Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Chapters

Irreversible [EDITED]
Bad Moon (Part 1) [EDITED]
Bad Moon (Part 2) [EDITED]
Bad Moon (Part 3)
Bad Moon (Part 4)
Bad Moon (Part 5)
The Traitor (Part 1)
The Traitor (Part 2)
The Traitor (Part 3)
Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of approaching Armageddon!
The Traitor (Part 4)
Apple of Shyness (Part 1)
Apple of Shyness (Part 2)
Apple of Shyness (Part 3)
Apple of Shyness (Part 4)
Apple of Shyness (Part 5)
One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 2)
One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 3)
One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 4)
One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 5)
When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 1)
When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 2)
Order of Chaos
When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 3)
When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 4)
The Traitor (Part 5)
Audience of One
Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord
Magic
Bad Moon (Part 6)
One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 1)
An Important Announcement from the Author

Irreversible [EDITED]

Hello. If you are reading this, you are probably dead by now. There is no need to be afraid of it. Please don't panic. If you are dead, it doesn't mean you are not alive. I know it is hard to explain but you will probably undestand it as time will pass.

Time... Time is the God I worshipped... And the Devil that destroyed itself, taking me with it.

But where are my manners? My name is The Doctor. You have probably never heard of me before as my last visit to Equestria occured long before you took this book in your hooves. I am a pony of many names and characters; in fact, I'm not quite a pony. I've been an earth pony (twice), a pegasus (twice as well) and a unicorn (which was only once, and I still miss my horn). There were times when I had to live as a human... But that's in the past. Or in the future. I don't remember exactly. You must forgive me for this: several thousand years are quite a time to forget such things.

I believe you are thinking that you are insane right now. There is some truth in this: if you weren't at least a little insane, this book wouldn't have opened itself to you. I am writing this in a hurry: I have only a couple hundred years to finish this... That's ten hours in Equestria, if my dull memory serves me correct. You must have a lot of questions right now; too bad there is no one around to answer them. And, as you cannot leave this place, you have no choice but to read further. I have to apologize in advance for my writing style - I'm not too much of a writer myself - and lyrical digressions. As much as I love action and adventures, I still need to provide some explanations alongside. If you want to read about my adventures in Equestria, I'd suggest you skip this introduction and jump straight to the first chapter.

Oh, I totally forgot: you cannot read the next chapter without having finished the previous one... Heh... My invention, sorry. So, you have to sit back in a comfortable chair (press 56 on the panel on the right - the chair will appear behind you) and read my mumbling about how ponies and other species (mostly ponies, in this case) contributed to the destruction of their world - and the Universe.

***

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Irreversible

***

What are most colts and fillies taught at school? They are taught that time is irreversible. Irreversible. Not reversible, in other words. They say you can't change the order of events that occur. They say time can't flow backwards.

If you truly want to understand this book, you must forget everything you were taught at school during your foalhood. Time doesn't flow. It just is. It simply exists. The past, the present and the future are happening at the same time (pun intended; sorry, just couldn't help making a bad joke), staying apart but interfering, while trying not to interfere. They collide and collapse and fall apart. They guide your lives and are guided by me. Time is the Matter and differs from the Matter. It is the Space and fights the Space in an eternal struggle.

Have I broken your mind yet? Good. You are ready for the awful and painful truth. And do not think I do it for the sole purpose of scaring you, no. I will talk about brighter situations, but only when it is needed. The thing is, you are going to experience most bizarre things whilst reading my story. It isn't entitled 'Confessions' for nothing: I transfer my guilt to you.

Allons-y!

***

Have you ever imagined living alone? I'm not talking about your foalhood dreams: living without your family, being self-dependent, rebellious and mature etc, etc. When I say alone, I mean alone. Let's take the Moon, for example. A perfect place to experience true loneliness. Luna... That's Princess Luna for you, mind it! So, as I was saying, Luna lived there for a thousand years, with no one to talk to, with no one to share her thoughts with, with no one to turn to and cry on their shoulder... Except me, of course. But that's a story for another chapter: There is time and place for everything, as we Time Lords say. Now that you imagine living alone for a thousand years, think about how it is like to be alone for eternity. Huh? What do I mean - eternity? I mean forever, like a certain pink pony would have said... I miss her. I miss them all.

You must forgive me again: I'm losing my trail of thought once more. It's difficult to write a decent and interesting story, especially when your thoughts are jumping and colliding in your head and, what's more important, when you are telling the truth.

So, loneliness. What does it mean for a common pony? Let's take a look at how you would have acted in such a situation.

The first day.

You are surprised, amazed and even a bit happy. You set out on a journey to explore the surroundings. You are ready to see all that the Moon can show you.

A week passed.

Stones and dust. Some more stones. Some more dust. You cannot believe your eyes. Is it really all there is? Is it all this magnificent planet can show you? Alas, you are right. The Moon wasn't created to show you anything. It just exists. For no purpose. There is no purpose of anything, in fact. You see, the meaning of the Universe is...

Aaand back to the Moon! Remind me to tell you about the meaning of the Universe later, will you?

A month passed.

You are depressed. You miss your home, your parents, your friends. You hope that someday you will be able to return there. You begin mentally forgiving your enemies. Sometimes you pray to your God. Ah, too bad there is no God. In fact, there is something you would call the God, but not exactly. Erm... losing trail of thought again, right? *Sigh*...

A year passed.

You think you've come to terms with the situation by this time. You believe this is either a challenge your God put before you or a punishment for your sins. You are sure you deserved it. You will not lose your faith, for it is the only thing that keeps you sane. You think so, but you will be mistaken.

Five years passed.

And you thought you were sane, huh? After five years of praying, crying and falling on your knees, you raise you voice and shout into the lifeless sky, cursing your God and all It stands for. Then you realise what you have done. You collapse on the rocks in horror. You pledge allegiance to your God once more, you ask for forgiveness... Time and forgiveness go together, for your information. As time passes, ponies are eager to forgive - and forget. Why? I have a nice theory, albeit a little short: it happens due to fear of death. Ponies think: Oh my, what if I die without fogiving my kin and friends? And I must forgive my enemies as well, or else I'll go to Hell etc, etc. There's no such thing as Hell, mind you. I tried to make it once but failed miserably. Needed more energy and sulphur for the fusion... Ahem, anyway! Ponies don't forgive because they want to. They forgive because they need to.

Ten years passed.

Ten years on the Moon. Ten years alone. Ten years in complete silence. You don't know what to believe in anymore. You don't know what to do. You have no hope left. Your thoughts begin to crawl towards a very dangerous field: suicide. You try to shake them off. You fail again.

After trying to find a single way of painlessly killing yourself, you understand that you have no such privilege. You can't kill yourself. Interesting, right?

And now there are two possible ways your life will follow: either you turn completely insane or die of ageing.

Why did I tell you all of this just now? To show you three main points of life: it is cruel; it is pointless; it must end.

Everything must cease. Be it a blessing or a curse, death wiill always come. Unfortunately, not for me. Even being dead, I'm bound to be alive. Alive and alone.

***

But that's not the point I was trying to make. Irreversible, right? Remeber where we stopped? Good.

So time isn't irreversible. Then why can't I manipulate it, you may ask me? Good question. But I have an even better answer: because you will destoy the world. But I just want to reverse my mistakes/bring back my loved ones/return my youth etc, etc.!, you will exclaim. To your displeasure, I easily parry: Time is not a commodity to be consumed, nor is it a lump of clay for you to play with. Each pony who remains alive when they should be dead; each mistake that should have happened but didn't; each step your hooves make where they shouldn't have touched the ground - it all wounds Time. You noticed that I began to write Time with a capital letter, right? That's because you are ready to learn the most shocking truth about Time. It is alive. It is a living being that can be hurt like any other.

Besides, if you stop to speculate for a while, you will definitely come to a conclusion: Reversing your mistakes doesn't always bring you happiness.

Imagine a perfect Equestria. Tia... I mean, Celestia... That's Princess Celestia for you, mind it! (Have I said it before?) So, Celestia never banished Luna to the Moon because Nightmare Moon never appeared. In that case, the Elements of Harmony would have never been attached to the Last Bearers. Twilight Sparkle wouldn't have found her true love and thus never have children. Equestria would have never divided and the class system would become stricter and stricter... But there would be no rebels to lead the revolution - Twilight Sparkle died alone, remeber? After the Princesses' death (you cannot reverse death, you can only postpone it), the Griffins would have invaded Equestria and destroyed or enslaved all its citizens. It's a beautiful future, isn't it?

Or let's travel back in time and prevent Discord from being born, shall we? In that case, Star Swirl the Bearded wouldn't have lost his wings. So, Celestia and Luna wouldn't have been born and after Star Swirl's death, there would be no Equestria, only a shattered world, filled with hate and despair...

Now that you think it about it, it becomes clearer, doesn't it? Time and forgiveness... Time and Mystery... Time and Hesitance... I believe I've heard these lines before...

And now we've come to a wonderful deduction: time is irreversible. How is that possible? You will ask me. Well, I'm not making contradictions at all. Time is reversible and irreversible. At the same time. (Really, that pun is getting old...) It is reversible in a way that it can be reversed. It is irreversible in a way that it must not be reversed.

Fortunately, no beings in the Universe can control Time. Apart from us Time Lords. Life is unfair, you think. There is no such thing as justice, I say. And I am right. Why? Because I know everything. Yes, by everything I mean everything. I'm not arrogant (well, maybe a little), it is just this way. I am immortal. I am bound to be immortal. And this blessing is my ultimate and only curse.

So do you want to proceed to breathtaking adventures and (some) philosophical reflections?

Allons-y!

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"But what are you-"

"Right now we need to gather some information about the so-called 'Elements of Harmony' since Equestria will soon be attacked by a powerful alien who will easily destroy it and swallow the magic of all unicorns. And also devour them."

~~~

"What... was it?"

"Memory transfer. Fascinating, isn't it? Now let's go to sleep! We need to be up at five to seven in order to achieve our goal!"

"What goal?"

~~~

"The bed's large enough for two."

"No. Bucking. Way."

***

Author's Note.

My Little Pony is (c) by Hasbro. Doctor Who is (c) by BBC. Contrary to popular belief, the phrase 'Alons-y' is *not** copyrighted because it is a common French phrase used now and then. And if you wonder where The Doctor heard 'those lines', go play Braid by Jonathan Blow. It's awesome, really.*

Please leave your comments. Peace.

Bad Moon (Part 1) [EDITED]

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Bad Moon (Part 1)

***

Still with me, huh? I bet you are dying to hear about some adventures and shenanigans from the point of view of an omnipotent Time Lord? (I'm not omnipotent, mind you! Still, it's fun to know ponies actually think of me as a God.) To your deepest displeasure, this won't happen. Some situations I have experienced are so tragic for me and bring such a desperate feeling to my heart that it is painful even to speak about them. Sometimes it's hard to believe I committed all those sins...

Soon enough, you will see the Equestrian history isn't as bright and blissful as it is presented by Colchevsky. There were many stallions and mares with their roles to play that were forgotten and disappeared from the pages of ancient history. But I remember everything. I played my part, too: we Time Lords only play our parts as well as many other creatures.

But if we have roles to play and scripts, from which we read, how can we speak of freedom of choice? I have spent decades speculating on the subject and still haven't come to a decent answer. At least, my friend Shakespeare says that the world is a stage. I partly agree with him.

In this case, I'll create an invisible narrator that will lead you through the depths of my mind. My stories will no longer be told from my point of view; thus, I will no longer have to experience mental pain whilst telling them. The 'narrator' will. You can call him Josh, if you want. A nice name, isn't it?

This chapter will enlighten you with the true story of Nightmare Moon and how The Doctor (that's me, remember? Shh, the narrator's talking) regenerated into a pony. Let us raise the curtain that was hiding the truth!

***

Twilight Sparkle was cleaning the mess that Spike had left before rushing off to the Boutique to help Rarity when she heard a loud knock at the door. The lavender unicorn sighed and trotted to the door to open it. She was surprised to see an unfamiliar earth pony in the doorway, who was smiling charmingly. Of course, Twilight was new in Ponyville but she thought that after Pinkie's party the day before she made acquaintances with all Ponyville citizens. And, as if the brown earth pony before her could read her very thoughts, she heard him say:

"I wasn't present at the party yesterday; that's why you don't know me yet."

Twilight raised her brow.

"I haven't said anything," she pointed out.

The brown earth pony nodded.

"I know," he said. "But you have thought it," he finished with even a bigger smile.

Now the unicorn was not just surprised - she was utterly shocked. He can't really read my thoughts, right? she thought, looking in the newcomer's azure eyes.

"Yes I can," the brown pony shrugged. "Now, if you let me in, we will be able to save your world from an approaching danger, which will be here..." the pony stopped for a second. "...In two days, fifteen hours, thirty-two minutes and eight seconds. Minus fourteen seconds by this time," he cheerfully told Twilight.

The unicorn couldn't say anything at that moment so she just nodded and let the pony into the library.

"And what's your-" she began.

"I'm The Doctor," the stranger answered before she finished her question.

"-name," Twilight exhaled. It all seemed so bizarre to her that she started to question her sanity.

"You are not insane," The Doctor assured her, while burrowing in a large pile of books gathering dust near one of the shelves. "Not quite, at least," he addressed Twilight in such a tone that she didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

"But what are you-" she tried again. Alas, to no avail.

Twilight gasped in fear.

"Kidding about the last one. It feeds with magic, not ponies." The Doctor chuckled and instantly galloped to another pile of books, fervently searching for something. He touched a book for a mere second, then threw it away.

Twilight couldn't keep up with his pace, catching books with her telekinesis and lovingly putting them on the shelves.

"Um... Doctor? Could you?" she squeaked as she dodged another book flying in her direction. "COULD YOU STOP AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF FOR A SECOND?!!" she screamed, magically raising her voice.

The brown pony looked at her attentively and nodded.

"Listen closely, Twilight Sparkle," he whispered.

The constant amazement was so strong in Twilight's head that she wasn’t surprised to be called by her name.

"I will not repeat myself again because Time is precious. You are new in Ponyville, right?"

Twilight nodded.

"Good. Then you still need to make friends with five other ponies. You will do it tomorrow. Next, I need to find a book about those 'Elements of Harmony' to refresh my knowledge on the topic. Finally, I need to meet Tia to get those gems... She still lives in Everfree Forest, right?" The Doctor asked.

"Erm..." Twilight froze in bafflement. "Who is this Tia you are talking about, Doctor?" she wondered.

"Erm... Everfree Forest? The Castle Of The Royal Pony Sisters? Sounds familiar, no?" the earth pony scratched the back of his head.

"You mean..." Twilight's jaw hit the floor in realization. "How dare you call Princess Celestia that?!" she angrily shouted and sent a silence spell towards The Doctor's mouth. To her embarrassment and surprise, the spell ceased as it came close to the earth pony. Earth ponies can't reflect magic, she thought to herself suspiciously.

"Oh, I'm not an earth pony. I'm a Time Lord," The Doctor said matter-of-factly and continued his search. "A-ha! Here it is!" he exclaimed, holding a book in his hoof. "Now let's see..." The Doctor closed his eyes for a second and threw the book away.

"Are you going to read the book or you forgot how to do it?" Twilight mockingly asked, upon catching the book mid-air with her magic.

"Already have," the earth pony parried. "So, Kindness, Honesty, Loyalty, Laughter, Generosity and Magic. Which one are you, I wonder?" The Doctor slowly approached Twilight.

The unicorn took a step back.

The earth pony shook his head. "Trust me; I'm The Doctor," he whispered.

Twilight chuckled at his play upon words. That second she stood still was enough for The Doctor to check her.

"Magic... Amazing! It is a privilege to see the Element of Magic before myself!" he exclaimed and took a step back from Twilight.

"Now, if you just explain..." Twilight began but was interrupted by a noise The Doctor's cutie mark emitted. She couldn't believe her eyes: the hourglass was shining and the sand was slowly flowing from the upper half to the lower. In an instant, she felt unbearable pain in her head. It was more than just a headache: the information was hurting her. She collapsed on the floor, holding her head between her front hooves.

The Doctor, however, didn't change his position even slightly. After Twilight was able to stand on her knees, he approached her and took her up by the hoof.

"What... was it?" she quietly asked, still shaking.

"Memory transfer. Fascinating, isn't it? Now let's go to sleep! We need to be up at five to seven in order to achieve our goal!" And so the Time Lord let go of Twilight's hoof and she collapsed on the floor once more.

"What goal?" she asked when a sudden pain stabbed her mind. Nighmare Moon... Elements of Harmony... Elements destroy Nighmare Moon... Words were filling her head, and it felt like she was trying to remember something very important.

"So..." Twilight began cautiously, "...Me, as the Element of Magic, and five other ponies... need to stop some... erm... 'Nightmare Moon'?" she finished, amazed by all the information her memory now held.

"Exactly so!" The Doctor exclaimed. "Now, before you come up with any questions..."

Unfortunately, it was too late. Twilight's mouth erupted one question after another. It was like a dam that was suddenly broken and flooded with water. The Doctor sighed and cast a silence spell.

Twilight's pupils widened to the size of saucers. After the spell wore off, she took a breath but, before she could say anything, the brown pony interrupted her.

"Yes, I can cast magic. No, I'm not a unicorn. I'm a pony now but I'm not of equine nature. I am a Time Lord. No, I can't tell you more now. Yes, maybe I will tell you later. Maybe. And now we must go to sleep. We have a hectic day ahead."

Twilight nodded, slowly digesting the information that had fallen on her like a huge snowball. She stood up and trotted towards her bed, only to find The Doctor had already laid himself on it.

"Now, would you leave my bed?" Twilight wearily asked.

The Time Lord shook his head.

"Please?" she added.

The immortal Time Lord shook his head again.

"Pretty please... with cherry on top?" the lavender unicorn tried.

The omnipotent and gorgeous (Ah, the narrator's surpassed himself) Time Lord shook his head once more.

"The bed's large enough for two," he reasoned her.

"No. Bucking. Way," Twilight groaned and put a blanket near her bed. She lay on the blanket, exhausted and sure that it was all a strange dream.

***

"Rise and shine, Twilight!"

No. It was not a dream.

Twilight mumbled something indistinct and pulled the blanket over her head. Bad idea. She yelled when somepony (and she knew who that somepony was) splashed a load of cold water over her. The unicorn jumped, casting a fire spell that not only dried her coat and mane but also burned a bookshelf. Twilight sighed, sleepy and irritated.

"Look, what you've done," she grumbled at The Doctor. "That was my favorite bookshelf, not to mention that those books are... were extremely rare. It will take an eternity just to..."

The Time Lord's cutie mark glowed and the bookshelf returned to its previous shiny appearance.

"...repair it," Twilight finished, still not believing her eyes.

"Approximately two seconds," the brown pony said, stretching his limbs. "Now let's get going. You need to befriend the Elements while I shall pay a visit to Tia... Celestia, I mean," The Doctor corrected himself, noticing the stern look on Twilight's face. "Anyway, she still lives in the Everfree Forest, doesn't she?" he asked, opening the door and almost pushing the sleepy unicorn through it.

When Twilight finally shook off the dreamy thoughts that were comforting her, she found herself outdoors, with The Doctor staring at her. She blushed in embarrassment.

"Erm... Come again, please? Heh... heh..." she managed to say.

The brown pony sighed and repeated the question in the same exact words.

Twilight sceptically raised her brow. "Just how old are you? Princess Celestia lives in her castle in Canterlot, of course! She has lived there for... let me think... A THOUSAND YEARS!" she shouted, angry with the brown earth pony for mocking her.

"I'm sorry; the last time I was here was exactly a thousand years ago," The Doctor replied. "Canterlot... I'm not sure I have heard about it before. Is it a newly built city?" he wondered.

"It was built seven hundred years ago. Not funny, Doctor." Twilight's voice was cold as a grave.

