.” Church said as he held out his hand to shake with Cadance. She placed her hoof in his palm and shook his hand.

“Alrighty now that we have the introduction out of the way... I’m going to track down Slayer and stop him before he goes on a rampage.” Church said as he quickly went over to the door and opened it. “Oh and i’m not kidding about the rampage part.” He turned around to see all the ponies in the room have horrified expression on their faces.

“HAHA! I’m just kidding! You should all see your faces right now.” Church said before quickly taking out his phone and taking a picture. “AWESOME! I even got a picture!” He said before quickly running out and starting his search for Slayer.

They all watched as he left and they turned to Luna. “Hey Luna you okay? You haven’t said a word.” Celestia said with a little worry. Luna just looked at them and walked towards the door.

“Luna, where are you going?” Celestia asked.

“We..we are going to go give a response.” She said as she walked out.

“Well this has been...eventful?” Shining said. The last two ponies left just stared at him. “What?”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Church’s point of view)

As I left all of those ponies behind in Luna’s game room I was looking at the picture I had taken before I left.

“I got my self one awesome christmas postcard” I said to no one particular, I was still laughing a bit from the expressions they had.

They were genuinely horrified probably at the small word ‘rampage’ I mean come on. Slayer can tell when I’m joking but my humor seems to be too cruel around ponies. I might have to tune down the jokes but I don’t really give much of a fuck to care.

I walked down the hall looking at random stuff in my phone until I heard someone mumbling/singing outside. I walked out and saw Slayer sitting down out on a balcony. It sounded like something I heard from the other side of the hall when I was walking down hall to my dorm.
I must tell you right now... I’ve always thought that Slayer had a bit of weird music tastes but I can’t complain that much.

As I walked closer I could hear a instrument accompanying his singing. Then I heard what he was singing. (Imagine on the guitar.)

I walked up silently listening in to what he was singing... Classical music.... Ugh. So fancy.

Luna, won't you guide me home?
Luna, won't you calm my fears?
Princess, alone I pray to you,
Princess, I don't know what to do

He... He actually didn’t have that bad of a singing voice. Too bad he never took the singing lessons in school. Oh well thats his problem not mine.

As I just stood here I was thinking ‘What do?’

Won't you tell me how to break this spell?
The darkness ever present in my mind?
Are the shadows alive? I can't tell,
Are there puzzle pieces I am meant to find?

Oh... Break this spell? Really Slayer? How cliché. That gave me an idea infact! Haha! This is so going to be good.

I took out my phone and navigated the menus to the record option. I opened it and started recording the rest of his singing and I had no idea how long that was going to be. I was hoping this wasn’t a ten minute song because that would overload my phone.

Never felt so helpless, nor so trapped,
I can't escape, I'm drowning,
Until I look up in the sky enraptured,
For you have found me,

I just kept quiet as he continued... And why does the air smell like pizza?

And this night I know I am by your side
And this night I know I don't have to hide
Luna, you have guided me home
Luna, you have calmed my fears.
Princess, I give my thanks to you
Princess, I give my thanks to you.

My stomach quietly growled as the music came to an end. I ended the recording and opened up a text and attached a file. Then I sent it to Lyra and I also wrote a message to her.

[Listen to this Lyra,For it sounds better than you when you play the lyre. Hey! That rhymed!]

I was going to wait for a respond text from Lyra, but decided against it since well. Slayer was looking like some sort of emo right now. And it hurts me just looking at him like that, even though I will never admit it. I really fucking care about that guy, yeah sure he might walk my nerves sometimes and I’ve only known him a few months but looking back at all the dumb shit we’ve done during those months... He’s like my brother and I can’t just let him wallow in depression or whatever he’s doing right now.

“That backfired didn’t it?” I said out loud. He turned around and looked at me. He had a few tears, but wasn’t crying. ‘Totally was crying.’ I thought.

“Yeah you could say that I guess.” He said while slumping a little. He put the guitar he was playing it on the ground next to him.

I walked up and leaned against railing on the opposite side of the balcony from where Slayer was sitting and looked over the landscape. ‘Pretty awesome view. Oh hey! Look an eagle!’ I thought

“Pretty nice view isn’t it?” I asked Slayer.

“Heh yeah I guess....It’s even better at night. Not kidding. try it sometimes you will really see a difference.” He said as he looked out. He sighed and put his head in his hands. “I fucked up didn’t I?”

“I must say. You handled it pretty well, until you said ‘Fuck it’ thats when shit went down south.” I answered truthfully.

“Yeah...Maybe I could have chose some better words. and maybe running away wasn’t the best idea either...” He responded.

“Look, I have no idea why you are sad... But you should be at least happy that you said something before the winter holidays, I know that you are going back somewhere.” I said.

“Yeah...I guess. It would suck if my family came here, right?” He said with a half hearted chuckle.

I chuckled with him before saying “I can see it in front of me. Three other guys looking exactly like you. That shit would be so fucking confusing, not to mention you would be hard to find.” I said before laughing.

“Yeah..You could tell a difference though. Height. All my bros vary in height. My oldest bro is 5ft 10, My middle brother is 6ft 1, and my third bro is 6ft 5. You could tell the difference.” He said joining in the laughter. “Best part is I am the youngest!”

“Oh that is Awesome! You being the youngest means you can do all the stupid shit and get away with it!” I said thinking back to kindergarden when you could do anything and get away with it.

“Not really. My dad was a bit of a hard ass. I got away with some stuff, but anything BIG got me in trouble.”

“Oh... I don’t know why but this reminds me of a song.” I said thinking about one special song.’

“Hmmm?” He hummed.

“It begins something like this... Ahem” I coughed a bit to clear my voice.

Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle don’t grumble, give a whistle.
And this will help things turn out for the best.

I sang that bit. Slayer just looked at me questionably, like I’ve gone mad or something... Well I can’t help that I might be a bit Loco in the Coco.

“Oh crap.... I might have sung that part.” I said to no one in particular. He chuckled and picked up the guitar again.

“Hey remember this song? I played it when you blew everything up on that LAN server I made.” He began to pluck the strings to play a familiar tune.

“Oh yeah... That was fucking awesome. I remember how everyone was raging at me afterwards.” I heartily chuckled at the good memories and smiled afterwards.

“Yeah and when I played that over the mic everyone just shut up.” He said with a smile. “Hey..Thanks for coming out here.”

“Heh... Its the least I can do of all the time you’ve covered my ass.” I said with a huge smile on my face.

“Yeah, it is the least you could do isn’t it?” He said with a laugh. “Look thanks for making me do that. I probably would have been too chicken shit to do it if you hadn’t made me. Did, uh..Luna react at all after I left?” He asked.

I turned around and leaned against the railing with my back and looked at the door way. I saw something dark blue moving. ‘Speak of the devil...’

“Well...” I said as stood up properly although a bit wobbly after all of this leaning I almost tripped, but I regained my balance and looked over the railing and immediately regretted my decision to look down.

“Hey Slayer... Have I ever told you that I hate heights?” I asked

“Um Nope. Why do you live in a 2 story dorm with a window if you have vertigo or height phobia or ...just your hate of heights.” He asked.” And why did you not answer my question?”

“Nevermind my question about having told you about heights... Because” I turned and started to walk back inside. “She can probably tell you herself”

As I said that Luna passed my side and I walked back inside, I felt my pocket vibrate and as I checked what it was I’ve received a text from Lyra. Just when I was gonna respond to it I heard Luna say

“Hi Slayer.” and it made me think of ‘great sexual tension’ I’m not entirely sure why either.
I also made the bad choice of trying to text and walk. In a corridor filled with stuff. And with my luck. Shit was bound to happen.

So as I was just strolling through the hallway I bumped into someone... or rather somepony.

“Watch where the fuck you are goi-” I looked up as I said that and guess who the fuck was standing in front of me.... Princess Celestia. Of all the fucking ponies. It had to be her.

“Why hello there Church.” Celestia said. I gulped and was pretty much trying to back way. Since well when it comes to me and apologies. I downright royally suck at them.

“Oh fuck me...” My brain had some bad word choices.

“What was that Church?” Celestia asked taking a step forward. I instinctively took one step back, since Celly looked a bit menacing right now

“Uh... N-Nothing at all Celly. Fuck! I mean Celestia.” I stammered out.

“Ye~s Church?” She said with a somewhat suggestive tone whilst taking yet another step forward.

“What are you doing Cel...estia?” I said as I took another step back.

“O~h nothing. Just looking for something to ‘do’.” Celestia said with the same tone. Took a large step getting right in my face. I swallowed hard, since I was not sure what she was gonna do right now.... but my brain got the suggestion she made.

I was nervous, had the most powerful alicorn basically in my face and I’m pretty sure she is horny. ‘NO WAIT... BAD BRAIN BAD!’ I leaned back a bit with my head to get a little distance
between me and Celly... But as I leaned back Celly just closed the distance between my face and hers.

“This is getting really creepy you know.” I said trying to take another step back, but instead I backed into a door.

“Oh I prefer to think of it as insistent.” She said getting even closer. “Now Church? I want to know something and you better tell me the truth. Okay?” She said. ‘Fuck... Shes gonna ask me about the vase ain’t she... Plan B activate! Door behind me escape route found.’

“Uh yeeeah....” I said as a grabbed a hold of the knob and twisted it ‘I hope to fucking god this doesn't lead to a supply closet’ as I opened the door and burst through it what I saw was...

“A bathroom... Are you fucking kidding me?” I deadpanned and sighed.

“Oh I think that it is quite alright. Now back to my question.” She gently turned me around to face her again. “Now I need you to answer honestly okay?”

I nodded. “Where is my sister?” she said with the same tone before backing up and smiling.

I exhaled loudly. “Phew... for a few seconds there I was...” Celestia looked at me questioningly. ‘If I finish that sentence I’m fucking screwed.’
“You know what.... Nevermind. Oh and to answer your question she’s just down this hall...” I said. “At least I think she is.” I added quickly since I’ve been walking and looking down into my phone quite a while.

“Okay thank you Church!” She said as she began to walk away. I could not help, but to stare at her flank as she walked. It was swaying hypnotically...

“Uh Church?” I quickly looked up as she spoke. “I think it was a good thing we stopped by the bathroom. If you get my ‘point’.” She said and turned the corner.

“HA! Good one Celly!” I yelled. I then realized how hungry I was... I’m going to regret this. I went after Celestia since I have no idea where I was or where I was going.

As I got up to the corner, I peeked around it to see that Celestia was walking down the hallway. I looked for any cover to use since I would be sneaking after her. I decided to fuck the logical option of asking her where the food court or Lunas game room were since well. That would only lead to Celestia cracking more sexual jokes. I swear sometimes I think she is coming on to me.

As I looked down the hallway and saw a conveniently placed cart. I had no idea what it was doing there, or how it got there. But I sneaked up and took cover behind it.

“Um Church why are you following me? Didn’t you get a eye full earlier?” She said as she turned to my hiding spot. She giggled and sat waiting for me to come out. So much for that plan... Well maybe if I... Um... Shit. Well here goes nothing.

I stepped out of my cover and looked at her.

“Well? Is this just some devious ‘plot’? Or do you actually ‘need’ something.” She asked giggling at her puns.

I walked up and stood beside her then threw my left arm around her and raised my right arm in the air while saying.

“Sexual jokes.... Sexual jokes everywhere” before bursting out laughing. She soon joined in with the laughter before Luna and Slayer came walking down the hall.

“Well well well. I knew Celestia was a hound dog, but Church? I guess everyone has their preferences.” Slayer said chuckling. Celestia blushed and I groaned.

“Why did you have to go and put that image in my head?” I said whilst looking at Celestia, then i looked at him.

“Oh come on! That was perfect! Besides Celestia isn’t just some kind of mare that bangs every pony/person she sees. I mean come on!” Slayer said while chuckling.

“I trust that you’ve worked out your problems with Luna now?” I asked Slayer. Before walking over and leaning against Celestia. Who just blushed and looked at me.

“Yeah everything worked out...” He said. “Speaking of problems, what’s up with you and Tia?”

“Huh? Oh yeah... We are in a relationship.” I said with a very bad or perfect poker-face. I have no idea.

“Normally I would say something derisive or mean, But that is honestly...The WORST poker face I have ever seen.” Slayer said. Oh well, it was worth a shot.

I just laughed at his comment and smiled.

“So what happened with you two?” Celestia asked.

“Oh that is an interesting story.” Slayer said.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Flashback time!)
(Slayer’s P.O.V.)

“Hi Slayer.” Luna said as she walked up next to me.

“Hey Luna. Are you uh...you um okay?” I awkwardly said. She just chuckled and looked at me.

“We should be asking thou that question.” She said. I smiled and gave a small chuckle. “Well? Art thou?”

I sighed and leaned back. “Yeah I guess you could say that. Kinda more or less worried if I fucked everything up or not.” I said running a hand through my hair. “Well? Did I screw everything up or did I just make an ass out of myself?”

She chuckled and sat down in front of me. “Well I will admit it was rather...Abrupt, but it still did put things into perspective.”

“Like....What exactly?” I asked looking at her curiously.

“Well why thou were always staring at us for a few minutes before looking away.” She started

“Okay I neve-...okay once.” I agreed.

“How thee always seemed to know what I needed before I asked.”

“That could have been just simple courtesy!” I stated.

“The way thou showed me all those songs.” She said.

“I did that the first time we met!” I somewhat yelled.

“How thee helped us when my neck cramped up from long nights of gaming.”

I began to speak against that then stopped. ‘Damn...The one thing I can’t deny.’ I thought.

“So...How long have you harbored these feelings?” She asked. I sighed again, lifted my glasses, and rubbed my eyes again.

“That...is kinda hard to explain.” I stated.

“Well we have all day. Come on tell us!” She said playfully nudging me.

“Okay okay...Well, I guess it started about a month or two ago. We had so many things in common and the same taste in music. I loved the night, You're gorgeous..” I was letting it all out now. ‘No point in holding back now.’ I thought. “....We love the same videogames, you love to go outside and meet people or ponies regardless, You don’t give a damn about what others think unless they are your friends, Your a amazing artist, and..and.. I could go on, but then I think I would die of oxygen loss...” I said. I let in a gasp and then panted for a moment.

“Wow.” She said. I looked at her and she appeared to be thinking about something.

“You okay?” I asked. She sighed and looked at me.

“Thou really feels this way?” She asked. I place a hand on my chin before saying.

“Hmm- Yep. I do. No doubt.” I responded.

“Well then. Come here.” She said. I complied and sat down next to her. “Now we need thou to look us in the eyes and tell us you have feeling for us. The proper way.”

I gulped and did as I was told. I looked her in the eyes and cleared my throat. “Alright..Luna? I have been meaning to tell you. That I....SON OF A BITCH WHY IS THIS SO HARD!?”

“It’s alright take thee time. If thou means it then we can wait.” Luna said. I sighed and tried to summon up what little courage I could.

I took a deep breath and started again. “Luna...I have been meaning to say this for a while now, but was too much of an jackass to do it. It took a kick in the ass from a good friend to finally say this, but here goes....Luna. I Love you.” I said before letting out a massive breath and looked down. I looked back up and saw her smiling. “Did I do good?”

Instead of answering Luna lunged at me and kiss me with enough force to knock me over. Emotions from all directions were coming at me. Many emotions came at me, but most of all I was happier than I could have ever been in my life and the complete surprise that the girl I had a crush on was kissing me. ‘Life is good....’ I thought.

After a few minutes she ended the kiss and she looked at me. “Thou did just fine.” She said with a smile.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Back to reality)
(Slayer’s P.O.V)

“So yeah that’s the story.” I said with a happy sigh.

“Not bad.... I take Luna’s your Gir- Mare? Friend now?” Church said questionily.

I thought about it for a moment till my smile grew even wider. “Yeah I guess so...”

“Well then... Let me be the firs-” Church started

“Congratulations!” Celestia said

“SONOFA … Stole first gratz.” Church gave Celestia the evil eye.

“What?” She just Smiled sheepishly at Church.

“Heh heh Well thank you...Both of you. Now let’s go back and finish this one’s party shall we?” I said giving Luna a playful nudge.

“Hell yeah! I’m totally up for it. Besides I left my Redbull there.” Church said

“Is that all you care for?” Celestia asked him.

“No I care for little ol’ Celly here too.” He said with a playful smile

“Oh you!” Celestia said back.

“I swear you two are made for each other...” I said shaking my head. “Well come on now let’s go!”

We all began to walk back to the room until I pulled Church back for a moment. “Hey Church? Look I just wanted to say thanks. If you hadn’t made me do that I don’t think I would have been able to do it at all. So as far as I am concerned....You have redeemed yourself.” I said and held out my hand.

“Hey don’t mention it. Actually wait! Do mention it! Since everyone in class seems to steal the credit for everything I help them with!” Church said as he took my hand and shook it. I laughed out loud and we walked back.

‘Today was a good day.’ I thought as we walked.

Author's Note

Yeah another long chapter! Everyone clap your hands! or Hooves!

Church: Or wings. Those work too.

Yes they do. Anyway everyone thank Alpha or “Church” as he likes to be called. For the long chapter.

The Alpha: I still do like me though! Also, I must say. We did one fine job on this chapter never thought we would pass 5k words.

Agreed. Anyway again We love you guys, Have a nice night, morning, afternoon, or midnight! CYA EVERYBODY!! :P

The Alpha: BYE! :D

Chapter 12: Chaos from home

Chapter 12
Chaos from home.

As we walked back to Lunas game room I began to think of what this new relationship meant. I mean would I be treated different for dating a princess? Most certainly. Maybe I should ask Luna if we could keep this secret.

‘No that would be rude. And it would hurt her feelings.’ I thought. ‘I might as well try. I REALLY hope she doesn’t freak out at me. But not now. Later.’

As I just stopped thinking about keeping our relationship a secret I saw that Church and Celestia were whispering about something... And they were looking awfully diabolical about it. I took a few steps closer to try and figure out what they were saying.

‘Knowing those two they are probably planning to prank everything and everyone in the building.’ I thought. Sadly, they stopped talking as I neared. The main reason being that we arrived at Luna’s gaming room.

“Welp we are back.” I said.

“No shit, Sherlock.” Church said

“Oh shut up....” I said giving him a small tap across the back of the head.

“No need to get all upset now, Grumpy.” Church said as he rubbed the back of his head where I tapped him. I chuckled and gently pushed him through the door. Which he promptly and dramatically stumbled and fell down.

“Don’t be such a drama queen Church.” I said while stepping over him. The rest walked through and we saw Shining and Cadance...Well let’s just say we interrupted them eating each other’s faces.

“But Celestia loves drama que-” Church looked at Shining armor and Cadance. And his face went from pretty much plain, to mischief in about 0.01 milliseconds.

“Well hello there!” I said with wide eyes. They suddenly jumped and looked at us. Cadance wasn’t blushing that bad, but Shining armor was redder that cherry mountain dew.

“O-o-oh Hey guys!! We were just um...” Shining started. Then we all burst into laughter as he started. He blushed more and huffed before sitting down.

“Shining. You’re terrible at cover ups....” Cadance said while face-hoofing before joining in the laughter.

We all sat down on the couch while Cadance nuzzled shining in an attempt to calm him. “Oh come on Shining! We were just kidding. It’s not like we are going to blab about what happened here! Right Church?” I said glaring at Church who was not sitting where he used to sit.

I looked around for a moment and saw him nowhere. “Where did he- Oop there he is...raiding the fridge.”

“What?! I’m hungry!” Church mumbled as he had something in his mouth while digging through the fridge.

We laughed for a few more moments and continued the party. After a few hours of gaming, Church raging, Celestia trolling, Cadance introducing herself to me, and Shining and Cadance going off to do something else, it was finally time for Luna to open her presents.

“Alright, Tia, you’re her sister so you go first!” l said giving her a gentle nudge. She just rolled her eyes and walked over to the table to grab her gift. As she walked you could tell she was purposefully swaying her hips. The other thing I noticed was Church’s staring. I could have sworn I saw her wink at the hypnotized human before walking back. He didn’t stop staring though.

“Uh Church?” I said nudging him with my elbow. “You okay?”

“Huh what?” He said as he snapped out of his trance. I looked around and saw everyone looking at Luna while Tia placed the gift in front of her. I don’t think anyone saw him staring....hopefully.

“I hope you like this. I saw it while I was on a business trip and thought you might like it!” Tia said as Luna ripped the present open. I gawked then smiled at what Tia got for her little sister. It was a midnight blue snuggie with Luna’s cutie mark on it.

“Why is her flank so hypnotizing?” Church mumbled. I nudged Church and glared at him. He just continues and I sigh. Luna, on the other hand, was looking at the snuggie as if it was an abnormally fast slug.

“Pray tell sister, What is this?” She said nudging the blanket with sleeves.

“It’s a blanket!” She said with a shit eating grin. Luna looked confused for a moment until Tia continued. “With sleeves!”

“Ooooh” She said with a little awe. After a few funny moments Luna put the giant snuggie on and looked over it. “We love it! Thank you Tia!”

Luna hugged Tia and then it was Cadance’s turn to give a gift. She pulled out a pink box with a small blue bow on the top.

“This is from both Shining and myself auntie!” Cadance said with a happy smile. I saw Church staring again. ‘What is going on in his mind?’ I thought.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Author)

The author walked into the blank white space with a another person.

“Hey everyone! It’s me and Alpha here to clear somethings up. All you are probably wondering what’s going through Church’s mind right now...Let me break it down for you.

This is what we see.

And this down below....

Is what Church sees...

That cleared up? Good. We all have these thoughts. If you deny them you will only hurt yourself. “ Slayerbroman said

“Why are we stopping? I thought you said we were buying Ice cream.” Alpha said.

“Oh I just had to clear some stuff up...Don’t look up.” Slayerbroman said while walking off.

“Why would I look up? I’ll just hurt my eyes... Oh and can I have a toy too?” Alpha asked.

“You gonna whine on the way home when it breaks after the first use?” Slayerbroman replies with a questioning look.

“No.” Alpha replied quickly.

“Fine...” Slayerbroman says.

“YAY! I’m going to get a toy!” Alpha yelled out of happiness. They walk off out of sight. Then a door opens and closes.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

I quickly blinked and shook my head. ‘Why do I feel like I just had someone walk into my head?’ I thought as I rubbed my forehead.

“Well what are you waiting for? Open it up auntie!” Cadance said clapping her hooves together excitedly. Luna quickly tore into the present and a small cardboard box was revealed. That didn’t even last because it looked as if it evaporated the way Luna opened it up.

Luna let out a small squeal of joy as she picked up a set of rather bulky headphones with a mic attached to the right earphones. Luna put them on and they completely covered her ears and the mic hung down next to her muzzle.

“These are great! Thank you Cadance!” She said slightly yelling. I laughed as Tia began to say things and Luna would just reply with ‘What!?’. I walked over to Luna and gently pulled them down to rest on her neck.

“Those headphones are sound eliminating Luna. When you put them on you won’t hear a thing.” I said chuckling. Luna blushed and chuckled with me. I got a strange look from Cadence and I walked back to Church. “Well you’re up big guy.”

“Like heck I am.... I want to see what you got her.” Church replied

“Let’s settle this the normal way alright?” I said holding out my hand.

“The ol’ Rock, Paper, Shotgun right?” Church asked and held out his hand.

“Scissors Church...Scissors.” I said. “Ready?”

“Who needs Scissors when you have Shotguns? Oh and yeah... I’m ready.”

“Cause bullets bounce off of rocks and rock beats the shotgun.” I said. Then in unison we did the chant. We went through the motions, Although Church said shotgun instead of scissors. He pulled a finger gun and I did rock.

“Welp I win. Your up.” I said with a smug grin. The ponies, on the other hand, just stared at us.

“Damn it.... Fine and wipe that smug grin of your face.” Church said with a groan.

“Nope.” I replied still grinning.

“Okay my gift is.... that big ass gift over there... Just screaming ‘open me’.” Church said whilst pointing at it. He walked over and picked it up with much strain and brought it over.

Luna looked slightly surprised at the large gift and got up. Unfortunately, She was still wearing the snuggie and fell down when she tried to walk. Regaining her footing, she carefully walked over and began to unwrap it. We all just looked at what was underneath, Shining’s jaw dropped, with complete surprise. It was a 50” inch, flat screen T.V.

“So that is why you had to sell some stuff...” I said looking over the machine. Luna on the other hand looked a little stupefied.

“Yeah well... I felt rather bad for showing her that little magnet trick a while back... And besides, its her birthday. You’ve got to spoil her a little.” Church said looking apologetic. I patted him on the back and chuckled.

“Well at least she won’t kill ya now.” I said letting the chuckle take a little more life.

“Well it’s your turn now!” Church said pushing me a little. I sighed and reached into my pocket. Pulling out the small paper wrapped box, I walked over and tapped Luna on the shoulder.

“Welp...’Ere you go.” I said holding it out. She picked it up and began to unwrap it. Soon enough it was open and a small white box was shown. She looked at me quizzically while I gestured for her to continue open the small box.

When she was finished she held in her hooves a small Ipod nano. Midnight blue with black writing instead of white.

“Um what is it?” She asked poking it with one hoof. I chuckled and pushed a small button. The screen came to life and she gasped.

“It’s a Ipod! It does the same as my MP3, just easier to put music onto.” I said. She looked at me with a massive smile. “After you’re done enjoying your party I can help you get some music on i-MMMPH.”

Instead of saying thank you and giving me a hug, She tackles and kisses me. ‘Best thank you EVER...’

Everyone else had different reactions. Tia was smiling with a shiteating grin, Church was fist pumping and chanting “knewitknewitnknewitknewit!”, and finally Cadence and Shining armor’s jaws dropped.

I saw that Celestia was whispering to Church again, but this time she handed over a small bag of some sort.... I guess they took a bet when they were whispering earlier. ‘I would normally say they were jerks, buuuut....I am getting kissed by the goddess of the night, so I don’t give a fiery five fingered flying fu-’ My thoughts were interrupted by Luna separating herself from me.

I took a small silent breath and looked over at the group of ponies and a human. “What? Can’t a guy get a kiss from his marefriend without everyone staring?” I said looking over them.

Cadance got up and walked over to us. “Um, could you excuse us please?” She said. I looked to Luna and she shrugged. I nodded and then Luna and Cadance left. I got up, still smiling like an idiot, and walked over to the couch. I sat down next to Shining and let out a happy sigh.

“So..” Shining began. “..You and Luna...Are you guys together now?”

“Eeyup.” I said with a grin. He smiled back and patted me on the back.

“ ‘Bout time someone came and swooped up that mare’s heart. Good luck to ya. From what I can see you guys are gonna get along fine.” He said giving me a slight confidence boost. ‘This guy is pretty nice when he isn’t breaking down my door and throwing me against a wall.’

I saw that Church had pulled out his phone and holding it towards his ear. ‘He’s calling someone right now?’ I thought... Like if he knew what I was thinking he said

“Look I’m not calling anyone, I’m getting called.” He said before I heard “What the bloody hell are you talking about Church?!” from the phone. And also a lot of techno in the background

“Not talking to you Matt.” Church calmly replied into the phone “Then who are you talking to, mate?” I heard from the phone surprisingly good over all the techno that was being blasted through the speakers of Church phone.

“Um..Church, Who ya talkin to?” I asked while waiting for Cadance and Luna to return.

“Matt... Matt! Christ, Quiet down!” Church yelled into the phone.

“So is that a no on telling me?” I asked not really expecting an answer.

“Matt for fuck’s sake! Someone is asking me a question! No I don’t want you to send over your bitching mom... Yes I want you to send over Bruce with the car!” Church yelled again at the phone.

Everyone looked at him then back to what they were doing and I chuckled slightly. “Seriously who is that?” I asked.

“So he’s on his way? Good! When will he be here? Thirty minutes? Okay. Should give us enough time to do crap before leaving.” Church said this time with a indoor voice. He then hung up and faced me. “Sorry what?” He said.

“Who were ya talkin to?” I asked for the third time.

“Oh that was Matt. Just a nice guy I know.” Church replied.

“Ah....” I replied. I went and grabbed a soda from the fridge again and Cadance walked in with a small skip in her step. Luna walked in with a hoof slowly rubbing her head. “I have a couple ideas of what happened.”

“What kind of ideas?” I heard Celestia ask from behind me. I jumped and nearly spit my soda and of course Church just laughed at my misfortune.

“Not the ones you’re thinking of.” I said coughing a little bit. She just blushed and I chuckled. “And I was thinking of what happens every time a mare or girl gets a new boyfriend. She has the one friend that has to know EVERYTHING.” I said stretching the last word.

“Oh like Celly don’t know everything already.” Church replied sarcasticly.

“Yeah I guess. Anywho let’s finish this up shall we!” I said. Then I felt my phone go off and the stupid ringtone played. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the caller. “Huh...It’s my family. One second guys alright?”

I walked out into the hallway while answering the phone. “Herro?” I said into the phone.

“Yes, honey is that you?” My mom said. I did not notice how Church peeked out through the door.

“HEY SLAYER YOU FORGOT YOUR JOINT!” He yelled into the hallway with a huge evil grin on his face. I screamed and punched him out of complete reflex.

“Screw you Church!” I said as I saw him stumble back into the room laughing. “Sorry mom...Friend troubles.”

My mom and me continued to talk for , what felt like, an hour before she gave me a piece of news that nearly made me faint. “So mom other than invading in my personal life what did you call for?”

“Oh right! Honey we aren’t bringing you home for Christmas!” She said and I frowned and furrowed my brow.

“What do ya mean? I thought I was coming home to visit you guys!” I said a little pissed. I wanted to see my family to catch up again.

“Oh but thats the thing! You aren’t coming to us, We are going to be visiting you!” She said. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. “Honey?...You there?”

I shook my head and put the phone back to my ear. “Well thats great mom! I am looking forward to seeing you guys here!”

She said she had to go and hung up while I just put my phone in my pocket and slumped against the wall.

“Oh dear god I am so screwed...” I said putting my face in my hands.

“You fucking done yet?! You’ve been out there like fifteen minutes now! We’ve still got like 15 minutes left before Bruce gets here!” I heard Church yell from inside the room.

I lifted my hands from my face and looked at him. “Wait I am going with you and your friend? I was under the impression I was taking a cab again.”

“Fuck no! It’s winter right? And winter calls for some power-skidding through the streets!” Church said to me.

“You know thats illegal right?” Celestia asked Church as she peeked her head out the door.

“Oh hush now Celly. Make an exception just for today.” Church replied.

“I thought she already did the way you to have been looking at each other.” I said with a smug smile. “Well mostly Church looking at Celestia.”

“Oh ha-de-fucking-ha.” Church replied with a frown.

“What do you mean?” Celestia asked me.

“Oh well that is an interesting thing. Church here has been looking at yo-” I began

“NO.... Don’t you fucking dare.” Church gave me the evil eye.

“And why not? I think I might want to return the favor you did for me with Luna!” I said still smiling. “Any way he was looking at yo-”

“Wait shut the fuck up! Do you hear that?” Church said looking down a hallway.

“Is that...music? or is that hooves against tiling?” I said looking down the same hallway.

“It’s …. Both?” Church replied looking confused. Then a few guards poured in and one stopped directly in front of Celestia.

“Your majesty! There is a vehicle outside the castle and it’s blaring some strange music!” The armor clad pony said slightly stressing.

“Oh.... Thats our ride Slayer.” Church said.

“Gr~eat. Just what we need. A car that is probably being swarmed with guards right now.” I said rolling my eyes. “Alright let me say goodbye to Luna and I will come with.”

“Alright just don’t take thirty fucking minutes. I’ll wait by the car.” Church said.

I walked back into the room while Celestia and Church sorted out the guard situation. I walked back in and looked around. I probably should have just checked the couch cause she was there getting harassed by her niece. I walked over and sat down next to her.

“Hey Luna I have to go now.” I said giving her a hug.

“Awww. Oh well thanks for coming to my birthday.” She said hugging back. I looked at Cadance and she had a shit eating grin that would make Church jealous.

“Hold that face.” I said. I pulled out my phone and took a picture of her face and saved it. “Anyway, Sorry I have to go, but I promise I will come by soon to help out with that Ipod.”

I got up and began to walk away, but Luna stopped me. “One moment Slayer!” She said. “You forgot something!”

“Huh?” I looked over and patted myself down. “What did I forget?”

“This!” She pulled me in and kiss me again. ‘That was sweet and clever! Cheesy, but still!’ She ended the kiss and then pushed me out the door. I smiled like a idiot and walked down to meet church.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

I got to the car and sure enough Church was leaning up against the car with someone else next to him. He was wearing a solid black hoodie. His eyes were covered with reflective, aviator glasses. His jeans were black as well, but the pockets were glowing with neon blue trims. I mean like legit glowing. Faint, but enough to be noticed. His shoes even had the same glowing addtions. ‘Either A) he is a bouncer. Or b) he just likes to glow.’ I thought.

I didn’t have to ask because I could hear them conversing while I walked up to them.

“So... You’re telling me that the most powerful pony lives in this castle?” The guy who, I assumed, was named Bruce asked.

“No fucking shit, why do you think its a fucking palace Bruce?” Church said.

“Actually it’s ponies. There is two. Well three, but one doesn’t move a million ton object in space.” I said as I walked up to him.

“I assume this is the guy you were talking about Church?” Bruce asked.

“Yeah thats him.” Church replied whilst nodding

“Sup? My name is Slayer. I guess you’re Bruce?”

“Yeah thats me, I’ve heard alot about you.” Bruce said.

“Was it me saving Church’s ass or something else?” I said grinning.

“He never mentioned that you saved his ass.... Once” Bruce said looking to his right straight at Church who was grinning sheepishly.

“Alright then...What did he say?” I said rather curious.

“It was mostly stories, like how you and him were on rooftop of the school once ‘cause of a bird that had taken something from you.” Bruce said.

“Oh that story. God...It took my MP3 and I was not in a good mood that day....Sweet ride by the way!” I said as I looked over the car. It was solid black with neon blue edges glowing bright. I mean it’s still light out and I can still see the glow.

“Thanks man... The boss got it for me, he custom designed it too. It’s also extremely tuned.” Bruce replied.

“Well are we fucking gonna stand here and talk whilst freezing our asses off? Or get in the fucking car and go home?” Church said irritated.

“Okay okay, jeez who rammed a baseball bat up your arse?” I said while opening the back seat’s door and climbing in. ‘Hmm. Leather. Fancy.’ I thought as I buckled myself in.

“Alright. Before I start up the car, where are you going?” Bruce asked as he buckled himself in.

“I am going home?” I said questioningly.

“Home as in?” Bruce asked again.

“THE FUCKING DORMS YOU JACKASS!” Church yelled as he was getting pissed off.

“Christ! Calm the fuck down!” Bruce yelled.

“Jesus, what’s up with you today? Celestia get up in your jammy again?” I said nudging him.

“Damnit! Just drive! Matt is going to be pissed if you are missing for too long!” Church said.

“Actually he’s quite forgiving. I can wait for a few moments.” Bruce said grinning a bit. “So what’s this with...What was her name Celestia?”

“Oh fuck not you too Bruce.” Church said groaning.

“Oh dude you will love this...but let’s drive so Church can’t leave.” I said grinning the same. With that he started the car and began to drive off the lot.

“Fuck this.” Church said as he turned on the stereo making this song vibrate the whole car ‘cause of the bass it had.

“Alright sit tight cause this is a funny story...” I said as we were on our way home, but before I could say anything more Bruce power-skidded through a turn and laughed a bit...

“You were saying?” He asked before I continued.

“Well I was saying that- you know what never mind. Tell ya later.” ‘This is going to be a long ride.’ I thought as we power-skidded through another turn.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

We arrived at the dorms soon with Bruce doing one last power-skid to stop us. I shakily stepped out and leaned against the car. ‘Well that was interesting.’ I thought. The car it self though were still vibrating from the beats that were coming out of the stereo.

“Well come on dude. We got to go alright?” I said tapping the side of the car signaling Church we need to get going. It was dusk now and I wanted to get inside before having to waste the night away waiting for Church to break his neck by bobbing his head to dubstep.

“Oh right... Heh, that was a fun ride wasn’t it? Anyhow thanks for the ride Bruce.” Church said

“Anytime Church, just remember to swing by. The crib doesn’t feel right without you.” Bruce said.

“Say that to Matt and you’ll get fired.” Church said before chuckling and stepping out of the car. Bruce chuckled with him and before Church closed the car door I managed to get in a last word.

“See ya Bruce!” I said before walking towards the dorms. Bruces reply was to rev the engine before speeding off.

“Nice guy.” I said as Church walked up to me.

“Yeah, I’ve known him for a few years now. Hes the one who told me which off my old stuff that got me the most money.” Church said.

“Huh...Well you are gonna get you chance to see my family by the way...” I said groaning as I remembered my predicament.

“What?” Church said, clearly not getting what I said.

“My family is coming to town instead of me going to them....Ugh what am I going to do?” I said rubbing my head for the oncoming headache.

“Dont fucking ask me! Its your family.” Church half yelled, looking nervous

“What’s up with you?” I said looking at him.

“Nothing! Lets just go inside! I’m freezing my ass off.” Church lied. I can feel it, although it is freezing outside.

“Dude...Come on what’s wrong? I mention my family and you freak?” I say opening the door to the dorms. We walked in and I stomped the snow off my shoes.

“Uh yeah... Its nothi-” Church began before I heard a guitar playing.

“Hey what’s that?” I said stopping for a moment. “It sounds pretty familiar.”

“Its nothing! Lets just go?” Church asked hopefully. Although curiosity was getting the better of me.

“No come on. What is that?” I said looking around. I walked over towards the tune to, hopefully, find it.

“Uh sure I’m just going to go to my dorm now...” Church said suspiciously.

“Oh no you’re coming with me.” I said grabbing his jacket. “Come on!”

I dragged him around until I came towards the tune and stopped when I saw Brony and Hank listening to Hank’s phone.

“Not that bad! Wonder why he was singing this.” He said as he stopped the music. I walked down the hall and waved at them.

“Hey guys! What cha’ listening to?” I said stopping next to them.

“Shit! Let go!” Church said almost in a state of panic, trying to squirm out of my grip.

“What is wrong with you today?” I asked him. “So what is it?”

“Oh nothing. It’s um...Well it’s apparently you singing.” He said. I blinked.

“It’s what now?” I said trying to see if I heard that correctly.

“It’s you singing. Got it from Lyra. She got it from someone else.” He said. I blinked and slowly turned my head to Church .

“Did she now...” Right as I said that Church squirmed out of my grip and ran faster than I could ever imagine.

“RUUUUUN!” Church screamed as he dashed with all his power to his dorm and unlocked the door, flung it open, and entered, closed then locked the door again. All in one fluid quick motion.

“Guys remind me to kill him later. With a ax.” I said walking to my dorm. I got to my door and unlocked it. “And a potato peeler!”

I walked in, not even looking around, and plopped myself on the couch. Then I pulled out my phone and started a text.

“You gonna die later you know this right?”

I sent it off and slipped the phone back into my pocket and sighed. Then the door opened and revealed a somewhat pissed off Lyra.

“Hey Lyra! How are you doing?” I said. She stomped over to my spot on the couch and crawl on top of me to get her face into mine.

“How am I doing? A better question is where have you been!?” She said. I chuckled and hugged her.

“I told you this morning. Out.” I said with a chuckle. She didn’t let up. She forced herself back up and glared at me.

“Tell me.” She said with a determined face. Not only that I also heard some muffled music coming from the other side of the dorm “Church is back home I hear.” she said looking a little bit relaxed ‘she cares for him? IMPOSSIBLE!’ I thought.

“Eeyup! He came home with me. Anyway I can’t tell ya. Yet. I got to-” I was interuptted by a knock at the door. “Huh? Who could that be?”

I got up and went to the door. Before I turned the knob, I turned and looked at Lyra. “By the way we are going to have a talk about how my voice is being heard across the hall....” I said slightly glaring.

I opened the door and saw something I was not prepared for...

“Honey!” My mother said as she hugged me. I was in a state of shock as I saw my family behind the door. They were all wearing smiles and I was confused beyond belief. “Surpise!”

I fainted.

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Inside Church’s dorm, Church Looked away from his 47” inch flat screen T.V. and then looked at the door as if thunder just struck outside his door. He looked at it for at least thirty whole seconds before saying

“Something terrible just happened.”

Author's Note

A/N: Yeah another chapter!......welp that’s all I have.

The Alpha: I like drinks, Energy drinks in particular.

I don’t anyway...Hey look Chrysalis!

The Alpha: Yay! Changeling! Imma pet her! *runs off*

waitwaitwait! She is in-

The Alpha: AUUUUGH!

Heat....Whoops. *slowly walks away from the scene* Hope he gets away....
Anyway.... Everypony and everybody thank The Alpha for helping me again with this chapter. He is a great guy and you check out his story. It’s pretty good!

Chapter 13: A family's conversation.

Chapter 13

A family's conversation

A/N: Okay just a heads up notice here: My family other than my mom and dad shall be called by their gamertags from my Xbox. You know privacy and what not.

I awoke to the feeling of something soft. I opened my eyes and saw the pale blue couch that was in my dorm. ‘Why am I on the co- Oooooooh.’ I thought.

“ugh...My head.” I said as I sat up. I placed a hand on my forehead and gently rubbed my temples to soothe the aching headache that followed waking up from a fainting spell.(No pun intended)

“Well look who has woken up!” I heard Lyra say. “I mean really. Your parents show up and you faint. Seriously?”

I stared at her expression before just sighing. “I don’t mind surprises. I don’t like being THAT surprised.” I got up and walked over to my fridge and pulled out a soda. “Besides...Wait, where are they anyway?”

“Oh they left to go get some take out before coming back. Nice people.” Lyra said smiling. I just sighed again and sat on my couch. Then I got a knock on my door.

“Oh for the love of-...Who is it now!?” I said getting up as fast as I sat down. I walked over to the door and opened it with enough force to nearly rip it off. “Who is there!?”

I looked to find a very confused Hank and Brony. “Um...You okay dude?” Brony asked as he saw my sleepy/frustrated expression.

“Oh you know, going to a party, getting a girlfriend, and then a surprise visit from my family does wonders for my health...” I said letting the sarcasm literally falling off in massive blobs. “You guys need something?”

“Not really. Just wondering why you fainted when you saw those people earlier.” Hank said rubbing the back of his head.

“Well. Now you know! I was going to go play a game before my family comes back. Want to join?” I asked opening the door a little wider. They looked to each other then nodded. We all walked back into the room and started up my Xbox. As we began to play I saw Luna was on and much to surprise(Not really) she was playing Mass Effect.

She asked if I wanted to join, but I declined. I was going to play some Dead Space 2 multiplayer. About halfway through my match I heard something I hadn’t heard in awhile. Classical music. Classical. To make things weirder it was coming from the other side of the hall.

“What the fu...” I said. I gave my remote to Hank and walked over to my door.

“Dude where you going?” Brony asked. I turned to him and with a somewhat serious face said.

“Seeing if the world is ending.” I opened the door and walked across to Church’s door. I knocked on the door and the music almost immediately stopped. But it just continued after a short moments. I knocked again and same thing happened. ‘He must be wearing a headset or something.... Or just have extremely loud on the volume’ I thought

I opened the door and looked inside. I saw nothing out of the ordinary, to be honest. I took a step into the room and looked around some more. I saw that the door to Church’s bedroom was slightly opened I took a few steps closer and the music got more and more loud as I got closer to the door.

I took a chance and opened the door. I saw Church sitting on the edge of his bed, cross legged and with a keyboard on his lap. He was too engrossed in his music that he didn’t notice me in the doorway. I smiled at the fact that I had the perfect opportunity to see something I probably would otherwise not see. Then my expression deadpanned. ‘That...That came out wrong.’

He finished his song with the piano and I gave his a nice loud applause. “Bravo! Encore! Beautiful work!”

Church jumped little and then looked at me with a confused and half annoyed expression
“The fuck? How did you get in here?” he asked.

“Simple locomotion! I walked, opened the door, kept walking, and then I am here!” I said with a shit eating grin. “I never thought you of all people would play the piano!”

“Well... This is the difference between being simply a product with software and being a true musician” Church said motioning toward the piano in his lap.

“Sooo....You like to play the piano as well as making techno and dubstep?” I said.

“I like to think that I walk on the fine line of being a classical musician and being a DJ.” He replied

“So you like playing the piano as well as making dubstep.” I said again.

“For your information all music does not fall into the dubstep category. Infact there are several more categories, take house music for an example.” Church replied with a matter of fact tone.

“Sooooo.....You like playing the piano as well as-” I started again.

“Okay this is getting nowhere. Yes.” Church replied annoyed.

“Alrighty then! Glad to hear it! by the way...My family is here so if you could not get a E-drink hang over again that would be swell!” I said while walking out of the room.

“What?! ARE YOU INS-” Church began, but I slammed the door before he could finish and I then walked out of his dorm.

I walked back into my dorm and sat back on the couch before taking my remote back from Hank. Then my door burst open to reveal a very flustered Church.

“Sup?” I asked while not taking my eyes of my game.

“You are not fucking keeping me from my Energy drinks.” Church replied with venomous tone.

“I never said that! I said don’t get a caffeine high and pass out before waking up and throwing up. Simple.” I replied while slaughtering the necromorphs.

“What the hell is going on here?” Hank asked.

“Long story. Anyway just no going overboard. It’s called moderation.”

“You know that moderation has long since ditched me.” Church said with a small chuckle.

“Want me to steal all of your E-drinks and sell them? Cause I will and then watch as you go through withdrawal.” I said giving him an evil eye.

Church remained quiet for a few minutes before walking over and sitting down in the chair next to me. I heard him silently cursing to himself

“Fine, I agree to you’re terms for now.” Church said as he looked at the T.V.

“All I am saying is drink as much as you want, but not all at once. Space them apart. or just nurse the one you’re drinking at the time.” I said finishing the match and starting as the necromorphs.

“Right... Uhuh, Yeah.” Church said not breaking eye contact with the T.V.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

We played a few games before my family came knocking again. I went and opened the door and helped them with the mass amount of plastic bags that they brought. We set them on the island and my mother began to unpack the bags. She pulled out a bunch of medium sized styrofoam containers.

“Um mom. Why are you putting take out on my counter?” I asked her as she just handed me one of the containers and a fork.

“Oh I just thought we would bring some dinner for you and your friends! It’s griffin cuisine.” She said with a happy tone. “It mostly tastes like if you put mexican and chinese together.”

“Well that certainly sounds interesting.” I said while looking at the container.

“DO I SMELL FOOD?!” Church yelled from my living room.

“Aaannd that is why you don’t bring food here.” I said walking back into the living room.

“Where is the food Slayer?!” Church, Brony and Hank said unison.

“It’s in the kitchen and pay and thank my mom for it!” I said as they dashed into the kitchen. I saw my brothers talking to Lyra while my dad inspected the place. He was about to go into Lyra’s room until I ran up and placed a hand on his arm. “Uh dad? You can’t go in there. That’s Lyra’s room.”

“Why would she care?” He asked with his gruff voice.

“It’s her room, her rules....” Church said as he walked by with a container of food in his hands and sat down on the couch with Brony and Hank.

“Got a point. Plus this was her dorm before I got here, so that gives her superiority on rooms.” I said with a matter o’ fact tone. My dad sighed and just went into my room instead. I sighed and went to the chair to the right of the couch.

“So..” My mother began. “You are Slayer’s friends?” She asked my friend on the couch.

“Yup!” Hank happily replied.

“Yes I am.” Brony said with a smile.

“And everyone in this room knows that I’m Slayers bestfriend!” Church said as he jerked a thumb at himself.

I facepalmed as everyone laughed. ‘Tonight is going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG night.’

“Alright then.” My mom said giggling. “So what is going on in your life so far Slayer?”

“Well...” I began as I opened my food and began to eat. “I made a few friends as you can see. I have been doing fairly well in my classes. Went on a few adventures with my friends here. OH! I got thrown into jail for a day!”

“WHAT!?” All my family bellowed. I choked on the next bite of my food as they yelled.

Church laughed his ass off right there on the spot and when he was rolling around on the floor laughing I heard him say “Great idea to say to your family when you meet them after a few months.”

I forcefully swallowed the chunk of griffin food in my throat and quickly drank the soda I grabbed earlier. “Yeah...Didn’t I tell you last time you called?” I asked her with a sheepish smile on my face.

“NO!” She yelled. I nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of my head. “Now how did that happen!?”

“Ugh....It’s a long story.” I said hoping to avoid the question.

“Well we have all night. Come on! I want to hear how my little bro got thrown in jail!” My middle brother, Rhino tusk, said.

“Now that I think about it... I have not heard the story about you getting jail time.” Church said as he had calmed down from his ‘ROFL mode’

“Ugh...This is not going to end well...Alright everyone get comfy.” I said as I began my tale of the first two days here at the school.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

“So that is what happened. It’s also why I wear my coat or a long sleeve all the time.” I said rubbing my arms. I had left out what happened after the incident to avoid the question of hanging out with Luna.

“...So you wrestled a griffin?” My oldest brother, Rasputin, said. I nodded and he got up before putting me in a headlock and giving me a noogie. “That is how you do it little bro!”

“Augh stop it!” I said flailing a little bit and blushing before he let me go.

“Huh.... But this still leaves the question... How did you meet and get together with Luna?” I heard someone say.

‘Aw fuck....Church if that was you then I am going to steal your E-drinks and drink them in front of you.’ I thought as I saw all of my families’ and friends’ eyes fall on me. I almost immediately began to sweat bullets. I politely got up before walking out of the room and into the bathroom.

“Slayer where are you goin?” I heard my dad ask.

“BATHROOM!” I said maybe a bit too loud.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Third person view)

The door to the restroom slammed shut and everyone began to look at eachother.

“So. Does anyone know what that was about?” Lyra said.

“No fu- I mean I have no idea.” Church said looking around nervously.

“Really?” Hank said glaring at Church. (Now remember. Hank is the big scary guy.)

“Jesus fuck would you stop looking at me? Its creepy as hell you know.” Church replied even more nervous.

“Not until you tell us if you know anything.” He said as he gently set his food down.

“I don’t know anything.” Church put down his food and slowly started to get up out of the chair.

“I would stay where you are boy.” Slayer’s father said joining in the glare. Church carefully sat back down and picked his food back up. “Now tell us. Do. You. Know. Anything?”

“No.” Church said with no emotion in his voice.

“Are you sure?” Slayer’s mother said also attempting to get info out of Church. “Because we would really like to know. All of us in fact.”

“Why is Brony all quiet? He might know something!” Church said pointing at Brony. Brony just sighs and goes back to eating.

“Yes, but he was not the first one to say something. Nor is he sweating enough to fill a pool.” Rasputin said.

“Thats just fucking great.... Place the blame on me...” Church muttered under his breath.

Then as if to save Church from a fate of being mauled and beaten by Slayer’s family, Slayer walked back into the room. “So what’s going on?” He asked acting a little shifty.

“Ask him why don’t you!” Church half yelled to everyone before taking a huge bite of food.

“Ask me what?” Slayer said walking over and picking up his food then taking a bite.

“About how you met this ‘Luna’.” Slayer’s mother said.

“Oooh her!” Slayer said. “She is this girl I met off Xbox live! Turned out that she is in canterlot and wanted to meet up. So I during my off days I would go and hang out with her. No big deal.”

“But I only know one pony named Luna that you might have been hanging out with.” Lyra said looking to Slayer.

“A~nd?” Slayer said giving her an evil eye. She quickly shut up and went back to eating. ‘Thank you dad for this dangerous gift.’ Slayer thought.

“Oh my god! Luna!” Church yelled as he threw a pamphlet into the air. “Luna is the pri-”

Slayer threw his fork at Church’s face before he could continue. Then he grabbed the pamphlet before anyone could see it and hid it in his seats cushion.

“Whoops dropped my fork!” He said getting up to grab another one.

“Fuck my face....” Church cursed silently rubbing a sore spot on his face. “That was fucking smooth....”

“I thought so.” Slayer said quietly before walking past Church with a new fork. “Now is that all?”

Like if Hank knew what Church was saying he continued it “Luna is the princess of th-”

“Mass Effect Multiplayer! She is amazing at that game!” Slayer interrupted.

“Fucking smoooth.....” Church said with sarcastic venom dripping of his words.

“Church I have another fork and a container of piping hot food. Want to continue talking?” Slayer said glaring at Church.

“Doesn’t Slayer mean Princess of the Night?” Brony asked.

“Fuck...” Slayer cursed while looking down.

“Wait what? Like the rulers of this place?” Rhinotusk said.

“Yeah! There are two of them! Princess Celestia and Princess Luna! Celestia raises the sun and Luna raises the moon!” Brony informed. Slayer was facepalming and was completely out of options. Brony then realized what he said and what it means what Slayer has been doing. He quietly looked at Slayer like everyone else, except Church... Who was really scared if he was going to die or not by Slayer’s hand... And he was also afraid that Slayer might reveal his little secret.

“Well?” Slayer’s father asked. Slayer sighed, but kept his face in his hands.

“Let me guess. You want the real story, right?” Slayer asked. He didn’t have to look up to know everyone was nodding. Except Church, who still was scared out of his mind. “Well alright then...It started after all that crap in the prison...”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

“And that is the story. Any questions?” Slayer finished. Everyone mouths had dropped at the story. Again Slayer avoided the fact that he was now dating the princess, but gave them all of the other details. Church had drenched the chair he was in by now, but finally relaxed. Slayer hadn’t mentioned any of his exploits with Celestia and he wasn’t hurt.

“So you’re saying that for the past three months that we have been asking what’s new and you never thought to mention..Hmm. THAT YOU’RE HANGING OUT WITH THE PRINCESS!?” Slayer’s mother yelled. Slayer quickly shushed his mother and looked to the door.

“Okay first I didn’t mention it because A) you wouldn’t have believe me unless I told you in person. And B) because somethings are best left untold.” He said. “Anyone else?”

“Sooo.... Do you like her?” Lyra asked. All eyes, yet again, were on Slayer. Except Church, who had fallen asleep from the stress without anyone noticing.

Slayer just blinked and stared back. “Well?” His mother asked.

He let out a sigh and nodded. Everyone gasped and woke up Church. “Augh fuck my head.... What have I missed?” he asked quietly.

“Well what did you expect?” Slayer said getting a little pissed/worried. “You spend time with someone you like and has the same interests as you and in the end you’re gonna have feelings for them!!”

Everyone was silent. Slayer’s father had stopped looking at him and had found the floor very interesting. His mother had not taken her eyes off him and his brothers were attempting to work everything out in their heads.

“Have you acted on these feelings?” His father said surprising everyone else in the room. The room fell silent again as they waited for the response. Church was close to falling asleep again before Slayer answered.

“Yes, I have.” There was no gaspes this time. Only awkward silence and Church, who again, managed to fall asleep.

“And how did you do it?” His father said.

“Well it was at her birthday not more than day ago and my friend, Church, here made me do it because...I actually don’t know other than to embarrass me.... And would you look at that. He’s asleep.” Slayer said looking at Church. He gave him a light tap on head.

“W-who?” Church asked no one

“Rise and shine, Church.” Slayer said looking at Church.

“What? Did I fall asleep?” He asked

“Yeah. Ya did. Anyway.” Slayer responded.

“And? what did she say?” Slayer sighed and looked his father directly in the eyes.

“She said yes.” Slayer said with a smile that could only be described as rebellious, angry, and happy.

“Not to be rude here.... But what the fuck are we talking about?” Church asked clearly confused.

“About how I told Luna my feelings.” Slayer told Church.

“Alright now we have to know. What happened exactly?” Slayer’s mother said. Who then looked at Church with everyone else in the room.

“Another rude question... Why the fuck is everyone looking at me?” Church asked again confused.

“Well you helped me out, so we are going to tell them. Alright?” Slayer more or less demanding than asking.

“Ahhhh.... Fuck. Alright.... Fine.” Church said.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Slayer and Church finished their tale of how Church helped Slayer get together with Luna. Church had left out how he had recorded Slayer singing, but included everything else. Except the ride home because that was story for another time. When Slayers parents weren’t around.

“So yeah that’s the end.” Slayer said. Then he put a hand on his chin. “Hey Church?”

“Yeah?” Church asked.

“What happened after you left?” Slayer asked

“Oh. I got a picture of horrified ponies.” Church asked.

“I thought that was before? I mean after you left me and Luna alone.” Slayer said.

“I... Got lost?” Church said hesitantly.

“Got lost...I doubt that. What really happened?” Slayer asked with an inquisitive stare.

“I hate people and their fucking stares...” Church muttered under his breath. “Oh yeah I was fiddling around with my phone.”

“That’s not all is it?” Slayer said urging him to continue.

“An~d.... I walked into the food court!”

“And somehow ended up in the hall to Luna’s game room? Which is on the other side of the castle.” Slayer said with a deadpanned expression. “Look. Just tell us! It’s not like you were stalking a random pony and stealing glances at her flank!”

Church suddenly started coughing really violently. “Actuallythatmighthavehappend” Church spurtted out quickly.

“....” Slayer just stared. “So..Uh. Which pony was it?”

“Ce... No I’m not fucking telling unless someone gives me ten bucks.” Church said.

Slayer gets up for a second and went to the kitchen before the sound of silverware was heard. “How about now?” Slayer yelled

“Oh ha-ha.” Church replied

Slayer walked in and butter knife next to Churches head. “You said no chair legs. This is a butter knife.”

“What are you going to do? stab me?” Church asked looking to Slayer and grinning.

“Nope. I am going to repeatedly smack you on the tips of your fingernails until you talk.” Slayer said with a sadistic smile.

“Fine! I bumped into Celestia and you know how she always cracks sexual jokes around me... Guess how fucking awkward it was meeting her alone in the hallway?” Church replied a bit grumpy.

“That’s it? nothing else? You made me get up and grab a knife to learn that?” Slayer said
honestly disappointed.

“Oh and she um was all up in my face, pressed me up against a door and then swayed her hips hypnotizingly when she...walked...a...wa-” Church said and almost started drooling “What were we talking about again?”

“Well now I know why you two were so chummy when we found you!” Slayer said chuckling.

“Oh and yeah I was actually lost.... I had to stalk her a bit before she found out that I was doing that..... And she um.... Cracked more sexual jokes.” Church said.

“Well that certainly explains a lot!” Slayer said. Then he began to chuckle. His gleeful chuckle soon turned into a full out laughter.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(1rst P.O.V. :Slayer)

I was too busy laughing my ass off to notice that everyone was staring at me and Church. ‘Oh Celestia! That massive tease!’ I thought.

“Oh my god that is hilarious!!” I said in between laughs.

“Oh laugh it up Slayer...” Church said.

“I think I shall!!” I said before laughing some more. I started to calm down, but didn’t stop. I grabbed my soda and took a sip in an effort to calm myself down. I somewhat worked, but I was still giggling like a dumbass.

“Would you stop laughing? It’s annoying as fuck.” Church said annoyed.

“I *snicker* I am sorry. It’s just that is so like Tia...hehehe” I said with the laughter still seeping into my voice.

“Oh... You are so fucking pushing me here....” Church said growing more impatient.

“I am sorry I just can’t help it!” I said still chuckling.

“You know what?” Church started. He picked up his phone out of his pocket with a headset. “You keep laughing and I will listen to music...” He said as he put the ear buns in his ears and started some music.

“Alright then. So is there *Snicker* anything else?” I said turning to my family and other friends.

“Did you have sex yet?” All of my brothers said in Unison.

Let’s just say I did something worse than a spit take. It was more like spit take, scream in pain as it gets in my eye, and fall backwards. “What on god’s green earth would make you ask that!?” I yelled at my bros from my spot on the floor.

“Well. It kinda seems like the question to ask.” Rasputin said. I got off the floor and corrected my chair before sitting back down.

“Well to answer. No, we have not had sex yet.” I said as calmly as I could.

“Thank god.” I heard my dad mutter. I ground my teeth for a moment, but didn’t say anything. Then I looked to my clock above the T.V. and sighed. It was fairly late, so that gave me a reason to get everyone out of my dorm. “Well guys. It’s about time for you all to go. Thanks for stopping by.”

“No problem at all! We are going to be in town for the whole week, so don’t be a stranger!” My mom said. I chuckled and nodded. I got up and opened the door for my family as they walk out. I felt my arm get grabbed by someone. I looked to my left and saw my dad glaring at me.

“Son. We are going to have a long talk tomorrow.” He said before walking out.

“Looking forward to it.” I said laying the sarcasm on thick.

“Well we better get going as well.” Brony said tapping Hank on the shoulder. He nodded and they walked out. Now it was just me, Lyra, and Church.

I sighed and went to my chair before slumping and rubbing my eyes under my glasses. “Fuck my life...” I said.

I looked over to Church and saw him sitting there quietly mouthing lyrics. ‘since when did he start listening to songs with lyrics.’ I thought to myself. ‘It might be a good idea to call Luna nad tell her what’s going on.’

I walked over to my Xbox and turned it on. I went to my friends list and sure enough Luna was on playing Borderlands 2. I sent her a Private chat request and grabbed my mic.

“Hey Luna you there?” I said a little stressed out and glum. She must of picked up on it because she sounded worried in her response.

“Yes. We are here. What is the matter Slayer? Thee sound distraught.” Luna responded. I sighed into the mic and slumped against the couch.

“Oh it’s nothing too big. Just my parents are in town.” I said. She was quiet for a little bit, but she responded.

“Well that tis nothing to be worried about.” Luna said. “In fact it should be a good thing!”

“It would be if they hadn’t pried into my personal life.” I said.

“What does thou mean?” Luna asked sounding a little worried now.

“Well I told them about what has been happening recently. Like what was going on in school, how I ended up in jail because of a fluke, and how we got together.” I said with more than just worry in my voice.

“....”

“You okay Luna?” I asked. I heard her sigh into the mic.

“May we ask how they reacted?” She finally said.

“Well I think am not sure about my mom. My bros seemed to be completely okay with it. But my dad....I am worried about the most. He wasn’t the most open minded guy back on Earth.” I said running my hands through my hair. “He said he wanted me to talk with him later tomorrow. Don’t worry though. If he wants to say what I think he wants to say I am going to stand up for you.”

“For us?” Luna asked.

“Well I am not going to budge if he asks what I think he is. I am going to defend the relationship even if he doesn’t approve. I did it once and I got smacked for it, but I still did it! Pretty much don’t worry.” I said. I heard her sigh again. ‘Hope that one was a relaxed sigh.’ I thought.

“Is that Luna in the voice chat?” Church out-of-nowhere asked.

“Um...Yeah it is. Why? You want to talk to Tia?” I asked teasingly.

“Ha... Ha... Whatever I just got a question for Luna.” Church replied.

“Alright alright come here.” I said patting the couch next to me. Church jumped over to the couch and sat down next to me. “Here!”

I pulled off the headset and held it out for Church to speak into.”Well? Speak!”

“Oh... Right, Anyways Luna. What did you think of the new T.V. I got you? Never got the chance to ask that.” Church said into the mic

“Oh yes! We love the new television!” Luna said.

“Awesome! Cause you know... I’m still feeling bad for that magnet trick.... I don’t know why, but I can’t let it go.” Church replied a little saddened.

“It tis alright! It is not like ye meant to do it on purpose.” Luna said forgivingly.

“Good to know! Now I won’t keep you from your boyfriend anymore.” Church said as he scooted away from the mic.

“Well thank you!” I said sarcastically. “Anyway. It’ll be fine. I will talk with my dad tomorrow and see what he is all about.”

“Alright! Fair thee well Slayer!” Luna said slightly dramatically.

”Yea you too Luna.” I said. She left the chat and I turned off my Xbox. “Well I am going to go get some sleep. For once.”

I got up and walked to my room. I opened my door and saw that my dad had been rummaging through everything. I sighed and fixed everything back up before flopping onto my bed into peaceful slumber.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Slayer’s dream)

I blinked as I found myself in the Ishimura from Dead Space 2. The plastic coverings everywhere and the odd writing on every wall I saw.

“Well this sucks.” I said out loud.

“Tell me about it.” Someone with a raspy voice said. I screamed like a girl and whipped around. I was soon staring at the large mangled form of a necromorph. We stared at each other for a while before he said.

“Boo, motherfucker.” In a extremely raspy voice.

I screamed again and then punched him into the wall before running away. I heard something following me closely and I was beginning to freak out.

“WORST. LUCID. DREAM. EVER!!!” I yelled into the halls.

“What makes you think this is a dream?” A voice echoed through the halls.

I ran by one of the shop stations and I touched it. It brought up the shop menu and I pressed on the free riot suit. I walked into the chamber and let the suit get put on me. After it was done I also took the Plasma cutter. I turned around just in time for the necromorph to be right in front of me.

“AAAHHH DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!” I said as I emptied the entire clip into the jerks body and then into the limbs. It fell the the ground as a limbless torso and I was huffing and puffing.

“That..*Huff huff* will show you!!*pant* fucker..”I said as I stomped on the body. Credits flew from its body and I picked them up before buying ammo for my gun.

“That twas a little overkill was it not?” I heard a girl tell me from behind. I, yet again, scream and turned around pointing my gun at who spoke. It was Luna wearing a smirk and a helmetless version of the Elite Vintage suit. I lowered the gun and sighed.

“Jesus Luna you scared the fuck out of me. Too bad you’re just part of this dream.” I said.

“Who says we are part of the dream?” She says.

“I DO!” A raspy voice from the hall screamed.

“Ah god damn it...” I said as I pointed my gun down the hall. Luna turned and her helmet folded over her head before a Pulse Rifle levitated up to her side. Soon tons of necromorphs spilled from down the halls and began to swarm us.

It kinda felt like Luna was cheating because she had a Pulse Rifle while I was stuck with a Plasma Cutter. Nonetheless we slaughtered the monsters.

“Slayer! Watch out!” I heard Luna yell and pointed behind me.

“Huh?” I said dumbly as I looked behind me. I saw a swarm of those pack necromorphs. “AAAUGH!!”
Then I felt something fall into my hands. I looked down to see a Line Gun in my hands. From under the mask I grinned evilly and pointed the laser at the group of monsters. I pulled the trigger and watched as the swarm got ripped in half from the blast. I laughed like a madman and reloaded the weapon. Then I pointed it in the other direction and shot it’s alternate fire. A large blinking orb was launched and stuck to a necromorph in the group in front of Luna. They all exploded and sent body parts all over the place.

