Madness

Prologue: The Seeds of Madness

“I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.” ~Khalil Gibran

I violated the trust of those I depended on the most for my sanity. They were the only ones who truly understood me. The only ponies who cared, and they couldn’t foresee my descent into madness. Not even Pinkie, with her ability to sense future events.

They never understood you. You were always the weak one, the pony who, as we seem to remember the blue one putting it, was “scared of her own shadow.” They never wanted you around, always plotting to rid themselves of you. We took you in and showed you your true power. Your ferocity was unstoppable when unleashed; all it needed was guidance and control.

But…what if I never wanted to use it? What if I was happy living the way I did? I had friends, ponies who loved me, and one that I loved back. Why did I let them go? Why did I let her go? None of this should have ever happened!! I never wanted this!

Calm down, dear. We are your family remember? We love you and only want the best life for you. That was always our intention, and we have delivered. We gave you a world without anypony to torture you for being different, for being you. Just think of what life was before we sheltered you: was it not more difficult than now? Were you not fearful of everything and everypony around you?

No…I had the animals. They—

And that rabbit walked all over you. Your precious animals were worse than your so-called friends; they were able to torment you all day and all night. They never respected you, and we showed you that. We showed you the way of those around you, how they used you. You listened to reason, and asserted yourself: now look! You have nothing to fear!!

That’s because there’s nothing left to fear…it’s all gone. Everything I ever thought was beautiful, everypony I ever loved, all gone.

And is this world not better, dear? Do you not feel free of your demons now?

I suppose…it is nice to not have anypony laughing at me for once.

There, there. Everything will be just fine. You simply need to forget the past and look to the future. Look to tomorrow, and see a beautiful world we will help you to create!

Fluttershy looked up and saw a broken world. Ponyville’s main road was coated with blood. The library at the end of the street was burning, as it had for weeks now. She felt a tugging at her stomach; a groaning in her head tried to make her feel four things at once.

She felt sad for bringing this fate to Ponyville; why did so many have to die? She felt angry with herself for allowing this to happen; could this have been prevented? She felt envious of the dead; why had they died while she was forced to live? But above all, she was proud: proud that she had listened to her instincts and let her pent-up rage out at long last. She was proud because she has been assertive and stuck to her path, even when faced with the prospect of ending a life. She felt alive in those times, when she had made the other feel how they had made her feel: terrified.

Fluttershy would never forget those faces. The look of fear in their eyes was exhilarating for her: they had finally felt her pain in the end. They knew her past, and what it had done to her…what they had done to her.

Discord showed Fluttershy a reality she had hidden from for years: her friends thought her helpless, and they routinely exploited that trait. If anything, she was grateful for this revelation. It helped her realize who she really was and learn to control it. She found her inner flame, tending to it for years before finally allowing it to engulf her completely. It happened that this release had coincided with the fifth anniversary of Discord’s defeat at the hooves of the Elements of Harmony.

Pinkie Pie had thrown her an early birthday party at the library…four months before her actual birthday. It had been a fun little get-together, but had ended in tears, with Twilight nearly killing Rainbow Dash. When Applejack had tried to intervene, Twilight shot a beam of magic from her horn, blasting the orange pony into the street and snapping several of her bones in the process. All the while, Fluttershy had cowered in the corner while the voices in her head comforted her, as they always had.

At some point, something in her mind snapped. Why was everypony fighting like this? It was hard to believe how dark the world suddenly became. The only color Fluttershy could clearly see was red. For some reason, she wanted the fighting to stop badly enough to kill…which she did. In one swift motion, she crossed the room. She felt Twilight’s neck crack as her head was suddenly jerked 90° to the left. She saw her hooves retract from Twilight’s body as it slumped to the floor, eyes still open in shock. She saw this look mirrored on every face in the room as the others stood motionless, speechless.

She felt alive for the first time in her life.

Fluttershy opened her eyes once more. She could still hear their screams as they ran away from the library that afternoon. She could feel the chill that ran down her spine as she remembered seeing Twilight’s life-less body on the ground. But above all, she remembered not caring that she had just killed somepony. On the contrary, she had been exhilarated, as if this murder affirmed, to her at least, that she was not helpless as everypony else thought her to be. But the longer she stared at the body, the longer she listened to the cries of terror, the more it sunk in: she had killed Twilight Sparkle.

The one pony the others could always depend on to keep them on task and levelheaded. The one mare they could talk to with any problem without fear of it escaping her lips. Fluttershy had just killed the brightest of them all, the gentlest and most genuine pony she had ever met.

Had it really happened that fast? Was this really how this all started? She wandered the road leading up the charred remains of the library and stepped over what was once the door.

“I-I wish I could…t-take it all back,” Fluttershy said between sobs. “I wish I could h-have all of you with me again…”

She found a sturdy beam and tied to it to the rope she had brought with her. She put the rope around her neck and clamped her wings shut.

She woke up in bed, gasping for air.

Author's Note: Hey, everybody! I know, crazy to try for two fics at the same time, but I got this idea in my head and couldn't resist the urge!! I know this chapter went by real fast and skips over a lot, but I promise that this will be explained in detail. It will also likely be the shortest chapter. Enjoy and as always, leave feedback!!!!