"That's a new city for me!" the brown pony cheerfully exclaimed. "Mind showing me the way?"

Twilight mumbled something under her breath but decided to play by The Doctor's rules.

"Okay, but before we do it, could you lend me a helping hoof?" she asked.

"A helping... hoof?" The Doctor wondered. "Ah! It's like 'a helping hand'! A local idiom! Amazing!" he quickly took a notebook from nowhere (Twilight blinked in astonishment) and wrote down something.

"Hand?" Twilight kept blinking.

"Forget it, we have business! So, what's with the help?" the brown earth pony vigorously asked, moving in circles around Twilight.

"Could you stand still for a minute?" she moaned, starting to feel dizzy.

"And what if I don't?" The Doctor grinned. "You will cast a stun spell on me, huh?"

"Don't provoke me, Doctor," Twilight smiled and suddenly blushed as an embarrassing thought came to her mind. Am I... flirting with him?

"I can read your thoughts, remember?" The Doctor's face shone with victorious happiness.

Twilight gasped. "Ah! You... You puny Time Lord!" she shouted, losing her composure.

The earth pony raised his brow. "Wow. It's the first time someone calls me 'puny'. I'm over a thousand years old! Besides..." he chuckled with a sly grin, "...you are not to my taste."

Twilight's jaw almost hit the floor. She decided to give up and forget about the whole situation. For a while. She tried to remember what she was saying.

"So, Doctor..." she paused, waiting for the brown pony to turn serious again. It didn't take long - a couple of seconds, to be exact. (And we Time Lords are always exact, aren't we, Narrator?)

"Yes, Twilight?" he smiled.

"Could you help me find the other elements and... explain the situation to them?" she made an impression of a foal begging for a candy.

The Doctor shook his head.

"That won't work with me, Twilight," he said.

The lavender unicorn sighed. "We will lose less time if you help me," she tried, not sure if that reason would work. Fortunately, it did.

The Time Lord lowered his head for a second.

Twilight took a step towards him and yelped in shock when the brown pony jumped in excitement.

"Then we shall proceed!" he shouted. "Next stop: Element of Kindness! Let's see..." he closed his eyes. "Aha! The current bearer is a yellow pegasus named Fluttershy! Have you met her?"

"Oh yes..." Twilight shrugged, upon remembering the shy animal caretaker. "You know, Doctor... I suppose our initial idea was right: I shall see her alone," she finished with a fake smile.

"Nonsense! I will gladly accompany you! Allons-y!" The Doctor yelled and galloped away.

Twilight kept walking at a slow pace. She wondered how long would it take The Doctor to realize he doesn't know the way.

It was going to be a long, long day...

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"Doctor?"

"Y-yes, Twilight?"

"Would you do me a favour in exchange... a small one? All a nice mare can ask of such a... *prepossessing** stallion?"*

~~~

"Physical... Violence... Is not... The answer..."

"Oh, *do** believe me, I would have used my magic if you weren't IMMUNE to it!"*

Bad Moon (Part 2) [EDITED]

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Bad Moon (Part 2)

***

Twelve minutes. It took him twelve minutes to realize it. After the brown pony returned to Twilight with an embarrassed and guilty look, she immediately facehoofed.

"Lost your way, Doctor?" she asked him, mockingly wiggling her eyebrow. To her deepest amazement, The Doctor didn't parry it with a witty remark nor did he smirk and turn away. He took it like a stallion and simply nodded.

"Yes, it seems so. Mind guiding me?" he wondered, smiling warmly at Twilight.

Grr, you know how to make a mare do what you want, she thought in slightest irritation.

"Oh, I do," The Time Lord grinned, taking his place next to the lavender unicorn, trotting peacefully by her side.

Twilight blushed involuntary and mentally groaned at how many times it would happen. Then an idea came to her mind. She moved closer to The Doctor, almost leaning at him.

The brown pony seemed to have not noticed the sudden change in attitude. Twilight lowered her head so that her lips almost touched The Doctor's ear. It tickled, the brown earth pony automatically noticed.

"Doctor?" the unicorn asked, trying not to concentrate on her thought process so The Doctor won't read her thoughts again.

"Y-yes, Twilight?" the Time Lord seemed to remain in an eternal state of calmness but deep inside his mind creepy worries started to appear.

"Would you do me a favour in exchange... a small one? All a nice mare can ask of such a... prepossessing stallion?" she continued, now truly leaning on him.

The Doctor's limbs seemed to have frozen, and he would be really surprised if someone told him they had actually been moving all the time.

"I think I don't really understand you, Twilight..." he tried to move away from the sinister unicorn, but in vain: her magic seemed to have tied him to her body.

"Oh, I believe you do understand me, Doctor... The mysterious, enigmatic Doctor..." Twilight wiggled her brow again seductively. It made the poor brown pony go hot and cold, as if he had been working at a mine for ten hours straight.

No, no, no! he thought, trying to find a solution. If she has a crush on me, she won't meet *him*, Red Sparkle won't have been born and the whole country... NO, NO, NO! After that, his thoughts united in a strange tangle, rolling through his head.

"I..." Twilight leaned even closer, though it seemed to the brown pony that it was impossible. "Want you..." Twilight's lips touched The Doctor ear. He gulped in fear. "To..." the earth pony could feel her breath trying to break through the tympanic membrane, almost reaching his very brain. He braced himself. Now comes the worst. She is going to kiss him. Now.

"STOP READING MY THOUGHTS, YOU INCORRIGIBLE JESTER!" she shouted into his ear, making The Doctor stagger... no, fly away a couple meters and fall on the ground, deafened and half-alive by that point.

The unicorn couldn't help laughing so she just brought a hoof to her face and somehow managed to keep it to a loud snicker.

Upon rising from the grass, which was growing everywhere, softening occasional falls, The Doctor lovingly touched his head, making sure it was still in the right place. Fortunately, it was. He sighed. Although it was completely not what he had expected, he was glad the scenario turned out to be less... romantic. He let out a heavy sigh.

"I know species that would have called you a 'troll'," he gritted through his teeth.

Twilight blinked in surprise.

"A troll indeed," The Doctor quietly concluded.

"But you are right," he groaned, while stretching his badly affected limbs. "It will be better..." he looked at Twilight, who was still quietly laughing. "...for both of us," he finished, not happy to have started the whole mind-reading in the first place. He closed his eyes and, after a second (1.76 seconds, to be exact - your favourite Time Lord) of channelling magic through his so-called 'cutie-mark', smiled victoriously.

"There!" he said. "Now I can't read your thoughts!"

Twilight shook her head in disbelief. The Doctor approached her, patting her on the shoulder.

"That's true!" he suddenly exclaimed, making Twilight jump in surprise. The Doctor's eyes lit with those adventurous flames once more, the lavender unicorn noticed. "I have proof! Proof! Isn't it just wonderful?!" he pushed his face to Twilight's, making her blush instantly, but immediately pulled it back, running in circles around the young librarian.

"Come on, think of a number!" the brown pony yelled to Twilight, although she was just in a few steps from him.

The unicorn raised her brow, now questioningly.

The Doctor furiously shook his head, making Twilight afraid it would tear off his neck.

"I'm serious! Think of a number, I don't know... From one to million! And you will see I have no power of reading your thoughts! I simply won't be able to guess!" he excitedly shouted.

Twilight staggered a bit.

"I get it, Doctor," she said discontentedly. "Lower the volume, please - I'm getting a headache from it. AND STOP JUMPING!" she raised her voice despite her previous plea.

The brown earth pony stopped.

Silence endured, interrupted by the soft sound of falling leaves. Autumn was slowly crawling near the borders of Equestria, although it was still summer. A vernal breeze whispered something to the birds that were just beginning to sing their marches ever so beautifully. Most ponies were asleep, and no one dared to disrupt the harmony of that peaceful morning. The dusty road the two ponies were standing on was narrow and seemed to be endless, going through the Everfree Forest, skirting countless villages, lakes and mountains, all the way to the Western Frontier of Equestria. Bright, shiny grass was growing everywhere. It looked very delicious, and Twilight resisted the urge to excuse herself and go eat. She still had to get breakfast somewhere. Some creatures had already woken up, like hares and rabbits that were happily jumping across the welcoming fields of Equestria. Celestia's sun seemed to warm everything; not only warm, but also wake and give the very motive to live. Twilight wanted to forget everything and give herself up to the overwhelming feeling of joy and delight ,but a dark shade fell upon her mind when she remembered why they had left the library in the first place.

She nervously smiled.

"All right... A number, you say?" she asked The Doctor.

He simply nodded, seeming to have just experienced the same unity with nature.

"Okay! I'm ready!" Twilight cheerfully exclaimed, shrugging off the dark thoughts.

The Doctor grinned. The hourglass glowed once more. He concentrated but couldn't break through the invisible barrier he himself had built.

"Nope!" The Doctor joyfully replied. "Can't guess it!"

Twilight frowned, displeased. "How can I be sure you're not lying?"

The brown pony frowned as well, trying to remember something.

"A-ha!" he shouted, taking the lavender unicorn by surprise again. "Cross my heart and... and..." he paused for a while. "...And hope to fly!" he burst out.

Twilight chuckled.

"Stick a cupcake in the eye?" she finished the famous swear.

The Doctor seemed to have not understood.

"Erm... Whatever you want... Just... Believe me, will you? Trust is very important," he finished very seriously.

"Not typical of him to be so serious... Something terrible is definitely going to happen..." Twilight quietly mumbled.

"Pardon?" The Doctor interrupted her thinking process.

"Let's get going!" she exclaimed, putting on a smile.

They continued walking side by side, bathing in the warmth of the rising sun.

"But you can at least guess," Twilight said suddenly.

"Eh?" the brown pony shrugged in lack of understanding.

"The number. The number I thought of back then. To check your intuition, you know," she smiled.

"Oh yes... Let's say... twenty thousand seven hundred and forty-three," The Doctor joked, keeping walking when he suddenly realised Twilight had stopped dead in her tracks.

"You..." she hissed. The poor Time Lord could swear he saw smoke coming out of her nostrils. "YOU LIED TO ME! THAT'S THE EXACT NUMBER I THOUGHT OF!!" dhe shouted, running into the brown earth pony and pinning him to the ground.

"I... I just..." The Doctor couldn't help laughing. Such coincidences were rare but not impossible. Twilight took his laughter as a sign of her rightness and kept kicking the already beaten (Remember when she shouted at me? That was pretty rough, mind you! - Yours, Time Lord) Doctor, furiously assaulting him with her horn.

"Physical... Violence... Is not... The answer..." the Time Lord managed to squeak between fits of laughter and pain.

"Oh, do believe me, I would have used my magic if you weren't IMMUNE to it!" With that, the lavender unicorn seemed to have calmed down a little and took a step back, allowing The Doctor to rise.

He shook himself and looked at her leniently.

She huffed.

He humphed.

She turned aside from him.

He turned aside from her and somehow managed to cross his hooves.

She did her best 'I'm-disappointed-with-you-mister' impression.

And then something completely unexpected happened. Both ponies burst into uncontrollable, Homeric laughter, falling on their backs, rolling on the grass, tears splashing from their eyes. It was a strange, yet delightful scene for both ponies.

Just when they managed to get on their hooves, they felt embarrassment overwhelming them.

The Doctor nervously coughed.

Twilight deeply blushed.

"Heh... heh..." she forced a smile.

"Well..." The Doctor said, looking at his hooves. Then he jumped up in horror, increasing his pace as he ran along the narrow path, away from Twilight.

"Wait!" she shouted. "What's wrong?"

"We've lost two hours! Two HOURS of our precious time! My plan will go horribly wrong if don't follow the schedule! You have no choice but to keep up with me!" he shouted back, before adding: "And now I do know the way to Fluttershy's! Allons-y!"

Twilight sighed and galloped towards the slowly vanishing dot on the horizon that had appeared in her life so suddenly and changed it so strangely.

***

Hello, it's me. I mean, The Doctor. I'm terribly sorry for interrupting the narration like this but at this point I must bring forth one of the lyrical digressions I was talking about.

Have I mentioned I am the last of Time Lords? No? Well, I totally am. Not that it bothers me now. My people died fighting a horrible war and, albeit I was not much of a pacifist back then, I became one after it. A peacemaker. A lonely adventurer poking his nose into others' affairs and mending what was broken. And you know what's the most terrible aspect of all of this?

It never ends.

By solving problems, I simply create alternative universes, not changing the future of the initial universe. Nighmare Moon conquered Equestria. Two bloodthirsty totalitarian states destroyed planet Earth in 1960s. The ponies were wiped out by the Griffins.

It all happened. All of it. Although those who live in alternative universes cannot see it, I can. I see it all the time... Blood. Sweat. Pain. Tears. Death.

No matter how I want it not to happen, it happens. I am powerless. I control the Time itself - and I am still powerless. I think that is the curse of a Time Lord. We are meant to witness, not interfere. And, though intervening in the events, I still witness them go by, happen how they were meant to happen.

I don't know what power decided for ponies to die, for the whole civilizations to cease. There is no such power in the Universe. Except Chaos. Anarchy. Entropy. Discord. Discord... I have a story about it... about him. But that is for the next time.

But the worst possible thing ever (as a certain white mare would have said... I miss her. I miss them all.) is that the Time War, the Great Time War that destroyed my nation, still goes on. It is a time war, so it is eternal. It is happening in the past, present and future at the same time (now I can't even chuckle at the pun), making me the witness... and the criminal at once. I can interrupt. I can help my people. But I won't. I won't because I know that the war has no end. The parties will always fight each other, with no regard to common sense.

I am standing above Time, kneeling before it. I am its master and its slave. It is my God and my worshipper.

There were times when I would travel to a newly born planet. Heat, rocks, dust and sand. Sometimes water. That was all the planet greeted me with. I was alone and happy. I could wander around, take a look at the bottomless pit in a vague attempt... But then came the creatures. The civilizations. I watched them grow, like children, like foals in your case. I've seen many a lifespan of a civilization and I can assure you: a civilization either comes to a peaceful existence or dies.

That's why I beg you: make peace while you can. It won't change anything. Your whole existence won't change anything, for a pony is too small to make a change. But make peace for the sake of peace. Make peace to make peace.

I want to end this chapter with an old but still timely (no, I couldn't have said 'topical') phrase, so favourited by a wise and bright human author called Kurt Vonnegut:

Peace.

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

So warm... Mmm... I loooove these bubbles! Haven't had such a nice bath in... Screw it - I have NEVER had such a nice bath! If only It could last forever... forever...

