South Equestria

by Rainbow Tech

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 3733

This is what happens when Equestria combines with South Park. Crazy, eh?

This is what happens when Equestria combines with South Park. Crazy, eh? Well, South Park thinks killing ponies is a good solution, Cartman has become Hitler 3.0, and Rainbow Dash has a clone. Totally regular....... Right?

Oh, and by the way, this is my first fanfic, so don't expect too much.

This isn't cancelled all together. Just on FiMFiction, because these ponies here are too....Canterlot-ish. It will be on Fanfiction.net, which is more Ponyville-like.Just the way I like it.

Published 2012-11-22 09:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-22 09:00:01 UTC

Find and Protect

Last time on South Equestria: Equestria formed with South Park and the ponies and humans switched races and...... Who listens to this anyway, I mean, read the first chapter. Uhh......... on with the show!

"First, we have to find Pinkie Pie. She's always jumpy and happy so she should be easy to find. I just wish I knew what she looked like in human form." Twilight said. Out of nowhere, Cartman said "Screw you guys, i'm going home. If I could just... walk.... on.... stupid a**..... pony legs..." Twilight Sparkle responded "If you stay I'll tell you how to walk." "Fine, I'll take your stupid lessons." Cartman responded.

After the walking lessons, Stan responded "Let's get the search over with so we can become different dimensions again. What does this "Pinkie Pie" like?" Twilight responded "Cupcakes and songs." Kyle responded, "Hey, There's a new cupcake shop just near City Wok. She might be there." Cartman responded "I'm not walking all the way to a crappy-a** cupcake shop to not get food and instead only to find some dumb My Little Pony." Twilight responded "Yes you will! You've been too offensive throughout the WHOLE time . Besides, you're fat enough." "I'm not FAT, I'm big boned!" Cartman responded. Twilight Sparkle responded "Whatever."

4 and 1/4 miles later

"There's City Wok. just two buildings down." Said Kyle. Then Twilight Sparkle said "There she is. She's singing one of her songs." Said Twilight

Pinkie Pie sang "What happened to the money system? I don't want no funny business,The cupcakes seem delicious, But what are dollars? what are cents? With me, that's really won't pend!"

Kenny's response was "MHHMHHMMHMAHMAMAHMAH!" (Kenny Translator: "Pinkie Pie's singing is so f***ing annoying!")

Twilight Sparkle then said "Pinkie Pie! I thought you might have been dead!" "Cartman responded Can I go home NOW?" Twilight responded "NO! When we find all of my friends, You can go home!" Pinkie Pie out of nowhere said "Why do you look different?" Twilight responded "You look different, too."Twilight Sparkle and Stan simultaneously said "Let us explain." Twilight then said "You see, Somthing screwed up while creating an alternate universe portal." Stan said "Our universes combined, and we all switched races with each other. Now, we're trying to get everything back to normal."

Twilight then said "Look, There's Rarity right out there!" Kyle shouted "She's being SHOT!" Pinkie Pie responded "This isn't good, right?" Stan out of nowhere said "Aw, f***, here comes my dad." Stan's dad, Steve Marsh yelled "It's OK! The curse will be broken when i kill all with human bodies!" Stan responded "NO! It's not their fault!" Steve responded "F*** reasoning!" Stan responded loudly "DAD! It was human science's fault! Now put down the gun!" Steve calmed down and said "Ok, but next time, I want you to be supportive."

After Stan's dad left, Rarity felt relief and said "Thank god that mess is over. Now, why is my mane gone?" Twilight responded "Let's save that for when the rest of the ponies are found." Rarity randomly said "I hope Rainbow Dash wasn't flying...." Pinkie out of nowhere said "OOH! OOH! I know! 2 Worlds collided right? So..... Maybe Rainbow Dash is on the other side of town!"Cartman out of nowhere said "Oh look at Kyle's little Jew wings! You get wings because you're a jew, and wings are for girly fags. Twilight Sparkle responded "They're called Pegasus ponies, not Jews." "Pegasi, Jews, same thing." Cartman responded. Twilight responded "Cartman, just SHUT UP! Oh, a video message! from Applejack!" Cartman responds "Even ponies get a F***ing iPad and I don't." "Quit your wailing and listen to the message, Cartman." Twilight Sparkle responded. Applejack worriedly yelled "I need to know why all the ponies changed form-- but more importantly, Rainbow Dash was flying when this happened and she has a broken hoof."

Twilight Sparkle then said "We know where Applejack and Rainbow Dash are! Kyle, to the Pony hospital! The other humans can borrow my balloon." Kyle responded "I don't know how to fly!" Twilight told Kyle "Just wave the muscles in your wings and turn to control where you're going!" Kyle yelled "Okay!"