“Oh my god this is the most fun I have had in a dream yet!” I said with glee. Since I had some breathing room I looked up and saw three small lines up there and someone waving before disappearing ‘Either so am I dreaming that there is another survivor here.... or there is someone more here with me and Luna.’ I thought

I shook my head and saw Luna’s helmet retract again. Then I felt my helmet do the same. “Well this is an interesting way to spend time together.” I said to Luna as she walked over.

“Well. We thought we should spend some time with thee before thine’s big meeting tomorrow.” She said standing on front of me. I smiled and hugged her armored form before looking around.

“If I may ask. Why the Ishimura from Dead Space? Not exactly the most romantic place.” I said chuckling. She blushed and smiled.

“Thou spoke so fondly of this place that we thought that ye would enjoy this.” She said. I smiled and laughed.

“Well you were right. I did enjoy doing this. Too bad it’s going to end soon.” I said looking around.

“Actually since this is a lucid dream. This is going to last for as long as you're asleep! So enjoy it while you can!” Luna said prepping her gun. I did the same and looked around for more enemies.

“LOOK OUT BELOW!” I heard someone yell from above us and a few seconds later a huge necromorph hit the ground with a heavy thud. “God damn it there goes my loot!” ‘that sounds like someone familiar’ I thought

“Well that is interesting. Hey Luna why are they all talking?” I asked her as the brute slowly turned around.

“Hey. It’s thous mind. I just made this a lucid dream.” She said as she aimed her rifle.

“Good point.” I said. Then the thing rushed us and we ran away screaming and shooting our guns at it.

A/N: Well that’s the end...Of the chapter! Thanks for waiting and a merry Christmas to all of y’all!

The Alpha: Oh Christmas... One fucking cold season. I hate it. But love the presents.

Oh hush you. Anyway....MERRY CHRISTMAS!! AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

The Alpha: Happy new year my ass. Going to be the same crap all over again! ONE HUGE DEJA VU! Isn’t that like Deus ex Machina? or something?

I dunno. Now Cya everyone! Say goodbye to the nice people and ponies alpha.

The Alpha: Bye! *waves* Psst. Buy me stuff.

*smack*

The Alpha: Never mind.... I’m a sad panda now.... *goes off and sits in corner*

Chrysalis go cheer up Alpha.

Okay! *Walks off to Alpha*

This is going to be interesting... And possibly creepy... I’ll just walk over there. oh and sorry. The A/N feature wasn't working. *walks off*

Chapter 14: Awkward talk, messes, and an awesome finish.

Chapter 14

Awkward talk, messes, and an awesome finish.

‘Dreams can really blow sometimes.’ I thought as I was held by my throat by the monster. Luna was currently smashed into a wall and struggling to get out.

“Now your gonna DIE!!” The monster said as it held up it’s massive claw of a hand. I shut my eyes closed for the painful awakening. I felt the wind rush by my face and then I heard something go ‘Ting!’. I opened one and saw through the blue visor that the thing was covering what would have been it’s mouth.

“Oh my god you massive ass hat!!” I yelled at the monster. It dropped me and let out a chuckle that made Santa Claus jealous. I walked up and swatted the thing on the head. “BAD DOG..Mutant...human-zombie-thing.”

It slightly whimpered as I walk over to Luna and grab her hoof before pulling her out of the wall. “How did thou do that?” She asked as she got her footing(hoofing?).

“It’s a dream remember?” I said with a grin that could not be seen do to my helmet.

“Oh har har. Thou needs to learn to-” Before she could finished everything started getting really dark.

“Um what’s going on?” I asked looking around the ever dimming world around me.

“Well it’s rather simple. Thee is waking up!” Luna said before she disappeared.

“Wha-” I didn't even get to finish because my eyes opened up as I felt something prodding my side.

I groggily rolled over and swatted it away. It just came back before poking me again. I groaned and opened on eye. It was none other than my dastardly, insidious, mint green room mate.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat Lyra.....What?” I said sleepily/frustrated. She just smirked before grabbing the blanket and tugging it off. I groan and just rolled off the bed. Literally. From the floor I could feel Lyra looking at me with confusion. “Okay I am up....What you want?”

“I just came to wake you because your dad is here.” She said plainly. That was the moment that I found the urge to put a dent in the floor with my forehead. I attempted as such, but only got a headache. I tried a few more times before getting up. I got up and grabbed some new clothes and began to change when I noticed one thing wrong.

“Do you mind?” I said to the unicorn still in my room. She shook her head no before I picked her up by the scruff of her neck and placed her outside my door.

“Hey I am not a dog!” She said with a huff. I smiled and pointed to the couch. Where Church laid sprawled out on snoring and mumbling something about this being the best couch in his sleep.

“Lyra go annoy Church while I change.” I said closing the door. “Do the cold, wet nose in the middle of the back thing...”

I sighed and began to change when I heard. “WHAT THE FUCK LYRA!?”

I smiled and finished getting changed before walking out seeing Church trying to strangle Lyra. “Save that for the bedroom guys. My dad’s here.” I said walking into the kitchen.

“Actually he is outside.” Lyra said for the brief moment that Church eased up

“Oh....Well then carry on!” I grabbed a coke before walking out the door with my trench coat on and beanie on. As I left I heard Church yell.

“Oh Lyra.... YOU ARE SO FREAKIN’ DEAD!”

I chuckled as I saw my dad waving at the stair well. I stepped next to my dad and without saying a word we walked down the stairs and into the front office. I nodded to the receptionist and we walked out to where dad had a rental car waiting.

“So....Where are we going?” I said trying to break the ice.

“To a diner. I saw one on the way here. Quiet, not many people, ponies, griffins, or even adolescent dragons.” My father said with his same gruff, emotionless voice.

“Nice. Nice. May I ask the name of this fine establishment?”

“Donut Joe’s.”

“Let me guess. He serves donuts.” I said while rolling my eyes.

“Among other things, but yes. And he make a good pot of coffee.” He said while pulling the car out of park and us onto the road.

“Look before we get there just so we don’t make a scene...What are we going to talk about?” I asked just wanting to get this over with.

“This girl you’re seeing.” He said still concentrating on the road.

“Oh god. Is this going to end up being a species difference thing?” I said expecting the worst.

“Nope.” He said. Needless to say I choked on my spit and shot up in my seat hitting my head on the ceiling.

“Wh-*cough*-at?! I thought that-*Cough Cough* was what this was about. *hack*” I said as I hacked my lungs out. My dad sighed and patted me on the back.

“Well. That was it at first, I am not going to lie to ya. But after a stern talking too from your mother and some debate, we finally rested on the fact you found someone who you actually care for. And hopefully care about you back.” He said as I finally cleared my throat.

“So this is just whether or not she is right for me?” I said with a slightly raspy voice. He nodded and I slumped into my seat. Then he looked at me with a expression of concern.

“You okay?” He asked. I nodded and sighed.

“Yeah I’m fine. I just had this massive argument planned out in my head since yesterday and well....Now it’s gone out the window and burst into flames.” I said making a throwing motion towards the car window. My dad looked off for a moment. Then he began to laughed out loud for a while before I joined him.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

We finally arrived at the diner and got out of the car. As we walked in I was surprised as we walked in when I saw that there was literally no one there, other than this one pony behind the counter. And well.....It honestly looked like a normal earth diner.

We went and sat at a booth. The mare behind the counter smiled as we sat and trotted over to us with two menus in her magic. She was, obviously, was a unicorn. She had a simple tan coat with a blonde mane while her eyes were brown.

“Hello I am Quick Note and I will be your waitress.” She said with a happy smile.

“Thanks.” I said as I took a menu from her magic grasp. My father did the same before sighing at the menu’s choices of food. Most of it being vegetarian. “Well the eggs and toast sound good. And I could use a soda right now....”

“Honestly son? I think you're addicted to those soft drinks.” He said looking at me over the menu. I chuckled and set my menu down.

“Meh....It’s better than other addictions.” I said stretching a bit. He chuckled and looked over the menu again. Quick came over to our table and pulled out a notepad.

“You two ready to order?” She said.

“Yea. I will have the eggs and toast with a Coke-Cola please.” I said handing her the menu.

“I will have the same as him only coffee instead.” My father said giving her the menu. She quickly wrote down the orders and nodded before walking off to the chef. Then my dad turned to me.

“So. Tell me about this Luna.” He said leaning forward with his curious piercing glare. I fidgeted for a moment before I sigh.

“Alright alright, but if you know me at all, you’re gonna have to be specific.” I said grinning. He shakes his head and chuckles.

“Smart ass. Alright. Tell me what she is like.” He said leaning back in his seat. I did the same and rested my hands behind my head.

“Well....She is funny. She loves to prank others. She loves videogames-” I began to list before he let out a sharp whistle.

“Loves videogames? Looks like you already have a keeper.” He said with sarcastic grin.

“Oh hush up. Anyway...” Then I prattled on for about 5 minutes until my dad held up his hand.

“Okay okay I get it. She is your dream girl. Mare. Pony. Anywho, does she feel the same about you?” He asked.

“Well...”I Scratched my head. “She tackle hugged me on her birthday and kissed me at the same time. I think that is pretty good evidence.”

My father chuckled and then the waitress came over to the table with our food. “Here you two go! Enjoy!” She said winking to my dad.

I snickered as my dad smiled back and nodded. As she left he let out a pent up sigh. “I am telling you that this world is too friendly for it’s own good.” He said as he picked up his fork and knife before beginning to eat.

“Yea, you could say that.” I said smiling. We both ate in relative silence until my dad made me choke on my food.

“So does she look nice?” He said abruptly. Needless to say I choked (No really?) on the piece of toast I was chewing on. After about five minutes of me hacking my lungs out and forcing myself to drink something, I finally calmed down enough to look at my father.

“What-*Ahem* Would compel you to say that?!” I said with a unintentional harsh tone.

He just chuckled and gave my a napkin. “Well. You talk so fondly of her, she must be quite the looker.”

I just sigh and pull out my phone. I had taken a few picture of her when she had done some stupid things. ‘Like the time she thought it would be a good idea to replace Tia’s shampoo with chocolate sauce. That was fun to watch.’

I pulled up the picture of her running away from Tia, whom had a ‘chocolate’ brown mane, and was smiling like she had just gotten the greatest gift in the world. I pulled it up and showed it to him. The picture was a little blurry, but you could make everything out.

“Well she is pretty I am not gonna lie.” He said looking over the picture. I smiled and take the phone back and got to my videos.

“You want to see how she act outside of work?” I said clicking on a certain video.

“Well sure.” He said scooting over to watch. I pulled out a set of headphones and handed him a ear bud. He looked at me weird.

“The video is a bit loud and I don’t want to cause a panic.” I said playing the video.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Camera’s P.O.V.)

“You sure this is a good idea?” Slayer said as he followed Luna into the sun goddess’s room.

“Oh quit being a big foal! This is going to be a ‘riot’. That is the correct term yes?” She asked him. Slayer chuckled while looking around.

“Yea. It’s gonna be a riot alright...What are we doing anyway?” He asked as he looked back at Luna.

“Why is thou recording this?” She said looking at Slayer.

“Mostly so I can watch this in the future and laugh while I die from 3rd degree burns.” He said at Luna who was snickering.

“Well we are going to do a few pranks. I think that Celestia will find them....Humorous.” She said with a sadistic grin as she said the last word.

“Okay okay. Well let’s get to it...” Slayer said as Luna began to pull things out of a small bag she was carrying. Luna handed him a bottle of dye and told him to put it in on her pillow. Even though you couldn’t see his face you could tell he was confused. She just giggled and told him to do it.

They continued to booby trap many things in Celestia’s room before the door slowly began to open. They both looked to the door and Slayer ducked under the bed with the camera. Luna ran to some odd corner of the room and hid. Celestia looked around and sniffed the air.

“That’s odd.” She began. “I smell chocolate and....Mints?” Her hooves shifted places and then trotted over to the bed. “What is that smell? It’s like someone forgot to shower...”

Slayer shifted uncomfortably and then the princess walked away. Slayer let out a silent sigh and looked out from under the bed. “Alright coast is clear. Time to leave.”

Slayer crawled out from under the bed and ran for the door. He reached it and opened it just as Celestia walked out of the closet she was apparently in. he hopped out the door and ran down the hall as fast as he possibly could and stopped when he reached a corner.

“That..*Pant* was a close one.” He said turning the video off.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Back to reality)

“Well that was interesting. What happened afterwards?” My father asked.

“Well I took pictures after that. The one I showed you was the one when all the pranks happened. I have more if you want to see!” I said pulling open the gallery.

I should him all the pictures of what the pranks had done to poor Tia. She had gotten Her head dyed neon pink from her pillow, her mane had chocolate in it, her regala was laced with itching powder....The list goes on and on. Some pranks that we set had happened a few days later. She got us later when she rigged Luna’s game room to splatter us with liquid rainbow when we opened the door every time for a whole week.

That was the start of the great prank war we had that lasted for three weeks before I ended up in a short coma from one of Luna’s pranks that Celestia had rigged to work on one of us. Unfortunately it was meant for a alicorn's fur and mane to swap colors and patterns. I ended up looking like I fell into a pit of coal dust with tan hair. I got so many apologies after I woke up.

“Well those are all the pictures.” I said putting my phone away.

“And the end of this discussion. I know this was awkward for you-”

“No, really? I hadn’t noticed.” I said sarcastically.

“Smart ass. Anyway I hope you have the best of luck in this. But me and your mother do want one thing.” He said pulling out his wallet and paying for the food.

“What’s that?” I asked standing up and finishing up my soda. He finished and we walked outside and got into the car.

“We would like to meet her.” He said.

‘Mind: Error 1337.
>Attempting to correct.
>>Correction unsuccessful.
>>>Going into shutdown mode.
>>>> Auto-functions enabled. ’

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

My mind finally turned back on when we arrived at the dorms. I opened the door and said my goodbyes like I was reduced to my simplest instincts. When I walked in I finally gain control over my body and thoughts again.

“Oh my god what am I going to do!!” I said a little louder than necessary. The ponies in the front office looked at me and I blushed before smiling and running up stairs. I sighed as I neared my dorm and slowly began to unlock the door.

“Today has been so stressful. I can’t wait to get inside and play my Xbox.” I said as I finished opening the door. I walked inside and hung up my coat before walking over to the couch. I began to sit down until I got a text on my phone. Reflexively I stood back up and grabbed my phone.

[Church: It was Lyra’s fault!! And don’t you dare listen to her lies!] Read the text. Almost instantly I got a text from someone else.

[Lyra: THIS WAS ALL CHURCH’S FAULT.] I was really confused before I looked up and around the room.

My eyes widened and I dropped my phone. The dorm was.....Trashed would be an understatement. EVERYTHING was broken. Well, mostly. The pictures that were on the walls were now broken and thrown across the room. The couch I was going to be sitting on had been flipped and torn apart. The kitchen had everything thrown around and for some reason there was a rubber chicken in the oven. and a exploded energy drink in the , now broken, microwave. And for some damn reason knives were stuck to the walls a little bit here and there. Not to mention clothes were everywhere.

My eyes began to twitch as I looked around. I ran over to the T.V. and saw that my Xbox was, or at least looked, okay. I went to my room and looked around. My drawers and closet were open and empty. Not to mention that there was paint all over my room’s walls. I sighed and went to the door before grabbing my coat and walking over to Church’s dorm. I started with a simple light knock on the door.

“Guys are you in there?” I asked as calmly as I could. To be honest I was in no mood for this. No response. I knocked a little harder and called again. “Guys seriously. Open the door. Look I know you’re in there because I see footprints and hoof tracks leading into this dorm from my dorm.”

“Uh..Hey Slayer.” I heard Lyra say from the other side.

“Are you gonna open up?” I said leaning against the wall.

“Noooo.... What makes you think that?” Lyra responded.

“Oh nothing. Just the fact that you guys THRASHED THE DORM!!” I yelled letting my anger get the best of me. “Lyra I swear to god if you harmed my Xbox in anyway I am going to hang you out the window by your horn!!”

“B-but...” Lyra started

“NO BUTS. JUST. OPEN. THE. FUCKING. DOOR.” I yelled through the door. Today was seriously not a good day. ' okay maybe what I said was a bit harsh, but I am stressing out and I just wanted to play a game, but no~. Those two had to go and destroy the place I live in.' I thought as I ground my teeth.

“N-No! Go find Church instead and yell at him!” Lyra yelled from the other side of the door.

I saw a small reptile that had been rather quiet over the last few days and smiled. I picked up Arrowhead and let the smile turn a bit evil. “Okay Lyra...Okay. I will leave.”

I whispered something to Arrowhead and let him slither under the door. I hear a small click and I grab the doorknob. “Oh and Lyra?”

“Y-Yeah?”

I open the door and walk inside. “You should really lock the door more often.” I looked around to see if Church was still in his dorm, but I saw only Lyra and a surprisingly clean dorm room.

“Well. Now I know what you were doing. Alright Lyra come here.” I said gesturing her over with my hand.

“A-are you going to-”

“Hurt you? No. I am going to pummel Church into the ground though. You on the other hand. Are going to owe a BIG freaking favor.” I said calmly.

“O-Owe you? How?” Lyra asked nervously and was trying to hold back tears.

“Just something in the future. Anyway where is Church?”

“H-He's I-” Lyra could not hold back the tears anymore.

‘Great. Now I feel like a complete asshole.’ I thought. I sighed and walked over to the pony. I picked her up and hugged her before wiping the tears away. “Okay look. I am angry yes, but like I said I am not going to hurt you. I just have a lot on my mind right now and seeing that mess kinda sent me over the edge.”

I placed her on Church’s couch and sat beside her. “Now I am gonna ask again. Where is Church.”

“H-He’s in the Theater.” Lyra said quietly.

“Thank you. Now I am going to go ki- I mean talk with Church and I want you to stay here, alright?” I said getting up and walking to the door. “By the way. Theater as in theater room here at the school or the theater in town?”

“S-School... I’ve notice that he usually goes there and plays the piano when he needs to calm down.” Lyra said.

“Good. Now I don’t need my knife.” I said as I walked out and down the hall. ‘I am not going to kill him. Gonna hurt’em bad. But not kill.’

After about ten minutes of walking I heard the piano and walked towards it. I found the large doors of the theater and walked inside. No one was in the room other than Church who was currently playing a very calming tune on the classical piano on stage. It somewhat relaxed me, but I was still angry. I walked over quietly and sat down close to him. I waited for him to finish before I began to clap loudly.

“Hey Slayer.” Church said calmly and casualy.
“Sup...” I said just staring at him.

“Just sitting here playing my music, how about you?” Church replied.

“Thinking of ways to maim you.” I said standing up.

“That’s cold man.”

“You wrecked my dorm. AND my room.” I said walking slowly over to him.

“Okay.... Your room? I have absolutely no freaking idea how that happened but -”

“There was spray paint all over it.” I said cutting him off. “Plus several designs that only you would put on my wall. One of which was a reaper from Mass Effect.”

“Oh yeah that's right, but anyhow I’ve got a explanation. a perfectly logical one too.” Church said calmly.

“Alright tell you what.” I said walking over and sitting next to him on the piano. “I will let you tell your little tale and if it sounds like it’s not been fabricated. I won’t hurt you.”

“Alright, If you say so.”

“But! If it sounds like you are just making it up. I am going to force you to go a month without E-drink in addition to feeling the pain I am wanting to cause.”

“Slayer, you are one cold motherfucker.” Church said.

“That is why you don’t play minecraft with me.” I said while getting comfortable. “Okay now shoot.”

“Alright, as you know it all started when you sent Lyra on me...” Church started.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(P.O.V. Church)
(Flashback)

“Oh Lyra.... YOU ARE SO FREAKIN’ DEAD!” I yelled as Slayer walked out of his and Lyra’s dorm

“Oh yeah? Think you are so tough huh?” Lyra asked poking him once in the ribs. “Tough guy.” ‘You. Are. So. Fucking. Dead.’ I thought as a reached for the nearest object, which happened to be a remote I gave Lyra a light swat on the nose with it.

“Ow! What was that for?” Lyra asked innocently

“For calling me a tough guy.” I said. I then tried to get up, but Lyra was still just sitting there, looking me in the face.

“Having troubles?” Lyra asked with a huge grin that wreaked of evil on her face.

“Yeah, no fucking shit. You are sitting on me.” I said

“Oh that’s not all that you’re having problems with.” She said with a sing-song voice.

“Oh and what would the other be then?” I said a little annoyed.

“Well... Let’s see.” She pulls out a notebook and begin to flip through it like she was reading something. “You slept here last night, but not asking before you did. You don’t do that. You can’t take a compliment, even if it was a snide sarcastic one. And last but not least, your not making jokes. If I had to guess.... It’s either a crush or a relationship problem. Probably the former.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I ask dumbfounded.

“Yep a crush.” She said with a confirming nod.

“Get the fuck off me!” I said as I tried to squirm away.

“Nope!” She said with a happy grin. “Not until you tell me what is going on!”

I looked around for a escape but only found one way out, and it was to make the couch tip over. So I put all my weight and some of Lyras on the backrest cushions. Causing the couch to lean backwards and since Lyra was too busy thinking about my problems for the moment, she too leaned back and made the whole couch tip over. And since I was holding on for most of my life, when we landed on the backside I ripped some part of the couch.

“Whoops.... That wasn’t supposed to happened.” I said loudly. Looking at the now ruined couch, well crap. “I’m going to get in so much trouble for this.”

“Yep. You’re dead.” She said.

“How the hell are we supposed to fix this?

“WE? no no no. You flipped the couch. I just wanted to help you. And possibly tease you, but that is beside the point!” She said backing up. I took off my black sweater and threw it in the face of Lyra to shut her up for a few seconds.

“Oh is that how you what it?” She said.

“What?” I asked extremely confused ‘I hope this isn’t some awkward sex joke or anything’

“You wanna fight. Let’s fight!” She get on her hind hooves and balanced before holding out her hooves as if she was a boxer. “Buck that CLOTHES FIGHT!” She got down on all four and out of nowhere clothes appeared.

“TASTE CLOTHES-Y DEATH!!” She yelled as she threw all the clothes at once.

“What the fu-” was all that escaped my mouth before a shirt flew in it and I got covered in other clothes when I sat up and pulled out the shirt from my mouth I saw that it was Slayer’s.

“You know these are Slayer’s right?” I asked as I held up his shirt.

“Oh as long as we put them back he won’t mind!” She said as she threw a few more.

“You’re on!” I yelled as I picked up a bunch of clothes and threw them at Lyra. ‘This reminds me of my childhood! But I don’t remember my childhood!’ I thought. All of a sudden I felt something rubber hit my face and then fall to the floor. When I looked down I saw a rubber chicken.

“What the fuck Lyra?” I asked a bit scared. ‘why does she keep a rubber chicken here anyways?’

She put on a pair of sunglasses and military helmet before pulling out a small cigar made of gum and chewed on the tip of the gum-cigar before saying. “This is war boy! Anything is allowed!!”

She reminds me of a Sargent. Sargent Lyra. We are all going to die. Fucking hell. This war just got serious....

I picked up the rubber chicken and went to the oven I then opened it and threw it inside and closed it. I almost turned it on before Lyra stopped me.

“NOOOOO NOT MY RUBBER CHICKEN!!” She yelled and jumped onto my back. She reached into my pocket and pulled out my emergency Redbull. She then ran to the microwave and placed it in. “Cook my chicken, I cook your Redbull.”

‘She got guts I’ll give her that.’ I though before saying, “Go ahead. Cook my Redbull I have more of them in my dorm. But I can’t see more of your rubber chicken anywhere...” I then turned on the oven on.

“Then why does this one say...’Special brew’?” She said pressing a few buttons on the microwave.

‘Wait special brew. Extra caffeine, Extra taurin, Extra sugar.... EXTRA SUGAR OH FU-’ I though with a bit of panic.

“NO WAIT!” I screamed, but it was already too late.

“Too late!” She said as she pressed the start button. A few seconds later the can exploded inside the microwave causing a power outage and the frying of circuits in the microwave. Plus the force of the blast shot the kitchen knife next to it to go into the wall behind Lyra. “Oh right. You’re NOT supposed to put metal in there things.”

“Riiight....” I said as I looked around, I saw that some of the paintings were still on the wall and I went over towards them and picked one up off the wall.

“Hey Lyra how much do these things cost?” I asked with some curiosity in my voice. ‘I have a awesome idea’

“Oh those things? Well not much. 10 or 15 bits. why?”

“FRISBEE PAINTING!” I yelled as threw the painting as a frisbee through the dorm, it crashed into the wall and flopped down on the floor half broken with a small dent in the wall made of the impact. ‘That was fucking awesome!’

“ANOTHER ONE” I yelled as I took the other painting and flung it in a random direction. This time it was heading for the window and I had no power over it ‘Well... I’m boned.’

But luckily Lyra caught it with her magic before it hit the window, it gave me a mini heart attack.
I was standing there panting loudly and looking at the window.

“Thank god for magic huh?” I asked Lyra before walking into Slayer’s room.

“What are you doing in there?” Lyra asked following me. I laid down on my stomach to see if he had anything interesting under his bed. But it was just filled with dust under his bed and a huge ass knife... No idea why he needs that, so I decided to check the closet instead which interestingly enough had spray paint stored in it.

“Hey Lyra I have an awesome idea.” I said with a evil grin on my face.

“And that is?” She asked

“Grab a can and help me” I said to her. About 30 minutes we both went out of Slayers room as we had finished spraying both graffiti, reapers, and girly stuff all over the walls.

“That was awesome.” I said as I walked by Lyra. ‘I wonder what we can do now besides clean up?’

As I now was standing in front of Lyra with my back against her looking around to see if there was anything else to do, she decided it was a good idea to wrestle. Of all the things, a pony who wanted to wrestle. WITH ME OF ALL THE PERSONS.

“Its not over yet!” Lyra yelled as she pounced me from behind as I and her tumbled around on the floor we eventually came to a stop with her on top looking down right into my eyes. I looked at her eye color and saw that it was golden.... And I also lost my self in the moment, we continued to stare at eachother for what felt like hours but in reality was just a few minutes. I saw that she had bit her lip for some reason ‘Is she coming on to me?’ I thought. I decided to risk it and ask what we were going to do now.

“So wh-” That’s how far I got before I felt a pair of soft lips meeting mine, I tried to resist the lust of deepening the kiss, but as fate has it. I’m quite the weak willed guy when it comes to dealing with women.

We continued our kiss for what I quote “Felt like hours.”, but in reality it was just a few minutes since we both had to breath. So now she was lying on top of me and I was lying on the floor. Neither one of us said anything until I heard a car pull up outside. I then looked at Lyra and just realized the mistake I made.

We both scrambled to get up and after we properly had gotten up I walked to Slayer’s dorm door when I heard.

“Oh my god what am I going to do!!” from someone in the lobby presumably Slayer. I turned to face Lyra with a extreme serious face.

“LETS NEVER EVER MENTION TO ANYONE THAT THIS EVER HAPPENED.” We both said in unison.

“AGREED.” We both said in unison again. I ran over to my dorm with Lyra following me in hot pursuit. As I got into my dorm i picked up my phone and told Lyra to lock the door after me, since I was going to the Theater to play some piano, so I could calm my nerves.

“Wait....Why don’t you play your keyboard over there?” Lyra said pointing to my keyboard in the corner.

“I mainly use that keyboard when it comes to mixing, I only use it as a normal piano when the Theater is in use. Besides It does not have the same feel as a real one, oh and its not equally as calming playing in my small room here as in the Theater.” I said

“Ah.”

“Feel free to join me sometime, but not today.” I said before walking out and closing the door to my dorm and walking towards the Theater.

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Slayer’s P.O.V)

“.....And that is when you sat there and listened to me play like a stalker.” He finished.

I blinked.

“Well, are you just going to sit there like some idiot or bum? And do not-” Church started

*PUNCH* “That is for painting my room. And you’re off the hook. For now.” I said standing up.

“Agh... Right in the Jaw, why the jaw?” Church asked no one in particular.

“It was closest to my fist.” I said holding out a hand. “Now come on. YOU and Lyra have a dorm to clean up.”

“Shit no! I have this Theater for like another...” Church said as he pulled up his phone and checked a schedule. “I have this place for another 10 minutes or about 2 - 3 piano songs. And I’m not going to waste them.”

I sighed and then looked over to the corner. Then I smiled. “Alright fine, but the question is do you want to see something cool?”

“Uh... Sure?” Church said hesitantly.

I chuckled and walked over to the corner before coming back with a black guitar and amp. “Play something.” I said as I turned on the amp and readied the guitar.

“Alright...” Church said as he went over to the piano and sat down

Then he began to play before I joined in. This little duet we had going lasted for a while before we heard someone walk in. I looked over and saw Lyra sitting in the far end of the Theater. I smiled and continued while Church had no idea of who was watching. But then again, he doesn’t really care about anything when he is playing the piano.

Soon more ponies and even a few human came to see what was going on. After about 2 or three minutes the theater was about half full with random spectators. I smiled and blotted out the random ponies and people and just focused on the sweet melody Church and me were playing.

After about 10 minutes of the same song and the occasional switching up we did we finally finished and we both nearly had a heart attack from the sudden applause that soon followed.

“Well this is a change from the usual dead quiet that usually follows.” He said looking over the crowd. They even started to shout encore. The starter of which was Lyra.

“Yeah no kiddin’. Should we give them another?” I responded looking over to him.

“Well I’m pretty sure I will get myself suspended from renting this Theater this week anyways so what the heck, lets give em another show. Oh can you sing? In front of a public?” He said as he looked into his phone.

“Unless you haven’t that recording, which I have yet to find out who sent, then yes, I can sing. In public? Not so much, but there is a first for everything.” I said holding up my guitar up again.

“Then I suggest we start with this one.” He said pointing to a song “Then we switch to a calmer one like this one.”

I looked to him and nodded. He began to play this lovely tune. As the song began I hesitantly began to sing and play along with the music.

Breathing you in when I want you out
Finding our truth in a hope of doubt
Lying inside our quiet drama

Wearing your heart like a stolen dream
Opening skies with your broken keys
No one can blind us any longer

We'll run where lights won't chase us
Hide where love can save us
I will never let you go

We'll run where lights won't chase us
Hide where love can save us
I will never let you go

Breathing you in when I want you out
Finding our truth in a hope of doubt
Lying inside our quiet drama
We'll run where lights won't chase us
Hide where love can save us
I will never let you go

We repeated this song a few times before finally finishing it and getting a swarm of cheers. I smiled and looked to Church before doing a small fist pump.

“Alright ready for the second one? And also the last one... Hehe.” Church said with a small chuckle.

“Why not? Alright shall we begin?” I said getting my guitar ready again.

“You are leading this time remember that.” Church said.

“Great put me in the spotlight.” I said beginning to strum on the guitar. I began to play a more upbeat melody. Without any hesitation this time I began to sing

There was a time I used to look into my father's eyes
In a happy home I was a king, I had a golden throne
Those days are gone, now the memories are on the wall
I hear the songs from the places where I was born

Then Church began to help with the chorus.

Up on the hill across the blue lake,
That's where I had my first heartbreak
I still remember how it all changed
My father said,
"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child
See heaven's got a plan for you
Don't you worry, don't you worry now"
Yeah!

"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child
See heaven's got a plan for you
Don't you worry, don't you worry now"
Yeah!

Then I was back on my own as we reached to next verse.

There was a time I met a girl of a different kind.
We ruled the world, I thought I'd never lose her out of sight.
We were so young, I think of her now and then
I still hear the songs reminding me of a friend

(Chorus)
Up on the hill across the blue lake,
That's where I had my first heartbreak
I still remember how it all changed
My father said,
"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child
See heaven's got a plan for you
Don't you worry, don't you worry now"
Yeah!

Oh, oh, oh!
See heaven's got a plan for you
See heaven's got a plan for you
See heaven's got a plan for you

"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child
See heaven's got a plan for you
Don't you worry, don't you worry now"
Yeah!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! (x3)
Yeah!

As we finished the song we both let in small gasps from singing for a long time. I turned to Church as the crowd was silent.

“Did we do bad?” I asked him. Church just sat there with a huge smile on his face until I slowly heard claps coming from the back rows then slowly infecting the middle ones until all of the crowd was roaring and applauding. I looked over to reach, but now with a equally large grin.

“I guess that answers that.” I said before breaking out into a triumphal laugh. I walked over and pulled Church onto his feet. “Well? It’s tradition to take a bow isn’t it?”

“Hell yes!” Church said with a chuckle and bowed. I mimicked his reaction before hopping off the stage and walking out of the Theater with Church.

“Well that escalated quickly.” I said sighing happily. “By the way I am gonna need to crash on your couch tonight.”

“It’s no problem man, If Lyra needs a place too she can take my bed I can just check in on a hotel.” Church said with a small smile.

“Oh blah. I can take the floor if it comes down to that. I have gone camping before and I slept on a boulder. Can’t be much different.” I said smirking before breaking into laughter. Church soon joined in on the laughter since it was really infectious. Much like yawning.

“Oh well...I am going to grab my Black Ops 2 copy and then wanna kill some zombies?”

“Sure! I just have to go and say to the renters that I pulled some overtime this week won’t take too long, but here take the key to my dorm.” Church said as he handed over the key and went the other way.

“Sweet. Anyway meet you there.” I said before walking to the stairwell.

‘Today wasn’t that bad actually.’ I thought.

Author's Note

A/N: Over 7K words and another chapter! yay! New episode is gonna rock!

The Alpha: Not to mention that this chapter rocked!

Absolutely. Anyway Alpha shall I tell them or you?

The Alpha: Well you see, this new epi-

NOT THAT. The other thing. You know starts with a Q and ends with a A.

The Alpha: Oh yeah, The Q/A Chapter that’s coming up. Just ask your questions on Slayers blog and we will answer them in the next chapter.

Separate chapter actually, but still! He is right. I will be posting a blog soon with a follow up chapter where Me and Alpha will answer some questions! They can be to the characters themselves or just about the story in general. Just please....Nothing TOO dirty. Yeah I am looking at you perverts out there. You’re all thinking about it. Anywho....Alpha take it away! *Throws a top hat and cane to Alpha*

The Alpha: *Catches top hat and cane and immediately starts step dancing*

There you go. Anyway. CYA! okay Alpha stop dancing.....Seriously.....

The Alpha: *Keeps dancing and waves goodbye*

THAT ALPHA EVERYBODY! *ba dum tish* Goodnight people and ponies everywhere!

The Alpha: Or it might be morning..... or noon.

What he said! Cya!

Chapter 16: A question answered and dandy welcome home.

Chapter 16

A question answered and dandy welcome home.

I woke up to the feeling much like a hangover only without the wretched headache that soon follows after waking up. In short? I felt like crap. I got up and looked around and found that I was on the couch in my dorm. I got up and stretched my limbs before I saw my scaly friend, Arrowhead.

I smiled and held out my hand, which he slithered up making me chuckle a bit at the strange feeling. He ended up resting on my shoulder while I was leaning back.

“What am I gonna do Arrowhead?” I asked the snake. The little bugger just stuck his tongue out at me and laid his head back down. “Yeah, yeah. I have heard that from everyone.”

‘I am talking to my pet snake.....I really am crazy.’ I thought as I sighed. I looked around my dorm in an attempt to figure out what to do. As I was browsing my dorm, I noticed a note lying on the table.

I picked it off the table and lazily brought it up to my face.

Dear Slayer,

We have gone with Lyra to go to the grocery store, so we can make dinner and help get your mind off what is going on. Please stay in the dorm until we get home.

P.S. If thou leaves we will hunt thee down. It will not be pleasant.

I shook my head and sighed. Since I couldn’t do much I decided to grab my Xbox controller and began to play some HALO 4 while I waited. I wasn’t in the mood for really doing anything, but I didn’t want to go back to sleep, so as I started the game up, I put my headphones in and began to play some songs.

I was busy listening to Savior by Rise Against and was singing along with it when the next match started. As the song got to the instrumental part I was slaughtering everyone on HALO. ‘Videogames....They let you forget the world.’ I thought as I assassinated someone.

I finished the match with the highest amount of kills and least deaths. I smiled at my work then frowned again. I wasn’t feeling so good and just wanted the day to end. I put my controller on the coffee table and turned off the xbox. I got up and walked into my room before looking around.

“What to do...What to do...” I mumbled as I walked around. I looked around my room before I walked into the kitchen. When I was going to open the fridge I felt my pocket vibrate. It was my phone with a text message

I whipped it out and checked from who it was. It was Church.

His message read:
[Hey man! I’m bored out of my skull here. Even though I’m not supposed to be moving outside the restraints.... Ha. I figured out how to get out but I’m staying. Oh I also got a new laptop. Nice huh :)?]

I smiled and began to text back:

[I know. I saw it when I was in the room. How you doing by the way?] I hit send and soon got a reply.

[Oh, I’m pretty sure I’m doped up on painkillers. And my room is pretty bland too. But enough about me. How you feeling?] I sighed and began to text back.

[To be honest? Shit. I feel like shit. :( ] I grabbed my drink from the fridge and sat back down o the couch. I soon got a reply again.

[Oh man that sucks, feel like telling me why? You know I’m here for ya... Or well as long as the doctor don’t come and do a midnight check...] I smiled again and began to text back.

[I just feel like a complete douche for what I did. Don’t get mad at me, but I went back into your dorm to figure out why you had cleats on the table anyway. Sorry about your friend.]

No sooner than two minutes after I sent him that message I got a reply.

[Ah.... Michael, I feel bad for him.... And it was the least I could give him. A new pair of cleats :/ Since its pretty hard to replace his brother and what they had together. :( I hope he’s in a better place now.]

I soon texted back and opened my drink before taking a drink from it.

[Yeah.... If you see him give him my condolences. How is Tia doing?]

This took Church some time to answer on. I was not sure why.

[Yeah she’s fine.... Or more than fine. She loves me so damn much :) Thanks by the way. Oh and if you wonder why it took so long to reply, it was because the doctor DID do a midnight check.] I chuckled and replied.

[Hey...I wish I could be there to say this in person, but Luna threatened to hunt me if I left my dorm, so here goes. I quite honestly feel like the biggest jack off in existence right now for what I did and I just want to say I am sorry. Like really sorry.]

[Sorry for what? It was a accident man, and those things happen. So don’t you worry about it and do a favor and stop beating yourself up for it. I don’t like it when my friends do that.] I smiled and laughed a little bit, for reasons I don’t entirely understand, before texting back.

[Thanks, but still I am sorry. I am going to do something to make up for it, so no arguing about that. By the way I will be there tomorrow to tell the docs to take the restraints off and leave you be. ;) ] A few moments later i got a quick response.

[Okay.... Who are you? And how did you get your filthy hands on Slayer’s phone? Hahaha. No but seriously that would be appreciated. Oh and like I said, there is no need to be sorry. ;) ] I laughed out loud and smiled. I chuckled while I texted back.

[Too. Damn. Bad. I do what I want!]

[Fine be that way :P …. Sooo how’s Luna doing?] I chuckled a bit.

[She is doing fine. Although she seems a bit more worried than normal.] Just a second after I sent that to Church I got a reply.

[Had sex yet?] I nearly choked on my drink as I was taking a sip.

[NO!! And if I did why would I tell you!?]

[Because I heard Luna moaning your name when you borrowed my bed? >.> ] I blinked and reread the message a few times. I texted back what I was thinking.

[......Wut. O.O]

[Yeah.... So you didn’t? Good.... Was afraid I had to burn my bed after that night. Anyhow, It started about half an hour after you and Luna went to bed... I just hear “Slayer” with some moans... Through my headset.] I spewed what I was drinking all over the table and possibly the T.V. .... Pretty good distance through my nose. I was completely confused at this point. I wasn’t sad or happy right now. Just confused.

[Wut.....Just wut....HOW DID I NOT WAKE UP!?!?!?!??!?]

[You sleep like a rock sometimes.... I mean have you checked your right arm? I swear if you have not noticed what I drew there up until this message....] I blinked and check both my arms until I saw a small robot vomiting nails. I responded.

[Da fuq? When did that get there?]

[Seriously? …. Slayer, I’m disappointed.... How could you not notice my beautiful master art?? Oh and to answer your question, I drew that before I woke you up with teh wubz. :) ] I finally snickered and smiled.

[No homo, but it’s ronery here without your crazy antics.]

[ I <3 U too Slayer... Shit, phone battery is low. And I suppose I don’t have my charger around here? Oh well talk to you later, btw bring my charger tomorrow.] I laughed at what he sent and then a song on my MP3 came on and I smiled even larger.

[I will... Before you go I am going to send you a link to something I think you will like on your laptop.] I responded before going and grabbing my laptop. I brought up google chrome and went to my G-mail. after a few minutes of dragging files I was finally done and hit sent along with message. “I think you will like this...”

It was a simple song that me, Luna, and Lyra had done while being bored. It was Luna singing while me and Lyra played on the instruments. That was also the time that Luna and Lyra had decided to show up. As they walked in I heard Luna saying something.

“...Alright so it’s clear? We will carry the rope and you the net?” Luna said as she walked in levitating several plastic bags next to her. She walked straight into the kitchen before walking out and seeing me on the couch. “Oh....Thou didn’t leave?”

“And risk your wrath? Not in these pants.” I said chuckling. She just shook her head and looked to the door.

“Never mind Lyra. We need not hunt him down.” Luna said as Lyra walked into the room carrying a rather large box.

“Aw...And I wanted to do a man hunt so bad.” Lyra said setting the box down and smiling. ‘I don’t know if she is kidding or not.’ I thought with a little fear.

“So...What’s with the box?” I asked trying to make conversation. Lyra and Luna looked to each other before smiling and levitating the box into my lap.

“Thou was feeling down so we thought we might try and elevate that with this.” Luna said happily. I tilted my head and shook my head.

“You girls didn’t need to do that.” I said trying to take the gift off my lap. Lyra walked over and pressed it back into my lap before glaring at me.

“You are going to open this thing up and, you are going to enjoy it! Got it?” She said getting in my face. I gulped and nodded. ‘When did she get so scary?’

She smiled and hopped off before sitting on my right while Luna sat on my left. “Well? What art thou waiting for? Open it!” Luna said clapping her hooves together.

I shook my head and began to open the box. After getting the tape off and opening the box up, I was...Well, surprised was a major understatement. They had decided to get me my own guitar instead of me always borrowing one. It was a simple gun metal grey guitar with a nice black pickguard.

“Girls.....You really didn’t have to do this.” I said a little awed by the whole thing. Lyra nudged me and turned to Luna.

“Told you he would like it.” Lyra stated. Luna shook her head and giggled. “Well what are you waiting for! Play something!” I picked up the guitar and put it into position.

But before could play anything I felt my pocket vibrate again. ‘Pickblocked!’

[Uh yeah I don’t have much battery left like 2% just enough for like two - five texts.... anyhow can you try to... Oh I don’t know smuggle in some energy drinks? I’M HAVING ABSTINENCE HERE!] I laughed and turned to Luna.

“This was most of my day.” I said showing her the text. I responded:

[Yea sure. Nos, Monster, What you want?]

[Get me Monster, I noticed that they give the greatest Kick, but you crash and burn when it comes to long term.]

[Alright I will. Now get some rest.]

[Alright! Cya today.... I realized I said tomorrow in an earlier text.... Oh well :D Mistakes happen.]

I shook my head and check the time. “Holy shit it’s past twelve. Damn how long was I out?”

“About 6 hours.” Lyra said with a nod before getting up and going to the kitchen.

“Right....” I said leaning back and face-palming. Luna leaned against me and nudged me with a hoof.

“So other than texting with Church how was your day?” Luna asked.

“Boring.....Heart wrenching, soul crushing, brain melting, boring.” I said rubbing my head. Luna giggled and gave me a playful swat with her hoof.

“Oh it wasn’t that bad.” Luna responded.

“It was!” I protested. Lyra had decided that she should break this up before it could escalate.

“Alright you two. Are you gonna cook dinner or what?” Lyra yelled from the kitchen. Luna was about to get up, but I stopped her.

“Nooo. You got the groceries. I cook.” I said getting up. Luna huffed and glared at me.

“Well what if we want to cook?” Luna asked with a adorable pout.

“Then I will pick you up and lock you in my room until dinner is ready.” I said going to the kitchen.

“We have magic you know!” Luna yelled. I waved a hand at her dismissively and began to unpack everything. Lyra was beginning to help, but I picked her up by the scruff again and put her next to Luna before going back to the kitchen. They had gotten a bunch of generic stuff like butter, eggs, etc. I put my knowledge of what I could make then my eyes fell upon something that was always delicious to make and eat.

“Hey have either of you ever had tomato soup and grilled cheese?” I asked poking my head out the kitchen. They looked to each other and shook their heads and my jaw dropped. “Okay then this has to be done.”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

After a about 20 minutes of constant attempt of help from Lyra and Luna, fumbling around to find things, and finally all the cooking, I was done with the food. It was a simple meal. Nothing fancy, but it was certainly healthier than eating all this fast food. It was just a simple pot of heated tomato soup and a large plate of freshly grilled cheese sandwiches.

“Alright you two I am done!” I yelled grabbed a few plates and bowls.

They walked in to see what I made. I smiled as I grabbed a couple sandwiches and got myself a bowl of soup along with a spoon. I served Luna and Lyra as well before going to the Living room and sitting down.

I began to immerse myself into the meal and was immediately hit with the feeling of nostalgia. I sighed at the pleasant set of memories that came flooding back with the flavor of the meal. While I was having a pleasant time reminiscing, Luna and Lyra were testing the food one bite or sip at a time.

I looked at them and smiled. “Am I a bad cook or something?” I said jokingly.

Lyra blushed a bit and Luna giggled. “No thou art a great cook, but we art confused on how to eat this.”

“Your kidding... Right?” I said looking to Luna and Lyra. They both blushed and I laughed. “It doesn’t matter how you eat it! Just enjoy it.”

With that little piece of advice Lyra tore into her food like a wild animal while Luna just took larger bites of her food. After watching Lyra eat like that for a few moments, I continued to enjoy my meal. When we were finished, I took the dishes and Lyra went to the Bathroom to get cleaned up. She had apparently thought sticking her muzzle into her bowl and slurping was a good way to eat soup. Needless to say she got it all over her face somehow. I mean all over her face. The stuff was on the back of her head for some reason.

“How did you even do that Lyra?!” I yelled to her.

“I don’t know! Stop asking!” She retorted. I laughed and washed the dishes off before walking back into the room and settling down back on the couch.

“So what do you guys want to do?” I said as Lyra came back in with a less messy face.

“Well.... We could just watch a movie.” Lyra said. I smiled and nodded.

“Alright then what movie?” I asked. Luna grinned and went over to my shelf of games and movies before pulling out a triple set of DVDs.

“You want to watch Paranormal Activity?” I asked. She nodded then added.

“The whole trilogy.”

“Really? I mean those things are freaky.” I said more worried about her and Lyra than myself. Seeing all the movies 20 times before really helps keep yourself in check. Luna just nodded and I sighed. “Alright put’em in the Xbox.”

She let out a small squee and put the first one in before going a jump/glide to the couch and sat down before laying against me. ‘Get ready to have the air forcefully leave my lungs.’

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

After that movie was over Luna was clutching my arm and had buried her face into my back.

“I-i-is i-it o-over?” Luna said barely withdrawing herself to look at the T.V. Lyra wasn’t faring any better because she had somehow gotten her front-half into the couch cushions while the rest of her was curled up outside..

“Yes girls it’s over.” I said yawning a bit. “Want me to put the next one in?”

Luna looked unsure before slowly nodding and not letting go. I tried to get up but Luna was holding me down with a death grip. ‘Heh heh puns.’

“Um Luna I have to get up to-” Before I could finish she just used her magic to quickly eject the disc and replace it with the 2nd movie. “Or you could do that.”

I grabbed Lyra’s tail and gently pulled her from the couch and held her in the air. “We are watching the next movie now Lyra.”

“NO!! I don’t want to!!!” Lyra said flailing a bit. I just sighed and put her down on the couch.

“It’s not that bad.” I said pressing play on the movie.

“How do you watch these without flinching?!” She yelled at me. I smirked and leaned back while hugging Luna.

“Years of practice.” I said as the movie began. The opening scene had already made Lyra try to dig back into the couch, but I stopped her by grabbing her neck scruff and making her watch the film. “Just watch. It’s worse to not know what’s happening.”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

After the movie I think Lyra had had twenty heart attacks and Luna was glued to my back . It must have been quite the sight. The night goddess cowering behind a human on the couch with a another pony with her hoof pressed against her chest and a face like she was about to die.

“Um guys.... Movie’s over.” I said plainly. Lyra just fell off the couch and passed out while I felt Luna shivering. “Huh..... Glad I didn’t show you Chernobyl diaries.”

I pulled Luna from my backside, which she promptly went back to after I removed her, and picked up Lyra from the floor. I tried to get up, but failed miserably as Luna was holding me down again.

“Well I guess we aren’t watching the third movie.” I said about to get up. Instead of feeling a nod, the Xbox opened up again and the next disc was placed in the Xbox. “Damn girl, you are just torturing yourself.”

Luna just pried herself from me and looked up. “J-j-j-just th-th-this l-l-las-s-st m-m-o-ov-vie-e.” She managed to say. I just shook my head and sighed.

“You are killing Lyra and making yourself have a horrible stutter. I think we should stop.” I said grabbing the Xbox remote. She took and threw my remote across the room before pressing against me more.

“W-w-we ar-r-e f-f-fin-n-sh-shing-g th-th-thi-ss-s-s.” Luna said with determination. I shook my head.

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

By the end of the movie ended Luna was stuck in a permanent. “I AM SO FUCKING TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW!!” face. I was actually able to slip out of her grasp before getting up and splashing both of Lyra and Luna with some ice cold water.

Thankfully I had turned the lights back on, So when they ‘woke up’ they didn’t run into anything.

“IT’S GOING TO GET MEEE!!!” Lyra yelled before ramming into me and making me step back to balance myself. Luna was barely even moving, but she was definitely snapped out of her trance.

“We may need shome helph here.” Luna said as her face was stuck in perma-terrified mode. I chuckled and took Lyra off my body and placed her by Luna before going to the kitchen and grabbing some muscle-relaxing cream.

I walked back into the living room and helped Luna with her problem. After I was done putting the muscle relaxant on her face, I went to the fridge to get myself a drink while Lyra was constantly looking around the room for anything that might possibly get her. I looked at my watch and found that we had stayed up till 6:48 watching scary movies.

“Well girls I am going to get some sleep, so I don’t pass out while I go to visit Church.” I said walking to my room sipping on my drink.

“Nononononono. Don’t leave us here!” Lyra said panicking.

“Lyra... It’s a movie. It can’t get you.” I said opening up my room. “Just think happy thoughts and it will go away.”

“b-but.” She tried to say.

“No buts. Just go to sleep.” I said walking and closing the door.

I walked over to my bed and flopped onto it and almost immediately began to fall asleep. Right as I was about to go to sleep I felt someone crawl in next to me. I opened one up and saw that Luna’s face was fixed and she was laying by me. I smiled and kissed her on the nose before laying my head back down. It turns out Luna falls asleep pretty quickly and I suck at falling asleep when I am awake for too long. I sighed and was finally about to sleep when something else had snuck into my bed.

I almost freaked out until I looked and saw none other than Lyra was crawling into my bed shaking like a leaf. I inwardly sighed and let her lay down on the other side of me before I finally was able to fall asleep.

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

I woke up and yawned loudly before sitting up in my bed. I stretched and looked down to see Lyra on my left and Luna on my right. I smiled and slowly got out of bed, trying not to wake up anyone. I grabbed some clothes before walking out of the room and into the bathroom.

After a quick shower and getting dressed in my normal attire of a single color shirt and jeans, I walked back into the room and saw the most adorable sight I never thought was even possible.

Somehow while I was in the shower Lyra had moved over to Luna and Luna had grabbed her and rested her head on her, effectively spooning the small unicorn. Both were smiling warmly and I could not pass this up. I quietly pulled out my phone and took a picture of the sight before walking out and grabbing Church’s dorm key to grab his things.

“Alright.... Charger and E-drinks.” I said as I walked out and over to Church’s dorm. I unlocked the door and walking in.

And then there was the familiar vibration of my phone. I checked my phone and saw again it was Church

[I hope you are awake.... ‘Cause this is the last message I’m getting out before my phone dies :I Anyhow, mind grabbing my headset? I just realized that I can listen to music on my new laptop.... Ain’t I the smartest? :D ]

I chuckled and looked around for Church’s stuff. I grabbed his charger on the wall, a few E-drinks from his fridge and finally his headset from his overly pimped out computer. Walking out I locked up his dorm again and walked into mine where I saw Luna and Lyra stepping out of my room blushing like crazy.

“Well if it ain’t misses big spoon and little spoon.” I said with a large shit-eating grin. Luna and Lyra groaned in complete embarrassment while I laughed and grabbed my laptop and computer bag. Slipping my laptop into it’s main compartment, I put everything else into the other pockets. After grabbing everything and putting on my coat, I opened the door and looked to the girls. “Well you two coming or what?”

They looked to each other before running out the door. Luna put on her hoodie and disguise on while yelling “We will beat you there!”

I blinked before closing the door and locking it. Then I bolted down the hallway after them. “GET BACK HERE YOU GUYS!!” I yelled at them. All the while they were giggling like the little fillies they were acting like. “I WILL CATCH YOU TWO!!”

We ran for about five minutes until we managed to get outside and I finally caught the girls....Well one of them. I practically football tackled Luna when I finally caught up to her.

“See? *pant* I said....I would catch...You.” I said while huffing a bit. She just giggled and kissed me.

“Yes, yes thou did. Now shall we go visit our friend now?” Luna said. I just smiled and nodded. I got off her and helped her up before we walked over to the street and called for another taxi....Or carriage. After paying the driver, he took us to the hospital and then drove off.

“Welp....We need to grab another taxi afterwards, kay?” I asked Lyra and Luna. They nodded and we all walked into the hospital.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

“God why are hospitals creepy?” I asked as we walked down the halls to Church’s room. Luna just giggled and nudged me.

“Art thou scared of hospitals?” Luna asked with a devious grin.

“Of course not. But media and movies have permanently made them a place that psychotic people love to go to.” I replied.

She just giggled even more and we finally arrived at Church’s door. I knocked gently and waited for a response.

“I FUCKING LOVE COLORING!” I heard Church yell from the inside the room. “Oh and uh.... Come in?”

Instead of just walking in, I fell through the doorway laughing after opening the door. Luna was laughing too, just not as bad and Lyra was merely chuckling. After I calmed down a bit I got up and sat down in one of the chairs in the room.

“May I ask why you yelled something out that shouldn’t be said unless you are in the third grade?” I said still chuckling. Church who was more engrossed in coloring did not notice that I asked him something and was furiously scribbling away on a paper with blue crayon.

“Huh? You said something?” Church asked, not taking his eyes of the paper.

I shook my head and reached into my computer bag before pulling out a Monster. Then I walked up to Church’s bed and pulled the tab releasing the pressurized mist in the drink.

“Eh... Do I smell energy drink?” Church said finally looking up from the paper. I put the E-drink on his table and sat back into my chair before pulling out the rest of his stuff.

“I brought all that crap you need by the way.” I said piling thing up in the seat next to me. While I was pulling things out of my computer bag, Luna had come over and taken a seat next to me while Lyra was sitting in a chair that was in the corner.

“Oh! Can you connect the-” Church started before taking a chug of his energy drink “-Charger to the wall over there? I’m still stuck here with my legs like this.”

“Alright alright.” I got up and plugged in the charger before hooking his phone up to it. I went back to my seat and pulled out his headset. “I bought these by the way.”

“Ohh! nice.... I’ve been drinking orange juice all day.... Good stuff, but holy crap it tastes bad after a while...” Church said “Oh and uh, just gimmie the headset I can hook it up myself.”

I gave him the headset before sitting back down again. “What have you been doing this entire time?” I asked.

“Uh.... Coloring, obviously. Writing some lyrics... They should be in that pile of random drawings by the way.... No wait, they are here...” Church said as he grabbed a paper that was lying besides his new laptop. “And uh... Drinking juice? Being bored? Texting you!”

“Ah yes... Your messages.” I said remembering the jumble of texts that Church had sent. “So in short you have been nothing, but bored as hell?”

“Hey! For your information, coloring is extremely fun!” Church said as he connected his headset to his new laptop.

“Ah. Well you won’t have to worry about your restraints anymore, but the doctors are still going to check on you every once in awhile.” I said leaning back into my chair.

“Oh great... No masturbating for me.” Church said with a sigh. “So how have Slayer been?” he asked

“I have been fine. Although I do have something to show you.” I said getting up and taking out my phone. “Want to see something adorable?”

“Sure, have nothing better to do.” Church said and looking at me. I grinned and pulled up my photos before pulling up the photo I took of Luna and Lyra earlier today.

“Here you go.” I said handing him the phone. Church took a few seconds to inspect it before laughing out loud. Luna and Lyra just looked at each other before back to Me and Church.

“Oh my god, where did you get it? and how?” he said wiping a stray tear from his right eye.

“Right after I got out of the shower. They were just lying there.” I said letting a chuckle escape me.

Church chuckled a bit with me until his mood went from laughing to serious. He grabbed me by the shoulder and asked.

“Okay seriously, how the fuck are you feeling? You look like shit.” Church said. I just pulled myself back up and sighed.

“I already told you that.” I said going back to my chair. “I said I felt sorry about what I did.”

“And I told you there is nothing to be sorry about... There is something else on your mind right now.” Church said as he was looking at me.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. “Alright...Aright alright. Look I wasn’t completely honest when I said that I went to find out why you had cleats on your table.... I might have looked around a bit more than I should have.”

“Oh you didn’t find any W.I.P Songs did you?” Church said looking at me with a small grin.

“What? No. I found that note behind your picture.” I said a little confused. The small grin that was on Church face faded quickly and was replaced by a frown. He was quiet for a few minutes before speaking up.

“Those are private, you know.” Church said with a voice filled with emotion.

“Yeah kinda figured that one out.” I said rubbing the back of my head. “....Wanna talk about it?”

Church looked down for a while before I saw something drip from his face. He quickly put his hands on his face.

“No... I’m fine...” Church said with a wavering voice.

“Well then...I have to say that that is too damn bad.” I said with a small grin. “Now come on... It’s not good to bottle these things up. It just makes things worse.”

“I’m fine.... Like I’ve always been...” Church said leaning a little bit forward. “Like I’ve always been...” He repeated.

Me and Luna looked at each other before we both nodded. “Then I guess I have to call in the big guns. Someone who will get you to talk.”

I pulled out my phone and pressed a few buttons before the phone began to dial. The phone rang on for a couple more minutes.

“Sorry this call is taking a bit longer than intended.” I said to Church who just sat there with his hands on his face. Finally the phone was picked up.

“Hi... Yeah, it’s me..... Just wanted to call in a favor.” I said into the phone. “No not for that time..... Or that one. Look can you please come down here?.... Thanks.” I finally hung up and put the phone back into my pocket. “Yeah she will be here in a few moments.”

“May we ask what this note was?” Luna whispered in my ear. I turned to her and frowned.

“Uh... Well let’s just say it was something that was really tear jerking. It was why I broke down in the his living room.” I whispered back. She nodded before a bright flash and a resounding crack may me jump up and faceplant on the tile. “SON OF A BITCH!! Damn it Tia!”

The sun princess just smiled sheepishly and walked over to Church. “Augh...My head.” I said as I got back up and sat down.

“Alright Church. Slayer told me there was a problem and you're not letting him help.” Tia said as she sat down next to Church.

“No no... I’m fine... just fine...” Church said barely more than a whisper.

“Church... Just tell us.” Tia said while placing a hoof on Church’s shoulder.

“Why? Why did she have to leave?” Church said leaning his head against the table. “I never wanted any of that... I never saw her. I... I..”

“Yeah....Knew that she could help.” I said as I smiled.

“I just want my mother back...” Church said as he leaned back against his pillow. “I just want her back...” At this point Church had broken down and was on the verge of crying.

Tia just nodded to his words and pulled him into a small hug to try and comfort him. “Just let it out Church. Just let it out.” She gently whispered.

Church then grabbed Celestia and hugged her. “I promised myself.... To never... Cry again... At least for her....”

Tia only smiled gently and hugged him a bit tighter. “As Slayer says: Too damn bad.” She said while I let out a small chuckle.

“Church.... Don’t you think that she would want you to get this over with than fret over it for the rest of your life?” I said from my spot on the chair. “And besides... If crying helps you get over it. Then just do it.”

“Its... So damn hard...” Church started “Everywhere I go... I see happy families... I see Mother’s hugging her boys and girls.... I got bullied at school for not having a mother...” Church said. “I never wanted any of this...”

I just hung my head and tried my best not to let it get to me. ‘I swear I am gonna die of dehydration if this keeps up......’ I thought.

“All the time.... I just wanted to wake up to get a hug from my mother.... All the time... When I get home I wanted a smile from her.... All the damn time... I just… I ju...” Church exhaled deeply before saying. “I just wanted to say I love you.”

“Yeah, I swear you’re trying to kill me with tears.” I mumbled wiping away a few stray tears that had escaped.

“I’m sorry.... I’m sorry...” Church mumbled. “I wish she was here... I want to tell her about my day... What I’ve done... Tell her stories about you and me.... Tell her I’ve got a marefriend....”

Tia was already crying, but doing her best not to sniff or give any hint that she was crying. Luna wasn’t faring any better. I, on the other hand, was on the verge of bawling.... Again.

“Did I ever tell you about my brother?” Church sniffled.

“No...” I almost hesitantly said.

“He died before I came to equestria.... His name was Joel... I was reckless and decided to play in the road... Thats when a tanker came around the corner and the stupid kid I was didn’t notice.... Guess what Joel did.... The bastard pushed me off the road and got hit himself....” Church choked on the last word. “.... H-He did not make it...”

‘Am I crying?...’ I felt my cheeks and sure enough I was crying. ‘Yeah...I am crying.’ “Jesus dude....And this is what you have been carrying around with you all this time?” I said wiping the tears away with my sleeve.

Church started slowly humming a tune, before he started to sing.
How can I repay you brother of mine?
How can I expect you to forgive?
Clinging to the past I shed our blood,
and shattered your chance to live

Though I knew the laws I paid no heed.
How can I return your wasted breath?
What I did not know has cost you dear
For there is no cure for death.

Beautiful Mother soft and sweet,
Once you were gone we were not complete.
Back through the years we've reached for you
Alas t'was not meant to be.

And how can I make amends?
For all that I took from you.
I lead you with hopeless dreams.
My brother I was a fool.

Don't cry for the past now brother mine.
Neither you nor I are free from blame.
Nothing can erase the things we did,
For the path we took was the same.

Beautiful Mother soft and sweet,
Once you were gone we were not complete.
Back through the years we've reached for you
Alas t'was not meant to be.

My dreams made me blind and mute.
I longed to return to the time.
I followed without a word.
My brother, the fault is mine.

So where do we go from here?
And how to forget and forgive?
Whats gone is forever lost.
Now All we can do is live.

When he finished Tia was bawling now. Luna was too. I looked to Lyra and she was....Sleeping. So yeah I grabbed Luna and hugged her while she cried and I wasn’t even trying at this point to stop my tears, but I tried not to make a sound.

Church just sat there quietly and looked out the window. I wiped my tears away and walked up to Church and sat down next to him.

“Do you at least feel better for getting that off your chest?” I asked.

“Little.” Church said with a sad sigh.

“And you didn’t cry once....” I said facepalming. “You do know you would feel better if you did cry right?”

Church sighed and looked at me. He then pointed to his left bandaged eye, which happened to soaked right through.

“Ah.......” I said facepalming for my own stupidity. “Well I do have some good news, but it can wait until we have calmed down a bit.”

Church sighed and took a paper and started drawing. After a while he switched his pen out for a crayon, he then stopped and picked up the paper and inspected it a little.

“whatcha drawing?” I asked as I clear the rest of my tears away before tossing the tissues over to Luna.

“My brother and I used to draw this in alleys...” He handed me the paper and on it was a text in grafitti style.

“It’s very good. Must have been quite the artist.” I said as I looked the picture over. “All though I have no idea what it says...”

“Razor1911... I-It was Joel’s gamertag...” Church said hesitantly.

“Ah.... Well. Um..How about that good news?” I said with a smile hoping to get his mind out of it’s current state.

“Uh sure....” Church said as he looked down at the table.

“The docs said you can leave at any time. They just needed you here for a day to make sure you were okay to be check out. So we can leave if you want.” I said patting him on the back. Tia was still clinging to him only she wasn’t crying anymore.

“Huh... how about that.” Church said looking up from the table. “Mind asking for my clothes?” he asked in a monotone devoid of all emotion.

‘Yeah.....Maybe it was a bad idea to ask about that letter’ I thought as I went to the door and opened it up. Sure enough there was a doctor waiting outside the door about to knock.
“Oh sorry. I was just about to go call for a doc.” I said with a chuckle. The man smiled and nodded before handing my a clipboard and form.

“I heard from outside that you wanted to sign him out so I grabbed the form. Also your friend’s cloths are in the closet.” The doctor said as he began to walk down the hall. “I will be back to help finish up the rest of the paperwork in a few minutes.”

I nodded and closed the door. I went to Church and picked up his pen before beginning to fill out the forms.

“Your cloths are in that closet by the way.” I said as I scribbled a few things down. Then I remember something. “Oh yeah... And you can take those restraints off.” I smiled sheepishly before going back to filling out the form.

Church sighed before organizing a few papers that he wanted to keep. He then folded them and put them on the table. Tia used her magic to help get the restraints off and helped him get up. Being in bed for 3 days is gonna screw with your motor skills a bit, after all.

As he tried to get off the bed he almost collapsed if it weren’t for my aid and helped him stand up.

“This makes me feel like I’m crippled..” Church said looking down at the floor.

“Ah you’ll get used to it. Besides you were in a short coma. You’re gonna be a little weak.” I said as I helped him over to the closet. “Your stuff is in here. Come on let’s get it out and then you can get dressed and then we are out of here.”