~~~

"Angeeeeel! I've found you a doctor!"

~~~

"You know, once I met an alien who refused to register according to the Shadow proclamation... Let's say... his future was most... *miserable*."

Bad Moon (Part 3)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Bad Moon (Part 3)

***

The Sun was bathing in its warmth in the sky, the critters were moving to and fro, getting under the two ponies' hooves when they reached Fluttershy's cottage. Singing could be heard from miles around: not only a pony's voice but also the tenors of colibri and baritones of other birds who were accompanying their soloist.

Twilight felt her heart melt in the majestic, yet soothing sounds of the performance. The best thing about it was that the birds were singing willingly, not performing but simply enjoying themselves. The lavender unicorn thought she could listen to it forever.

The Doctor, however, didn't share her opinion. He smiled, whispering to Twilight: "She surely can sing," and knocked at the door loudly.

The voices momentarily ceased, and only a constrained shriek from the inside interrupted the silence.

The Time Lord shrugged and knocked again, this time more fiercely.

Twilight frowned. She had met Fluttershy before and she knew exactly why it would have been better if the noisy and energetic brown earth pony did not accompany her.

"We have no time! Wouldn't. You. Just. OPEN!" He gritted through his teeth as he kept banging the door.

Silence endured. Twilight sighed. The Doctor's face expressed anger, irritation and annoyance. After what seemed like a minute (A minute and twenty seconds! Twenty! - Your Time Lord) the door slowly opened and the two ponies could see a yellow pegasus standing in the doorway. On her head was a steel pot and she was holding a frying pan as a weapon.

"D-d-don't come c-c-closer," the pegasus whispered. "I-I-I am armed t-to the teeth!" She finished a bit louder. (When the narrator says 'a bit louder', he means that Fluttershy's voice increased in volume from a veeeeery quiet whisper to a veeeery quiet whisper - T.L.)

The Doctor raised a brow. Then he chuckled. The pegasus immediately hid behind the door, sticking out only her 'weapon'.

Twilight groaned. "Fluttershy, it's me, Twilight," she cooed as she slowly reached the door.

Fluttershy put out her head for a second. Then a small smile appeared on her face. "Twilight!" She almost exclaimed, now fully leaving the doorway, still glaring suspiciously at the brown earth pony. "Is this stallion... with you?" She cautiously asked.

Twilight sighed again. "I wish he weren't..." The unicorn grumbled under her breath. "Oh yes, he is... a friend of mine, actually," she said aloud.

The shy pegasus took a step towards the grinning earth pony. Then another one. Then her attitude unpredictably changed and she suddenly ran towards him, almost knocking him down, pulling him towards the cottage.

"What?" Twilight raised her brow.

"What the..." The Doctor tried to break free in vain.

"Poor dear... All these scars and bruises... I will tend to you, don't worry!" Fluttershy cooed, raising her voice. "Oh, I would love to see the thing that did it to you!" She finished, building some courage. "If... if it is okay with them" she muttered, ashamed of her sudden outburst.

"Heh... Heh..." Twilight scratched the back of her head with a guilty look. "Well, It would be better if you didn't" She faked a smile.

The Time Lord managed to resist the urge to yell: It's her, Fluttershy! It's that bad lavender pony that did it! and submissively let the animal caretaker bring him in. He heard Twilight's voice coming through constrained giggles: "Well, I think you two will come to an agreement! I'm off to see Applejack! She's Honesty, right?"

"Right..." whispered The Doctor, well knowing that Twilight had already left.

Fluttershy blinked in surprise. "What agreement?" She asked with such a cute and simple expression that the brown pony, in spite of himself, thought the matter to wait until a better moment.

He smiled and lightly shrugged. "We'll talk about it later," he said, looking around. The interior of Fluttershy's cottage was simply amazing: clean, shiny furniture brought pleasure to one's eyes, while the noble lamps lost their stiffness at the sight of plain cushions and almost invisible curtains, which seemed to not cover the light but to increase its intensity instead. The most shoking sight, however, was that the cottage was full of animals, who were sitting, lying and standing everywhere - what surprised The Doctor was that they were living there in order, silent and obedient. She must be really good with animals, he thought.

Fluttershy took initiative, taking The Doctor by surprise. "I'll make you a nice teeny-weeny bath with foam and aroma flowers to soothe your wounds!" She continued cooing, like one of her birds.

"I wouldn't call them 'wounds'..." The earth pony began but Fluttershy was already on her way to the bathroom.

The Doctor smiled and followed her.

***

So warm... Mmm... I loooove these bubbles! Haven't had such a nice bath in... Screw it - I have NEVER had such a nice bath! If only It could last forever... forever...

Fluttershy coughed.

All that is needed to make it complete is a yellow rubber duck...

Fluttershy coughed one more time, a bit louder.

The water's getting colder... How long have I been there? Oh my gosh!

The Doctor snapped out of his dreamy thoughts, looking at Fluttershy with wide eyes. The pegasus seemed to shrink under his gaze.

"I just wanted to ask your name..." she squeaked, blushing for no reason. "I'm Fluttershy but you... know it already..." Her voice dropped to a whisper.

The brown earth pony gave her a reassuring smile, leaving the tub and drying himself with a towel.

"I'm The Doctor," he said, going out of the bathroom.

The yellow mare followed him, her face shining with a huge smile.

She almost leapt at him, wrapping her hooves around his neck. "Finally! Finally!" She happily yelled. While the Time Lord was trying to come to his senses, she trotted towards a small sofa, where a rabbit was lying.

"Angeeeeel!" She sang. "I've found you a doctor!"

The rabbit turned his face towards The Doctor and screwed up his eyes. He shook his head in such a manner that could identified as a definite 'No'.

"He will help your paw!" Fluttershy tried to reason the stubborn white ball of fur.

Angel stuck out his tongue.

"Angel. Bunny. You don't want me to use it, do you? Do you?" The once meek pegasus drew closer, her face almost touching Angel's.

However, the rabbit seemed to be experienced in such affairs and simply shook his head again, now in a 'Oh? Really?' manner.

The Doctor finally regained his composure and, with a brand smile (The Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM] - nice name, don't you think? - T.L.), approached the rabbit, gently pushing Fluttershy aside. He winked at her.

"Some men's business here, Fluttershy. Could you... get us some tea or something?" He asked.

The yellow pegasus nodded. "Okay... But please don't argue or fight, okay?" She pleaded, looking more at her bunny than at the brown pony.

"Don't worry, Fluttershy, we are going to be most... friendly..." The Doctor gave the white rabbit a glare and was met with the same glare from him.

The animal caretaker hesitantly left the room.

The Time Lord carefully bent over the sofa, his lips in a few millimeters from Angel's ears.

The rabbit snorted but he couldn't move his limbs: the pain in the paw was too severe.

The Doctor began whispering into Angel's ear: "You know, once I met an alien who refused to register according to the Shadow proclamation... Let's say... his future was most... miserable."

The rabbit shrugged, rising his brow. His expression was saying: 'So what? How does it affect me?'

The brown pony gave the rabbit a pat on the back. "I am a Time Lord, bunny. And I know exactly where you come from," he said, nodding his head.

Angel's pupils widened to the size of saucers. He furiously shook his head whick could be translated as 'You must be kidding me! It's impossible! You are a mere earth pony!'

"It is so," The Doctor answered to his gestures. "Look." And so his cutie mark glowed and the room around them started to shimmer.

Suddenly, Fluttershy appeared before them, in the exact position she was in before going to the kitchen.

She nodded. "Okay... But please don't argue or fight, okay?" She pleaded, looking more at her bunny than at the brown pony.

And Angel Bunny thought his eyes couldn't go any wider...

After Fluttershy went to the kitchen again, Angel began shivering. He looked up at the Doctor, shaking from fear.

The Time Lord smiled. "Proved it to you?" He asked. "Or do you need more proof?" He threatened the poor fur ball.

Angel shook his head and gulped.

"Good." The Doctor smiled. "Now, as far as your injury goes..." The hourglass began to glow and, to the rabbit's deepest amazement, the pain vanished in a second. (Exactly one second... What can I say? Accurate Time Lord is accurate! - T.L.)

The brown pony winked. "Feeling better, bunny? Now if you are a dear and are gentle to Fluttershy, I might forget about your... birthplace," He concluded.

The white rabbit simply nodded, almost frozen in awe.

The yellow pegasus interrupted the scene,walking in holding a tray with two cups of tea in her mouth. The Doctor immediately took it from her and put it on the table.

Fluttershy blushed again. "Thank you," she whispered so quietly that no one could hear her.

The Doctor cleared his throat.

"Let's have your tea, shall we? I'll explain the situation to you by the way," he said, and the two ponies sat down at table, one ready to listen, the other eager to tell.

***

Speak of lyrical digressions, and they'll appear. Hello, it's me, your fellow Time Lord.

Today, we are going to talk about a very special field - knowlege. Most ponies believe that knowlege is power, while the others say that ignorance is bliss.

Neither are right.

On one hoof, knowlege may bring you pleasure. The more you learn, the more you open the secrets of the Universe to yourself, the deeper you delve into the Unknown - the more delight it brings to your heart. You think you contribute to the magnificent pillar of scrutiny, rising above the world itself.

You are wrong. You are so wrong.

Everything has been learnt. Everything is known. There is no new information in the Universe. Though it may be new for you, you won't contribute to anything. Though it may be new for your civilization, it won't contribute to anything.

Then why learn? Why scrutinize the machines that operate your factories and plants, trying to make them work better? Why examine the laws of nature, trying to bend it to your will? Why bother trying?

For the sake of trying, I say.

Before I lead you to the conlusion I am going to make, I will happily answer the question you was probably going to ask: Then how will the Universe develop if all civilizations sit on their flanks doing nothing? Huh? What about it, omnipresent Time Lord?

Remeber what I told you about parallel universes? They work in most stange ways. Imagine you raise your hoof here and somewhere in the parallel universe you (or not you - it's complicated, really) find a way to travel across Time and Space the same instant.

And all of this had already happened by the time you did it. Before you raised your hoof or found a way to travel across Time and Space (whatever you prefer), you have already raised your hoof or found a way to travel across Time and Space. And you are yet to raise your hoof or find a way to travel across Time and Space. At the same time. (By the way, it's my favorite pun so you'll just have to... how do they say? Deal with it.)

Pretty mind-breaking, huh? But that's true. The Universe works in most chaotic ways. It's unpredictable but predictable at the same time. Chaos and Order mess and mix and unite and clash, making the perfect development of the Universe.

Aha! The conclusion! Totally forgot about it, my fault.

Remember when I told you to make peace to make peace? And now I tell you to try to try? You can guess the logical deduction.

Do things to do things.

Do things for the sake of doing things.

To be is to do? Nope. To do is to be? Nope.

To be is to be.

To do is to do.

Think about it.

And what about me? I know everything. Everything that was, is or will be (which is basically the same).

And it never makes me happy. I have nothing to learn. I have nothing to do. All that I will ever do has already been done by me, and I know it. Because I've seen it. I know exactly what I will do tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, in ten years, in a hundred years... I'm bound to do it. And if I don't do it, I don't make a change. I simply create another parallel universe that has already been created. By me. And I know it already, too.

I'm not complaining. (Well, maybe a little.) It is a confession. You were given the privilege to be my confessor. Congratulations! However, I pity you when you reach the end of this book...

To the next chapter! Allons-y!

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

Magic. Magic... Heh, I love the word. It's so... um... *magical*?

~~~

In fact, only you ponies call it 'Equestria': according to the Shadow proclamation, it is planet n. 1728304347634. But for the sake of easiness, let's just call it 'Equestria', shall we?

***

Author's note.

I'm so, so sorry for such short chapters. I will probably unite the parts later, when I finish the story arc. As for now, please leave your comments. Feedback is important and constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Peace.

Bad Moon (Part 4)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Bad Moon (Part 4)

***

What would one do if they were to hear that they, in fact, were a transmitter of ancient magic, bound to defeat some kind of Ancient Evil coming from another planet to feed upon ponies' magic? A brave pony would definitely brace themselves to meet the terrifying alien. A normal pony would gasp in fear but eventually admit they have to face the music. A meek pony would probsbly run off and hide. What did Fluttershy do when she heard it?

She fainted.

The Doctor didn't expect such a reaction. The almighty Time Lord, who must have known every possible consequence of every possible action found himself in lack of understanding. Indeed, such a reaction was strange and probably a bit too severe, for The Doctor actually had explained that The Elements would be victorious, banishing Nightmare Moon. Fluttershy, knowing this and believing the strange brown earth pony, still did what she did.

The Doctor jumped up and started running in circles, trying to find a solution. It was so new for him - an unexpected situation, something he didn't foresee. (Later, I realised it was a time paradox, involving a minor crack in the Time-Space continuum. At that time, however, I was really frightened. For a moment, I even thought that I had lost my powers somehow! - T.L.)

Angel shook his head, astonished by the Time Lord's dumbness and sheer idiocy (Hey, Narrator! Watch your tongue!), and made his way towards the kitchen to get a glass of water for Fluttershy and snatch a snack by the way. He was hungry, after all!

After a few seconds of fervent running (18.57 seconds, to be exact. - Time Lords, ruining the narration since the Beginning of Time), The Doctor noticed that the yellow pony was not coming to her senses and, to make matters worse, the goddamn bunny had escaped somehow. He reached Fluttershy and put a hoof to her chest. It was neither rising nor falling. Not a single breath could be heard. The brown earth pony turned pale the next instant. He couldn't believe his eyes: he knew that at the moment of fainting, the heart could have stopped, but it must have returned to its normal rhythm by that time. It was crystal clear that something went wrong: either the pegasi' bodies were maladjusted to fainting or Fluttershy was really easy to be frightened to death. Literally.

The Doctor quickly brushed up all the information about first aid that he could find in the mazes of his complicated mind. Artificial ventilation. The Doctor shook his head in frustration. That was not an option.

Artificial. Ventilation. The thought haunted the poor Time Lord's head. Maybe that was an option? Like... a last resort?

ARTIFICIAL. VENTILATION. NOW. Or she dies... The Doctor muttered something under his breath and, building up his courage, lowered his head over Fluttershy's. Desperately looking around and finding no cloth or gauze he could use as an interlaying, he firmly pressed his lips to the yellow pegasus' mouth, breathing fresh air into her lungs. What happened next, however, made his jump away in fear. The pegasus smiled, hesitantly opening her eyes.

"What a dream..." She whispered and sat up on the sofa. Upon looking at the shocked Doctor, she widened her eyes in sudden realization. Then, she blushed and hid her face under the sheets.

After regaining his composure, the Time Lord realised that Fluttershy thought it to have been a kiss and, smiling (using The Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM], no less! - T.L.) broadly, moved towards her, putting a comforting hoof on her shoulder. The yellow let out a surprised yelp and carefully put out her head, looking at The Doctor both horrified and curiously.

"Fluttershy, that was an act of artificial ventilation, nothing more," The earth pony assured her. For an instant he could swear he saw her face fade in disappointment.

"Oh," she managed to say. "Okay. I have just thought..." And, as she had often done before, the shy pegasus finished her phrase quietly, mumbling under her breath.

I reeeeaally hope she hasn't a crush on me... The Doctor thought, not changing his face expression.

Fluttershy stood up, slightly shaking, gladly leaning at the brown pony's shoulder he had offered to her for support.

"So... Why would you want to do... um... that to me?" She whispered ever so quietly. Fortunately, the Time Lord was near her so he could hear that hesitant shadow of a question.

The Doctor raised his brow. "Oh, that artificial ventilation?" He frowned. "Well, you see, your heart wasn't beating so..."

Fluttershy's ears dropped.

"Oh my... I have fainted many times but I've never experienced apparent death..." She was just about to faint again when Angel suddenly entered the room, holding a galss of water in his paw.

The Doctor sent him a glare, which the rabbit countered with mastery achieved through his life-long experience. The white bunny came up to Fluttershy and passed her the glass.

The meek pegasus patted him on the back of his head. "Oh, bunny!" She cooed nicely. "You are so caring! I'm so glad I have you!" She almost exclaimed. (But almost whispered, nevertheless... I wonder, how she does it? ... How she *did** it, I mean... I miss her. I miss them all. - T.L.*)

The sinister bunny grinned, triumphantly looking at The Doctor.

The Time Lord easily conceded his right to be Fluttershy's favorite critter to Angel, slightly bowing his head in acceptance of his defeat.

After drinking the water, Fluttershy instantly felt better. Angel left the room, giving the earth pony an understanding wink that could be interpreted both as 'I know what you two are up to, bro, and I won't interfere. Go get her, tiger!' and 'You realise the water is special, right? I'll teach you the trick later.' The Doctor hoped it was the second kind.

Upon the bunny's departure, silence endured in the small cottage. The Time Lord looked out of the window.

The sun was ready to descend step by step down its invisible ladder. Most ponies couldn't stand the heat and hid in their houses, waiting for the evening, when the temperature would be more merciful. Others (those were mostly foals) happily roamed across Equestria's evergreen summer fields, rolling on the ground. In the park, young couples were sharing quick kisses, too scared to be noticed to really enjoy them.

The Doctor's contemplation was interrupted by Fluttershy's question. Alas, he was so lost in the scenery that he had to ask her to repeat.

"I said... um... Have you checked it? If my heart really wasn't beating... Maybe I have to ask Nurse Redheart about it..."

The brown pony nodded.

"Yes, Fluttershy, I have. In fact, I've laid my ear on the right side of your chest twice, with an interval of... let me see... 14.86 seconds, and I swear I couldn't hear a beat!"

"Doctor..."

"Not a single one!"

"Doctor."

"Of course, one time's not enough, I said to myself, so..."

"Doctor!" Fluttershy screamed. (When the Narrator says 'screamed' about Fluttershy, he means 'said in a little-higher-than-lower-than-normal-for-most-ponies voice. But that was loud enough for me, for sure. - T.L.)

"Yes, Fluttershy?" The Doctor looked at the once more blushing pegasus.

"A pony's heart is located at the left side of their chest..." She said again in an unexpectedly firm voice. "So my heart was beating... And it was a kiss, then..." She smiled and her blush turned to the deepest shade of red the embarassed Time Lord had ever seen.

"Um... Fluttershy... I just didn't know a thing about ponies' vascular system..." He managed to reason her.

The pegasus kept staring at her hooves and blushing but repeated even more firmly: "It was a kiss. An occasional one, but a kiss nevertheless."

The Doctor was so impressed by the sudden change in the pegasus' assertiveness level that he decided to be diplomatic on the matter.

"O-kay, Fluttershy... Whatever you want to believe... A kiss it was, then," he said, making Fluttershy's eyes lit with pride.

Hello, this is The Doctor. I'm interrupting our outstanding Narrator here, for this is an urgent moment. Remember it. Because of the afore-mentioned phrase, the whole history of Equestria could have gone wrong. I will tell about it another time; just remember that I almost ruined the world due to my natural idiocy... Although I'm a genius, mind you!

***

The idillic silence was rudely interrupted by a loud knocking at the door. The Doctor rose from his place and trotted to the door, opening it, only to see panting Twilight before his eyes.

The lavender unicorn raised a brow, upon looking at the still embarassed earth pony and blushing Fluttershy. She grinned and let out a chuckle.

"Oh... Never in my life have I imagined that you two would become so close... You're a ladies man, Doctor!" She said with a stupid smirk. (You see, even the Narrator's on my side! It *was** stupid! - T.L.*)

The Doctor groaned, while the pegasus softly let out a laugh.

"No, Twilight, it's not that way..." She said, her voice soft as a feather.

The Time Lord let out a relieved sigh.

Twilight couldn't resist Fluttershy's kind simplicity so she nodded.

"I see, Fluttershy. Sorry for accusing you," she said almost guiltily.

"We just happened to share a kiss," Fluttershy cheerfully concluded, raising her head.

The Doctor seemed to have choked with something, although he wasn't chewing anything.

Twilight froze in place, her witty brain trying to perform a thousand calculating operations to make sure she was awake, fully sane and concious.

"What." The librarian flatly said. It was more of an affirmative sentence than a question, really.

"You don't want to know..." The Time Lord sighed. "It ended up being a quick one, after all," he concluded.

"WHAT." Twilight raised her voice a bit.

"Hehe, Fluttershy... We'll be back soon!" The Doctor charmingly smiled (The Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM], remember? - T.L.) at the blushing pegasus, leaving the cottage and swiftly closing the door behind his back.

"Take care..." Fluttershy said to the door before her. The two ponies had already begun their way anywhere far from Fluttershy's place (The addition's mine, by the way. I seem to enjoy interrupting the narration, you know? - T.L.)

When Twilight snapped out of her shock, she realised she was being pushed by the brown earth pony all the way.

"Hey! Let me go, you!" She yelled at The Doctor, stepping aside and standing erect, trying to regain her lost pride.

The Time Lord shrugged.

"So, how's Honesty?" He wondered.

"Applejack, you mean? She's fine. What's more, she understood the situation perfectly and agreed to assist us." Twilight replied.

The Doctor approvinly nodded.

"Moreover, Rainbow Dash happened to be around the farm..." Twilight paused. "Yeah... appeared to be... every day... for hours..." Then she mumbled something under her breath, something involving a 'mental note'.

"Aand?" The Doctor tried to mentally shake the unicorn's mind.

"Oh! And she heard everything and agreed to help us too. No wonder she's the Element of Loyalty!" Twilight cheerfully finished her report.

"Fantastic!" The Time Lord exclamed. "So can you show me the way to Canterlot now, please?"

The lavender mare shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Doctor, but there are still two Elements left: Laughter and Generousity. And you will help me," she firmly stated.

"These aren't the droids you're looking for?" The Doctor asked, grinning widely. "Your Jedi tricks don't work on me, Twilight."

Twilight blinked.

"Um... What?" She asked, concerned that the brown pony might have had a severe head injury or something.

"Star Wars? Obi Wan?" The Time Lord tried.

Twilight sighed, questioning The Doctor's sanity for whatever-it-was-th time that day.

"Anyway," she said. "I may need your help with one of those ponies. The Element of Generousity is Rarity the fashionista..."

"No!" The Doctor interrupted her, his eyes widened. "No! No more beautiful mares for today. I won't be able to bear it." And I may break the Time-Space continuum, he thought.

The unicorn automatically checked her hair.

"Why, Doctor, it's so nice of you..." She was obviously flattered.

The cunning Time Lord grinned.

"When I said 'no more beautiful mares', I meant Fluttershy," he said.

"Ah, you-" Twilight wanted to swear but managed to hold her urge to do it. Instead, she met The Doctor with her own grin. (A veeery sly one, if I may say! - T.L.)

"Will you invite me to your clearly approaching wedding or do I have to ask Fluttershy to send me an invitation?" She countered The Doctor's mockery.

"Not playing," he coldly replied.

"Maybe I could be her mare of honor..." Twilight almost sang, in her vain attempt of mockery.

Or not so vain...

The Doctor groaned but quickly regained his composure.

"Okay," he finally said. "I'll meet with Laughter, then. Pinkamena Pie... Where does she live?"

"Sugarcube Corner, the local bakery and sweets shop," The unicorn replied.

"She likes to be called 'Pinkie'!" She shouted towards The Doctor, who galloped away towards the centre of Ponyville.

"By Celestia's beard..." Twilight swore at last. "I so wish it were all a dream..."

She pinched her coat.

"Ouch!" She yelled. Then she sighed.

It was not a dream, unfortunately... Or fortunately?

Without giving way to such thoughts, Twilight trotted towards the Carousel Boutique.

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"I'm Pinkie Pie but my friends call me Pinkie but now I'm a cherry tree because to make cherry jam you have to look eeeexactly like a cherry tree and that's why I'm dressed like this - do you like it - and oh my I shouldn't speak because trees don't usually speak - of course they sometimes do but on veeeery rare occasions!"

~~~

"-and I wonder what a Time Lord is doing here in Equestria?"

"Um... What? How... How do you know about me?"

~~~

"HUMANS?"

"Yes, humans! You know, these creatures that walk on two legs and have fingers and-"

"I *know*, Pinkie."

~~~

"You need to save Equestria from some... how to put this nicely... 'Ancient Evil' and-"

"Nightmare Moon?"

"How did you... Don't tell me you travel through Time, too!"

"No, dummy, of course not! I'm not a Time Lord - *you** are a Time Lord, remember?"*

~~~

"-And that's how I got my cutie mark!"

"Pinkie.. That's the story of how Equestria was made..."

~~~

"Canterlot? It's that big city near the mountain! Why would Twilight need to show it to you? It's visible from any place in Equestria, dummy!"

~~~

"Twitchy eye, Twilight. He's going to..."

"Celestia help us now..."

***

Author's note.

Look - no lyrical digressions here! I think I've compensated the last chapter.

Please, comment and rate. Rate and comment. Then comment some more. Your comments are making me feel happy. You want me to be happy, don't you?

I know that deep in your heart, you do. :doctorwink:

Peace.