After the flight......

Kyle panted "Flying is WORK!" Pinkie responded "Well, no reward without work. Like making CUPCAKES!" Rarity added "Or looking for GEMS!" Kyle responded "OKAY, I get it".

After entering the 9th room of the 13th floor.....

Twilight Sparkle yelled "Rainbow Dash! Are you Okay?" Rainbow Dash responded "Yes.... just... can't move......" Applejack then said "Oh, and by the way, who are these Ponies who somehow didn't change form?" Twilight responded "They're just humans who were also switched."Applejack responded "Oh." "I hope the medical ponies are here soon." Said Rainbow Dash.

**Medics come in**

Medic 1 said "Okay, we will need to check out Rainbow Dash's insurance."

**Rainbow Dash gives Insurance Card**

Medic 2 said "I'll need to get a cast, M'kay." Kyle responded "Don't I know you?" "No, M'kay. Now, i'll need you to stay perfectly still and GET THEM, M'KAY!" responded Medic 2. Kyle then yelled until he couldn't. Kyle then said "Rainbow Dash, get on my back!" Twilight, Applejack, and Kyle started running" That made Pinkie Pie say "Why are they runni-AHH! BIG CHAINSAW!" Pinkie Pie started running. Applejack panted "Why are the humans huntin' us?" Rarity said "Because they think we're evil and wanted to be human!" Stan, Kenny, and Cartman then arrived. Stan said "We're he-" Kenny interrupted "MHR MHRMHMH!" (Kenny Translator: The others are being chased!) Stan, Kenny, and Cartman started running. Medic 2 (Who is Mr. Mackey) panted "Almost got one....."Pinkie Pie! Run faster!!!" said Twilight. Pinkie responded "I... CANT!!" Stan then said "Oh my god, they killed Pinkie Pie! Kyle then added "You bastards!" "Ah, my god. You REALLY care about a gay a** pony." responded Cartman. Twilight responded "Shut up and run, Cartman!" After more running, Kyle found a wheelchair. Kyle then said "Here Rainbow Dash, a wheelchair, Move the joystick to move." Rainbow Dash responded "Are you sure this is fast enough?" Kyle emotionally said "I know it is. Because I know you can pull through." Rainbow Dash responded "Thanks, uhh.... Kyle." "Now GO!" Yelled Kyle. After Rainbow Dash started moving, they escaped.

"Yes... We're finally out." said Cartman." Twilight cried "*sniff...* sniff..* WHY DID IT HAPPEN? WHY PINKIE PIE? SHE WAS SO-" Kyle interrupted "Don't sweat it. Whenever somebody dies here, they come back to life in their bed the next day." Twilight responded "Really?" "Only 2 people who were killed in South Park ever permanently died." said Stan. Twilight responded "Then, let's find the next one." Cartman responded "Oh, thank the LORD! Then I can go home!" Applejack decided "Now, lets hop on Kyle so we can find Fluttershy! She should be at her house." Kyle panted "Use the balloon. I'm pooped." Rainbow Dash responded "Apparently, you don't have as much energy as me. I could get there in SECONDS if I was in good health and in pony form." Cartman responded "So, your another jew pony." said Cartman. Rainbow Dash slaps Cartman. She then says "Not all pegasus ponies are Jewish, ya'know!" Cartman said "JUST F***ING HURRY UP SO I CAN GET HOME!" "Okay, just need a little touch-up." Rarity responded. Cartman responded back "TODAY, A**BITE". Rarity responded "Fine." They all got on the balloon.