“Sure.” Church said with a small sigh. I shook my head and opened up the closet for him and let him grab the folded up clothing. After he got what he needed I helped him to the bathroom and then closed the door so he could have some privacy. While I was helping Church, Tia had taken over filling out the form and as already done.

“Wow.... That was really fast.” I said looking over the document. Tia merely smirked and chuckled.

“I am his marefriend after all. I should know how to take care of him.” She said. I shook my head again and went back to my seat and waited for Church to finish getting dressed.

Church came stumbling out of the bathroom. “Fuck. I hate being like this.” he muttered.

Tia walked over and let him lean against her while changing her appearance so she could walk out without having to deal with any commotion.

“Well now that that’s over shall we head out?” I said smiling again.

“Sure.” Church said as he leaned against Tia. I nodded and opened the door so they could walk out first. I had to grab Lyra from her chair as she was still asleep and slightly snoring.

Soon after we all left the room I saw that doctor from earlier. We made some small talk and I handed him the form. A few more business type things later we were finally leaving the hospital and going back to the dorms again.

I waved down and taxi before we all were piling in and we were off. Church sat besides me and Celestia and Luna was sitting beside me as fast as the taxi started moving Church put his earbuds in and then pull his hood up..

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

We arrived at the dorms a little while later and while everyone got out, I tapped Church on the shoulder. “Yo Church. We back.” I said

“Mmh... yeah...” Church said as he took off his hood he then deeply sighed as he took out his ear buds. “I’m going to have to put up a fucking charade before I get to my dorm.”

“What do you mean?” I asked as I helped him out of the Taxi. Tia had fallen asleep somehow and was sleepily leaning against Luna, much to her displeasure and Lyra was still in my arms, soundly sleeping away.

Church looked at me and said “Do you think I can look like this?” He gestured his saddened face “Then everyone will blame you for something.”

“Dude.... That has already been happening. It’s no big deal. You learn to block it out.” I said as I looped his arm over my neck and helped him walk to the dorms while everyone else followed closely behind.

“Hey didn’t the doc give you a eye patch?” Church asked without looking.

“Heh heh yeah. Here.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a simple black eyepatch and just as a joke I pulled out set of wax paper that had a sniper sticker on it. I put both of the things in his hand and opened the door to the dorms.

Church quickly removed the bandage and put on the eye patch. As we entered the dorms I felt him let go of me and started limping in.

“What are you doing?” I asked

“Putting on a charade.” Church said back quietly before leaning against the receptionist desk and yelling “YAAAAAR! I’M BACK BITCHES!”

He soon got a swarm of cheers from everyone in the hallways beyond the front office and a quick scolding from the office lady. After that he started limping up the stairs to his dorm.

“Fucking cunt security cameras.” He said as he flipped one off.

“Hey Shadow Strike.” Church said he passed a pony. Lyra, whom was still in my arms, Luna, Tia, and me followed Church both in worry and curiosity.

“What is he up to?” I asked Tia who just shrugged.

“Where is the common room again?” Church asked as he leaned against a wall.

“Um... Just down the hall to and to the right if I remember correctly.” I said scratching my head with my hand before supporting Lyra with it again.

Church just started limping down the hall and passed his dorm door

“Fucking dorm I hate you.” He muttered as he passed it.

“Dude, you got to stop pushing yourself.” I said as I walked up next to him more worried than before. “Your gonna end up straining your muscles and then be bedridden....Again!”

“Does it look like I give a fuck?!” Church yelled with a tear coming from his right eye. I backed off and let him walk past.

“Now I am even more worried. Greeeeeat.” I said walking after him but keeping my distance.

Church turned a corner and I catched up to him I saw that most people and ponies were sitting there talking on chairs a sofa and some were watching T.V.

“Wait.... Is that Church?” One random stranger asked.

“Yeah Its me... Now... Slayer here.” Church said as he looped an arm around my neck. “Never hurt me in anyway.... So who ever blamed something about him doing this.” He gestured his eye patch.

“CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF THEN BURN IN HELL!!” He yelled out as he let go of me and started limping back. I turned to him looking confused as everyone else in the room and walked after him a bit faster now. Getting back next to him I looped his arm over my neck again and supported his weight again.

“Thank for that.” I said as I helped him walk with Lyra hanging somewhat limply in my one arm.

“No problem... No one blames my friend and gets away with it...” Church said as we reached his dorm door. Right as he was going to unlock it he dropped his key and started shaking.

“Son of a fucking...” Church muttered as he tried to bend down.

“Here let me..” I bent down and grabbed the key before putting it back into his hand. “There you go.”

He shakily put the key in and turned it. After getting his dorm opened I helped walk him into the living room before I could set him down he tripped.

“Fuck!… I can’t do this.... I just fucking can’t...” Church muttered as he tried to get up. I put Lyra on the couch and helped him get back onto his feet. When he stood up again Tia and Luna finally caught up with us.

“There you two are. We lost you at the front office.” Tia said now more awake. “How is Church doing?”

“Well you could try asking him. You know... Because he is right here.” I said playfully poking him in the side.

“I can’t do this....” Church started shaking. “I feel like a cripple.... And fucking sucks... I just...” Church exhaled. “And the talk we had this morning did not help either.”

“Alright.. Alright look. Forget the talk we had. It’s in the past and your not a ‘cripple’. you’re just weak.” I said helping him to the couch.

“It’s pretty hard to forget my brother....” Church said quietly.

“I never said forget him. I said forget the talk..... You know what I am going to take this moment to say something cheesy.”

I sat down on the couch next to him and took a deep breath. “Okay now you’re probably going to want to leave and get some chips for this, but just bear with me here alright?”

“Okay. Church, your loved ones are always with you even if you never met them. They are always watching you and loving everything you do. As long as you remember them they won’t ever leave you.” I said smiling. ‘Oh my god....That was the worst little speech I have used yet.’

Church was just quiet and looking down at his table a few minutes later he looked up with a few stray tears and said.

“Even when I’m depressed I can still see that you have cheesy lines.” he said with a small but sad chuckle.

“You know it.” I replied giving him a nudge with my elbow. “Do you at least see what I am trying to say?”

“Yeah... Yeah.” Church said “You know.... nevermind.” He waved a dismissive hand at me.

“What?” I said curiously.

“You sure you want to know?”

“Worst part is not knowing. Like a horror movie.” I said with a chuckle. Then Luna threw a empty E-drink can at me head and hit right on target. “OW! Damn it, Luna what did I do?”

“That was for not stopping us from watching the whole Paranormal trilogy.” Luna said throwing another can at me. I chuckled and nudged Church again. “So what did you want to say?”

Tia walked over and nuzzled Church before giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “Tell us all Church.” She said giving him a smile.

“Alright alright fine... How about this... I just need something else to think about so um... You and Luna, Tia and Me on a double date?”

Everyone was silent. I scratched my head and shrugged. “I don’t see a problem with it.... Wait I do see one thing wrong.” I said raising my finger in the air. “We need someone to watch this trouble maker.” I pointed to Lyra. “I have found she goes through my stuff and game data when I am not home.”

“Huh.... Well um.... Just send her to Bon Bon was it? Its like her best friend.... If not that then just take Hank. I’m sure he could watch over her.” he said.

“Well then I am alright with it. How about you girls?” I said looking to Tia and Luna. They both looked either hesitant or embarrassed.

“So uh.... Want to play or watch something?” Church asked as he looked at his T.V.

“YES!” Both abruptly shouted causing me and Church to nearly jumped out of our skin.

“Uh to which one ?”

“Both!” Luna said skipping over and jumping into my lap.

“Well I was going to say the double date, but I guess I could try out a game or two” Tia said

Tia walked over to the couch before Jumping into the seat next to Church then laying down in his lap and she just smiled at Church. Luna of course looked jealous of her sister.

“Okay I am getting up before a cat fight starts.” I said getting up and going to the fridge. “Hey church you want anything while I am up?”

“Uh.... Get a me a soda, the whiskey, and a red bull.” Church said

“You drink?” I said grabbing the Red bull and two sodas then looking for the whiskey.

“Yeah... But only on special occasions.” Church replied.

“This is a special occasion? And where is the bloody stuff.” I said setting the other things on the counter and continuing my search.

“Try checking the top shelf, if not there check the wine compartment on the bottom shelf.” Church said as he was looking at a movie or a game holding a game in his right hand and a movie in his left.

Then I got an evil idea. “Hey Church? Want to go on a horror marathon?” I said as I found the whiskey and put it on the counter.

“If so.... A horror game, I hate horror movies.”

“Oh please. Just one horror movie?” I begged as I brought his stuff over, setting it on the table and opening up my soda.

“What movie?” Church said with a defeated sigh.

“Hmmm.” I scratched my chin in thought of what horror movies I had in my dorm. “Well I have the Paranormal trilogy....”

“And Trilogy is so much a single movie.” Church said with some sarcasm.

“I was referring to them separately. I just didn’t want to say them individually. Anyway...I also have Chernobyl Diaries.” I said giving him another choice.

“Uh.... I have no fucking clue....” Church said confused.

“Welp that’s what we are watching then!” I said walking over to the door and opening it. “YOu guys want me to make some popcorn too?”

“Why the fuck not.” Church said

“I don’t see why not” Tia said.

“Maybe?” Luna said unsure of herself.

“Okie dokie!” I said while walking out and into my dorm. Grabbing the movie and a packet of popcorn, I shut my door and locked it before walking back into Church’s dorm.

“Hey Church I am using your microwave.” I said going to the kitchen.

“Why may I ask?” I heard him say from the living room.

“Because Lyra blew mine up remember?” I said putting the popcorn packet in the microwave and pressing a few commands on it before the familiar whirring began.

“Oh yeah...” Church said as he thought back a few days.

“While I am waiting for the popcorn does anyone else want something?” I said walking back and picking up my drink. “Because we aren’t stopping the movie while it’s playing.”

“Uh, get me some ice then, my drink is probably gonna get medium.”

“Alright anyone else?” I said walking back into the kitchen.

“A soda for us please.” Luna said from her spot on the couch.

“You said you had alcohol...” Tia said.

“Y-Yeah....” Church answered back.

“I... I don’t like where this is heading.” I said walking into the kitchen.

“Have any wine?” Tia asked Church.

“Should have some either on the top shelf or like the bottom says Wine shelf.” Church said. “Get the mare what she wants slayer!” he added before being pulled into a deep kiss by Tia.

“Yeah yeah...” I said waving a hand at them before grabbing two bottles off the shelf. “Um...Red or white wine?”

“Eh.... Numbers! Nu-” Church tried to say before being forcefully pulled in for another kiss.

“Um....... Like dates?...I guess. Um...Let’s see.” I hold up the red wine and read the label. “Uh the red wine says 1920. That good?”

“Other bottle? Celly calm do-” Church again got interuppted.

“Geez...Frisky much?” I say as I look at the other bottle. “1919...The white wine is 1919.”

“Vintage both of them... Take the red one I guess.... Wait is Celly trying to make her sister je-” and again with the damn kiss.

“Uh-huh....I have a feeling this is going to end badly.” I said as I put the white wine back up and went to the microwave to grab the popcorn. Opening up the bag I slightly burn myself and me being the kind of man I am I...

“FUCK THAT HURT!!” Bitched about it. “Stupid fucking popcorn always burning me with it’s butter.”

I heard a loud laugh from the living room “Watch for the butter, for it strikes again burning its latest victim! Slayer!” Church yelled. He tried to say something else but It got muffled by something.

“Yep... Definitely frisky.” I said as I picked up the bag again only by it’s corner. “Hey Church! Where are your bowls!”

“Top- “ Church began but again got interrupted

“Got it!” I yelled back. I opened up the top cabinet and took out the largest bowl I could find. Then, being rather cautious this time, opened the popcorn up and poured its contents out and went back into the Living room where Church was getting assaulted by Tia.

He currently was lying down on the couch and Tia with her wings fully extended on top of him. Whilst Luna on the other hand, looked extremely jealous .

“Gees.. I have heard of forceful women, but that is ridiculous.” I said putting the popcorn down and going to the Xbox. “Y’all might want to stop that. I am putting the movie in and I would like a place to sit.”

“I would like to help bu-” Church got interrupted by a hoof. Then Tia leaned in and whispered something in his ear that made Church look nervous.

“Okay you’re making me nervous here.” I said putting the movie in the tray and walking back over.

“Where are the drinks?” Church asked. I deadpanned and pointed down at the table.

“Oh shit. I forgot Tia’s drink one moment.” I said beginning to walk to the kitchen.

“I’ll GET IT!” Church shot up from the couch leaving a half dazed Tia with half closed eyes. She sighed and looked to Luna who sat there embarassed. She stuck her tounge out at her.

“What is goi-...Nevermind I don’t want to know.” I said putting my hand over my eyes and sighing. I walked over and plopped down onto the couch between Luna and Tia while Church was doing whatever in the kitchen. “Hey did I leave my drink in the- oop nevermind there it is.” I grabbed my soda from the table before leaning back.

“Oh... Where is the wine...” Church said from the kitchen. I heard him rummage around in a few cabinets and pulling out a glass. “Well I got that at least... Hey where did you put the wine?” Church said.

“On the counter. It should have been right there when you walked in...” I said

“But there is nothi- Oh. There. Heh.... I’m blind.” Church said as he picked up the wine, whisky, red bull and luna’s soda. He came out with all of it and put it down on the coffee table, he then ran back in and grabbed two glasses. One was a wine glass, the other was a whiskey glass.

“Come on! Just sit down already. I am starting the movie.” I said pressing play on the movie.

“Ease off the gas christ!” Church said as he ran into the living room with the glasses and put them down. They were quickly filled with wine and one odd combination.... Red bull, Cola, and whiskey.

“Yea yea...Come on just sit already!” I said scooting over and taking a drink from my soda. “I get impatient when it comes to movies.”

Church sighed and sat down next to Tia who promptly jumped on him. “Woah! I barely get to sit down and you are all over me.” Church said a bit surprised.

I shook my head and watched as the opening scene began.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

As the movie ended with the russians throwing the girl to the mutated people, Luna was already cowering and trying to hide herself in my neck. I looked over to Church and Tia and Church was just shifting a little in his seat while Tia was clinging to him and not taking her eyes off the screen.

“Well... That was a nice movie.” I said with a smile and finishing off my drink.

“Eh, It was mediocre.” Church said as he tried to reach for his glass but kept missing. “Ouh... I might be a bit doozy.”

“How many of those weird combo drinks did you make yourself?” I said looking at the empty cans of coke and Redbull.

“Uh.... Six maybe? Ten? A baker’s dozen?” Church said trying to think back. I shook my head and chuckled.

“Here... One moment.” I got up and went into the Kitchen where I grabbed a cup and filled it with ice. I walked back and while Church wasn’t looking, dumped the entire contents down the back of his shirt.

“HOLY FUUUUCK THATS COOOLD!” Church yelled as he shot straight up and off the couch. He ran around in the room before tripping and landing on his side. “FUCK NOW IT HURTS AND ITS COLD!”

All the while I was laughing my ass off and Luna wasn’t faring any better. I could even see Tia trying not to giggle.

“Ough... The whole room is spinning.” Church said as he rolled over on his stomach.

“That is because you ran in a circle like a maniac.” I said chuckling.

“Well it was cold... So I had to outrun it.....” Church slurred out.

“Well I can see it didn’t do much to sober you up soooo..” I walked over and picked him up. “..Off to bed with you.”

Church stumbled around before turning and saying “You can borrow my guest room if you want.... If you get what I mean” As he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“I can’t punch you because you’re hurt.... So I will settle for this.” I let go of him and stepped away and watched as he fell to the ground. “And now I am just going to drag you...”

“Actually... I’ll take him.” I heard Tia said with a seductive tone.

“I am sure you would, but to be honest I would prefer not to be kept up all night.” I said picked up Church again and walking him back to his room. “Besides....He’s passed out.”

“B-but.. I’m sti-” Church began but I quickly covered his mouth.

“What was that? I think the neighbors need to turn down their T.V.. Gonna blow out their ears one day.” I said before opening Church’s door and dragging him inside.

What I failed to notice was that Celestia was sneaking in after me and then hiding in the closet.

“Why do I get the feeling I am being watched?” I said looking around. I shrugged and put Church on the bed before covering him up and walking out of the room. Then I walked back in and sighed. “Tia get out of here.”

“No.” Tia said in a childish voice.

“Tiiiia....Out.” I stated pointing a finger out the door.

“No. I want Churchy.” She said again.

“Maybe some other time. Right now the last thing he needs is someone fondling him in his drink induced sleep. Now out.” I said again going to the closet.

“Why is the pillow spinning?” Church asked himself. “Stop spinning...”

“Like I said the last thing he needs is someone fondlings him while he is trying to sleep.” I corrected.

“Noooo.” Tia whined.

“Tia I swear I am going to drag you out right in front of your sister.” I threatened.

“I want Chuuurchy!” Tia whined even more.

“Alright then let me ask you a question. How empty was that wine bottle when you got off the couch?” I questioned. I looked out the door and to couch before seeing that the wine bottle was on the floor empty.

“It was half full.....” Tia lied.

“Hmmm. Really?” I said leaning against the doorway.

“Yes! Now let me have Churchy...” She whined yet again.

“Yeeee- no. Now come on.” I said going to the closet. “Luna help me here!”

“With what?” Luna said walking into Church’s room.

“Tia is drunk in Church’s closet attempting to fondle him while he sleeps.” I summed up.

“Ah.... I didn’t need to know that.” She said sticking her tongue out in disgust.

“Well you asked. Now come on!” I said tapping on the closet’s door. “Tia I am giving you one last chance. Come out or I will force you out.”

“Chur-*Hic*-Chy!” She slurred out.

“How did she drink that entire bottle without us noticing?” I said grabbing the handle on the closet. I opened the door and as quickly as I could grabbed the sun princess while trying to not to get bucked in the jaw by the flailing hooves. Luna used her magic to restrain her while I carried her out.

Due to her being much larger that her sister, I had a bit of strain, but managed to get her on the couch before falling on my ass from the little scene she made. She whined the entire time too. I stood up and went to Church’s room to close the door, but right as I was going to close it.

“Hey Slayer.” I looked into the door to see Church on the verge of sleeping.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“Thanks for being there. And asking....” Church said a bit sleepy. I smiled and chuckled.

“Anytime pal. Anytime. By the way if you feel someone crawl into your bed... Just scream or something alright?” I said cautiously.

“Uh, alright... I’ll try.” Church replied quietly before falling asleep. I closed the door and walked back to the couch where Tia was still struggling to get out of Luna’s magical grasp.

“Alright Tia I warned Church about what you were going to do, so just sleep here tonight kay?” I said yawning a bit.

“B-but I want Chuuurchy.” Tia whined she gave me the puppy eyes. I just sighed and rubbed my sleepy eyes.

“Sorry Tia, but you’re just going to have to sleep alone tonight. Or until your less frisky and drunk.” I said letting another yawn escape me.

“Fine.” She huffed and yawned too.

“Why are yawns so infectious?” I said walking over to the guest room and grabbing a spare blanket for Tia. I walked back and covered her up before walking back to the guest room. Which happened to be Church’s studio, but with a bed.

“Luna come on! I think it’s safe to let her go.” I yelled both flopping onto the bed not caring about the covers.

“Coming!” She yelled back before I heard some drunken giggles. I facepalmed and then felt someone crawl next to me. “Yes she is definitely ‘hammered’ as I have heard it called.”

“Actually at this point the proper term is ‘Shit faced’.” I said yawning one last time and closing my eyes.

“I love you.” Luna said snuggling up against me. I smiled and hugged her.

“Love ya too.” I replied before letting sleep over come me.

Author's Note

A/N:Hey everyone! Another big chapter!

whoo hoo!

Alpha I told you not to bring Fluttershy in here....

What? She was here before me.... o__o

That is slightly disturbing. And fascinating. Did she get into the pills or something?

This chapter of L.a.C.p.s was brought to you by, Red Rooster and Mountian Dew. And Rooster teeth.

I thought Blizzard was sponsoring this....

I got us hooked up on some of those too....

Ah...Anyway! Glad if you enjoyed this chapter, Don’t care if you didn’t. Anyway here is a message from Fluttershy.

*Holds up a sign* ‘I <3 readers’.

Huh.... Apparantly I’ve gotten more stuff here that says we got sues in coming.... Oh well.

Eh.... Just throw’em in the fire like we usually do.....CYA!!!

Chapter 17: Waking up, trolls, and a awkward talk.

Chapter 17

Waking up, trolls, and a awkward talk.

A/N: Hey guys.... This is going to end up being one of the more mature chapters in my story. I guess you have been warned?

I woke up a little better than I have the rest of the week. I yawned and stretched my arms before sitting up and sighing. I looked down and saw Luna was still sleeping. I smiled happily before getting up and walking out sitting yawning loudly. I walked out of the guest room/studio and into the kitchen before realizing something.

“Wait a minute....” I looked over to the couch and saw that it was vacant. “... Son... Of a bitch.”

I groaned and pulled a soda out of the fridge before walking to Church’s room and drinking my soda while I walked. Opening the door, I quite honestly prepared for the worst, but when I walked I wasn’t as disgusted as I had assumed I was going to be.

Instead of Tia hounding Church like a animal, I just saw them on the bed with their lips locked against each other. I shook my head and cleared my throat.

“I thought you said you weren't going to come in here Celly.” I said smirking. They stopped and both of them looked at me.

“But I said I wanted Churchy.” Tia whined.

“May I ask just how long you waited before you got up and ate Church’s face?”

“One minute.” Tia said. I deadpanned.

“Really? Or was it more like thirty seconds?” I said crossing my arms.

“Twenty.” Church said.

“At least she waited... Somewhat. Just remember.. The double date is today.” I said walking out.

“It is?” Church said surprised.

“Well yeah... Did you want to make it all fancy?” I said looking back in. ‘And they are kissing again...’ “Oi! Stop it for a second.”

Both of them reluctantly stopped. “Yes?” Church said looking at me.

“Were you expecting a fancy date or just something informal?” I said leaning against the doorway. “If you answer my questions you can go back to your teenage makeout fest.”

“Just cause you dont get any tongue out of Luna.” Church shot back.

“At least she doesn’t have to be drunk to want to kiss me.” I retorted with a smile.

“Does she look drunk now?” Church asked.

“Kinda yea...” I said pointing at her swaying.

“Dude, we did.... Uh.... Yeah you get it like 30 minutes ago or something.” Church deadpanned.

“Aaaand there goes my good morning. See ya later.” I said turning on my heels and walking out.

“I never answered your question!” Church yelled.

“TELL ME OVER BACON!” I yelled back and going to the fridge.

“AWESOME! MAKE THEM EXTRA CRISPY!” Church yelled from his room.

I shook my head and walked to the fridge before grabbing the bacon and throwing it onto the counter with a ‘Clunk’. I grabbed a pan out of the cabinet and turned on the stove. “CHURCH, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU COME OUT IN A ROBE I WILL THROW A PAN AT YOUR CROTCH.” I yelled at him.

I grabbed a knife and opened up the back before pulling half of them out and throwing them into the pan with some butter.

Thats when Church walked out with some slacks and a t-shirt and a robe on him. I grabbed a pan and held it up. “Warned you.” I said taking aim.

“I have a freaking t-shirt on me and slacks. Its morning for christ sakes, ease of the gas.” He said covering his private area. I sighed and lower the pan.

“Yeah alright. At least it’s not just the robe.” I said going back to the bacon.

“Not my fault this place is so fucking cold.” Church muttered as he walked over to the fridge and opened it.

“I am in a T-shirt and shorts....” I said flipping the bacon. “How are you cold?”

“Uh, yeah.....” Church said as he took out a energy drink and closed the fridge. “I’ve uh, been smoking for a while.”

“Ah....” I said as I turned back to the bacon. “Hey could you do me a favor?”

“Need extra butter?” Church said as he opened the energy drink.

“Um no... I need my pants.” I said pointing to the guest room. “Should be on the edge of the bed.”

Then he gave me a very disturbing look. He was either smiling or disgusted. “What?”

“Oh nothing, I’ll get them. By the way, you are washing my sheets.” He said with a weird tone.

“What are yo-... NO nononono! we didn’t do anything! It was really hot and I took my pants off!” I said a bit more worriedly than I should have.

“Oh, I bet it was hot alright.” He said as he started walking to the guest room. “Make sure to make some salad or something for the girls.”

“Right.... Think they’ll like eggs?” I said going back to the fridge.

“I’m not sure....” Church said with a small frown on his face. “Should I ask them?”

“Well ask Tia. I think Luna is still sleeping.” I said pulling out a small bag of salad. “Why do you have salad anyway? Never figured you for the healthy type.”

“Well I can’t treat myself like complete crap or else it just hurts playing games or something. And besides, ever so often its quite nice to eat salad.” Church explained.

“Ri~ght.... Just go ask Tia. And Church?” I said turning to look at him.

“Mmmh yes?” Church hummed.

“Next time.... Don’t tell me what you guys were doing.” I said shuddering and going back to the bacon.

Church chuckled as he walked out of the kitchen “You know. Luna have quite the nice pl-”

I grabbed one of the frying piece of bacon and threw it at him. “SHADDUP.”

“HOT HOT HOT! OOOH!” Church yelled as he catched the bacon with his hands but did not expect it to be so hot.

“That’s what ya get! Now just... Go get Tia. And wake Luna up if you can.” I said putting another piece of bacon and the pan.

“Fine...” Church said before muttering something “Fucking slave driver right here...”

“Do I need to hurt you with more bacon?” I yelled at him.

“No no no. I’ll do as asked.” Church said as he walked into the guest room.

“Thanks. Extra crispy right?” I asked.

“Yeah you know it!” I heard Church yell from the guestroom.

I continued to cook until I remembered something. “OH SHIT CHURCH DON’T GET IN FRONT OF L-” *THWACK* “una.... Ow.” I cringed slightly at the sound and went back to cooking.

Church came out with my pants and Luna in a tow with a sheepish smile and she was apologizing to Church.

“We are very sorry Church! We forgot to tell you we kick in our sleep.”

“Eh, Its fine.... Nothing to worry about. Besides it was my fault for not being careful.” Church said as he handed me my pants. I grabbed them and slipped them on before saying.

“Thank you.... Where, uh... Where did she hit you?”

“Thankfully, just the stomach. Lost some air for a few seconds... If it were any lower...” Church cringed at the thought.

“Yeah I’m going to get Tia now.” Church said as he started walking to his room

“Yea.... I’ll get you a ice pack for your stomach.” I said going to the fridge and pulling out a small ice pack.

“Hey mind putting on some Coffee?” Church said before entering his room.

“Yeah sure.... Um... Wheres the coffee stuff?!” I yelled at the room.

“Above the Coffee pot!” Church yelled back with a deadpan tone.

“Of course it’s above the pot.” I mumbled as Luna walked up behind me. “Morning Lu-Lu.”

“Oh starting nicknames are we?” Luna asked nudging me. I chuckled and nodded before grabbing the coffee stuff and setting up the coffee pot.

“Besides it’s not like it’s a bad thing... Or like someone else is gonna start calling you Lu-Lu. Other than your sister probably.” I said before grabbing a plate and putting the bacon on it. “Soups on Church!”

“FOOD!” Church yelled as he came out of his room with Tia clinging to him.

“That.... Is an interesting sight. Not really surprising though.” I said going to the sink to wash the salad off before preparing it.

“Hey Celly can you stop clinging for a minute.” Church asked Tia, who complied. Church then walked over to his Xbox and started it up before grabbing a controller.

“What did you mean Slayer?” Luna asked. I stopped and then shuddered.

“You... Probably don’t want to know.” I said before grabbing a large bowl and pouring the salad into it. “YO Church? You got any type of salad dressings?”

“Hold on, where did I put that song? Aha! Here its is!” Church said as he pressed X on his controller and started up some music that was sounding over the Cinema system he had hooked up to the Xbox.

“Uh yeah I have some... Should be on the door shelves.” Church said as he walked over.

“Um.. Kay.” I open the fridge and pull out a bottle of dressing. “AH here we go.”

I walked over and poured some of the dressing into the salad before mixing it up and walking over to the counter. “Kay everybody. Food!”

“Awesome!” Church said as he sat down at the table. I grabbed a few bowls and plates for us before walking over and placing them down.

“Huh... This song reminds me of a tune I once heard....” Then I got a good(Or dumb) idea. “.. .Hey I will be right back. Just uh... Eat without me.” With that I got up and went to the door before exiting. I went into my dorm and grabbed my guitar and plucked it a few times to see if it was still in tune. Please with the results I picked it up and walked back to Chuch’s dorm.

“Okay I am back.” I said putting the guitar down and going back to the table. “So is it good or did I fuck up?”

“BACON WAS SO CRISPY THAT I MELTED ON THE INSIDE!” Church yelled with his mouthful. “Sorry....” He said afterwards looking down on his plate.

I blinked and nodded. “Ooookay?... I know I did good on one thing. How about the salad?” I asked grabbing a piece of bacon myself.

“It is very good.” Tia said before taking another bite of salad, Luna just nodded in agreement as she had simply stuffed her face. I chuckled both crunching down on my bacon and smiling. ‘Huh... It didn’t actually come out that bad’ I thought.

“So what’s the plan for today?” I said finishing off my first piece of bacon before grabbing another.

“Believe it or not, I need to finish a song.” Church said.

“Alright... How about you girls?” I asked looking to Luna and Tia.

“Well we are free today.” Luna said before eating some more salad. I nodded before looking to Tia. Tia put a hoof to her chin and thought for a moment.

“I have a few things to take care of back at the castle but other than that I am free for the rest of the day.” She said happily. I nodded again and finished eating before going and picking up my guitar.

“Well I have nothing else to do today, so I am just going to do what I always do... Play videogames and work on my guitar skills.”

“Feel free to hang out here in my dorm. Infact if you bring over your xbox I’m sure we could hook it up to my Tv.”

I put a hand on my chin and thought. “Eh. Why not? Wait.... has anyone seen Lyra?” I said looking to the couch. She was actually just laying there still sleeping. “Whew.... Thought I had left her somewhere. By the way... Are we leaving her with Hank?”

“Yeah... I don’t want her in my studio poking around with unfinished tracks.... Which reminds me I need to show you something later.” Church said. I nodded and walked over to my guitar before sitting on the couch.

“I am just gonna see if I can remember that old song I made a few weeks ago.” I said as I mindlessly strummed the guitar.

“You made a song?” Church said with a raised eyebrow.

“It was completely instrumental, but yes.” I said with a small sheepish grin. “ I just randomly began to play something and well... I wrote it down and forgot until now.”

“Huh... I never thought you were the musical type.... Even though you and I have played once or twice together.”

“When you get me bored enough I will do almost anything.” I said smiling before I began to play a tune. “Hey I think I remember it!”

“You know that ‘Almost anything’ can be taken in many ways right?” Church said.

“Yup! And I meant it.” I said with a grin. “Shit... I forgot... Augh one moment. I am going to my dorm to look for that paper.” I got up and went to the door and opened it up.

“Okay... I need to check on something.” Church said as he got up and walked into his room.

“Kay.” I said as I walked out and went into my dorm and rummaged around for a few minutes. I walked around until I snapped my fingers. “Aha! I remember..”

I walked into my room and went to my closet. I opened it up and found a small stack of papers. “There you are you little bastard.”

I grabbed the piece of paper before walking out and locking up my dorm before going back into Church’s dorm. “I got the paper! Now I can remember. Thank you lord for the ability to write.”

“Uh-huh... That’s great just got to finish this.” Church said from his room.

“Right. Now if I could only get that other instrument.” I said as I looked over the paper. “Why did I have to have someone help me? I can’t play this without those stupid drums.”

“I have drums in the studio! ease of the gas! I’ve got to finish writing!” Church yelled from his room.

“Yeah yeah.... Now...What can I do to this?” I said looking at the notes. “Hmmm... Maybe? Naw.. I can’t add lyrics to this. Be to hard. Oh well. Church! I am stealing your Xbox for a bit.”

“Uh... Sure! Aaaand... Done!” Chruch yelled from his room he shortly after that came out. “What are you borrowing my Xbox for?”

“It’s just how I say I am going to be playing it.” I said as I already on the couch playing Black Ops 2 Zombies.

“Alright.... But mind pausing, I have something to show you.” Church said as he walked over to the studio with a laptop.

“Um sure...” I paused my game and hopped up while Luna walked over and took over my game. “Damn it Church! You made me lose my game!”

I walked into the studio and flopped onto the bed. “Alright what is this?”

Church was hooking up his laptop to a huge equalizer machine that stood against the wall. “Alright, so here is the deal either we can do this with two headsets or the two mountain blower speakers there.”

“May I ask something?” I said looking at the large devices. “Where the hell did you get the funding for all this crap!?”

“My albums, and some from my Father.” Church said looking at me. “Did you call my studio crap?”

“No I called the area everywhere else crap. Just show me this already!” I said standing up before flopping back down onto the bed again. “By the way.... Me and Luna didn’t do anything!! We just slept!”

“Fine Mountain Blowers it is then.” Church said as he connected the speakers. “Sure you didn’t.”

“You aggravate me sometimes.” I said rubbing my eyes under my glasses.

“I try my best!” Church said smiling “Okay, here it is...”

Church opened up a program on his laptop before pressing play and walking over to the equalizer. The music soon started up. I was gently bobbing my head to the beats as the speakers did their jobs.

“Wait a second!” I saw Church mouth. “I think this is the wrong track!”

“WHAT?!” I yelled.

Church then lowered the music and said “Yep... That was one of my finished songs... Uh, i showed you the wrong track.”

“Still pretty good.” I said stretching out for a moment..

“Wait here it is.” Church said as he opened another file on his laptop before playing it.

“Just a heads up, I’m the one singing.” Church said.

“Ah it’s fine. It’s not that bad.” I said as the lyrics started. “Better than most I have heard anyway.”

I gently was nodding my head to the beat again until I was almost breaking my neck as the song sped up. I smiled at the music and continued. As the song finished I smiled and then looked up and felt to see/feel my hair being frayed and sticking in different directions. I looked to Church and said one thing.

“Worth it.”

“So what did you think? I just need a second opinion. I’m going to release that to the world wide web.” Church said.

“Well if my outrageous hair doo is not a testament then it was pretty damn good. I am not going to lie.” I said looking around for my hat. “Where did I leave that hat last night?”

“What hat?” Church asked.

“You know. That camo beanie I always am wearing.” I said lifting up a few pillows. I walked over to the door and opened it up and yelled. “Hey Luna have you seen my ha-”

Then I saw she was wearing it and smirking. “Sneaky little vixen. Give it back!” I yelled running out to her.

“Oh and uh, YOU STILL ARE WASHING THESE SHEETS!” Church yelled from inside the studio. I ran back and stuck my head in the door.

“How many times do I have to say it? WE. DID. NOT. DO. ANY. THING.” I yelled at him before walking away.

“SURE YOU DIDN’T BUT THAT DOES NOT EXPLAIN WHY THERE IS A WET SPOT ON THE SHEETS!” Church yelled back. I stopped and slowly walked backwards until I was looking at him again.

“Say wut now?” I said confused.

Church just gestured a wet spot on his guest bed. “How the fuck did that get there?” He asked.

I blinked and shrugged. Then I turned back to the couch where Luna was. “Um... Luna? Could you come here for a second?”

She nodded and trotted on over. “What is it Honey bunny? We were slaughtering the undead.”

“Honey bunny?” I said. “Nevermind. Can you help me and Church out for a second? We need something explained.” She nodded and trotted in. “Yeah... Can you explain what that is?”

I pointed to the spot on the bed and leaned against the door frame.

“I’m betting on wet dreams.” Church said. “Ten bucks.”

“I am gonna smack you.” I said looking at Church. “We are not betting on if someone had a wet dream.”

“Fine... Party pooper.” Church muttered. Luna on the other hand was just staring at the spot on the bed with undilated pupils. Like someone shined a light in her eye.

“Uh Luna you okay?” I said waving a hand in front of her. “Nothing. I think we might have broken her.”

“Should I start some music and see if that wakes her?” Church asked.

“We could actually go get Tia. She might know what is going on. She is her sister after all.” I said pointing out the door.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” Church asked. “Go. Shoo! SHOO!”

“Okay okay!” I said walking out the door. I walked over to the kitchen where Tia was putting the dishes up. “Hey Tia? We need some help here.”

“With what?” She said.

“Um... I think we might have broke Luna.” I said rubbing the back of my head. She looked at me confused until I just sighed. “Just come on... It’s easier to see than explain.”

She nodded and we walked back to the room. “Alright Church you want to explain what happened?”

“Well.... Um... I’m betting wet dream.” Church said “Look its really fucking hard to explain since neither I or Slayer know what that random spot is on the freaking bed is.”

She walked over and look at the bed before sitting and humming to herself. I walked over and stood next to him. “I swear if she does that thing where she puts her hoof in it and licks it I am gonna hurl.” I said shaking my head and looking to Luna. “I wonder what made her just freeze up like that.”

“Me too.... Wet dreams.” Church said as he narrowed his eyes. “I know she had them.”

“Why are you so convinced it was a wet dream? I mean it could have been something else!” I said.

“Because there is some sort of liquid running down Luna’s right leg?” Church said pointing there.

“What?” I looked for my self and he was right. “What the fu-”

“I’m pretty sure that Luna had a wet dream about you Slayer.” Tia said looking at me with a big smile. I groaned and just rubbed my eyes again.

“Son of a... It’s too early for this...” I said walking out leaning against the wall. Then Church came skipping out of his studio.

“Ten bucks.” Church said with a sly grin

“Sorry I don’t have any earth currency on me.” I said with a grin.

“Then ten bits.” Church said with a bigger grin.

“You know I never agreed to th-” I began.

“Ten bits.” Church said as he held out his hand.

“Freaking jerk.” I reached into my pocket and put ten bits in his hand before slumping down to the floor. “It’s WAY too early for this...”

“There is one bit missing.” Church said.

“Open your left hand.” I responded.

“That one is a chocolate coin.” Church said with a serious face.

“Oh yeah...” I took it from his hand and gave him a real bit before eating the chocolate. “Yuck... It’s melted. Oh well.”

“Anyways with you ten bits less richer.” Church said with a evil grin on his face “It’s too early for what?”

“For everything.” I said sighing and taking off my glasses.

“I feel like a pirate.” Church said “Yarrr! Hand over ye watchin’ glasses land lubbar!”

“Like I am going to give you my glasses.” I said looking at the blurry version of Church and putting my glasses back on..

“Alright you need those to see but, uh... “ Church said in a normal voice then he got an idea. “Yahhar! Hand over ye cap fool!”

“My cap? Oh my hat?” I said pulling it out of my pocket. “Why? You have a hat.”

“Just need something to put all of my coins into even though my wallet or money bag is in my room... Yarr.” Church said.

“You’re not pirate Church.... You need a cutlass and a pirate hat before you can do that.” I said

“Wait then.” Church said as he ran off towards his room. A few seconds later he came out with a fake cutlass and a pirate hat. “Yarr! I’m ‘ere to steal yer treasure!”

“Yeah yeah... Why don’t you use your pirate skills to help me out here?” I said standing back up.

“Yarr! Starbord bitch incomin!” Church yelled as he jumped up on the couch.

“AH fuck you.” I said waving a hand at him before walking back into the room with Tia. “Tia your boyfriend has abandoned his mental ship.”

“Yahhar! Its parked right ‘ere.” Church said as he pointed at his imaginary ship that was parked in the middle of the room.

“Actually I think he just blew it up and went down with the ship.” I before walking over to Luna.

“Ah! Don’t be like that ye land lubberin’ fool!” Church said before walking over to the studio door. “Arr” was all that he said.

I just shook my head and turned to him. “Then go swab the deck before I cut ye in twain!” I yelled at him. ‘Damn it now he has got me doing it.’

“Arr, who died and made ye capt’n?” Church asked.

“You if you don’t get moving or help me out here.”

Church just sighed and took of his pirate hat and tossed his fake cutlass down on the floor. “Can’t I have some fun around here?”

“Of course you can. Just help me out here....” I sighed for a second. “...Captain Church.”

“HA- HAR! Of course matey! I shall do it! On my honor as Capt’n!” Church said rather loudly.

“Right so what am I supposed to do about Luna?” I said walking and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Yarr, steal a kiss.” Church said.

“I can’t agree more.” Tia said afterwards.

“Oh no your not a pirate too are you?” I said looking to Tia.

“Yarr, I sure arr.” Tia said raising a fake hook with her right hoof.

“God damn it. What are you then? First mate or admiral?” I said just going along with it.

“I’m actually a admiral... but some time I’m captn’s favorite pe-”

“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!” I yelled clamping my hand over her mouth. “Just please... No.”

I let go and sighed. “Seriously.... What do I do?”

“Yarr, Steal. A. Kiss.” Church repeated himself “Damn it, more of this and I’m going to charge you.”

“Oh go walk the plank.” I said jerking a thumb out the door.

“Arr, ye landlubber! Do as ye wer seid to do!” Church said at me before raising his fake cutlass. “Or ye walks the plank.” he said as he tried to poke me.

“Right.... One moment please.” I got up and walked out of the room before going into my dorm and grabbing something from my dresser. I walked back and shot Church in the back of the head with a dart. “Taste me repeating flintlock capt’n.” I said as I cocked the Mavrick nerf gun.

“Yarr, I can play two at that!” Church said as he ran into his room and came out with a Nerf Vulcan. “Yarr... Eat stone bullets landlubber!” he said before taking aim.

“Oh now that’s cheating.” I said before running and power sliding into the kitchen as he fired at me.

“Arr! Die!” He yelled as he shot a few darts at me.

“When did this become war?!” I yelled out before shooting a dart at him. “Can’t we just make peace?!”

“Ney! One must stand and one must fall! Yarr! Then I’m taking yer loot!” Church said from behind the couch which he had moved too.

“If I said no.... Would you be mad at me?” I said peering over the counter.

“Yarr... Maybe... Shit we should really fix luna.... YARR WE SHOULD STEAL YER LOOT! But well shit first woona.” Church said as he stood up.

“Woona?” I said looking over the counter. “That is..... Rather witty. I applaud you.” I gave him a small clap before standing up. “So can we fix Luna then continue this charade later, uh... Matey?”

He then pull out a Nerf jolt and shot me square in the chest. “Yer dead.”

“If that was the case then you would have been dead when I shot you in the back of the head, but.... Fine.... Ugh. You got me.” I said putting a hand over my chest and walking toward the studio.

“Yarr! Want to play soft air gun sometime?” Church said as he walked after me.

“When Luna is not in a coma then yes...Why not. Maybe paint ball?” I said gesturing for him to follow.

“Maybe.... Or how about just a whole dorm nerf war?” Church said as he followed me.

“If only... I think we would get in trouble.” I said smiling at the idea. “Alright, so you saying kiss Luna and this will all get fixed?”

“Should fix her, I mean if you love someone and you go daydreaming or whatever then shouldn’t that wake you up?” Church said.

“Yarr.” I agreed and entered the room where Tia was giggling like a filly. “What’s so funny?”

She just pointed to my and Church’s shirts. I looked and apparently we were using the velcro darts and my backside was riddled with them as Church said. “Ah... Alright let’s do this...”

I walked up to Luna and gave her a kiss before pulling back. “Nothin’... You lied to me you piratey bastard.” I said turning to Church.

“Wait for it. Waiiit for it. wait a minute.... Did you use tongue?” Church asked.

“Um no...” I said scratching my head. “Didn’t think I’d have too.”

“Well... Thar ye problem lies.” Church said.

“You want me to french Luna?” I said deadpanning.

“YARR!” Church yelled with vigor “Oh and IF it does not work then ye ten bits that me stole is yer’s again.”

“Fair enough.” I said before turning back to Luna. “Well this better work.” I mumbled.

I locked lips with Luna again only this time taking the advice of Church ‘slipping’ some tongue into my actions. It wasn’t very hard to gain entrance with Luna in a state of total obliviousness. Soon as I began Luna actually started to kiss back. Before long we had started a small battle for dominance over the other until we finally had to breath. I panted a little and wiped some saliva from my mouth.

“Like that?” I said turning to Church.

“Yeah... Except less saliva....” Church said as he turned to Celly and kissed her for about a minute or two before breaking it. “Like this.” he then said.

“When did this turn into a kissing contest?” I said looking between Luna and Church. “I am just glad Luna snapped out of her little open eyed coma.”

“Yarr...” Church said quietly.

“Oh shut up.” I said with a smile before turning to Luna. “You okay Luna?”

She nodded before rubbing her head. “We art fine. May we ask what that kiss was about?”

I burned fire red before chuckling. “Well you see you went into a coma and Church over there convinced me it was the only way to ‘snap’ out of it.” I explained. “I ain’t complaining though.”

She nodded and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, but what caused us to goes into that state?”

I pointed over to the bed. “That wet spot on the bed.”

Now she blushed furiously before getting up and rushing out the room. “WENEEDTOUSETHELAVATORYONEMOMENTPLEASE.”

I blinked and looked to Church. “The fuck just happened?”

“....Yarr?” Church said confused. I just shrugged and looked to Tia.

“How about you? You know what just happened?” I said curiously.

“She.... Um.... Ran to the … I have no idea.” Tia said.

“Right... Abandon ship?” I asked.

“Yarr! Go get ye TREASURE!” Church said as he pushed me though.

“B-but... I don’t know where she is!” I complained as I was shoved out the door.

“USE YE MAP!” Church said. “Eh... HEART.”

“Oh now who’s being cheesy?” I said to him as I turned to face him.

“Quiet LANDLUBBER YE HAVE YE QUEST.”

“Yeah yeah....” I waved a hand at him before walking around to try and find any hint of Luna’s presence. All I did find was a bunch of dust. I was about to give up hope until I look behind and saw Luna looking rather embarrassed about something. “There you are. Where did you go running off to?”

“We went off to go.... Do something.” She said uneasily.

“Luna are you okay?” I asked walking over to her. She just sighed and nodded.

“We are fine. Just somethings come up and they are rather hard to avoid.” Luna said. I raised an eyebrow and motioned for her to go on. “Alright get ready for our explanation.”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

I walked back into Church’s studio and grabbed him by the shoulders.

“LUNA IS IN HEAT, DUMBASS.” I said maybe a bit too angry.

“Oh.... Oh... Well then.” Church said looking around...

“Yeah... It’s alright though. It’s not like you knew.” I said slumping back onto the bed.

“Uh...” Church said.

“You didn’t right?” I said looking to him. “Right?”

“Eh.....” He turned and ran out the door.

“GET BACK HERE!!!” I yelled at him.

“CELLY SAVE ME!” He yelled as I chased him out the studio.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Church’s P.O.V.)

As I hid behind my marefriend I saw that, Slayer was infuriated.

“Look lets all calm down here.” I said slowly. He took a deep breath and nodded.

“Alright... Alright I am calm.... Now please tell me why you didn’t tell me beforehand?” he said as he took a step back.

“Don’t ask me. I just found out.” I said defensively.

“From whom exactly?” He asked.

“Celestia.... Who herself just found out too...” I said leaning to the side

“Huh... I guess I got worked up over nothing...” He said blushing a bit and smiling sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“No problem... I guess.....”

“Alright.... Well I am gonna go see if I can help Luna kay?” He said.

“Uh.... Sure.... Go get her champ....” I said.

“You seem a bit off.... Are you okay?” He asked as he walked around Celly to the door.

“Uh....” I looked at Celestia and saw that, she in fact... Looked horny.... As holy shit.... Now she is staring back.

“Uh...” I repeated myself. He looked to Celly before his eyes widened and he hurried his pace out the door.

“Y-yeah I will meet up with you later. Kay?” He said as he rushed to the door.

“Deserter.” I muttered.

“Hey you want Tia sleeping with your best friend in front of you?” He said before opening the door. “If you want to come with be my guest.”

“Sure!” I said as I tried rushing to him. but was grabbed by an invisible force. “What?” my face probably went from relieved to horrified.

“Ah shit....” He said “Um dude... Don’t hurt me for saying this.... HEY TIA!! YOU GOT A FAT FLANK!!”

Before Slayer could bolt through the door, She picked him up with magic and said. “Maybe I should have two toys for tonight.”

He gulped.

“See this is why I was weird before... She is really dominant.” I said.

“Like always or just right now?” He asked looking to me.

“Sometimes.... When she is not in the heat.”

“Ah... WAIT WHAT!?.... See this is why I got pissed. If you had told me that maybe I could have actually saved us...” He said sighing. “Yeah... Can I go please? I have to go find Luna again.”

Celestia bit her lip and looked at Slayer. “Maaaybe.....”

“Okay now I am nervous.” He said shifting a bit in Celestia’s magic.

“You should be. She can be really terrifying sometimes.”

“Point. But seriously. I need to go find Luna. Look you don’t have fat flank. Please just let me down so I can go.” He said wiggling in her magic a bit.

She brought Slayer closer to her face. And Slayer now looked extremely nervous. “Um... Please let me go?” He said with his voice cracking a bit.

Celestia now was.... closing the small distance between Slayer’s and Celestia’s face. “Um Princess what are you doing?” He said trying to lean back as much as he could.

She then brought him closer and licked a part of his cheek. “I should keep you...” She said with lust filled eyes and bit her lip again.

“Ch-church... HELP.” He said looking to me worriedly.

“H-hey Celly could you like.... St-” I said before a gag out of nowhere came and Got attached to my mouth. “Mppph?!” (What the fuck?!)

“Oh that’s just not cricket.... Um... Oh god I am terrified now.” He said looking to Celestia. “SERIOUSLY LET ME GO!!!”

“No...” She said as she took out rope. “I’ll Keep you.”

“TIA I AM FUCKING WARNING YOU.” He yelled and I saw he got one arm loose from her magic. He looked to me and whispered. “Forgive me for this...”

Then he turned to Tia and slapped her. HARD. Her magic suddenly stopped and we both fell to the ground groaning in pain.

“Oooooow.....” He said before crawling over and taking the gag out. “I am so sorry for that. I REALLY didn’t want to do that, but.... Oh shit let’s go!”

“Uh... Okay!” I said as I got up and ran to the door. “Lets go.” I said motioning him to Get out.

“Don’t need to tell me twice.” He said running out and pulling me out with him before slamming the door shut and leaning against it. “If she ever does that to me again..... I am going to taze her.”

“I’ll keep her inside. GO! I WILL SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR THE GREATER CAUSE!” I said.

“Maybe we should both just run away....” He said.

“And get grabbed again? Fuck no. And besides, I just wasted a cheesy quote. Now fucking go.”

“Right thanks man!” He said running down the hallway. “Oh wait... Wrong way...”

He bolted back and stopped in front of me. “By the way.. Please tell Tia I am very, very sorry for slapping her.” Then he bolted down the hallway again.

“Okie dokie....” I said as he waved one last time before disappearing around the corner. I looked again before just collapsing in laughter. “Oh my god.... BEST TROLL EVER.”

Celestia just looked through the door before laughing with me.

“We certainly got Slayer there.” She said with a huge smile before laughing again. I smiled and got up then and walked inside before flopping down on the couch. “You do realize when he finds out you’re good as dead right?”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Slayer’s P.O.V.)

I stopped running after a few minutes and was slightly panting. “Jesus.... If... That was... A.. Joke... I am gonna... Paralyze Church.” I huffed to myself and continued to walk.

After Luna told me that she was going through her heat, she had run off saying something about me hating her or what not. I continued to walk and looked around for Luna. I sighed and got an idea.

“A song! That will lure her out.” I said to myself. “But my guitar is in Church’s dorm... FUCK!”

I sat down and sighed. I thought for a few minutes about how I could possibly get my guitar, but considering what I saw, none of my ideas ended well. After a while I just decided for the good old fashion run n’ grab. I walked back to the dorms hallway and saw that Church wasn’t in the hallway anymore.

“Oh no....” I muttered. I snuck over to the door and put my ear against it. Hearing nothing I gently began to open the door before silently walking in. What I did hear was and was not exactly what I wanted to hear. I heard laughing.

“I still can’t believe he fell for that!” Tia said.

“Yeah that was the best thing ever! Although I think the gag was a bit much.” I heard Church reply.

My left eye twitched slightly and I stood up before taking a deep breath and walking over to my guitar. “Hey guys....”

“Oh hey Slayer! What’s up man?” Church said before kissing Celestia.

“Nothing. Just grabbing my guitar.” I said as I picked it up and throwing it’s strap over my shoulder. “Figured out how to find Luna by the way.”

“Did you now?” Church asked with a smirk.

“Yup... Oh and one last thing before I go...” I said as I turned to stare at both of them with a evil smile. “... I have something planned.”

Church just looked at me with a really weird face before whipping out his phone and quickly sending me a message.

[(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻﻿]

“Um what?” I said looking at him.

“I want to flip a table.... But can’t since my coffee table costs too much and same goes with the other one.” Church said as he had a small frown on his face.

“Oh... Well then this is my reply.” I walked outside the door before sending him a message.

( Y )

[I love you in the most Hetrosexual way possible right now.] Church replied from his phone.

I shook my head and laughed before walking down the hall.

[I was serious though... My revenge will be ruthless. >:3] I replied.

[Well.... Fuck. :I ] Church replied to my reply.

[Not ‘cleat to the face’ ruthless, but troll ruthless. :3] I sent right afterward

[Prime example there... Meh, At least you did not send me out in the street during a stormy night.]

[ :3.... you should stop giving me ideas.] I sent with a small suppressed chuckle

[Shit.... I’ve created a monster. Wtf.... I got a text from.... Ms. Sparkle? Wat.]

[Oh that might be for me... Wut it be saying?]

[Uh.... Something about.... Luna, she hidin’ in the theater.... She bumping in with Ms. Spurkle... Oh shit spelt that wrong, Spurkle. Oh and shes trying to calm down Luna right now.... Twurlight spurkle.... Huh sounds funny when I say it out loud.]

I read the text and involuntarily said. “Twurlight Spurkle... Hehehehe it does sound funny when you say it out loud.”

I responded with. [Tell her help is coming!!]

[Bow chicka bow wow]

Then without a second thought I ran to the theater. After about 10 minutes of running I finally made it to the theater and panted for a moment till I opened up the door. “I.. *Pant* made it... Here... Ms. Sparkle.” I wheezed out.

“Not the athletic one are we?... Wait Slayer is that you?” Ms. Sparkle said. I could not help the fact that I said spurkle in my head when I saw her and I let out a quiet chuckle. “What are you laughing about? This is a serious matter! Princess Luna’s boy friend is nowhere to be found and you’re laughing!?”

“Um... Ms. Sparkle? I am Luna’s boyfriend...” I deadpanned. She just looked at me before shaking her head.

“Now is no time for jokes Slayer.” She said face hoofing.

And all of a sudden someone called me. Or Sparkle, since she was the one to pick up a phone out of her pocket....Fur...What?.... Ponies are weird sometimes.

“Hello this is Twilight speaking. How can I help you?” Twilight asked.

I heard a chuckle come from her phone. “Is Slayer there?” I managed to hear.

She slowly nodded before this unknown person or pony was explaining a shit ton of things to her... all in all five minutes worth of explaining. I was so bored that I sat down in the theater seat and waited until she hung up. “Well..... That was rather informal...” She said.

“May I ask who called and what it was about?”

“Well.... It was the school’s newest troublemaker....” She shuddered. “And … His marefriend....”

“Let me guess... Church?... And Celly?” she just nodded. “Right... What did they want?”

“They explained the situation to me and uh....” she shuddered again. “and made out during the phone call.”

“Yeah... That sounds like Church and Celly. So... Where is Luna?”

“Shes hiding in the corner behind some props on stage.” Ms. Spur- God damn it Church.

“Thanks... Oh and if you think that phone call was bad... Imagine living next to them.” I said walking by Ms. Spu- Sparkle. I walked up onto the stage and pointed to one direction. She shook her head and I pointed to the other. She nodded and I walked over. The stage had a simple design. It was a home at night. ‘How cheezy.’

I walked up to the prop door and knocked on it. “Luna?”

“GO AWAY TWILIGHT WE WISH NOT TO BE DISTURBED!!” She yelled nearly broke the props down. I swear I could hear Church chuckle from his dorm at Twurlight Spurkle. The damn name stuck harder than a infant to his or hers mother. I knocked again and this time I just opened up the door.

“WE SAID-... Slayer?” Luna said as I stepped in. She was apparently bawling while she was back here because her eyes were slightly red and a little puffy.

“Yeah... Are you okay Lu-Lu?” I said walking over. She just shifted away from me, but didn’t completely scoot away. I walked over and put a hand on her back. “Come on Luna what’s up?”

“What’s up? WHAT’S UP!?” Luna said beginning to raise her voice. “You walk away from us after we tell you something important and don’t so much as say wait here!!”

“Luna...” I gently said.

“We mean come on! It’s called common courtesy!” She continued

“Luna....” I said a bit sterner.

“WE JUST-” She began to use her canterlot voice.

“LUNA!!.” I yelled silencing her. “You are right. I should have at least said something than running off. I know that now. If it’s any consolation to you, Church and your sister trolled me pretty bad after I explained what was going on.”

She smiled somewhat and giggled. “What did they do?”

I shuddered and sighed. “I promise to tell you later, but guess what?” I said rubbing her back.

“Hmmm?” She hummed. I gave her a kiss and picked her up.

“We still have a double date to go to.” I said carrying her out of the prop house. She smiled and nuzzled into my shirt. I saw Twilight at the end of the stage and winked before nudging Luna. “You might want to change if I am gonna carry you back.”

She nodded and her horn glowed before she became smaller, her hair changed and that hoodie I gave her appeared. “Right... Back to the room!”

I ran to the end of the stage and jumped over Twilight’s head while she went “EEP!” and ducked. I chuckled at her reaction and opened the door with my back before yelling. “SEE YA NEXT WEEK MS. SPURKLE!.. Damn it Church....” I yelled and muttered.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

“So you’re saying.... That my sister pretended to be in heat... Just to prank you.” Luna summed up. I nodded. “You’re right. That is going to be hard to top.”

I nodded again before getting to Church’s dorm. “Yeah.... But I have a pretty good idea.” I said with a evil grin. I Looked to Luna before nodding to the door. She nods herself and opens the door with her magic. I walk inside and began to say. “Hey everyone I ho-.....Da fuq?”

What I saw was, Church who had gotten his shirt off... but at least had his pants on (Thank god) was on the couch making out with Celly... who was on top and had her wings fully erect. They didn’t seem to notice me and Luna because they were too busy getting it on...

“Right..... Time for a good old fashion... Cockblock.” I said setting Luna down. I walked over to the fridge and filled both my hands with ice before walking over. Quietly sneaking over, stopped right next to them and put one handful of ice on Celly’s backside and the other on Church’s stomach then jumped out of the way and watched the fireworks.

“HOOOOOOLY FUCK THAT’S COLD!” Church yelled as he broke the kiss with Celestia who basically had the same idea but more or less launched up herself of the couch and onto the floor.

“YES!! YOU JUST GOT COCK BLOCKED MOTHER FUCKER!” I yelled pointing to Church and Celly.

“Least I get some action, compared to a certain man called Slayer... Who seems to deny everything.” Church said as he stood up making all of the ice fall of his stomach.

“Yeah... But hey. I got a small part of my revenge.” I said grinning. “And I helped out Luna, so it’s a win-win for me!”

Church looked at me for a few seconds. “So you did a quickie?” he deadpanned.
I looked to Celly who had the same expression.

“Um... No...I am not going to take advantage of Luna while she is in heat.” I said deadpanning before walking over to the couch. “On second thought... I am not sitting on that.”

“Yeah... But you said, you ‘helped Luna’ what else could it mean?” Church said with a huge grin.

“Maybe, I don’t know, emotional help? Not everything is about you get’s laid the most.” I said walking over to a chair.

“So you are a virgin.” Church and Celly said at the same time. I looked at them both before nodding.

“Yep.”

“He’s a virgin....” Church said as he looked at Celly. “You are a fucking virgin... and you are what 18... 19... Hell soon 20. And you’ve not gotten laid once?” Church asked with a serious face.

“Didn’t I ever tell you about the fact that I am terrible with women?” I said.

“YOU HAVE A FREAKING PRINCESS AS A MAREFRIEND.” Church almost yelled.

“Point?” I said smiling as I sat down in the chair.

“Might want to get up. You are going to kill Lyra otherwise.” Church said “And my point is you my good sir can’t become like the movie 40 year old virgin.”

“That is never going to happen. The only way it could happen is if someone chopped my junk off.” I said standing up and picking up Lyra. “How long has she been asleep?”

“No fucking idea, she sleeps like a rock...” Church said. “Also you got no proof to back that up since you can’t score with your own girlfriend.”

“Really? You’re going to pressure me into having sex with Luna? Who has fainted from said topic?” I said pointing to Luna whom’s wings were at full extension and passed out on the floor.

“When the fuck did that happen?” Church asked confused. “Anyhow... Before I met Celly here I resorted to One night stands... Which were awesome thank you very much.”

“Well thanks, but no thanks. And I really didn’t need to know that.” I said turning to him. “Besides I can’t go on one night stands anyway.”

Church just sighed. “It’s like I’m arguing with a christian here... Except that he believes his religion is Virginity.... Virginity-ism...”

“Jesus you’re making a big deal out of this.” I said putting Lyra on the couch and sitting back down in the chair.

“Well it is, You are a virgin... which by typical means in this society is a bad thing... Somehow, and is supposed to be lost at the best possible time... Like now for example.” Church said

“So you want me to just throw my pants and shorts off and have sex right there on the coffee table?” I said pointing to the table.

“Not necessarily the coffee table, I usually eat there sometimes. But you can borrow my studio, Its sound proof so you can live out all your kinks there...” Church said with a shudder.

“For your information I don’t have any ‘kinks’. I am not so sure about Tia over there, but I am sure Luna is the same.”

“Really? Mind explaining why she keeps moaning your name like over and over in her sleep?” Church asked.

“Um... How about the fact that.. She is in heat?” I said.

“Was she that before you threw a cleat at my face?” Church asked again with a eyebrow raised.

“Um....”

“Yeah... Didn’t think so.... Also why are her wings erect? Wing boner that you gave her?” Church asked looking amused.

I looked over to the still passed out Luna. “We have been talking about sex for 20 minutes now... Look at Tia. Her wings are stiffer that an icicle in the north pole.”

“Yeah and my boner is still raging.” Church said with a un-amused expression

I rubbed my eyes under my glasses and sighed. “I really didn’t need to know that dude.”

When I looked back at Church I saw the biggest trollface in my life.

“Well I knew you wanted it.” He said with a weird tone.

“Ye- no.... Just no. Please leave me alone about this.” I said getting up and going to the fridge and pulling out a soda. “Besides it’s not like you’re gonna force me to do it. Then it would be rape.”

“Its not rape if their unconscious.” Church said with a sick smile. “Oh and if you keep stealing my soda at least you can give me one.”

“Right.” I grabbed another soda and tossed it to him. “ And you a sick sick sick man. I am not having sex with Luna while she is sleeping!”

“Hey I have another one! ‘It’s not rape if they don’t say no.’ yeah!” Church said before breaking into laughter.

“It’s also not rape if a man and his mare are locked in their room with no magic and are bound together.” I said sitting down in the chair again.

“What?” Church asked after he calmed down, he walked over and sat down on his couch and after that Celly laid down in his lap.

“So what is this? You two are just gonna hound me until I get laid?” I asked before taking a drink from my soda.

“Maybe.” Both Church and Celly said in unison.

“Oh sod off....” I said leaning my head back and rubbing my temples. “I am never gonna get some sleep now am I?”

“Nooope!” Church said. Then felt something weird, like a unknown weight on my lap as I opened my eyes I saw that Celly was sitting there with a huge evil smile on her face.

“Oh god.... Please get off.” I said

“Nu-uh.” Celly replied childishly with a evil smile.

“If you don’t move I am just going to stand.” I said not really caring anymore.

“And break my 100 dollar glass coffee table. Yeah, you do that.” Church said.

“Or I could just do this...” I said. I grabbed Tia by the waist and stood up so she was flopped over my shoulder. “Yeah.... I always have a plan. Not really.”

“The bedroom is there Slayer.” Church said pointing to his room.

“I am not going to banging Luna’s sister and your girlfriend.” I said putting Tia back on the couch next to Church.

“I’m pretty sure she kinda wants it.... Don’t you?” Church said looking at Tia.

“Maaaybe.” Tia said with a sultry voice.

“Am I just gonna have to go to my dorm to get some peace and quiet and a pony free lap?”

“I’m following.” Church said as he stood up and picked up his shirt. “Besides, I’ve got to see how Lyra’s room looks like.”

“You know as well as I do that damn pony has a sixth sense when it comes to her room.” I said just sitting back down.

“I really don’t. Besides, I’m going to carry her over there and see what happen when I open her door.” Church said with pretty much ‘what the hell could go wrong’ tone in his voice.

“You do that. I am just going to stay here and wait for Luna to wake up.”

“Your dorm. Your key.” Church said as he picked up Lyra. “And you got to open the door too.”

I just rubbed my eyes again and stood back up. “Fine... I might as well put Luna in a bed anyway.”

“Then get some action.” Church said almost laughing.

“Say it again and I will go down to the science lab and get some of those pills that put mare in heat and I will put fifty of the things into Tia’s coffee.” I said walking over and picking up Luna.

“Get some action? What?” Church asked confused with Lyra in his arms.

“Nevermind. Let’s just go.” I said opening his door and walking over to my dorm. I unlocked it before walking in and putting Luna on the bed in my room. “Okay you can come in and die by mint green death now.”

“Sure sure....” Church said as he walked into my dorm. He then walked over to Lyras door. “Well here goes.” He flung Lyra over the shoulder and grabbed the handle.

What I saw next was like something out of a horror/’suspense movie. Lyra had opened one eye up and flung herself off Church’s shoulder before getting between him and the door, hissing the entire time.

“Well at least I got her to wake up.” Church said disappointed. “Oh well, I’ll go play some Planetside 2 now.”

“Right..... And forget all this sex business!” I said going to my Xbox and turning it on.

“Hey Lyra!” Church said.

“Jesus christ you never stop do you?” I said walking over to my couch and flopping down.

Lyra calmed down and locked her room with her magic before walking over to the couch herself. “What?”

“Slayer is a virgin.” Church said with a evil smile. “Can you believe that?”