Bad Moon (Part 5)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Bad Moon (Part 5)

***

The sun was setting over Equestria, and that was a decent contr-argument to the Equestrian propaganda of that times, which quite firmly stated that 'The Sun never sets over the Solar Empire'. Anyway, the sun was setting, making The Doctor worried that he would be late.

Slightly anxious, he reached the Sugarcube Corner, gazing at the magnificent building that seemed to be made of candy, chocolate and all the sweets that one could imagine. The sweet radiance it emitted was too much for the poor Time Lord so he decided to hold his urge to lick the door at bay and simply knocked instead.

At first he thought the knock wasn't loud enough and decided to repeat the process but in an instant a pink earth pony threw the door open.

The Doctor couldn't help staring at her in disbelief. My eyes must be betraying me, he thought, and had a good reason to do so.

The pink pony was wearing a green tunic, brown gloves and a red hat which was clearly made of paper and was painted with tomato juice.

"Helllooooo!" The pink pony cheerfully exclaimed. "Who are you? Oh, where are my manners! I'm Pinkie Pie but my friends call me Pinkie but now I'm a cherry tree because to make cherry jam you have to look eeeexactly like a cherry tree and that's why I'm dressed like this - do you like it - and oh my I shouldn't speak because trees don't usually speak - of course they sometimes do but on veeeery rare occasions!"

The Doctor stood in silence. His brain simply couldn't come to terms with the fact that a creature with so much energy could exist in the Universe without breaking it into pieces. His expression wonderfully resembled Twilight's when she heard about the kiss. (Artificial ventilation, mind you! It was artificial ventilation, nothing more! - T.L.) He decided to give himself up to the force of randomness and, trying to put up his special smile (a.k.a. The Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM]), raised his hoof to greet the active pony in a proper way.

"Name's The Doctor. At your service," he said with a slight bow of his head.

The pink earth pony shook his hoof energetically, bouncing away to let the brown pony come in, babbling something by the way.

"Um... Pinkie?" The Doctor tried to interrupt her.

"...And I might call myself a baker because that's what I do for a living - actually I don't get paid at all - and I wonder how I live without money but that's okay because I manage somehow - and I'm somewhat you may call an undergraduate baker because I haven't finished any baking courses - becuase there aren't any as far as I know - and I know veeeery much - you can ask Gummy - he's my pet alligator-"

"Pinkie?!" The Doctor raised his voice.

"-and pet alligators are fun and I loooove fun - because fun is fun - oh, that's not a tautology, is that? - hmm, I wonder what a tautology is... What is a tautology, Doctor?" She suddenly asked in a sing-song voice.

The Time Lord was so taken by surprise that he couldn't do anything but answer the unexpected question.

"Well, it's a lexical repetition..." he said, thinking to himself: Confound this Equestria... It drives me to meet unexpectedness... And I'm thinking like a human again!

"-and that's why I asked you - because I wanted to know if you knew it - and if you're smart - and you are smart - in fact you're a smart smarty-pants - not the doll I mean - but you understand me anyway because you know what I mean because you are smart - hmm... Have I said it before?" Pinkie raised a hoof to her chin.

"Yes..." The Doctor exhaled, answering her rhetorical question.

"-and I sometimes think I'm the smartest pony around but that's me being arrogant arroganty-pants and I don't like being arrogant and Twilight seems to be smart too - have you met Twilight?"

"Yes..." The Doctor answered in the same exhausted tone. Somehow, his head managed to ache after just a couple of minutes spent with Pinkie. (I didn't even count the exact amount of minutes... Hey, if you were to meet Pinkie Pie, you would understand me! - T.L.)

"-and I wonder what a Time Lord is doing here in Equestria?" She cheerfully finished, rasing a brow and pressing her face into the Doctor suspiciously.

"Um... What?" The cornered Time Lord managed to squeak, not unlike Fluttershy. However, after he realised what the pink party pony had said, his pupils widened in shock.

"How..." he said even more quietly.

"Okie dokie lokie, you can answer later if you want-" Pinkie said, ready to dive into the sea of innocent twaddle but was pretty rudely interrupted by The Doctor's hoof pressing against her mouth.

The brown pony suddenly became very frightened and grave serious. He almost pushed Pinkie into the wall, lowering his head to her ear.

"Pinkie. This is a serious matter. How do you know about me?" He asked, trying to be friendly and assertive at the same time. (And failing miserably, if I may add - T.L.)

"Bfr I cn answr y mst lt m spk," Pinkie tried to say, with the brown hoof still being pressed against her mouth.

"Oh," The Doctor guiltily took his hoof from the pink pony's face.

Pinkie smiled again, as if nothing had happened.

"It's called 'Pinkie sense', dummy! You are such a big Time Lord and still haven't learned about it?" She raised her brow questioningly.

"We all have much to learn..." The brown pony mumbled in embarassment.

"I know quite a bit, you know?" Pinkie winked at him. "Time Lords, humans..."

"HUMANS?" The Doctor interrupted her. (I know, I interrupt ponies quite a lot... I wonder if my special talent involves interrupting... *Looks at his cutie mark* ...or not... - T.L.)

"Yes, humans! You know, these creatures that walk on two legs and have fingers and-"

"I know, Pinkie," the Time Lord prevented the self-proclaimed 'undergraduate baker' from developing her... speech further.

"Oh, great! I thought only Lyra and me knew about them!" The cheerful pink mare seemed to not have noticed the brown pony's exhaustion. "But sometimes I think Gummy knows too because he always listens to us when we discuss them - I mean humans - so what do you want to talk to me about, Doctor?" She asked at last.

The brown pony exhaled. He didn't want to lose a second of that precious break so he quickly explained the matter to Pinkie:

"See, Pinkie, you are one of the Elements of Harmony... Laughter, to be exact. The other five are your acquaintances: Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack... and Twilight..." The Doctor internally shivered at the thought of letting that unicorn save the world. "You need to save Equestria from some... how to put this nicely... 'Ancient Evil' and-"

"Nightmare Moon?" Pinkie asked, smiling broadly.

"How did you... Don't tell me you travel through Time, too!" The Doctor staggered back at such a thought.

Pinkie vigourously shook her head.

"No, dummy, of course not! I'm not a Time Lord - you are a Time Lord, remember? It's the prophecy! 'The Stars Will Aid Her Escape', you know?" She blurted out without pauses.

Seems like it is her natural manner of speaking... The Time Lord thought.

"Well, I may have heard about it," he said carefully. "So you know the basics, right?"

Pinkie nodded. Then, a bulb lighted above her head. (Literally, mind you! *Literally!** I still don't know how she does it... did it. I miss her. I miss them all. - T.L.*)

"Maybe we should go to the kitchen to discuss it?" She suggested. "I'm baking cupcakes and some cookies and pie - Oh, Soarin's coming tomorrow and he looooves pie and I need to make another one because he'll probably want another one because he always wants another one and-"

The Doctor smiled and followed Pinkie to the kitchen.

***

"-And that's how I got my cutie mark!" Pinkie cheerfully yelled, making the exhausted brown earth pony let his head hit the table.

"Pinkie..." He whispered, barely able to speak. "That's the story of how Equestria was made..."

Pinkie put a hoof to her chin, rubbing it.

"No, dummy!" She grinned. "That's how I got my cutie mark! As for how Eqestria was made... You see, I was a filly working at a rock farm..."

The Doctor groaned into his hooves before interrupting Pinkie for the umpteenth time that day.

"Pinkie... I've just told you the whole story of Nightmare Moon, the Elements and what you six will have to do to defeat her... and managed to do it in five minutes! Five minutes and 8.54 seconds, to be exact!" He tried to reason the talkative mare.

"And I have just told you the story of how I got my cutie mark and managed to do so in... let me see... two hours! Two hours, fourteen minutes and 54.76 seconds, to be exact!" She replied, not dropping her cheerful smile.

"Very funny... Wait... Hey, it is the exact time! How do you do it, after all?" The Time Lord asked, astonished by the pink pony's abilities.

She opened her mouth (and believe me, it was the first time I've really looked forward to it! - T.L.) when a loud knock coming from the direction of the door interrupted her. Pinkie bit her tongue and ran off to open the door.

The Doctor groaned in frustration. That's better not be Twilight... He thought.

"Hi, Twilight!" A cheerful voice near the entrance confirmed the brown pony's suspicions.

The Doctor rose from his seat, moved through the doorway and came up to the lavender unicorn, who was shining with a visible feeling of completeness.

She almost hugged the brown pony, steaming with excitement.

"That's it, Doctor! We finally managed to bring the Elements together!" She jumped up and down around the poor Time Lord, as if he hadn't had enough loud action for the day.

"Now, Twilight." The Doctor mobilized the last drops of energy he had and marched straight into battle. "I would be very glad to hear that another time but now I'm pretty tired..."

The librarian was wise enough to stop and nod in understanding.

"...so could you show me the way to Canterlot? Please..." The Time Lord sighed, still not fully believing he would fall so low as to plead the cruel unicorn, who, as he had clearly decided by that time, was a troll. (In the human meaning of the word, mind you! - T.L.)

Pinkie suddenly (as always...) interrupted them with something The Doctor would remember for the rest of his life.

"Canterlot? It's that big city near the mountain! Why would Twilight need to show it to you? It's visible from any place in Equestria, dummy!"

The Time Lord slowly turned his head just to look straight into Twilight's eyes. He could swear he saw giggling fires dancing in her pupils.

"Twilight?" He managed to say.

The unicorn surpressed a giggle.

"You see, Doctor... If I had told you in the first place, you wouldn't have helped me with enlightening the Elements on the matter, so... well, that it," she concluded, sincerely trying not to laugh.

The Doctor's eye twitched.

"Not. Playing." He hissed and, with that, left Sugarcube Corner.

Twilight burst into laughter the same instant the brown earth pony closed the door.

Pinkie, however, had an unusual look of slight concern on her face.

"Twilight?" She began.

"Y-yes, Pinkie?" The unicorn was still trying to surpress laughter, but to no avail.

"Twitchy eye, Twilight. He's going to..."

Twilight stopped laughing, her eyes widening in fear.

"Celestia help us now..."

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"Throw him into a dungeon! No, banish him! No, throw him into a dungeon in the place I've banished him to!"

~~~

"You... A *thousand** years! I've been waiting for you for a thousand years and you still value Equestria's safety over our relationship!"*

~~~

Women... Why would I ever let my destiny's path cross with women?

***

Author's note.

You may wonder why there was no lyrical digression again. The answer's simple, really. While looking through this chapter I was thinking... Well, let the picture express my feelings, okay?

Yeah... And then i realised I was the one who *wrote** it...*

So... Please comment, anyway...

Peace.

The Traitor (Part 1)

Hello, my fellow reader. It is I, The Doctor. I hope you enjoyed the true story of Nightmare Moon and what part I had to play in it - no, was bound to play.

Now I am going to present you another story - the story I entitled 'The Traitor'. Before I let the Narrator begin, I would like to say a few words about war.

Be you a pacifist or a militarist, you cannot deny the fact that war takes many ponies' lives, at the same time breaking the future of their families and loved ones. I'm not going to be a preacher, trying to assure you that wars must not be thought, that war is always huge trouble, that it is bad etc, etc. You know it already.

Moreover, I know that wars exist and will exist. Being a Time Lord, I see the whole Time-Space continuum at once, and I know that awful and dirty wars are happening all around the Universe. What is worse, for me they are all happening at the same time. (Recurring puns for the win, huh?) I see the deaths of innocents - and I can't help them. Those wars are fixed in Time. They are history. And who am I to change history? And even if I wanted to and actually did, I would just create another parallel Universe, without changing anything, remember? What point in saving ponies' lifes when they die all the same?! ...But I'm wandering from the subject.

There are many types of war, from local ones to world wars with nuclear weapons destroying the whole cities. Now, I would like to show you a short period of a war you, of course, must know. The second Griffin War, as you ponies call it, or The second Holy Crusade, as the Griffins named it.

I will let the Narrator enlighten you with the details. And please, keep in mind that this will not be a story of war. It will be a story of how I affected it. How I was affected by it. How I participated in it, one may say. This is my story, and the story of one brave pony, whom I miss very much... Probably more than anypony else. He is labeled 'The Traitor' among all equines, both in the Empire and the Republic. I will show you the true role he played during that devastating conflict.

All my life, the pain in my heart have stopped me from retrieving those memories from the worn sack of my mind. Now I must confess.

That courageous pony not only got this story entitled in his honour, but also made me do something I had thought I would have never done. I wrote a song about him, the first song I have ever written and the last song I will ever write. Forgive me for bothering you, but I will put it here, right before the Narrator takes the lead.

The Traitor

Everything is silent.

Everypony's quiet.

Who can be so violent

To ruin this sacred night?

Through the war - with knive at hand,

Through the war - he goes unseen,

Through the war - that has no end,

He runs towards his King.

The traitor...

He arrived at last,

Like a ship to a shore.

All the guards have passed.

He went through the door...

He left his King in silence.

The King had swiftly ceased.

He was against his alliance,

But he killed the King for peace.

The traitor?

***

The small barrack was dark and dirty. Its metal walls were thin and rusty. The desert surrounding it was hot even at night, protecting the inhabitants of the weak building from desert snakes and other dangerous creatures. Ill wind was blowing through the desert, making the four ponies inside the barrack shiver - not from fear, but from a bad premonition.

A green earth pony, who was lying on a pile of hay in the corner, lazily raised his weary head. He was a fine stallion with quite a strong body and light green mane. His eyes were brown. His cutie mark resembled a four-leaf clover.

"Cap'n, what the hay? Seems like a good ol' Griffin patrol will be here t'morrow, eh?" He said, stretching his legs.

A muscular grey earth pony, who had a steely shield as his cutie mark, shook his head irritatingly.

"Private Leaf, how long will I have to listen to your superstitious mumbling? The scouts reported the Griffins to be miles away!" He replied angrily.

The green soldier closed his mouth that was ready for a witty reply.

The only room was dark, with only one candle lighted, whose flame trembled and seemed to be ready to die any instant. On another hay pile lay a black earth pony, whose look carried disdain and natural wit. His eyes were red; so was his mane. A flaming torch sat on his flank, and it seemed as though that cutie mark very much resembled his temperament. In the middle of the room, just near the grey stallion, who was addressed as the 'Captain', slept a young colt - a white earth pony with a feather as his cutie mark. His mane was cyan, his eyes were golden - they shined so bright that they could be visible even through his almost transparent eyelids.

"I'm with you here, Clover Leaf. Old Shieldy can't tell a superstition from a premonition. Need a dictionary, Shieldy?" The black earth pony asked, grinning widely.

The grey stallion gritted his teeth.

"You are forgetting yourself, Fire Coat. One does not address a captain in such a way! Apologise immediately or I will make you!" He hissed angrily.

The black pony, however, parried the verbal assault with ease.

"I am a volunteer, not a soldier, Captain Silver Shield. Mind it when you try to order me to do something. And what will you do if I don't apologise, Shieldy?" He grinned. "I'm aching for a good fight, and I'm not sure if I can avoid it..."

The green earth pony, who, as it was getting obvious, bore his name 'Clover Leaf' not for being lucky, stood between the two angry stallions, trying to reason them.

"C'mon, you two! We're stuck in this desert with each other, and we have to deal with it! Besides, you'll wake up and startle poor White Feather!"

At the mention of the white earth pony's name, Captain Silver Shield took a step back, lowering his head.

Fire Coat counted it as a victory. He huffed and raised his head in an impulse of arrogance.

"What do you two find in that white shadow of a pony? Private White Feather... Ha! He's a colt, not even a mature stallion!" The black pony said almost indulgently.

"Now you shut up!" Silver Shield and Clover Leaf shouted in unison, waking the young white stallion.

"Huh?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. "You gonna go to sleep or what?" And with that, fell asleep again instantly.

The black pony chuckled.

"But he is cute, I must admit," he said, fires of mockery dancing in his eyes.

Before either the grey captain or the green private could answer, the door of the barrack sweeped open and a figure of an earth pony appeared in the doorway. The moonlight fell on him, his brown coat and mane shining, his cutie mark, which resembled an hourglass, glowing. He wore a smile and looked completely harmless. Despite it, the captain took a step forth, taking up a gun.

The brown earth pony approached them, not afraid of the firing machine. On the other hoof, he was obviously interested in it. The stranger took the gun from the shocked captain so fast that the poor grey pony couldn't believe it had happened in the first place.

"Aha! Fantastic! So this device is used to simplify the process of holding it using the mouth, this trigger's to fire... Amazing!" The brown pony grinned, looking at the three shocked soldiers, then at the white stallion, who was still sleeping in the middle of the room.

Silence endured.

"By the way, the Griffins will be here tomorow. You were right, Clover Leaf," he said simply.

"Just how the hay do you know?" The green pony asked suspiciously.

"Mind reading," the brown earth pony said so honesty that all soldiers somehow believed him, still not fully understanding the concept.

"And... who are you?" Silver Shield asked, still in his defensive state.

The stranger smiled again.

"I'm The Doctor. And I am here to help you."

The three ponies reacted quite differently.

"A Doctor is always helpful," the captain mumbled under his breath.

Clover Leaf just shrugged.

Fire Coat chuckled, then sent a curious yet hating glare towards the Time Lord.

"Then welcome to Hell, Doctor!" The black pony said and then laughed sickly, almost maniacally, his laughter turning into fervent coughing, which ceased after tears began to stream from his eyes.

***

The morning came unexpectedly. The whole night was spent in ardent discussions about The Doctor, his identity and his special talent - Time control. After everything was explained, re-explained and then explained once more, the three soldiers came to terms with the existence of alien life and the fact that an alien was actually standing right before them, despite looking as a mere earth pony. (Practicing my Time Stop technique on White Feather was the heaviest proof, I presume. The captain was scared to death when the white stallion stopped moving or breathing! - T.L.) Hours passed; so passed the night.

That's why everypony was surprised when White Feather woke up with a loud yawn, looking at the ponies with sleepy eyes.

"You guys up already?" He asked, yawning again in a childish manner. Then, upon seeing The Doctor, his eyes went wide.

"Now who is that, Captain?" He asked, a bit frigtened, a bit shy, a bit surprised.

The three soldiers sighed in unison.

After a good hour of explaining, re-explaining and proof of The Doctor's abilities (The Captain was kind enough to let himself be my target - T.L.) the white pony simply decided to believe his older comrades and not question the stranger by any means.

Silence endured for a while.

The sun woke up suddenly; so did all the inhabitants of the desert. Scorpions were crawling across lifeless dunes, hiding their deadly weapons beneath the sands. Hares were jumping to and fro, looking around after every step, afraid to be devoured on such a fine day. And the day was fine indeed. It was unusually cool for a desert; so cool that even the desert manticores left their sand caves to hunt down their prey, only to lose track of joyful hares and remain hungry for the rest of the day. Yellow wolves, deadly assassins, concealed themselves in the ways only familiar to their tribe, to strike fast and kill with one blow. Desert eagles were hovering over the desert lazily, bathing in their superiority. They were the kings of the desert, able to see everything from above and remain hidden from the earth creatures all the time.

"So... The Griffins will be here today, eh?" Clover Leaf asked, turning to face The Doctor.

The Time Lord simply nodded.

"How many of them?" The Captain asked, jumping straight to business.

"Forty-two and two machines... I'm not sure how they're called," The brown earth pony replied, looking into Silver Shield's eyes. They were grey, even... dusty, and old, but very wise and caring. One could drown in the sea of wisdom and pain that was splashing its waves in the old captain's eyes.

But there was no fear in them.

"Then today we die," the grey stallion said simply, rising and walking towards the door, opening it. The sunlight immediately entered the lopsided building, making everypony except The Doctor and Fire Coat screw up their eyes.

"No you don't," the Time Lord said, trotting towards the captain and putting a comforting hoof on his shoulder. "I'm here to help you."

Silver Shield chuckled. "Help us fight half a hundred Griffins? You are not so tough, son."