Cartman said "I just noticed, WHAT IS THIS S***, WHY IS IT ON MY A**?!?" Applejack responded "That's your cutie mark. It tells something about yourself." "I don't want this s*** on my a**!" Cartman said. Twilight responded "Too bad. All ponies have it. Even guy ones. Let's see.... You have a dollar with a heart on it. You love money." Kyle said "Stan, what is mine?" "It's a.... Star of David." Stan responded. Cartman then sang "Kyle has a Jewish cutie mark because he's a Jewweww!!" Kyle responded "Shut up, Cartman. Stan, your cutie mark is.... nothing." "Stan must not know what he wants to do." Twilight suggested. Kenny barged in and said "MHRMHR! MHRHRMHRR WOO HOO! (Kenny Translator: I can see mine! It's a.... Pair of T**s! Woo-Hoo!) "So we learned a lot about you 3 today. Cartman likes money, Kenny likes whatever "T***" are, Kyle is Jewish, and Stan doesn't know what he wants to do." Applejack said. They arrived at Fluttershy's house. Twilight Sparkle screamed "A trail of..... RED CRAYON?" Stan calmly said "This is creepy." "Just follow it." Kyle said regulary. on the ground was a bomb shelter. Kyle said "It's one of those Bomb Shelters from the 60s." Stan opened it. Rainbow Dash said "Oh Fluttershy, where are you?" Fluttershy responded "Hahahaha. Nuclear war is upon us!" "I don't know where this crazy talk of nukes came from, but it's NOT TRUE."Applejack responded. Disagreeing, Fluttershy responded "Friends, hide with me as we save ourselves from the nukes. Look at all the signs, We've turned into HUMANS." Cartman randomly responded "We found the last gay-a** My Little Pony. Screw you guys, I'm goin' home. Screw you guys! "Okay, fine." Applejack responded. Getting back on the subject, Twilight responded "It's not nuclear war. It was a mistake with portals to other dimensions." "Now get out of this Bomb Shelter." Stan responded. They all get out of the bomb shelter.

"Okay. Soooo..... It wasn't nuclear war. Oh." Fluttershy said.

Ned Gerblansky randomly pops up. He says "Stand back, boys, just need to kill those with human bodies." Stan responded "NO! YOU CAN'T!!" Ned responded "Yes I can. Why can't I?" "Because they will defeat you with their magic." Stan answered. Ned responded "AHH!! MAGIC!!!"

Twilight Sparkle then said "Now that that's over, we must use the Elements of Harmony to set things back to normal." She failed. "It didn't work." She said. Rainbow Dash responded "Maybe you don't have enough magic power." Twilight responded "That's it. It will take 4-6 DAYS to recharge all of it. Sorry guys, you just have to go home and live with it." "Aww." The ponies and kids simultaniously said.

Dashie!?!?

*At Twilight Sparkle's home*

"It won't get us separated again, but we will be ponies again!" Exclaimed Twilight Sparkle. "What?" "It's a spell, but other results will happen if it isn't exact. Just need to pull through and....

** BOOOM!!**

"I'm still human! That must mean something else happened!" Spike said "This is bad, right?" "Yes! I gotta see if something bad happened!"

Meanwhile under Rainbow Dash's house.....

"There's no flying humans? NO FLYING HUMANS!?!? How can I get to my house NOW? I could jump, IF I DIDN'T HAVE 2 BROKEN HOOVES uhhh..... FEET! " Yelled Rainbow Dash." "Daddy!" Yelled a voice like Rainbow Dash." Rainbow Dash responded "Wha?" It was a clone of her. "Dadddyyyy!!!" The clone said." The clone didn't have a broken leg. She ran like hell. "I don't know how THAT happened. Maybe I'm seeing things." * Pinkie Pie comes over* "Did you see a running me clone that was screaming "Daddy?" said Rainbow Dash. "I thought that was you." Pinkie said."Well, we have to catch that clone!" Rainbow Dash responded.

*At Mr. Garrison's house*

"Huh.... Dashie. we had a d*** good 15 years together. I wish it all would happen again" Mr. Garrison said. "Daddy?" The Rainbow Dash clone said. " I can almost hear Dashie's cries of daddy. the Rainbow Dash clone responded "But the cries are real! I am your little Dashie!" Mr. Garrison said "Uh.. Wha? DASHIE!!! HOW DID YOU COME BACK!?!?!" Dashie responded "DADDY!!! As for your question, I don't know, but i did see another me. Wait, you are a PONY!" Mr. Garrison responded "And YOU are a human. But i know it's you, Dashie. I love you."

*Meanwhile with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash*

"I Think the clone went that way" said Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash responded "No, she was screaming for "Daddy" and that direction is the middle of nowhere! *Twilight Sparkle enters* Is there anything wrong going on?" Pinkie Pie responded "Nope. Just chasing a mysterious Rainbow Dash clone. Why?" Twilight responded "A spell I did wrong probably caused it. Was there anything weird about her?" Rainbow Dash said "Yes. She was yelling "Daddy! Daddy!" "I'll explain that to you, but first,we need to find this clone."

*Meanwhile with the kids of South Park*

"Oh c'mon, Token! Why does learning to live with being ponies mean learning to dunk a basketball as ponies? I mean, you are a unicorn, and magic makes it easy for you. In fact, f*** you. I'm going to go play video games." said Stan. Token responded "Playing basketball is important to keep exercised." "Nah, it's just for f***ing black people and sports fans. Screw you!" Stan responded.