“Yes and no.” Lyra said scratching her chin.

“Exactly, and he refuses to bang Luna.... You should do him.” Church said looking at Lyra.

I just shook my head. “Great another one to join my toil of pain and misery.” I muttered.

“I don’t know.... He doesn’t seem like my type.” Lyra said smiling.

“Do a one night stand then. Albeit its going to be very fucking awkward afterwards since you both share the same dorm.” Church said shrugging.

“Yeah that’s not gonna happen.” I said starting up my game. “Please just stop this. I am not going to bang one of my friends. I am not going to bang Tia. And I am sure as hell not going to have a one night stand just to get laid.”

“Alright suit yourself.... But I’m not dropping the subject. You know double date and such.” Church said as he walked out of my dorm. I just sighed and rubbed my temples.

“I sense an awkward evening ahead of us... I am not going to enjoy this.” I said

Author's Note

A/N: Hey everyone this is just me saying.... There may or may not be some clop in the upcoming chapters. It’s all going to be optional-

The Alpha: CLOP CLOP MOT- I mean Clop that sounds intresting.

Right.... Well like I was saying it’s going to be optional and will not affect the story much. It’s just kind of a bonus. So yea.... If you don’t want the clop, just don’t read it. If you do... There you go.

The Alpha: Also, would you guys be a dear and go help Totalbiscuit win the Ultimate Empire Showdown? Cause I certainly will.

No shameless promotions alpha. Not since that blizzard incident.

The Alpha: I was not doing that, In fact I’m helping the king of the internet! Totalbiscuit!

Right... WELL GOOD NIGHT EVERPONY!!

The Alpha: VOTE FOR TOTALBISCUIT! Otherwise face my wrath when we roll over you with the might of the Terran Republic....

*Smack* No making death threat against the audience...

Chapter 18: Family and a CRAZY day.

Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Family and a CRAZY day.

A/N:Tad bit of grim dark later in the chapter, but don't worry it is for something completely different. ;)

I was sitting on my couch and thinking of how I was going to avoid the whole ‘Being a virgin’ thing. ‘It’s not that bad right?’ I thought as I got up and went to my fridge. I grabbed a drink before going back to my game and beginning up a match.

I was too busy thinking about Church had said that I hadn’t noticed that Luna was up and about. Also being engrossed in my game wasn’t helping all that much either. Apparently, she had been trying to get my attention because when my game ended the side of my face was slightly wet and Luna was laying on my lap. I had apparently thought she was just a arm rest and rested my game remote on her back while playing the entire game.

“Um.... Luna how long have you been there?” I asked looking at her. She just smiled and scooted back a bit so she could nuzzle me.

“Oh about ten minutes. We tried to snap thee out of it, but you weren’t being cooperative, so we just laid here and waited.” She said nuzzling me again. I smiled and rubbed her back. ‘Explains why my cheek is wet.’

“That is sweet. Wait.... Is your speech changing?” I said setting my remote down and grabbing my drink. “You sound different.”

“Yes.... We have been trying to adjust. We have mostly gotten the speech pattern down, but anything that deals with addressing our self just doesn’t seem to stick.” Luna said huffing a bit. I just chuckled and pet her mane a bit.

“Ah it’s fine. Adds character.” I said taking a drink from my soda and setting it down. “By the way.... Are you ready for tonight?”

“Yes. Pray tell.... Where are we going?” She asked looking up at me as I looked for another game match to play.

“I don’t know. Might just be like a movie then a dinner at a random place. My dad showed me a nice diner..... But I think that is too far away from everything.” I said scratching my chin. “I wouldn’t get too gussied up is I am trying to say I guess.”

“Alright... Seems rather informal.” Luna said letting out a adorable yawn.

“Yeah mostly. I guess that in the future you could get me in a fancy suit and treat you out.” I said smirking as she blushed and let out another yawn. “Why are you so tired?”

“Last day of our heat. It’s doesn’t make us ‘horny’, as Church would say, it makes us very tired though.” Luna said laying her head back down. I smiled and turned off my game, so I could just watch something on the tele and pet Luna’s mane.

“Luna?” I asked. She let out a small hum and opened one eye to look at me. “How in Equestria do you get your mane so freaking soft?”

She giggled sleepily and lifted her head so she could nuzzle my hand. “Very special mane products. Imported and specially made. Even the flowing of our mane is merely an enchantment of the shampoo.”

“Huh..... That explains a lot.” I said as picked up the remote and changed the channel to something. “Nick, no.... Cartoon network, no..... Dr.Who?.... Why not.”

As I watched the good doctor go through his crazy antics with his companion, I just let my mind roam and let my hands gently continue to comb through Luna’s mane, which she was enjoying because as soon as I stopped talking she passed out.

“What if... Naw... It’s not that big of a deal is it? Can’t be....” I said out loud. I guess Lyra was sick of me talking to myself so she decided to but in.

“What’s a big deal?” Lyra said walking in and sitting on the chair. I sighed and looked back to the T.V.

“Nothing.” I stated and leaned back.

“Oh come on. You can tell me!” Lyra said.

“No I can’t really. You’ll just tease me and then somewhere along the line text Brony and Hank about it before telling random classmates.” I responded looking to her. Lyra’s flattened her ears and pouted.

“I would not.” She muttered.

“Yes.... Yes you would.” I said looking back at my T.V. “Besides why do you want to know?”

“Because your my friend, and it may not seem like it but, I want to help!” Lyra said almost complaining.

I sighed and looked to her. She was still pouting and looking at me. “Fine fine! Enough with you and your confounded faces!” I said holding up a hand to block her pouting face which had returned to normal.

“Sweet! Now spill!” She said.

“Alright, but if you tell anyone or anypony I am going to flip out, okay?” I said warningly. She nodded and I sighed again. “Alright. You know how Church is just making a big deal about me not having gotten laid yet?”

She nodded. “Well I was just thinking about it... That’s it.” I said plainly.

“That’s it?” Lyra said sounding disappointed. I nodded this time. “Okay not only is this not that big of a deal, but you’re just worrying too much. I mean it’s not like you had chances before and didn’t take them.”

I shifted a little and chuckled nervously. “Yeah about that....”

“Of for the love of- Really?! Okay be truthful, how many times had it happened?” Lyra said leaning forward.

“Um..... Twice... Maybe three times.” I said using my free hand to rub the back of my head.

“Oh my gosh... That is bucking ridicuous.” Lyra said using a hoof to massage her temple. “Alright.... Alright alright, I am assuming you had a good reason each time?”

“First one no, last two yes.” I said thinking back. “First time was woman passed out on the way to the bedroom and the last two were family emergencies.”

Then as if to prove a point my phone beeped signaling a text. I looked at my pocket which had about a hundred pounds of Luna on top of it and me with no way to get to it. I sighed and gently lifted Luna a bit, so I could grab my phone and I gently laid her down after grabbing said phone. Checking my messages, I found myself a little confused.

“Um... Wow.” I said rereading the text. Lyra just tilted her head.

“What? What is it?” Lyra asked trying to lean over to see the message.

“It’s from my parents. Apparently.... I am getting a little bro.” I said looking up from my phone. “They are gonna be here later today to let me see him.”

“ Aren't you going to tell them you have a date later?” Lyra said while I shook my head.

“Do you know how rude that would be? I will just ask when they’ll be here and I will see if I can’t see him.” I said texting back just that. I soon got a reply and sighed in relief. “Oh thank god they will be here in thirty minutes..... WAIT WHAT!?”

My little outburst woke Luna up a bit, but she went back to sleep. I shook my head a little and then began to text back for details. After a few minutes, I had gotten most of the details.

“Alright so here is what is going on..... My parents found him wandering the streets. He was alone hungry and had no family. He didn’t like people or ponies regardless, but when my mom show him some affection he practically leapt at her.... And they don’t know what kind of pony he is.” I summed up.

“That sounds vaguely familiar... Like I have heard of something like that before.” Lyra said rubbing her head. “Like something that was here and then forcefully removed. Something..... Eeeeeeeevvvviiiiilllll.”

“I feel like you’re trying to tell me something, but what do I care? I am gonna get a new little bro too, I guess!” I said happily. Lyra just kept thinking about it until she got up and left to her room.

I just continued to watch Dr. Who until I began to get hungry. With my stomach growling, I gently lifted and wiggled out from under Luna. After grabbing a box of Hot Pockets and heating them, I walked back to the couch when I heard the door being knocked on.

“Come in! Door’s unlocked!” I yelled sitting back down next to Luna. She shifted a little bit before crawling onto my legs a little. As I began to eat the delicious meat and cheese filled bread, the door opened up and I saw my brothers, mom, and dad. “Hey guys! Food’s in the fridge if you want something to eat.”

They just chuckled and walked over before raising an eyebrow at me. I followed their gazes until I saw Luna snoring softly. I shook my head and flipped them off right as my mom looked at me and then I got scolded by said mother.

“You know I don’t like that.” She said walking over holding something in her arms. I just shook my hand and flipped my brothers off again while my mom wasn’t looking at me.

“Well.... Fine, but tell them to stop being mean to me!” I said throwing my arms in the air like a child. Luna just shifted a bit and gently swatted at me.

“Mmph no, we don’t want plasma with our hand grenade...” She said turning a bit before burying her muzzle into my shirt. My mom just let out a small d’aw and then let Luna go back to sleep before talking.

“Well would you like to see your new brother?” My mother said. I nodded and was about to get up until I looked down. “Oh right... Well here you go.”

She got up and walked over to me before showing me what was in her arms. At first I thought it was a giant bug, but when I looked closer, I saw a small pony-bug-holed legged-unicorn-thing.... Was odd to say the least.

“Alright other than the fact that he looks like a bug, he is adorable!” I said looking at him. The small guy just shifted a little before my mom began to hand him to me. “Wait wait I don’t want to ho-”

“Too late!” My mom said placing the little guy in my arms and I am not kidding when I say that I am already loving this little guy. I smiled while my mom smirked.

“Well what is he?” I asked. My mom was about to answer until Lyra ran out and yelled.

“A CHANGELING!! That was it-..... What is that?” Lyra said pointing to the little guy in my arms. I chuckled at Lyra’s random outburst and handed the little guy back to my mom. As she took him back, she walked over to Lyra and kneeled down to show her.

“Well this little guy...” My mom began as she showed Lyra the weird bug-pony-thing. “.. Is someone we found on the street and we decided to adopt him.”

Lyra took one look at the small guy and, Quite literally, flew into the wall behind her pointing a hoof at the small pony in my mother’s arms. “Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-CHANGELING...” Lyra finally said after pointing.

“Wut?” I said looking over to Lyra. Lyra just bolted past my mom and hid behind my back. ‘This.... Is very uncomfortable.’ “Um Lyra? Your horn is digging into my spine.”

She just shifted a little bit before looking over my shoulder at the changeling in my mom’s arms. ‘Da fuq is a changeling?’ I thought as I reached around my back and grabbed Lyra.

“Okay Lyra I don’t know what the hell you’re freaking out, but if you’re worried about him doing anything I have an argument that may help.” I said pulling her out and setting her next to me. “Two things actually. One: If he wanted to hurt anyone he would have done it by now.... And two:... He is just a kid.”

Lyra stopped and looked back at the changeling. He was only a kid because you could quite honestly tell. If his size didn’t tell you that he was probably only a year or two old, then the fact that his small insect wings and underdeveloped horn were present, that should be the clincher right there. ‘Then again I know nothing of these “Changelings”.’

Lyra looked for a few minutes before sighing and laying down on the couch. “I guess you’re right.... But I would be carefull. I still don’t trust those things.” Lyra said getting up and walking back to her room.

“Huh....” By big brother started. “... No racism my bipedal ass.”

We all burst into laughter for a few minutes until I thought I might as well get up. Plus my legs were starting to falls asleep. I moved Luna onto the couch before walking over to the fridge and grabbing another drink before opening it and chugging half the drink.

“Jeez Slayer. You really that thirsty?” he said as I put the drink down. I nodded and sipped at the rest of the soda.

“When you’re stuck under a pony all day with nothing to do other than play video games, you’re gonna get a bit dehydrated.” I said before walking over to the door.

“Hey where you goin’?” My brother asked as I opened the door.

“Well... A: I need to tell my friend. And B: I need to tell my friend.” I said as I walked out the door and knocked on Church’s door. “Church make your self decent! I am coming in!”

I heard scrambling behind the door. “Wait! WAAIT! TEASE IT! TEEEASE IT!” I heard Church yell.

“Da fuq?” I said as I opened the door and walked in. “Church what the hell are yo-...”

“HOLY SHIT IT WORKED!” Church exclaimed as he dropped one of his controllers staring wide eyed on at the T.V. I blinked and walked over.

“What worked, exactly?” I said nudging him with my elbow.

“Check the score screen.” Church said as he turned to me with wide eyes. “Just look at it.”

I looked to the scoreboard on the screen and saw that he had 43 Kills and only 1 death. “Nice. But why are you so wide-eyed? And where is Tia? I have something I need to tell you guys.” I said looking around.

“Oh why I’m wide eyed? Triple kill in less than two seconds? Oh and Celly went back to the castle. She doesn’t have time for Ol’ Churchy no more.... Actually she had business to attend to.”

“Ah....” I said leaning back. “Well Want to come meet my new lil’ bro?”

“That reminds me.... Does the dorm’s allow dogs?” Church asked rasing a eyebrow.

“I don’t think so, but who gives a crap? My teacher Fluttershy has like fifty of the animals. I am sure you could ask her for one or something and she would just tell whoever asked that it was a project. She is really sweet like that.” I said smiling and finishing off my soda.

“Oh goodie! Hey Slobber puss! You can stop hiding!” Church yelled towards his room.

“Slobber puss?” I said looking to his room. “Who the hell is Slobber puss?”

“Oh its my dog.” Church said as he looked towards his room, after a few short seconds a dog came trotting through. By the looks of it its a siberian husky.

“Huh..... Why am I not surprised?” I said looking to Church.

“Come here girl!” Church said as he patted his lap. At first the dog sat down and tilted her head at him. But then she practically leaped at him before laying down in his lap. “Well... That depends, come sit beside me in the couch.”

“Alright...” I sat down next to him and leaned back. “Okay now what?”

“Attack!” Church said to his dog who just got up out of his lap and launched itself at me before starting to lick my face.

“AUGH!!! I am being molested by the dog!!!” I yelled as tried to get Slobber off me with little to none success. Church laughed at me before saying

“Oh by the way, Slobber puss is just a nickname.... Since.... Uh yeah... She drools a lot when she is affectionate.... Her real name is Sita.” Church said with a huge grin on his face.

“I can see that!” I said finally pushing Sita off me. “That was.... Not what I expecting when I came over here to get you.”

I took part of my shirt and wiped the saliva off my face before sighing. “So you want to see my little bro or what?”

“Huh? You got a little bro all of a sudden?” Church asked surprised and confused.

“Hey look I am as confused as you, but he is pretty cool.” I said standing up. “Come on I’ll show ya!”

Church sighed and got up. He then looked down at Sita who was just sitting there and panting happily.

“Weeeell? What are you waiting for Slobber? Move.” Church said as he looked down, Sita just sat there with what I would call a giant evil grin on her face. Church sighed out of annoyance before bending down and picking her up.

“Come on lets go.” Church said a little bit annoyed

“Alright, but before we go let me just warn you.... He is not exactly what you’re going to be expecting.” I said walking out the door and opening up my dorm. “Pretty much don’t freak out.”

“Okay...” Church said as he carried Sita and himself over to me “I mean it can’t be all that bad right?”

“Yeah keep that thought in mind.” I said as I walked in and sat back on the couch next to Luna, who just crawled back into my lap. “Hey mom would you mind showing my friend, Church, there my new little bro?”

She nods and walks over and shows him the bundle in her arms. “Here he is!” Mom said happily.

Church looked at the bundle before getting his face full of saliva. “Oh come on.” He said as he looked at Sita in his arms, he then put her down on the floor. She started whining for a few seconds before trotting over to my couch, jumped up on it, and curling up.

“Well... Let’s see what you have in your arms miss...?” Church started

“Broman.” Mom replied. “And just call me mom. Everyone does.”

“This.... Is going to be awkward as fu-” Church again started.

“Church.... Language around my mom.” I said quickly as I ran my hand through Luna’s mane..

“Okay....” Church said as he took a deep breath. “This is going to take all of my restraints to handle but... Here goes.” He looked down at the small bundle in my mom’s arms. He was quiet for a few seconds before asking

“What is that?” Church said with a clear look of confusion on his face. “It looks like..... Black stuff?” ‘*Snicker* Racist.’ I thought.

I face palmed at Church while my mom just giggled and held out the bundle. “Hold this for me and I will get him out so you can see him better.”

“Hoookay. If you say so …. Miss broman.” Church said with some strain in his voice. She just smiled and handed him the blanket before reaching into it and pulling out the small insect-po-... Changeling and showing him.

“There. Now can you see him?” She said holding the little guy like a puppy.

Church just stared at the in-... Changeling before blowing air into his mouth causing his cheeks to inflate. He held his stare for a few seconds before throwing his arms in the air and running out of my room repeating some weird gibberish “Wubidywuubwob!” could be heard from down the hall before he turned around.

He came sprinting back and popping his head through the door “He’s cute and all... but not for me, SITA LETS GO!” Church said as he gave out a small whistle. Sita just got up from the couch and ran after Church.

We all stood there confused for a while before Church came through with a bag through the door.

“Church what the hell is wrong with you?” I asked as Luna just shifted a bit before snoring lightly again.

“It looked …. Creepy at first glance, and my instinct told me to run... So I did.” Church said as he put down the bag on the counter and took out some food.

“Riiiiight...... Still. That was a bit of... I don’t know what.” I said getting up. “What the heck are you doing now?”

“Taking out my food?” Church said as he held a white foam container in his hands and looking at me. “There is some for you too....”

“Um.... K? I think some of my brain cell commited suicide because of that little scene of yours.” I said walking over while my mom was just cooing at the little guy. “Hey mom have you thought of a name for him?”

“Actually. We have! I though of a few names, but Rhino over there had to say ‘No! They have to be a pony name!’.” Mom mocked as I saw my brother blush a bit. “So we tossed around a few more names and we came up with Evo!”

“Evo....” I said looking at ‘Evo’.”I like it. How about you Church?”

“Isn’t Evo short for Evolution?” Church said as he had narrowed his eyes and holding a french fry in the air, inspecting it.

“Um.... I guess so. Why?” I said opening up one of the containers to see a Bacon Burger with some fries next to it. “Where did you find a bacon burger?”

“Haven’t you noticed right after you exit the courtyard through the main gate. Look directly to the right and you can see both a convenient store and a restaurant.... Oh and a bar, except that place is like opposite side of the place.” Church explained as he gave a fry to his dog.

“Huh..... Well I ain’t complaining.” I said taking a bite out of the burger and enjoying the taste of bacon, beef, and whatever else was put on it. I swallowed my food and looked to my mom. “But yes mom. That is a great name.”

“Wonderful! Because you will be babysitting tonight!” She said while I choked on my food. I turned around quickly and almost glared at her.

“WHAT!?” I damn near screamed. “I can’t do that tonight! I have a date planned!” I saw that Church were sneakily trying to exit my dorm with his foam container and dog. “Oi! You get back here!”

“Damn it.” Church muttered as he turned around and walked back to his seat.

“Yeah you better stay there....” I turned back to my mom. Have I ever told you guys about how my mom can be a ninja when she wants to? Because when I looked at her she had already placed Evo in my arms and was walking out the door with my bros. “Wait mom! MOM!!..*Slam*... FUCK. Damn my mother and her ninja skills.”

I looked to back and saw that Church was no longer sitting there. “Oh for crying out loud.”

“Church get back here.” I said to no one particular. “I need some help here.”

I heard a faint panting coming from the my room. “Son of a....”

I just walked over and opened my door to see a tail sticking out from under the bed. “Church..... Get out of there.”

“Ssssch Quiet Slo- No no stop it! Stop! You will make him discover us!” Church whispered through quiet laughs.

I shook my head and looked down at Evo. He had curled up and was using one of his little legs to grab my arm. ‘D’aaaw..... Hmm.... Maybe?’ I thought as I walked to the back of the bed and knelt down. “Well I guess he isn’t here.... Maybe he left with my ma. It’s a good thing that I left Arrowhead under my bed.... Maybe I should consider feeding him. Naw I am sure he’ll find something to eat.”

As soon as I finished that I heard load of scrambling before both Sita and Church were on my bed. Church was gripping his chest where his heart would be he looked to me and said “Fuck you.”

“Next time don’t leave when I need help.” I said with a shit eating grin. Arrow actually was under the bed, unsurprisingly, and he slithered up my pant leg and onto my shoulder. “I love snakes. Anyway, I need some help here.”

“I hate babysitting!” Church said and got a happy bark as a agreement from his dog. “See even Sita here hates it!”

“Look, I will do all the babysitting all you have to do is sit there and do nothing.... You know. Like usual.” I said walking back into the living room.

I then heard bouncing.... like someone bouncing on my bed. “Stop jumping on my bed! I don’t want the mattress ruined.” I said as I sat on the couch again.

“But I waaant to jump!” Church whined as he kept jumping, after a short while a bark came too.

“Church! I am babysitting my bro, not you!” I yelled causing Luna to wake up a bit.

“What is with all the yelling?” She said burying her head into the cushions.

I heard some faint whispering after the bouncing stopped. ‘Those two are planning something.’

“Okay if you two aren’t out of their in two minutes I am dragging you out.” I said putting Evo next to Luna. Luna just put a wing over him reflexively and went back to sleep. “Come one you two! Come on out!”

All of a sudden I saw something white zip quickly through the door and I felt something crash into my chest. With almost no air in my lungs all I could get out was.

“Ow....” I noticed how wet my face was getting... From a certain dog.

“That’s a good doggie!” Church said as he walked over and sat down next to his dog before scratching her behind the ears.

“I can’t breath.” I said gasping a bit before pushing Sita off me. “You better hope I don’t become sadistic enough to actually sick Arrowhead on you.” I said. Arrow just hissed to prove my point.

“That’s cruel man.” Church said as we suddenly had a loud bark and then growling from his dog, who looked extremely aggressive.

“Oh.... Well Might as well let go of Sita now, I mean she don’t see your snake as a threat right now... So she won’t attack at all.” Church said with sarcasm in his voice

“Yeah yeah. Whatever..... Hey you’re leaning against Luna you know that right?” I said sitting back up.

“Yeah she can take it.” Church said with a sick smile on his face.

“Yeah.... get off her. You’re also leaning against Evo.” I said pointing to the littel black holled leg sticking out from under Church.

“Hooo.... That’s uh... bad “ Church said as he stopped leaning against Luna and walked over to sit next to his dog. I rolled my eyes and lifted Luna’s wing and picked up Evo. He stretched a bit before sighing and curling up again.

“He’s fine. Now I need to ask you something..... Do you know anything about changelings?” I asked as I put Evo in my lap.

“Other than what the royal archives got?” Church asked back

I let out a fake gasp and stared at Church. “YOU READ!? Fascinating.” I said placing a hand on my chin.

Church let out a laugh before looking at me with a small smile “Oh you know me... How otherwise could I solve my math problems?”

“Copying other people?” I suggested with a grin.

“That does not count!” Church shot back with a fake pout.

“Oh pshaw.... Anyway, you know about changelings?” I said looking to him before looking back to Evo.

Church got up and walked over to me before pulling out a small tablet from one of his pockets. He then pressed a App that said Equestrian archives. It requested a login which he quickly typed in and when finally started up the app it said ‘Welcome back Church, what would you like to edit today?’

“Wait, how can you edit things in that app? I thought you needed to be the creator for that. Or a moderator.” I asked Church who just gave me a deadpanned look.

“Have you tried reading who created it?”

“Nnnnnope!” I said grinning.

He quickly pulled up a list of credits and sure enough Under the creator label was Lenoard Alpha.
He kept staring at me for a few seconds and grinned like a fool.

“When did you have the time or patience to do this?” I asked as I saw Evo waking up.

“Oh you know.... When someone thought it would be funny to lock me inside the archives for two days.” Church said glaring at me.

“Hey you stole my Dr. Pepper. I told you I was having a bad day. AND I already said I was sorry!” I said watching Evo yawn and stretch.

“Anyways here.” Church said as he handed me the tabled who had a article open about Changelings. “Oh and keep the tablet. I have a spare one in my room somewhere. I’ll find it.”

“Um... Thanks. Now! Time to read!” I said as I began to study the article. Evo was too busy looking around to notice me while I read and since I was so engrossed in my reading I didn’t notice him hopping off my lap and onto the floor. “Huh..... Ew... They make cocoons? Like spiders? Ugh Church is not going to like that.”

“Hmm” Church groggily hummed as he looked around “You said something?”

“Huh? Oh nothing nothing.... Wait why are my legs cold?” I looked down and saw Evo was gone. “Oh Evo is gone.... WAIT EVO IS GONE!?”

“What the fu-” Church said as he nearly shot up out of the chair he had fallen asleep in but kept himself down since his dog were in his lap. “What the fuck man?! Stop with the yelling! I mean you woke up Luna!”

“We thought we said to stop the yelling. But thou apparently likes to disregard our requests.” Luna said groggily and rubbed one of her eyes.

“Luna I can’t calm down!! I can’t fin-...” I stopped when I felt something bump into my legs. I looked down to see Evo sitting on his haunches looking up at me. “OH thank god...”

I picked him up and Luna just looked at me curiously. “Oh sorry. My mom apparently thought it would be a good idea to adopt a pony and then leave him with me.I get very protective sometimes.” I shrugged and sat on the couch while Luna stared at Evo.

“Slayer.... Why doth Thou have a changeling in thee’s arms?” Luna said looking as if she was about to freak out. I scooted back a bit and looked at Evo before looking back to Luna

“Well... He is who my mum adopted. She found him wandering the streets and took him in. Decided I would be a good babysitter.” I explained. Luna just stood up and walked over to the door before saying goodbye and teleporting away. “..... Da fuq that was about?”

And again, I looked to my right and saw that Church was no longer there nor his dog. “Mother fu-... CHURCH! Get in here! I really need an explanation!” I yelled towards my room. “AND STOP JUMPING ON MY BED IF YOU’RE DOING IT!”

I heard some loud whispering “Sita! How the fuck did we manage to get in here?” there was a quiet whine as a reply... It came from the kitchen area. “Damn it Church. Seriously! Get in here! Luna did that weird thing were she goes all quiet and leaves.”

“Shit! Has he discovered us?” Church quietly asked Sita. Who just licked Church’s face instead.

“No I di- Stop it! it tickles damn it.” Church said quietly..

“Church get out here or next time Tia makes a advancement on me, I will plunder her booty.” I said staring at the kitchen.

All of a sudden I heard lots of pots, and other things that were in my cupboards fall out. “But I thought you were a virgin!” Church said as he stood up quickly with a horrified expression on his face.

“What’s with the face?” I said pointing at him.

“Slobber puss.” Church said as he looked down at Sita.

“Ah... To answer your question, Yes, but that don’t mean I can’t do it.” I said grinning evilly.

“Well thats funny... You can’t even make a move on Luna!” Church said as he picked up Sita.

“Hey you said it yourself to do a one night stand to get laid.” I said while shrugging.

“Well.... wait.” Church said as he put down his dog and whiped out his phone “Jello?”

“May I inquire whom is calling you at this hour?” I said in a british accent.

“What was that? Shield... your.. ey-” Church said before a loud crack and a flash appeared in the middle of my room. There stood Luna and a rather angry looking Tia.

“Care to explain Slayer?” Tia said with venom dripping of her words. I gulped slightly and gave nervous chuckle.

“Um... Explain what exactly?” I said shaking a bit.

“Oh.... I don’t know, maybe the fact that you are HARBORING A CHANGELING? Does that make any sense?!” Tia yelled furiously as she walked closer to me.

“U-uh... W-well that is easy to explain.” I said backing up a bit.

“WELL? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!” Tia yelled using her Royal Canterlot voice.

I whimpered slightly and sat up. “W-well you see... My mom was walking around with my family when she saw this little guy cowering. She helped him and then brought him over here. She introduced us and let Evo in my care until she came back.” I said shivering like crazy now and holding onto Evo for my dear life.

“He should be banished back to the Hive!” Tia said as she almost was up in my face. Then Church, of all the people decided, to intervene.

“Celestia, calm the fuck down!” He yelled as he put a hand on her shoulder. She immediately spun around and faced him.

“Calm down? CALM DOWN?! HOW COULD I CALM DOWN?! WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING UNTIL I HEAR FROM MY BABY SISTER!” Tia yelled at Church.

“What the fuck?! NOW YOU’RE SHIFTING THE BLAME TO ME?!” Church yelled back. I began to get pissed myself, but for a entirely different reason than those two. You see I have this small fear of yelling. Not like when ever anyone yells I freak out, but when family and friends yell. I snap.

“OKAY BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.” I yelled standing up and facing both of them with my eye slightly twitching.

They both faced me at the same time before Church backed up a bit and holding up his hands.
Tia just glared furiously at me. I just glared back and walked up to her.

“Tia I don’t give a five fingered firey flying fuck about what you have against changelings, but I am telling you now. You try and touch Evo... I am going to hurt you.” I said glaring even harder than before. “So if you want to ‘banish’ him then go ahead, but you’re gonna have to get through me first.”

Just as I finished that sentence, I felt myself getting pushed back... Very quickly until I landed in the arms of Luna.

“Get out of my face.” Tia growled before facing Church again who was standing with his back against the wall and was leaning.

“Got anything to say for yourself?!” Tia growled at Church who just took out his phone.

“Its way too fucking early for this. It’s almost past fucking midnight. I’m out! Come girl” Church said as he whistled a bit before storming through the door with Sita.

“Nice Church... Nice.” I mumbled before walking to my room still holding onto Evo with a death grip. “I am taking a lesson from him and going to bed. Goodnight you two.”

“Come on Luna, let’s go.” Tia said with a dissapointed sigh.

“Tia...” I said turning around.

“What?” She growled “You going to throw us out now?”

“Actually I was going to say there is a spare room and the couch, but......” I answered scratching the back of my head.

“You know what... I do feel pretty tired, I’m borrowing your couch then.” Tia said as she walked over to my couch.

“Um... Alright then. I was going to also say you could take my bed.... I guess that works too.... Night.” I said waving and walking back to my room. “Hey Luna you gonna join me?”

Luna looked at Tia before nodding and walking over to me. I smiled as she walked into my room and I looked to Tia whom was still giving me the evil eye. I sighed and walked over to her and sat in the chair next to her.

“Tia... Why are you so pissed off?” I asked as I kept my grip on Evo.

“Because you are harboring a changeling?” She scowled “And that Church is a deserter.”

“Well I understand Church. But not the other thing. I am not going to really ask because I have the awful feeling it would end up with me in the hospital, but I am going to suggest something alright?” I said shifting in my seat a bit.

“What?” She growled.

“Well first drop your four year old pissy attitude....” I said receiving another growl. “And I am going to make you a deal. I am going to leave Evo in here with you-”

“Yeeah?” Tia said a bit passive angry

“And I want you to watch him and play with him while I sleep. When I wake up I will come back and get him. If by the time I come to get him you still think that he should be ‘banished’ then fine. I will tell my mother that she has to give up her child and you can take him. Deal?”

“Fine.” She said before burying her head in the cushion.

“Oi.... You have to watch him.” I said before, reluctantly, putting Evo next to her. “Oh and I forgot to mention. If he is gone when I wake up... You are going to have something bad coming after you. And no it’s not a threat..... It’s a fucking promise.”

I gave her a smile and went back to my room before walking in and laying next to luna.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Tia’ P.O.V.)

‘Stupid little runt.’ I thought as I felt the disgusting creature press against me. I moved it away with my hoof and layed my head back down. It just kept coming back though. ‘Never gonna get sleep am I?’

I sat up and saw the small creature just staring back up at me. I just shook my head and used a little magic to put him on the chair next to the couch. “What does he even see in you? You’re an insect for Luna’s sake. A disgusting, love sucking, wretched insect.”

“Gwaaah!” Evo said as he held up his fore-hooves and wanted a hug from me.

“No, you little cretin.” I said to him and turned him around with magic.

He quickly turned around and held up his fore-hooves with a smile on his little tiny incest face.
“Bllrrpp.”

I turned back to him and shook my head. “NO. I know what you are doing.” I said moving away from him. “You’re just trying to steal my love and news flash Evo... I don’t love you.”

“Honk.” Evo blurted out as he pressed with both of his fore-hooves against his nose. It was actually almost enough to get a giggle out of me, but I threw out the impulse and turned away from him.

“Stop. Just go to bed you little... Word.” I said trying not to use any bad language. ‘I must stop picking up Church’s habits.’

“Nyaaaah.” Evo said as I felt something at my side. I looked down and saw him pressing his hooves against my side while he was smiling.

“No. Get away.” I said pushing away and scooting towards the other side of the couch.

“Meeeh!” Evo cried out as I scooted away, he crawled towards me with a half distressed look on his face.

“No. Stay away from me, you insect.” I hissed at him and pushed him away.

“Gnaaah!” He cried out even louder as he crawled towards me again.

“I said to stop!” I growled and pushed him back to the other side of the couch. “How did you even get off the chair anyway!?”

Thats when evo jumped and floated for a few brief seconds with his little wings fluttering rapidly before landing in front of me.

“Oh. Still stay away before I squish you like a fly.” I threatened and pushed him away again. But this time he grabbed on and snuggled in on my foreleg. “No get off!”

I shook my leg for a few minutes to try and get him off, but didn’t succeed. He was stuck there like glue and was laughing. “Let go.” I hissed at him.

“Myaaah!” He squealed out before looking up and smiling at me.

“What is wrong with you!? You don’t even act like a changeling!” I said using my other hoof to push him off. “Why do you insist on being near me?”

“Bleh.” He said as I saw he had some fur on his tongue and he obviously did not like the taste. He held out his tongue at me.

“Stop that!” I said as I tried to suppress a giggle. “Why do you even have fur in your mouth!?”

On closer inspection I saw that it was white fur. “Were you eating my hoof?” I said looking to see a small patch of fur was gone from the edge of my hoof.

“Bleeh!” He said again as he held out his tongue at me

“What do you want me to do?” I said leaning my head down to look at him properly.

He then took a fore-hoof and pointed at his tongue. He then took his hoof and pressed it against my nose.

“Boop” He said before going back to “Bleeh!”

I shook my head and used a little magic to clear the fur from his mouth before leaning back up and sighing. “Now may I sleep?”

“Mmh!” Evo said with half closed eyes and was lying near my leg.

“Oh you want to sleep next to me?” I said laying down and looking at him.

There was a light snore from Evo. ‘The bug fell asleep on me.’ I thought. I lifted him up and put Evo onto the chair before getting comfortable. With a sigh, I began to fall asleep. Before I could actually sleep, I was awoken by a high pitched whine. I lifted my head and saw Evo was shaking on the chair while whimpering ever so slightly. I shook my head and buried my head back into the cushions. ‘You don’t care.... He is a changeling. You don’t care...’ I thought, but sadly my instincts would not let me leave him there.

With a reluctant sigh, I levitated him over to my side and draped part of my wing over him. He almost instantly stopped shivering and even somewhat snuggled into my side. I stared at him for a while before realizing that I was smiling. ‘...... Oh bugger me.’ I thought as I knew what was going to happen in the morning.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Slayer’s P.O.V.)
(Morning)

I stretched and yawned as I looked around. Luna was laying by my side and smiling with snoring softly. I shook my head and got out of bed before grabbing some clothes and heading towards my bathroom. After a quick shower and changing into my jeans and blue T-shirt, I walked over to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine.

“Wait what am I doing?... I don’t drink coffee.” I said I shook my head before walking out of my dorm and over to Church’s dorm before knocking. “Church! I made coffee!”

I waited before knocking again. “Come on! I know you are in there!”

I had a weird feeling that something was terribly wrong. My hand hovered over the handle before I put my hand on it and opened the door, which was surprisingly unlocked.

“Church... I swear to god if you have Sita waiting for me, I am going to pour the coffee onto your crotch.” I said walking inside. I looked around and found no one, the kitchen was clean.

The living room was empty with a controller dropped on the floor, The studio was off.... That means, I rushed over to the his room and flung the door open. It was empty and the bed was made from yesterday.

“Okay what da fuq is going on?” I said looking around. I back out and saw a note on the coffee table.... Which I did not notice before. “Huh.... Why am I blind?... Oh yeah.”

I hesitated to open this one because of all the bad memories I’ve had opening unknown notes. I gently opened the note and began to read.

Dear Slayer. Or whoever the fuck opened this note.

This is Church, You know your old trusty pal, Yeah... I’m Currently on the road somewhere or in the woods... Don’t bother contacting me I left my phone here at my dorm, I took Sita and just went for a walk.... For a week or Two. Oh and If I don’t come back you get my loot.

P.S. Tried to take my life, Just couldn’t do it with Sita watching.
P.P.S Take care of my dorm! It’s a Treasure! Yarr!

“Greeeeeeeeat. I thought we fixed that shit.” I just folded up the note and put it in my pocket before walking back to my dorm and locking up Church’s dorm. I walked over to Tia, who was sleeping with Evo curled up underneath her wing. I smiled evilly and grabbed my phone before taking a picture. After getting my photo I tapped her on the wing.

“Tia wake up...” I said gently.

“Noooo.” She cooed in her sleep.

“Tiiiia...” I said shaking her a bit. “Come on get up.”

“Whaaat? Get away Slayer.” Tia said as she waved a dismissive hoof.

“Tia get up or I will do something drastic.” I said crouching down.

Celestia slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes. “What is it Slayer?”

“Well A: Church is gone and thought you might want to go find him. And B:..... I won.” I gave her a shit-eating grin before picking up Evo.

“What was A, again?” Tia asked as she yawned a bit.

“Church is gone... Here is his note.” I pulled it out and put it next to her. “I would go find him. If I had to guess.... Look at the nearest club or somewhere that he might enjoy. I made coffee by the way.”

That’s when Lyra burst through the dorm door. “Church has left Canterlot! I mean really left!”

“And you know this how?” I asked going to the kitchen.

“I saw him stand and talk to one of the guard gates.... I thought he just was going to take a walk around the mountain like he always does.... But when he did not come back after thirty minutes I knew something was wrong... So I asked the guard and she said he was leaving for good.” Lyra said a bit saddened.

“And things just get worse....” I say facepalming. “Okay fuck this. I am getting my coat and YOU-” I say pointing to Tia. “-Are going to help me find him. I swear that guy is gonna give me a heart attack.”

I walked over to the coat rack and grabbed my trench coat before walking over to Tia. I handed Evo to Lyra and sighed. “Just say I left and went to go help someone. Alright Tia let’s go.”

Tia was sitting there with tears in her eyes before saying “This is all my fault.”

“OH just shut up with the pity party.” I said walking over and helping her up. “Crying isn’t going to help get him back. Now let’s go.” I said nudging her. “Now come on... Commence with the teleporting.”

She teleports us and we land on some dirt road while I fall to the ground and retch. After a minute of gagging and dry heaving, I finally get up and begin to walk. “Okay I after this... I am never teleporting again.” I said putting a hand on my stomach. “Okay come on. Let’s go find Church.”

We began to walk along the road and to be honest, if I wasn’t trying to find my depressed friend, I would be enjoying the scenery. As we walked for a few more minutes, I found a few dusty tracks.

“Okay either those are shoes or something is just trying to fuck with us.” I said pointing to the tracks. “So either we are getting closer or.... Or.. is that a town?”

I pointed over to a small town in the distance and sighed. “I swear to god Church... If you are just chilling somewhere..... I am going to hurt you.”

We continue to walk and Tia changes herself into a white pegasus with a pink mane. As we arrive at the town, you can almost feel the town’s cheeriness seeping out of the road and walls of the town.

“Where..... Are we?“ I asked.

“Ponyville.... Where most of your teachers live.... During the holidays.” Celestia answered.

“Oh god that means....” I start before I am tacked by a rainbow blur. “MOTHER FUCK!! My spleen!!”

Ms. Dash was just laughing as I groaned and picked myself up. “Ow.... Why me?”

“Because Church managed to dodge it.” She said.

“Oh really? Did he also do..” I leaped and tackled her into the snow. “THAT!?.... Wait you saw Church?”

“Oh yeah. He’s on top of the library, He have built some small platform up there and is sitting up there with a huge umbrella and a sun chair... Oh and a table too.... With a dog...”

“That... MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!.” I yelled before getting up and running into town before stopping. I slumped and walked back and leaned against the wall. “Can you show me where that library is?”

“Uh sure.... Follow me.” Ms. RD said before flying ahead a bit.

“Right. Come on Sunny!” I said gesturing to Tia. Ms. Dash led us around for a bit until we finally found the library. “A giant tree..... A giant..... Tree. Is the library... That is so cheesy.”

I heard barking from on top of the tree “Stop it Slobber puss!”

“And there is my friend. Hey Ms.Dash can you give me a lift? I need to kill my friend.” I said looking up.

“Kill him? why?” Ms. Dash said looking confused.

“Because that jerk made me and his marefriend worry about him like crazy and here he is relaxing in a tree.” I said grinding my teeth a bit. Ms. Dash just shrugged and grabbed my hands before flying me up and onto the tree platform. She gently let me go and I landed with a small *Thud*

“Church... I am going to kill you.” I said as I stood up.

Before I could see him though I saw his dog sit there with a huge evil smile on her face.”Sita..... No. Don’t you dare.” I said pointing a finger at her.

But since she doesn’t listen to anyone but Church she jumped at me and drooled all over my face.

“AUGH SITA SPIT!!!” I yelled as I pushed the dog off me and wiped my face off. “Your evil Sita...”

Then I saw that Church was standing on a plank that was over deep snow... and he was facing us.

“Hi guys!” He said in a cheery voice.

“Churchy!” Tia aka Sunny said almost crying her heart out right there. But right before she tackled him he sidestepped.

Tia fell right down into deep snow and probably was freezing her ass off. “Church! YOU FUCKER.” I said as ran towards him and tried to tackle him, but I made the mistake and bent down in waist level. So he just did a leap frog over me.
I skidded to a stop right at the edge and waved my arms out. “Woah woah!! Okay... Better.”

“Aaaand Push!” Church said as he pushed me.

“Augh!” I began to fall. “Shit shit shit YOU FUCK!!” Then I fell right into the snow pile. I climbed out and shook myself free of the snow and shivered a bit. “Church I am goin’ to-”

“Backflip!” Church said as he did a backflip down into the snow. after he landed it took ten seconds before he came up and yelled. “BEST VACATION EVER! Lets get Hank and Brony, Lyra and Luna here!” He quickly climbed out of the snow and shook of the snow.

I shook my head and punched the wall of the library before pulling it back and going. “Aaaah... BAD IDEA.... Bad. Idea....” I clutched my hand and watched as Church walked over. “Church.... Guess what?”

“Sick backflip I know!”

“Nope... More like-” I walked over and punched him as hard as I could in the arm. “YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE.”

“Ouuuuuuuuch!” Church said as he gripped his arm before laughing his ass off. “Oh man! Still best vacation ever!”

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” I grabbed him by the shoulders. “A hour ago I picked up a note saying you tried to kill yourself and now you’re laughing like a maniac while going nuts!!!”

“I had a change of heart!” Church said in a laugh. “And decided to live for a while. I’ve been cooped up in my dorm for too long! It’s time to live a little.”

“Then... Why didn’t you just say so?” I said with my eyes twitching spastically.

“Because then you would never agree to come here. I mean face it, you would have wanted to go to a tropical Island or something, It was the only way I could lure you here!” Church said with a huge grin on his face. “Oh and uh, I have some soda up there.” He said pointing to a ladder leading up.

I let my hands drop as my eyes just weren’t working now. I just put my hands together and sighed. “Church.... If I don’t knock myself out I want you to make sure I don’t bleed out okay?” I said as I walked over to the tree and slammed my head into the side of it. “FUCK!...*WHAM* FUCK! *WHAM* FUCK!”

“Looks painful! Do you want extra headache with that?” Church joked. I walked over and grabbed him shoulder before attempting to headbutt him too... But he just again sidestepped. Causing me to miss and stumble down into more snow.

“I give up.... Although I think I have a concussion.... But I give up.” I said as I got out of the snow and sat down. “This.... Your still a douche bag.”

I rubbed my head and closed my eyes. “Tell you what, I’ll repay you sometime.” He said.

“How on god’s green earth are you gonna repay making me and Tia worry about you like crazy and making us come all the way out here?” I said a little angry.

“How about a.... Gaming rig? Oh and Tia you can drop the act now.” Church said looking towards me before Celestia clinged to him looking at me with a huge grin.

“Oh FUCK. BOTH OF YOU.” I said getting up. “FUCK IT... I am getting a cab and I am out of here.”

I got up and began to walk away while brushing all the snow off my shoulders. “YOU’RE BOTH ASSHOLES.”

“Oh don’t be that way, We can get your marefriend here in a few seconds! Same for the other guys!” Church said.

“Tha’s not what this is about!!” I said turning around. “I just want to go home... Just smoething to eat. And go back to sleep.“

“You can do that in the library, I’ve gotten us more than 6 beds in there... Two queen sized... Dunno how.” Church said as he looked at the tree.

I rubbed the bring of my nose and just turned back around. “I am going back home. Deal with it.”

“No you are not.” Tia said before grabbing me with magic and tossing me down into deep snow again.

“Seriously? You pull something like that and then don’t let me go home? Now you really are just being cruel.” I said getting out and brushing off the snow.

“We were cruel from the beginning anyways.... So stop?” Both Tia and Church said in unison.

“Still leaving. See ya back at the school.” I said walking off to find a taxi or something.

“Slobber puss launch attack” Church said before Sita came out of nowhere and tackled mer. “Stay for her?” He asked nicely.

I got up and shook my head. “No.” I continue to walk away.

“Beep boop beep.” Church said as he clicked some buttons... On his phone? “Hey... Lyra wake up Luna. Go fetch Hank and Brony. Teleport to Ponyville.... Why? Because vacation thats why. Good see you in like Two - Three minutes.” Church said before he hung up. “See! Now Luna is on her way happy now?”

“Still leaving!” I said walking off.

“Da fuq is wrong with you?” Church asked “When did you become grumpy mcgrumpypants?”

I stopped and turned. “Well.... The fact that you tricked me with a suicide note is kinda a big part of it.” I said.

“If it feels any better, I was close to doing it.” Church said plainly.

“Yeah... That really doesn’t help.” I said before turning back around and continuing to walk.

Then all of a sudden there was a loud crack in front of me. Then a bright flash.

“Slayer! Where are you going?!” I heard Luna yell. I just looked over my shoulder and yelled.

“Home!”

“Don’t be like that!” Lyra yelled after me.

“OH pttbtbttbtph!!” I blew raspberry over my shoulder.

“ALRIGHT I AGREE NOW THAT THE SUICIDE NOTE WAS A BIT OVERKILL BUT COME ON!” Church yelled. “ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!”

I just sighed and turned around. “Okay tell you what. I will stay if you promise never, ever... EVER. Do something like that to me again. Kay?” I yelled back.

“.......” everyone was quiet and looked at each other... before whispering quickly.

“Nice knowing you all.” I said turning back around and continued to walk away.

“Arr we agree to yer terms!” I heard Church yell. I stopped and turned around.

“Alright then....” I said walking back. “So what do we do first?” I gave him a weak, but meaningful smile.

Church then took off a backpack that he had picked up he opened it and pulled out different part’s of what looked like a gun. Tia floated over a table and Church laid out all the parts and started screwing them together and such. When he was finished It was a gun.... But not any gun.... It was a soft air gun.

Then he just stood there and picked up his gun “We play this” he said motioning the fully auto carbine soft air gun he had in his hands

“Sorry, but I left my airsoft gun back on earth.” I said scratching the back of my head.

Someone coughed. And I turned around and when I saw who it was... It was rasputin. My oldest brother.

“Rasputin!? The hell you are doing here?” I asked.

“Well... Simple. Your friend there invited me. And wanted me to get all of your guns. Of course he didn’t specify so our dad has two guns in his hands... That’s always good.” He said and we both laughed like crazy. “But I got your stuff.”

He tossed my a duffel bag with my stuff in it. I opened it up and pulled out my Paintball mask and one of my pistols.

“Alright.... How are we gonna do this?” I said putting the mask on.

“The arena over there.” Church said as he just had finished fixing up his Sniper. He pointed the sniper in the direction of the Airsoft gun/ paintball arena.

“Nice.” I pulled out a small shotgun with a strap and a single fire assault rifle. “Alright then.let’s do this.”

“Wait... Lyra where’s Evo?” I asked.

Author's Note

Hey guys I think this chapter may be a bit sub-par but want to know the best part?

I don't care! I mean I do, but it's not so bad I need to rewrite. So..... Have some epic Luna pictures.

We all saw her on the moon.... But what did she see?

One of the many reasons that Luna is best pony.

Why have just one?

This chapter.... So random. So wonderful.
Thanks!

Chapter 19: Something lost, A few Xs, and plenty of awkwardness and laughs.

Chapter 19

Something lost, A few Xs, and plenty of awkwardness.

The sun was setting in the distance and I was covered in small welts and bruises from the AirSoft fight I participated in with my brother and friends. I sighed and looked around before taking my Paintball/AirSoft mask off and looking behind me to see everyone coming out of the ‘Ponyville AirSoft Arena’. I smiled and sat down in the snow before realizing that my ass was now wet.

“God damn it... Snow... It will always ruin the mood.” I muttered before getting up and swiping the snow from my backside. “Hey everyone! Is there anyplace I can... Aw shit! Forgot that I didn’t come here with a change of clothes....”

“Don’t worry, I got like four pair of random clothes, you can borrow some.” Church said as he was inspecting his AirSoft sniper rifle.

“Alright then... That leads to a new problem.... Where the hell is a hotel I can rent a room in?” I said stretching a bit and slightly wincing from the bruises, which I mostly got for trying to pull some videogame stunts.

“Well, there is like two spare beds at Spurkle’s house... Then just down the road there is a four star hotel, I’ve fixed us some rooms, but incase you want to sleep now you can just take one of the spare beds at Spurkle’s house.” Church said lifting his mask off his face.

“Huh..... Okay be honest how long have you been planning this?” I asked turning to him with a smile.

“Got the Idea when you said double date.” Church replied truthfully before looking over his shoulder and saw Celly, he flashed a grin before turning back to me.

“Huh... Least you stopped all that ‘One night stand’ crap. IT was driving me crazy.” I said turning back and beginning to walk again.

“Still had more sex than you.” Church said as he looked at me he then turned to brony “Hey, brony!” I just sighed and shook my head.

“Yeah?” Brony yelled back as he did a quick inventory check on his things.

“You probably have done a ‘One night stand’ right? Or gotten laid in simple terms.” Church yelled before grabbing my arm and dragging me over towards him and Hank. ‘I think that Church is attempting to destroy me with the idea of getting laid.’

“Well... Yeah.” Brony said looking up and taking his mask off. “Why?”

“Well you see... Slayer here.” He said gesturing me. “Is still a virgin, Oh and how about you Hank? Gotten laid yet?” he said looking at Hank who almost was armed to the teeth.

“Well... Maybe.” He said sounding more unsure than nervous. “I went to a frat party by accident and one thing lead to another....” He shrugged and took off his mask.

Church let go of my arm and walked closer towards Hank and Brony before whispering something in their ears.

“Okay commence running in.” I turned and almost took off. “3... 2... 1... RUN AWAY!” I yelled attempting to put distance between me and my plotting friends.

But my attempts were soon foiled by a monster by the name of Slobberpuss. “AW damn it! Foiled again!... You enjoy torturing me don’t you Sita?” I said turning my head to see the offending animal.

Her eyes had that devilish shine to them. I could see that the edges of her mouth were curved upwards and that she was wagging her tail happily.

“I love this dog.” Church said as he walked over and scratched Sita behind the ears.

“Your dog is going to shove me off a bridge one day.” I said putting my face into the snow. And immediately regretting the idea. “Ah! Cold!”

Church just laughed at me and Sita barked a happy bark at my misfortune, as I got up I saw that Brony and Hank were walking towards the hotel.

“Okay Church.... Story time. What are you two plotting? You’re not gonna end up taking me to a strip club are ya?” I said as I stood up.

Church threw up his arms in the air “Oh no, how did you figure my master plan out?” Church asked with a monotone voice

“Oh har har... What are you planning?” I asked as I started to follow Brony and Hank to the hotel.

“Nothing, you need to change by the way... Same for me, lets use the library for now.” Church said

“If I end up being chloroformed then I am blaming you and hunting you down.” I said playfully and nudging him.

“Ha, ha. Let’s go I’m both freezing and feeling sweaty right now.” Church said walking towards the library.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Luna and Tia?” I asked following him.

“Tia went with Luna to the hotel room’s let’s just change and borrow the shower over there.” Church said as he kept walking

“Um kay......... Wait Mrs. Sparkle is just letting you use the library?” I asked as he opened the door to the Library.

“Yeah how else do you think i spent my whole night yesterday? Oh and i was not building the platform... “ Church said looking at me.

“Ri~ght.... Hey does this town have a pizza place? I could go for some hotwings.” I said walking in with him.

“Yeah yeah I’ll show you around after a shower, I’ll go first” Church said as he Threw his bag of stuff down on a bed and picked out some extra clothes both for me and him. Before walking in to the shower.

“Uh huh.... Don’t use all the hot water!” I yelled before taking off my soaked coat and hanging it over the stair railing. “By the way... Does Mrs. Sparkle live with anyone?” I yelled again.

“Not that I know of.” Church yelled from the bathroom

“Alright then!” I yelled back and slumped against the railing. “God I am cold..... Hope I don’t get sick.”

With nothing else to do but wait, I walked around and looked at what Mrs. Sparkle had in her home, but dared not touch anything. With her OCD with everything, I would not like to get my ears boxed again. I saw a few pictures of her family and smiled at the happy pictures. But one photo caught my eye.

It was a picture of her and Shining Armor. Both of them were smiling and there were two other ponies in the background. I looked at it for a few minutes before resolving to ask Shining about it when I saw him again.

All of a sudden the bathroom door flung open to reveal Church standing there.... What? Naked? Are you crazy? He is fully dressed. Perverts.

He was scratching his head looking at me before asking. “Why are you looking at me with that funny look on your face?”

“Hmm? Oh nothing I was just looking at some happy pictures.” I said still smiling. Then I noticed something. “Since when did they make triangular front pockets on jeans?”

“Hmm?” Church hummed as he looked down at his jeans. “God damn it, I should not get dressed whilst texting.” Church said as he turned around and went back into the bathroom.

A few seconds later he came out with his pants the right way. He was engrossed with typing a text to someone. ‘Maybe I should snatch his phone away from him.’

“Hey Church...” I said walking over and towards the bathroom. “.. Guess what?”

“Hmm?” He hummed without looking up from the phone. “What?”

“YOINK!” I yelled as I grabbed his phone and bolted into the bathroom before locking it.

“The hell?!” Church yelled as he now began banging on the door. “What are you doing?! Give my phone back!”

“Okay! Just a moment!” I said turning his phone on again and looking at who the hell he was texting. “Okay Church.... Let’s see what your up to.”

I looked around on his phone seeing random apps, pictures, and other things, until I finally found the texts he had sent recently. As I was looking around his files, A text showed up from a person that I didn’t know. The phone said that it was from somewhere back on earth, which was surprising to say the least.

[Hey Church! ;) Wha’cha doing?] The phone said it was from someone named Yoruichi.

I blinked and briefly looked to the door, almost expecting Church to be there, and then back to the phone. I began to text back.

[Sup? Church ain’t here right now, but I would be glad to answer your questions on what he is currently doing.] I texted back simply.

[Oh? So who have his phone then? :o And uh, what is he doing?] Yoruichi texted back.

I turned and yelled through the door. “Hey Church what are you doing right now?”

“Oh nothing special! Just trying to find a crowbar so I can break open the door before taking your spine as a trophy.” He yelled back.

“Oh! That’s nice!” I yelled back as I began to text the person back.

[Hi! I am Slayer one of his many friends over here. He is currently trying to find a crowbar to break the door down and take my spine as a trophy. :)] I sent it with a smile growing on my face.

[Heh, that sounds like Church alright! So Slayer tell me, how did you manage to get a hold of his phone? No one in his old school, including me could lay a finger on it.] Yoruichi texted back

[BY BREAKING DOWN THE DOOR AND TAZ- Naw I just swiped it when he was so engrossed in a certain text. I was trying to figure out if he was plotting my downfall or not, then you showed up! :P] I texted.

[It was that easy to take his phone away? :o After 2 years of being his girlfriend, I actually never could get a hold of his phone. I congratulate you, Slayer.... For doing the impossible.] She texted back.

[Well thank you!........ Wait a minute... Your if old girlfriend? O.O OMFG WTF!?.... I am gonna die by Church aren’t I?] I texted back

[Well that depends, If you are quick enough you might be able to sneak out.] She texted back before I had the chance to text back myself I received another text message.

[Oh and uh, don’t scroll up the received text’s plz... :)?] the text said... inocently.

[Normally, I would just say yea and do it anyway.... But just tell me. Was it like dirty talk or something?] I texted back feeling a blush creeping onto my face.

[Well.... Maybe.... It was... Uh, um... A few pictures, not nude thank god for that. But yes very dirty.] She texted back, after a minute.

[Okay. I promise not to look. Okay don’t freak out but has he told you about his new GF?] I texted back curious.

[... What?] ‘Uh oh..... I just signed my own death warrant.’

[Um nothing. Nothing at all. Wrong person. Sry. ;)] I texted back quickly.

[You are joking right?] She texted back extremely quickly before adding [Right?]

I looked to the door and back to the phone. Then said. [Yeah.... Yeah I am. Sorry that was a mean joke. I am really sorry. :(]

The text line went dead for a few minutes afterwards. I sat there looking at the phone for a while before another text came.

[PFFT HAHAH! x’D I totally got you! I’m his Ex numb nuts. Have you not seen the description under my name?] She texted back.

I blinked and looked down before facepalming. “I am such a moron.”

[Oh thank god.... Give me a heart attack why don’t ya!..... So... Got any embarrassing stories about Church?] I texted back hopefully.

[Oh yeeeah! I hope you can hide well, because this is going to take long.]

[I am in a unicorn’s bathroom.... I have time.] I texted back knowing how much Mrs. Sparkle enjoyed her privacy.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Church’s P.O.V.)

‘Asswipe stole my phone. Asswipe stole my phone. Asswh-’ My train of thought got interupted by me feeling something sharp. I lifted my hand out of the box and saw that I had a small splinter stuck in my hand.

“The fuck?” I muttered looking down at the object... Which happened to be a iron pipe. I lifted my hands and hovered the over my head asking myself “how the fuck did this happen?”

Before continuing to look for something useful. After a few minutes I found bobby pin, although it was very far away from the tool box since I gave up looking for something there long time ago. As I continued looking, I heard someone laughing from the bathroom almost hysterically.

“Crush. Kill. Swag. Destroy.” I said before blinking twice. “Swag? What the fuck? I’m not secretly gay...”

I got up and walked over to the bathroom door and putting my ear against it. I could faintly hear more snickering then more laughter.

“HE DID WHAT!?” I heard Slayer yell before his laughter carried on more.

I looked around the room for anything... I mean anything to use against the door. “Son of a bitch...” I muttered before turning my ear back towards the door.

“WHAT THE FUCK!! THAT IS RIDICULOUS!” Slayer yelled again as his laughter died out for a second before picking back up.

I went down the basement and looked around, but only found random lab equipment. “Fucking egghead.” I muttered before spotting something on the wall. A fire axe. “Well hello...”

I walked over and picked it up before quickly running up the stairs and preparing to swing at the door but as I swung it back, the dust on the handle caused it to slip out of my grip and got stuck in the roof. “Fuck. My. Life.” I said with a small pout. I looked around for another object and had problems finding anything that could be used to open the door.

“Well... Fuck.” I said walking back to the kitchen where I spotted the bobby pin, as I entered the room I walked directly to my right and grabbed the pin on the counter. I then walked over and picked up a small flat screwdriver.

“I’m going to kill slayer.” I said before walking back to the bathroom door. Just as I walk up to the door I noticed the a phone on a shelf next to the door. “What the fuck?”

I picked up my phone after setting down the tools on the shelf I walked over to the couch and sat down. I unlocked my phone and saw that it still was in the messages section. I skimmed over the messages to see if there was any type of tampering. After finding none, I went back down to the bottom where a certain message poked out. Right below a message from Yoruichi... My ex.

It read out. [And now I know. :3] and it was sent.

‘Slayer. What the fuck have you done?’ I thought. The shower upstairs stopped and after a few minutes, Slayer stepped out and stretched.

“Well... I feel better!” He said with a smile. “Wet clothes are worst clothes.”

I quickly typed in a message in my phone.

[Yoru, what have Slayer told you?] I texted. After that I glared at Slayer. “What have you been doing?”

“Nothing! I took your phone and when you left, I put it outside. What you have been doing for the past 10 minutes?” He said walking over and sitting in a chair.

I felt my hands vibrate from the phone and looked down at the text.

[Oh hey Church ;) He told me nothing... Except how sexy you are <3] I sighed deeply before looking at Slayer. I rubbed my forehead in frustration.

“Alright, mind telling me what Yoruichi told you? Or more specifically what you told her.”

“Oh not much. I told her my name... Who I was. And she just told me you were her ex. That’s about it.” Slayer said smiling.

“You are holding back, I know it.” I said narrowing my eyes at him.

“Naw! I would never hold back! Unlike you when you and Yoru played Halo and got your arse kicked.” He said mumbling the last part with a snicker.

“I’m totally contemplating if I should punch you or not... Oh and please do refer Yoruichi by her full name... At least when she’s around, she hates being called pet names. Hence Yoru.”

“Yeah yeah... Hey I got a question for you.” He said leaning forward and folding his fingers like he was contemplating something. “How many headshot did Yoru get off on you before you got one kill off her?” He said grinning.

I flipped him off cursing under my breath, I then felt my hand vibrate again. I unlocked it and saw another message from Yoru.

[Hey! Stop ignoring me! :c … I miss you, ya’ know.] she had texted. I sighed deeply and started typing back to her.

[I miss you too, it is quite empty without you sometimes.] I texted back.

“Oh tell Yoru I said hi!” Slayer said looking around.

I sighed yet again before looking at him. “We should go back to Earth some time.” I said out of the blue.

Slayer looked off for a moment before sighing and nodding with a smile. “Would be nice to breath in that unclean air again.” He said snickering.

I could not help to snicker with him. “Earth is one funky place.” I said with a grin on my face.

“Oh hey I have been meaning to tell you this... You know that movie ‘The Thing’?” He said looking to me.

“The one with a clown thats named ‘Pennywise’?” I asked

“Maybe... I don’t remember the names. But they made a remake of that movie with a pony/human cast! Heard it’s still REALLY bloody.”

“That would be shit ton of fun to watch!” I said laughing.

“They also did a season of the Big Bang Theory with ponies introduced!” Slayer said almost bursting into laughter.

I put my phone in my pocket before it vibrated. I took it out again and unlocked it, and again it was from my Ex.

[I love you. <3] I sighed deeply before typing back a message.

[I love you too, you big cat. <3 Anyhow, me and Slayer are thinking of maybe going to Earth sometime. If we do can we borrow your guest room for some time? Slayer says hi btw.] I texted back before thinking ‘Free loading for the win.’

Slayer looked at me with a grin. “So.... You tell her about Celly yet?” He said.

I sighed like for the hundredth time and said “No... I’m not sure if I want too... I mean I told her that I have a new girlfriend, and she took it better than I expected... But she won’t really let me go.”

Then Slayer said something that was either really close to what we were talking about or just his craziness talking. “I wonder if ponies have herds.”

I looked at him with confusion written all over my face. “Wh- … W-.... Wha?” I said tilting my head before I received another text message.

[Sure! Then I’ll have you for myself again! ^^ <3] She texted back, I read it with the most serious face I could put on and showed the text to Slayer.

“Look, she still writes hearts.” I said hoping to snap him out of his crazy talk.

“Oh that’s nice! But honestly do you think they practice polygamy here?” Slayer said looking back at me.

“How the fuck should I know?” I said shrugging “I mean its not like I ask or anything....”

‘Wait a minute.... Does Polywhatever Slayer said count, for Me, Celly and Yoru.... Ahh... Fuck my life.’

Then Slayer said something quite.... Odd. “I wonder if Yoru would share with Tia.” He said looking off in the distance.

I lost all expression on my face and looked at him. Before losing a bit of my sanity and breaking down and laughing my ass off. “And they called me crazy.” He said before randomly joining the laughter. “What’s so funny!? Hehehe...”

As i continued laughing someone called. I kept laughing as I answered the phone. “Yeah?” I said in between laughs.

“We are done at the hotel.... Just bring Slayer when ready.” Brony said in the phone. I kept laughing but managed to get a “Okay we are on our way” out before I rolled off the couch in laughter.

“I don’t know why I am laughing!” Slayer said as he laughed more and looked to me on the floor.
“Hey... *Snicker* Who was that?”

“Yes... Just celly wondering where we are.” I said lying but laughter covered it up.

“Oh alright!” He said before calming down a bit. “I still want to know why we were laughing.”

“No idea!” I said laughing even more.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Slayer’s P.O.V.)

I finally calmed down from our random laugh attack and helped Church off the floor as we made our way to the door.’Heh heh. Rhymes.’

“Okay Church where to?” I asked as we walked out and closed up the library.

“This way!” Church said pointing in one direction. I nodded and walked with him towards... Wherever we were going. We continued to walk until we found ourselves at the hotel. Church wasn’t kidding when he said he got a four star hotel, because this place was nice.

“So this is the place you got.... So where to now?” I asked as we walked in.

“Yep.” Church said as he walked up to the receptionist desk and turned around, I then saw Brony and Hank sitt in some chair’s here in the lobby.

“Oh hey guys!” I said waving over at them. They soon walked over. Church nodded to them before motioning us to walk with him.

“I’ll take a guess and say the rooms are 100 and 101.” Church said with a small grin. which looked suspicious.