"Only forty-two. Besides, I am a Time Lord," The Doctor replied with a small smile.

"Touche," a voice came from the corner of the room. The black stallion smiled as he said it, for the first time without disdain but with calm humility and a bit of curiosity. He rose from his place and came up to the two ponies, stepping through the doorway. "When do they arrive, Doctor?" He added.

"About... now!" The Doctor exclaimed, realising he had lost himself in the chatter and forgot to track the flow of time.

Silver Shield immediately took up his gun, tossing another one to Clover Leaf, who caught it as a professional juggler.

White Feather stood up, his legs trembling, and slowly took up a gun of his own.

To the deepest surprise of all other soldiers, Fire Coat silently approached the white stallion and gently fixed the gun so that it would lie on his shoulder lightly, not piercing into the skin. Then he took a strange machine which only barely resembled a gun and left the barrack.

As the five ponies walked across the desert towards the destination only Silver Shield and The Doctor knew, silence endured among them.

Silver Shield's steps were firm and solid, his head high.

Clover Leaf kept checking his gun.

White Feather looked down, shivering, as if he had a severe fever.

Fire Coat walked gracefully, but his thoughts seemed to be concealed in a thick haze.

The Doctor approached the black stallion, gently tapping him with a hoof.

"Say, Fire Coat, how long have you four been here?" He asked.

The black earth pony chuckled.

"Me, Shieldy and Clover have been here for seven years or so..." He began, while The Doctor's eyes widened in surprise. "...White Feather is a newbie - arrived here last week. Never held a gun before, that poor colt... They sent him here the same instant he turned eighteen, right from his birthday party... Just took the lad from his farm - never let him say goodbye to his kin..." He shook his head. "O tempora, o mores!" He finished with a disappointed sigh.

"You speak Latin?" The Doctor asked, surprised by the fact the soldiers spent entire seven years in that barrack, but even more by meeting a pony of that epoch who spoke Latin.

"Certis temporibus," Fire Colt nodded, smiling.

They continued walking in silence.

"Fire Coat..." The Time Lord began once more.

The black stallion silently turned his head in The Doctor's direction.

"You seem to have a strange gun - it's different from the others. May I take a look?" The brown pony asked.

Fire Coat shook his head.

"After the battle, Doctor. It's too hard to take the damned thing off. My invention - even if things get... shaky, the gun won't fall to the ground," he smiled with pride.

The Doctor approvingly nodded.

"Say, why do earth ponies carry guns anyway? Wouldn't it be easier for unicorns to operate such machines? I remember that during the first Civil War-" He began, but was cut short by the red-maned pony.

"-Hey, hold your horses, Doctor. I know you've seen things but nowadays unicorns don't fight. They sit in their cosy chairs, sipping wine and reading books while we earth ponies slave for them, fight for them and die for them," Fire Coat gritted through his teeth.

The Time Lord thought it to be a delicate matter so he decided not to press further yet.

After what seemed like an eternity (fifteen minutes and thirty-four seconds, in fact - T.L.), they saw shadows approaching from the invisible horizon of the desert. Nopony could see for sure, but they all knew: those were the Griffins. The shadows stopped in the distance, obviously preparing for the combat.

White Feather gulped.

Clover Leaf checked his gun once more.

Silver Shield shrugged.

Fire Coat grinned. "You wanted to see how this device works, Doctor? Now you have the opportunity," he said, before galloping towards the shadowy silhouettes.

The captain sighed. "A volunteer... Never listens to orders... EN GARDE!" He finally roared before leading his insignificant detachment towards the armada of Griffins.

The Doctor followed them, his face bland, expressionless.

***

Author's note.

Wow. The chapter took so long to write... Please comment if you like the new arc and comment even more if you don't. Criticism is always appreciated. But you already know that, right?

One more thing. I *never** do this but for the ease of reading, I'm presenting the 'colour-name' chart of all four soldiers. Now you will never confuse them.*

Black coat, Red mane, Red eyes, Flaming torch for a cutie mark - Volunteer Fire Coat

Grey coat, Grey mane, Grey eyes, Shield for a cutie mark - Captain Silver Shield

Green coat, Light green mane, Brown eyes, Four-leaf clover for a cutie mark - Private Clover Leaf

White Coat, Cyan mane, Golden eyes, Feather for a cutie mark - Private White Feather

That should be it... Whew! And remember, kids - don't get lazy when creating names for your protagonists, like I did.

Please comment - your comments make my heart beat with excitement and my hooves... Erm... hands type twice as fast.

Now that I think about it, that author's note was *huge*. Well, a huge note for a huge chapter, then!

Peace.

The Traitor (Part 2)

The Griffins' attack was ferocious. Those bloodthirsty creatures emitted a deafening roar and rushed towards the small detachment of ponies. Silver Shield fired his gun, killing two griffins in a row, their bodies falling on each other, their blood soaking the sand. The Griffins used white weapons, instead of guns, and that was their weakness. But there were many of them.

Clover Leaf smoothly ran through the horde of griffins, not harming a single one but also somehow avoiding getting hurt. He directed the flow of his bullets towards the turrels, which the Griffins have been employing for generations. The machines seemed to have escaped any breakages, but the Griffins near them died a horrible death, taking bullets in the knees, falling to the ground, only to be finished by desert eagles a few moments later.

White Feather shivered. His legs felt numb, and his whole body semmed to have completely frozen. From a decent distance, a griffin armed with a steel sword ran towards him. The creature's eyes were filled with blood - the white pony could see it. It desired to bring death to all equines, and White Feather couldn't stop it. He couldn't lift his gun. Not because of physical restrictions, but due to mental stupor. The griffin drew closer. White Feather could feel its hot breath, smell its foul breath, see its feathers as they stood erect as a natural shield, ready to lessen the damage from an expected bullet.

But the bullet never came. White Feather closed his eyes, ready to meet his end. Ponies say that before death, all your life flies before your eyes. For the white private, it didn't. He couldn't remeber any significant moments in his life. Born an earth pony, he always had to suffer from the rules of the ludicrous Equestrian class system. School, friends, first love, first kiss... All of those moments didn't appear before his closed eyes. Only one memory managed to wriggle through his closed eyelids, and not an old one: Fire Coat putting a comforting hoof on his shoulder, fixing the gun attached to it. The white pony decided to value that memory for the seconds he still had by meeting death face to face.

One could imagine his surprise when he opened his eyes only to see Fire Coat standing before him, pushing him back and pulling a trigger on his gun-like device. The griffin's eyes widened when it realised it was paralysed by a powerful magnetic wave coming from the black pony's device.

The Doctor didn't lose time, too. He closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and made his cutie mark glow with transparent green colour. Suddenly, the movement among the griffins' ranks stopped. They froze in place, affected by the Time Lord's spell.

The ponies froze as well, not from the spell but from amazement.

Clover Leaf came up to one of the griffins, touching it with a hoof. "How in Equestria..." He whispered right before The Doctor shouted: "What are you waiting for? I can't hold them for long!"

The old soldiers swiftly wiped out the immoblized griffins. When Captain Silver Shield reached the last enemy, he felt a hoof touching his back. He looked round and saw Fire Coat nearby. The black pony wordlessly gestured the Captain to step back. After that, he took the still frozen in place White Feather by the hoof and brought him back to life by pulling the white pony to the griffin. "Now you kill him," he whispered.

White Feather shook his head. "I-I-I c-c-cannot... I cannot k-k-k..." He began hiccuping.

Clover Leaf gritted his teeth and hissed: "Leave him, Fire Coat. Stop toying around."

But the black pony had grave intentions. A familiar evil grin appeared on his face and he turned around to face his comrades. "He will kill this griffin. And if you try to stop me, I'll paralise you." With that, he tapped his 'gun' with a hoof, to show he was serious. Then he turned to the shaking white pony.

"Do it. Do it now, or, after the spell gets worn out, it will kill you. And I won't help you this time," he said, somehow keeping his tone calm and assertive.

"B-b-but I can't..." The white soldier began, sniffling.

"Do it. First, lift your gun," Fire Coat started instructing the young soldier.

And, as if the black stallion's words had magical power of supreme assertiveness, White Feather lifted his gun.

"Point it to your enemy's face."

White Feather followed Fire Coat's instructions.

"And pull that trigger," the black soldier concluded, watching at the white pony attentively, waiting for reaction.

White Feather started to pull the trigger with his teeth, closing his eyes automatically, but heard Fire Coat's voice again: "Open your eyes, White Feather. You need to see your enemy."

The white pony gulped and, opening his eyes, pulled the trigger. He was standing so close that the bullet ran through the griffin's head. The bullet was a tiny one; however, the griffin's head exploded, blood splashed on White Feather's coat. The beast collapsed on the sand the same instant The Doctor opened his eyes and stopped the spell.

The griffin looked right into White Feather's eyes, its lips moving silently, It was clearly trying to say something but never managed to. Only now White Feather realised it was 'he', not 'it' - a young soldier like him, obviously recruited a few weeks before. The griffin's eyes closed, and he let out his last breath.

The Doctor breathed heavily, not sure how to react.

Captain Silver Shield shook his head.

Clover Leaf sighed in exhaustion.

Fire Coat took a step forth, looking first at the freshly killed griffin, then at White Feather, who by that time turned completely pale. "Clean kill, son," he said before turning around and walking away through the desert.

White Feather fainted.

***

The sun had already set when White Feather came to his senses. He raised his head, but then suddenly felt unbearable pain in his skull and lay his head down again with a silent groan.

When the white soldier managed to open his eyes, he saw a brown earth pony sitting nearby, holding a hoof to his chin.

"Must be tough for you, White Feather," the brown pony said. "I know - I've been tracking your thoughts and feelings all the time and I can say those were by no means pleasant ones," The Doctor continued as he stood up.

"How could I... How could I have killed a living being..." The white soldier asked nopony in particular, although it sounded more like a statement.

It seemed that Clover Leaf had heard that desperate whisper because he approached White Feather, gifting the white pony with an assuring smile.

"That's war, White Feather. You kill - or you get killed. Your choice. Right, Cap'n?" The green pony turned his head towards Silver Shield.

The Captain was lying on a pile of hay in the corner of the room, looking at his hooves. "Yes, Private Leaf..." He said obscurely, before raising his voice. "Yes, son." He addressed White Feather directly now. "To be a soldier, you must kill. That's life, son," he finished firmly.

White Feather sighed. No one was on his side... Even The Doctor trotted to the corner of the barrack, leaving him alone in the middle of the room. Alone, broken, damaged...

"So how does it feel, White Feather? See blood on your hooves?" Fire Coat suddenly asked, grinning from another corner of the room. The candle's fire lighted his coat, making it shine with all shades of red.

White Feather felt a lump in his throat, his eyes becoming teary.

"Why, Fire Coat? Why do you do this? I don't want to talk about it..." He said, ready to burst into tears.

"Look at your hooves attentively, White Feather. The blood on them will never vanish, no matter how hard you try. It will always remain." Fire Coat's voice was cold but one could sense a hint of empathy in it.

White Feather couldn't hold his tears anymore. He fell on the ground, shaking in hysteria. Clover leaf ran up to him, gently stroking his back while glaring at Fire Coat.

The captain rose from his place, gritting his teeth. Anger danced in his eyes, ready to break free any second.

"Fire Coat," he began, trying to hold the unbearable urge to shout. "Volunteer or not, you will leave this place immediately or, I swear on my life, I will kill you exactly where you stand."

The fire-maned pony rose from his place and trotted towards the exit, not looking at anypony, but holding his head high nevertheless.

After he left, The Doctor rose as well and slowly walked through the doorway. Nopony stopped him.

The night was silent. The creatures of the desert were either sleeping or preparing themselves for another day of constant survival.

Just like us, Fire Coat thought.

"But you have a goal, don't you?"

An answer to his thoughts came from behind, as The Doctor approached the black soldier.

"I forgot you read ponies' minds, Doctor. Here to teach me a lesson?" Fire Coat asked, smiling and looking up to the sky.

The Time Lord repeated that gesture.

The sky was indeed beautiful. Stars were shining, bringing their divine light over all living beings. The moon was slighly grey, with silver interludes covering it near the center. Meteor showers were unusual at that time of year, but one appeared to happen just that night. Small shiny dots were falling from the sky, following their ususal parabolic route.

So the Princesses are still alive, The Doctor thought.

"No, I'm not here to teach you or anything of the kind. I contemplate and never interfere," he said with a melancholic note in his tone.

Silence endured.

"The poor colt doesn't quite understand the situation, Doctor. We are stuck here forever. This war is to be fought for generations," the black soldier decided to break the silent wall separating them.

The Doctor resolved not to speak but simply listen to Fire Wall instead.

"This war brings profit... but not to us, Doctor." The black pony formed a bitter smile. "Cui bono, Doctor? Cui bono? I'll tell you: the royalist unicorns. This war is not fought for King and Country. It is a war for the redivision of the world.. and oil. Rich unicorn will kill millions of innocents just to get their piece of that cake... Spending souls for oil is a crime, Doctor." His smile faded. "In that case, the Griffins' royalty and our unicorns are alike. Why should we fight for them? Why should your blood soak this sand?" Fire Coat was getting more and more excited, his forehead quickly becoming sweaty. "Why don't we turn our weapons against our own oligarchy?! Celestia's not the ruler of this country anymore - money is. She can't act without permission of our oligarchy - the true kings and queens of our land. And the worst thing..." He lowered his head. "The worst thing is that in the Lunar Republic it's all the same..."

The Doctor noticed a tear fall from the black pony's face and disappear in the sand, which was still hot.

"But aren't you a volunteer?" The Time Lord carefully asked, only to see Fire Coat raise his head with a half-evil, half-mad grin on his face.

"Do you know why am I a volunteer, Doctor?" His voice dropped to a whisper. "Come on, read my thoughts, I'm not going to say it out loud."

The Doctor's cutie mark glowed and his face expression changed from curiousity, to shock, to understandment. The brown pony put a hoof on Fire Coat's back. "It will all remain between us two," the Time Lord assured the black soldier.

"Thank you, Doctor. But I'm going to do it anyway, shall you tell it to Shieldy or not. I've already decided my future." A sad smile appeared on Fire Coat's face. The Doctor noticed that the black pony's face was beautiful in the moonlight. Beautiful, but old. Old, but not worn out. His flaming eyes still held a shadow of young vigour. Vigour, but not hope.

"I'm going for a walk. Alone," the fire-maned pony said. "Electa una via, non datur recursus ad alteram." With that, Fire Coat slowly but steadily walked off, to the depths of the desert, disappearing in the night.

***

Author's note.

I don't know why but this chapter seems a bit rushed, to me... Anyway, if you have any suggestions that may lead to my improvent as a writer, feel free to express them.

Also, those who get the obvious TES reference will get an imaginary cupcake.

Peace.

The Traitor (Part 3)

Screech... Screech...

The Doctor awoke with a start. He looked around and guided his ear towards the door. Silence. He sighed and lay back on the pile of hay. TARDIS... He thought. I so hoped it would be you...

The night was by no means pleasant. It was one of those nights when you try to sleep and actually want to sleep but simply can't. A cascade of thoughts occupies your head and, as soon as your mind castle is sieged, you surrender and just lie, looking at the ceiling. Your head hurts, your face is bland and pleading - but the relief never comes. It is like a fortuitous migraine - but there is no cure.

The Doctor envied those soldiers. Clover Leaf sleeped silently, with a blissful expression on his face. The Time Lord could have delved into the green pony's dreams but he didn't feel like reading thoughts that night. Silver Shield slept heavily, snorting and breathing heavily. White Feather smiled in his sleep, trying to hug some invisible pony in front of him. Dreams of his mother, I presume, the brown pony said to himself. Fire Coat didn't move in his sleep, his breath flowed normally. A dreamless sleep, the healthiest type, The Doctor cocluded.

Screech... Screech...

The Doctor jumped up and quickly looked around, trying to see whether he had woken up anypony. Fortunately, the four soldiers remained asleep. The Time Lord stepped carefully, silently moving to the door, opened it and stepped outside.

The first thing that met him was a gust of vernal wind - something he never expected to feel in the middle of a desert. One could call it a soft breeze, though to The Doctor it seemed like a heavy stream of cool air, healing his hurting head and soothing his mental wounds. He closed his eyes, bathing in the wind. It was like a sudden shower in the middle of a hot summer afternoon - unexpected, yet desired.

Screech... Screech...

TARDIS! A thought struck The Doctor's brain, and he opened his eyes, trying to locate the source of the sound.

Screech... Screech...

The brown pony stopped in his tracks. It seemed as though the source of the sound was moving - no, not only moving but getting closer! The Doctor tried to strain his eyes to the limit but still couldn't see a thing. The sands looked cold and dead - the symbol of the lost generation. An everchanging grave, where the ancestors and the descendants shared their last bed. A field of buried tears and drops of blood, of shattered hopes and broken dreams.

Screech... Screech...

The sound made The Doctor snap out of his philosophical speculations, only to see a shadow slowly moving up to him from the horizon. The Time Lord decided to take a mild defensive stance, not waking the sleeping warriors but not approaching the strange figure either.

Screech... Screech...

The tension was building slowly but steadily.

Screech... Screech...

After The Doctor screwed up his eyes, he could see the figure resembled a pony. However, he decided to keep in his place.

Screech... Screech...

The pony was a unicorn - it could be clearly seen from the distance that kept shortening with each passing second.

Screech... Screech...

Now The Doctor could see exactly what was making that noice: a machine that resembled a gun was attached to the pony's shoulder, lifelessly hanging and scratching the sand with its steely muzzle.

Screech...

The sound stopped, as now the unicorn was standing before the Time Lord. In the moonlight, The Doctor managed to see the stanger fairly well. His coat was dark red, and his mane purple. His lavender eyes were dull and exhausted. The brown pony could read so much pain in them, but there was also a grain of natural wit and wisdow, though the pony seemed relatively young.

Anypony is young, compared to me, The Doctor bitterly thought, before looking at the unicorn's cutie mark, only to gasp in surprise.

On the stranger's flank sat a crossed sword and quill. The words from a book the Time Lord remembered very well appeared in his mind: The dualism of the Revolution is the dualism of equine nature. [...] We destroy our enemies with might, and deal with our allies with wisdom. The Doctor held his breath. Could it be... Sword and quill... Might and wisdom... Red coat... Purple mane... A unicorn... *Corl Marex...** Corl Marex himself is standing before my eyes!* The brown pony's eyes lit with passion. He had so much to ask - he finally had the chance to get the answers from the father of the Great Equestrian Revolution in person!

Suddenly, the brown pony noticed the unicorn's lips were moving. They were dry, and the sound was very, very quiet. The Doctor took a step forth to hear better.

"Water... Please..." The father of the Great Equestrian Revolution said before collapsing on the warm sand.

***

"So you're telling me you're a volunteer? Volunteer Corl Marex? From the Lunar Republic?" The Captain asked the unicorn, rubbing his chin with a hoof. Despite it being early in the morning, all the soldiers and The Doctor formed a circle around the newcomer, who had recently come to his senses and now was sitting, not satisfied, but not uncomfortable, with all the attention he was getting.

"Yes, for the tenth time, yes!" The unicorn exclaimed impatiently. "There were five of us, the Republic sent us to aid the group of Someone Shield - now I understand it's you-" he addressed the Captain, who nodded, a hint of suspicion still not leaving his eyes. "-and then the griffins attacked. I'm the only survivor, thanks to this horn of mine." He touched his horn, stroking it gently. Fire Coat knitted his brow. "And then I had been walking for hours till I met The Doctor," Marex smiled, grateful to the Time Lord. "And now you're telling me you believe that The Doctor is an alien Time Lord and don't believe me? No offence, Doctor, I believe you... Don't know how, but somehow I trust you," he smiled again, looking at his saviour.