On his way home, Stan thought to himself "F***. Why do I have to have no magic and no wings? I wish I could do magic, then I could see how to get South Park back to normal. If I had wings, I could at least have fun flying. I don't even have anything special about myself. I don't have one of those a**-tattoos." Kyle came over and started explaining "Flying is hard work. And from what I heard from that "Twilight Twinkle," or whatever her name is, magic is even harder. As for the a**-tattoos, they are magic, and every pony gets one. Keep in mind that you are a human and not a pony. We will get our human bodies back, and when we do, that s*** won't even matter to us anymore." "Yeah, I guess you're right." said Stan. Rainbow Dash ran into Stan. She didn't want any talk, so she just said "Did you hear a loud scream of "Daddy?"" Kyle responded "Yeah, directly into Mr. Garrison's house. right there."

They went in Mr. Garrison's house.

"I still wonder why yo- OH NO!!! NOT YOU A**HOLES AGAIN!!! YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY F**ING DAUGHTER TWICE. NO!" said Mr. Garrison. Twilight Sparkle responded "Your daughter? What? It's just a clone of Rainbow Dash." Mr. Garrison's response to that was "NO! SHE MIGHT BE A CLONED BODY, BUT SHE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING WE DID IN 15 YEARS, OR 15 DAYS IN YOUR CONVOLUTED HISTORY!" Mr. Garrison was angry, but didn't want to raise his voice at the ponies. He knew who they were, and is a brony. He still resisted his want to not raise his voice at the ponies. "I might need to explain something. You see, for 15 days, or in his history, 15 years, you were raised as his own, found in a box. This must be your mind in this alternate history, possibly a small, dormant part of your mind so, maybe, the clone is his daughter. said Twilight. Rainbow Dash responded "I don't know what this alternate universe stuff is all about, but I want the other part of my mind back. I don't want any science trouble." Twilight Sparkle said back "You should wait 3 days. We can sacrifice the clone if you feel stupid or sick." "That sounds agreeable. You shouldn't take a life AND a man's happiness away without knowing you have to." said the clone.

3 Days later......

"I Feel so....ALIVE. It feel like I could do a double sonic rainboom if I wasn't in a wheelchair." Said Rainbow Dash. I'd better report whether Mr. Garrison needs to give the clone me up...

*At Mr.Garrison's house*

"Do I get to keep her alive?" said Mr. Garrison. Rainbow Dash responded "YES! I feel GREAT without a dormant part of my brain." YES! I get to stay!" Dashie said. Rainbow Dash responded "Be warned,though. there are people out there who are out to get ponies. Be careful." "We will!" Dashie and Mr. Garrison responded.

Halloween X Nightmare Night Special: A deadly Nightmare Night and a Cancelled Halloween

Halloween X Nightmare Night Special: A deadly Nightmare Night and a Cancelled Halloween

"Aw, tonight is Halloween! Kicka**!" said Stan. Kyle responded "Too bad there are a million Ryu costumes this year. Where has the creativity gone?" Stan responded "Oh, who cares. We get free candy!" Cartman ran in with an angry look on his face. He said "Halloween has been cancelled! I heard it on the news! Instead, a big pony hunt is going on!" Kyle responded "We should tell the ponies! If they don't exist, we may NEVER be normal again! Cartman remarked "My god, you still care about those gay My Little Ponies? In fact, I'm gonna go sign up right now!" "Well, screw you, Cartman. We are going to warn them and it will end in failure".

After arriving at Twilight Sparkle's home, they burst open the door, and yelled "THERE'S A PONY HUNT, THIS HALLOWEEN OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT IN PONYVILLE." Twilight responded "Relax, I remembered Nightmare Night." Kyle then said "If that's what you are calling it, then there's a pony hunt then. They are especially targeting the youth." Twilight responded "WHAT??????? I GOTTA TELL MY FRIENDS! WHAT DO WE DO?" Stan responded "We fight back. I don't know what else to do."

After that, Twilight told everypony else. But the children wouldn't listen, nor would Pinkie Pie, so they just might be in the line of fire. Stan and Kyle told Kenny, and he freaked out.