“I think... I might just go look for that pizza place now.” I said contemplating running away. But before i had the chance both brony and hank grabbed me by the arms and started to drag me towards the room. “Aw snickerdoodle...”

As we arrived at the door 101, Church opened the door and said “Welcome to getting laid class. I’m your teacher, Church and this is class 101: The friggin’ basics.”

“Aw fuck this.” I said trying to backpedal and run but failing miserably. The room in fact was filled with candles, a table which was nicely done for two people some champagne. A nice scent to it. You know all that stuff. Church leaned in and whispered. “The condoms are under the pillow.”

I gave him a “WHAT THE FUCK!?” Face before sighing and slumping. “There is absolutely no way to get out of this is there.” I more or less stated.

“Nope.” All three of them said in unison. “Alright first things first, we’ve set the mood. And the rest is up to you and your romancing skills.”

“And whom am I exactly ‘romancing’?” I said sounding more irritated than anything.

They pushed me inside and closed the door, a few minutes later after I had tried to get out. The door flung opened and Luna walked inside, before it gently closed. She came over and handed me a note.

“Tia said to give you this.” Luna said handing me the note with her magic. I raised a eyebrow before taking the note and opening it up. It read.

‘This is who you are romancing!

P.S; paid for dinner it arrives in two minutes, make some small talk and such.’

“Those sons, and daughter, of a bitch.” I said sighing and sitting on the bed.

“What?” Luna said looking at me with a tilted head. “What is it sweetheart?”

“Oh nothing. Just contemplating how to destroy Brony, hank, Church, and possibly prank your sister.” I said running a hand through my hair.

Luna sighed before moving a bit closer to me. “What did they do now?”

“Well.... For one they won’t leave me alone about something, and two your sister is part of it.” I said looking to her.

She moved a bit closer to me before wrapping her two front hooves around my neck she leaned in and whispered in my ear. “We love what you have done with the place.”

I blinked before remembering where I was. ‘Should I?..... Aw why the hell not?’ I thought and smiled. “W-well.... I did do it for you.” I said hugging her back.

She pulled her head back before saying “That’s so sweet of you.” And planting her lips on mine.

I was slightly surprised at first, but leaned into the kiss myself. Before anything else could happen, sadly, there was a knock on the door. I slightly groaned and pulled away. “Two seconds.” I said getting up and going to the door.

Luna simply nodded while I went to the door and opened it up. “Herro?” I said looking out the door.

There was a pony in a red jacket with something on his head. “Room service!” he said.

“Oh... Well thank you! Um... Come in!” I said as I opened the door a bit more for him. He pushed a cart in that was filled with loads of silver ware... which presumably had dinner in it. He stopped the cart next to the table before walking out again.”Um.. Thank you!” I yelled at him as he left.

Shrugging a bit at his reaction, I went over to the cart and opened up one of the covers of food. I was surprised to say the least when I saw a rather nice looking steak on the plate. ‘Must have been awkward to cook this if the cook is a pony.’ I thought. I opened the other cover and saw a very gussied up salad. By gussied up, I mean that it was dressed in EVERYTHING you would find in a salad. Croutons, carrots, onion or whatever... Point is it was a fancy salad.

I turned to Luna and smiled, half sheepishly, quarter nervous as hell, and the final bit trying to be smooth. “Um... Dinner is served?” I said more questioningly than anything.

She just looked at me with a smile before taking a seat. As I brought the food over, I noticed one thing was oddly different, other than the obvious. ‘Am I wearing a suit?’ I thought as I looked at myself as I set Luna’s food down. ‘Son of a bitch I am............... Just how far did he plan this?’

I saw that there was another note on the cart. Which I picked up with a eyebrow raised. The note read.

‘So yeah, you got to the whole night... Since I’m guessing 6 condoms should be enough till around 2 in the morning. Leaving you all tired n’ shit.

P.S Food costed a shit ton.... Did not expect that.
P.P.S. You are sharing room with Lyra and Hank, Brony is forever alone in Me and Cellys room.... He can have Sita.’

I shook my head at the note and placed it back down before grabbing my own food and going to the table. Luna was waiting politely for me to set down my food before starting to eat her own food. As I sat down she smiled at me with a heartwarming smile. I smiled back trying to mimic the action before beginning to eat my meal.

I cut the steak up a bit before taking a bite and damn near screaming with joy at how well it tasted. ‘HOLY FUCK.... I just took a bite out of the food god.’

By the looks of it Luna was having the same reaction, after a few minutes of eating this in comfortable silence, Luna decided to break it.

“Soo.... How’s life?” She said with a smile. I gave a small chuckle to the words she chose and sighed.

“Um... Better! I guess. Me and Church are thinking about going back to Earth sometime to fool around for a bit.” I said taking another bite of steak. ‘Still amazing.’

“Oh. That sounds nice, how long are you planning on staying?” Luna asked with curiosity in her voice.

“Oh a few days... Maybe a week at most.” I said shrugging. “How about you? What were you doing with Tia?”

“Just simply looking around. Not very much. Looked in a few stores here and there. She acted a bit weird at times and wouldn’t stop smiling. We feel as if she is plotting something.” Luna said tapping her chin with a hoof before continuing to eat.

“Ah...” ‘I think I know why.’ “.. Well it’s nice to know you two are still hanging out. Even with me and Church interfering all the time.” I said playfully.

She looked at me with half lidded eyes. “Oh, so is that what you want?” she said even more playful than me.

I swallow the bite I was eating a bit harder than I would have liked. “U-um.. Wh-what do you mean?” I said smiling.

“Oh... Don’t be so shy.” she said smiling before continuing to eat. After swallowing she motioned with her head towards the bedroom. “Something you do in there... Most of the time.”

“Sleeping?” I said smiling.

Luna sighed before looking at me. “Don’t play dumb. You know what we mean.”

I again swallowed hard and did the old ‘Pull the collar cause it’s hot in here’ move and sighing. “Uh... Yeah. I do.” ‘Now I know why people are always drinking wine when they are out.’

“Thinking back quickly... I remember the battle you and Church had over the top score in that airsoft game.” She said putting a hoof to her chin. “You were so hot when you were out there.”

I just blushed like crazy and cleared my throat. “U-um... Wh-what do you mean? I-I didn’t do much.”

“Oh I know what you did... When you flanked the corner behind me... Sneaking views of our plot.” She said in a sultry voice.

If I blushed anymore then I would be a volcano. “Y-you saw that huh?” I said a bit quietly.

“You’ve got to watch your six... Even if we let you do it.” She said winking at me.

“Still got pegged between the eyes by Hank....” I mumbled a bit.

She giggled before saying. “Not mentioning the times you got sniped by Church.”

“I made up for it though!” I defended. “I actually did something awesome, and did a vault over the cover and taking out Brony and Hank!.... Before getting riddled with BBs from my bro and Church.”

“Hehe, yeah... Did you see that CQB fight Church and Hank had?”

“Yeah... Didn’t know hank could lift some one two feet off the ground by their mask.” I said thinking back.

“Not to mention that, Church never got a hit landed on him. Until he got picked up.”

“Well it is kinda easy to dodge someone who is nearly covered head to toe in weapons.” I said eating a bit more. “Though I think Church shat himself when Hank did pick him up.” I said snickering.

Luna giggled. And looked at my plate. “Still not finished we see.” She said sticking her tongue out at me.

I just looked down and saw I was about ¾’s done with my food before I looked back to her to see her plate completely finished. “How did you...” I began. “How did you eat that fast?”

“It tasted good, what else can we say?” she said tillting her head a bit.

I shrugged and began to finish off my food. As I finished I put my silverware back onto the plate and sighed. “That... Was a damn fine meal.” I said leaning back a bit.

Luna just nodded with me before saying. “You know, we still think it was pretty unfair how Church knew how to sneak in from behind and get everyone single handily when we all played Search and Destroy.

“Campers be hatin’.” I said shrugging. “Also... Never.. EVER. Give me control over that BB turret... I had a bit too much fun with it.”

“What we hated the most was that sound that Church made ever so often.... What was it again?” Luna said holding a h

“Boom headshot?” I said thinking back.

“Yes... But did he not play up a song too at the end of a round?”

“Yes... Yes he did. I believe it was... ‘One click headshot’ by Feed Me.” I said remembering. “Better than that stupid dance I did at the end of the last round.”

Luna started laughing at it before quickly hushing up to a giggle. She then smiled sheepishly at me.

“No no. It’s alright. Go ahead.” I said gesturing for her to get it out of her system. She then collapsed with laughter and fell of her chair. In case you’re wondering...This is how I was dancing. Only imagine it me with a BB gun in my hands and a paintball mask on my face. With some kevlar too.

“Are you quite finished?” I said in a mock posh accent.

Luna again smiled at me with a sheepish smile before noticing the cake on the cart. “There is cake...” She said in disbelief “But tis a lie...”

“More of a lie than the fact that there is a toy portal gun on the side of it?” I said pointing to said object. “I fear that Tia is glados or that that cake is laced with something if Tia hasn’t taken some of it.”

I got up and walked over before noticing something. I just sighed and picked up the cake before showing her a rather large piece was missing with a note saying ‘Sorry!’. “I think your sister has a mild addiction.”

“Heh, that might be true.” Luna said looking at the cake, she almost started drooling.

“Um... Want some Cake for that drool?” I said teasingly and picking up the cake knife.

Instead of a proper answer, Luna stood up and walked over to me before using a hoof to steer my face towards hers and kissing me passionately. After she broke the kiss I dumbly smiled before saying.

“Uh... What was that for?” I said not really caring for the reason.

“Because we love you.” Luna said with a heartwarming smile.

“Good 'nuff for me.” I said still smiling like an idiot. I practically tore myself from Luna’s beauty, so that I would not cut off my finger while I was holding a sharp object. I carefully cut the cake and placed them perfectly on the plates before handing Luna one and picking up a fork for myself.

I took a bite of the cake..... I swear I had a mental orgasm. I would have probably moaned in delight if I was not completely stunned by the food. I noticed that the cake tasted somewhat off but thats probably because of the steak I recently had. After finishing up my cake, I saw that Luna was finished and was looking at me in a rather....

Lustful way.

“Um... Luna? You feeling alright?” I said feeling A LOT more nervous than I was before.

“We’re feeling more than alright.... We’re feeling... Loving.” She said with a sultry voice in the end. “We want to try the bedsprings now.... Come on.” She said as she moved closer to me.

“U-u-uh... O-okay.” I said smiling VERY nervously. She grabbed my hand with her magic and dragged me into the bedroom, as the door was flung open I was shoved inside and the door was slammed shut. Before I had any chance to voice my displeasure, I was thrown down on the bed and feeling someone climbing on top of me.

“Ready for some Fun?” She said in a very sultry voice. ‘Welp..... Now or never.’

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(The morning after)
(Church’s P.O.V.)

I walked towards the room I had locked Slayer in and just let me say.... I had the biggest victory grin I had ever had in my life. As I neared the door, I felt that grin turn into a smile before I knocked on the door. There was a groan from the other side of the door before someone yelled.

“WHO IS IT!?” Sounding quite annoyed actually.

I laughed before saying “Why else but your friendly neighborhood troll Church-man?” with extra dramatic effect.

There was some shuffling before the door was opened revealing..... A fully dressed Slayer. In the suit I left him in.... All spruced up and everything. Just the way I left him last night. “You look nice.”

“Well yeah... Why wouldn't I?” He said looking over himself.

“Cause your face is damn ugly.” I said with a evil smile before laughing.

“And you lost a game of Halo 60 to 2 to a girl who never played before.” He retorted.

“Never played before? What the fuck are you talking about? She played for one of the top clans in the world.” I said looking at Slayer confused

“I was referring to her friend Veronica.” He said smiling. He gently smacked my nose with his finger and said. “Tsk tsk. Church. Baaaaad Church.”

“God damn it. Yoruichi.” I said rubbing my forehead In frustration. “I’ll have to talk to her later...”

“Yeah well don’t do it here. Luna is still sleeping.” He said walking out and closing the door. “Last night was great by the way. Thanks for askin’.”

“You forgot to fix your hair, so... I did not need to ask.” I said looking at his hair.

“Yeah... If you waited before you shoved me in the room, you would have seen my hat was still on my head. Plus it got messed up.” He said running a hand through it and fixing it.

“No shit shelock, you literally fucked a princess.”

“What are you talking about? Nothing happened.” He said with either a perfect poker face or he was serious.

I rolled my eyes. “Explain the moans then.”

“The food. It was freaking awesome! Thanks by the way.” He said smiling.

“Don’t mention it, So you are saying the name screaming and the heavy panting with the rocking of a bed. Was all because of food?” I said with a eyebrow raised.

“Oh no of course not!-” He began.

“Not to mention the fact that I actually managed to sneak in and do the dishes and take the cart back to the kitchen.” I said jerking a thumb at the door.

“That was Luna freaking out over a game!” He said cheerily. I sighed in annoyance before saying.

“You are one fucking odd job.” I said rubbing my eyes.

“You just noticing this?” He said still smiling. “By the way... What was in the cake? It tasted kinda funny.”

“Laced it with Pheromone enhancers. Basically, If you feel a certain way about a person, or pony in your case, it amplifies the effect.” I explained.

“And you did that..... Why?” He asked tilting his head.

“Because you would never take the leap.” I said looking amused.

“Still didn’t too. Got cold feet near the end.” He said looking away and rubbing the back of his head.

“Whatever, I’ll just be heading back to my bed then.” I said as i turned on my heels and Started to walk away.

“Oh I might want to do that if I were you.” He said walking up behind me. He leaned in and whispered. “I might have used it.”

Then with a massive grin on his face he walked down the hall and to the elevator. He gave me a two fingered salute before waking in and pressing a button.

“What?” I looked at him in confusion. I shrugged before walking over to my door and opening it out came Slobberpuss, my ever faithful companion. “Come on girl, let’s take a walk.”

I walked in and grabbed my phone which was on charge when I noticed the bed. I instantly got what Slayer was meaning and had unamused face.

“Well, He still don’t know about the time I used his bed back in the dorm.” I muttered before walking out with Sita. “Time to do random shit around here.” I said as I walked past the lobby through the main doors.

As I walked through, I was bumped into by some women hurriedly walking in.

“Shit sorry!” I said as I threw my hands up defensively.

“Oh it’s okay! I was in a rush. Just looking for someone.” She said righting herself. She was a smaller than me, about 5ft 9in if I had to guess, had brunette hair and was wearing a purple hoodie and blue jeans. She had a small black purse on her shoulder and seemed to look everywhere at once when she wasn’t talking. “Speaking of someone... Could you answer something for me?”

‘This chick rubs me the wrong way.... I’m going to see what I can do to stall her just for fun.’

“Maybe, depending on the question.” I said crossing my arms.

“I am looking for someone who attends the private school in Canterlot, but he wasn’t there so I am looking for someone who has possibly seen him.” She said brushing her hair out of her face.

“I might have, what’s it to you? And what’s is his name anyway?”

“Well... His name is Slayer Broman and I am his girl.” She said smiling.

My eyes widened at the statement. I mean what the fuck would you do if you don’t know that your best friend actually has a girlfriend then you go and hook him up with another girl which will cause a massive shitstorm to be summoned.... Anyhow this is what I did.

“No sorry ma’am I have not met him, nor ever spoken to him. But now if you excuse me I need to take my dog for a walk.” I said gesturing to Slobberpuss.

“Oh alright.... If you see him please tell him that I was looking for him!” She said almost pleadingly.

“Will do.” I said as I gave a friendly wave before walking out and turning to the right, after walking around the corner into an alley, I quickly whipped out a phone and texted Slayer.

[Dude, What the fuck?! I thought you didn’t have any girls before this!]

[What are you talking about? I had plently before I came here! They all just kinda... Had one small problem.] Slayer texted back.

[Say that to the girl who’s looking for you in the hotel lobby and she’s saying she is your girlfriend.]

Slayer didn’t respond for a moment until he message popped up. [WHAT THE FUCK!? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER!?]

[I JUST FUCKING FOUND OUT! Hang on. I’ll call you instead.] I texted and waited for a few seconds before pulling up the phone book and calling Slayer. He picked up and I said.

“Don’t fucking blame me! I just ran into her when I was taking out Sita!” I said into the phone.

“OH COME ON!... Son of a bitch EVERY FUCKING TIME.” He shout angrily.

“What? WHAT?!” I yelled back to him.

“What do you mean what?!” He yelled back.

“Christ where the fuck are you?” I said sounding annoyed.

“The cafe with breakfast where else! I need something stimulating to kick me into overdrive since I was up till 4 fu-” He said angrily before I cut him off.

“You could have ordered room service, Oh and I have used your dorm bed in more ways than you have.” I said before adding. “I’ll see you in a few you, asswipe.”

“I am going to hur-” He began before I hung up. ‘Fucking christ, this morning went to hell.’

I began my walk towards the cafe when I noticed that Sita had her ears folded back and was looking sad.

“Oh god no! I was not angry at you girl!” I said kneeling down before hugging her. “Is just that Slayer is a big dumbass sometimes so this tends to happen.”

I hugged her for another minute before releasing her and saying “I could never be angry with you. You are one of my best friends and will be forever. Got it?” She nodded before resuming her original happy panting. We closed in on the cafe when I saw someone familiar.

Slayer walked out with a coffee cup and one hell of a bad mood face. You know. The one were you look like you about to kill someone.

“You look like you’re in a great mood.” I said with a extremely sarcastic tone.

“Yeah fuck you too.” He said monotone before sipping at his drink.

“Who the fuck jabbed a twelve inch dildo up your ass?” I asked a bit annoyed.

“That bitch in the purple hoodie! THAT'S WHO!” He said angrily and partially crushing his cup.

“THEN DON’T FUCKING TAKE YOUR ANGER OUT ON ME JACKASS.” I shouted back, getting pissed off.

“I’m not! If I was, someone would be dead right now! And I would be missing my knife.” He said sighing. “Sorry, sorry... It’s just... That woman.” He ground his teeth and almost made a growling like noise.

“What’s with her?” I asked looking at him I then looked at Sita who was a bit scared.

“That.. Woman ruins everything for me. One of the reasons I moved here.” He said taking a drink from his cup. “She literally makes me so mad I don’t even notice when I hurt myself. Like How I just gulped down boiling hot coffee.”

“And you also didn’t noticed that my dog is scared out of her fuckin' life.” I said as I again kneeled down to her level before embracing her.

“Sorry... Here. This help?” He pulled out a small muffin and held it out for Sita. “It’s blueberry. Only kind they had.”

“Yeah should help...” I said grabbing the muffin and tearing of a bit before scooting back and giving her a bit. “She at least stopped shaking, but her mood is not improving...”

“Yeah... I have found dogs to be very empathetic.” He said sighing. “Dude I don’t mean to be this way. Carla... She just. Man she pushes all my wrong buttons.”

“It’s okay...” I sighed... Why can’t Slayer and I ever have a civil conversation?

“Why can’t we have a civil, normal conversation for once?” I asked no one in particular and got answered by a lick to the face.

“I think that sums it up pretty well.” Slayer said slightly smiling. “Okay tell you what. How about we go in there, get some breakfast, and I will explain everything.”

“That... That sound’s actually pretty good.” I said for once agreeing with Slayer on something in a long time. as we walked towards the cafe I got a text from who else but my Ex. God what is with this day? Its like its the day of the Ex’es.

[Morning Honey <3 How are you?] Yoruichi texted. “She always had a bad sense of timing” I muttered to myself.

“Come on answer while we walk.” Slayer said gesturing to the cafe. “And don’t worry. They allow dogs in to the place.”

“Good. Don’t want Sita to freeze her ass off whilst we sit inside. In the warmth.”

[I’m good... Just having a bad start of a day... How about you? <3] I texted back with a sigh. “So where are we sitting?”

Instead of answering. Slayer just smirked and said. “Anywhere I am not in a window or facing the door.”

I looked around before I found a corner booth “How about there?” I said pointing at the booth.

“Perfect.” He said almost sounding exhausted. FOR A DIFFERENT REASON... Jeez some people. We walked over and Slayer sat in the corner facing away from the door, and constantly looked around.

I sat On the side with Sita next to me I was holding the menu looking though what they had. “So when are you going to start explaining? Stop being so extremely paranoid.” I said groaning a bit.

Slayer just sighed and looked at me. “Well... While I was back on Earth, I wasn’t exactly what you would call a social person. So I kept to myself most of the time. One day while I was hanging out with my friends, this girl just came out of nowhere and asked me out. I, of course, said yes and things just climbed the ladder from there.”

I sat there with my mouth slightly agape. “Who in their right mind asks out someone you don’t know?” I asked before looking back at the menu.

“Well she knew me. I didn’t know her though.” He said leaning back. “Anyway things were going great until she started to get...... Clingy. She would constantly ask me to come with her to places that didn’t even make sense, she was always dropping by my house uninvited, and almost every time I went out with my friends she fell into a depression. I couldn’t fucking take it anymore! I went to her one day when she asked me to come over to her place and I dumped her there and then.”

“Better that than getting suffocated...” I said with a sigh before looking at Sita. “Why can’t girls be like Sita?” I said with a smile on my lips.

“Yeah... Loyal, adorable, and easy to please.” Slayer said smiling. “Anyway... She went fucking nuts. I mean REALLY freaked out. She threw at fucking a knife at my car window! Needless to say I went out and got a my a large knife before almost never walking alone. From then on, whenever I would get into a relationship, Carla would just somehow swoop in and mess everything up. She practically sabotaged my love life back on earth.”

“Well, then you had not met one guy called Lenoard. But likes to be called Church, He and his loyal dog shall keep her from fucking up your love life.”

“I don’t think you can! She did it while I was on a double date once... I tried to get a restraining order, but I was-” he began.

“Shh! I’ll fix this, with some mental pliers.” I said before taking out my phone and calling Matt. After a few short seconds he picked up sounding annoyed.

“Bloody hell who calls me at this time. Hello?”

“Yeah Matt it’s me, Church. I need a restraining order against a...” I put a hand over the microphone “What’s her name again?”

“Carla Whiten.” Slayer said raising an eyebrow.

“A Carla Whiten” I said before getting a response.

“JANET! …. JANET FOR FUCK SAKE! I KNOW YOU ARE AWAKE.” Matt yelled so Slayer could hear. I just shrugged with a smirk on my face. All of a sudden a girl with a british accent picked up “Yes? Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I need a restraining order against a Carla Whiten. And a bodyguard or bouncer, which ever works for the next two days.” I said before hearing someone frantically pressing keyboard buttons.

“There... Should be set all set up now, But why do you need a restraining order?” Janet asked. “Well It’s not for me but for a buddie. Here explain to her.” I said giving Slayer the phone.

“Um Hey... I am Slayer. The bitch is obsessive, crazy, and is destroying my love life. Please help me.” He said before handing the phone back.

“Good enough reason for me. Alright the Order has been sent, Its undergoing approval It should take less than twenty-four hours. And Bruce is on his way to... Where did you say you were again?” Janet said.

“I never did. I’m currently in a cafe in Ponyville... I’m staying at the hotel, room numbers 100, and 101.” I said with a serious tone

“Got it. I’ll hear from you later Church.” Janet said back a bit more cheery before hanging up.

I exhaled a breath that I’ve been holding in for some reason and said. “Does that help?”

“Well.... If it means getting Carla off my back for good then yes. Yes it does!” he said almost more full of life than he has ever been.

“Oh man, That got me extremely hungry... What are you getting?” I asked trying to get my mind off the subject

“Muffins... Lots and lots of muffins.” Slayer said leaning back and sighing with a massive smile on his face.

“I have no clue what to get.... Hey wait... Spaghetti and meat sauce? Sounds tasty...” I said before a happy bark agreed with me.

“Actually I tried that when I first walked in here.... Not that great.” Slayer said making a small look of disgust.

“Damn it... Anything else you could recommend? Otherwise I’m taking the meatloaf.

“The muffins. They are freaking amazing.” Slayer said smiling. “Don’t know why. They are honestly the best things I have ever tasted. Not even that cake stands up to these. Weird part is they are made by a pegasus.”

“Huh... I’ll take one then... What will you have Sita?” I asked before three barks came. “They have chicken?” I said scouring through the menu.

“You speak dog?” Slayer said with the same confusion as me.

“How else do you think I’ve been spying on you?” I said with small sarcasm.

“It also explains why Arrowhead and Sita ‘talk’ to each other.” Slayer said doing the finger quotations.

“Yeah... Speaking of which, I think Arrowhead is in your room. Oh and I’ll just take two chickens and one coke then.... With a muffin on the side with coffee I guess...” I said looking through the menu.

“Actually... I found him last night... He is next to your hand.” Slayer said pointing to the mint green snake coiled on the table.

I wanted to freak out there but I kept my calm, lifted my hand, and pushed him a bit away from my hand. Slayer gave a small whistle and he slither over before resting in front of Slayer, coiling up again.

I looked towards the door and saw that Brony and Hank were coming through. With Lyra and Luna. I took out my Phone and saw that It would take least Bruce about half an hour to get here.

“Son of a bitch.”

“Hmm?” Slayer hummed as he scratched Arrow’s head with his index finger.

“Carla fucked up your love lifes right?… Your current one is incoming and I hope that we can hide long enough for Bruce to get here.” I said.

“Actually.... I might have a small advantage here.” Slayer said picking up Arrowhead. “Carla.... Is absolutely terrified of snakes, one of the many reasons I love them, and won’t even come near me when there is one. Believe me, I know from experience. Although..... I have never tested that theory when I was on a date.”

“Let’s hope it works because if she comes in here, when Luna and the others sit here with us... I have a feeling a major shitstorm would happen.”

“To be honest... I am more worried of what Luna will do.” He said slightly shuddering at the thought.

“Well, I’m worried what I might do...” I said as I looked at Hank who pointed to us, before walking over with the group. I scooted closer to Slayer before whispering. “Let’s be on our best behavior no?”

“Whhhhy?” Slayer almost whined. ‘That’s a first. Usually I do that.’

I just burst out laughing. “Oh my god that was priceless. To actually have you whine! Something completely new!” I said through laughs.

“But Chuuuuuuuurch!” He whined again this time flailing his arms a bit. “I don’t wanna be on my best behavior! Tooo tired for it.”

I just kept laughing until I tipped over and kept laughing lying on the booth which belonged to the corner booth. “Sooo.” I laughed some more “Priceless!”

The group finally came over while I was spilling my guts out with laughter. Slayer scooted over so that Luna was next to him and Lyra sat next to her. Hank and brony just scooted in next to me and rest while Sita laid across my lap.

“What have you two been up too?” Luna said as she leaned on Slayer who just put an arm around her and gave her a sideways hug.

“Doing random shit.” I told her lying her straight up her up in the face... Which feels incredibly bad.

“Oh.... Well then. Anyway, what are you guys getting?” She said looking at the menu.

“Shall I tell them or you?” Slayer said.

“Chicken, two plates one for me one for Stia.” I said. “I really don’t want to explain since I’ve got some Text’s I need to answer.”

“MUFFINS!” Slayer said throwing his arms in the air and smiling widely.

I sighed before pulling out my phone and opening the latest text from Yoru. But before I had the chance to read it, Someone yanked away my phone. “Not this again.”

“Helloooooo. Whom is this?” Lyra said holding my phone in her hooves. “Oooh. A girl I see!”

“Lyra.... Please give me back my phone.” I said tiredly.

“Nah. I think I will... Woah. What is going on here?” Lyra said as she looked at the texts. “That.... That is a lot of blanked out words.”

“Yeah... Like I said... Please, give me it back.”

“Naw... I think I will keep reading.” Lyra said smirking. “Besides... Who is this girl anyway?”

“No one.” I lied again... Feeling like shit.

“Oh malarkey and pthbtthtbtbhtbb.” Slayer said blowing a raspberry.

“Just stop with the reading and give it back!” I said Standing up a bit. “I mean it!”

“And what if I did this?” Lyra’s horn light up and the phone went ‘Poof’. Literally. Poof.

My eye twitched involuntarily. I took deep breaths, before just slumping back down.

“Hey Church... Want to hear a secret?” Lyra said leaning over.

“What?” I hissed. ‘God a smoke would be perfect right now.’ Lyra just leaned over and whispered.

“Check... Your... Pocket.” She whispered before returning to her seat.

“Bitch.” I muttered under my breath before feeling my pockets. When I found what I was looking for I stood up and started to walk out.

“Hey! Where you goin’?” Slayer whined. Again.

I just whipped out my Lucky strike pack and held it in the air before I walked out of the door. When I got out I took out one cigarette before lighting it. I did a drag before saying.

“Shit this is... Well was really needed.” I muttered to myself before looking down at the ground kicking some loose snow. “Stupid school causing me to get a bad habit.”

“You’re preaching to the choir sister.” Slayer said suddenly next to me while I flinched slightly at his sudden appearance.

“The heck?” I said looking to my side. “What are you doing here?”

“What? Guy can’t enjoy the view of a town bustling with life with his best friend without a reason?” Slayer said looking to me with a smile.

“That sounded a tiny bit of gay, but sure. Whatever works for you.” I said looking at him before taking another drag of the cigarette. “Can’t believe I got such a bad headache that i had to resort to this.”

“Better than what I do.” Slayer said shrugging. “I bang my head against something until it goes away or I pass out.”

“Well. That does not sound smart... Nor does smoking.” I said painfully as took another drag before blowing it out.

“I was kidding. Knew a guy who huffed Expo markers whenever he was around people though... He is currently without a right lung.” Slayer said frowning.

I sighed before taking another drag. I noticed that the sun along with the sky looked pinkish “Will you look at that... it’s like it’s dawn all over again.”

“Hey speaking of dawn... Where is that big ol’ cake hungry ray of sunshine?” Slayer said looking around.

“She had political business... Sad to say its better if she puts the country first instead of me.” I said a bit saddened

“Hey she ain’t doing it because she wants too.” Slayer nudged me. “It’s because if she doesn't do it then I won’t get any time with Luna.” He said snickering.

I could not help but to just snicker with him. But as we kept snickering it grew into a small laugh from there it became a normal one until it escalated to a maniacal laughter.

“Is it just me... Or can I hit your funny bone pretty damn good.” Slayer asked.

“It’s just a shitty day, which is going painfully slow. And I rather laugh it away than sulk around.” I said with a rather half sad mood.

“Well... That is always a good way to look at things. Anyway.. Lyra wanted me to tell you to check your left pocket.” Slayer said. “She said she put your phone there.”

I one last drag of the cigarette and throwing it away, before picking up my phone. From my left pocket. “What had she done with it?” I asked.

“One of her many prank spells. Another makes you swap mane/hair with someone.” He said snickering. “I wonder what Luna would look like with black hair?” He looked off for a moment in thought.

I looked to my right and saw something I did not want to see “Aww son of a...” I muttered under my breath. “Slayer you might want to get back inside.”

“She.... Is right over there isn’t she?” He said nodding his head to the right.

“Yeeaah....” I said painfully.

“Do I have at least five minutes?” He said stiffly.

“Three minutes tops if she don’t walk around asking ponies and people.” I said looking at him.

“Welp... “He took off his jacket and handed it to me. “.. Nice day for a run.”

That is when he moved quicker than I have ever seen. Like someone oiled the floor and put soap on his feet. He was gone around the corner as soon as Carla got over to me.

“Oh. Hello again! Any word of that person I am looking for?” She asked hopefully.

“Sad to say no, but If I see him I’ll tell you.” I said giving her false hope.

“Oh... Did her perchance go into the coffee shop?” She said looking behind me.

“I have no clue.” I said innocently. Looking away for a bit.

“Oh... Okay. Well if you see him you know who to call!” She said before walking off in the direction Slayer went. As soon as she was out of sight Slayer run up next to me slightly panting.

“Sup?” He said a bit winded.

“Not much just do-”

“Hey mister I never got your na-”

‘Well... Fuck.’

Author's Note

Yeah..... I'll give you a hint as to the next chapter.

"ENEMY SHIT STORM INBOUND! TAKE COVER!"

Yeah........ Anyway. On a light note, I got Far Cry 3! Great game. Killed over 100 people in the 20 minutes I played. yay!
Oh well.... Goodnight, morning, afternoon, or midnight!

CCCCCCCCYA!

Chapter 20: A freak out and a new job?

Chapter 20: A freak out and a new job?
(Slayer’s P.O.V.)

I was currently sitting in a coffee shop with my head down on the table and only one of my friends being here, That being Church, and me in a hell of a rut.

“Well...... That ended nicely.” I said sarcastically.

“... Sure did...” Church said leaning his head against the back of the booth.

“.... Can you tell me what happened? I was seeing red that entire time.” I finally said taking my head off the table and looking at Church.

“Seeing red? …. Oh yeah you popped a blood vessel.” Church said sarcasticly.

“That’s not what I meant. You know... I flipped my shit and that’s where I blanked out.” I said leaning back against the booth as well.

“And popped a blood vessel, got it.” Church said again. I just sighed and looked at the ceiling.

“Can you PLEASE... Just tell me what happened?” I asked.

“Okay.... If you so want to hear it, this is what happened.” Church started.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

(Third Person View)

(Flashback)

“Hey mister I never got your na-!....” Carla said as she walked back over.

“Fuck....” Slayer quietly swore. Church just put on a ‘You don’t say’ face before slowly backing away.

“Slayer? Its that you?” Carla said walking towards him. Slayer on the other hand looked as if he was about to go kill something.

“Wish I wasn’t... But yes. It is.” Slayer said putting on his ‘This is so awkward face.’. Church kept slowly backing away hoping that Carla would not notice him and scold him for well, lying straight up in her face.... He also had spun around and tried to tiptoe his way out of there.

“Wait you know this guy?” Carla said pointing to Church. Slayer just sighed and facepalmed. Church tensed up before slowly continuing.

“Well I should. He is one of my friends.” Slayer said without thinking. Church tensed up again, and muttered something before facepalming. “Aaaaaand... I just fucked him over now. Great.”

“Wait..... He does know you!” Carla said glaring at Church. “How come you didn’t tell me anything!?”

“Shit.” Was all that was heard from Church before he some what started dancing.

“Church.... What are you doing?” Slayer said sounding tired.

“Can’t you see the fuck’s I don’t give?” Church said dancing even more.

“Nope.” Slayer said before he turned and began to walk away.

“Where are you goin’ !?” Carla yelled at him. Slayer just held up his right hand with his middle finger at full attention.

“Away from you!” He said with the tiredness creeping back into his voice. Meanwhile Church was just standing there looking confused, before Carla faced him again. He just shrugged and asked.

“What are you looking at?”

“Why didn’t you tell me anything!?” Carla yelled angrily. Church just shrugged again and muttered.

“I dunno.” He muttered quietly, like a child.

“What do you mean ‘I dunno’!?” Carla yelled again. Church again just shrugged before looking around.

“Didn’t feel like telling you.” He said looking around. “I guess.” he added quickly and quietly.

“Oh that is just super!” Carla said sarcastically. “Why don’t you go ahead and tell me he has a new girlfriend while you’re at it?!” Church just put on a stoic face and looked at her.

Carla just looked back for a few seconds before realizing something.

“He does doesn’t he.” She said a bit quietly.

“I never said that.” Church said looking at her. “I never did... I swear!”

“....” She just remained quiet before saying. “Who is she?”

“Who is who?” Church asked looking confused.

“Oh don’t play stupid.” She said glaring at Church whom just remained unfazed and confused at the sudden glare.

“Bu-” Church started before he got cut off. Slayer came back with a glare in his eyes as he looked to Carla.

“Okay that is fucking it.” He said getting in front of her. “Look Carla. I left you a long, long, LONG, fucking time ago and I always thought that I had done something bad. But when you started to get more obsessive, I realized that WHY I left you! YOU. ARE. A. CRAZY. BITCH.”

Slayer got out of her face and stepped back. “I Told you to move on the first time you came back and thought nothing of it. But when I started to go back out and date.... YOU had to come and fuck everything up! I tried to move on, but it’s like you wouldn’t fucking let me!!!”

Slayer’s expression had gone from a simple ‘I am only slightly pissed off’ to ‘TOTAL RAGE’. “I let that one go. I thought that it was just some petty excuse for revenge, but you had to just keep on doing it!!!” He walked over to her and continued to glare while holding up his hand with all five fingers held out. “Five different relationships, Carla. FIVE. YOU RUINED FIVE OF THEM JUST TO GET BACK AT ME.... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU CRAZY BITCH!?”

“AND YOU CALL ME PISSED OFF! CALM DOWN!” Church all of a sudden yelled with a face that screamed ‘NOPE!’

“I Will not calm down until I have said what I wanted to say for three years!” Slayer snapped at Church before turning back to Carla. “You are obsessive, annoying, aggravating, and worst of all... YOU WON’T FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE. SO GO THE FUCK BACK HOME TO EARTH. GO! I AM NOT GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH YOU... EVER!”

Slayer finally finished his tirade and stepped back panting a bit while Carla just looked like she just got hit with a train full of feels. Carla then just turned around before walking away slowly then eventually just running away. Slayer though was still panting with that same, almost evil, glare in his eyes.

“That.... That was harsh....” Church muttered for himself. Unfortunately, their little group of friends had come out to see what all the yelling was about and were standing in the cold behind Church.

Church sighed and looked at Slayer. “Sorry to ask, but did you have to be so harsh?”

Slayer sighed and stopped glaring in Carla’s direction. “To be honest... No... I don’t think I did.”

Church at the moment was blissfully ignorant of his surroundings and didn’t notice that someone was standing next to him. “Well... All I have to say is …. What a twist!” Church said rubbing his forehead.

“Dude... What caused that?” Brony said from behind Church.

Church of course jumped and screamed like a little girl, in mid air he turned around to look at the others. You could hear his heart beating from a good 10 feet away. “DON’T DO THAT!”

“Sorry.” Brony said sheepishly. “But seriously what was that about?”

Church just looked at Brony before realizing he and the group were there. Church just put a hand on his chin before saying. “.... What a twist.”

Slayer just looked back and frowned at the fact that he probably just raged in front of his friends. And worst of all, in front Luna. Before anyone could say anything, said mare walked away before stuttering out.

“U-um.. W-we have to go.” and with that she teleported away.

“.... What a twist.” Church said after a few minutes of silence throwing his arms out.

Slayer just sighed and walked back to the cafe before walking in and going back to his booth. Brony and the others just looked to each other before hank said.

“Should we... Uh. Leave him be or something?”

Church looked at Slayer, then Hank.... Then brony.... Then Sita, whom just sat there wagging her tail in blissful ignorance and was looking as happy as ever. He kept his eyes on Sita for a few seconds before looking at Lyra, who looked confused as fuck.

“Yes.” Church said slowly nodding. “Let’s all leave him be and let him get sad.” Church said sarcastically.

“Your way with words still astounds me.” Lyra said rolling her eyes.

Church quietly added. “You know you love it.”

“Why don’t we have one of us go talk to him?” Lyra suggested.

“Don’t you dare suggest me.” Church said before everyone then looked at Church.

“No, I hate you all.” Church said looking at them before pointing at Lyra. “I hate you the most.”

“Love you too! Now get in there! We will go back to the hotel and wait for you there.” Lyra said as she walked towards the hotel with Brony and Hank following. Church just stared at Lyra’s fl-... I mean Lyra as she walked away before he ran after her with his arms stretched out in front of him.

When he got to her he quickly picked her up and brought her up to his face giving her a glare. Then Lyra said the one thing running through everyone’s mind.

“You mad bro?” With a smile too.

“Phone, wallet and my money.” Church replied holding the glare. Lyra rolled her eyes and levitated his stuff up.

“Fine... Here you go.” She said. Church quickly took em out of the air and placed them in their rightful pockets, before rushing off to deep snow with a devilish smile.

“Hey Lyra... Can you swim?” Church asked before she slowly nodded her head. “Good, because.... Let’s go swimming in deep snow!”

As Church said that he threw her out into the snow quite far too. As she landed, she didn’t come up for a few seconds before popping her head out.

“C-C-C-COLD!!” Lyra yelled out before frantically going back to the shallow snow. Church just laughed as he walked away, before adding. “Consider us even!”

He quickly made his way back to the cafe where Sita still was sitting, surprisingly enough. he glanced over his shoulder and saw that Hank and Brony was helping Lyra get dried up again.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(End flash back)
(Slayer’s P.O.V.)

“Wow...... That’s harsh.” I said looking at Church with disbelief. “I really said all that?”

“It was not!” Church said before adding “Wait what...?”

“All those things I said... Not the Lyra being tossed in the snow, I would have probably done the same.” I said shrugging.

“Haha! I thought it was the right course of action.” Church said sounding victorious... and a bit stupid.

I sighed before leaning back. “Maybe... That was a bit harsh. Great. Now I feel like a asshole.” I said.

Church just repeated his throwing out his arms a bit before saying.

“.... What a twist!” He said sarcasticly.

“Will you stop saying that!” I snapped at him playfully. Church faked a gasp before again saying the same thing, but in a lighter tone.

“.... What a twist!” He said laughing a bit too. I joined into the laughter as well before getting a single thought in my head.

“Wonder what Luna is doing...” I slumped and put a hand on my chin.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Meanwhile in Canterlot)

Luna had just arrived back and was seeking her sister so that she may have someone to talk to. Recent events had left her feeling unsure of somethings.

“Oooh. Tia, where are you!?” Luna said frustrated. She continued looking around the castle until she finally came upon the throne room. “Okay... Either she is here.... Or eating cake again.”

Luna opened the throne room doors to find Tia sitting on her throne. She was whistling a tune and repeating the same words over and over again.

“This is boring, this is boooring. This is extra booring.” She kept chanting, changing small things.

“Tia!” Luna said as she ran in.

“No?” She said looking at her with surprise. Luna tiltied her head and sat on her haunches.

“No?.... What?” Luna said scratching her head in confusion.

“What are you talking about? Stop talking about silly things, you are drunk Luna. Go to bed.” Tia said looking at her sister.

“But... What? Tia stop being silly! I need to talk to you!” Luna said worriedly. Celestia just sighed before saying.

“Ugh... Fine, what do you want to talk about?” She said in a gentle voice.

“Well... We were at the cafe in ponyville and we saw Slayer kinda... Well. He freaked out.” Luna said rubbing her right foreleg. Tia looked at Luna with a ‘Are you kidding me?’ face.

“Is this really all you want to talk about?” Tia said.

“Tia this is serious! We have never seen him that angry before!” Luna whined a bit.

“It’s not like I was doing anything productive anyhow.” Tia said before she got off the throne. “Alright tell me what’s brothering you.”

“Well we are worried about Slayer mostly... And Kinda scared.” Luna said as she shifted a bit.

“So it was not the sex?” Celestia said with a eyebrow raised.

“What!? No!!” Luna said blushing.

“You really sure it was not the sex?” She said with a both. eyebrow raised.

“No! Just Him freaking out! Why would it be the sex?” Luna said still blushing like crazy.

“Well... Um, he was a virgin....” Tia said looking at her sister. “Keyword... Was....”

Luna simply blinked before saying. “He was? SO that means... WHY DOES NO ONE EVER TELL US THESE THINGS!?”

“Wait were you not a virgin too?” Tia asked. Luna simply shifted from place to place where she was sitting.

“Well we were!” Luna said looking to Tia.

“Hot, passionate virgin sex? … And I missed it? Darn it.” Tia said. Luna jsut blushed again and groaned.

“I believe Church has awakened your perverted side again.” Luna said rubbing her head.

“No.” Tia said quickly.

“Yes.” Luna said smiling and poking her sister’s side with a hoof.

“No...” Tia said.

“Yeeees.” Luna said with a singsong voice and poking her sister once more.

“No... No way.” Tia said looking away with a small blush. “Maybe I should just kiss you and take you right here and now if I’m so perverted.”

“Oh here we go with the Molestia jokes.” Luna said rolling her eyes. “I thought those rumors died a hundred years ago.”

“They did.... Don’t you dare start them again.” Tia said looking at Luna.

“How did some of them go?” Luna said tapping a hoof against her chin. “Oh yes!”

“What?”

“Ssssshhheeee is climbing in your windows!” Luna began to sing. “Snatching your ponies up!”

Tia walked up and got right in the face of Luna and glared in her eyes. “So you started that?”

“Trying to molest them so you better hide your foals! Hide your wives! Hide your foals! HIde you wives! Cause she is snatching everypony up!” Luna continued smiling. “No. We just made that song that ponies started singing.”

“Really?” Tia said looking at Luna with a bit of disdain.

“Yup! We do know of the pony that did start those rumors though.” Luna said coyly before getting up. “We are going to go back to Ponyville and see if we can find Slayer. Wish to join us?”

“Uh.... Sure?” Tia asked in confusion.

“Well then put your disguise on and let us leave!” Luna said happily as she shrunk herself again and put on the hoodie Slayer had given her. “We are burning daylight!

“Ha ha. Very funny.” Tia said sarcastically.

“We thought so.” Luna said smirking. “I will tell the guards we are leaving then we shall leave?”

“Yes! … I mean yes do that.” Celestia said a bit too excited. Luna simply laughed and went to the guards before telling them they would be gone for a little while.

“Alright. Are you ready?” Luna asked Tia who had changed into a white pegasus with a Pink mane and a clouded sun cutie-mark. She nodded eagerly before they both teleported away.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Back to Slayer and Church)
(Slayer’s P.O.V.)

“Eh... I don’t think I have anything to worry about.” I said leaning back. “Luna is pretty understanding.”

“Ya sure?” Church said looking at me before I felt something wet connect to my face.

“Son of a... Sita!” I said wiping my face off. Church just sat there with a huge trollface.

“I feel as if you are trying to destroy me with puppy love.” I said looking at Sita and gently scratching her head.

“Best tactic ever.” Church said before adding. “Don’t you agree?”

“Well... She does have a way of cheering everyone up huh?” I said grinning and petting Sita some more. That was when we both heard a faint ‘Crack’. “Wonder what that was.”

“It was your mental health escaping its bonds.” Church said before whistling a bit which caused Sita to shoot up and walk over to his side of the booth.

“The sad thing is I believe you.” I said rubbing my forehead with my hand. Then the doors opened and two familiar mares walked in. “Hey look who’s here!”

“Mmm, Bacon with extra butter sauce would be great right now... For some reason.” Church said randomly.

“Oh... Kay?” I said not sure how to respond. Then Luna and Tia walked over and took their seats next to us. Luna next to me and Tia next to Church. And that monster he calls Sita.

“Soo... Tia I thought you had work or something.” I said awkwardly.

“Well.... You see, I took care of that since a while back.” Tia explained. “And I thought you knew that my sister was a virgin.”

This caused Church to violently spit out the coffee combined with a energy drink that he was drinking and my jaw to drop. Even Sita stopped panting and looked at Tia with a ‘Da Fuq you talking about?’ face.

“What!?” I yelled out before getting many stares. I chuckled nervously before saying it again quietly. “What?”

“Why don’t you ask her.” Tia said pointing at Luna before guiding Church face towards hers and started eating away at it. She stopped quickly to say this. “By the way, keyword... Was.”
Before continuing.
My jaw had somehow dropped again before I used my hand to close it. I gently turned to Luna and said.

“Well then.... That is new.” Luna shifted a bit before saying.

“Yeah well... Why did you tell me you were a virgin!” She asked.

“I thought that was common knowledge by now!” I defended. “Besides it’s not that big of a deal anyway....”

I looked to Tia and Church for a moment before asking. “Since when did Tia become so perverted?”

Tia promptly pushed down Church before climbing on top of him. “Talk about libido. Have you not had sex in like thirty years or something?” I said. Luna slowly looked at me before leaning in and whispered.

“More like fifty.” Luna said with my eyes widening.

“Damn.” Was all I could reply. “Okay you two. Stop. We are in a public place.”

Tia head shot up before looking at me. “No.” She said in a childish voice before continuing.

“Yup... Church is definitely rubbing off on her.” I said leaning back. Then Luna looked at me weirdly.

“Why are you-.. OH GOD!” I said slamming my head against the table. “Oh god the images.”

I just sat there for a moment before sitting back up and looking back to Tia. “Okay enough Sunny. Let him breath.”

She looked up from Church again before looking at me and Luna. “Nooo! Churchy is mine.” She said hugging him tightly.

“Just ease up until we get back to the hotel.” I said leaning back. “At least let him drink his coffee. Which reminds me... Where did he get that?”

“Uh somewhere over there... By our waiter.” Church responded pointing at the end of the table, and sure enough there was a waiter standing there with a blush on her face.

“Oh... Um.. Could I get a coffee as well?” I say as she nods and quickly pours me a cup of coffee before hurriedly walking off. “.... Well then.”

“She was nice...” Church said before a small thunk was heard. “Ow! What the heck Sunshine?”

“Don’t compliment her, compliment me instead... Who is currently on top of you.” Tia said with the last part being very sultry.

“Ti-..... Suuuuunny.” I said in mock warning. “Stop.”

“No.” She repiled quickly and childishly.

“Sunny. I will take you off of him.” I said.

“No! Mine!” Sunny said hugging him tightly.

“Sunny you’re killing him with your love.” I said pointing to Church who looked slightly purple.

“Oops.....” She said before letting him go a bit.

“Maybe we should just go back to the hotel before anyone dies.” I said sitting up a bit. “Uh waiter? Check please.”

“Sooo... Church. Where are the others?” Luna asked looking around.

“On a lonely road.” Church randomly answered back.

“Oh.. Kay?” Luna said unsure.

“Then we have Hank who has his Power quest, for cheese.” He again randomly said.

“Sister I believe you have broken Church.” Luna said looking to Tia. Who awnsered back.

“Nonsense. Hes perfectly fine.” Tia said.

“Slayer has something to do with the gates of hell.” Church mumbled loud enough for Slayer to hear.

“Wait what about me and the gates of hell?” I said.

“Yeah... You broke him dear sister.” Luna said.

“Oh and uh.... Brony and Lyra is Bunk buddies... In the sexual waaay. They do the Rhythm of love in beed.” Church randomly spewed out.

“I thought that... Oh I don’t know anymore.” I said throwing my hands in the air.

“Yes yes... He is most certainly broke.” Luna stated.

“No he is not Sister! He’s perfectly fine.” Tia argued. “In fact he’s my treasure, no way he can be broke.”

“LUNA IS A PIRATE!” Church yelled out for some strange reason as he said that I had the strangest image in my head.

“Yeah Sunny, Church is definitely broken.” I agreed with Luna as I continued to think about the image that just popped into my head. “Also I have got to stop letting Church infest my mind with his humor.”

“Have you heard the tales of singing pipes?” Church randomly asked.

“Sunny your love has broke Church.” I said chuckling. Church closed his eyes for a minute before they shot open.

“What just happened?” Church asked us all.

“Sunny broke you with love.” Luna said smiling.

“Thats... Thats a new one.” Church said to himself. “By the way Slayer, we need to plan when we are going to Earth. But not here.”

“Why not here?” I asked finally sipping at my coffee.

“Who knows who might be listening!” Church said with a raised voice. There were some sky blue feathers that were slowly falling down from the air in the booth next to us. And a small dust cloud.

“See she is a bit to nosey sometimes.” Church said.

“Who..... Who was that?” I said looked at the booth.

“It was either Rainbow Dash, or a fan-mare I met one day ago.” Church said Sitting up straight and gently guiding tia of him.

“Speaking of fans..... I don’t think we will be needing that Bodyguard... Unless Carla tries something.” I said shuddering a bit. “Anywho..... Why would someone be spying on us? Or more specifically... You.”

“Let’s just say, you aren’t the only one with obsessive followers.” Church answered.

“Bit of a low blow there dude. But I see your point. A even better question is why?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” Church said as Sita jumped in his lap and licked his face, he just ignored it and kept looking at me.

“Just wondering why you are being followed.” I said shrugging.

“Some want my body.... Not kidding and other just want to get auto graphs... Some even want me to get together with them....”

“That doesn’t answer my questions of ‘Why?’ though.” I said.

Church coughed fake coughs and adding in between them “Famous DJ named Alpha?”

“.... Your subtly is soooooo amazing.” I said rolling my eyes. “So you’re a famous DJ named Alpha. Big whoop.” I said twirling one of my fingers in the air.

“SSH!” Church franticly tried to hush me up but alas, there were some hooves that were coming this way. “Oh great. Look what you have done!”

“You’d know what would happen if I said you were dating that piece of sunny side up?” I said nodding towards Tia.

“A whole lot of fucking shit.” Church said a bit scared.

“Precisely. So count your prayers. Besides. It’s a few fans. Just give them autographs and tell them to be quiet.” I said shrugging. “Worked when I was helping this other guy out.”

“Ugh I hate dealing with fans sometimes...” Church complained.

“Want me to do it?” I said leaning onto the table. “Dealt with plently of fans before. No, I was never famous if that is what you’re thinking.”

“How the heck could you have fans then?” Church asked as he looked around the booth corner and saw that the fans were getting closer.

“I was a bodyguard, rodey, and a manger for a little bit when I was looking for jobs.” I said smirking. “Also I have helped Luna out a bit every now and again.”

Church just nodded with a ‘Not bad’ bad. “Sure, knock yourself out, but I just wish to give them some autographs and probably some pictures.”

“Kay.. First thing is first. Gimme your sunglasses.” I said holding out my hand.

“What why?” Church said with despair on his face.

“I am not taking them. I just need them for this to work.” I said.

“Okay... be careful with them though they cost a lot.” Church said as he handed them over.

“Alright.” I took them before taking my glasses off and replacing them with the sunglasses. Then I popped the color of my jacket and pulled out my phone. “Okay Now Luna go sit on the other side of Church.”

“What?” Luna asked. I just sighed and gestured for her to do it. She just sighed before getting up and sitting next to Church.

“Okay. Now Church. Go along with this alright?” I said putting my phone to my ear.

“Oookay... What are you planing?” Church asked. I simply smirked as the mares entered view and oddly, one stallion.

“Okay okay I get it! You want him at the platinum cassino! Just give me the info over the computer ya big dunce. Yea yea...” I said into the phone as if I was talking to someone. I ‘Hung up’ and looked to Church. “Boy-Oh I tell ya, you get any bigger in this world you are gonna start having people and ponies begging at your doorstep for some action.”
Church looked at me for a few seconds before mouthing ‘you ass!’ to me. I just grinned and winked through his glasses. Then I turned to see the ponies.

“See what I mean?” I said in a ‘new yorker’ accent. “It’s already happenin’!”

I stood up and greet the ponies with a handshake. “Hey you two. I am Slaya Brohan and I am this certain DJ’s manager. How may I help ya?”

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!” One of the fan mares squealed.

“Oi! Now calm down little lady! What’s your name?” I said in my yorker accent.

“Leaf Darling!” She practically yelled, but managed to calm herself down abit. She was a earth pony with a green coat and a lighter shade of brown on her mane.

“That’s a pretty name. Hear that?” I said turning to Church. “This little lass’s name is Leaf Darling!” I turned back to the mare before continuing. “Now what is it that my client can help you with?”

“Could... Could... Could Alpha sign this for me?” She gushed barely making out the words right. She held out a picture of Church in a hoodie, that strangely resembled one of his friends trimmings and style, wearing a rather scary looking metal mask over his face. I gently grabbed it and looked at it for a moment.

“Well I don’t know.” I turned to Church with the picture in my hand. “Can he sign this?”

“Sure. Anything for a fan.” Church said as he took the picture. He looked at it for a while before remembering something. “Hey Leaf.”

Leaf Darling almost fainted hearing her name being uttered out by celebrity. “Yes?”

“Do you got a pen?” Church asked.

“Do you have pen?” I said with disbelief. “Since when does the mare killer not have pen?” I just fake a few grumbles before pulling a pen out of my pocket and handing to him. “Doesn’t have a pen. Pfft.”

“Well thank you Brohan.” Church said accepting the pen I was giving him for the moment, he signed the picture in the corner with quite big letters. To Leaf Darling, from The Alpha. He then handed the picture back to me. I then handed it to Leaf who took it with shaky hooves.

She merely whispered a “Thank you.” Before staring at the picture and trotting of somewhere. “When I said he was a mare killer I meant it.” I said more to myself than anyone else.

I looked at the mare that was approaching, she was swaying her flank a little more that you should. Causing even Church to look what was going on, her eyes were half lidded and trained on Church the whole time. As she got to the table I kept my eyes to hers as to not only not stare, but not incur Luna’s wrath.

“Now how may I help you?” I said to the mare in front of me.

“The name is Emerald Charmer, and I want Alpha... In my bed, Now.” Emerald said. I let out a small, low whistle before turning back to Church.

“Well... I am sorry missy. But I am afraid he has his hands full as of the moment. I would suggest tryin’ some other time.” I said stepping in front of her a bit. She quickly sidestepped and jumped up on the table and faced Church.

“Why don’t you and I hit the road and go home to me?” Emerald said with a sultry voice. I looked to Celestia and Luna, Luna of which was glaring at me and Tia who was glaring at Emerald, and then to the pony. I sighed and wrapped an arm around her middle and made she to grab her wings.

“Come on now. Can’t have you taking him away from his current suitors now can I?” I said pulled her off the table. “Now like I said. He has already got two mares on his arms. He don’t need a third around his waist.”

“But I want his Babies!” Emerald whined.

“Not genetically possible.” I said putting her on the ground. “Now go on. I don’t want to have to evict ya forcefully.”

“I feel strangely seduced by that.” Church muttered. The pony gave me one nasty glare and a seductive smile to Church before she trotted away. After that two ponies trotted up to me. One was a Deep sea blue pegasus, which happened to be a Stallion, whilst the other one was tan with a Red mane.

“Why hello there you two. How can I be of assistance?” I said smiling.

“Um... We would like it if Alpha could find it in his heart to sign these for us?” The stallion said.

“It isn’t a foal is it?” Church whispered to me. I looked and they had two pictures one with Alpha backstage with some other DJ’s and one where the couple in front of me were taken in a picture with him. I leaned back and shook my head.

“Just a picture of you with them that you probably didn’t have time to sign.” I said shrugging and taking the pictures before showing him.

“Oh hey! If it isn’t Storm Flicker and Peach Petal!” Church said in a more cheery voice.

“Oh my gosh he recognizes us.” The mare named Peach Petal said quietly.

“I’d gladly sign these for you.” Church said signing the pictures with To the best couple around. Signed by The Alpha for Peach Petal and Storm Flicker. He handed them back to me before I read them.

“Well ain’t that sweet!” I said smiling like an idiot. I handed them back to the ponies and quietly added. “Now can we keep how he is here under wraps? You know. Is on vacation and all that.”

“Ah yes...” Peach Petal said as she nodded with a huge smile.

“Then have a nice day then! Chao!” I said before Church said.

“Wait! Give them this too. It’s my phone number, I’d love to hang out sometime again.” Church said with a goofy smile on his face. I chuckled and took the napkin he had written on before handing it to the happy couple.

“I would wait till you’re out of the cafe before you open this.” I said smiling. “Cause I know you’re gonna like it.” The both looked weirdly at the folded up napkin. The just nodded then took it waving goodbye before trotting out. When they got out, I was pretty sure it took them a half minute before Peach screamed in positive delight.

“Well....” I looked around and saw no more fans. I sat down and took the glasses off and re-did my collar before sighing. “That.... Was exhausting.”

“Was going to invite you as a bouncer in the backstage area, but I guess a job that pays 100 bits per hour isn’t worth your time.” Church said waving dismissive hand.

“Oh so you already got a manager huh?” I said jokingly.

“Well....” Church said putting a hand to his chin. “Nope.” He said laughing a bit.

“How... How do you get famous without someone helping you out with shows and all that?” I asked as Luna got up and sat next to me.

“Got invited to a event called Monstercat Tour.” Church said. “Everything took off from there.”

“Ah....” I said rubbing my head. “Still though. Kinda impressive.”

Church just chuckled a bit before saying. “It was on a tour, I believe my second one here in Equestria, when I met a crazy fan mare like Emerald... They are somewhat funny to meet with a body guard, but she had me stuck in my own little lounge.”

“And she had her way with you and you just let her.” I finished.

“No... Well was contemplating on it as I had to dodge her for ten minutes straight.” Church said with a chuckle.

“Well.... I think I see what you’re getting at, but I have to tell ya I ain’t that good for a bouncer.” I said rubbing the back of my head. “In fact... Kinda how I lost my job.”

“Slept with the managers daughter?” Church joked.

“Close but no.” I said seriously.

“Huh... Then what happened?” Church asked with a tilted head.

“Eeeh... Odd story actually....” I said.

“Drink your coffee and talk in the meantime? Oh and lets soon get back to the hotel before another small group of even more crazy fans comes.” Church said.

“Yeah yeah.” I finished off my coffee and stood up with Luna. “Shall we?”

“Want to get arrested? We still haven’t paid the check.” Church said looking at me.

I just pulled out about twenty bits and put them on the table. “That should do it. Now. Shall we?”

“Wait time to be generous!” Church said as he pulled out eighty bits in tip and left a small card that said The Alpha was here.

“And you just keep on making trouble for yourself.” I said chuckling and walking with him out.

“They won’t know who!” Church said with another goofy smile. “Since I usually wear that mask.”

“You know... You’re just making trouble for me you know that right?” I said looking to him with a serious face..

Church just started to laugh maniacally before somewhat saying this evilly. “It was my plan all along!” And adding a evil mastermind laugh.

I simply smacked him lightly on the back of his head before chuckling. “If I am gonna protect ya from crazy mares then you have to not make them want to attack ya.” I said.

“Aww...” Church said pretending to be sad.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

After much chatter, me finally telling the story of how I was fired from being a bouncer, and bumping into a few more fans, we finally arrived back at the hotel.

“So yeah I got fired because the person I was guarding got drunk and tried sleep with me.” I finished. Church did not attempt to hide it he just laughed like a madman at me.

“Best way to be fired.” Church said.

“Got even worse when the manager found me with her in that certain position.” I said chuckling. “I swear... I have never seen a pony THAT angry before!”

“I believe you, heh.” Church said looking at me as we stepped into the elevator. Of course this was after we had walked down the hall to the elevator. he pressed a button and the doors closed.

“Soo... Want to hear how I got fired from being a rodey?” I said smiling.

“Sure, but before that, want to hear about Peach and Storm?” Church said with a smile.

“Yeah. I was wondering about those two. They seemed to know you pretty well. As much as a fan could anyway.” I said.

“Yeah, Storm and Peach actually managed to not only sneak past security, but also into backstage. It sounds pretty stupid since backstage was pretty fucking smacked with security, It actually sounds like something I would do.” Church said as he laughed a bit before continuing. “I found them as I was grabbing my hoodie. They were hiding behind some stuff, but hell it was my first time so I let it slide. I’m glad I did, Those two reminded me of us... Somehow.”

“We do get into some pretty crazy shit sometimes huh?” I said looking back on all our crazy deeds.

“Hell yeah... I’m lucky that we met them today, I mean, they are a really nice couple and they are crazy like us... I hope they get engaged soon.” Church said.

“Hmmmm. Engaged you say?” I said putting a hand on my chin. “Who is thinking of asking who? do you know?”

“No... But when I first met them they had been dating for two years.” Church said.

“Hmmm very interesting.” I said as my ‘Thinking’ grin formed.

“What are you planing now?” Church said as the world.... or Elevator if you wish came to a stop.

“Ooooh, Nothing. Just that I need a shave.” I said feeling a 5 o’clock shadow. Church just laughed at me. Before stepping out and walking towards the rooms. He stopped and faced me. “Shave then come to room 100 I’ve got my Xbox Hooked up there. And I brought shit ton of games with me.”

“I... I want to say I am surprised, but I am not.” I said deadpanning. Luna on the other hand, which I am ashamed to say I had kinda forget about, squee’d and bolted past both of us into Church’s room. “Aaaaand that is why I love that girl.”

“Uh... what?” Church looked confused before starting to walk in. He stopped halfway and let celly through before walking towards me. “Lets go get you shaved and we need to plan Earth thingy alone.”

“Eh.... I don’t really want to shave. That was just my clever way of saying ‘Drop it’.” I said shrugging. “But yeah... Sure. Wait we aren’t staying here to play videogames?”

“But then everyone else can hear our plans and ask why we are visiting and such and if they can follow! I just want to be bros and go there as just us two!”

“Dude... You’re being paranoid.” I said plainly. “No one is going to watch you in your own room.”

“Ssh!” Church said as he turned around. He looked at the door for a few seconds before pushing me towards my room. “You can never be too sure.”

“Eh... Whatever. Look the more you back a big deal out of it the more suspicious you look. Trust me on this.” I said putting a hand on his shoulder. “If you just keep calm. We won’t attract attention.”

“Yeah yeah yeah whatever. Go go!” Church said opening the door and pushing me inside. He turned around before pulling out something, it looked like a detonator.

“Aaaand why do you have that?” I said sighing.

“Itching powder stuck to the roof. Oh and all my gaming stuff is here.” Church said pointing at the xbox hooked up to the T.V. “All the other’s are back up with different shells.” Church said as he pressed the button and a small ‘Boop’ sound was heard.

“Wait.... Why is it all in my room?” I said confused.

“So I could lure everyone else in to My, Celly’s and Brony’s room... Remember we are sharing, but everyone seems to gather in my room for some reason.”

“Ah.... That explains why there was a controller hidden under the pillow last night.” I said scratching my head.

“Yeah... Ran out of places to hide it.... And room service hooked it up whilst we were gone, but not the scratching powder. I did that.”

“I... Don’t even want to know. Okay let’s start playing so we can discuss this already.” I said sitting down and grabbing a remote.

Church threw himself over a couch and took up all the space. Precisely every freaking seating space were taken by him and his laziness. Until there was a frantic whining and scratching on the door.

“Shit.” I heard Church say muffled by a pillow. “Would you be so kind?”

“But what if... They got to Sita!?” I said in a mock panicky voice. Then I got up. “Yeah sure.”

“Thanks man, would hate if she had to sleep in the corridor cause I’m stupid enough not to let her in”

“Yeah yeah...” I said as I opened the door and let Sita in to attack Church. “Also I have been wondering something. Why are you goin’ to school if you’re a DJ?”

“Cause, better to know shit, than to be clueless.” Church said as Sita jumped up on the couch joining him in laziness.

“Eh... Makes sense. Now, done to the metaphorical business.” I said walking over and reclining in the recliner. “What are we doing about going to Earth?”

“I would rather just say we are going to visit some relative instead some sort of trip that you and I are taking, because then people want to join in too.” Church said.