"No offence taken," the Time Lord replied with a smile of his own. They managed to share only a short conversation, most of which was consumed by explaining and re-explaining who was who. However, The Doctor expected to dive in the deep sea of political discussions later.

The Captain frowned. "Still, I'm not sure... What if you're a spy of the Republic? Working for LR-6, huh?" He asked, moving his face closer to Marex, looking in the unicorn's eyes. He still gave credit to Marex for meeting his gaze with a fearless and self-assured smile.

"I believe him," White Feather whispered, looking at his hooves. The poor colt still hadn't recovered from the events of the previous day.

"I do as well," The Doctor said, standing erect.

Silver Shield raised a brow.

"I saw his past and future and I can assure you, Captain, that in none of all the parallel Universes is he a spy." The Doctor's voice was firm and confident, making all the ponies in the room believe him at once.

"If you say so, Doctor..." Silver Shield mumbled.

"Then welcome to Hell, unicorn," Fire Coat said, grinning at Marex.

"This war is Hell indeed, Fire Coat." The red unicorn didn't seem to have noticed the mockery. "But is it the worst of hells? Maybe the struggle between ponies... and races..." At this point, the black fire-maned pony sat up, noticing the strange emphasis that mystically resembled his own ideas. "...is worse than war between different countries? Isn't any war a crime, in fact?" Corl Marex asked nopony in particular but Fire Coat somehow felt the question was directed to him.

"True..." the black earth pony whispered so silently that nopony could hear him except The Doctor and the red pony, who continued his tirade nevertheless.

"But what is a crime? How can we determine the meaning of 'crime' when our law isn't flawless? I'm talking both about the Empire and the Republic, Captain," he said, sending a look to Silver Shield. "Nullum crimen sine lege!" He chuckled, lowering his head in misery.

"Ubi culpa est, ibi poena subesse debet. And the requital will come, Corl Marex," Fire Coat said, looking straight into the purple-maned unicorn's lavender eyes, calling him by the name for the first time.

"You speak Latin?" Marex asked, raising a brow. "I thought I was the only one who did... I mean, at these dark times... Where did you learn it, if I may ask?"

"Ex libris, Corl Marex. Ex libris," the black stallion replied, smiling. Now the smile didn't carry disdain or fastidiousness. It was a friendly and warm smile, addressed only to the red unicorn.

Marex nodded in understanding.

"I guess it's good to have a chatter and all, but we have work to do!" Silver Shield barked. "You're lucky I'm too liberal to voluntary miss what you say about our rulers..." He grumbled as he left the barrack to get some water.

As soon as the grey stallion left, the discussion continued. In fact, to The Doctor, it seemed more of a monologue from Corl Marex, sometimes interrupted with questions. The red unicorn's eyes lit with passion and inspiration, his hoof was making assuring gestures as he spoke firmly, confidently, with a self-dependant, but by no means arrogant, smile. The Doctor felt lost in the stream of words, words of truth mixed with almost invisible seeds of mild propaganda - the main weapon of any good orator.

"...And thus we see that both parties are fighting for oil, not for their 'homeland', as they pose it. And what profit does it bring us, common ponies? None, I say! The oligarchy is abusing the working class simply because they have power. But we have more power! What can even the strongest unicorn magic do against millions of angry armed earth ponies? Nothing, I say!" Marex's lavender eyes were shining with flames of justice as he continued his speech.

Hm... He is involved in the discussion but never lets himself get too uncontrollable... The Doctor thought, mentally nodding to himself.

"But sir..." A soft whisper came from the corner of the room. White Feather looked embarassed but continued nevertheless. "But sir... Aren't you yourself... a unicorn?" He asked, rasing his voice a little, but still looking at his hooves.

"Yeah, mister. Ain't you one of them unicorns you're telling us to fight against?" Clover Leaf asked with a slight grin.

Fire Coat silently raised a brow, curious as to how the orator would answer such a tricky question.

Corl Marex simply chuckled, seeming not to have been confused at all.

"I may be a unicorn but I have never been an adherent of oligarchy. You are confusing the race and the class system here, my young friend," he addressed White Feather, not noticing (or not wanting to notice - T.L.) the green soldier's remark.

"Huh?" The white pony asked in lack of understanding.

"You see, there are three races - unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies. Throughout the whole history of Equestria..." Marex began his explanation.

At this point, the Time Lord decided to take a nap, pretending to be listening. He had heard that lecture before - no, he had read it. Right in the book Marex had written - no, would write!

Sweet miriads of soothing thoughts occupied The Doctor's head, and he gave himself up to the much needed sleep that he managed to miss the night before.

***

Author's note.

As I'm getting lazier, the chapters are getting shorter... Nah, just my imagination.

Peace.

Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of approaching Armageddon!

Another chapter, another interlude. Now we are going to discuss some serious business and, I hope, help you realise the importance of your insignificance.

I'm not trying to make contradictions, am I? If you have been an attentive reader (and I hope you have), you must have noticed that the point of my philosophy - and thus, the philosophy of Time - is that since you aren't able to make a change, there is no point in your life. I suggested that one should find the meaning of life in life itself - work to work, create to create, live to live.

But how exactly should one live? It is a question that may be either ridiculuously simple or frustratingly complicated, depending on the degree to which you want to live your life.

Most ponies lead simple lives - they work, eat and sleep. Sometimes they make families. Then foals are born. The parents are happy up to the moment their descendants leave them to lead similar lives. The parents die, contributing to the ever-changing cycle of life in Equestria.

But you know that, right? Because you are probably one of those ponies.

Sometimes ponies tend to live a lie, by becoming famous scientists, artists or warriors. They think they can find excitement in life - in fact, they only pointlessly try to create it. Most ponies die without knowing they were wrong.

Ignorance is bliss, eh?

Some ponies try to lie to themselves by finding that last frontier where they finally can be free.

And what does it mean - to be free? Do they really desire freedom? Or they just hope freedom will give them the so much desired excitement and satisfaction they cannot get?

The frontiers... The frontier between towns and countries, Time and Space, Energy and Matter...

They live a lie, too. I know better - I've been through those frontiers. There are seventeen of them, and I've been through sixteen. The last frontier is a mystery.

When I got so tired from my everlasting life, I guided TARDIS to the last frontier, which name is long forgotten - or maybe not invented? And that's why now I'm here.

I'm nowhere, in fact. Nothing. Void. Nihil. I don't exist - yet somehow I write this. I crossed the last frontier...

But we shall return to our topic. But how can I *not** live a lie, then?* You may ask.

The answer is simple, really.

There is no such way.

You will never get the needed satisfaction and excitement. Ponies created their sea of entertainment so that they could get lost in it, forgetting about life.

Now, if you excuse my unsteady stream of conciousness, I will warn you: the worst thing is to spend your whole life waiting to live.

Unfortunately, that's the way both of the smartest, who understand their insignificance and inability to make a change, and the ignorant, who simply believe that life will somehow open itself to them.

That's what they do: they wait. They bide their time in the blind desire to achieve something without acting.

But life always ends abruptly. As my friend Bulgakov once said, Yes, man is mortal, but that would be only half the trouble. The worst of it is that he's sometimes unexpectedly mortal - there's the trick! The same can be said about ponies.

Now better show it than tell it, right? I won't bother the Narrator this time, for my story will be short.

***

Imagine a bright, cheerful, sunny morning in the middle of summer. Equestria blossoms. The struggles between the New Lunar Republic and the Pegasus Kingdom have recently ceased, and ponies celebrate such a nice day by going out.

Friends and couples are lying on the grass, smiling and exchanging glances. Some are chewing on a fresh daisy sandwich or golden hay fries, some are watching the birds, some are playing the games of their own creation. The eternal night is gone. The struggles have gone. The era of dark conflicts and misery has ended. The era of prosperity and freedom has just begun.

And then it all ends. It ends with a flash - no, a bare shadow of a flash. No magical spells were needed. No bombs or weapons were needed. What was needed to destroy the whole planet at once? One failed test from planet 9504. One failed test of a highly nuclear glass cleaner. A mere glass cleaner, albeit an alien one, destroys the whole planet of Equestria, wiping out over 90% of its population.

And no, there is no 'cool zombies' and 'amazingly fearsome radiation' and 'hayloads of adventure', as you may wonder. This is not a book of Fallout: Equestria. This is life.

Those who you would call 'mutants' are just sick ponies, unable to live but also unable to die. Those who magically managed to remain alive hide in caves, like primeval equines, afraid to be eaten by monsters. But there are no monsters, for the failed test from planet 9504 destroyed them as well. I've seen it many times. A flash - and it all ends. I pity them. I pity them all.

But I can't help them. That was an event firmly fixed in Time. The scientist was, is and always will be pressing the button that will unleash a wave of radiation that was responsible for destroying thousands of planets.

Why am I telling you this? Because I have talked to those refugees. And you know what?

Most of them were waiting to begin 'real life', as they posed it. Fillies who expected their first loves. Young stallions who expected to contribute to the military of their homeland. Mares waiting for fame and stallions waiting for fortune. Novice artists waiting for their talent to unleash and make them write, draw, compose - create!

Marines who lost their sea. Pilots who lost their sky. Adventurers who lost their world, and with it the point of life. Teachers and librarians who commited mass suicide at the thought that all knowlege of their world was gone with the books. Farmers who spent countless hours weeping over their lost crops and tremendous fields.

Magicians whose magic was disabled because of the radiation. Parents whose children died in pain, alone and forgotten, crying and calling for their mommies and daddies who never came. A death from radiation is a horrible death.

Barrens.

The violated lands, clinging to what was spared by the merciless and mindless radiation.

Dirt, dust, stones and sand. That was the world ponies had to live in. They lived, but never accepted it. Fortunately, not for long. They would all die within a hundred years.

Their hopes and dreams became crushed by the overwhelming tidal wave of shattered reality.

They were waiting to live their lives - but they never managed to begin. They all died from harsh weather, famine and viruses that awoke due to the radiation fallout.

That's how Equestria ended. That's how everything ended. I've seen it so many times...

You know, I've seen many things. I've seen children shattered into pieces via ancient devices of torture. I've seen innocents burned alive at the stake because of their beliefs. I've seen whole civiliztions die during endless and merciless wars. I got used to it, eventually. When you get used to it, it becomes easier to bear. You may say that now I have a heart of stone. True - now I don't feel sorry, miserable or sad. I forgot those feelings long ago. But there is one memory that will haunt me forever, as it seems. It will sound ordinary to you but it is the worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

After the radiation fallout became rather harmless, ponies left their cages. They began to restore the lives they've lost - the lives they so wanted to reclaim. I knew that all their attempts were in vain. They would all die soon. But I never told them. 'Contemplate, never interfere', remember?

One day, I saw an earth pony pulling a carriage. His steps were slow and sloppy, his head hung low and he looked really miserable. I came up to him, helped him with the carriage, and we started to talk. He was a revolutionary once, fighting for freedom in the Solar Empire. Then he emigrated to the New Lunar Republic to go underground. He kept fighting against the Pegasus Kindgom. And then the Flash occured. He got separated from his son, his only child. His only hope left after the royalists had tortured and killed his wife. I felt very sorry for that stallion, for the first time in many years. Don't know why, really. I suppose there is such thing in the Universe as soulmates (not in the way you have just thought). Anyway, my pity for him was so strong that I decided to give him answers. I don't do it. I know common ponies must not know about what they're not supposed to know. But that time, I made a change in my life. I offered him to ask me anything - he knew I would know any answer.

Did he ask me about the future?

No.

Did he ask me about his son?

No.

Did he ask about how exactly his wife died?

No.

He asked me: What now, Doctor? What now? His blue eyes were dry but it could be clearly seen that he was crying. Silently weeping with no tears, with a stoic experssion on his face, an expression of those who had lived through such difficulties that they were privileged to say: 'My life was not in vain." But his was, and in that one question, the yell of that broken generation united, appealing to some miracle of justice. There's no justice. There is a cause, an event, and an inevitable repercussion. That's it. That's how the Universe works.

What now?

For the first time, I didn't know the answer. I couldn't answer. I stopped the Time, and I ran away. I ran far, far away, without stopping, my only companion being the forgotten feeling of tears streaming through my eyes. I never saw him again. He died, like the others, with the beam of the final Cataclysm. But I never forgot those dusty, dry, lifeless eyes. It seemed as though they themselves were asking me:

What now, Doctor? What now?

What now?..

***

I'm not going to give you any advice today. Who am I to judge? I even can't help myself draw a route out of my brain for the humiliating and confusing thought haunting my mind.

I'm confused. I'm embarassed. I'm clueless. But I still live. I still go on. You may agree or not - to give up isn't the worst option, contrary to what most ponies say. But I will live to live. That's my philosophy. That's the philosophy of Time. The God I worship and the Devil that kills me.

I will still search for the meaning of the meaningless Universe.

Because that's life. And that's how it goes.

The Traitor (Part 4)

Author's note.

Hey, who said I was done? Although I may be devoting a lot (as in *a lot*) of my free time to re-watching Monthy Py- ...I mean, writing 'Stealth', I (and my space fire monkeys) won't allow this story to go on hiatus! Especially now that Doctor Whooves is canon! I'm going to the pub to celebrate. En garde! I mean... Allons-y!

P.S. I used 'Silver' as a first name in *three** of my stories already. And I have just noticed that... Something's strange... Something's amiss...*

P.P.S. For those who don't approve of my word count: *Non annumero verba sed appendere - Cicero*

P.P.P.S. The one who finds and gets the reference gets an imaginary cookie and a space fire monkey. It can write stories and quote Shakespeare. It can also parody Reagan. Please, take it - I have too many... I just- *screech* *bang* *crush* Oh, my... I gotta go now!

***

"Doctor, you are arrested for anti-war propaganda. You will now be extradited to the Equestrian Empire in order to be tried by a military tribunal and receive the respective punishment," The griffin spoke in a firm voice, taking off his glasses and nonchalantly wiping them.

Again, not the most pleasant situation to start the day, eh? Nevertheless, that's exactly how it all began. No, of course my day started differently. That happened in the middle of an especially sunny afternoon. You really want to know the former events? Okay, I'll tell you - though they weren't half as interesting. As the sun rose above the desert...

***

As the sun rose above the desert, its inhabitants immediately started preparing themselves for a new day. Carnivores were checking their fangs and claws to be ready to kill swiftly and for sure, while other creatures were finding such shelters where they wouldn't be found and would be able to hide from the approaching heat.

The barrack was silent. A small desert hare leaped out of nowhere, sniffing the hot air, and slowly crawled towards the lone building. Just as he reached the door, it swung open, hitting the poor creature and sending him flying, and a white pony ran out of it, cheerfully yelling:

"My first reconnoitring! The first ever! I'm so excited! Maybe I'll be just like James Colt! Oh, I should have brought a bow tie! Do you have a bow tie, Fire Coat?" The white earth pony began bouncing around a black stallion, who had just left the barrack, stretching his forelegs, shaking his head, letting his mane fall down on his shoulders.

The black earth pony groaned and wearily looked in the direction of the vigourous youngster, lowering his head.

"It's six a.m., White Feather. Six bucking hours past midnight. And you're asking me about a bowtie?" He wondered, almost drifting to sleep immediately.

A brown earth pony left the barrack, looking calm, yet not sleepy. He leaned against the wall of the building, smiling at the two soldiers arguing. They've grown so close in the past few days... It's like White Feather forgot about his... deed... The Doctor (and that was totally me! - T.L. ) thought, his smile fading for a second at the remembrance. He shook his head and moved closer to the ponies.

"And now those hayheads are sleeping calmly, while you and I have to go on a mission!" Fire Coat groaned. "Why couldn't old Shieldy send Clover Leaf - or go himself!" He muttered, trying to get rid of the sleepy look on his face by constantly frowning.

The cyan-maned pony only jumped enthusiastically, while yelling at the top of his lungs (although the black stallion was near):

"But Fire Coat! The mission is so awesome! Can you imagine - we get to the enemy town, we-"

"White Feather, it's a common mission, which is repeated, like, every week. Nothing special," Fire Coat interrupted him by putting a hoof to the white mouth.

"Bt s m frst n!" White Feather mumbled through his teeth.

To avoid further development of the one of the usual pointless arguments, The Doctor came up to the two earth ponies, smiling with The Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM].

"Like father like son, Fire Coat?" He asked the red-maned pony mockingly, knowing very well it would make the older stallion embarrassed. And it did indeed. (Did - indeed! Get it? Hahahaha, it's hilarious... You ponies still find such puns funny, don't you? Ahem... Moving on! - your awesome Time Lord)

The black pony glared at the grinning Time Lord, shaking his head.

"You are one unbearable - sure, smart - but unbearable son of a-" He began, but immediately stopped upon looking at White Feather who blushed, not used to hearing swearing.

"-Mare. Son of a mare." Fire Coat finished, his face expression gradually softening.

"Tale quale," The Doctor replied, understanding very well that the black soldier's respect for him was huge - and so was his warm, almost fatherly, dedication to the young white stallion.

The black pony grumbled something indistinct and headed towards the middle of the desert. Noticing that he wasn't being followed, he turned round, raising his brow.

"White Feather, you coming or what?" He asked, trying to be strict - and failing miserably. It was as clear as noonday that he felt warm around the white stallion - actually, ex-colt - and was really proud to train him.

The cyan-maned pony shook his head.

"Um... No, Fire Coat. Remember - Marex wanted to accompany us?" He asked, gesticulating with a hoof.

The Doctor nodded. Yes, he needs to go there today... He thought to himself.

The black pony waved a hoof.

"Nah, he changed his mind after talking to The Doctor yesterday - said something about 'getting to know him', y'know?" He addressed the white soldier, who nodded.

The brown earth pony, on the contrary, paled. No, no, no! He *must** go!* He panicked, looking around.

"C'mon, White Feather! Who needs those unicorns? There are two of us - and two's an army!" The volunteer yelled, moving neither back nor forth.

"But... Fire Coat... We need a magic user - Silver Shield said it was impor-" The white pony began, to be roughly interrupted by the red-maned stallion.

"Silver Shield," he began mockingly. "Can go and bu-"

A loud cough left The Doctors mouth.

"-buck some apples. If there were any," Fire Coat finished less confidently. "Who needs magic anyway?" He asked nopony in particular. His face expressed concern and hesitation.

The Time Lord groaned at how everything was constantly changing. If only Corl Marex were obedient enough to play the role of a scout for a day - but no! He would refuse, changing the whole flow of history!

"W-we need magic, Fire Coat. Silver-" White Feather tried to reason his now-mentor again but stopped, seeing the look in his eyes at the mention of the commander's name.

"I'll go with you," The Doctor suddenly said.

The ponies both turned their heads towards the brown Time Lord.

"I can use magic, remember? I'll replace Marex," he continued, still not fully believing in what he was going to do. He was going to interfere. He had already interfered - due to his blind desire to see the father of Equestrian revolution, he messed with the Time-Space continuum, making the future political scientist stay at the barrack instead of going to the enemy town - all because of him, The Doctor! So he had to fix it somehow.

"I don't object..." White Feather mumbled, investigating his hooves.

Fire Coat looked at the brown pony. The look on his face extradited his curiosity.

"Are you sure about this? We're going to town - to a town full of Griffins," he said to the brown pony, waiting for the answer - no, hoping to get the desired answer.

"I'm sure - let's go!" The Time Lord said a bit too quickly, trotting towards Fire Coat, followed by White Feather, who was clearly happy to be in company of two mature stallions. The fear of being unprotected still lived deep in his heard. Such fears cannot just be tuckered away - they are either killed mercilessly or spared mercifully. One of the rules of life - nothing more, nothing less.

Fire Coat chuckled, shaking his head.

"Well, if you are so eager..."

The three ponies slowly walked through the desert, chatting, bathing in the warmth of the morning sun.

