"This is the best! The BEST!" you say as you take a step back to admire your SPOOK-TACULAR Nightmare Night costume.
"It's... it's okay, I guess?" your friend says unsurely. "It's... What is it, anyway?"
You laugh derisively at him. "Ahaha. Wow. What kind of loser can't recognize a perfect Changeling costume?" You take another approving look at your expertly-made Nightmare Night costume. It's meant to look like a Changeling!
"Oh. Which Changeling?" your friend asks.
"I dunno?" you reply. "Just... a Changeling. Any."
"Okay... why a Changeling? They aren't scary," he replies.
"Yeah, they are!" you say defensively. "They totally nearly almost kind of wiped out Canterlot!"
"Yeah, but then Celestia made an alliance with Queen Chrysalis, remember? So they're not scary at all. In fact... your costume seems kinda racist," your friend says.
"It's not racist!" you snap. "It's just a Changeling!"
"Okay, and you wouldn't be even a little upset if Changelings wore costumes of Ponies for their version of Nightmare Night?" he replies.
You decide to give up on your total pleb of a friend and instead don your horrifying, evil, menacing, perfectly-made Changeling costume! Truly, you are a sight to behold.
"Aren't you kind of old for Trick or Treating anyway?" your friend asks.
"I'm not Trick or Treating," you reply. "I'm gonna give this candy out to any foals I see," you say, gesturing to a bucket full of all types of candy.
"Oh... seems kinda creepy," he says.
"What? How?" you reply. "I just want the foals to have a really great Nightmare Night like the ones I had as a kid. Remember when we used to Trick or Treat together? Remember the fun we had?"
"Uhh... I remember a guard dog attacking you at that one house. And that weird old lady inviting you inside at that other house, and you refusing to talk about it for weeks," your friend says.
"Shut up," you reply quickly. "I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about the fun times!"
"Like when you got a bag full of rocks that one time?" he says.
"Good grief," you reply.
"Or what about that time you didn't check the apples for razor blades, and ended up in hospital for about thre-"
You cut your friend off. "Whatever, man! I don't care if my childhood sucked! It doesn't mean the foals out there tonight can't have a great time!"
With that, you decide to leave your pessimistic excuse for a friend behind as you trot out into the night, armed with only your definitely-not-racist Changeling costume and bucket full of candy.
As you head out into the Nightmare Night celebrations, you see a short, chubby colt that you recognize vaguely from Cheerilee's local school. You're pretty sure his name is Truffle Shuffle.
"Hey, kid!" you say.
He stares at you for a moment. "Uh... what's your costume meant to be?" he says.
"It's... it's a Changeling. Look, it's obviously a Changeling," you say as you grab some of the cheap material to show him.
"Uhhh... doesn't look like a Changeling," he replies bluntly.
"Now listen to me, you fat littl-" you're about to rage at him, but manage to stop yourself. He's just a kid, after all. Obviously a kid won't be able to appreciate the superb craftsmanship that went into your perfect costume.
"Here you go, kid!" you say as you hand him some Gummi Worms.
"Oh, cool!" he says. "Thanks!"
"Ah, no problem kid," you say heroically. You're about to start scouting for any other nearby kids when a hoof strikes your face. You grab your face and turn to see an enraged older mare.
"What in Tartarus do you think you're doing?!" she screams.
"I... I..." you begin, but you can't think of anything to say. You don't even know what's going on here.
"You're giving my son candy?! Some sort of joke, is it? Some sort of fat joke?!" she says.
"No, far from it!" you protest. "I'm giving candy out to everyone, not just him!"
"Oh, and I suppose he gets double what everyone else gets?! Because he's fat, right?!" the furious mare continues.
"Listen, I'm sorry, I just... I didn't give him any more than anyone else... I just..." you stammer helplessly.
The mare grabs up all the Gummi Worms and throws them at you. "Bigots like you need to just stay away from everyone! They should lock you up!" she says as she drags her son away with her.
Well, the night's off to a flying start.
You see a little pink filly walking alongside a silver one of the same age. You recognize them as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
"Hey, girls!" you say as you bounce happily towards them.
They both stare at you for a moment. You feel uneasy.
"What in Celestia's sweet Equestria are you WEARING?" Diamond says.
"Ah," you say, reasoning that she must want to know where she too could get such a prime costume, "I made this one myself. Pretty scary, huh?"
"It's... it's terrible! What's it even meant to be?" she says.
"...It's a Changeling, obviously," you say, gritting your teeth.
Silver Spoon bursts out laughing. "It's, like, awful! How long did it take you to make that?"
Your eye twitches, but you remain as calm as possible. "So... you girls want some candy? I've got Gummi Worms!" you say.