“Soooo.... It’s like a expensive camping trip without all the camping.” I said plainly as the game on the Xbox started.

“Well if you say it like that, it just sounds bad.... Plus we have one unknown factor....”

“And that is.... What?” I asked.
Church coughed some before saying. “Both our families and Yoruic-” he coughed again. “And no more than that.”

“Well.... My family already saw me so they wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t there with them... So that just leaves Yoru and your family... Wait why are you coughin’?” I said looking to Church.

“Hair! Dog Hair everywhere!” He said coughing even more. “Help!” he said as Sita put a paw on his face and then kept snuggling into him.

“I would.... But Sita seems to be happy. So I will just let this one slide.” I said smiling.

“Nooo!” Church said being dramatic before sitting up bit and spitting out dog hair. “Oh well.... Why did I ask Yoru to keep us there a whole week?” Church asked himself.

“Because you tried to avoid the subject of you dating Celestia.” I said smirking.

Church just looked at me. “What?” he said with a stoic face before playing

“Oh don’t be so coy.” I said. “Besides... Who is this Yoru chick anyway? I know she is your Ex, but what is she like?”

“Very playful, when it comes to gaming utterly serious, Shes smart witty... Handsomely Intelligent.. Uh... Sexy... Cute eyes....” Church talked but before he could continue I cut him off.

“Oi... You do have a girlfriend. Don’t start infatuating with someone else.” I said leaning back. “Cause if you do it just makes my job harder.”

“What job?” He said looking at me with Mischief in his eyes.

“Yeah yeah... The job of keeping your ass from getting raped by over zealous, horny fans.” I said pointing a finger at him.

“Oh.... Fine be that way grumpy.” Church said going back to the game. “But seriously this is why I wanted to talk to you, I’m having second thoughts about me and Celestia’s relationship.”

“Really now.... That doesn’t sound too good.” I said looking to Church.

“Yeah... I’m not sure right now how I feel... I’m not really sure if I want to stay with her or break up...” Church said a bit quietly.

“Is it a relationship problem? I mean like fights or anything? Cause all I have seen is that pony give you more love than I care to mention.” I said.

“That’s uh... The problem... We rarely have fights... In fact, we never had a fight... All she keeps giving is love, and without the tiniest bit of hate or bad feelings inside there... It just feels all wrong.” Church said.

“And that is a reason to question the relationship why?” I said.

“What?” Church asked confused looking away from the T.V. quickly.

“Well I am just saying that it sounds kinda silly.” I stated looking to Church. “I mean say it out loud. ‘My relationship sucks cause we have no fights!’. Not that you said it like that, but you get my point.”

“It does sound kinda silly, but I feel all empty inside, like something is missing.”

“Is this the time I must quote someone?” I asked.

“I quote; A wise man once said. ‘No.’” Church said looking amused.

“Too bad.” I said clearing my throat. “ ‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.’. Einstein... And Vaas form Far Cry 3.”

“Really? Einstein?” Church asked.

“Yes... Einstein. Now does that help at all or do I need to quote someone else?” I said smirking.

“I quote; I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.” Church said. “Guess who.”

“Someone I probably don’t know.” I said.

“Albert Einstein.” Church said.

“Hey I was right!” I said with a stupid grin on my face. Church just smiled and rolled his eyes.

“So how is this going to play out?” Church asked sniping me in the game as he distracted me.

“Well.... Many things can happen. The two most likely are either one: Tia goes into a depression and will take a hell of a lot of support to get her out.... Or two: She gets VERY angry and attempts to kill us both.” I said back stabbing Church in the game.

“Again, A quote; Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.” Church said with a sheepish smile.

I just deadpanned at Church. “I don’t know if you’re trying to insult or compliment me. Or both.”

“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” Church said shrugging, with a disturbing grin on his face.

“That was very odd.... But all I am saying I guess is if you do go ahead and break up with Tia, just be gentle about it. Unlike me.” I said frowning. Church dropped his smile and frowned too. Before there was banging on the door, with a very angry sounding Lyra on the other side.

“I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE! BOTH OF YOU!” Lyra yelled.

“WHAT DID I DO!?” I yelled.

“Oh yes... I might have set up that several things of yours fell out of the bags that, well got poofed opened... Making you look like a criminal too!” Church said with a huge smile.

“Auhg.... Next time a horny fan comes to your door step I am just letting them walk on in.” I said sighing.

“I’m just going to take a dive.” Church said walking over to one of the windows and opening it.

“Noooooo Church.” I said walking over and grabbing his collar.

“But! I have my Bathing clothes on!” Church said as he still had his jacket and such on.

“Nope.” I said dragging him back and closing the window.

“B-But!” Church said almost whining.

“Noooooo.” I said.

“But slaaaaaayer I want to dive! I waaaant to!” Church whined.

“Do you want ice cream?” I said randomly.

“Ye-” He began before the door was randomly unlocked. Both of us looked at the door and saw a infuriated Lyra standing there with a screw driver and a bobby pin in her magical grasp.

“Told you not to let her play Fallout.” I said looking to Church.

“Well.... Let go now?” Church said as he looked towards Lyra.

“How about we both jump out the window and run away as fast as we can?” I asked. Church then picked up a rock and threw it at the window before saying. “Better than actually jumping through the window.”

“Where did you get a rock?” I asked as I looked at the now broken window.

Church untangled himself and rushed towards the window before diving through it. Sita followed directly after. “You coming?!”

I looked at it for a moment before rushing and diving out and falling face first into the snow. Thanks to it being deep snow I didn’t break my neck. “Owww.....”

Church on the other hand literally swimming through the snow, I have no idea how. “Hah! That was awesome! Oh wait....” Church said as he looked to me, who was buried face first in the snow.

“Might want to move..... Lyra is jumping out too....” Church said as he stopped swimming and got up.

“Pain....” I said standing up and sighing. I walked over as I heard a ‘THUMP Oof’ behind me. THen I just straight up ran and grabbed Church before running like a madman away. “RUN AWAY!!!!”

“BWAHAHA!” Church laughed like a madman when we runned away, with a mint green infuriated pony after us.

“Wait what got her got her pissed off again?!” I yelled.

“Shit ton of itching powder, and a microwaved rubber duck!” Church yelled back.

“You devised a bomb using a superheated polycarbonate toy, itching powder and my suitcase!?” I yelled.

“Hell yes!” Church yelled with a devilish smile, he then looked over his shoulder and positively increased his speed by five hundred percent. “YOU AIN’T CATCHING ME!”

“Oh fuck this...” I said stopping and letting Lyra speed by me. Then I simply walked away. “That... Actually worked.” A few seconds later I felt something grab my arm and started to drag me in the opposite direction. “Oh bollocks.”

“Care to explain where Churchy is going?” Lyra asked with venom dripping of her words.

“If I knew I would probably be back at the hotel.” I said shrugging.

“I don’t believe you.” Lyra said glaring at me.

“Yeah I thought that would be the case soooooo....” I pulled out a feather out of my coat and began to mercilessly tickle Lyra.

“W-What! St-Stop that!” She managed to get out in between laughs.

“That depends... Can I leave?” I said stopping for a few seconds before beginning again.

“Y-Yes! Ju-... Just stop!” Lyra said laughing really hard.

“Okie dokie!” I said stopping and standing back up. “All I know is he ran that way.”

I pointed down the street and smiled. All of a sudden Church turned a corner and ran past me, making a “Wrooom!” sound.

“Never mind... He went that way.” I said pointing without even looking. And I pointed at the hotel. “Ah..... Welp. I am off to go tickle Luna because... I can.”

“Think of the context!” Lyra said from my side.

“I have... And you are a dirty, dirty mare for thinking like that.” I said giving her a mock scolding.

“Oh you love it.” She said as she bumped her flank into my leg before swaying her hips a bit in front of me with a seductive smile.

“Yes, but I have royal flank awaiting me upstairs at the hotel. I will not be swayed by you.” I said smiling.

“Ha!” Lyra laughed at me before walking normally and smiling at me. Before sprinting of towards the hotel. “Cya there slow poke!”

“You just hope I don’t catch you!” I said twirling the feather in my fingers and running towards the hotel. I entered the hotel and began to look around until I heard someone screaming upstairs. I sighed and walked over to the elavator. “I am starting to regret taking that bodyguard job.”

Author's Note

Chapter 20! Yay!!!!!
Hurray!

Chapter 21: Oh sheet.

Chapter 21
Oh sheet.

I walked into elevator and pressed the button. As the doors closed, I heard another scream of either agony or something else. With a shrug and a clearing of my mind, the doors to the elevator opened up and I walked out still twirling that feather in between my fingers. I looked down the left side of the hallway and then down the right before walking back to the left towards my room.

As I neared it, I heard the screams coming from there and simply decided to ignore it. ‘If Church wants to get killed by a mint colored unicorn then who am I stop it?’ I thought as I walked away from my door and to go find Luna.

“I DON’T WANNA DIE!” Church yelled from my room. I shrugged again and went to Church’s room where Luna and Tia were. I knocked on the door before coming in and seeing Tia fast asleep on the bed and Luna simply playing some Zombies on Black Ops 2.

“Luna!” I said tackle hugging her. She ‘Eep!’ed before I heard a muffled “No! Noo! Bad Lyra! Baaad!” From my room. I laughed out loud before pulling out my phone and calling Church.

“Yeaaaah yellooo?” Church awsered.

“How’s it feel to be raped by a mint green unicorn?” I asked smiling.

“Eh, I’m currently run… Oh shit … That was close... I’m currently running around and dodging her but I’m pretty sure she will shove her stuffed chicken down my throat if she had the chance.”

“But Lyra doesn’t have a cock.” I said.

“Oh ha ha.... OH PUT THAT DOWN!” Church yelled.

“Hey hold out the phone and I will calm her down kay?” I said.

“If I ca-.... Lyra what are you doing with that chair? … Put that down please.... Please?” Church asked sounding distressed.

“Welp.... You’re boned.” I said hanging up. I put my phone back into my pocket before hugging Luna again as she was trying to get up from my tackle hug. She just sighed and hugged me back, seeing as I was not going to let her up without getting a little affection back. As she hugged back I gave a small smile before kissing her on the nose and letting her get back up.

“Soooo.... What happened to Tia?” I asked as I look at the slightly drooling ruler of the sun. I just giggled a bit as Luna was sighing and going back to her game.

“She fell asleep after we put my game in. She said something about being ridiculously tired and just wanted to nap.” Luna said. I just looked to Tia and then to Luna before shrugging and sitting down next to her.

“So what level you on?” I asked trying to at least start some sort of conversation. Luna just paused her game before saying.

“15.” She said plainly and starting her game again. I just tilted my head in response. Something wasn’t right here. Usually Luna is all snuggly when she plays a game, but right now she is all distant and like not wanting to talk. Like at all.

“You feeling alright Luna? You’re acting different?” I said raising an eyebrow. “Like very different.”

She stiffened in response for a moment till she looked to me with a smile. ‘That almost looks forced.... What is going on here?’ I thought.

“Nothing is wrong!” She said a bit loud. “We are just fine! Yup! Nothing going wrong here! No siry!”

I blinked for a moment till I got up and began to walk towards the door. “Yeeeeeaaaahh... I am going to go check on Church to see if he is dead right now... Soooo... Goodbye.”

She just nodded and I walked out of the room before almost sprinting to my room, but I settle for a fast paced jog. As I arrived at my room, I opened the door to see.... Nothing.

“Well that’s odd.” I said as I walked in. I looked around to see a few chair piled up near a wall, the couch flipped over, and the bathroom door wide open with a whole bunch of random things thrown out of it. “Huh... Oi! Church you here!?”

There was a two groans from... The bedroom? “Well then... Let’s go investigate?” I said almost asking myself more than stating. I walked over to the bedroom and slowly opened the door to see Church and Lyra laying on the bed... Holding each other. “Uuuuh... OKAY THEN.”

“It took a goddamned while to get Lyra to calm down.... BUT I DID IT!” Church said quietly and triumphantly. I just shook my head and sighed.

“Oh bollocks. Just let her go and let leave her alone.” I said pointing to door behind me.

“She’s all snugglie wuggile... Not to mention cute and fuzzy.” Church said sounding a bit childish.

“She’s not a cat. Just let her go and let her sleep. Besides, Tia is sleeping. You can go snuggle with her.” I said.

“B-But! Shes all warm and fuzzy!” Church whined.

“Let’s just go!” I said raising my voice a bit.

“Oh fine!...” Church said letting Lyra go, then proceeding to wiggle out of her grip. “Why you do this Slayer?”

“Because Luna is acting different... And Tia is drooling.” I said scratching my head.

“Well lubricants! If you get what I mean.” Church said wiggling his eyebrows as he got up from the bed.

“Ugh.... I am going to wake Lyra up and lock you in this room.” I said facepalming.

“Well she did tackle me down on this bed... But nothing happened, except some snugglie wugglies.”

“Yeah yeah... Whatever. Come on! Let’s go!” I said gesturing him out the door.

“You are so impatient today.... Just cause Luna acting different, and lube.” Church said.

“Quiet you fool.” I said.

“So wait you made her pregnant?” Church said.

“How can that happen if I am a human and she a pony?” I asked as we both walked out of the room.

“I dunno.” Church said shrugging. “Magic?”

“ EXACTLY!!” I slightly yelled grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him closer to stare at him menacingly.

“Want a kiss?” Church said with a kissy kissy face.

“No. I want you...” I said turning around and pointing at a painting. “TO ENJOY THIS ART!”

“What.....” Church said looking at the painting. “That would look better tilted.”

“I don’t know. Go enjoy some smooth jazz.” I said walking towards his room again.

There was groan from Lyra on the bed which caused Church to shoot out of the room faster than crazy fan mare that is chasing after her favorite artist.

“Huh...” I said as I walked towards his room again. As I arrived I saw Luna looking as if she was about to kill something with her bare hooves.

“THIS INFERNAL GAME!! STOP SENDING THESE UNDEAD AT US LEST YE FEEL OUR WRATH!!” She yelled angrily at the T.V.

“RAGE QUIT I DARE YOU!” Church yelled from behind the kitchen counter of his room. Luna just flung the remote at Church before fuming as she died in the game. I walked over and sat down next to her before putting an arm around her.

“Calm down Luna! It’s just a game.” I said chuckling. She just glared at me before sighing.

“Sorry. It’s just we have been thinking about some things.” She said as she looked at the T.V.

“She missed! Which I’m ever so happy over.”

“Does thou wants us to try again!?” Luna bellowed at Church.

“Eh... Maybe?” Church questioned himself before holding up a frying pan. “Let’s do this.”

Luna simply took the frying pan and smack him on the head with it. “There... We hit thou.” She said smiling smugly.

“Ouch. My head.” Church groaned. “That was so not fair.”

“Was I supposed to play fair?” Luna asked still smiling smugly.

“Eh, true enough, I never specified to be fair.” Church yet again groaned.

“Smart move there.” I said to Church still slightly chuckling.

“Oh shut up.” Church said looking at me. I just laughed a bit before looking at the T.V.

“Yo Church! Toss me the remote that got chucked at you!” I said looking at him.

“Okay.” Church said mindlessly before picking up the remote and chucking it at me. I caught it but fumbled to hold to it and was smacking it up in the air trying to catch it.

“Shit!... Shit!... Shit!... HA!” I yelled as I finally caught it. “Suck on that slinky!”

Luna just shook her head before getting up and going to the kitchen to grab a drink or something. I just started up a new game of Zombies and played some Tranzit. I played until I got to round five and kept kept getting awful weapons for the Random Box. Finally I got a DSR 50 and I was running around like a maniac trying to get points to grab different gun.

“A fuck this! I am just snipe!” I said in frustration. I began to quickscope and much to my surprise, I actually did fairly well and began to get a little too into the game. “Quick scope!....Quick scope!....Quick scope!....Quick scope!... FUCK.” I yelled out as I eaten by a Zombie. “Well that sucks.”

I looked to Luna, whom was sitting next to me and enjoying a coke, and smiled. “I did decent if I say so.” I said. She just shrugged and I looked to Church. Who was asleep in a chair.

“Well then. That was eventful.... Soooo... What we do now?” I said looking to Luna who tapped her chin and smiled evilly at me. “Uuuuuh... What with the evil smile?”

“We have one thing that comes to mind.” She said leaning towards me. I tilted my head until my eyes widened.

“Oh....” I looked at Church before saying. “Um... Shouldn’t we go somewhere else before we do this?”

Luna just sighed and nodded before looking to the bathroom and dragging me into the bathroom. ‘Welp this is one way to pass the time.’

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

After a rather eventful time with Luna, Luna and me had walked out. She was slightly wobbling, and went to the bed to take a nap while I walked panting and immediately went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water before chugging the water till the bottle shriveled up comically. I let in a small gasp as I finished the bottle of water and threw it away before I walked back to the couch and sat down still panting slightly.

“That... Was the best way to pass the time..... Ever. Of all time.” I said leaning back. “Wait where is shirt?.... And I bored!”

Church somehow, was rolling around on the floor, presumably dreaming... He was mumbling something about his brain not making any sense whatsoever. I just moved forward a little and kicked his side a bit.

“Oi! Church wake up!” I said.

He just rolled around more, not giving a fuck. I just sighed a bit and legit kicked him this time. “OI! Church! Your energy drinks are on fire!” I yelled.

“SHIEEEEIT!” Church yelled out as he bolted up and out of the room. I just blinked before shaking my head and going to the bathroom before grabbing my T-shirt and looking out into the hallway.

“Church! I was kidding!” I yelled after him.

“SHIIIIIEEET!” Was the only thing that was heard after him. I put my hand on my chin before walking back into the room and pulling a E-drink out of the fridge. Luckily it was one of Church’s favorites. It was blue mana potion style energy drink.

Then I walked over to the door and stuck the drink out the door and twisted the cap off showing a peel off tab. Shrugging, I pulled the tab off before a strange smell hit my senses.

“What the fuck are you doing.” Church asked in front of me, rather loudly too.

“Well... Now I know how to get your attention.” I said smiling. “You were talking about your brain not making sense and scream shit all over the hotel.”

“Well, someone said my ‘shit’ was on fire.” Church said.

“That’s what you get for not waking. Also don’t use bathroom.” I said handing him the drink and walking back inside.

“What you take dump or sex or something?” Church said holding the bottle.

“Sex yes. Everything else no.” I said taking a seat on the couch.

Church just shook his head before chugging down the drink in one sweep. He shuddered a bit because of the taste but then he just went back to normal. I just shook my head as well before picking up the game remote up. As I picked up the remote again, there was a rather loud ‘CRACK’ that came from outside the door. Needless to say I yelped and jumped three feet in the air.

“DA FUQ!?” I yelled out falling onto the ground. Church was somehow in the kitchen and raiding the fridge before he looked to me and laughed a little. I gave him a quick glare before looking to the door as it was flung off it’s hinges. Not literally, but damn near close.

What I saw made me more confused than anything in my life. I saw Luna looking rather ragged, with a expression of rage, and her eyes burned with a fire of vengeance. “WHERE. IS. SHE!?” She bellowed in anger as she stomped inside.

'Oh shit.'

Author's Note

The next chapter is going to be a real zinger. Just warning ya. This was pretty much the build up.

Chapter 22: A bit of a shit storm

Chapter 22
A massive s**t storm

Luna walked into the room looking rather pissed off. I mean like the kind where if you get in her way, she will hurt you regardless of who you are. She stomped right up to me with anger apparent in her voice. She picked me up with magic and brought me straight to her face with her eyes still glaring.

“We said... WHERE.... IS.... SHE!?” Luna bellowed at me. I struggled in her magical grip for a moment before I finally responded.

“W-who are you talking about, Luna?” I asked freaking out quite a bit. Luna just growled and made me look directly at her.

“WE AM TALKING ABOUT NIGHTMARE MOON!!” Luna bellowed again. I just flinched and then looked at her quizzically. Then I somehow managed to put two and two together and got the answer.

“Ho-Ly... Fuck.” I muttered before freaking out a bit. “HOLY FUCK!! I just cheated on Luna with her alter ego!!”

“You did WHAT!?” Luna yelled. I just flinched and pointed to the room.

“Nevermind that now! Just go! She is in there!!” I said before Luna dropped me and stomped over to the room. I simply sat there not knowing what to do. “.... I just slept with my marefriend’s alter ego... How the fuck does that work?”

With that I got off the ground and made my way to the door, seeing Church on the kitchen floor... Asleep.

“Damn it Church.” I muttered as I will walk over to the room where I heard several things being thrown around. I slowly walked over to the door and began to slowly open said door. But before I could open the door it was, quite literally, ripped off it’s hinges and thrown to the other side of the room. Through the doorway, I saw Luna with the most pissed off expression I could have never even imagined coming from her.

On the other side of the room I saw Nightmare moon, still in Luna’s form, cowering with her back near the wall and a door stuck in the wall to the left of her. Luna slowly began to walk over to Nightmare, which is getting harder and harder to tell who is who, before she stopped in front of her and picked her up with magic.

“Now Nightmare Moon... For coming back with bad intentions. For coming back and stealing my life. FOR COMING BACK. AND SLEEPING. WITH MY COLTFRIEND. We are going to get rid of you once and for all.” Luna growled out before she dropped Nightmare Moon and her horn began to glow much brighter than normal.

“Luna please don’t do this!” Nightmare Moon began to beg. Luna did stop for a moment before she glared and shot Nightmare Moon with a spell that changed her back to her normal form.

She was a tall black mare with cat-like eyes and a flowing mane that was much darker than Luna’s. Although she was not wearing any regala like Luna or Tia and she did have a nice set of fangs under her upper lip. Then I thought of where Tia was in this mix before I looked to the bed and saw her just laying there still sleeping. I sighed and shook my head before I looked to Luna who was preparing to finish Nightmare Moon off once and for all.

“Please! Luna! I just want to change! Like Discord! Please give me another chance!!” Nightmare begged again as Luna neared her with the spell at it’s full charge.

“And you thought that taking over ourlife and having sex with our coltfriend was the way to announce that!?” Luna yelled at Nightmare who simply cowered even more.

“Well you try going a thousand years without relief!” Nightmare objected before a blast of magical energy scorched the ground in front of her, making her silence herself.

‘Why isn’t she fighting back? She doesn’t WANT to die does she?’ I thought. Nightmare was still cowering as Luna got right next to her and glared, one that quite literally made me shiver in fear for a moment. Nightmare Moon began to panic as her horn glowed for a moment before it just fizzled out, shooting off a few sparks.

“Uh oh...” Nightmare whispered as she saw the sparks fall in front of her eyes. Luna just grinned evilly herself before she she was about to let the spell loose, I walked in and did the stupidest thing. I knocked on the door frame. Both Luna and Nightmare looked at me with confused expressions. I just chuckled nervously before I walked in and got next to Luna.

“Um... Luna? Are you sure you want to kill her?” I asked cautiously. Luna just snorted in disbelief for a moment before she stared at me.

“You want her to live!? After what she did?!” Luna yelled which caused me to flinch. “Slayer she took over my appearance and slept with you!!... And you want her to live!?”

“Luna, look... I know what she was before, she was a total monster.” I said before Nightmare cut in.

“Hey!”

“Shut it bitch!” I yelled glaring and pointing a finger at her making her close her mouth and quiet down. Then I looked back to Luna.

“Nyeeeh.... Quiet... Down....” Church mumbled in his sleep. I simply shook my head before sighing.

“But if this is the worst she is gonna do and she REALLY does want to change like... who ever he was.” I said.

“Discord.” Luna said.

“Thank you. Anyway... If she does want to change. Then I say at least give her a chance.” I said putting my arms around Luna. “Come on... If she doesn’t change at all, then you can blast her back to the pits of hell she came from.”

“Okay now that is just hitting below the belt.” Nightmare muttered and slightly shook in fear from my statement.

“B-but... She’s evil!” Luna protested. I just sighed.

“Wasn’t that Discord guy evil?” I argued. Luna was about to say something before she simply sighed and glared at Nightmare.

“Fine..... We will not destroy her...” Luna said and Nightmare gave a silent cheer. “Yet.” And then she stopped cheering. “We are going to have to talk this over with our sister. When she wakes up that is.”

“Can’t you wake her up now?” I asked looking to Tia whom still was sleeping.

“Slayer... She didn’t wake up when we through a door into the wall... We don’t think she is going to wake up.” Luna said nudging me playfully.

“Right... So what do we do about Nightmare?” I asked looking to the solid black Alicorn that was visibly relaxed until Luna looked to her as well. Luna glared at her again.

“We are going to have to find a way to keep her here until Tia wakes up.” Luna said rubbing her chin with a hoof. Nightmare Moon simply sat there still terrified that Luna might slaughter her. “We are going to do this.”

Before anyone could say ‘what?’, she zapped Nightmare with some random spell before watching her fall to the ground limp. I just stared wide eyed at what just happened. “What the hell Luna!?” I yelled looking to Luna.

“Relax Slayer... She is simply knocked out. And for a while at that.” Luna said calmly. “And now... We are going to have a talk about what happened.”

“Oh no...” I muttered in slight fear.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(A agonizing half hour later)

“And that is all that happened... Luna I am so sor-” WHAP. “.... I deserved that. And-” WHAP WHAP. “Okay now maybe I deserved that too, but seriously Luna, it’s not like-” WHAP WHAP WHAP. “ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALREADY I AM SORRY!” I yelled as Luna was pelting me with her shoe covered hoof. She seemed pleased with my apology and explanation. To be honest I was expecting her to lash out like a whip when I told her that Nightmare tricked me into having a bit of.... Private time with her. But she kept her cool through the entire thing. ‘Thank god. That is over.’

I looked over to the coach were Nightmare Moon was tied up and still unconscious. With a sigh I leaned back in the recliner I was sitting in and whined a bit as I felt the bruises that Luna gave my jaw. “Ooooww...” I whined out.

“Oh stop your whining. We could have done much worse. And we should have if not for one minor detail.” Luna said glaring at Nightmare Moon.

“And that would be?” I asked still rubbing the bruise on my face.

“Nightmare Moon is practically us in a sense. Seeing as we were the same pony once until Twilight and her friends separated us. Sooo.... We guess what we are trying to say is you pretty much cheated on us with ourself.” Luna said nodding in confirmation.

“Soooo... Wait what?” I asked tilting my head. Luna sighed and put a hoof to her forehead.

“Pretty much you had sex with us.... Just a different body.” Luna said dumbing it down for me.

“Oooooh.... Still that is weird.” I said. “I mean... It would be awesome if she wasn’t evil because then I would have two Lunas to love.”

“Aww you are so sweet!” Luna said smiling before frowning. “But you are still in trouble.”

“Aw damn. You have foiled my plans!” I said with a dramatic throwing of my arm around my eyes. Luna suppressed a giggle and her lips quivered in a failing attempt to not laugh. I grinned inwardly before continuing. “Oh woe is me! Oh woe is me! Without my plan I have nothing but my looks and charm to try and dissuade my princess of my treacherous decepticons!”

“Pffft... S-Stop that!” Luna said continuing to do her failing frown. I just continued by flopping out of my chair and laying on the ground while putting a clenched hand over my heart.

“Oh take my shame and take my misery, so that I may be purged of my heathen like ways!” I continued before putting a hand on Luna’s hoof and giving her my best beggar's face. “Oh mistress of the night! Take my love and run me through! For I dare not even breath the air around you as I am impure with guilt, shame, and disgrace!!”

“Slayer! Stop! We can’t be mad at you when you act like this!!” Luna somewhat yelled while using all her will to not giggle.

“I PLACE MY LIFE IN YOUR WISE HOOVES IN HOPES THAT-” I began before Luna quickly tackled me to the ground and kissed me effectively silencing me. She stopped before laughing out loud as I rolled my eyes.

“Y-you...” Luna paused for a snicker. “Aren’t in trouble anymore, but we are still mad at you.”

“That I can deal with.” I said smiling and hugging the pony on top of me. Before a sleepy alicorn shuffled out of the bedroom, trying to cover a yawn up with her hoof. “Oh hey Tia! Glad to see your finally awake.”

She just mumbled something and waved at me before she walked over to the couch and sat down next to Nightmare, whom was still passed out and slightly drooling. ‘Is it just a alicorn thing to drool or do all ponies do that?’

Celesita simply yawned again before she looked to her side and saw Nightmare Moon laying beside her. She yawned again and slightly leaned against Nightmare before her head slowly began to droop as she tried to stay awake. Before we knew it, Celestia had slumped down next to Nightmare Moon and had fallen asleep again. Nightmare, in her sleep induced state, gently wrapped on of her hooves around Celestia’s chest before pulling her a bit closer. Both Celestia and Nightmare let out a happily sigh as I was suppressing a rather loud laugh that was brewing inside of me.

“Slayer.... Don’t.” Luna warned as she herself was trying not to burst into laughter. I simply nodded before pulling out my phone and quickly taking a picture. Quickly saving the photo, I put my phone back before walking over and quickly shaking Celestia awake.

“Hey. Tia! Wake up.” I said gently. Tia simply swatted at me before I gently took Nightmare’s hoof off of her and gently shook her again. This time, Celestia quickly wrapped her hooves around me and dragged me down. She then gave me a deep kiss, when she broke it she mumbled something before releasing me and saying.

“You are not Churchy... Go away.” And waving a dismissive hoof. I blinked for a moment before looking to Luna and saying.

“That was not my fault.” I said pointing a finger a Tia. Luna simply nodded and sighed.

“Tia does that to anyone who tries to wake her. That is why we have a stick... Or we just pinch her at the base of her wings, making them extend and propel her off the bed.” Luna said with a snicker.

“Hmm....” I mused before I walked over and did exactly as Luna said. Pinched behind her wings. Probably shouldn’t have been standing in front of her.

Her wings extended, like advertised, but the part she didn’t tell me was how hard and fast she moved. It ended up with me getting 220 pounds of Celestia on top of me, with me struggling to breath. Celestia was busy waking up though.

“Huh? Wha? What is under me?” Celestia said looking down and seeing me, purple and still gasping.

“Can’t!” I let in a gasp for air. “BREATH!!”

“Oh I am not that big in the back am I?” Tia said looking at her rump while I continued to die of oxygen loss.

“Sister. You’re killing Slayer.” Luna said facehoofing. Celestia looked down and saw me before blushing and getting off quickly. As she got off my chest, I let in the biggest gasp I have ever had in my life.

“Okay I am not that big!” Celestia whined out again looking at her flanks. “Am I?”

“Tia don’t mind that now. We need to have a serious conversation that doesn’t involve your weight, flanks, or anything else that doesn’t pertain to what we are talking about!” Luna said grabbing Tia’s face and making her look at her.

“... Alright? What are we talking about?” Tia asked. Luna then turned Tia’s face to Nightmare Moon.

“That.” Luna said simply.

“Oh it’s just Nightmare Moon.... OH CRAP IT’S NIGHTMA-” Luna quickly clamped Tia’s mouth shut as Tia’s scream of surprise became muffled.

“Yes it is!” Luna quietly hissed. “And unless you want the whole hotel to know, then please keep quiet!”

Tia nodded before Luna let her go. She wiggled her nose a bit from the discomfort before she looked back at Nightmare. “So how is she even alive?” Tia asked. “I thought the elements purged her.”

“Well technically they did.” Luna said. “But we are assuming since the elements were never made to kill, but to entomb or purify that instead of simply turning us to stone like Discord, they merely separated us effectively turning Nightmare here into her own being. Thusly not only giving her life, but emotions and other normal pony traits.”

“Well that’s fucking stupid.” Church muttered from the Kitchen, now awake. “Stupid ponies with their peace and shit... Don’t even have fucking guns.” He just kept muttering.

“Actually they have crossbows.” I said to Church.

“Fucking crossbows.” Church muttered out angrily.

“So in short she is just another pony that... SOMEHOW... Regrets what she has done?” Celestia asked while Luna nodded.

“Okay I have a question.” I said getting up and walking over to Luna. “If she is her own being, then how come she can’t use magic? She has a horn doesn’t she?”

“Well yes, but Nightmare Moon was fueled by hatred. And being separated severed the link that she had off of us an-” Luna began before I had to interrupt.

“Okay babe please dumb it down for me because you are simply confusing me at this point.” I said putting a hand to my blood deprived brain filled head.

“... Alright. Pretty much. She fed off of my anger and now that she can’t eat my hate she can’t do magic.” Luna summed up.

“Oooooooooohh.” I said nodding understandingly.

“Right. So what do we do about her?” Tia asked pointing to Nightmare.

“Well she said she wanted a second chance to change like discord...” Luna began. “But we are still debating over whether or not to give it to her.”

“What do you mean?” Tia asked.

“She is a being of pure hatred. It seems more like a waste of effort than an actual reason to keep her alive.” Luna said glaring at Nightmare.

“That was pretty dark Luna.” Tia said looking upon her sister.

“Tia she took over my mind, made me fight you, and got me banished only to come back before knocking you out, attacking ponyville, then getting me back to normal BEFORE coming back again to sleep with my boyfriend and attempt to take over my life!!” Luna growled out. “So yes. Around her, we are going to be a little grim.”

“It’s like Pac man... Being chased by blue ghosts!” Church said with a face that screamed mother of god.

“Right... But Luna think of it like this. If we could keep Discord in check, then I think that we can keep a magicless oversized horned pegasus in check.” Tia said smirking before frowning. “But there is one problem. The elements can’t take her in because they are spread out. With Applejack and Fluttershy on earth, we can’t simply call them back. The transporting here is a rather time consuming effort. Luna, neither you or me can watch after her because of all the business we both need to take care of. And Discord would be of no help.”

“Okay seriously who is this Discord guy? I have only heard about him like... Three times.” I said confused. “And wait a minute. If you guys can’t take care of her.... And this Discord fellow is not gonna help. That only leaves...... Oh no.”

“Oh yes.” Celestia said with a smirk.

“Oh god.” I said putting my face in my hands. That is when Nightmare decided to wake up. With a few grunts and a, somehow, adorable, fanged yawn, she drowsily looked at me, then Tia, then Luna before she realized what was going on.

“Oh no.” She whimpered out as she tried to move, but her binds held her in place. “Oh now that is just over compensating.”

“Yeah that is what I said.” I mumbled before Luna gave me a ‘look’ and Nightmare just sighed and gave a nervous... Very nervous smile.

“S-so? H-Have you m-made a decision?” She stuttered out. ‘Well that is one thing she gained from being her own being. Fear.’

“Yes we have, Nightmare.” Luna began with a forced smile. “We... Have decided to let you live and stay in Equestria.”

Nightmare’s face lit up instantly revealing her fangs. “Really!? Oh tha-”

“Don’t thank us just yet Nightmare.” Luna hissed making Nightmare cringe, she quickly untied Nightmare with her magic and let her drop to the ground from her legs having no blood in them yet. Nightmare let out a small whine of pain which made Luna snicker with delight. “No, you are going to be trained on the proper way to fit into society.”

“Alright. By who? You?” Nightmare asked with a bit of fear. Luna simply shook her head making Nightmare release a pent up breath. “Then who? Celestia?”

Tia shook her head. “Discord?”

Both Luna and Tia shook their heads. “Then who?”

Tia and Luna looked to me before Nightmare soon followed. “... You have to be kidding.”

“Oi. Shut up. I don’t like it anymore than you do.” I grumbled Luna simply nuzzled me in response before I sighed. “But! Since Luna and Tia are swamped with work and this Discord fellow is apparently too....”

“Chaotic sweetie.” Luna put in.

“Thank you, so yeah. That is why I volunteered to look after you.” I said.

“Plus!” Luna but in. “Since you, Slayer, are going to be helping her out and we can’t have her constantly leaving the castle... You are going to have to stay at the castle for a bit.”

“Is that for me, her... Or you?” I said with a smug grin that Made Luna blush before she punched me hard. “Oooooww.”

“Oh hush up.” Luna said.

“Anyway.” I said rubbing my shoulder. “... Yeah. I guess I will be helping put you back into society... And maybe! If we both can tolerate each other. This will go faster that we anticipated.”

“FUCKING EVERYTHING!” Church yelled out slamming the fridge door shut. “GAAAH! MY FINGER!”

“... Damn it Church. The first thing you say when you wake up.” I said facepalming while Nightmare was finally able to stand. “More importantly what do we do about her?”

“Well... Simple. We teleport all of us to the castle. Including you, Church.” Luna said looking to Church. “We need someone to watch Nightmare, so that if she tries to make a move on slayer again she won’t succeed.”

“FUUUUUUUCK!” Church yelled out.

“Oh don’t complain!... I have to deal with her!” I said pointing my thumb at Nightmare.

“Hey!... I am not that bad!”

“Oh quiet you, fool.” I said to her. Church just promptly flipped me off then waved the bird at me. “Well that was uncalled for.”

“I had a bad fucking morning!” Church said.

“It’s... Four in the afternoon.” I said looking at my watch.

“BAAAD MORNING!” Church said again.

“Oh shut up and grab a energy drink!” I yelled at him.

“YOU CAN’T MAKE ME, MOOOOM.” Church said.

“... Want me to put you in a timeout?” I said only half serious.

“....” Church just remained quiet before walking over to the fridge again and this time, grumbling. “Fucking Slayer and his stupid shit.”

“That’s it. Time out.” I said pointing to the room. “Go.”

“Fuck you! No! Go to hell!”

“Church! Don’t make me count to three!” I threatened.

“TEN.” Church yelled out.

“Oooooone.” I began.

“Fifty!” Church yelled.

“Twooooo.” I kept going.

“GO DIE!” Church muttered out angrily.

“Thre-” I began.

Then Church threw a bottle of liquid butter at me. “EAT BUTTER! THE LIQUID KIND!”

“I prefer it on my toast thanks.” I said ducking and letting the bottle smack into something else.... Well someone.

“Eeeeew! What is this!?” Nightmare whined out.

“Butter.” I said looked to Nightmare then back to Church. “Now Church just drink a energy drink and calm the fuck down.

“No fuck you! You can’t command me.” Church said as he took out a bread slice, he then took out the butter package. he then ripped the lid of and jabbed the toast in the roaster.

“... You’re not gonna do what I think you’re gonna do are you?” I asked.

Then the roaster ejected the slice of bread, which Church caught the slice mid air, before slamming it down on the counter and then grabbing the package of butter.

“You are so overdramatic. And you better not-” I began before he flipped the package and just pressed all the butter out on one piece of toast. “Oh you ass hole.”

He then picked it up and took a bite. “It’s tastes fucking buttery.”

“... That is gross.” Nightmare said sticking her tongue out disgusted.

“Oh for the love of.. Luna just get us out of here.” I said facepalming before Luna’s magic went ‘Pop’. Next thing I knew, we were in the middle of the dining hall with Cadance, Shining, that asshole blueprick, and... The strangest mixed n’ matched creature I have ever laid eyes on... Other than the platypus.

“... Hi?” I said questioningly.

“Oh so those are the two humans you and Tia talk about so much!” The strange mix-matched creature said.

“Hey... I smell hatred.” Nightmare said sniffing the air. Everyone simply looked at her. “What? I was made from hate. I’m sure as tartus know what it smells like.”

“Fucking butter.” Church grumbled loudly before taking another bite and chewing it quickly. “Fucking marble floor.”

“Oh that was it.” Nightmare said nodding. Everyone was still staring at her. “What?”

“Um... Aunt Luna? Why is Nightmare Moon in the middle of the Dining hall?” Cadance asked.

“Why do I feel as if shenanigans are about to happen?” The mix-matched creature said Then he flew... Yes flew over to me and held out his lion paw. “Names Discord by the way.”

“Oh... So you are that guy I am hearing so much about.” I said smiling and shaking his hand.

“You heard stuff about me? I am flattered!” Discord said smiling.

“Well... Mostly bad stuff.” I said cringing a bit.

“Aw.” He said deflating... No like literally deflating before his... airless? Corpse fell to the ground.

“The fuck?” I said looking at his body before a arm raised up and discord began to blow into his thumb making his body reinflate. “Well that’s new.”

“Also! I have heard stuff about you!” Discord said as he was... Normal again.

“Really?” I asked with genuine surprise.

“No, not really. Sorry.”

“Aw....” I whined.

“But I have heard about that guy... Who is currently glaring at blueblood and eating a small mound of butter.” Discord said looking at Church. “More importantly why is he almost exploding with chaotic energy?”

“I would say it would be because of a bad morn-” I began before Church suddenly stood up and dramatically threw his half eaten mound of butter toast directly at Blueblood. Who just looked at it just as it splattered all over his face. In that moment I did the only thing I could think.

I pointed at Blueblood and smiled. “Ha.”

Author's Note

HEEEEEY Everybody and pony! Sorry this took so long. Also...
I did this myself. except Church dialogue.

Chapter 23: FINALE!

Chapter 23:
Nightmare’s First lesson.

Slayer, Church, Nightmare, Discord, Celestia... Everyone in the dining hall was laying somewhere on the marble floor, except for the guards. All of them panting and covered in random assortments of food and breakfast all of which was at the fault of Church. And his bad morning. With Slayer and Luna laying next to each other, Celestia and Church cuddling under the table, Discord hanging from the ceiling and then theres Blueblood. Who was currently buried under tons and tons of random food items. One in peculiar happened to be a cake.

“That...” Slayer began giving a small huff. “... Was quite an interesting way to start a morning... Other than the obvious.”

Luna simply giggled and looked at the destruction of the dining hall with all the stonic guards simply standing there. Doing nothing. Most of them covered in food. Luna let out a small laugh before looking around and seeing Church under the table. “Feeling any better Church?” Luna asked still giggling.

“No, still fucking mad.” Church grumbled.

“Oh please. No one can be mad after a food fight...” Slayer said before pointing to Blueblood. “Besides! Look at Blueprick! Doesn’t that make you just a little happy?”

Church just looked up from the floor and at blueblood, who was covered in food. He glared intently at him for five minutes before asking. “Who the fuck is he anyways?”

“A total asshole.” Slayer said laying his head back down.

“Well I can’t find a fuck to give about him.” Church grumbled out.

“Can anyone for Blueblood?” Slayer asked. Then everyone even a few of the guards said.

“Nnnnnope.”

“Case in point.” Slayer said smiling. “Sooooo... Is he still pissed?”

“YEAH!” Nightmare said from behind a tapestry. “I can smell it from here. Seriously what wrong with him?”

“A bad FUCKING MORNING THATS WHAT!” Church yelled out.

“THEN GO BACK TO BED GOD DAMN IT!” Slayer yelled back.

“WELL I WOULD BUT WE ARE IN THE FUCKING CASTLE SO I CAN’T NOW CAN I?!” Church yelled at Slayer.

“Church. There is literally a bed. RIGHT THERE!” Slayer yelled back pointing to a bed in the corner.

“Hey look a donut.” Church said looking at the floor then picking it up, he then looked where Slayer was pointing and saw there was nothing there.

“What the fuck! You lying prick!” Church yelled.

“Oh fuck you Discord!” Slayer said flipping off the ceiling.

“Whaaaaat? What I do?” Discord said smiling innocently. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Ugh.” Slayer said sighing. “Church just steal a guest room.”

“Actually.... This is when all of the neighboring countries come for diplomatic relations... Here in Equestria...” Celestia piped in. Slayer just took a very deep breath before slipping over so he was face down. And pounding his forehead into the marble floor.

“Ow... Ow... Ow... Ow... Ow... Ow...” Was all that was heard for a good two minutes before Slayer sighed again. “Then use Tia’s room.”

“Can’t do that....”

“Why?” Slayer asked deadpanning.

“Luna kinda stole the key... And, well hid it... Otherwise I would be taking a nap right now...” Celestia said. Slayer just sighed and sat up while rubbing his aching forehead.

“Then go sleep on a park bench for all I care.” Slayer said sighing.

“Fuck you.” Church glaring at Slayer.

“Yeah fuck you too.” Slayer said leaning onto his knees.

Church just started grumbling to himself and moved over into a corner so no one could hear him. “Well... I’m going to go get cleaned up. I am starting to wreak of breakfast.” Slayer said standing up. “Where are the showers?”

“Oh just use our room.” Luna said tossing me a key with her magic. “And make sure that you keep an eye on Nightmare!”

“What? I am not taking her into that room while I am taking a shower!” Slayer slightly yelled.

“Then just lock the door.” Luna said plainly. “We are not looking after her and Celestia has Day Court.”

“Oh... Right.... About that.... Gimmie five minutes.” Celestia said quickly before darting off somewhere.

“It starts in three!” Luna yelled out after her.

“Shaaaaatuuuup!” Celestia yelled back in a echo.

“Right.” Slayer said looking at the door Tia had rushed out. Then he looked to Nightmare moon. “Oh for fucks sake, Fine! Nightmare! Come on!”

Nightmare just nodded and walked out from behind the tapestry and quickly followed behind Slayer as he walked out the door leaving Church, Luna, Cadance, and Shining Armor in the dining hall.

“Well this is awkward.” Cadance said sitting there with Shining armor, somehow not touched by all the flung food.

“Shut the fuck up.” a growl came from the corner

“Well that was ru-” Cadance began

“SHUT UP.” A louder one came.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(1 week later)

Today was the day of Nightmare’s first lesson in being put back into society. Slayer, Church, and Nightmare Moon were all sitting in Luna’s Game Room.

“So what are we doing here?” Nightmare asked looking around Luna’s Game Room.

“You are going to fucking die, that’s what.” Church growled out.

“Church, eat your pills.” Slayer said holding out a small medical bottle. Church just grabbed the bottle and shoved in his mouth before eating almost half of the bottle. He then spat it out and grabbed scalding hot coffee and drank it all in one chug.

“What... The buck?” Nightmare said looking at Church. Church just let out a small ‘phew’ before looking at Slayer.

“Now that, my friend... Fucking burned.” Church said before drinking a glass of water which was standing on the table. Slayer just shook his head before sighing and looking at Nightmare.

“Well Night, This is-”

“Night?” Nightmare deadpanned.

“Hey, I am not calling you Nightmare Moon or Nightmare every time I need your attention.” Slayer hissed before pointing to the T.V. “After a... FUCK load of persuading and promises, Luna decided to let us use her Game Room for this.”

“What’s so important about this room anyhow?” Nightmare asked looking around.

“Its a holy place I tell you! It contains games! Oh and why do I feel a minor annoyance?” Church asked.

“She is a being of pure hatred. She is gonna have that effect on ya.” Slayer said leaning back.

“Really? But... Why is she so fluffy and shit?” Church said touching Nightmare moon’s side.

“Hey! No touchy!” Nightmare said scooting away. “I don’t like being touched!”

“Soooo.. Don’t do this?” Slayer said leaning over and scratching behind one of her ears.

“I SAID NO- Oh goddess that feels good.” Nightmare said purring slightly and leaning into the scratching. Church just took out a note block and wrote down ‘Nightmare moon’s weaknezens... nr 1....Touching = Her either scooting away or purring and leaning into it.... Persumably cause Slayer is making a move on her.’

“Oh erase that.” Slayer said looking over Church’s shoulder.

“Stop peeking.” Church said closing the note block.

“Alright. Now like I was saying. First thing you need to know is technology.” Slayer said pointing to the Xbox now. “And what better technology to start with than Videogames!”

“I would say, fucking touch screens.” Church said holding up his phone.

“Oh quiet you fool.” Slayer said grabbing three remotes from the table in front of them. He leaned back and handed one to Church then one to Nightmare who was pouting all of a sudden.

“What’s with that face?” Slayer asked.

“You stopped.” She said still pouting.

“You mean the ear scratching?” Slayer asked before Nightmare nodded. “Well too bad. I ain’t doing it again.” Nightmare just huffed before picking the remote up. Church was just slowly bringing up the note block with a pen to his face.

“Put it away.” Slayer said quickly. He quickly scribbled something down before putting it away.

“God damn it.”

“Ju-... Just gimmie the damned note block!” Slayer said to Church.

“No! Go way!” Church said, being all defensive.

“You’re drawing porn aren’t you?” Slayer said seriously.

“Uh.... N-.... Yeah, of Lyra.” Church said casually.

“... OH GOD THE IMAGES!” Slayer yelled falling to the ground clutching his head. “Why did I ask? WHY!?”

“Cause you are stupid.” Church said.

“No, you!” Slayer said pointing a finger at Church.

“No... You!” Church said pointing back.

You can imagine where this lead. Five minutes later.

“No you.” Slayer said firmly.

“Naaaah You!” Church said, holding his verbal ground.

“Imma hafta say it’s you.” Slayer said nodding his head.

“Dishornorung our wourds, Ish yooo!” Church said with a asian accent.

“DUDE! That is so racist!” Slayer said gaping at Church then going back to normal. “No you.”

“YOU’RE BOTH BUCKING STUPID NOW SHUT UP!” Nightmare screams.

“See, she loves you.” Church said while Nightmare blushed.

“What? Da fuq that have to do with anything?” Slayer asked.

“I dunno.” Church said shrugging before adding. “I feel like the third wheel here.”

“Oh shut up you fool.” Slayer said getting back on the Church.

“Just hand me the fucking happy pillies again... Starting to get pissed.” Church said.

“They are in your hand.” Slayer deadpanned.

“Oh...” Church said before almost swallowing the whole bottle.

“Can we get on with this... Whatever it was on with?” Nightmare asked looking very impatient.

“Yes.” Slayer said rubbing his forehead. Unbeknownst to them Church wrote down that Nightmare is very impatient, and that the sky is blue.

“What the fuck are you even writing?” Slayer asked.

He even wrote down ‘Slayer spat out “What the fuck are you even wirtinghrewhres oh I’m stupid and in love with my girlfriends alter ego! Oh so all high and mighty!’

“You are insulting me in your book aren’t you?” Slayer deadpanned again.

“No no nono no noooo.... PFFFHTYEAH!” Church said happily.

“Well fuck you too then.” Slayer said turning to the T.V. and grabbing the remote. He turned it on and used the Xbox remote to sign in to Luna’s console.

“Oh right... Game time......” Church said grabbing the pill bottle again and cramming it down his own throat, he emptied the bottle before throwing it away.

“Jesus... Easy on the pills dude... Those are expensive.” Slayer said not really caring.

“Eh put’em on celly’s tab.” Church said before opening another bottle.

“Alright. First game we play! Gears of War!” Slayer said happily.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(15 minutes later)

“OH DEAR CELESTIA WHY DID YOU JUST JAM YOUR GUN INTO HIS CHEST CAVIT- OH GODDESS YOU JUST RIPPED HIM IN HALF!!” Nightmare screeched at Slayer in horror. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?”

Slayer just sighed and paused the game causing Nightmare to get extremely confused. “B-b-but! I just saw all that gore! All those creatures slaughtered mercilessly!” Nightmare babbled out.

“Night. It’s just a game. Not real.” Slayer said calmly. Making Nightmare stutter. A lot.

“B-but! I-I-I-it!-”

“Nightmare calm down! Seriously you are acting crazy!” Slayer laughed. Church had lost all interest after playing for about ten minutes so he had picked up a comic book and started reading. “Maybe Gears of War wasn’t the best game to start with.”

“Yeah... No kiddin’.” Church muttered.

“Nightmare looks fine to me.” Slayer said looking ot Nightmare whom was slack jawed, eyes twitching and slightly foaming at the mouth. And again, Church had flung the comic book in the air and pulled out his note block, then scribbled down a few words that said ‘Slayer definitely got the hots for Nightmare Moon.’ before catching the comic book and putting away the note block.

“You just picked up your note block didn’t you?” Slayer said without even looking.

“Nah, this comic is really good.” Church said casually. Slayer just shook his head and walked over to the Xbox before opening the tray and pulling out the disc before putting the disc away and opening the game drawer that was directly under Luna’s Xbox.

“Alright what game we play?” Slayer said looking through the massive amount of games that Luna had accumulated. Church just kept reading his comic book because of the many happy pills he had taken, so he had stop caring about everything basically and just felt happy.

“Um Slayer? Something might be wrong with Church.” Nightmare said looking at Church.

“Naw he is fine.” Slayer answered before pulling out Halo 4 and putting it in the game system.

“There we go!” Slayer said before walking over to the couch and sitting down. “Alright time to kill some aliens.”

“You are gonna kill more things!?” Nightmare screeched again.

“Calm down! It’s just a game damn it! I mean even the gore is going to be turned down. Like a lot.” Slayer said. “Alright. Now let’s play!”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(20 minutes later)

“Well I guess this isn’t so bad. I mean there aren’t limbs flying everywhere.” Nightmare said as she looked upon the game.

“Meh.” Church said as he was basically lying upside down in his chair. Slayer just shook his head before stretching a bit.

“Oh god!” Slayer said with a yawn. “I am tired. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to do this at midnight. I got tests in the morning back at scho- Zzzzzz.”

Slayer just fell backwards on the couch snoring a bit while Nightmare blinked. “What?” She asked no one in particular. “What just happened?”

Church, was pointedly not caring he was so busy messing around with his phone to take notice, but he then said. “You should totally snuggle with him.”

“You are just trying to ruin everything aren’t you?” Nightmare said.

“Yep... I’m not sure how long these happy pills will last, but they sure as hell are helping.” Church said.

“Right. And no.” Nightmare said shaking her head. “I am not going to snuggle against Slayer.”

That is when Nightmare slowly but surely began to lean towards Slayer. “Wait what’s going on?” She asked looking where she was leaning. “Wait no! I don’t want to do this! Help meeee!”

“Yeaaaa... Nope.” Church said typing away on his phone.

“Help meee!-Zzzzz.” She fell asleep as soon as she hit Slayer’s shoulder. She laid down against Slayer and nuzzled into his shirt before sighing happily.

“Well shit, all awake and alone.... Wonder if Luna is awake.” Church muttered as he got up and walked out of the room, somehow completely silently, not a single sound was made by him. “Now... Where the fuck do I go to get to the throne room?”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Half an hour later)

Luna was sitting on her throne looking over some document about a pony’s home being destroyed or something. She couldn’t tell. She just sighed and signed the paper before looking around the empty throne room.

“Welp. We are bored.” Luna deadpanned and hung her head in boredom. After a few minutes of doing basically nothing on the throne except looking at.... Whatever it was, she heard music from down the hallways, in fact it was the famous Battlefield 3 main theme. “We know that sound! It’s Battlefield three! Huzzah! How many points do I receive!?”

“Ten!” Church said from the open doorway. “So what’s up Queen of the night?” Church yelled out.

“Oh hello Church! How are you?” She asked smiling. ‘Finally, something happens.’

“I am... Quite happy, just don’t know how to express it, anyhow... You need to improve your flying skills in Battlefield three.” Church said.

“Oh hush up you! Not our fault that we have never driven a car before!” Luna said defensively.

“I said flying skills not driving.” Church said correcting her.

“NOR HAVE WE FLOWN AN AIRCRAFT!” Luna said blushing a bit. “So other than mocking our flying and driving skills, what’s up?”

“I’ve crammed about four hundred and I would say... fifty pills of concentrated happiness... I’m pretty fine, decided to search you up to talk games since Slayer is busy teaching technology to Nightmare.” Church said.

“Oh and how is that going?” Luna’s expression turned dark for a moment. “She hasn’t broken anything right?”

“I might have broken something, not sure.” Church said.

“Oh you bitch.” Luna said glaring at Church.

“You love me.” Church said giving her the thumbs up. “Just like you love my team killing.”

“Only when it’s not me.” Luna said chuckling.

“Oh remember that match when I just so happened to kil-.” Church said with a chuckle.

“OH SHUT UP!” Luna yelled quickly.

“Fine be that way... Rage quitter.” Church said taunting her with a smug smile

“Oh quiet you fool.” Luna said glaring. “So other than you possibly breaking something and Nightmare being taught electronics, what else is going on in the world of ‘Training Nightmare’?”

“Well I’m going to hit level 90 in World of Equestria Mist of Tigearo.” Church said.

“Oh very nice.” Luna said nodding. “Anything else?”

“You started playing League of Legends yet?” Church asked.

“Eh...” Luna said lowering her head. “We don’t wanna. We have too many games already.”

“You can never have too much!” Church said before adding. “Just give it a try, I’ll duo cue with you, and once Slayer gets a better computer we can triple cue.”

“Alright?” Luna said unsure. “So how was Slayer fairing in teaching Nightmare?”

“They are snuggling on the couch.” Church said casually.

“...” Luna just blinked.

“Wait maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Oh well, ignore my last statement.”

“Too late.” Luna said before with one flap of her wings she was out the door and grabbing Church by under his arms and flying out the door.

“Whaaaaaat theee fuck Luna!? Why you do dis?!” Church asked in a pleading voice.

“We’re gonna kill her. That’s why.” Luna said simply as she sped down the halls.

“And whhhhy am I getting dragged along?” Church asked.

“Because we are gonna kill you afterwards. Then kill Slayer.” Luna said as she made a sharp turn.

“And why is that?” Church asked.

“Because Nightmare Moon is evil and trying to steal Slayer away from us, and you are gonna die because you should have told me sooner.” Luna said. “Or at least tried to stop it!”

“Huh.... Well.... That make no sense whatsoever.” Church said.

“Yes. Not hush up unless you want to be dropped onto a rug going over a hundred miles an hour.” Luna said simply.

“You love me … I know... And try to explain that to your sister.” Church said.

“We’ll say you tripped.” Luna said plainly.

“That sounds very believable.” Church said with sarcasm dripping of his words.

“Believe us when we say that Tia will believe anything if we just give her a slice of chocolate eclair cake.”

“Did you know, that I told that you did that?” Church said completely stonic.

“That.... What?” Luna said stopping and looking at Church whom was hanging by his armpits in her hooves, four stories high in the air. Church was looking literally stone, the happy pills and the awesome flight caused him to go into ‘Really High Guy’ mode thus making him incapable of proper speech. “...... Right.”

Luna just continued to speed off until she got to her Game Room.

“Nanananananana Thor!” Church sang as he couldn’t think right. Luna just shook her head before she floated to the ground and setting Church down.

“Now Church stay here. While we go and kill Nightmare before mangling Slayer.” Luna said smiling. “And then... Taking you to a hospital. You are starting to not look so good.”

“Right lane must Right left.” Church just said as he stumbled around. Luna just picked up Church before sitting him back down.

“No no, you just stay here. You hear us Church?” Luna said calmly.

“No it’s too dark.” Church whined.

“But we are in the middle of a... Oh nevermind just... Stay here or the demon cats will get you.” Luna said randomly.

“Can I get two medium large pizzas?” Church asked.

“Yes?” Luna said plainly before quickly pointing. “LOOK OVER THERE!”

Church just looked over to where Luna was pointing although very sluggishly, and said. “Look here is over there?”

There was a sudden zap before Church fell unconscious. “There. Now to deal with Slayer.”

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(The next day at the hospital)

The next day Church was lying in a hospital bed. Again. “So he did what now?” A doctor asked.

“He ate about ten bottles of those happy pills.” Slayer said simply with a medical patch over his left eye and his left arm in a brace and chest.

“Ah I see. So what happened you?” The doc asked.

“I fell asleep.” Slayer said simply.

“You fell asleep?” He repeated.

“Eeeyup.” Slayer said nodding.

“So how does tha-”

“I don’t know. One minute I am dreaming the next, I am against the wall as a chair smashed into me.” Slayer said shaking his head. “I think that I might have done something but I am unsure as to what I could have done. Maybe I sleepwalked and did something.”

“Right..... Anyway, you friend should be fine. He threw up most of the drugs on the way here. He just ne-” Slayer just nodded as the doctor began to ramble on about something.

“Okay! Now can we discharge him and leave?” Slayer said a bit impatiently.

“Who the fuck said that?” Church asked as he was sitting up and looking around, albeit very groggily.

“Over here.” Slayer said gesturing to him and the doctor.

Church craned his neck towards Slayer and looked at him for a few seconds before saying. “Why the fuck is a parrot talking?”

“There is no parrot here Church.” Slayer said deadpanning.

“What the fuck are you talking about you stupid talking parrot.” Church said narrowing his eyes.

“Like I said. MOST of the drugs. He will still be a little loopy for about an hour.” The doctor said.

“Shut up flying turtle, you have no say in this.” Church said pointing at the doctor.

“Alright? Come on Church! We are going.” Slayer said gesturing out the door with his right arm.

“Going where? Last time I went with a talking parrot I ended up serving in the navy, for a year.” Church said.

“Yeah... Just follow me. We are going back home.”

“Why do feel like you are lying?” Church said being all suspicious.

“Because you are all sorts of hopped up on drugs.” Slayer said chuckling.

“You are saying that there is treasure there?” Church said.

“Yes. That is exactly what I said.” Slayer said smiling.

“Huh... So now its donuts all of a sudden?” Church said looking confused.

“Are you getting out of that bed or am I gonna have to drag you out with my one good arm!?” Slayer slightly yelled.

“Why is this place so colorful? And happy? It disturbs me... Quite a lot.” Church asked as he looked around.

“Eh.... Don’t worry it will last for a hour.” Slayer said.

“LAST FOR AN ETERNITY? NOOOOOOOO!” Church screamed out as he put his hands on his head.

“Oh calm down.” Slayer said.

“NOOOO!” Church just kept yelling.

“Okay. Imma just grab Church and be on my way now.” Slayer said walking over and grabbing Church’s shoulder.

“NOO-... Oh hey Slayer!” Church said looking at Slayer.

“Oh... Well it wore off.” Slayer said shrugging.

“We are off to where?” Church asked.

“What? Oh nevermind. Just come on so we can leave this place.” Slayer said walking over to the door.

“Okie dooookie!” Church said, as he skipped after Slayer.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(Back in the dorms)

“So, what exactly happened?” Church asked.

“Well all I remember was falling asleep. Something snuggling my side, and then next thing I know, I am thrown into a wall and a chair broken over my body.” Slayer said shrugging.

“Why do I still feel minorly annoyed?”

“Because your drugs have worn off.” Slayer said simply.

“But I could have sworn...:” Church said, as he put a hand to his chin and started thinking.

“Oh no... Please no.” Slayer said as he walked over to his dorm and slowly opened the door. “Please don’t let who I think it is be there.”

He swung the door open to see Lyra sitting on the couch. “Sup Church? Sup Slayer?”

“Oh thank god.” Slayer said letting out a pent up breath. “For a second I thought tha-”

“Oh hello you two! Lyra let me stay here to wait for you.” Nightmare said happily walking out of the bathroom.

“GERONIMO MOTHER FUCKERS!” Church yelled out as ran into the room and threw himself over the couch, making Lyra jump off it and getting a bit scared.

“SON OF A BI--...... Grk.. Gk.. Rgggh.” Slayer slowly growled out as he walked in and straight to the kitchen. “I swear to god you make me so angry, that I might just hurt myself.”

“I drank all your soda!” Lyra said as she now was sitting on Church back.

“Oh fuck everything!” Slayers yelled out and smashing his head against the fridge door.

“But! There is one left right he-....” Lyra said as she lifted a soda can, which sadly was swiped by Church who quickly downed it. Slayer just let in a small hiss through his teeth before saying.

“Fuck you too then.”

“Sooooo... What do we do now?” Nightmare asked.

“How about another lesson? It’s called: Leave Slayer alone so he can sleep off his broken arm and damaged eye.” Slayer said gruffly.

“Reeegh, eeeh... Bleehh.” Church said as he somehow, almost fell asleep, with Lyra sitting on his back.

“Okay? What do I do?”

“Leave me alone. And let m-....” Slayer said walking to his room.

“TERRORIZE HIM!” Church yelled out before getting up, picking up Lyra, and throwing her at Slayer.

“What are you doiiiiEEEEE!!!” Lyra yelled as she was thrown. Lyra just smacked into Slayer’s back making him tumble face first into a wall.

“Ow. My eye.” Slayer said in pain.

“Ha! Take that!” Church said happily.

“Agh take your Lyra back.” Slayer said picking up Lyra and underhand tossing her back to Church.

“Why is everyone throwing meeeee!?” Lyra said as she was flung to Church.

Church just caught Lyra and stumbled back a bit before bringing her up to his face and saying. “Oh hello sweetie! You have arrived at your destination, but sadly its full! SO RETURN FLIGHT FOR FREE!”

“Oh no.” Lyra said simply. Church just tossed her back to the wounded Slayer.

“You know how it is to catch a pony with one hand?” Slayer said barely catching Lyra.

“Then lets make it a contest!” Church said with a giant smile.

“What you mean? I’m tired. And just want to sleep.” Slayer said.

“Whoever fails to catch Lyra first, will have to pay her medical bill and gets two hundred bucks.” Church said with smile.

“So wait. They pay the bill then get two hundred dollars?”

“If you want to go that way then sure. Or you can get it before hand THEN LOSE IT!” Church said.

“How about we just try not to drop her.” Slayer said simply before tossing Lyra over to Church.

“Where is the fun that?” Church said as he caught Lyra, who was looking utterly terrified.

“I don’t see why you guys have T.V. when you can be watching this.” Nightmare said giggling.

“Why are you guys doing this to me?!” Lyra asked before she was tossed to Slayer.

“You answer that.” Church said with a evil smile.

“How about whoever drops her first has to go out and get the new case of Soda?” Slayer said as he caught Lyra.

“Maybe.... or we could just have to do whatever Lyra says we should do for a month or so.”

“Make it a week then fine.” Slayer said simply. “If I lose I still need to go and help out Nightmare.”

“Hmm.... Maybe? I mean I’d rather not be a Lyra’s sex slave.” Church said.

“Oh please. You have a girlfriend and she knows that. It’s not like you two have made out before or anything.” Slayer said tossing Lya over to Church.

Church caught Lyra before putting her down quickly and started coughing a lot, I mean seriously, It looks like he’s coughing blood.

“Well then. You lost.” Slayer said walking to his room.

“Nope! Fucking cheater, Take this.” Church said as he threw Lyra again.

“You diiiiiiiick!” Lyra screamed out as Slayer caught her again only this time he just tossed her over to Church then ran into his room screaming.

“YOU LOST BITCH! I win!” Then he slammed the door shut.

“FUCKING CHEATER!” Church yelled out before coughing more, and this time he actually coughed up some blood. “Fukken drugs, ruining my body and all that crap.” Church said.

“Oh just go get a drink of water.” Nightmare said plainly. “So what do I do now?”

Church just whistled before Sita just came trotting in with a glass of water on her head.