***

"And then I said - 'oh, sure, let's do it, baby!' And then she-" the white stallion talked and talked, not being embarrassed, fine with talking about mares at last, slightly boasting - the visible sign of growing up.

Fire Coat interrupted him with laughter.

"Oh, my young soldier, you must have found yourself in peril!" He exclaimed mockingly, parodying antique-Equestrian style. (You see, antique Equestria was much like medieval Earth - not that you know much about Earth, of course, but... Ahem, I'm drifting off again, right? Josh, carry on. - T.L.)

"Well, can't I have a bit of peril now and then?" White Feather asked in the same tone.

"No, it's unhealthy," the black soldier parried.

The brown earth pony coughed.

The soldiers looked at him questioningly.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your intelligent talk..." The Doctor began, making the white pony slightly blush. "...But I can clearly see a town on the horizon. Is it the one we're searching for? He wondered.

"Oh, right! There's it! Concardia!" White Feather exclaimed.

"Wait a minute..." The Time Lord muttered under his breath, when the sudden realisation struck him. "If this is Concardia, and it's twenty-three past eight in the morning, then..." He continued speculating.

"THE PATROL! RUN!" He yelled, but it was too late - out of nowhere, four muscular griffins appeared, wielding swords, leaded by a slightly smaller griffin, who, in addition, was wearing glasses.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" The Doctor gradually raised his voice from a whisper to a heart-wrenching cry. Fear enveloped both his mind and body, circumscribing his very subconsciousness.

The leader of the Griffins smiled.

"Oh, Doctor? It is a pleasure to see you here. Although, if I may pose it in such a manner, you were most... anticipated" He spoke softly and slowly, weighing each word.

"How..." The brown pony exhaled. No, this cannot be happening! How - how in the Universe could I fall for this... again! Such thoughts haunted him, bringing pain and unease to his soul.

"So you replaced Corl Marex, am I right? Ah, yes - I remember: you did... you will do the same in one of the parallel universes... Wait a minute... you totally do the same, for it is that parallel universe!" The griffin chuckled at his joke, not losing his refined, almost regal, state.

"I... I can explain! Please - you know I don't want to!" The Doctor fell on the ground, shivering and crying.

The two pony soldiers froze in place at the sight of such an unpredicted loss of the brown pony's composure.

"Do not worry, Doctor. We will not do it - not this day. Though our ideas be different, our current goal is the same," the griffin leader continued, putting emphasis on the word 'current'. "As for now..." He continued with a sigh. "Some formalities. You two. my good ponies, will reach your goal untouched. The disguise will be awaiting you in the place defined by your commander, Silver Shield," he said, not letting the ponies say a word.

Apple of Shyness (Part 1)

Author's note.

Okay, guys, here's the plan. Since I can't finish 'The Traitor' story arc now, I'll start another one and *then** finish the previous one. Why? Because I totally can. Also, check the story description: it's changed! For the better, I hope.*

For those of you who think: 'But Master, it's complicated! So many story arcs, so many interludes!' I can say:

Guys, as soon as I finish the whole story (Celestia knows how long will it take me), I'll unite each story arc, omitting the interludes and author's notes, and publish each story arc as one separate chapter. The same I will do with the interludes: toss them into one big chapter. That way, those of you who would like to read the story normally will get the opportunity to do so, as well as those who would like to read the whole story arc at once.

In fact, I *so** should be writing a fic for February Write Off now... Anyway!*

Comment, rate, love and tolerate!

Peace.

P.S. Yes, I like to be called 'Master'. Do call me Master, please. It pleases my ego.

P.P.S. The chapter is veeeeery short because it's an introduction with no lyrical digressions. I hope you'll understand.

P.P.P.S. Comment or be damned. That is all. Just kidding. Or not...

***

Hello. It's me, The Doctor. Remember when I said that I had almost ruined the world due to my natural idiocy? Well, it's high time I told you about this. Allow me to remind you: when I kissed... performed artificial ventilation on Fluttershy, I let her think it was actually a kiss, remember?

That's it.

You see, the history of Equestria could have changed because of that tiny, almost unnoticeable event. How, you may ask? That's easy. You know Crimson Apple, one of the leaders of Equestrian Marexists? Well, he is in fact a descendant of Fluttershy and Big Macintosh's foals. Ruining the surprise, huh?

If it were not for me, if only I hadn't come to Fluttershy's house in the first place and simply proceeded to Tia's chamber - the history would have flown the way it should. But I appeared in the poor pegasus' life, commanding all her attention and sympathy. Not only that, I accidentally made her fall in love with me!

How could that happen? I guess it's time for another story. Prepare yourselves, for it will be an exciting one. I hope. If not - you can always blame the Narrator: he's the one responsible for writing the story, not me, the genius named The Doctor.

Allons-y!

***

Twilight was in the mood for something new. Definitely. She was tired of reading books every evening. While the routine was quite pleasant, she grew tired of it as time passed. She wanted something more... light-hearted. Something more... defiant. Something more... rebellious.

Twilight giggled as she closed the door to her room and made sure Spike was asleep. She then proceeded to her bed, taking a wrapped object from beneath. She giggled again. Oh, this was so... hmm... dirty. She couldn't believe a proper mare like her would do such things. But a change of plans is a change of plans, after all!

She opened the package. Oh yes... she whispered, blushing hotly as she put the rectangular object on the bed.

Screech... Screech...

A strange noise disrupted her calmness, and she jumped up on her bed. Who could that be?

She looked around. Not a sign of a pony. Of course! It was the wind. Just the old good wind, flying through Equestria, scaring little foals... and her, she mentally added, huffing and returning to her... activity.

"Reading The Bookworm's Guide To Fashion, Twilight?" A whisper percolated into her ear.

Twilight shrieked and fell on the floor. As she rose to her hooves, she saw a familiar, a painfully familiar brown earth pony, an hourglass as his cutie mark.

"Doctor!" Twilight yelled, forgetting that she could wake up Spike... or the whole town, in this case. She galloped towards the earth pony, throwing herself into his embrace.

The embarrassed Doctor gave her a friendly pat on the back before she finally let him go and blushed at her emotional outburst. Then she realised something, something very important.

"Don't you dare tell anypony what I was doing," the lavender mare said, sending a glare towards the Time Lord.

The Doctor smiled with The Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM] and nodded.

"Okay, I haven't seen you reading a fashion magazine for bookworms, anyway," he replied.

"Good, then- HEY!" Twilight yelped as the brown pony burst into laughter.

When she regained her composure, she started bombarding The Doctor with questions:

"When did you get here? How did you get here? Why are you here? Why did you leave so suddenly back then, two years ago?"

"Just now. On my TARDIS. Because my TARDIS has crushed into pieces. Because... two years?!" The Doctor interrupted his laconic answers and widened his eyes.

"Yes, two years and a month, to be exact... Haven't you noticed?" Twilight asked suspiciously, raising a brow.

"That was two weeks for me," the Time Lord shrugged.

"I am so happy to see you! The girls will be so happy to see you! Especially..." Twilight grinned slyly. "Fluttershy," she finished, winking.

The Doctor shook his head in lack of understanding.

"What's so special about Fluttershy?" he asked, looking around.

The room has changed slightly, in the way that there were much more books. Much, much more. Otherwise, it was still the same cosy bedroom. Or reading room. The Doctor mentally concluded that it was both at once. The shelves were filled with various books - thousands of them. Books on science and poetry books, novels and article compilations, ancient books and newly-printed ones... It would take a whole day to read through all of them... (Considering my ability to read any book in a second, it is quite a long time, actually - T.L.) The room was dark so The Doctor instantly understood it was either evening or night. Good, at least the collision didn't draw attention of the whole town. The brown pony shook his head to get rid of the lament thoughts about TARDIS. He would think over it later. Later.

"She's in love with you," Twilight replied plainly.

"Oh, good, for a second I thought that... WHAT?" The Time Lord jumped up in astonishment, looking towards Twilight, hoping it was a joke.

Unfortunately, it was not.

"She keeps talking about how you kissed her... for two years as of now. If that's not love, then I don't know what is," the librarian continued calmly, yet a bit exditedly.

The Time Lord started running around the room in circles, hooves attached to his mane. Twilight mentally wondered how it was possible. But hay, he was a Time Lord, after all! Nothing ever works with that psycho... she thought.

"Hey!" The Doctor stopped. "I'm sane, for your information!" He yelled before continuing his fervent activity.

"But how... Don't tell me you are reading my thoughts again..." Twilight groaned. "STOP RUNNING AND STOP READING MY THOUGHTS!" She roared, making the brown earth pony freeze.

"Wow, never expected you to have such an... energetic voice," he replied, casting the same spell that prevented him from reading the unicorn's mind two years ago. Two years and a month, to be exact. (Two years, a month, four hours, seven minutes and 45.9867 seconds, to be *very** exact - T.L. (always punctual!)*

"I've been practicing, you know?" Twilight chuckled, relieved that her thoughts were now hidden from the vigorous Time Lord. "So, are you going to invite me to your and Fluttershy's wedding?" she carried on.

The lavender mare was obviously in the mood for some mockery. However, The Doctor parried her verbal attack with ease.

"I'm not into pony mares, Twilight," he replied, stopping and trying to recollect his thoughts.

"Oh, I see..." Twilight nodded understandingly. "Trotting on the other side of the street now, right?" she winked at the stallion, who nodded absent-mindedly. "Oh, I think I can find a nice stallion for you!" the mare exclaimed and clapped her hooves, smiling. "It's gonna be so exciting! We'll have Pinkie prepare the cake, and the balloons, and the streamers and-"

"No!" The Doctor hushed her. "I mean I'm not into pony mares, not mares. I'm not into ponies!" he continued. "I'm not even a pony myself! You are aliens to me!" He exclaimed, hoping it would clear the misunderstanding.

"Oh yes, I totally believe you, Doctor..." Twilight said , hopping on her bed once more, hiding the ill-timed magazine under the blanket. "But how come you are dating Princess Celestia?" she asked innocently.

"Oh that - you see..." the Time Lord began but had to stop immediately. The door opened, and a small purple dragon came into the room, freezing in place at the doorway.

At least he saved me from explaining myself... I owe him a bit, The Doctor thought.

"What-ho!" he tried to say in the most friendly manner his face could process.

The dragon raised a brow.

"You do realise ponies stopped using that phrase centuries ago, don't you?" he asked coldly before rasing his voice. "Who the hay are you, by the way?"

The brown pony opened his mouth to answer but Twilight preceded him.

"He's a Time Lord, travelling through Time and Space," she said as nonchalantly as possible.

Spike slowly took a step back and started closing the door.

"I don't want to know about your role-playing games, Twilight..." he said, almost having closed the door. "But next time you bring a stallion to your... ahem, chamber, at least tell me so I can go sleep in the basement," he grumbled before shutting the door.

"Now that was awkward..." The Doctor and Twilight said in unison and, looking at each other, burst into a severe fit of laughter.

"Doctor..." Twilight said as she wiped a tear off her eye.

"Yes, Twilight?" The Time Lord replied, repeating her gesture.

"I'm glad you're back."

"So am I."

Apple of Shyness (Part 2)

Author's note.

Guys guys guys... It's been a long time since I've written anything. A few weeks, right? *Checks* A BUCKING MONTH AND A HALF?! ...I'm sorry. It's that *real life, y'know? Anyway, since I'm back and all, have a chapter. I really hope my wits haven't been lost in the process of **real lifeing. Please rate and comment, as usual. Your comments are like gasoline to the engine of my story: without them, I can't carry on with the plot.*

Great... A bad metaphor is always a good way to start a chapter, isn't it? So, have some chapter.

Comment, rate, love and tolerate!

Peace.

P.S. Yes, chapters *are** getting shorter. And probably better. Or just shorter.*

***

When the Sun came creeping up the mountain in a most familiar manner, Sweet Apple Acres became covered in warm sunlight, which enveloped the huge farm like sweet honey. While most ponies were still asleep at the time, Big Macintosh was not. The muscular red stallion had already made his way to the furthest part of the farm, his blissful corner, where he could give himself up to applebucking. In fact, there were times when he just needed to remain alone, secluded, able to think over his troubles. And there were some troubles indeed.

To begin with, it had been a few months since he started to have that occasional feeling in the stomach: not pain but a kind of disturbance that one has when they start chewing on a rotten apple and spit in disgust; the feeling still stays, though. However, this feeling was not of disgust: Big Mac could have said it was even... pleasant.

Next, he had been having the same sort of dream every night for quite a long time. A dream of a wonderful yellow mare, with magnificent wings, a shy smile and a most pleasant attitude: a mare of dreams. Fluttershy.

Big Mac kicked an apple tree furiously, watching the fruit fall on the wet ground, crushing into pieces from such a hard blow. The red stallion shook his head angrily, as if he were trying to throw the nasty thoughts away.

So long as it doesn't mess with mah work, it's all right, he thought, proceeding to another tree.

"Quite the opposite, my hardworking friend," a voice reached the farmer's ears, making him turn round.

At first he didn't see anything but a second later he was able to recognise a brown earth pony who slowly came out from the shade of a nearby tree.

The red pony immediately took a defensive stance and looked at the stranger suspiciously.

"Who the hay are ya?" he asked rudely, still glaring at the brown intruder.

The Doctor (And it was, no doubt, me - T.L.) only sighed and shook his head lamentably.

"Why can't I make a cool entrance? Just once?" he mumbled, looking upwards, to the sky, where the Sun had already set itself high above the ground, ready to bathe in the pleasant warmness.

"My name is The Doctor and I am here to help you," the Time Lord addressed the farmer, stretching out his hoof.

Big Macintosh didn't feel like shaking it. He only glared at the earth pony some more, finally deciding that it was just a misunderstanding.

"Listen, Ah don' need no doctor. I ain't ill. Now, if ya will leave me to mah applebucking?" he asked in what he thought was a polite manner.

The Doctor sighed. It is going to be much, much tougher than I've thought... And will probably take more of my precious time... he mentally scolded himself.

"You know, my hardworking, yet so simple-minded, friend, just hanging around here and bucking apples won't get you what you want," the brown pony tried to reason Big Mac.

"Huh? And what do Ah want, then? What'cha think?" the red farmer asked suspiciously and rather angrily, taking a cautious step back.

The Doctor, by contrast, stepped forth and looked directly into the farmer's eyes.

"Fluttershy," he said.

Big Macintosh gulped. A drop of sweat formed upon his forehead and fell onto the ground.

"Now we're talking," he replied.

***

"So ya tellin' me that ya ain't a doctor, yet ya came from the future and are a time-traveller?" Big Mac laughed. "And ya expect me to believe ya?" he continued with a smirk.

The Doctor sighed and facehoofed. Same story again and again... he thought wearily. And I don't even have my TARDIS now...

The brown pony looked up lamentably. A white cloud lazily floated through the sky, covering the sun, yet letting a little sunlight through.

My TARDIS... the Time Lord sighed again, forcing his tears to stay in his eyes, not letting them fall to the ground. Suddenly, he felt a comforting hoof on his shoulder.

Big Macintosh was standing next to him, looking seriously into his eyes. The Doctor could see real sympathy in them - something he didn't expect to face.

"Hey, pardner, Ah didn't think Ah would upset ya. It's jes' hard ta believe, that's it. Cheer up," the red pony said, trying to smile, which, to The Doctor's surprise, came out as a fake.

The Time Lord faked a smile of his own as well.

"It's okay," he said assuringly, as if he were trying to comfort the farmer. "Not the first time it has happened anyway..." he mumbled.

The next second, the brown earth pony already held his head high, having summoned his strength.

"But you need to cheer up in the first place. Your future..." The Doctor made a dramatic pause, looking straight into Big Mac's eyes. "...is the future of all Equestria. The future of your country depends on you. And, to be exact, on whether you will or will not win Fluttershy's heart," he concluded on an especially high note.

"Ah get it," the red stallion replied simply, nodding his head in approval.

"That's it?" The Time Lord said somewhat disappointedly. "No gasps, tears, oaths or something like that?" he wondered with a flickering light of hope in his voice.

"Nope," Big Macintosh said laconically. "Ah believe ya; ya must've seen the future and all. It'll turn out ta be all right, will it?" he explained, carrying slight concern in his intonation.

The Doctor shrugged.

"Don't know; depends on the dimension we're in!" he exclaimed in a cheerful manner, returning to his usual self. (It was about time if you ask me... - T.L.)

"What? But you're a time traveller!" Big Mac yelled in disbelief.

The unperturbed Doctor shrugged once more.

"But I don't know anything for sure. You see, if we look at Time from a non-linear perspective, it will seem like a big ball of..." he began explaining, only to be interrupted. (As always... As always... - T.L.)

"It seems like a big ball of rotten horseapples ta me! First, Ah don't know how ya learnt 'bout mah liking Fluttershy - and Ah don't want ta know," the red stallion added, supporting his speech with a rough hoof gesture that reminded the Time Lord of a particular dictator from planet Earth. "But Ah know for sure: if ya wanna help, ya help me. If ya wanna talk 'bout it - go to doctor Creud - he's a specialist. Ah, on the opposite, am not a talker," Big Mac concluded, stomping a hoof on the ground with quite a lot of feeling, almost making the impression of a certain dictator complete.

"It shows..." The Doctor muttered under his breath. "All right!" he said aloud. "If you want my help, it will be on my terms. First of all, we need to see where you stand."

"On the ground," Big Macintosh replied.

(Awww yeaaah! ... ... ... ... ...Sorry, just *had** to say it... - T.L.*)

The brown earth pony sent a cold glare towards him.

"The first rule. Never. Ever. Try to express your sonorous sense of humour before Fluttershy. Now... let me see..." the Time Lord paused for a second, recollecting his thoughts. "Aha! The next morning, we'll visit Fluttershy... let's say... for a cup of tea. And then we'll see how you act when she's around. Deal?" the brown pony stretched forth his hoof.

"Nope," the farmer replied. "This will not do."

The Doctor suddenly felt very angry.

"Oh, is it so? In this case, I'll go alone. To Fluttershy. To have a cup of tea. And kiss her. Again." he hissed irritatedly.

Now, let me clarify something. It was a mistake. Yes, exactly - that last word: *'again'. Sometimes I so run ahead of my... well, ahead of **everything... that I forget some ponies just don't know some facts. Some... vital facts. Like Twilight didn't know the quantum theory of Earth. Like Rarity didn't know I hated the suit she made me a few days after the described events. Like Pinkie Pie didn't know I disliked cupcakes... for more than one reason. ...Like Big Mac didn't know about my having kissed Fluttershy... Well, you catch my drift, right? And let me tell you something. Getting hit in the eye with a hoof is painful. Very, very painful. *Sigh* Back to the story, Narrator. Wait... let's skip a few painful minutes of explaining.*

Ten minutes later...

"Ah repeat, Ah'm sorry for kicking ya in the face," Big Macintosh said apologetically. "But ya must understand me too! Ah love her!"

"I... understand you, my hardworking... strong... hard-hoofed friend," The Doctor replied, rubbing his eye. "So... tomorrow, Fluttershy's cottage. Deal?" he extended his hoof once more.

"Eyep," Big Mac nodded, shaking the brown hoof.

***

The morning had all chances to be a pleasant one. As usual. But as soon as The Doctor reached Fluttershy's house, he realised it was turning out to be one of those awful mornings. As usual.

Big Macintosh was waiting patiently right in front of the door. The Time Lord wondered how Fluttershy managed not to notice his presence. But there was a worse thing to worry about.

As the brown earth pony approached the red farmer, the expression on his face was becoming more and more puzzled.

"Good morning, my friend," he greeted the stallion and, without listening to the reply, proceeded to enquire: "I beg your pardon... but what is this... thing wrapped around your neck?"

The red earth pony smiled proudly.

"Oh, that? That's a tie. Mah great great grandpa's, ta be exact. He left it to mah great grandpa, he left it to mah grandpa, he left it to mah father, and mah pa - that's how Ah call mah father - left it..."