"Why would we want to even touch something that you give us, let alone EAT it?" Diamond asks.
Your eye twitches again. "Alright, fine! If you're gonna be a pair of total jerks, then forget it! I won't give you any candy!"
"Good!" Diamond replies. You walk off in a huff.
As you turn the corner, you find yourself face to face with 3 angry looking, bodybuilder stallions.
"So," one of them says in a deep, gruff, intimidating voice, "you don't wanna give candy out to the kids, huh?!"
"Wait, I-" you begin. You're cut off when his hoof strikes your face, and then his friends descend on you.
Your spirits aren't quite dampened yet! The Changeling costume managed to soak up most of the blood from the beating, and you've got an ice pack over your eye, so it's all good!
You trot on down the street, and walk past Mayor Mare giving a speech to some ponies in awesome costumes.
You see a small group of fillies gathered in a garden, trading Nightmare Night candy with each other.
With a smile, you decide to go over and make their night! With Gummi Worms!
"Hey, girls!" you yell from across the street. They all look up at you.
"Want some free candy?" you yell.
At once, terror fills their eyes and they all scream in unison before running away as fast as they can.
"Man, what was that about?" you think to yourself. "This town is so weird. Offer people candy, and they freak out."
You notice a little colt with 2 of his friends stood in the street comparing each other's costumes.
"Hey, any of you kids want some free candy?" you yell at them. "Just come a little closer!"
Similar to the group of fillies, the 3 colts scream and run away as fast as they can.
Something seriously weird is going on in this town. Whoever heard of kids running away at the offer of free candy?
"Whatever," you mumble quietly to yourself. "If nobody else wants this candy, I guess I'll have some."
You're about to dip your hoof into the bucket of Gummi Worms and take out a red one (because they're objectively the best) when all the air is knocked out of your lungs as you're tackled to the floor.
"What the hell?!" you cry.
The stallion who tackled you growls in rage. "So, you're one of these creeps who 'gives candy' out to little kids on Nightmare Night, huh? I suppose you've got a creepy van somewhere around here too?" he snarls.
"Wait, what? What are you talking about? I don't even have a driver's licence yet!" you reply.
"HEY, EVERYONE!" the stallion crushing you yells. "WE GOT A CREEP OVER HERE! HE WAS TRYING TO GET THE KIDS TO TAKE CANDY FROM HIM!"
A massive mob of angry people suddenly develops before your eyes and closes in on you.
"I don't get it?!" you cry as they move in on you. "Do you all really hate Gummi Worms that much?"
Suddenly, the cogs inside your brain start turning.
Candy?
Vans?
Nightmare Night?
Kids?
"Oh, GOD!" you scream, suddenly realizing the misunderstanding you've gotten yourself into. "Listen, please listen, you guys have it all wrong! I'm just trying to give my candy out to your kids!" you cry.
The mob collectively screams in anger and begin moving towards you faster, some of them now wielding pitchforks and torches that seemingly came out of nowhere.
With a heroic burst of strength, you burst out of the stallion's grip and charge away from the mob as fast as you can! You bolt down the main street of Ponyville. You've gotten away!
Or at least, you think you have before a cop leaps out. "STOP!" he screams. You skid to a halt.
"Listen, officer, this is a misunderst-" you begin. He speaks over you.
"Just WHAT exactly is that costume?" he asks.
"Ah," you say smugly, "this is my homemade Changeling costume. Pretty scary, huh?"
He glares at you. "Do you know how RACIST THAT IS?!" he screams.
"Wait, what?" you reply. "Seriously, it's not racist!"
"You know what?" the officer says. "I'm taking you downtown for the night. The pony-changeling alliance is strained as it is, we don't need some crazy racist like you walking around stirring things up."
"I'm not racist!" you whine helplessly as he closes the hoof-cuffs around you.
Celestia's sun rises over the green fields of Equestria. Morning at last.
After a crazy night in jail involving a mix up (you were accidentally assigned to death row and scheduled to be executed. Twice.), a pretty crazy cellmate (you'd rather not think about that anymore) and something of a misunderstanding involving one of the most powerful crimelords on the entire continent, you're free from jail.
You step out of the jailhouse and into the street. Okay, maybe Nightmare Night was kind of a failure. But, you think you've learned something today. You've lear-
"THERE HE IS! GET HIM!"
The angry mob from last night suddenly round the corner and spot you, raising their torches and pitchforks once again.
"Oh, for the love of-"
You sprint away as fast as you can, the mob close behind you.
While you're running in terror, you get a crazy idea.
"Hey! Hearth's Warming Eve is coming up kinda soon! I could be a mall Santa!"