“Well trained dog for the win!” Church said as he downed the glass of water greedily. “Also Slayer cheats.”

“Now that totally fair.” Nightmare said. “You put Lyra down. And that ended the game.”

>Insert Church reaction hereafter he thought for a while.<

“MOTHER OF ME STOP SCREAMING!” Nightmare said as she threw a pillow in Church’s face. Church just fell over and started snoring. “Oookay? What do I do now?”

Lyra just started to jump onto of Church’s chest while saying. “Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. “

Then she simply stopped and laid down on Church’s chest slightly panting. “Well that didn’t work... Hmm. He is very comfortabl-Zzzzz.” Poor Lyra had succumbed to the same fate as Church.

“Well... Now what?” Nightmare asked herself. “I could sleep... But with those two around I am more likely to go into a coma or wake up as the opposite sex. Soooo... Sleep somewhere else?”

She looked over at the room and sighed before walking over. The first room she picked was a bathroom and the second was Lyra’s room which was locked. The final room was Slayer’s but considering he almost got his body broken, that might not be a good idea. But then again, he was very snuggliable.

“Maybe... If she just never found out...” Nightmare mulled over her options before looking to the Couch and then to Slayer’s room. “.... Oh I will just say it was a prank from Church.”

With that she walked to the room and quietly opened the door before sneaking into the room where Slayer was laying face up with his glasses on the desk. She tip-hoofed over to the bed before slowly crawling into the bed and snuggling against Slayer’s side with a happy sigh.

“You really care for him like that?” A familiar voice said from the door causing Nightmare to jump up with a ‘EEP’ and landing, thankfully, in a pile of clothes so that she didn’t make any noise. She looked to the door and saw none other than Luna standing there with a conflicted expression. The conflict, which was easily noticeable, was of Anger, realization, sadness, and slight understanding.

“... No?” Nightmare responded smiling sheepishly.

“You know that we have permission to destroy you if you are deemed untrust worthly-” Luna began before Nightmare interrupted.

“Yes yes.” Nightmare said sighing in defeat. “But may I ask why you are here?”

“Well... We did kinda smash a chair over Slayer’s arm in a fit of anger.” Luna said looking away slightly ashamed.

“Oh like that is a big deal. If it was me, I would have probably done that then thrown him out a window.” Nightmare said plainly.

“Oh like you would have tha-... Oh right.” Luna said blushing a bit at her mistake. Nightmare just stifled a giggle before Slayer woke up stretching.

“What the hell is that breeze in my room?” He said stretching and looking to Luna. “Oh hey Luna!”

“Hello Slayer. Um... Aren’t you supposed to be mad at us?” Luna asked while Slayer waved his hand dismissively.

“Pfffft no. Why would I get mad at you? My arm is just broken. Not gone!” Slayer said smiling. “Okay maybe I am a bit mad that you overreacted, but hey! What am I gonna do?”

“You are on medication aren’t you?” Luna asked deadpanning.

“More than I probably should be on!” Slayer said smiling. “Also I am tired. Get over here so I can snuggle you!”

Luna just smiled and trotted over before laying on Slayer’s left side before nuzzling his neck while he put his arm around her. Nightmare just sighed at the happy sight before getting up and glumly walking to the door. “And just where are you going?” Slayer asked making Nightmare freeze.

“W-well... I was going to go find somewhere else to sleep.” Nightmare said shifting in place.

“Oh no you aren’t! Get over here and cuddle!” Slayer said smiling receiving a small glare from Luna.

“What?” She said with venom in her voice.

“Oh come on Luna.” Slayer said hugging Luna. “You have to get used to her eventually and I am not letting her go out there with Church and Lyra. You know what happened last time.”

Luna shuddered violently for a few seconds before nodding. “Not even us would wish that upon anyone. Alright fine. But! Just for this one night!” Luna said firmly.

“Alright you can get ove-” Slayer didn’t even finish the thought as Nightmare practically bounded over to the bed and laid against Slayer’s side and snuggling into his side. “Right. Well imma go to sleep now.”

Slayer let out a small yawn before laying his head down with his arm around Luna and Nightmare snuggling into his side. “I think...” Slayer began before letting out another yawn. “... I think we are all gonna get along just fine.”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)
(A single year later)

“NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT MAAAAAAAAAARE!!!” Slayer bellowed through the castle. “GET YOUR INK BLOTTED FLANK OVER HERE!!”

“NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!” Nightmare screeched as she was running down the halls with an enraged Slayer chasing after her.

“It’s too early for this, It’s always too early.” Church muttered as he casually walked after them.

Author's Note

Okay everyone! Thanks for all the support you guys have given me over the months!

The Alpha: Why the fuck am I still here? I’m FREE!

Oh like I kept on a leash.

The Alpha: Seriously, thank god that he took if off yesterday.

Oh shut up they don’t need to know that. Anyway!

The Alpha: I’M FREE AND I GET TO WRITE ANYTHING I WAAAAN-...

OH SHUT UP ALREADY! *SMACK*

The Alpha: Ow fuck... You dick.

Well you wouldn’t shut up. Anyway! Thanks for-

The Alpha: Well you wouldn’t stop being a dick.

*SMACK SMACK* Stop interrupting!

The Alpha: Son of a bitch.... *Slap*

*Pulls out newspaper and rolls it up.* Stay in your corner. Or the leash goes back on.

The Alpha: Okay okay, fukken douche.

Oh you love me.

The Alpha: No.

Yes.

The Alpha: Fuck off!

Nope! Anywho from me, Alpha-

The Alpha: WHO THE FUCK SAYS I WANT ANY-.

*SMACK* Shush! I am signing off here!

The Alpha: Fine.

Thank you.

The Alpha: Dickweed.

I do not smoke chicken! Stop saying I do!

The Alpha : Yeah yeah yeah

Anyway. From me, alpha-

The Alpha: Just say goodbye already.

IF YOU WOULD SHUT UP I WILL!

The Alpha: Slayer says goodbye and wishes all a happy new year!

… From the cast, Me and alpha. We say thanks. For supporting us and being all nice and stuff.

The Alpha: For what now?

For the stor-... For buying you ice cream.

The Alpha: *Puts on sunglasses and plays CSI: Miami theme* YEAAAAH

… Right. Thank everyone CYA IN THE SEQUEL!!

Another Q/A! With answers!

The Q/A!

Hello everyone reading this Q/A! Today I am joined by Slayer, Church, Hank, Brony, Lyra, Celestia, Luna, And finally!... Carla.....

“Hello! Thanks for tuning in!” Everyone said at the same fucking time.

Okay now before we begin I want to say THANK YOU VIEWERS! It’s awesome to be writing for you guys and I hope I continue to write even more! With that out of the way... Let’s get a move on! Alpha! Alpha? Alpha get in here!

there was a low humming in the background before the doors were opened by two security guards and a golf cart came rolling through.

“You called?” Alpha said.

Alpha... I know you got that as a gift, but you can’t have it in the studio.

“Hush up. I can have it where ever I want.” Alpha said pouting.

You want me to tell Molly about this?

“Mind looking over there for a second?” Alpha said pointing to a random wall.

Naw... How about you just go sit in your chair so we can begin this...

“Flash bang.” Alpha said throwing flash bang in the air causing a bright flash to happen in the studio. When it died down a few seconds later the golf cart was gone.

Ah... Alpha go sit down.

“Yes... With.... HEY LOOK A EMPTY COUCH!” Alpha said as he jumped in slow motion towards the couch.

Alpha... That’s just a painting.

“Noo!” Alpha said before he crashed into the wall, he got up and sat down in his recliner. Crossing his arms and pouting. “Let’s start this already.”

Stop pouting or no ice cream later.

“Fine.” Alpha said as he lost the pout but frowned instead.

Okay.... First set of questions are from.... BronyArmedCorps23!
Alright... First question goes to Slayer!

“Alright! Sweet.” He said sitting up.

Oh wait... He means me... Sorry Slayer.

“Oh god damn...” Slayer said crossing his arms and leaning back.

“Mind fucked.” Church said looking confused.

Brony askes.... When do you and Alpha plan on putting in a chapter where everyone meets Blueblood?

Hmm. That is a good question. I guess after we get all the other stuff done... We will have a chapter where we all go and ‘meet’ BlueBlood.

“Meet meaning FU-” Alpha said before the word became bleeped out.

Yeah... What he said. Okay next question.... This one says it’s for Alpha, but I think it’s actually meant for Church. He askes...

Why are you so persitent on getting Slayer laid? Its not a bad thing to be a virgin.

“Well tha-”
“Tha-”

“Stop it.” Alpha said pointing finger at Church.

“No you stop it!” Church said back.

“I’m warning you!” Alpha said back. with a slightly louder tone.

“Yeah? Who are you my creator?” Church asked sarcasticly.

“IN FACT I AM!” Alpha yelled.

CALM DOWN!

“He started it.” Both Church and Alpha said unison.

How about this.... You discuss the answer and then say it at the same time?

Both Church and Alpha looked at each other before starting to whisper to each other. After a few seconds they came to a conclusion.

“Because...” both of them said at the same time. “Yeah thats pretty much it.”

Well.. Said? *Slow clap* Okay.... Alpha go sit down.

Alpha was somehow sitting on a small... Helicopter looking thingy...
“But... I’m already sitting down.”

In your chair. I put you name on it for a reason.

Alpha just sighed before jumping off the helicopter and walking over to the chair. “Buzzkill.”

I am not! Now.... Next question goes to Brony and Hank. Brony askes...

Where are you guys and what do you guys do when your not doing stuff with Alpha and Slayer?

Brony and Hank just looked to each other and said. “Well you are gonna find out soon.”

*Gasp* Did they just reveal a possible Chapter in progress? Maybe... Just maybe they did. Anyhow.... Brony’s final question goes to.... Me and Alpha! He askes....

“Thats... odd.” Alpha said

Thanks for interupting. He askes...

“Yes!” Alpha said again

*Smack*

*smacks back*

I will break your keyboard.

“Thats unfair, dirty fighting!” Alpha said back.

*Holds out said keyboard* Do I need to do it?

“No, just say the damned question” Alpha said with a pout.

Good boy. He askes...

When do you guys plan on letting out another bloopers reel? That was funny.

“Good boy?! WHAT? I’M NOT A DOG!” Alpha said a bit angry.

Alpha want a E-Drink?

“Yes, please.” Alpha replied obediently.

*Pulls out a energy drink and hands it to Alpha.* Now sit and stay.

“Okie dokie.” Alpha said opening the can and nursing it.

Got him trained like a soldier. Anywho, I am currently working on the new Blooper Reel. How about you Alpha... Got any funny moments from the story to tell? Quickly?

“Let’s save it for the blooper reel?...” Alpha said looking at Slayer.

Touche. Alright. That’s it for Brony’s questions. *Throws cards in a random direction*

There was some low humming and some small wheels spinning before a small tank drove up against Slayers leg and fired of a paintball.

Ow..... *Picks up Paint Tank.* Alpha....

“Tihihi.” Alpha said holding up the remote.

You’re not gonna get anymore E-Drinks or Ice cream now.

“Awww.” Alpha said looking sad.

Be good and I might reconsider. Okay... Next guys is SailorBrony! His first question goes to... Slayer! And it’s not me!

“Finally!” Slayer said leaning back up. Before he could sit up straight a rainbow colored afro got stuck on his head. “What the...?”

“How did that get there?” Alpha asked himself. “I was sure that was stuck on the roof for a few seconds.”

*Sigh* Alpha you are a child. Anyway... He askes.
how do people travel between Equestria and Earth? Is it like an airline where you pay to go across? Do you teleport by somesort of machine or fly a spaceship or something?

“Oooh. Good question!” Slayer says. “Well it’s rather simple actually. It’s walking through a mirror to be honest. And the machine? It’s like this BIG giant rectanular box. Well That’s was contains the portal anyway. So.... Yeah Big Portal pretty much.”

“You suck on describing shit.” Church said.

“And you suck with everything else.” Slayer said.

“Says the one who had to get help to lose his virginity.” Church replied with a smug grin on his face.

“Oh shut up. At least I can snipe in a game.” Slayer said leaning back.

“Oh fuck you.” Church said.

“Luna did that already.” Slayer said grinning.

“Smart ass.” Church said.

Settle down everyone and pony.

Suddenly there was a snap of the fingers and Alpha was Sitting on the roof. “God damnit, What is with my magic?”

Damn it Alpha! Get down here!

“Eh... I changed my gravity so... Um... JUMP” Alpha said as he jumped but fell back to the roof.

*Snap and Alpha was back in his seat* Stay Alpha.... Stay.

“Something is... Fishy!” Alpha said as he pulled out a dead fish from behind his back. and laughed.

*Takes fish and throws it in the trash.* Okay next Question goes to.... Tia and Luna! He askes.

why did you settle for two humans that go to a private school? First off, you are princesses. You can date anyone! Think of all the fun (hint, hint) And aren't you immortal? You are kinda seem cougars.

“Wow... Low blow dude.” Slayer said sighing.

“I should kill him.” Church said frowning.

No breaking the 4th wall guys. Tia? Luna? Your up.

“Do I have to?” Alpha said.

What do yo- Oh yeah right. Yes.

“Aww man.” Alpha whined.

Oh suck it up! I have to do it too. Well Celesita? *Turns to Celestia*

“He spent more time than anyone else with me and saw me as another, pony. Just your every day to day pony, not the ruler of this country.” Celestia said winking at Church.

“Well... I guess it’s pretty much the same for us as well... Although the showing of his-” Luna began.

“The what now?” Church said all of a sudden very intrested.

“Video games and music. Why?” Luna said looking to Church.

“Damn it. Nothing.” Church said as he leaned back and looked bored again.

“Anyway... Yes that is pretty much it....” Luna turned to her sister. “Wait Tia? What did her mean by cougars?”

“You are a asshole” Alpha muttered to Slayerbro.

Wasn’t to fun for me either genuis. His next question goes to Lyra!

“Sweet!” She said hopping up.

He askes.

you didn't give me a straight answer! it is ok though, I have another. How many other prank spells do you have? Are you planning any good pranks?

“Oh... Well yeah I do! And how good I am?” She said holding up a wallet and Phone. “I think Church can testify to that.”

There was a snap. “Stop stealing his stuff.” Alpha said as he now was holding the wallet and Phone.

Alpha.... Those are mine.

“Now they are mine!” Alpha said as he snapped his fingers and they got engraved with ‘property of The Alpha.’

Too bad. *takes wallet and phone back and peels off stickers with signatures on them.*

“Bollocks.” Alpha swore.

Okay next question goes to Ugh... Carla.

“Oh don’t be so extremely negative.” Alpha said as he was sitting weirdly on his chair.

I will make you be her!

“Thats extremely low. I mean EXTREMELY.” Alpha said looking at Slayerbro.

Stay seated or I will make you do it.... Now he askes...

What is your problem with Slayer?

“Nothing! I don’t have a problem with the fact that he just randomly dumped me at my own house... Hehehehehhe.” Carla said twitching slightly

Church and Alpha looked at Slayer. Both with very uncomfortable stares. “What? I dated her for like two months!” He said.

They kept staring at him. “You never dump a girl at HER house of all places.” Both of them said.

“Yea well I know that now.” Slayer said groaning. “Besides she was the first girl I dated.”

A double smack was heard and both Alpha and Church had facepalmed.

Okay enough of the guilt. His final question is for... Me and Alpha again!

This time Alpha was lying across the recliner Instead of hanging of the back support. “Yes?”

He askes.

why am I addicted to this story? I wish I can give it more likes...

Well... It’s good I guess? *Shrug* And thanks for trying to give more likes.

“Well you could always spam the like button and hope that the story gets more likes...” Alpha said shrugging.

Alright those are it for those questions. *Throws them into a random fire.* Next one up is PH_Brony130. HIs first Question goes to Slayer!

“Yeah!” Slayer sits up again. “What be this question that I must answer?”

He askes.

How do I stay awesome?

“Um.... I dunno. Everyone is awesome in their own way I guess.” Slayer said scratching his head.

Very nice. I think. The next one goes to Church!

Church just looked at Slayerbro. “Well? I have not had my E drink yet.”

*Slayer just sighs and snaps his fingers letting a E-Drink fall into Church’s hand*

“Thank you.”

Okay he askes....

How do I get laid?

“Well there is two ways, One is to take your time, invite her to a romantic diner say nice things and such.”

“That first one is suspicious.” Luna said looking to Church.

“What are you talking about?” Church said raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing..... Nothing at all.” Luna said plainly before leaning back.

“The other one is to do a one night stand, it works easiest at a bar, club, any place a girl would get drunk in. EXCEPT LESBIAN BARS.” Church said.

Or gay bars.

“True that. All you need to do there is to give her a nice impression and ask her if she wants to follow you home or you follow her home. Then hit it on from there.” Church finished.

Thank you Church for the most common knowledge. This next one is for Hank, and No it’s not rude.

“Okay then.” Hank said sitting up.

He askes.

What kind of gun do prefer in hunting?

“Um... I have only hunted once. And I didn’t really like it.” Hank said shrinking back a bit.

Ah...... ONWARD! This next one is for Brony.

“Oh sweet!” He said.

He askes

Do you like GAK?

“...... The fuck is GAK?” Brony said tilting his head.

Nothing you need to worry about. The final question from this fan goes to Lyra!

“Yeah! I love answering these things!”

He askes.

What Genre of music do you like?

“Oooh. That’s a big question.” Lyra said scratching her chin. “Um... I like classical, some dubstep, a little techno, a lot of Rock, but not very much metal.... Or anything else... Oh wait! House! I like house music.”

Thank you Lyra for that! And these are done for... *Tosses questions over his shoulder.* And that was the las-..... Alpha. Why do I have a spare set of cards with your name poorly written on them?

“Not my fault someone put the cards in my way.” Alpha replied innocently.

*Lifts glasses and rubs eyes.* Okay fine... I will ask your questions.

“YAY!” Alpha said as he clapped his hands.

These next few are from... The Alpha. His first one goes too... Alpha.

Alpha just smiled and nodded.

He askes himself...

Why did you start working on a RvB fic?

“Because i thought it was a good idea at the time.” Alpha said with a monotone voice “And it still is. Its funny you should check it out!” Alpha said pointing straight at the camera

Shameless self promotion for the win?

“Yes.” Alpha said with a huge smile.

*Sigh.* Alright his next one goes to Slayer.

“I have a bad feeling about this.” Slayer said righting himself in his chair.

He askes.

What are your long term plans of the cheese? (The cheese meaning anything and everything) and How did you enjoy your cake? I baked it!

“Oh... Well. I plan on finishing up this semester and going into programming. Nothing too special. And yes. Me and Luna loved the cake.” Slayer said.

Alright then. Next one goes to Luna.... Oh come on Really Alpha?

“Yes.” Alpha said nodding with a huge grin on his face.

*Gently rubs temples* Alright... Luna. He askes.

How was sex? (I suppose it was amazing.)

“It was even better. Not bad for a virgin.” Luna said nuzzling Slayer.

“Oh come on not you too.” Slayer said facepalming.

I am moving on before this escalates. His next one goes to Celestia!

“Yay! Sounds fun!” Celestia said happily.

Yeah wait till you hear this. He askes.

If Church had another GF he had not told you about what would you do?

“Bring out the shotgun and hunt her down.... Unless shes a polygamist.” Celestia said.

“I bloody knew it!” Slayer jumped up from his seat, yelling. Then he sits down and blushes. “Heh heh.. Sorry. Continue Tia.”

“Anyway.... So Thats pretty much it.” Tia finished, totally ignoring the fact that Church is sweating like fuck...

HEY CHURCH LOOK IT’S YORU~! *Pointing to a blank wall.*

“OH GOD WHY?!” He said jumping out of his seat and hiding behind the couch.

*Rolling on the floor laughing.* I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WORKED!

“Asswipe.” Church muttered.

Least I didn’t get sniped 60 times by the same person. *Gets up and sits back in his chair.*

“Yeah, yeah! Whatever.”

Okay... So Celestia being over protective of Church aside... The next... Well statement, goes to Church! He says.

You know.... You are going to die. (I'm not kidding.)

“The fuck?” Church said nervously. Whist Alpha was staring at him with a blank face.

I believe he has plans for you Church. Anyway... Aly stop staring!

“Whos Aly?” Alpha asked dumbly.

You. It’s your nickname.

“AAAAALY! YEEAH!” Alpha said a little bit too happy.

Right.... The next one is for... Sita! Wait where is she? I didn’t get her in the role call.

There were several happy barks from Alpha’s recliner where now Sita was sitting. And Alpha was nowhere to be seen.

Huh...... Oh well. He askes.

Bark bark barky barek bark?

“Well that is a exellent question” Sita replied. Everyone in the room looked at Sita at the same time.

Yeah... I should have seen this coming. *Face palm.* Well... Go on Sita.

“Bark bark!” She replied.

Well said!... How did I understand that....

“I have no clue but I did too.” Lyra said.

“NEXT QUESTION!” Church said.

Fine fine... The next one goes to Lyra.

“Alright!” She said.

He askes.

How much exactly did you read of Church Text conversation?

“Every... Last.... Detail.” Lyra said grinning evilly at Church. “Can even recite it if I want to.”

“Well, I would say go ahead but remember there are kids watching this station too!” Alpha said Grinning from behind the studio exit.

Alpha get back in here.

“Fine.” He muttered as he walked to his seat and picked up Sita before sitting down with her.

Good Alpha. Now the next one goes to Church. Again.

“Again?” Church asked.

Again. He askes

What would you do if Yoruichi became your roomie?

“Are you trying to get me killed?” Church asked a bit afraid. “I’m serious.”

“You? serious? HAHAHA!” Alpha laughed.

WHY SO SERIOUS!? *Gets all angry and pulls a knife before stabbing the table.*

“YEAH, WHHHY SO SERIOUS?” Alpha said Getting out a RPG and aiming it at the table.

NO! *Swats Alpha with a newpaper* NO! Bad Alpha!

“B-But!” Alpha protested.

NO! *Swats again and takes the RPG.* NO. No.

“Aww.” Alpha said saddened

*Hands him a fire ax* You can use this though.

“YEEEAH” Alpha said taking the ax and swinging it back... accidentally losing grip of it causing it to fly back into a wall.

And that is how babies are born.

“Yes.” Alpha agreed.

Now... Next question.

“Wait who’s this Yoruichi girl?” Celestia asked

“No one in particular!” Alpha and Church said at the same time.

What would I get if I told you? Ah nevermind... Anyway. The next one goes to Hank and Brony! He askes.

Do you want more screen time? Same goes for Hank.

“Well it would be nice.” Hank said from the couch.

“Yeah same here.” Brony agreed.

You sure? Some pretty wacky stuff happens... I mean Church got hit in the face with a cleat.

“That’s... Pretty... Well how did you actually manage to do that?” Church said as he looked at Slayer.

Oh nothing really. I just put a pen where the cleats were. *smile* It was easy.

“Thats nice” Church muttered.

Okay... Next one goes to... Alpha again. He askes himself.

do you like me? and cheese?

“The Alpha you ask me a excellente question.” Alpha said pretending to think.

“If I like the cheese I don’t like myself... But if I like myself I dont like cheese....” Alpha said

“I say both!” Alpha awensered.

Right..... Alright everyone! That was all the questions!

“You sure?” Alpha asked.

Well yeah.. *Flips through the cards again* Why did I miss one?

Alpha shurgs innocently.

Wait a minute.... Why is there something stuck to my hand? *Pulls off small piece of paper.* Oh.. Here is the last question. And it’s for me.

He askes.

I Wuv you?(no homo).

I don’t know... do you?

“Yes.” Alpha said.

Alright then.... That’s the chapter for tonight! Cya everybody!!!

“Bye!” “See you watching us later!” “Woohoo. Now I can go home.” “Welp I am off to play vidoe games!”

Say goodbye Alpha.

Alpha magicly conjured up his Golf cart out of his pocket before puting it on the ground and jumping in it, Church and Sita got in too.

“Bye bye!” Alpha said as he sped off.

Right... Good night, morning, after noon, or midnight people!

Q/A chapter! Answers!

Q/A chapter! Answers!

Q/A for M.L.A.C.P.

Okay hey everyone! This is Slayerbroman here and waiting to answer your questions.
With me is Alpha.

“Meyz mul, Slayerbroman..... That means Come strong Slayerbroman, I thought you spoke Dragon!” The Alpha said as he greeted Slayerbroman.

Oh shut your face. Or I will fus ro d-*SLAP* you almost made me say it. Alright other than Alpha there is Church, Slayer, Lyra, Tia, Some of Slayer’s family, Hank, and Fluttershy!

“And they are all sitting over there-” he jerks a thumb to his right and the camera pans over there. “-In soft couches and chairs... And I’m just sittin in my Computer chair here. Fucking unfair if you ask me...” The Alpha said.

Oh hush up and grab a drink from the fridge. Anyway. Everyone say ‘hi’!

Lyra: Hello!

Slayer: Sup everyone?

Tia: Hello Slayer’s little readers

Church: Seriously why did I come here again?

Fluttershy: H-h-h-he-e-ell-l-l-lo-o

Slayer’s mum and dad: Hello everyone.

Hank: Hello people I can’t see!!

Alright! with the introduction out of the way let’s begin!! The first question goes to...
Hank! Hank stand up!

“Alright!! what’s my question?” Hank asked eagerly.

Okay this one comes from a person....Well it comes from you...

“Well that is interesting.” Hank stated.

Okay then here it is!

Hank. do you have any hideous wounds under your trenchcoat?

“........”

Hank you okay?

Hank just sits there. Then he gets up and throws off mic before walking out the door.

Well.....Looks like we crossed a line.

“Can I storm out too?” Church asked hoping to get out early.

“If you can beat me in a game of Fisticuffs.” The Alpha said.

"Shit... Fine I’ll stay” Church answered a bit annoyed.

No fighting you guys. Anyway next question! This one is also from a person named Hank J. Wimbleton. And it goes to...Slayer’s Mum and Dad!

“Oh boy what is it?” Slayer’s dad asked

Alright. He asks what is the single most embarrassing thing your son has ever done.

“Oh that is easy. Once when he was young he found out that firecrackers explode it you throw them into a fire... So one day when I asked him to go get something to ‘liven’ up the fire he brought out a coffee can filled to the brim with firecrackers. And then he threw the can in the fire. I meant can and everything!” Slayer’s dad says laughing.

“I thought that was just between us...” Slayer mumbled embarrassed.

“Needless to say the whole fire blew up. Literally.”

*Trying not to laugh* That...That is a very interesting story. What do you think Alpha? *Snicker*

The Alpha is trying his best not to laugh at Slayer’s embarrassing story but he ultimately fails and laughs out loud. “That was one *snicker* heck of a story” Alpha said in between laughs. Church too was laughing his ass off but was making no attempt whatsoever to hide it.

“PRICELESS!” He yelled in between a laugh.

“I hate you all....” Slayer says putting his head in his hands.

Alright next question. This one is from the same person and it goes to...Celly!

“I thought I told you all that I hate being called that.” Tia says glaring at Slayerbroman.

Yeah yeah. Alright here it is! Celestia...Do you know that Church has a crush on you?

Both Alpha and Church were drinking a Monster at this point which now were spread out all over the room. They both were coughing violently afterwards.

*Wipes the E-drink off his face and looks to The Alpha and Church.* Okay no more energy drinks for the rest of the show. Anyway Tia?

“......”

Tia? You ok-

“Last time you asked that someone ran out. Suggestion, don’t ask?” The Alpha said nervously.

“May I have a word with Church? Alone?” She asked glaring at Church.

Um sure? Just don’t kill him alright?

“You better leave him alive, You don’t want to see me angry.... If can get angry.” The Alpha said trying to be scary, but just plain fails at it.

“Ri~ght. Church? Outside. Now.” Tia says while walking out the door.

Cya bro. You gonna die.

“Been nice knowing you Church, but everyone has to die sometime.” The Alpha said sympathetically. Church just swallowed hard before walking to meet Tia.

Well he is dead. Next question! This is the last question from the same guy before we go to someone else. This one goes to...Fluttershy!

“*Squeak* O-okay.” Fluttershy said.

“Quick question Slayerbroman.” The Alpha said with a raised hand.

Okay let’s just call me Slayerbro for now. But go on.

“Alrighty, anyhow. When does Fluttershy here-” He gestures towards Fluttershy. ”-come in to the story?” The Alpha said, who out-of-nowhere had gotten hands on a top hat and was wearing it.

Um....*Looks at Alpha and shakes his head* She came into the story at the beginning of the chapters. She is the one who gave Slayer his snake.

“Oh thats right. How stupid of me to not remember. Anyhow, continue with the previous question.” The Alpha said.

Thank you. Anyway. Fluttershy...Has Hank ever said anything about clowns?...What? *Looks at the notecard again* What?....

“Um.....W-well...N-no?” She answers questioningly.

Yeah I don’t get it either. Anyway those are Hank J. Wimbleton’s questions. The next set is from Bronyarmedcorps23. His first question goes to...Slayer!

“I got to ask.... How did he come up with such a name?” The Alpha asked to no one in particular.

Who? me or Brony?

“Brony....” The Alpha said as he was trying to think up a name like that.

*Shrugs* I came up with mine after playing halo, so...ANYWAY! on with the show!

“Alright then. What’s my question?” Slayer asks looking to Slayerbro.

He asks....Do you think that luna can kick your ass in Mass Effect?

“Yes. Just yes. There is no way to stop her when she gets started.” He says shaking his head.

Well thanks. The next one goes to..Church!..Oh wait. *He turns to Alpha and gestures to the doors* Alpha go check on Church!

The Alpha who had a top hat on him last time Slayerbro checked was now wearing a rainbow colored afro and a big red round nose.

Take that off!! And go check on Church!

“Alright fine!” The Alpha said as he took off the Rainbow Afro and the Clown nose. He then got up and walked out of the room to check on Church. “YOL TOOL SUL!” He screamed into the corridor before dissaparing in a sea of fire.

STOP SHOUTING IN DRAGON!!.....Jeez. Well while that is going on, let’s do a question for someone else. This is for Lyra.

“Alright what is it?” She asked happily

Brony asks How are you?

Lyra blinks. “I am....Fine?”

Very nice. ALPHA GOT CHURCH YET!?

From the other side of the door you could faintly hear some one yelling “This. Is. SPA-” Before the door to the room flew off its hinges and into the wall. “-RTA?” The Alpha said confused at how strong he was.

Ri~ght....Got Church and Tia?

“Right behind me!” He said as he turned around. “Or well.... Shit.”

Ugh.....Keep everyone entertain for a moment...*Walks down the hallway and disappears around the corner*

“NOT MY FAULT!” Alpha yelled to Slayerbro as he disappeared.

OH WHAT THE FUCK!?...GOD! *walks back into the room dragging Tia by her necklace and Church over his shoulder*

“So, want to see a magic trick?” Alpha said as he clapped his hands together.

NO!....Okay look hold this. *He puts Tia in Alpha’s arms before walking over to the chairs and puts Church down.* Church....WAKE UP!

“What happened to him oh and check this out!” The Alpha said as he snapped his fingers, all of a sudden Church was in a tuxedo. “TA-DAAAA!” he exclaimed

*Lifts glasses and rubs eyes* This is going to be a long night....*Puts his glasses back to normal and looks to the now awake Church*

“Alright I know how.... Even though this pains me too.” The Alpha said as he put down Celestia quickly. Then he pulled out an unopened can of Dark dog energy. And poured it all out on the floor and cringing while he was doing it.

Church awoke with a gasp and looked at Slayer “Something terrible just happened!” He yelled.

Yeah...Alright let’s get back to our show before anything else happens..

“Alright!” The Alpha said happily and jumped in slow-motion towards his chair. Before failing and faceplanting on the floor. “Ow” he then got up and sat down in his chair.

*Slowly rubs temples and sighs* Okay... Brony asks Do you and Celestia plan on trolling a few servants or citizens of canterlot?

“Who was that aimed at?” Church asked.

You......Just you.

“Oh.... Then yes, we are planning on trolling a few servants and citizens.... And we have so many plans in store too...” Church said “Its going to be GLORIOUS!” He yelled before breaking into an evil mastermind laugh.

*Looks to Alpha before throwing a can at Church* Save it for the day it happens Church. Alright. This one goes to....

“So THIS NEXT QUESTION!” The Alpha interupted.

It goes to Hank, but he stor-.

“Actually he’s right behind that door.” The Alpha interupted as he pointed to a random door on the left side of the room and from behind it you could hear “What? How?”

Right....HANK GET YOUR SCARY ASS IN HERE...

Hank slowly walks back in and sits down. “Okay what is the question?”

Alright Brony asks Do you think you could scare the living crap out of everyone in the room?

“Well yeah except The Alpha... He seems a bit unfazed.” Hank said.

Well he is crazy. Anyway that’s all from Brony! Next set of questions....Or question. This next one comes from greatodyer. And it’s for Church!

“Why do I have a bad feeling all of a sudden?” Church said.

*shurgs* Anyway. He asks What would you do if E-drinks were outlawed in Equestria?

“Well I would...” Church started

“Kill everyone” The Alpha interrupted looking extremely serious.

Oh god....Well that is interesting.

“Well... I would.” Church said looking at Alpha with a scared expression. “I would... Probably leave equestria, until It was legalized again. And If I can’t resort to leaving I would, most definitely go on a rampage. I would also stock up on Energy drinks, cause then I would be like a black market dealer or something.” Church finished.

Huh....Well. Let’s look at the other questions. Oh Alpha you got a question!

“Oh! Oh! I know what it is! Its a test! 1+1 = 10! I WIN! A+!” The Alpha said.

Well....No. And you’re wrong. The question comes from...You? it just reads Do you like me?

“Yes.... I like me.” The Alpha said somehow getting the Rainbow Afro back on his head.

*walks over and takes wig* I said keep it off. Anyway. *Walks back to his seat.* The next question is for Church again! It reads What was the longest time you went without energy drinks?

“Oh shit. thats a tricky question....” Church said as he started to think “Well the longest time was when I.... Huh.... Oh yeah. Got stuck in a canyon with seven other people. I think.... No wait it was the time I got stuck in the Freezer. The school freezer you know that huge ass Freezer with Pigs hanging From the roof?” Church said.

You got stuck in a butchers freezer. Wow. Just bloody wow.

“At least I think it was a Freezer.... Might have been a cave, or it was a tent.... I have no idea. But i know I was stuck in it for like I don’t know a week or so? Lost track of time oh and uh, How I coped with it. I did not do all that well, Infact I was close to smashing my head in. I think, that or I was close to falling into a coma.” Church said.

OKAY SHUT UP!.....Jeez. *Shakes head in disappointment.* Well then. We only got time for one more question and thankfully it’s the last one. It comes from a pony called SailorBrony. This one goes to Lyra!

“Lyyyyyyra...” The Alpha said with some weird voice.

Creepy.

“Alright! What is it!” Lyra asks happily.

This pony asks What is your problem about not letting people into your room? Do you keep some *cough* Inappropriate Items *cough* In there or something?

“........”

What? Did he cross a line.

“It’s private. And no I don’t keep inappropriate items in my room. Or at least not anymore.” She said looking away and blushing. She then got poked by a cane which The Alpha had again somehow gotten his hands on

“Tell.” He said with a childish voice whilst looking at Lyra

“No!” She said moving out of reach.

“Tell.” He repeated himself and scooted closer so he could poke her with his cane.

*walks over and pulls Alpha away* Stop it Alpha. Or I will put you in the corner again.

“Quack! Don’t do that. Then I get verrrry depreeesseeed.” The Alpha said draging out the last words with extra sadness for effect.

I won’t if you stop poking and annoying Lyra. Okay everybody! That was the Q/A. From the cast of My Life at Canterlot’s Private School, we say Goodbye! Cya next chapter

“Bye!” “See ya!” “Have a nice day!!” “Look out for the next chapter!!”

The Alpha surprisingly was quiet for some reason and that reason was because he was holding up Lyra towards his visor and repeated himself “Tell.” in a childish voice.

DAMN IT ALPHA!!!

Blooper reel #1: Some off scene fun plus something extra. ;)

Bloopers.

Chapter 1: Opening scene:

I opened the doors before- *THUMP* “Falling flat on my face....”

The camera man lowered the camera as he laughed and watched the ‘guard’ help Slayer up.

“Yeah yeah I am fine. How about you narrator? You find this funny?” Slayer asked looking next to me.

“You bet your ass I do. *Snicker*” The narrator said.

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Chapter 3: Beginning scene:

"Okay just to ease my curiosity when you say loneliness do you mean outta actual loneliness or the OTHER kind of loneliness?" She cocked her head to the side in confusion then quickly blushed and almost yelled.

"Actual loneliness!! Why would you even ask that!?"

"Curiosity mostly." I replied

“....”

“Too much awesomeness for you?”

Lyra and Slayer burst into laughter before picking up a pillow and throwing it at Slayer.

“Oh fuck you!” She yelled.

“Do you really have to narrate everything?” Slayer asked me.

Fuck yeah I do! If I don’t I don’t get payed, so suck it up biatch!

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Chapter 3: Luna bumping scene:

She finished putting the tiara on when she started to yell at me.

“WHO ARE THEE THAT SO RUDELY DISRUPTED OU- *Cough cough ahem*”

“Well that was anti-climatic.” Slayer said righting turning back to the camera and giving it a shit eating grin. Luna walked over and punched him in the arm.

“Fuck you too Slayer!” Luna said hugging him.

“What is with all the girls wanting my bone?” Slayer said looking to the camera.

“You’re just lucky we are dating.” Luna said kissing him before going back to her place. “Alright are we ready?”

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Chapter 4: Cast greetings!:

“Alright who is playing the role o-” Slayer sees Hank walk in and damn near shits himself. “Holy mother of Luna you are fucking terrifying.”

“D-Did I over do it? Oh I am sorry! I didn’t mean too! I wa-” Hank began to stutter out. Slayer just walked over and patted him on the shoulder.

“Naw dude! Your perfect! Now just be the big, lovable teddy bear that these guys saw in you-” He gestured to the director and his helpers. “- and we will get along fine.”

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Chapter 4: Flutter scene:

"HEY!! EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN!!" He said as he rose from his chair. EVERYONE did just as he said, even Fluttershy only she more or less dived to the ground like someone lobbed a grenade at her. I actually just nodded my head in awe and gave him a thumbs up. He smiled and sat back down with a triumphal smirk.

“....”

Slayer got up and looked. “Is she dead?”

Luna walked in and poked Flutter’s hoof. “No she is just in shock.”

Lyra walked in and sighed. “Alright who broke Flutter?”

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Chapter 11: Spider and the knife:

I looked down and saw a spider. I blinked at first and slowly reached onto the table. My hand worked it’s way across the table until it felt something. “YAH!” I yelled as I brought what was in my hand onto my arm.
I probably should have checked what was in my hand before attacking the spider because I put a plastic knife an inch into my arm.

“GRK....*Whine*...Church......Oh shit guys?... I might have actually stabbed myself.” Slayer said looking to Church.

“You’re um.... You’re kidding right?” Church said and slayer shook his head.

“Yeah I didn’t... This is just like with the griffin.”

“Oh yeah the griffin grope scene!” Church said.

“Bow chika bow wow!” Slayer said before looking to the camera. “No seriously I hurt myself.”

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Chapter 11: Song scene:

As I walked closer I could hear a instrument accompanying his singing. Then I heard what he was singing. (Imagine on the guitar.)

I walked up silently listening in to what he was singing... Classical music.... Ugh. So fancy.
Luna, won't you guide me home?
Luna, won't you *Twang* FUCK ME IN THE ASS....

“No... Thank you?” Luna said before bursting into laughter while Church soon followed..

“Oh my god why?” Church said before falling on the ground and laughing even harder.

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

“Okay okay...Well, I guess it started about a month or two ago. We had so many things in common and the same taste in music. I loved the night, You're gorgeous..” I was letting it all out now. ‘No point in holding back now.’ I thought. “....We love the same videogames, you love to go outside and meet people or ponies regardless, You don’t give a damn about what others think unless they are your friends, Your a amazing artist, and..and.. I could go on, but then I think I would die of oxygen loss...” I said. I let in a gasp and then panted for a moment.

“Alright everyone! Now I have a annoucement!” Slayer walked over and grabbed a box from the coat on his chair and walking over to Luna before getting on one knee and opening the small box showing a small gold ring with a diamond on it. “Luna? Would you make me the happiest man alive by marrying me?”

“YES! YES!” Luna said before tackling Slayer and letting him put the ring on her horn. They shared a kiss before the director walked over and looked into the camera.

“This wasn’t the real ending, but WHOO HOO! Go Slayer!” He said before starting a massive applaud.

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

End of Bloopers: A message from the cast:

“Hey everyone! You all just saw a few of the many bloopers we have in storage! The last was actually real footage of me proposing to Luna. These don’t affect our story at all and we just wanted to give you guys a little something for your undying support.” Slayer said walking into the light with Luna.

“And from the whole cast of Life at Canterlot Private School... We all say THANKS FOR WATCHING!!” Luna said before the cast walks in clapping and whooping in delight.

Author's Note

Hey everyone! This is just a fun way of letting you know that chapters are going to be late because.... School blows. Elephant dick..... And is gay.

Brohoof if you hate School. Not learning. School.
/)

Bloopers! #2

MORE Bloopers!

Chapter 11
Scene: And her name was....

“Well I saw that coming.” Said the pink alicorn called Princess Cadenza.

“How?” Church asked.

“He~llo? I am..... ” She said to the human.

“Yes?” Church urged.

“I forget.” Cadance said face-hoofing.

“Oh for Luna’s sake!!” Church said laughing. Cadance just punched him.

“Oh fuck off!” Cadance scolded.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Chapter 11
Scene: You are who?

“Ugh. Look everypony should have seen this coming. He was the first pon- person, Sorry, to accept her. He introduced her to videogames, movies, soda, Etc. They hung out for who knows how long. It was bound to happen.” She said with a matter-of-fact tone.

“Huh... That does seem awfully legit... Besides you sound more like a spy right now. But I’m not pointing fingers since that explanation seems pretty much logical and if not the most logical right now. By the way, who are you?” Church said and asked.

“....”

“Ain’t that just like a mare to keep on forgetting...” Church said snickering.

“Oh shut up!!” Cadance yelled throwing a redbull can at Church.

“OW!.. That was still half full!!” Church said rubbing his head.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Chapter 11
Scene: And the moment was so perfect.

“Uh yeeeah....” I said as a grabbed a hold of the knob and twisted it ‘I hope to fucking god this doesn't lead to a supply closet’ as I opened the door and burst through it what I saw was...

“Church and celestia falling to the ground.” The narrator said laughing out loud.

“BLOW ME NARRATOR!” Church said.

“Nope that’s my job!” Celestia said closing the door with her magic.

“THEN THE SEX HAPPENED!!” Narrator yelled out still laughing.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Chapter 11
Scene: Maybe it was a bad idea....

“Well then. Come here.” She said. I complied and sat down next to her. “Now we need thou to look us in the eyes and tell us you have feeling for us. The proper way.”

I gulped and did as I was told. I looked her in the eyes and cleared my throat. “Alright..Luna? I have been meaning to tell you. That I....SON OF A BITCH WHY IS HARD!?!”

“Could it be that pill you took earlier?” Luna said smirking. Slayer just deadpans and picks Luna up. “WWAAAAH!! Put me down!!”

“Nope!” He said smirking.

“HEY WERE SHOOTING HERE!” Church yelled. “SAVE IT FOR THE AFTER PARTY!”

“NOPE!” Slayer yelled running off the set and out the door.

“Son of a bitch.” Church muttered face palming.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Office of Slayer and Alpha.
Scene: Casting... Oh joy.

“Alright alright... We got the perfect girl for Carla... Now what about these two new spots?” Slayerbro asked Alpha who just shrugged in response and spun in his chair a bit. Slayerbro just sighed and took his goggles off. “This day just keeps getting better and better.”

Suddenly his phone on his desk beeped. “Uh.. Mister Slayerbro! You have a visitor. He says he is here for one of the upcoming parts.” The secretary said.

Slayerbro just used a hoof and pressed a button. “Okay... I think I will be able to tell which part he is going for.... So just uh... Send him in.”

“Right away!” The happy voice said over the intercom. Soon before I could say anything else, the door burst open with a very sudden blaring of music and a certain creature putting a show on for Slayerbro and Alpha.

After he was finished, Slayerbro simply stared before slapping his hooves together slowly. “I think I know the part you’re looking for. And just let me say mister...?”

“Discord. The name is Discord.”

“Well let me just say mister Discord. You are gonna go far.” Slayer said grinning and holding out his hoof. ‘Discord’ smiled and shook his hoof.

Author's Note

Here you go! Hopefully this will give you some light on what future chapters are going to be!

P.S.
This guy. This guy won the vote. Sorry all you Nightmare Moon fans!

And you know what? He was so surprised that.....

Bloopers #3

EVEN MOAR BLOOPERS!

Scene:
Discussing.

“Wait... Why are they called bloopers?” Slayerbro said looking to the vampire next to him known as Alpha.

“Well... Don’t ask me... Maybe because they bloop?” The Alpha said looking at Slayerbro with a eyebrow raised.

Slayerbro simply shrugged and went back to typing on his laptop. “Wait a minute.... How am I doing this with my hooves?”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Scene:
Chapter 20: The mess up.

I looked at the mare that was approaching, she was swaying her flank a little more that you should. Causing even Church to look what was going on, her eyes were half lidded and trained on Church the whole time. As she got to the table I kept my eyes to hers as to not only not stare, but not incur Luna’s wrath.

“Now how may I help you?” I said to the mare in front of me.

“The name is Emerald Charmer, and I want Alpha... In my bed, Now.” Emerald said. I let out a small, low whistle before turning back to Church..... Who is not there.

Slayer simply looked around for a moment before saying. “Where the fuck did Church go?” he said.

All of a sudden a red coated Alpha and Church came walking onto the set. They both looked at each other before looking at Slayer with their eyebrows raised, they both realized something shortly after.

“Oh shit were we still shooting?” They both asked at the same time.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Slayerbro said throwing a script at them and spilling his soda. “Oh god my soda! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Scene:
Chapter 18:

“Right. Come on Sunny!” I said gesturing to Tia. Ms. Dash led us around for a bit until we finally found the library. “A giant tree..... A giant..... Tree. Is the library... That is so cheesy.”

I heard barking from on top of the tree “Stop it Slobber puss!”

“And there is my friend. Hey Ms.Dash can you give me a lift? I need to kill my friend.” I said looking up.

“Kill him? why?” Ms. Dash said looking confused.

“Because that jerk made me and his marefriend worry about him like crazy and here he is relaxing in a tree.” I said grinding my teeth a bit. Ms. Dash just shrugged and grabbed my hands before-

“WAAAAAHHH!” Church screamed before a poof was heard. Everyone looked to the pile of snow which had a suspicious Church shaped hole in it.

“Well.... That wasn’t supposed to happen.” Slayer said looking to the camera and back to the snowpile. “Should we keep rolling or.... “

“Nah... I think that we might want to stop.” Slayerbro said as he walked into the camera’s view rubbing his head with his hoof.

“Heh, look at Chuch, he’s all unconscious ‘n’ shit.” The Alpha said looking down the hole.

“Just cut!” Slayerbro said angrily looking to the camera.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Scene: Trailer fiasco.

“Alright so we got the script for the next chapter?” Slayerbro asked as he was walking out of his trailer with Alpha following him.

“Yeah.... Just after like 10 hours of non-stop business arrangements and all that crap.” Alpha said putting on his hat.

“Oh come on it wasn’t that bad.” Slayerbro said walking onto the street before slipping on a patch of ice. “Besi-IIAAAAAAAHAHH!”

“WHOOOOOP!” Alpha screamed with him as they both fell face first onto the ground groaning in slight pain and agony.

“Ooooow... STUPID FUCKING ICE PATCHES!” Slayerbro yelled out trying to get up but just falling again. “Shit!”

Alpha was just lying there un-amused. “Who the fuck just leaves a patch of ice like this... Don’t they know that its common knowledge to pick it up and throw it in the freezer?”

In the not so far distance, Slayer and Church were laughing their asses off while they both were holding buckets. “That was awesome!” Slayer yelled out.

“No kidding! Totally worth it!” Church yelled with him.

“Alpha...” Slayerbro said. “Want to go kill them?”

“Already on it.” Alpha said reaching into his coat.

“Let me give us a lift.” Slayerbro said spreading his wings and grabbing onto Alpha before flapping his wings and taking flight. “Let’s get’em.”

The Alpha just pulled out a huge black pistol and saying. “With pleasure.” And Slayerbro propelled them both towards Church and Slayer.

“OH SHIT!” Slayer yelled throwing his bucket and running away as fast as he could.

“WELL FUCK THIS SHIT!” Church screamed out as he ran away from them, throwing the bucket away.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Scene:
Chapter 17: Da Fuq?

“Were you expecting a fancy date or just something informal?” I said leaning against the doorway. “If you answer my questions you can go back to your teenage makeout fest.”

“Just cause you dont get any tongue out of Luna.” Church shot back.

“At least she doesn’t have to be drunk to want to kiss me.” I retorted with a smile.

“Does she look drunk now?” Church asked.

“Kinda yea...” I said pointing at her swaying.

“Dude, we did.... Uh.... Yeah you get it like 30 minutes ago or something.” Church deadpanned.

“Did what?.... Sleep while Tia drunkenly stumbled around the place?” Slayer asked.

“Hahahaha, No... Fuck you.” Church responded before Slayer burst into laughter. As Slayer was laughing the door was flung off it’s hinges to reveal a VERY pissed off Slayerbro.

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE GUYS STOP JOKIN’ AROUND!!!” He bellowed. “OR I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU BOTH WITH PLIERS!”

“I kinda want to see that happen.” Alpha said from his director’s chair. Slayerbro simply left the set before walking back with a set of pliers and walking over to Alpha.

“Okay here.” Slayerbro said before stabbing Alpha in the leg. “There you go!”

“In the leg, really?” Alpha said deadpanning.

“Oh I am sorry.” Slayerbro said pulling the Pliers out and stabbing him in the chest. “That better!?”

Alpha just sighed and looked at the blood puddle forming under his chair. “I feel bad for Flithy now.”

“Oh he has dealt with worst.... Remember the casting party?” Slayerbro said walking off.

“Oh yeah.... Let’s never do that again.”

“Never knew whip cream could be so deadly.” Slayerbro said walking and sitting in his chair before turning to Alpha. “And pull those damned things out of your chest!”

“Think about all the blood! It will be all over the fucking place!” Alpha said looking at the pliers.

“Then pull it out outside!” Slayerbro said pointing to the door.

“YOU HIT MY HEART! I CAN’T FEEL IT BEATING ANYMORE!”

“Oh go walk it off. Here’s five fucks go get a soda.” Slayerbro making a tossing motion towards Alpha.
“Best directors ever?” Slayer asked looking to Church who just nodded in agreement. Alpha then pulled out the pliers causing a blood fountain to happen.

“Oh come on! I just got my hoodie from the cleaners!” Slayerbro said glaring at Alpha. “Go do that outside!”

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Scene: A enthusiastic walk.
Location: A newly built hallway.

Slayerbro was happily walking down his newly built hallway to the next set when he stopped to pick up a bit that someone had dropped. “Oooh! A coin!”

Just as he was about to pick it up there was a loud bang, then a second one and a third one. All of a sudden a fourth one followed by a fifth one, by the sixth loud bang a whole wall was blown asunder.

“Oh come on! I just had this hallway built!” Slayerbro whined as he looked at the gaping hole in the wall. Shortly after came Celestia scurrying through with Luna and Slayer, even Lyra and Brony. They all seemed very distressed and were all running away.

“Da fuq is going on?” Slayerbro asked tilting his head.

There was a few steps towards the hallway before a smoking barrel of a gun was pointed at Slayerbro, the carrier then stepped through the dark hole and into the light of the hallway. It was Alpha, he then looked down the hallway and saw the others running away. He aimed his gun down their way before yelling.

“THIS FUCKING VAMPIRE DOES NOT SPARKLE!” Slayerbro simply sighed and shook his head before picking up the bit and using a hoof to lower Alpha’s gun.

“No killing the cast Alpha... Maiming is fine, but no killing.” Slayerbro said taking his gun and putting it back in his coat. “Use a baseball bat for something. But no guns.”

“Those bastards sneaked into my room and lit it up with sunlight just to see if I sparkle. Serves them right for doing that... I’m not a vampire from that lousy book Twilight.”

“Then just use this.” Slayerbro said putting a taser in his hand. “It works for me, in fact have TWO!” He put another in his hand before frowning.

“Wait a minute... DId you break my hallway’s wall?” He asked glaring at Alpha.

“Not my fault you put this hallway next to my room, oh and yes. They broke my 70 inch plasma TV.” Alpha responed. Slayerbro just frowned before pulling out a set of pliers and stabbing Alpha in the stomach.

“DICK!” He yelled glaring at Alpha.

“TIME TO TAZE SOME CAST MEMBERS!” Alpha yelled before turning into a fog and disappearing.

“Wait why am I filiming this?” The cameraman asked looking to Slayerbro.

“A better question is... Why not?” He said smiling.

Side story!: Arguments going wrong

Side story!
Arguments going wrong

Slayerbro, Alpha, Marcon, Twilight Sparkle, Queen Chyrsalis, Slendermare, Flak, Tucker (ponified) , Lyra and Deckard were all sitting in the conference room discussing important topics.

“All I am saying is that if Isaac Clarke, an system engineer, can fight through an entire hoard of necromorphs, how come a fully equipped army can’t even kill one without losing half of their men!?” Slayerbro slightly yelled.

“I’m with Slayer on this one.” Alpha said with a toothy grin.

“Well... They are always somehow surprised attacked!” Queen Chrysalis argued.

“Well he does have a point Chrys.” Twilight said. “And I have one question... Why aren’t we talking about important details of our story?”

“Because Dead Space marathon.” Marcon said holding up a Xbox remote.

“Yes.” A echoish voice said in everyone’s heads, this voice belonged to the Spirit or Ghost.... Living cloak named Flak. “We wasted about eighteen hours on Dead Space, Let’s discuss it.”

“B-but... We have important matter to atte-” Twilight started

There was a loud bang and a Toothy grin was flashed looking at Twilight. “You said something?”

“Oh stop shooting that damned thing off. I don’t need anymore holes in the building.” Slayerbro said.

“Sorry Flak about your coat, but I could not resist pulling the trigger.” Alpha said grinning devilishly.

Flak just re-materialized under his cloak, which comically had a huge hole in the back of it’s hood. “Fuck you too then.”

Slendermare was just looking back and forth between everyone before letting out a pur/groan/chuckle like sound.

“See!? Even Slender agrees with me!” Slayerbro yelled out.

“Well, I for one... Say the soldiers are all dumb except Sergeant John Carver.... He’s the only capable soldier in the whole EarthGov army.” Lyra added.

“That’s true.... but you have to admit, Isaac went through this before anyone else did.” Deckard said.

“Have you heard of Dead Space: Extraction?” Alpha said looking a bit un-amused.

“Eh... I have just seen Extraction.” He said shrugging.

“They were the survivors of Aegis VII.” Alpha said

“Ah... But those were just civilians and two security guards!” Deckard yelled. “Sooo... In short. Soldiers from Dead Space are complete morons?”

“Agreed.” Slayerbro said nodding followed by everyone else except Alpha, who just sat there doing nothing except look majestic as fuck on his throne.

“Wait... Why the fuck am I here?” The aqua green spartan known as Tucker said.

“Because you wanted to get away from all that other shit in canterlot.... And you wanted to be around Lyra.... Who seems to enjoy your company... Somehow.” Alpha said narrowing his eyes at Tucker.

“Oh yeah... Wait anyone else hear clopping?” Tucker asked, which made Alpha burst out in laughter. “Bow chicka bow wow, but not that clopping the other one.” Tucker said looking to the door.

As Alpha stopped laughing, he put up his legs on the conference table and looked at the screen that was placed in the middle, with a Xbox and Dead Space 3 running on it.

“Well, seeing how the game is paused on chapter 14, where the sound of clopping can be hear-”

“Bow chika bow wow.” Tucker interrupted
Alpha just aimed his gun at Tucker and glaring at him. “I do not take kindly to being interrupted.”

“Worth it.” Tucker said smugly.

“Anyho-” Alpha started before a the door’s burst open revealing Rino and Roger... From another story. “Seems like someone has the wrong building...” Alpha said looking at Roger and Rino.

“What a twist!” Slayerbro said throwing his hooves in the air.

“What the hell? Rino... Roger? What are you guys doing here?” Tucker said.

“So THIS is the place everyone was hiding.” Roger said smugly walking in and hopping onto the table.

“Watch the equipment.” Alpha said un-amused. Everyone’s gaze was following Roger’s every move, even Rino who had moved to stand next to Tucker’s seat... Except Slayerbro who just blinked behind his goggles and maybe Alpha, since he was still staring at the screen of the TV.

“Oh you love me.” Roger said to Alpha.

“Wait are you here for?” Slayerbro asked tilting his head.

“How the fuck should I know? I came here to kill shit and drink blood.” Alpha said still keeping his eyes on the paused game.

“I wasn’t asking you.” Slayerbro said looking to Alpha for a moment.

“Oh sure you weren’t.” Alpha said putting on a toothy grin.

“I came here... For two things actually.” Roger said smiling.

“And that is?” Alpha asked.

“A raise.” Roger said bluntly and smiling.

“Denied.” Almost everyone in the room said, except Rino, Lyra and Roger said.

“Oh really?” Roger said turning to Alpha and giving him her best sultry smile. “I guess I will have to just convince you otherwise then won’t I?”

Alpha just glanced at her from under his fedora, his expression was still very un-amused. Roger simply walked over, giving her hips a bit more sway as she walked, before sitting right in front of him still with her sultry smile. “Isn’t that right. Mister Al-pha.” She said.

“Why does everyone insist on calling me Al Pha?” Alpha asked no-one in particular, he then looked at Slayerbro. “Tell me, is this one of your employees?”

“Eh.... She worked as one of my background characters once.” Slayerbro said shrugging. “She got mad when I asked her to do something and threw a hot cup of coffee into my eyes.”

“Ouch, that must have hurt.” Alpha said with a evil smile on his face.

“Yes. Why do you think I have these goggles on.” Slayerbro tapping his goggles.

“Oh, decoration.” Alpha just said looking back at Roger, who was sitting there with a sultry smile on her face. There was some whispering between all of the people and ponies in the group.

“Sooo. Can I have that raise?” Roger said leaning a forward a bit.

“Already told you... Denied.” Alpha said taking down his feet and sitting a little more properly.

“Denied? Even for little ol’ me?” Roger said laying on her belly and crawling a bit towards Alpha still smiling. “I am sure there is something I can do to convince you to think otherwise.”

Alpha just grinned a toothy grin before saying. “Yes there is one thing.” He said leaning forward.

“And that is?” Roger said still smiling.

Alpha just grinned even more before saying. “Get out of my sight you feeble little tweep.”

Roger just continue to smile and just gave a small giggle. “But then how will I know that I got that raise?”

“Well you won’t, simple as that.” Alpha said plainly, which to most nod for some reason.

“Oh fine then. I guess I got what I wanted from you I guess.” Roger said standing up still smiling. “If not then... Oh well. Ce la ve!”

“Good, If you are trying to seduce me you are doing a very terrible job at it.” Alpha said leaning back. Roger simply shrugged and said.

“Eh. It was worth a shot. Worked with Rino.” She smiled a happy smile. “Now on to my second order of business.”

“Toss me a blood pack will ya?” Alpha said looking at Slayer who was sitting next to the freeze box. Slayer just kicked it open and toss a pack to him before leaning back in his seat. Alpha just caught it with his teeth and basically emptied the blood pack in a matter of seconds. “That’s better.”

“Right.” Slayerbro said pulling a soda out of the cooler and opening it, somehow, with his hooves.

“How did.... Nevermind … Why is …. You know what, nevermind on that too.” Lyra said looking at Alpha and Slayer.

“Good call. Now what was-... Woah.” Slayerbro said as he looked in front of him and saw Roger. “Oh great and I going to go blind?”

“Noooo, but I would like to ask you for something.” Roger said laying down and dangling her hooves over the edge of the table.

“And that is?” Slayerbro said lazily drinking his soda and looking at Roger. Roger simply took Slayerbro’s soda from his hooves before setting it down on the table and decided to be a bit more forward in her approach. She stood up on the table before hopping onto Slayerbro’s lap and gazing into his eyes.

“I was wondering if I could get a part in your story.” She said simply still smiling.

“Hehehehehehe NOPE.” Slayerbro said smiling. Roger frowned for a moment before nuzzling under Slayerbro’s chin and saying.

“Are you suuuuure?” She said in her best cute voice.

“Yup.... You are really soft though.” Slayerbro said now deadpanning. “Now please get off, so I can get my soda.”

There was some sipping heard from Slayerbro’s side. “Oh god this burns, but totally worth it.” Alpha said.

“OH you fucker!” Slayerbro said pulling out a pair of pliers, again. “Get over here so I can kill you with pliers!”

“Yeah I think you just somehow turned Roger on.” Rino said bluntly. Slayerbro just frowned and picked Roger up before throwing her onto Rino’s back and yelling.

“Then you take care of her! I need to go kill a vampire with pliers!.... Well maim with pliers!” Slayerbro yelled and lept at Alpha trying to stab him again, this time though Alpha had enough. Using his superhuman strength and reflexes. He just grabbed Slayers forehoof and bringing his neck up to his mouth before opening it and showing all his fangs, they barely touched Slayers skin.
“I can just bite down right now.... And drink some of that juicy virgin blood.” Alpha said in a vlad accent.

“Yeah yeah, just put me down you big teddy bear.” Slayerbro said deadpanning. Of course he did not notice that Roger was sitting in Alpha’s lap nor did Alpha notice it himself. “Just put me down and I will put my pliers away.”

Alpha just dropped him, but not before grabbing his goggles. “You don’t need these..”

“AAAAH THE BRIGHT LIGHTS!!” Slayerbro yelled out in pain as he coverd his silver eyes with his hooves. “MAKE THEM STOOOOOP!”

“Enjoy thirty minutes of pain, for thirty times of you stabbing me.” Alpha said.

“WORTH IT! AAAUUUUGH!” Slayerbro said whimpering slightly and keeping his eyes shut tightly. “Um... Now where is my chair? Can someone at least help me to my chair?”

“Yeeeeah... We would, but Alpha is currently pointing his gun at well.... Anyone remotely five feet near you.” Queen Chyrsalis said..

“Aw... wait a minute. Have you and Alpha worked all that.. Uh funny business out you guys had long ago?” Slayerbro asked as he shaikly rose and put his hooves on the table.

There was a loud bang next to him and some wood flew up in the air, Slayer fell back to the floor since try hearing a loud bang next to your ear whilst blind.... That would scare the fuck out of anyone.

“MADRE HIJO DE PUTA!!!” Slayerbro yelled out before sighing and continuing to crawl. He let out a groan before lifting his head clicking his tongue. After a moment he began to crawl back towards his chair. He finally reached it and pulled himself up before saying.

“Can I have my goggles back now?”

“You want these?” Alpha said holding them forward in front of him.

“Yes.” Slayer said as he tried to grab them, Alpha just pulled his hand away. “Oh you dick.”

“Oh... Maybe I should just....” There was a loud crashing and lots of ruined glass. “Oops... Seems like I ruined your glasses.”

“Goggles moron. And now I have to go get my spares.” Slayerbro said getting out of his seat and clicking his tongue again before walking towards the door and Roger was still sitting in Alpha’s lap for some reason. He walked over to the door before opening them and going.
“I.... SHALL RETURN!!!!” He yelled out before galloping out and running into a wall. “Ow.... Now to the cars!... Why do I have a car?”

“Because you are one lazy fuck.” Tucker said.

“Oh yeah.....” Slayerbro mumbled before getting up and clicking his tongue so he could ‘see’ where he was going. “I LOVE ECHOLOCATION!..” Thump. “FUTUO!!... I going to stab you with pliers you jerk!” Then there was a small scream of pain. “Hey come back here! Don’t run! I need those!..... Aw damn.”

Alpha just shook his head before slowly starting to pet Roger, then stroking her mane. “Yeees, everything is falling into my plan of world domination.”

“Your plans of world domination went out the window when we started working together!!” Slayerbro yelled from down the hall.

“I CAN STILL DREAM!” Alpha yelled back. He just kept stroking Roger’s mane, whom was purring at the affection, when he stroked her again she nuzzled his hand.

Of course Rino didn’t notice this because he had fallen asleep against Alphas throne... Yep, he was so bored, he fell asleep. After about ten minutes Slayerbro came back with another set of goggles and went back to his seat.

“There. I can actually see now.” He said happily leaning back in his seat. “Alright... What were we talking about?”

Chapter 1: Arrival...

Chapter 1: Arrival...

Okay lets get this straight. I did NOT want to attend a private school and I did NOT want to go to another planet for another vacation. SO what did my parents do? They enrolled me in a private school in this place called cantorlot! Not only that the school is on the different planet. well...that's not entirely correct. The place I am going is in a completely different dimension. So in short...I am unhappy. Not to sound negative, but I don't like to leave the comfort of my home unless its to get food or hang out with my friends. Which I won't see for a few months and yes, my friends freaked out when they learned I was leaving. Most of them wished me luck while the other said they were going to miss me. Any way enough with my ranting. My name is Slayer Broman and this is my life...at Cantorlot's private school.

I am arriving at the school right now only it's not by bus or car, but by a freaking flying carriage!! Needless to say I didn't feel very safe or protected by the fact I was being propelled through the air by pegasi and a rather small box. As we landed I finally let go of the seat leaving five small indents in the fabric. I stepped out into the sunlight and quickly clasped a hand over my mouth hoping to god I didn't spew the breakfast I ate.

"Are you okay sir?" One of the pegasi pulling the carriage asked. I nodded and turned to face him. The pegasus was about up to my waist, gray coat, and wore what appeared to be armor.

"Yea. I'm okay. Just my first time in a flying carriage." I replied with a smile. He returned the smile and nodded. Then he began to unlatch himself from the carriage. I used the time to take a look at my surroundings. I hadn't had the time when I first walked through that portal. The place was beautiful to say the least. As I was taking in my surroundings I felt someone tug on my trench coat that I wore in case it rained. I looked down to see the guard was using his teeth to pull on my coat. He let go when he saw me look at him.