That night, the ponies and the kids happened to be meeting at the same spot. "Twilight Sparkle? Fluttershy? Applejack? Rainbow Dash? Rarity? What are you doing here?" Said Stan. Applejack responded "What they're doin' to these here fillies ain't right. It's evil." Twilight Sparkle then said "Did you do anything to stop them?" Kenny responded "YHH! MHRMHRYMHRMHRMHRMHRMHR" (Kenny Translator: Yeah! We filled the before-party Coca-Cola cans with Beer!) "In that case, we sh-" Twilight was interrupted by Cartman's mom. "Not so fast, we didn't fall for your plans to stop us from hunting! Hey, it's the supporters! FIRE!!!!!" They started running from bullet fire, somehow surviving. Fluttershy went into a bush and the others followed. "We need a plan to stop them. Any suggestions?" Rainbow Dash responded "It's possible for Kyle to be able to control weather like I do. Try jumping on a cloud to do that." Kyle responded "OK, I'll try." Twilight Sparkle added "These costumes will make you hard to notice. Put them on." They put on the costumes. In everybody/pony's amazement, Kyle could control weather. He shot lightning bullets. He managed to wipe out all but one hunter.

It was CARTMAN! He didn't talk to anybody, he just went on the Friendship Express and left. All of them managed to get on the train. Cartman was attempting killing every pony on the train. "HAHAHA! KILL THE STUPID PONIES!" Cartman yelled. Twilight tried to use magic from her now detached horn. It hadn't worked, not before Cartman had killed every pony on the car, and he himself had been reading off all of the names of the fillies he killed and taken their candy. "Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, Dinky Hooves," He read. Nobody/pony had the energy to defeat Cartman. Untill he said the names "Pinkie Pie and Apple Bloom." Instantly, Twilight and Applejack instantly sprung to action and Twilight Sparkle instantly remarked "YOU KILL MY FRIEND?" and Applejack responded "YOU KILL MY SISTER AND YOU DIE!" They were right about to kill them and they ran out of energy. A mysterious dark figure that looked like a pony came in and scared Cartman enough to make him fall out the window.

Kyle said "Oh my god, they killed Cartman" "You...You great people." Stan responded. "But who was that mysterious figure? i'm scared..." remarked Fluttershy Rainbow Dash responded "Probably just Princess Luna." "Yeah, whoever that is." responded Stan. He then said "C'mon, lets go home, we can eat the candy that mom saved for Trick -or- Treat." Rarity said "We can't go home, the humans are guarding our homes to get scientific evidence. Kenny responded "MHMHMHR! MHMHMHMHMHMHMHR! (Kenny Translator: We can't go home either! we'd be sent to jail!) Twilight and Stan then said together "What do we do now?"

The Day Worlds Colide

It was a regular day in South Park. Just as a regular day in school goes on South Park, Stan ,Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny were waiting for the School Bus.

Stan yells "Godd*** it!" Cartman replied, "What's wrong?" Stan replied "I have to go to school even though I have this f***ing paper I didn't write." Cartman replied, "Well, That's too bad because I'm going to the site of alternate universe transportation!" "Oh yeah, the school commissioned us all a day off to see that." said Kyle. Kenny replied "MHRMHPHMHRMR? MRPH MRPH ! MR HUR!" (Kenny Translator: "We don't have school today? F*** Yes! Let's go!")

So, the 4 boys went to the site.

"We have made a scientific breakthrough today! You see, to transport to alternate worlds, you put shit and plutonium in a vagina and than take it out and that should open a portal." "Kick-a**!" replied Cartman.

Meanwhile in Equestria.....

"I've been trying ALL NIGHT at alternate universe transfer. I don't know WHAT else could work." yelled Twilight Sparkle. "I think it's impossible." Spike replied. Twilight Sparkle replied "You always say that." Right then and there, Twilight noticed an unused book. "Look! It's a book that says 130 ways of magical transportation! Let's see....Oh, here it is! Spell for alternate universe transfer!" Twilight Sparkle responded.

It made a big BOOOOOM!

Everyone fainted.

Cartman and Twilight Sparkle simultaneously say "Murrrr....... Where am I? What am I?" Then, Cartman said "Oh f***ing god! I'm a f***ing pony!" Meanwhile, Twilight was saying "I'm a HUMAN! A mythical creature!" Cartman then said "It looks like South Park-- but in that gay-a** Jew show called My Little Pony." Kyle responded "My Little Pony is a GIRL show." Cartman replied "No, it's --- Stan! Kyle! Kenny! You're all dumbf*** Ponies!" Twilight Sparkle came in to say "Hey, Ponies aren't dumb! Cartman's response to that was "And who would you be?" "I'm Twilight Sparkle. I'm a pony, but i got this human body.

Kyle then said "What? What has science done? I knew alternate universes were a bad idea." "But why is this still Ponyville, Equestria?" said Twilight. Stan shouted "I don't know what This Ponyville s*** is, but this is South Park, Colorado." "I don't know, we'll just call it..... South Equestria but I need you to go looking for my friends so we can fix this!" said Twilight Sparkle.