" Sir where would you like your luggage to be taken?" He asked. I chuckled.

" I'll take my things, but i'd be grateful if you knew what dorm I will be staying in." I said as I looked at the small amount of luggage I had. All I had was two suitcases, one of which was just full of my entertainment such as my xbox, games, controllers and other necessities, and a computer bag or computer satchel as my friends called it.

He slightly frowned then perked back up. " Well I am sorry to say I don't know what your dorm number is, but I can direct you to a area that does know."

"Very well and thanks. Let me just do a quick inventory check." I said as I walked over to my things. I opened them to check the contents. 'cloths, cloths, games, xbox(thank god), other stuff. good now the things on my person.' I quickly patted my self down for the items I always had on me. 'my galaxy player, my wallet, my phone, my headphone, and my glasses's cleaning cloth.' oh yeah I never told you about me did I? Well, I am about 6ft tall, I have coal black hair, and I wear glasses. The clothing I wear consists of a white T-shirt, a trench coat, Blue jeans, and a real tree camo beanie with a bill that my father gave me for my birth day. also I wear black Nikes.

"Alrightly then let's get my room dorm so I can settle in." I said with another smile. To be honest I am freaking out right now. I don't handle new places very well, nor do I care for new people...or ponies in this case.

He gladly returned the smile and gestured for me to follow. I picked up my luggage and threw the computer bag's strap over my shoulder and with that I began to follow him.

'Dear god I hope I can make this quick...' I thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a few more uncomfortable moments I got my schedule and dorm number. I was also informed I had a roommate as well as me NOT being the only human here. 'Thank god for that...' I thought as I exited the office. The strange armored pony had long since left when we arrived, so I was on my own.

"OKAY...where is room 3B..." I muttered as I walked down the halls. I saw a pony that was having trouble with his/her locker and as much as I didn't want to get involved I had to help him/her. My upbringing always told me to help others when they needed it. I walked over to the pony and tapped him/her on the shoulder. She flinched and turned around to face me. Her face told me that she was having a bad day. I took a moment to see what she looked like before saying something. The pony was mint green with a mane of the same color only with a white strip in it. Her eyes were simply gold and her expression told me she wasn't in the mood for anything else going wrong.

"Hello there. What seems to be the problem with your locker?" She almost immediately loosened up after I asked.

"well.." SHE began. 'yep definetly a girl' " some of the pegasi in this school thought it'd be funny to glue my locker shut." She said with a huff and a kick at her locker. 'glue huh...shouldn't be that hard.'

"Well...here let me try. Also my name is Slayer. Slayer Broman." I said as I took hold of the handle on her locker.

"The names Lyra Heartstrings." I nodded and gave the locker a little tug. It gave a small amount. 'Okay not to bad. A good tug should loosen this up.' "Okay you might wanna stand back."

"Why would I do that?" She asked.

"well..for one of two reasons. 1: This locker will fly open and hit you or me in the face or 2: I will fall backwards when this thing opens." I replied.

" ah...okay then." She went back a few paces and sat down watching. I focused on the locker again after she was a safe distance away. " Okay...1...2...3!" I yanked pretty hard and as I predicted, I fell backwards as the locker opened. Needless to say Lyra was laughing pretty hard. "yea yea live it up Lyra. Your locker is open though."

She giggled a bit more then walked over. "Well thank you very much. I owe you one." She raised a hoof to help me up. I smiled as I took it and pulled my self into a crouch then stood up.

"In that case can you help me find my dorm?" I asked almost pleading for her to help me. She nodded and gestured for me to go to her height. I hadn't really paid it much attention, but ponies....they're small. I mean this pony's head barley passes my belly button. Anyway I knelt down and showed her the paper. She read the paper and went wide eyed. Then she grew a small smile.

"Oh yeah I know where that room is. Follow me!" She quickly grabbed some stuff from her locker before closing it and picking her stuff up with magic. I slightly flinch each time I see magic in use. I don't know why, but something about it just makes me get a little unnerved. With her stuff gather I picked up my luggage and followed her. 'This is gonna be a loooooong year....' I thought as I followed the slightly spastic pony.

Author's Note:

well...what do you think?

Chapter 3: A Happy Accident

Chapter 3: A Happy Accident

The rest of the day went off without a hitch after the little incident in the hallway. Lyra came back ,after mysteriously disappearing, demanding to know why there were two complete strangers in he- *ahem* OUR dorm. I explained what happened and she calmed down. Then I showed her the xbox...BIGGEST mistake of my young life. I swear I'll never get the thing back now. Although showing her DeadSpace 2 was FUCKING hilarious! She screamed and fainted into my lap when the first necromorph popped out. Oh well it is 11:00 at night and I have class tomorrow. I sighed and picked the small pony up off my lap. I was about to open her room when I realized she would kill me if she found out and somehow appearing in your own bed after fainting is pretty solid evidence that I would have done it. So I did the only thing I could think of...I gave her my bed and grabbed a pillow then slept on the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I awoke the next morning to a very angry yell. " WHAT THE BUCK AM I DOING IN HERE!?"

"well she's awake..." I mumbled to myself. I sleepily got off the couch and proceeded to enter my room where Lyra was freaking out. " HEY!.." I yelled at her flailing body. She quickly stopped and looked at me. "What is going on!? I was sleeping peacefully and you woke me up with your insane screaming!"

She glared at me then got all teary eyed. "I-I'm sorry...I didn't mean to sleep in your b-"

"THAT is what your yelling about?!" She looked confused. " I put you there after you fainted from that game!!" She seemed to relax after I said that.

"S-so I didn't sneak into here?" She asked.

"Umm...no. Why would that matter?" I asked a little worried about the answer.

"I had a bad habit of sneaking into the beds of my roommates in the night." She said with a heavy blush.

"May I inquire why?" I was hoping this wasn't leading to what I thought it was.

"Well...Sometimes it would be because of a nightmare or because of some strange sound that woke me up and the occasional loneliness." She said with the same blush. Whether that blush was outta embarrassment or something else I didn't care OR want to know.

"Okay just to ease my curiosity when you say loneliness do you mean outta actual loneliness or the OTHER kind of loneliness?" She cocked her head to the side in confusion then quickly blushed and almost yelled.

"Actual loneliness!! Why would you even ask that!?"

"Curiosity mostly." I replied

"Curiosity killed the cat..." She said with a hint of malice in her voice.

" But satisfaction brought it back!" I said with a smirk. She looked like she was about to retort, but just grumbled something and walked outta my room.

I got dressed in my normal attire(a white T, jeans, and my trench coat), grabbed my computer bag and schedule, quickly found my dorm keys, told lyra goodbye, and left.

'today is going to be a long day' I thought as I put my headphones in and played some skillet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wondered around until I realized, not only had school not started, but that I never actually looked at my schedule. I stopped in a very large hallway with lockers all over the right side.

"well lets see what there is to see..." I pulled the paper out and read it silently.

8:00-8:45 Period 1: Pony History with Miss Cherilee

8:50-9:35 Period 2: Gym with Rainbow Dash

9:40-10:25 Period 3: Animal studies with Fluttershy

10:30-11:15 Period 4: Magic studies( human/unicorn) with Twilight Sparkle

11:20-12:05 Period 5: Mathmatics with Mr. Notebook

12:10-1:00 Lunch

1:05-1:50 Period 6: Cooking with Pinkie Pie

1:55-2:40 Period 7: Study hall/ Free period with Rarity

"Well...I got.." I looked at a nearby clock hanging on a wall. It was 7:50. "Ten minutes...With my luck that is how long it'll take for me to find my first class...Let's start walking."

Again I wandered around the school until I accidently bumped into someone. We both fell on the floor and I lost my schedule with the other lost her hat or something because I heard a small *ting!* as it hit the floor. I began to help the pony up and picked up her head-wear.

"Oh god! I am so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going and-" I stopped my onslaught of apologies when I picked up a moon light blue tiara." Uhh.. is this yo-"

Again I stopped when I noticed who I was helping up. It was a midnight blue pony with both wings and a horn. Her cutie-mark was a, what looked like a, Ink blot with a moon in it. The pony was giving me a nasty glare as she looked from me to what I was holding. I shook off my confusion and gave her the tiara. The next thing I noticed about the pony was her mane. It was like looking into the night its self and her eyes were a beautiful shade of blue.

She finished putting the tiara on when she started to yell at me.

"WHO ARE THEE THAT SO RUDELY DISRUPTED OUR TOUR OF THIS ACADEMY!!" I gritted my teeth and covered my ears in pain from the volume of her voice.

"If you would please lower your voice I would be more than happy to tell you." I said with a slightly pained expression. Her Expression only harden as she said in a MUCH quieter tone.

"Very well. Now tell us why thee interrupted our tour?" I took a breath and began.

"Well madam, I was looking for my class before the bell rang. I must have been looking at my schedule or MP3 when I bumped into you. Which I am terribly sorry for. It was entirely my fault and hope you accept my apologies."

Her expression softened and then went quizzical. "Wait a minute here...Thou art not afraid of me?" It was my turn to get the puzzled face.

"Why would anyone be afraid of such a lovely pony as your self?" I mentally slapped my self for saying that. I probably just fuck up big now. Instead of yelling at me or anything else that previously has happened to me, she blushed.

"Y-you think we art...lovely?" I smiled and nodded. 'smoooth slayer....smooth.' I thought.

"Well thank thou for the compliment and we art sorry for yelling at thee." She said with a small trace of her blush still visible.

"I forgive you. At least I didn't go deaf right?" I chuckled and she giggled. "Well nice talking to you. Cya around." I began to walk off when she gently grabbed my fore arm with a hoof and I turned around.

I didn't, YET AGAIN, notice her height. She, unlike most ponies, came up to my chin. If you counted her horn she was a inch taller. "What Is thine's name?" I smiled.

"It's slayer ma'am. Slayer Broman." I stated with a happy expression.

"Well Slayer, I am princess Luna ,ruler of the night!, and it was nice 'bumping' into you." She giggled and I gave a chuckle. Then what she did next I DID NOT expect. She gave me a small hug before blushing and running off down one of the halls. I smiled wide until I had a thought.

'wait did she say PRINCESS!?!?!' I thought as I stole once last glance at the 'Ruler of the night!' before she disappeared around the corner. I shook my head and went to find my schedule.

I looked around for the damned piece of paper until ,Yet again, I bumped into someone. Only this time no one fell down.

"Oh sorry I wasn't looking where I was going.." This guy said. I looked at the guy I bumped into. He had light brown hair and hazel eyes. From my view point he was about 2 inches shorter than me. also he was also not skinny, but did not have any muscles visibly showing.

I held up a hand and shook my head. "No I'm sorry. This is the second time today I have bumped into someone. My name is slayer by the way." I held out my hand. He looked at it then shook it. This also gave me sometime to get a good look at him....NOT that way perverts...Any way he was wearing a red shirt and jeans with a black backpack.

"My name is Brony. Brony Armed." He said with a smile.

"Hey you new here?" I asked wondering.

"Actually yes I am. Just got here yesterday, but I am having trouble finding my classes. May I ask why you wanted to know?" I just shrugged.

" I am a curious guy and you had the new guy personality going on." I said as I saw my schedule under his foot. " Oh hey! my schedule I have been wondering where that son of a bitch flew off to."

He lifted his foot as I grabbed it and took a small peak at my schedule. "Oh dude look you and me got the same first class and second for that matter!" He said with a little enthusiasm.

"We do?" He took out his schedule and showed me. "Well I'll be a damned purple elephant...Let's get going then!" I began to walk in a different direction when I walked back to him and asked "Hey...where this room is anyway?"

He chuckled and gestured for me to follow him. We walked to the class room completely oblivious to a pony following us.

"I am watching you boy..." The mysterious figure said.

Chapter 15: Great morning, accidents, and emotional destruction.

Chapter 15

A/N: Hey guys, this is going to be a funky chapter. It’s got some character building, major feels, and d’aws. You have been warned.

I finally got back to my dorm when I saw Lyra walking towards Church’s dorm. Since I was in a better mood I was going to try and make up. “Hey Lyra!”

She looked at me before somewhat receding. “O-oh. Hey Slayer.”

“Look Lyra. I am sorry about earlier. I wasn’t myself and just wanted to say I was sorry.” I said still feeling like a douche for doing what I did earlier. She seemed to lighten up and smiled.

“It’s okay. You gave a good reason and that little concert you and Church put on pretty much made up for it.” She said happily. I nodded and unlocked my dorm before walking in.

I looked around the, still, trashed dorm. I sighed and walked over to my xbox before grabbing my copy of Black Ops 2 and walking back out. Locking up my dorm I took out Church’s key and opened up his dorm. I went inside and put in the game before sitting on his couch. I noticed that Church had a custom made Xbox shell that had a Blue spartan on it holding a sniper rifle it also glowed a soft blue.

I started up a solo game of Zombies before I saw Lyra walk in. She trotted over and sat down next to me before doing her daily routine of laying across my lap and napping. I paused my game and looked at her before shaking my head and unpausing my game.

After a few minutes of playing Zombies I heard someone knock on the door. I paused again before hearing “Why the fuck am I knocking on my own door?” I heard Church say from the other side of the door.

Being the smart ass I always am I said. “Come in!”

Church then opened the door and stepped inside then he did a classic thing.

“Honey, I’m home!” Church yelled as he now was inside his own dorm.

I laughed and tossed him his dorm key back. “Thanks for letting me and Lyra stay here for the night. I hope you know you and her are going to be cleaning that mess of a dorm up tomorrow.”

“Yeah.... Sure, I will help clean it up.” Church said as he walked into the kitchen, but not before closing the door and locking it since it was quite late.

“Hey I just realized-” Church said as he put down the keys on the counter and opened the fridge in a fluid movement. “-That I still have no roomie... Oh yeah wait I converted that room into a studio, but the bed is still there...” he said as closed the fridge and was holding a energy drink and a soda.

“That works. Hey do you have anything that isn’t an energy drink in there?” I asked not taking my eyes off the screen.

“Oh you mean this?” Church said as he raised the soda can a little higher than the energy drink

“Yeah like that. Want me to start up a different match?” I said taking hold of the soda and pausing my game.

“Nah you can continue with your game, just got some rental and electrical bills I have to pay. You know priorities and shit.” Church said with a sigh as he looked at some papers that were stacked on the counter

“Ah yes. The constant toil of man and money.” I said opening my drink and taking a sip before returning to my game. “Just don’t stay up the whole night like you usually do.”

“Oh it won’t take that long, I hope.” Church said as he went into his room holding a few of papers from the stack.

I shook my head and chuckled before grabbing his headset and calling up Luna over the chat. She was in a game, but that didn’t stop her from joining the chat. ‘Damn. Girl works fast.’

“Hello Slayer! How was thou’s conversation with thee’s father?” She asked. I sighed and smiled.

“Well it certainly went better than I thought. My dad and mom seem to be more or less okay with it.” I said while I played my game.

“What does thou mean by that?” She said a little more curious than usual. “It doesn’t sound that good.”

“It’s fine actually just um... Well, they would like to get together to meet you.” I said wincing a bit expecting someone to yell.

“OH COME ON. I DID NOT FUCKING RENT THAT!” I heard Church yell from his room.

‘Well I was somewhat right.’ I thought. Luna on the other hand was being rather quiet. “Luna? You okay with this? It’s okay if you’re not. I will just tell them that you didn’t have the time or something.”

“We.... We have an idea, but we wish not to discuss it over a machine. Please stand back for a moment.” She said before the chat call ended. I took off Church’s headset and looked at it quizzically. ‘What did she mean by that?’ I thought.

Suddenly there was a sudden buzzing coming from the center of the room. I blinked before a small blue orb began to float in the middle of the room. It slowly got brighter and brighter until there was a ear shattering CRACK. It was so loud that I jumped off the couch and landed face first on the floor while Lyra was just launched towards Church’s room.

“SLAYER I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU BROKE MY T-” I heard Church yell walking out of his room, but he was interrupted by Lyra clinging to him.

I looked from Church to whatever was in the middle of the floor. I was astonished to see Luna standing proudly in the middle of the room with a smug smile on her face.

“Oh it’s just you Luna...” Church said with a sigh of relief as he was standing in the doorway. “I thought you really fucked up something expensive there Slayer.”

“Oh, uh, Church you have something right here.” I said while gesturing to my upper half.

“Huh?” Church said as he looked down and saw Lyra, who was clinging to his chest. “What the fuck is this?”

I shrugged and got up from my place on the floor. “Here let me help.”

Getting up from the floor, I walked over and slowly began to pry the scared-shitless pony off him. It took a few moments before she actually let go, but sadly she was shivering worse that a hairless cat in a pile of snow. I put her into Church’s arms and then walked back over to Luna.

Church just sighed heavily again from behind me. I gave a light laugh and hugged the princess in the middle of the room. “How did you do that?” I asked as I continued to hug her.

She hugged me back then pointed to her horn. “Magic.”

I facepalmed and chuckled. “Of course.... Magic”

“Uuuuh. Guys, I think Lyra might be in shock or something....” I heard Church say from his room. I sighed and let go of Luna before walking over to his room. I Looked inside and saw Lyra on his bed still shaking like crazy.

“I have no fucking idea what to do right now...” Church said with a pained expression. I shook my head before walking over to Lyra and picking her up with the blanket and putting her back into Church’s arms.

“Just keep her warm and help her calm down. Just coo at her and say soft words and she will be fine. It’s like calming a child down during a thunderstorm.” I finished and Church just looked at me weird. “I... Babysat kids and animals back home. I picked up a few things.”
“What the fu- he- hors- sh- You know what.... That is so weird I can’t even come up with the right curse word for it....” Church said still looking at me weirdly.

“Say bugger. It works for me. And stop looking at me like that!” I said as I walked out of the room and back into the living room. Luna had sat onto the couch and was currently looking around and inspecting Church’s dorm.

“Is that a 47 inch T.V.?” Luna asked.

“Yup. Church really goes all out when it comes to gaming.” I said walking over and sitting next to her.

“Do be careful with my stuff!” Church said from his room before going back to calming down Lyra.

“We will!” I yelled back. “So what is it you wanted to talk about?”

“Oh yes. We wanted to discuss this meeting of the parents.” She said shifting in her seat a bit. I just chuckled and hugged her.

“Well what would you like to do about it? You want to meet them or should I just tell them to call it off?” I asked as I heard Church doing as I asked for Lyra. ‘That is going to be an odd moment when she calms down.’

“We would not mind meeting them, but the question is how will we meet them? We certainly can’t go out in public. That would cause a massive uproar.” Luna said leaning into my hug and huffing.

“Hmm. That is a problem isn’t it. And I don’t think my parents would be happy about having to go to a castle to meet you. Plus they don’t like to be pampered.” I said leaning back a little bit. We began to just think for a while. The best part was we were subconsciously shifting to get comfortable and somehow ended up with Luna laying against my stomach with my arms around her and my head on hers.

“What if-? Naw I don’t think that would work.” I said going back to my thinking. That was about the time that Church had calmed down Lyra. He walked out with said pony still bundled in his arms, but thankfully asleep.

“Well.... I see that you two are comfy... Anyhow, I’m just going to put Lyra in the studio... No wait, she can take my bed.” Church said awkwardly before turning and walking back into his room.

“Right....” I began to mull over it again before I got another idea. “Hey Luna?”

“Hmm?” She hummed as she looked up at me.

“Do you know any type of disguise spells?” I said letting the idea form with more detail in my head.

“Why yes actually! We usually use it on Nightmare Night though.” She said smiling as she reminisced about the fun she had. “What are you planning?”

“Well if you can change your appearance I believe I have an idea.” I said smiling. Then I heard something odd... It sounded like singing and it was coming from Church’s room. “What the...One moment Luna. I have to see if what I think is going on is actually happening.”

She nodded and got off, but laid back down when I got up. “Oh just wanted the warm spot huh?”

She nodded again with a smug smile and I walked over to Church’s room. I quietly entered and saw that Church was sitting in front of his computer which had a triple screen setup with a keyboard with glowed a soft blue and his computer tower which had L.E.D lights that were glowing blue too. I heard music coming from his Serberia V2 headset which nonetheless was blue too.

Church was subconsciously singing along with the song. I shook my head and let him be. I had intruded enough into what he did in his spare time. ‘He is a good singer though I will give him that.’ I thought as I walked back to Luna.

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

It was all I caught of him singing before quietly closing the door to his room. I would most likely nag him about it later, but right now I will let him enjoy himself. I went to the couch and sat next to luna before she crawled back onto me and we went back to what we were doing.

“So....Like I was saying earlier, if you can change your appearance then I believe that we can go out into public without causing a massive scene.” I said.

“Alright then. Shall I demonstrate what I can do?” She said. I looked to her before shrugging and nodding. “Okay one moment.”

Her horn glowed brightly before she changed into a larger mare with a solid black coat with the same mane only with darker shades of color. Her eyes had changed to those of a cat. I blinked before my jaw dropped. She smiled at me revealing a nice set of fangs before changing back and laying back down.

“Well that certainly answers that question.” I said still a little stunned. She chuckled a little while I placed a hand on my chin. “This does help though. So you can change everything. Including your size and eyes. Alright this actually works! Oh wait....Can you make it to where your wings are gone?”

She shook her head, which more or less felt like she was rubbing her face against me, and I sighed. “Then that puts a hole in my plan. WAIT! I have an idea!”

I gently rolled her onto the couch before running to the door and unlocking it before running to my dorm and unlocking it as well. I stepped inside and looked around the destoryed mess until I found what I was looking for. A gunmetal grey hoodie that I used to wear before I got my trench coat. I picked it up and walked outside. I locked my door and went back to Church’s dorm and, again, locking it.

“Tons of security for such a prestigious school. Odd.” I walked back in and flopped onto the couch. Luna looked at me like I was crazy and I sat up. “Just change your appearance and then put this over to cover your wings!”

She looked from it to me before shrugging and taking the hoodie in her magic. She struggled to put it on for a moment until she got the thing on mostly and then she just stopped. She wiggled a bit before she poked her muzzle out of the neck hole.

“We think we see a flaw in thee’s plan.” She huffed. I was truly on the verge of laughing, but for her sake I contained myself. I did, however, take out my phone and took a picture of her. Then the unexpected happened, Church poked his head out of his room.

“Uhh guys did someon-” Church stopped mid-sentence as he laid his eyes on Luna. He was close to laughing, but I motioned him to stay quiet. I then helped Luna out a little bit by pulling the hoodie over her head and guided her hooves through the arm sleeves.

Church mouthed without saying anything “She looks ridiculous.” Before stifling a chuckle.

I shook my head and chuckled a bit. “What is it?” I asked looking to him.

“She looks abit-” Church chuckled a bit “-unfancy”

“Nice save.” I said as I turned to Luna. “Well does it fit?”

“It does, but it somewhat pulls my hair down.” She said trying to get her mane out of the jacket. I chuckled and helped her out. I gently pulled out her, for some odd reason, everflowing mane out of the coat and let it....well it doesn’t fall, so flow out normally.

“Better?” I asked. She nodded and smiled. I leaned back against the couch again and sighed happily. “Well now at least we have a plan.”

Then I heard beeping from Church kitchen and to my surprise he was standing there, warming something in the microwave. ‘Church can really be sneaky when he wants to...’ I thought.

“Alright. Now that we have a plan, I, sadly, must adjourn. I will-”

“You should kiss now!” I heard Church yell from the kitchen. I picked up the videogame case on the coffee table and threw it at him before looking back to Luna.

“Ow fuck! My nose!” I again heard Church yell from the kitchen.

“Continue.” I said to Luna as she giggled at Church’s misfortune.

“As we were saying. We have to go. Tia will be wondering where we went and get worried.” She said standing up.

“Why don’t you just stay here?” I suddenly blurted out. ‘Why did I say that?’

“NOW KISS?!” Church yelled as he was peeking from behind the counter.

This time Luna took a game case and threw it at him. “W-well. We would have to tell Tia that we will be staying the night, so she doesn’t stress. She has been very protective ever since we came back.”

“OW! THE FRONT OF MY FACE!” Church sobbed from behind the counter. I chuckled at Church and then looked to Luna.

“Should have stopped while you were ahead! Any way I have my phone you could call her.” I said pulling out my cell. She pondered it for a moment before taking the phone in her magic. Using her hoof she pressed a few buttons and wait for a moment.

“Wait where would we sleep?” Luna asked

“Ah, I can move Lyra to the studio bed and you two can have my Queen-size bed.” Church said as he had stood up and was now wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “If you get what I mean.”

I looked to Luna as she looked to me and we both grabbed a game case before pegging Church from the living room. “SHADDUP!” I yelled at him. “But he does have a point. We can just share a bed.”

“OW! GEEZ THE BACK OF MY HEAD.” Church again sobbed from behind the counter.

“Well....Alright. We will call Tia and tell her we are staying here tonight.” Luna said as she finished dialing and called up her sister. I left her to do her thing and I walked over to the kitchen where Church was sitting behind the counter with a pile of game cases next to him.

“Sup?” I asked as I sat down next to him.

“Major headache. How ‘bout you?” He replied casualy.

“Other than really happy, I am pretty good.” I said leaning against the counter.

“That’s nice... hey mind checking the cabinet behind you? Might be some aspirin in there...” Church said rubbing his forehead.

“Sure.” I got up and looked in the cabinet I was leaning against and pulled out a small bottle. “These what you want?”

“Yes. Gimmie.” Church said with a childish voice. I shook my head and opened up the bottle before putting two small pills in his hand . I put the cap back on and put them back before standing up.

“You good now?” I asked while going to the fridge.

“Yeah thanks for getting them.” Church said as he swallowing the pills and standing up slowly.

“Good.” I opened up the fridge before grabbing another soda for Luna and closing it. I walked out of the room and saw Luna hanging up. “Everything good?”

“Yes. Tia was understanding and just told us to ‘be home tomorrow’. Sometime We think she is more our mother than sister.” She said giving me my phone back. I chuckled and went back to the couch before flopping down.

“Got you a soda by the way.” I said putting the drink on the coffee table before picking up my own. Taking a gulp of the drink, I picked up the remote again and began to play.

“Be careful with my remotes... since both the Xbox and the controllers have custom paint jobs. And my headset to.” Church said as he walked in and sat down in a chair next to me.

“Yeah yeah. We won’t destroy your stuff.” I said as Luna walked around and sat down next to me again. “By the way. I have been meaning to ask you something.”

“Who? Me or Luna?” Church asked a bit confused.

“You Church.” I said turning to him for a moment before going back to my game.

“Ah, well shoot.” Church said.

“What is with you as of late? I mean I understand that you’re weird like everyone, myself included, but you have been acting off lately.” I said as I slaughtered a few more zombies.

“How do yo- get the insta kill by the way. You mean?” Church said as he pointed at the T.V. to show where the power up were.

“Thanks.” I ran threw the power up and pulled out my pistol. “What I meant was do you have something on your mind? Or someone?” I said with a shit eating grin.

“Ye- I mean no.” Church quickly changed his mind.

“Oh ho! Who is the lucky mare?” I said looking at him for a moment.

“Like I’m goi- firesale right there.” Church again pointed to the T.V. “Going to tell you.”

“Thank you.” I said as I ran through the power up. “Can I take a guess?”

“No...” Church said hesitantly but knew that I was going to do it anyways.

“It’s Tia isn’t it?” I said pausing my game to give him a shiteating grin.

Church cringed at the guess. “Nooooo?” He asked himself.

“What is going on?” Luna asked confused.

“Just a simple interrogation.” I said with a smile as I turned to her. Then I turned back to Church who still looking like he was questioning something. “Is that a no to me...Or a no to the question?”

“Uhhhh.... I’m feeling conflicted here! To believe I’m getting interrogated! In my own dorm! Can you believe it?” He said to no one in particular.

“Yes. Now just answer the question. Is it Tia?” I said again, but going back to my game.

“No.” Church said a bit too quickly.

“Hmmm. Considering how many times I caught you staring, I am gonna have to say..... I don’t believe you.” I said still not taking my eyes off the game.

“What are you talking about?” Luna asked again.

“Oh nothing. Just the fact the Church here might possibly have cru-” I began to explain.

“I do not. Have. A. Crush on Celly.” Church said quickly.

“Your flushed cheeks and tone suggest different.” I said grinning at him again.

“I… I.... I hate you right now.” Church said as he looked away.

“So I am right.” I said with a hint of triumph in my voice.

“No! No... Noh. Nein. nyet.” Church said. “I can say it in a few more languages...”

“Well....Yes, yes, wei, and si. And I can say yes. Deal with it! I am right!” I responded.

“Why are you so mean?!” Church said with a childish voice and flailing around with his arms.

“Because your a child. Anyway just admit it!” I said with grinning.

“No! Alright fine if you shut up.” Church said in defeat.

“Then say it.” I said with a sadistic grin. I quietly pulled out my phone and pulled up the recording setting as Church began to talk

Church sighed heavily and said “Alright fine, I, Lenoard Alpha, have a crush on Celestia.”

I did a small fist pump, stopped and hid me phone, and then smiled. “Glad to hear it. Now you can just stop pretending and actually do something about it!” I said happily.

“Um. one moment. Thee has a crush on our sister?” Luna said looking to Church.

“Uh.... Maybe?” Church nervously replied. Then Luna tackled Church and squeed.

“Oh this is glorious! Our sister will be so happy when thou tells her!” Luna said while I laughed out loud.

“Well this was not the reaction I was expecting” Church said.

“Neither was I!! But it’s still funny!” I said while falling off the couch I was laughing so hard. “Still.... Are you gonna do something about this next time we go to visit Luna and Tia?”

“Uh... Eh....” Church makes weird noises when he was thinking. “Maybe?”

“Tell you what. Since you helped me I will do my best to help you. Which you will need because I am apparently horrible with women and mares.” I said letting out a chuckle and rubbing the back of my head. I got off the floor and got back onto the couch.

“Well I got the courage to talk to them.... But to say ‘I love you’. I’m not even sure if I could formulate that with other words.” Church said seriously. “Oh and uh... Luna can you like get off?”

She smiled sheepishly and quickly got off Church before returning to her seat. “Sorry. We just got excited.”

“Eh, I understand that I’m hot, but come on! You got your boy toy right here-” Church gestured towards me “- You need to restrain yourself!”

“Hey! I am not a boy toy!” I said defensively.

“They way she is looking at you. You might as well be.” Church said wiggling his eyebrows again.

“Oh god...” I said putting my face in my hands. “You’re awful. Well, now that I have been thoroughly embarrassed and disgusted I am going to go to sleep.”

“Really? Oh come on, can’t take a joke?” Church asked a bit surprised.

“Too tired to come up with anything witty to retort with. Plus-” I head up my wrist to show my watch. “- It’s one in the morning.”

“Oh you’re a small timer then... Wait till you stay up 4 days in a row. Then the fun starts.” Church said as he got up. “Oh and ask Luna if thats true, since I heard she could sense someone’s dreams.”

“What do you mean ask if it’s true? And yes, she can sense dreams. I found that out last night.” I said walking to the Church’s room. “We are sleeping in here right?”

“Uh yeah, let me just move Lyra to the studio.” Church said as he walked past me and quietly entered his room. It was almost pitch black in there if not all of the three monitors he had were off thet probably would be illuminating half the room. A moment later he came out with Lyra in his arms holding her like a baby.

“D’aaaw.” I quietly said looking at the scene. “I see my plan worked.”

“Don’t touch the computer... I know you probably want too...” Church said quietly “Also it worked perfectly.” he added.

“Alright then. Night.” I said as I walked in. Unfortunately I tripped, but since lady luck didn’t want to fuck me over yet, I landed on the bed.

“Smooooth.” I heard Church say before walking away with Lyra to the other room.

“Like a boss!” I yelled to him before getting comfortable on the bed. “Thanks by the way and goodnight!”

Since the lights were already off I didn’t have to worry about them and was already dozing off. Right as I was about to pass out, I felt something press against my chest and fidget before I heard a sigh. I opened one eye and saw something waving in the blackness of the room.

“Goodnight Luna.” I said before wrapping my arms around the mare. I used one hand to gently find her head and then guided her face to mine before giving her a gentle kiss and laying back down.

“Goodnight Slayer.” She said with a happy sigh. Soon sleep brought me to the familiar void of nothingness.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

I was having a pleasant dream of doing nothing and, for some damned reason, was on a beach. Not bad until...... Extremely loud dubstep started playing from nowhere.

“WUB WUB MOTHERFUUUCKERS! WAKEY WAKEY!” I heard someone yell.

I ‘woke’ up by shooting up to see none other than Church standing there smiling like an idiot. “WHAT THE FUCK CHURCH!?!?” I yelled not too happy about being woken up by dubstep.

“PFFT HAHA! YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE!” Church yelled.

“I AM GONNA FOLLOW THE WORDS OF THE SONG AND KILL YA!!” I said throwing off the covers and tried to get up, but Luna somehow was sleeping as a rock. She had grabbed me in the middle of the night and with her grip I was going nowhere.

“ALRIGHT I’LL TURN IT OFF!” Church yelled over the music and took a step back. What I failed to notice was his eyes, they had huge bags under them and he looked more tired than anything in the world right now. Right as he took a step back he tripped and landed on his back instantly falling asleep.

“Nice Church nice.” I muttered. I looked to Luna and then to the door where the music was blaring. I sighed and began to pry Luna’s legs off me. After about a minute and a half I got loose enough to wiggle away from her death grip. I put a pillow where I was and left to go turn the music down. I saw the music screen playing on the Xbox and I walkover and just turned it off.

Finally getting some silence I looked at my watch. “It’s....It’s......FIVE IN THE FUCKING MORNING.” I said maybe a bit too loud.

Grumbling curses and threats to Church’s well being I decided a little payback was in order. I walked into Church’s closet and grabbed several sweaters’s and long sleeve shirts before throwing them on top of Church and dragging him out of the room and into the living room. That is where I proceeded to flip him over and began to Hog tie him with the sweaters and shirts acting as rope for the moment.

Then picking him up I looked around for a moment to see if there was anything else I could do at the moment. I thought about tying him to the ceiling for a moment, but just shrugged it off and went to the next best thing. I walked to the studio and saw Lyra sleeping happily all cuddled up against a pillow. I inwardly d’aw and walked over to the bed. I gently placed Church on the bed before tying his feet to the end bed posts and a single shirt around his neck for a makeshift collar. I took a step back to admire my work and grinned evilly. Doing one last piece of revenge and Church I took Lyra and , ever so carefully, placed her on top of him and sprawled her out.

The scene could most certainly be mistaken and I just had to have a picture to keep this moment because I would most likely forget by the time I went back to bed. I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture adding it to my collection before walking back to Luna on the bed.

I flopped back onto the bed before taking the pillow from Luna’s arms and sliding back into her embrace. Feeling her hug me again, I did the same and happily went back to dreamland.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

I woke up with a nice yawn and no wubs. I stretched and saw that Luna was still hugging me on her sleep. Not wanting to really get up anyway, I layed back down and attempted to get some more sleep. It was futile though. I couldn’t get back to sleep and I hate laying in bed when that happens. I wiggled out of Luna’s grip and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before hopping out of bed.

I yawned and stretched as I walked towards the kitchen. Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed a soda from the fridge and opened it. I checked my watch as I sipped my soda.

“It’s nine? That’s awesome. I got some sleep for once. I love winter vacation.” I said as I plopped on the couch and sighed. “What to do....What to do.”

I slapped my knee as I got an idea and went to Church’s door. I unlocked and opened up the door and went to my dorm. “Why do we need so much security?” I said while unlocking my dorm.

I went inside before walking to my room and then remembering what happened the previous day. I groaned and went back to the living room and grabbed some new clothing. I walked over to the dorm’s bathroom, knowing full well that I didn’t want to go in Church’s shower. ‘Plus my slight germ phobia doesn’t help either.’ I thought as I entered the bathroom.

I quickly showered before grabbing my clothes, changing into them, and then walking back to Church’s dorm. When I came back I looked around for anything to do. At first I thought about waking up Luna, but she looked so peaceful, so I did not want to do that. Then I looked at the T.V. ‘Maybe play some more Xbox?’ I thought until I heard some faint music coming from where the so called studio was.

Walking over to the room, I opened it up to immediately get assaulted by the mass amount of drum and bass. It was good, I am not gonna lie. Just LOUD. I walked in somewhat covering my ears while they adjusted to the music. Church was singing something, but I wasn’t really listening. I was more or less contemplating how he got out of his bonds. After the song ended I heard a some clapping from next to the bed. I turned to see Lyra happily clapping her hooves and cheering to Church.

“Very nice Church.” I said joining in the clapping.

“Well, that song is almost finished just need some finishing touches... I have some more I have to do before I can release the album.” Church said a bit surprised

“Hey how did you get out of those sweaters?” I asked looking to the bed where a pile of clothing was placed.

Church looked at me and then the sweaters that were on the bed. “I guess you can say...” he took out a pair of sunglasses and put them on.

“I used magic” And then he hit a play button causing a loud ‘YEEEEEEEAH’ to be played.

I shook my head and threw one of the sweaters at him. “I bet you recorded that, so that one day you could use it. Anyway. I am assuming by magic you mean Lyra over there?”

“Actually she pretty much tried to cuddle me to death.” Church said unamused.

“Nice. Well anyway. I have to go....Do something.” I said scratching my head. Then I felt my phone vibrate and I pulled it out of my pocket. I checked the phone’s notifications and groaned. It was a reminder I placed on my phone yesterday to make a date with Luna so she and my parents could meet. “Augh.... Now I know what I am doing today at least. Well I am going to be calling them in your living room, so....Carry on.”

I walked out of the studio and into the living room before I plopped myself onto the couch face down and called up my parents. “Riiiiiing...... Riiiiiing.....Riiiiing.” I mocked. Finally they picked up and I took my face out of the cushion. “Hello?”

“Hello? Honey is that you?” I heard my mom ask.

“Yeah it’s me. Hey can you put dad on the phone?” I responded while looking around the room.

“But honey it was so long since I heard for you last!” ‘What?’

“Mom it was...” I check my watch to see the date. “Not even two days ago.”

“I know, but I miss you!” She said.

“Augh..... Alright alright. How are you?” I said flipping over to stare at the ceiling.

“I am doing fine! How about you.” ‘I am going to regret this....’

(~~~~~~~~~~~/)

After about 20 minutes of just random idle chit-chat with my mom, I just wanted to talk to dad and get this over with.

“Mom.... Mom.....” I said trying to stop her from continuing. “Mom.... Moooom....*Sigh* MOM... Please put dad on the phone.”

“Okay! No need to snap at me.” She said getting off the phone. I facepalmed and slowly dragged my hand off my face.

“Hello?” I heard someone say. I perked up, finally ready to end this call.

“Hey dad? It’s just me. I was calling to make that date you were talking about.” I said hopefully.

“What the hell are you talking about, Slayer? This is your brother. You know. Rasputin?” He said. I then began to dent Church’s coffee table with my forehead repeatedly. “Hello? Anyone there?”

“Sorry. Hey can you put dad on the phone? Mom seems to think that I need to converse with twenty people before I can do what I called for...”

“Yeah yeah, sure. Just gimme a moment. HEY DAD! PHONE FOR YOU!” I heard him say. I let out a sigh and slumped against the couch again. I heard the phone being passed off and then someone coughing.

“Hello? Who is this?” I heard my dad’s same gruff voice.

“Is this actually dad or is this someone else?” I said with a questioning tone.

“This is your dad. Why did you call?” He said. ‘Rather blunt like always.’

“I called to make that date so you and mom could meet Luna.” I said happily. ‘Finally gonna get this done and then I can relax.’

“Hey Slayer! Have you seen my pen?” Church asked as he poked his head through the door from the studio.

“Um...Yeah here!” I said as I picked up something and just threw it at him without looking.

“OW! FUCK MY EYE!” Church yelled as he doubled over in pain.

“Sorry! I wasn’t looking where I threw! Anyway, dad what day did you want to do this?” I said looking to Church who was leaning against the door frame holding his face.

“I think its stuck in my left eye! Oh the PAIN!” Church yelled.

“Oh suck it up! It ain’t that bad and you know it!” I yelled back.

“Actually.” Church moved away from the doorframe to reveal that a blood trail had been running down on it. “It really is stuck in my left eye.”

“Ah shit...... One second dad I have to help out my friend. he stuck a pen in his eye.” I said putting the phone down. I got up and walked over and looked. “Alright it ain’t stuck...But it did put a nasty gash in your eyebrow and everywhere else... Got any band-aids?”

“Uh, Medical cabinet over.... Uh somewhere to my left.” Church said.

“Right.” I walked over to his left and into his kitchen then looked on the left wall and saw a medical cabinet. It even had the big red cross on it. ‘Cliche, but it gets the point across.’

I opened the cabinet and took out a few rolls of sterilized bandages and some alcohol. I also took a few band-aids and some sterilized cloth. After gathering everything up I walked over and guided him to the couch. “You’re a horrible catch you know that?”
“Not my fault, the sun was in my eyes.” Church said back defensively.

“The only window is in the living room and it’s currently shaded. Now hold still this is going to sting.” I said pouring a little alcohol on a cloth before dabbing it against Church’s wounds around his eye. “That is amazing. The pen missed your eye, but you’re everything else.”

“Just my-” Church hissed as a dabbed a wound on his face. “-Luck.”

“Yeah. Considering you could get some pity from others now. Could get a date now... Maybe.” I snickered as I finished cleaning the top of his eye before going to the area around cheekbone

“Did you notice how abnormally much I bleed? I mean check that puddle of blood over there.” Church said as he jerked his thumb towards the studio door where Lyra was sitting with a pale face.

“Um Lyra? Could you get over here and calm Church? I think he is delirious from losing too much blood.” I said wiping the rest of the mess on his face away. “Alright now to do the bandages. You’ll probably be happy to know that you don’t have any SERIOUS wounds. Just a lot of cuts. Also you might have a scar on the underside of your eye.”

“Ah great.... Question still remains.... Ugh my head, anyways... Where did the cuts come from?”

“Um...One second. Hold this.” I placed a cloth in his hand and put it against the cuts before walking over to the door. I looked around and then found what I had thrown. I blinked before looking to church. “Uuuuuh....I might have possibly....Thrown a cleat at your face.”

“Ohh... You ass... Can I pass out now? Cause I feel like doing it...” Church said swaying a little bit. Lyra helped him to stabilize a bit, but not much.

“NOOOPE!...One second. Lyra keep him awake! I will call the 911...Wait....Were in Equestria! what’s the emergency call for for Equestria?!”

“Star star star!” Lyra said. I blinked and looked at her.

“Really?” I deadpanned.

“JUST CALL THE AMBULANCE!” She yelled at me. I flinched and grabbed my phone off the table and called them.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

Soon the ambulance arrived and took care of Church. Since I was the moron who wounded him, I was designated as his ‘Caretaker’ unless he went to the hospital. Lyra had thrown up as they had helped him and Luna was still sleeping like a rock. I had to move her, so the ponies and humans didn’t question why the princess of the night was sleeping a student’s dorm. I had told them that no one was in there and they just shrugged it off. I let out a sigh as they treated Church and stay away from his room.

As I stood there and watched how Church got stitched up, Brony and Hank walked up behind me.

“Hey, what happened here?” Brony asked. I yelped and whipped around. I let out a exhausted sigh and just slumped against the wall again.

“I threw a cleat at Church’s face when he asked for a pen.” I said with an embarrassed face.

“Why?” Hank asked more confused than Brony. “I mean. Were you having a bad day or something?”

“No, I just need to look at what I grab before I throw it from now on.” I said rubbing my head. “I really hope this doesn’t get out....I know it sounds selfish, but honestly. This will cause damage to everyone I know. On top of that this is more than likely going to end up on the news.”

I just slid to the floor and crossed my arms before laying them on my kneecaps. “This day has gone from great morning to total fuck up.”

All of a sudden Church walked a bit in the corridor with a pony medic after him looking extremely concerned.

“Look I told you I’m fine.” Church said as he took a few more steps. He then collapsed and said
“Okay I lied. I’m not fine.”

“I got him.” I said getting up. I picked Church off the floor and saw he had patches on his eye. I guided him back into the dorm and put him back on the couch. “Just stay here and let them finish up. Then follow them to the hospital.”

“No! That place is filled with sickness!” Church said scared.

I sighed and remember what happened the first few days I was here. “Hey doc?”

The pony turned to me. “What?” He said sounding almost annoyed.

“Would it be possible if you could just stitch him up here and send a doctor to check him out here?” I leaned over to the pony and whispered. “He has a fear of hospitals. He freaks out when he gets near’em.”

The pony sighed and looked from me to Church before nodding and going to get a needle and thread for him. I smiled and sat back on the couch with Church. But before the medic left the room he turned and said

“You do know we still need to monitor his vitals.” He said a bit annoyed.

“Yeah, but I think if he stays awake for a bit he will be fine.” I said patting Church on the back. “This guy is a tough one. He can handle a little blood loss.”

“I hope you are right.” the medic said with a heavy sigh as he left to get the needle and thread again. I turned to Church and just shook my head.

“You know you would be better off at the hospital right?” I said with worry evident in my voice.

“Oh... Uh... Yeah, whatever you say.... I feel sleepy.” Church said drowsily.

“Well don’t fall asleep. The doc still needs to stitch you up.” I said pinching his arm. “I will get you a E-drink alright?”

“Uh, Yeah... You do that...” Church said trying his best to stay awake. I turned to Lyra, who was still slightly pale.

“Hey Lyra? Could you give Church a small wake up shock?” I said getting up and going to the fridge.

“Is Church going to be alright?” I heard someone say from the dorm door which was wide open since the medic forgot to close it. I looked over to the owner of the voice. Other than Brony and Hank, there were a few ponies and people that crowded around. I smiled and grabbed Church’s drink before walking back over to the couch.

“Yeah. He is gonna be fine. Don’t worry.” I said trying handing Church his drink but he kept grabbing air.

“Why did.... you get so many?” Church asked as he swayed a bit. I shook my head and placed the drink in his hand and opened it.

“There. Alright now everyone shoo! Shoo!” I said waving my arms at the people and ponies at the door. “Man needs his rest.”

They all grumbled and reluctantly, some even told him to get better before they left. The medic walked back in with a small kit. “Alright now Mr. Alpha. This is going to hurt a bit, but this should help.”

He pulled out a small syringe and gave Church a shot before removing the bandages and stitching up the wounds one at a time. Church though had fallen asleep from the sedative he had gotten.

“Hey doc, do me a favor and take Church to the hospital anyways... Just remember to restrain him or sedate him.” I said with concern in my voice. The medic nodded and smiled before finishing up. “Here let me help take him to the car or carriage or whatever you guys are using for transport. He got to have someone to wake up to so he doesn’t freak out.”

I remember that Luna was still here and I had to leave a note or something, so she wouldn’t worry. I got up and wrote a note with a pen (Irony.) and slipped it under the door to Church’s room door. Then I walked over and picked up Church. Sadly due to him being asleep I had to carry him. I propped him up on my back and the medic helped me out when he was starting to slip off.

‘Awkward.’ was my only thought as I carried him down the stairs to the car- ‘Thank god.’- in the parking lot outside. After I slipped Church in I hopped into the back with him and the medic.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

(Church’s P.O.V.)

(3 days later)

‘Where am I?’ was one of the first things that came to mind when i was waking up from my much needed sleep.

‘If I recall this correctly.... I got hit in the face by something, then a lot of bleeding, then falling asleep? Now I’m waking up... But I had such a good dream!’ I thought to myself as I opened my eyes, or well tried to open both eyes. But my left eye were stuck and I could not open it. I had a slight panic in my head until realized that that the left half of my face were still bandaged.

As I slowly opened my right eye, to see an unfamiliar ceiling... As my eye were still adjusting to the light after opening it the first time on three days, everything was blurry I could not see 10 feet in front of me because then everything looked like colorful blob or well at least thats what I thought since I could not see anyone or anything except that roof which were a bit more white than usual.

I also started hearing a rhythmic beeping. Something like one of those heart monitor thingies they have at those creepy hospitals... Ugh I hate those places, I turned my head to my right to see flowers, a brand new laptop, and a lot of other gifts ‘What the fuck is this shit? My birthday early?’ I thought as I turned my head to the left and saw....

Is that a heart monitoring machine? and a I.V.? Oh … God, I’m in a hospital aren’t I?
All of a sudden the heart monitoring machine started to make more beeping and in a faster rate.
I tried to move my right arm, but found it restrained to the bed. I did the same with my left only to see that it was restrained too.

“Oh fuck... Oh fuck, how did I get here!?” I said out loud panicking a bit and trying to get out of my restraints.

Soon a doctor and a few nurses rushed in. The doctor was carrying a syringe in his hand. Two of the nurses began to hold me down while the other put the syringe needle into the I.V.

“DON’T YOU FUCKING INJECT ME WITH ANYTHING!” I yelled at the doctor “I SWEAR I WILL FUCKING STAB YOU!”

Without a second lost, he pushed down on the plunger and emptied the syringe into the I.V.

“OH YOU JUST Made a big-” Why do I feel sleepy all of a sudden. “God damn you doc” I said a bit more calm than before.

“It’s just a sedative. It will help you sleep.” The doc said patting my shoulder.

“Oh great, more sleep.” I mumbled as I was starting to drift off to sleep.

“You sure that was necessary?” I heard someone ask

“Well he did panic, so it was either that or let him give himself a heart attack.” The doctor answered.

“Fuck you doc.” I said quietly before falling asleep.

I soon woke up again only more groggy than before.

“Hey! I think he is waking up!” I heard someone said from across the room

“Alright which one of you wants to get stabbed this time? I swear some people won’t leave me alone.” I said trying to be threatening

“Well I guess if you stab me it will make up for what I did.”

“Oh its just you Slayer.... But why do I feel someone on my left side?” I said still not having opened my right eye completely....

“Well...Hey! Why don’t you take a guess?” Slayer said with a quiet snicker.

“Ugh.” I groaned as I moved my head to the left to actually see something and the person or pony on my left side who will be getting sta- … You gotta be kidding me.

Off all the ponies.... It had to be... Princess Celestia.... Again.

“What the actual fuck?” I said a bit suprised.

“I said guess...But that works too!” Slayer said. I heard a few steps being taken and then they stopped next to the bed. “Never left your side after Luna told her what happened. Also gave me a hell of a sunburn on my arm.” Slayer said as he showed me his arm.

“Ha... Im to newly awake to make smart remarks.” I said as I looked around the room and saw that Brony, Hank, Luna and Lyra was sitting in the room too.

“Oh Slayer... Do you know why there is a fucking crowd in my room?” I asked groggily

“Well did you honestly expect to get put in the hospital and not have your friends visit you?” Slayer said chuckling.

‘Did he just say hospital?’ I thought.

“Did you just say hospital?” I asked. He stopped chuckling and looked to Hank and Brony before nodding. They got up and began to hold me down.

“Okay before you freak the fuck out, we had to or else you would have gone into a fucking coma, so for god sake DON’T FREAK OUT.” Slayer said holding down my right arm.

“I’M GOI- Ahh fuck it. I’m too tired for this shit.” I said yawning. Everyone looked to each other before slowly getting off and taking a few steps back.

“But that does not mean that I won’t stab everyone here.” I said coldly afterwards. Slayer shrugged while everyone, Other than Celly, took a step back.

“By the way. Church? Don’t you have something to say to our friend here?” Slayer said gesturing to Celly.

‘What is he talking about? Chickens?’’ I thought making my stomach growl a bit.

“Uh.... No?” I asked

Slayer frowned for a moment before snapping his fingers and pulling out his phone. He clicked a few buttons on it before plugging in his headphones and holding out one. “Here. This will help jog your memory.”

“Uh Slayer, what are you doing?” I asked him looking at the earbud.

“Just trust me.” he said putting the ear bud in my ear. “Now listen carefully.”

He hit play before my voice vocalized. “Alright fine, I, Lenoard Alpha, have a crush on Celestia.”

“Oh right! Wait.... Where the fuck did you get that?” I asked a bit confused.

“Remember a few days ago? When Luna came over? I recorded it.” He said smiling evily. “I always have a back up plan.”

“You are a tactical asshole.” I said a bit pissed that I did not see that coming “Oh and uh.... how long was I out?”

“Ooooh-” He looked at his watch. “- Three and a half days.”

“THR- wait a half? What?” I said confused. ‘Does this guy count days or what?’

“I counted.” He said sheepishly. “What? I got bored.”

“Called it.” I said out loud. “Anyhow.... THREE DAYS?!”

“That’s not important. Now...I will ask again. Don’t you have something to say to our friend?” He said gesturing to Celly again. I sighed and looked at Celly who now was awake and looking at me with a warm smile.

‘That smile makes my heart melt.... I think it really is melting.’ I thought.

“Uh Celly... I mean Celestia.” I started extremely nervous.

“And he said he had no trouble talking to women.” Slayer quietly muttered with his arms crossed.

“Well I’m fucking tied up, try that with Luna and we will see whos laughing.” I snapped at him and looking at him with my right eye. Slayer remained quiet after that and was just smirking.

“Aright... This is so unfair... At least Slayer wasn't restrained to a bed.” I said heavily sighing.

“Look Celestia... How should i put this..... Uh.... Um...” I said trying to figure something out.

“Want me to evacuate the room?” Slayer said trying to take pity on me.

“I love you Celestia.” I said as I looked in her light purple eyes and got lost in them after a few seconds I looked at Slayer and said “See I’ve got more balls than you do”

“Yeah and all it took was being tied to a bed.” He said still smirking.

“You smart ass.” I said with a sigh “So now what?”

“Why don’t you ask her?” Slayer said pointing to Celly.

“Again with the smart ass remark.” I said shaking my head a little I then looked at Celly again who looked as beautiful as the sun when its going down the horizon.

“I try my best.” He said with his smart ass smirk still present.

I kept looking at Celly who, somehow kept growing more beautiful the more you looked at her.
“So what happens now?” I asked no one in particular

“Well....Let’s see.” Slayer began to mouth things while counting on his fingers. “...All that is left is what Celestia has to say.”

“Right.... By the way... How long will I be stuck here?” I asked out of curiosity and looking at Slayer.

“Three more days.” Slayer answered. “At least that what the doc says.”

“So …. I-I’m stuck here for another three days? I-In this hell hole? I must be insane...” I said slowly losing my mind.

“Ugh now I have to do this...” Slayer walks up to me and gently grabs my head. He slowly turns my head until I am looking at Celly again. “She...Is why you are going to stay here. She stood by your bedside for the past two days. Without sleep. SHE is the reason you’re going to stay here and get better. Got it?”

I remained quiet and dumbstruck by Slayers little speech and since I had nothing better to do I decided to do this, smile like an idiot and reply

“That was so fucking cheesy.”

“You ruined the moment, ya jerk. If you weren’t bed ridden and Celestia wasn’t here, I would smack you.” Slayer said letting go and giving a small push. “But did you atleast get the gist of what I am trying to say?”

“Yeah. But I really can’t believe how cheesy that was!” I replied with a huge grin.
huh?
“I am going to cut the tube to your painkillers while you sleep tonight.” He said chuckling. “Say... Celestia? You have been pretty quiet you okay?”

“....”

“Tia?”

“Huh? Wha?” She said looking from me to Slayer. “I am sorry I was a mile away. What did you say?”

“I said.... Are you okay? With this whole thing.” Slayer said. Celestia looked from Slayer back to me and looked away blushing.

“W-well...”

“Alright I make it easy...” Slayer said. He walked around the bed to Tia and began to whisper something in her ear.

“Hey what the fuck are you guys scheming?!” I said being a bit scared.

Tia’s blush became worse as Slayer finished. He was smiling with what I could only describe as ‘Evilly mischievous’. He walked back to his place on the other side of the bed still smiling that same smile.

I looked at Celly then Slayer then back to Celly.

“What have you done Slayer? I swear if you two are going to-MMPH.” I got interrupted by Celly’s soft lips meeting mine and of course I was taken by surprise. It took a while before we broke the kiss. Maybe like two minutes.... I could see that Lyra and Luna was jealous.

“Do you like what we were ‘scheming’?” Slayer asked.

“Uh... Yes, definitely.” I replied a bit dumbstruck.

“Well looks like we might want to leave these two alone for awhile.” Slayer said gesturing to everyone in the room.

“Oh... Ha ha, revenge for yesterday?” I replied looking at Slayer.

“What revenge?” He said looking confused before everyone walked out. “I am just trying to help you out.” He gave one more evil smile and left. Then he walked back in and said. “By the way... Tia. Those restraint can hold an elephant down. So...Carry on.”

Then walked out and closed the door leaving me and Celly alone in the room.
'This can only end so well...' I thought

“So what happens now?” I nervously asked Celestia.

“Oh you know....” Celly said as she climbed on top of the bed. “We have some fun” Celly said with a huge grin as she laid herself on top of me and started kissing me deeply and of course I kissed back.

(~~~~~~~~~~~~~/)

(Slayer’s P.O.V.)

As I closed the door, I heard a very distinct creak of a bed. I shook my and smiled. “He has it in him....Or how ever that expression goes.”

I was happy that I hadn’t put Church into a coma with that shoe and was REALLY relieved that I hadn’t hurt him too bad. ‘Tia would have fried my ass if I had done worse.’ I thought with a shudder. I then heard Brony and Hank talking.

“Can you believe that hes awake after three whole days? I seriously thought it would take longer.” Brony said.

“Yeah... The doctor’s didn’t really give much hope.” Hank said. I groaned and just walked past them. I still felt terrible for everything and didn’t want to listen to that crap anymore. I must have sparked someone attention because I heard someone call after me as I left the hospital.

As I walked out, I noticed that it was just past the afternoon. I shook my head and put my hands in my pockets before walking away. “I am such an idiot.” I said.

As I rounded a corner I saw a journalist. ‘Aww crap not this again’ I thought to myself as turned around and tried to walk away before they spotted me. But as fate has it they saw me and were now in hot pursuit. I began to go into a full on run with the pony reporter closely following me. I ran around the corner before ducking into a small crowd of people. ‘Heh heh...The old assassain’s creed move.’ I thought as I moved with the group.

The pony looked at the group before running in the direction he was following me before I ‘vanished’. As he ran I got out of the group and ran in the opposite direction. After about fifteen minutes off running I finally stopped at a tree and slumped against it. I closed my eyes and leaned back with a sigh as I was finally able to relax. As I almost calmed down someone or pony said something

“So this is where you went.” a familiar voice said. My eyes shot open to see Lyra and Luna was walking behind her in the, as church called it, ridiculous costume I help her make. She was just a bit smaller and had a baby blue mane instead of her galaxy mane that she usually had. My old gunmetal grey hoodie carefully covering her wings.

“Oh thank god it’s just you guys.” I said slightly huffing. They looked to me with some concern as I got up.

“Sorry. It’s just those fucking reporters.” I said with some venom seeping into my voice. “They just don’t leave me alone!! It’s really starting to piss me off!!”

“Oh don’t be like that...” Lyra said with even more concern “It’s like the time Church got so pissed of that he climbed on top of the school and sat there listening to music completely carefree of everything.”

“Yeah...But he didn’t have to dodge everyone in order to avoid a bunch of reporters with cameras and recorders. Seriously the next one I see I might just throw him in the dumpster!!”

“Slayer please calm down.” Luna said abit scared.

“Sorry sorry...It’s just I feel awful about what I did and they are just showing it to everyone and rubbing it in my face....I am just stress out right now and would really like them to leave me alone.” I said slumping against the tree again and putting my face into my hands.

“Well.... At least it wans’t like the time Church was depressed. That day was just horrible.”

“Yeah... I didn’t know you could turn an empty energy drink can into a flashbang.” I said looking up.

“I’ve been meaning to ask... Does anyone know that guy who had a black jacket with a tie and a blue trim that glowed softly? He left a laptop for Church.” Lyra asked.

I chuckled and sighed. “That’s Matt if I remember correctly. Just one of his friends.”

“Well then Church has some expensive friends.... He rolled into town with a black and blue limo.” Lyra said with a hint of jealousy.

I laughed out loud and looked to Lyra. “Was the driver a guy wearing a hoodie with the same color scheme and wearing large aviator glasses?”

“Yeah I think so...” she answered.

“That’s probably how he found out. That guy is Bruce. First time I met that guy I, he took me and Church power-skidding down to the roads home.” I said chuckling. “I think he owns a club or something..... Hey thanks you two... I needed this.”

I got up and hugged Lyra before hugging Luna and then gave her a kiss. Then we walked back to the hospital’s parking lot and grabbed the taxi that we took here. “I really need to get a car.” I said groaning as we all had to squeeze in.

The ride home was short and simple. I had slept most of the way and didn’t dream at all. I was really feeling like shit and honestly didn’t feel like doing much of anything. The few days without Church were like a literal hell. Usually he was there to help make the day seem like one big joke, but without his antics everyone just glared at me and said some pretty nasty thing behind my back.

My teachers didn’t even act the same. Mrs.Fluttershy was scared shitless when ever I entered her class and never took her eyes off me while she taught. Mrs.Twilight was always keeping one eye to make she I wasn’t getting into trouble, but thankfully Mrs.Rarity didn’t say anything. Hell, she didn’t even look at me. Lyra tried to help ease all the room and tell them it was a accident, but it was school. once something starts you can’t end it.

We got to the dorms and I walked into the dorms without another word spoken. I got to my dorm, which I helped with cleaning since Church was...Ahem...Incapacitated. I walked in and just layed down on the couch not really wanting to do anything else. I was worried plain and simple. I had told my family what happened and they tried to console me, but nothing really worked. Luna was the biggest help so far. Ever since that accident, she is over whenever she can be.

What really pisses me off is how the news somehow got to the castle and now I have to have a escort wherever I go in that place.

I let out a sigh and buried my head into the cushions before I felt Luna sit on the couch with me.

“Thou must really stop moping. It wasn’t thine’s fault. Did Church ever explain why he had cleats on his table?” Luna asked. I sighed and brought my head up for a moment.

“No, I found the box they were in. And a Card with something written on it... But I never read it. We could go over and check who it was for.” I said getting up slightly. Luna smiled as I stopped moping and got up. We walked over and opened up Church’s dorm before walking and looking around. I saw the box on the table and walked over. I found the card and picked it up.

It read:

“Michael buddy,

I heard that you’re brother recently passed away, and I’m truly sorry for that. I know the bond you and your brother had. I saw once that you had a few trophies from winning soccer championships and you should know that your brother was always proud of you for doing your best at those tournaments even though you and I never really got along all that well. I always wished the best for you.

You have my condolences,
Signed by Lenoard Alpha.”

“Well that doesn’t make me feel any better.” I said as I read the card. “I just hospitalized my friend with a gift for someone who lost his brother. That REALLY didn’t help me out any...”

I just sighed and carefully placed the things back in place and walked around Church’s dorm for a little bit. I just noticed certain pictures on the walls and saw his studio was still in place for that song he was making. ‘Look at me.... I am walking around and thinking like he is dead or something. I really have hit rock bottom.’

I walked into the kitchen and saw a picture frame of a child Church, a woman and another guy
I presumed that it was him and his parents. As I picked up the picture to see if it really was Church in the picture and I noticed that a piece of paper was sticking out behind the picture and it was neatly folded. I looked at the paper and then the picture. I slowly and carefully took the paper out and unfolded it. It had something written on it

“Hello hello...” I said as I looked it over.

It read:

“Dear mom,

I did not know you all that well before you disappeared from my life. In fact I’m pretty sure that I never had my first memory with you around. You always were a mysterious woman, as dad always said. He would always rant about some woman named Alison over and over and I would not have a single clue who that was. I’ve always missed you, even though I never knew you on a personal level and god... I miss you so much, when I heard you were dead I did not know what to do nor did dad. We both were devastated. I just wish I had the chance to meet you before you died. I’ll never forget you and I’ll always love you.

Your son
Lenoard Alpha.”

I leaned against the counter with the note loosely held in my hands. I shakily folded it back up and placed it back into the picture before walking into the living room. I slowly sat down while Luna and Lyra were still investigating the place. I looked around before not even trying anymore. I cried....I bawled. I weeped. Hell, I would go as far to say I was a mess. Luna had darted over to me almost as soon as it happened.

I didn’t even try to stop myself. I just hugged Luna and bawled into her fur like there was no tomorrow. I was more or less a emotional wreck now. Luna was gently hugging me back and cooing in order to calm me down.

I haven’t cried like this since...Well ever. yeah I cried when I was young, but never to this extent. After about ten minutes of just continuous sobs and wails of sorrow I was just nothing more than a hollow shell. I wasn’t even responding to the world now. I was just a broken guy, whimpering into his marefriend’s chest while she cradled him.

I heard Lyra talking to Luna when I finally calmed down and began to rest. “Is he going to be okay?”

“Maybe. Whatever he saw really set him off. we have never seen a person or pony cry like this.” She said patting my back. I was ready to just let the world slip away and crash against the ground.

“What are we going to do?” Lyra asked sounding really concerned.

“Not much we can do. We can only hope and wait.” Luna said while I nuzzled into her. I was too tired to even care anymore. I just wanted to sleep. So without anymore things keeping me awake I let myself just slip into the darkness.

Author's Note

A/N: Hey everyone. Slayerbro here with alpha. Sorry about the blows to the feels, but every story needs a dramatic moment no?

The Alpha: Sometimes, I just manipulated the Atmosphere of the chapter to my advantage and made a feels chapter

Well we are sorry if anyone cried, but it needed to be done. Every character needs to eventually get knocked down a notch.

The Alpha: And besides, It was a great time to discover a dark secret about Church. Plus I kinda count this as a character development.

That too. I know that we hadn’t exactly focused on the characters, but you know. There is a time for everything. So now we know that Slayer is an emotional, over caring guy while Church is-

The Alpha: He’s someone who deep down is heartbroken, but knows very well how to hide it.

Yeah. So to wrap things up. Sorry for any hurt feels. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

The Alpha: If it makes you feel any better I had tears in my eyes when I wrote those segments.

Yeah me too. So this is for everyone who is crying or just wants it...*Hug*

The Alpha: *Hug*

Oh yeah and guys?

OVER 12K WORDS MOTHER B**KERS!!!!!!!!