The Doctor sighed and interrupted the speech.

"My friend," he began. "My hardworking, stylish friend. I'd rather you didn't wear this... item today."

"Why?" the farmer asked sincerely.

"It is too good for such an occasion," The Doctor replied with a poker face.

"Oh, all right," Big Mac said and took off the tie, not noticing the sarcasm. (You may think he's not the type to notice sarcasm... or anything at all, for that matter... But he's not dumb, mind you! - T.L.)

"Thank you. Now, listen carefully. When she opens the door and welcomes us, you need to make a compliment. Instantly, even before entering the cottage. It's always a good thing to start with," the Time Lord explained.

The farmer nodded silently.

The brown pony knocked at the door.

A second later, a yellow pegasus appeared in the doorway, supported by a white bunny who was standing behind her. She immediately blushed upon seeing two stallions in front of her, one of them being The Doctor.

"Hi, Fluttershy!" The Doctor exclaimed. "We were passing by and thought that maybe we could call on you for a cup of tea?"

"Oh, sure..." the pegasus replied, her blush becoming even deeper. "Um... nice tie you're holding, Big Mac..." she said, looking at the guests.

"Eyep," the stallion replied, carefully scrutinizing his hooves.

The Doctor coughed, giving the red earth pony an invisible kick.

"Oh!" Big Mac exclaimed, looking around fervently, trying to find something to compliment on. "Nice... bunny you have here, Fluttershy. He's so... white?"

The Doctor facehoofed. It was one of those mornings indeed...

Apple of Shyness (Part 3)

Author's note.

I've learned a few things during last month:

1) Hospital is a dull place.

2) There's not much to do there.

3) When in doubt, write fanfiction.

4) ???

5) PROFIT!

Now, I ask you, my fellow readers, to whom I am very grateful, to do two simple things:

1) Read my new story, a one-shot comedy, which is connected to the 'Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord' - Time Lords and Wingboners. WARNING: Teen rating. Like anypony cares, anyway...

2) Go to this blog post and vote. It's obligatory. It's important. Do it. For the Solar Empire/For the (New) Lunar Republic. For the Doctor.

Peace.

***

Some ponies are thick. You know, that type of ponies who cannot be described as 'dumb' but aren't showing a decent amount of wits in their thinking process? Yes, that's the type. Sometimes I wonder if they are doing it on purpose. No, really. Maybe we are all a part of some evil conspiracy that even I, an immortal Time Lord, don't know? Maybe those 'thick' ponies are in fact a new evolutionary stage for us to evolve into?

...Not in the slightest. Some ponies are just thick. We'll just have to - as humans say - deal with it. And, unfortunately for me, Big Macintosh, my hardworking, strong, honest and caring friend, also happened to be of that variety.

Big Mac was thick and I couldn't do a single thing to fix that. But I'd better show you the events from the usual perspective, shall I? Carry on, Josh. Amuse me.

***

The clock was ticking.

The room was spacious and elaborately decorated. The Doctor realised that many changes had occurred to the design of Fluttershy's cottage since his last visit. For instance, there were new yellow pillows on the sofa. The curtains were new as well; so white that they were blinding.

The clock was ticking.

Having no desire to part with his perfect eyesight, the Time Lord looked at the other side of the room. Unfortunately, the other side of the room included Fluttershy. As soon as the yellow pegasus felt the brown pony's gaze upon her, she blushed meekly and turned her eyes away. (Can you blush *meekly*? I mean, sure, you can be a meek pony but when you blush - don't you lose that state for a while? ...Anyway, it's the Narrator's problem. Blame everything on the Narrator. That's the way of a Time Lord. That's the way. - T.L.)

The clock was ticking.

The Doctor coughed and lightly tapped Macintosh's hoof under the table. The red earth pony failed to understand the hint so the Time Lord elaborated his idea further.

"Mac, old cheese, why don't you tell Fluttershy what you do at the farm?" he addressed the farmer in a most nonchalant (yet old-fashioned) manner, repeating the hoof gesture, a bit harder this time.

Now he seemed to have understood what the brown pony was implying.

"Um... At th' farm... Ah buck," he said, stammering at each word.

Fluttershy instantly spat her tea. So did the Doctor. Upon realising what he had just said, Big Mac blushed. Fortunately, his coat colour hid the blush ever so well.

(Now let me explain something. When ponies say 'buck', they mean one of the following things: either 'buck apples' or, so to speak, copulate. Mate. Have sex. I think I made myself quite clear. The thing is, when ponies want to imply the first meaning, they usually *do** use the word 'apples'. As you can clearly see, out hardworking friend met another failure. The more you know! - T.L.*)

"Apples! Ah buck apples! Ah don' go round th' farm mating mare and mah animals! Ah ain't like that!"

The Doctor facehoofed. It seemed that with each passing second the situation was turning out for the worse. Some drastic measures had to be taken. And, as it always happens in such a situation, the Time Lord had a plan. A wonderful plan.

"So, erm, Fluttershy, Mac, I'll come back in a second. Need some business to attend... in the kitchen. I want some cheese," he said quickly and rose from the table.

"Um... Doctor... there is cheese on the table," Big Mac replied, obviously having no desire to be left alone with the yellow mare.

"I need some other cheese," The Doctor replied, looking at the earth pony sternly.

"I can get some cheese for you, darling," Fluttershy suddenly said.

(Now that was some shock indeed. Darling? Seriously?! - T.L.)

Trying hard not to notice the strange (and somewhat unjustified) form of addressing, The Doctor rushed off to the kitchen, mumbling something between "Oh thanks, I'll manage" and "You will be the death of me, Fluttershy, and you seem to be enjoying it". Probably the latter.

As Big Macintosh and Fluttershy were left alone, awkward silence took its place in the room.

Fluttershy looked at the table, admiring its common wooden pattern.

Big Mac looked at the tie, which he was still holding, and finally decided to speak.

"So... what'cha bucking... AH MEAN DOIN' round here?"

***

"Okay, bunny, you will do this."

Angel shook his head, looking at that strange Time Lord disguised as a pony. He had thought he left Ponyville for good but, alas, he was gravely mistaken.

"You will do this or..." The Doctor made a dramatic pause, during which the rabbit gulped. "...face the Universal Court as an illegal migrant," the Time Lord finished, putting great emphasis on the last two words.

The white creature shivered in fear but still shook his head disapprovingly. His whole body was saying: No, I won't help you to make *her** date him, even if I have to die otherwise!*

"Do not underestimate me, bunny. Even if the Universal Court will ban you for eternity or execute you... I will travel back in time and make your life worse than Hell..." the brown pony hissed, making Angel remember how serious Time Lords can get.

FLASHBACK

The Doctor finally regained his composure and, with a brand smile, approached the rabbit, gently pushing Fluttershy aside. He winked at her.

"Some men's business here, Fluttershy. Could you... get us some tea or something?" He asked.

The yellow pegasus nodded. "Okay... But please don't argue or fight, okay?" She pleaded, looking more at her bunny than at the brown pony.

"Don't worry, Fluttershy, we are going to be most... friendly..." The Doctor gave the white rabbit a glare and was met with the same glare from him.

The animal caretaker hesitantly left the room.

The Time Lord carefully bent over the sofa, his lips in a few millimeters from Angel's ears.

The rabbit snorted but he couldn't move his limbs: the pain in the paw was too severe.

The Doctor began whispering into Angel's ear: "You know, once I met an alien who refused to register according to the Shadow proclamation... Let's say... his future was most... miserable."

The rabbit shrugged, rising his brow. His expression was saying: 'So what? How does it affect me?'

The brown pony gave the rabbit a pat on the back. "I am a Time Lord, bunny. And I know exactly where you come from," he said, nodding his head.

Angel's pupils widened to the size of saucers. He furiously shook his head whick could be translated as 'You must be kidding me! It's impossible! You are a mere earth pony!'

"It is so," The Doctor answered to his gestures. "Look." And so his cutie mark glowed and the room around them started to shimmer.

Suddenly, Fluttershy appeared before them, in the exact position she was in before going to the kitchen.

She nodded. "Okay... But please don't argue or fight, okay?" She pleaded, looking more at her bunny than at the brown pony.

And Angel Bunny thought his eyes couldn't go any wider...

After Fluttershy went to the kitchen again, Angel began shivering. He looked up at the Doctor, shaking from fear.

The Time Lord smiled. "Proved it to you?" He asked. "Or do you need more proof?" He threatened the poor fur ball.

Angel shook his head and gulped.

The brown pony winked. "Feeling better, bunny? Now if you are a dear and are gentle to Fluttershy, I might forget about your... birthplace," He concluded.

The white rabbit simply nodded, almost frozen in awe.

END OF FLASHBACK

The Doctor raised a brow.

The rabbit sighed in defeat.

The Time Lord approached Angel and gave him a pat on the back.

"Now, now, bunny, don't get me wrong. But I really need them to date, you see? It's important for the sake of the whole Equestrian history!" he explained.

Now it was Angel's turn to raise his brow, in a "Oh really? And here I was, thinking that you simply didn't want to date Fluttershy, so you had to find *some other fool** in your stead.*" manner.

Without further discussions (It would be strange to call that shadow of a conversation a 'discussion', for the rabbit wasn't actually able to reply to me. - T.L.), The Doctor nodded and began explaining his plan.

"Now, what I want you to do is..." At this point, his voice dropped to an extremely quiet whisper.

The next moment, Angel Bunny fainted.

Apple of Shyness (Part 4)

Author's note.

Now this is something new. You guys wanted to see the story from the Doctor's perspective - you got it! ...And it's also much easier to write this way. Yes, I'm lazy as hell. Enjoy. And don't forget to *comment*!

Peace.

***

Now some of you may say I'm cruel. The reason for their thinking in such a way is understandable, though I disagree fully and completely. And not without justification, mind you! What is one little alien rabbit's well-being compared to a massive shift in the whole Space-Time continuum? Nothing, I say! Although avid rabbit lovers won't get my point at all, I'm aiming my speech at those of you with at least a foundation of complex thought.

Yes, it is I, the Doctor, who, by his (i.e. my) own device, made Angel Bunny lose his bleak consciousness. But before accusing me of cruelty, you may want to hear out my plan. Or you may not want to. Either way, you will have to. Can't just skip those chapters, eh?

Anyway, what I told Angel was a genuinely simple plan, yet somewhat elaborate: the rabbit had to play the classic role of an offensive bully, so to speak. He had to try to offend Fluttershy in any possible way, making Big Macintosh play the role of a knight in shining armour (ponies in armour? Oh really?) and punish the rabbit, making the yellow mare immediately fall in love with him. See? It wasn't that hard, was it?

Yet, Angel Bunny fainted. As I tried to make him come round, I started renewing my ingenious plan. The only other option would be my standing in the rabbit's place but that was totally unacceptable. I'm a Time Lord, after all! My well-being is far more important than that of Angel's!

And, as it usually happens in such situations (at least to me), a flash of otherworldly light enveloped the kitchen, making me blind for a moment.

When I opened my eyes, however, I realised that there were much more important matters that repolishing my stupid (I mean, ingenious) plan.

"Good day, Doctor," a brown-maned earth pony, who had just appeared in the room, said. "It seems we meet again."

***

"Ah, if it isn't Master, my old friend. How is it going those days, being a pony and all?" I wondered nonchalantly, moving Angel under the table with my hoof (the guy would come round eventually, don't worry) and approaching the beige earth pony with a light brown mane and such entrancing dark brown eyes, which lured anyone completely and made the person bend to the Master's will any second. The wordless charm worked instantly, unmistakably and affected anyone and, consequently, anypony. Apart from me, of course.

And before you wonder, no, I'm not gay. Not in slightest. Well, at least not on Tuesdays.

The Master had always been my friend, rival and nemesis at the same time. And Space. (We Time Lords have our bad puns too, you know?) He's a nice fella, except for the moments when he was trying to kill me, enslave me, murder everyone I held dear - you know how it goes. Unfortunately, such moments were becoming gradually more and more frequent. Either he was getting older or I was too taking life too easily.

Anyway, the Master stood right before me, in Fluttershy's kitchen.

"Haven't been expecting me, Doctor?" he said, moving closer to me, hissing the last word. Ah, I always like when he hisses my name like that. ...Don't get me wrong, all right?

"I have, as a matter of fact. Being a Time Lord, knowing the future, all that stuff, you know?" I replied in what seemed to me a friendly manner.

The Master facehoofed.

"Yes, that was quite predictable..." he stated with a sigh.

"Better luck next time, bro," I said and shrugged. "Oh, by the way, our being ponies and all, can I get a brohoof before you enlighten me on how exactly I'm supposed to die in pain this time?" I added, stretching my leg so that my hoof was almost touching his.

"I told you that studying human culture won't do you good," the Master grunted but still replied to the gesture.

"Now there was something regarding your dying in pain..." the beige pony began.

I listened attentively. It's remarkable just how he manages to make all those new ways of torturing me! ...Again, I'm not gay. Or into BDSM and stuff. At least not on Tuesday... Tuesday mornings. And afternoons.

"...But today I've decided to spare you your miserable life," he suddenly finished.

I raised my brown in unspoken question. ...Oh, wait a minute. In a spoken question.

"Was that decision by any chance influenced by my being immortal?" I asked indulgently.

The Master groaned.

"Oh, you didn't have to ruin that for me," he said, casting a disapproving glance at me.

"Totally had to," I easily parried. Everything is easy when you're smart, isn't it?

"You don't end a sentence with a preposition," the Master mentioned. Ah, he can be such a grammar Dalek at times...

"No, my friend, I usually act exactly as I plan to," I replied, putting mocking emphasis on the preposition that had been conveniently put at the end of sentence by yours faithfully.

My dearest friend sighed and shook his head disapprovingly.

"Anyway." He tapped his hoof against the floor. "Anyway. Since I have no intention of killing you," at this point he looked at me appraisingly. "I'll still have kicks from ruining your relationship."

"Which one?" I wondered innocently.

"Don't play dumb, Doctor!" he yelled, losing his temper.

"Why? I get paid for this!" I said, crushing his argument.

"...What?" he asked after a half-minute silence.

"Not really," I replied with a sigh. "You know how it goes - we Time Lords don't get paid."

"Yeah, that sucks," he agreed. "I even had to give rides to little humans in the zoo - how humiliating!"

"Oh, don't tell me about it! I had to give rides to grown up humans - that's even worse!" I sighed and lowered my head, trying to get rid of the horrible memories.

The Master coughed.

"Well, as I was saying, I'm going to ruin your relationship with Fluttershy - you see, I've gathered enough information-" he began once more.

"-Not enough to see that there is no relationship between us, it seems," I interrupted him.

"But-" he tried to argue.

"Twilight Sparkle isn't the best source of information, you know?"

Checkmate, my friends. By the look on the Master's face, I could clearly see that I hit the target on this one, so to speak.

"But... I... Damn it," the brown-maned earth pony swore, his face becoming visibly dull and gloomy.

"Hey, cheer up! At least you can help me, for a change," I tried to comfort him.

"What for?" he asked, raising his head.

"Ahem! You do not end the sentence with a preposition, Master," I quoted him mockingly.

"For what exact reason might it be, Doctor?" he replied in the same tone.

Ah, at least I managed to cheer him up a bit.

"For a change, you know? Trying to kill me is fun and all but we are friends, for buck's sake!" I reasoned my old friend-rival. "What's more, you'll have the chance to humiliate me before a mare, namely Fluttershy. Sounds good, eh? Help a friend and humiliate him to death - all in a day's work!"

"And how exactly are you planning to play your gambit? And, more importantly, why would you like me to do it?" the Master enquired.

"Listen up. Fluttershy likes me for some reason but, for the sake of the Universe - you know how it goes - she must marry Big Macintosh, a big thick red earth pony, who's sitting next to her at table right in the next room. Your goal is to make her like him, and stop liking me. You think you can do it?" I wondered, already knowing the answer.

"As easy as saving Uranus from a flood. But you'll owe me," he warned.

I nodded in silent approval.

"Now, as for how I will humiliate you to make her stop liking you and see what sort of jerk you are..." he began and I turned all ears.

***

We entered the room and I immediately saw that nothing had changed at all. Big Mac was still to shy to speak first and Fluttershy was too shy to- well, she was just too shy. And in love with me. But that silly crush was to be crushed (AWWWW YEEEAAAAAAH!!! I couldn't resist it, sorry) soon.

"Hello, Big Mac, Fluttershy," I greeted the two ponies whose eyes were locked on the beige newcomer. "That's Master, my friend," I introduced the Time Lord to them.

"His boyfriend. Coltfriend, if that suits you better," the Master said with a grin.

Yes. The stupid feeling would be crushed very soon. As well as my life, my carrier (do I even have one?) and my reputation.

Apple of Shyness (Part 5)

"Your... What?" Fluttershy and Big Macintosh asked in disbelief.

"My... What?" I tried to specify the Master's statement.

"Oh, come on, sweetheart, you don't need to be shy. Those are your friends, after all. They have the right to know," the beige earth pony said with a wink, putting a comforting hoof on my shoulder. At the time it felt like a thousand razor blades cutting into my flesh. Though the original intent was to comfort me, no doubt.

"I... Yes..." I began, looking at Fluttershy, and tried to make my best I'm not lying, really! impression. "I... I was going to tell you long ago... Master and I are dating," I finished the speech and patted the Time Lord on the back, vigorously trying to resist breaking a rib or two in process.

"Oh, so you're... gay?" Fluttershy mumbled, turning red.

I sighed in relief; though, I tried to make it a sigh of sorrow.

"Yes, Fluttershy, unfortunately I am," I replied with another fake sigh. "No need to worry though - you will always remain in my heart as a friend," I assured the yellow mare.

"Oh... I see..." Fluttershy said so sadly that I almost felt bad for her.

Almost. No pity for beautiful mares!

Still, Big Macintosh wasn't helping in the slightest. He was dumbly sitting at table, blinking every few seconds or so. Sure, maybe some mares liked the quiet ones, but not the silent ones!

"So... how did you two fall in love?" she wondered carefully.

Ah, but of course. Those mares are always so into gossip and stuff! We stallions are far better in that way!

...You do remember I'm not actually gay, right? Keep that in mind, you!

"Oh, it's a lovely story~" the Master cooed, making me mentally groan. When it came down to imagination, nopony could outshine my fellow Time Lord.

"When we were foals, we actually used to argue and fight a lot," the beige pony began with the classical introduction.

5/10, in my view. Not the best one he could come up with.

"Until, on one fateful day; or, to be more exact, evening," the Master faked a satisfied smile (or did he?) and closed his eyes, making Fluttershy blush and Big Mac frown. I was totally on the farmer's side at that moment. "...the Doctor confessed his feelings to me-"

"-oh, really?" I interrupted him. That was going way too out of hoof. "I thought you did," I stated firmly and glared at my... Ahem, "partner".

And that. foals, is how you make a grave mistake.

You know what makes a party weak? And I'm not talking about the Pinkie-Pie-ish "party" in the meaning of "celebration".

Hey, you can't use it in other ways, dummy! It's a Comedy story, not some War-based-grimdark-ish fic!

Wha?.. How did she...

Oh, but there's the "Traitor" arc, anyway... Oh, I should've quoted the "the", like this: "The Traitor". There! All better! Cheers!

... ... ... ... ...I refuse to understand this.

...Anyway, most... groups of allies (lest she should come back...) are made weak by a good old Time Lords' rule, which we tend to forget: Divide et impera. And no, that's not the Romans' creation. That was us. Just don't tell anypony, okay? Oh, but you totally can't, being dead and all. Sorry, no offence intended

So, as I was saying, discord had set itself between Master and me, so our perfect (was it perfect in the first place?) plan was slowly coming to a ruin.

"Oh, silly," the Master addressed me with a stupid grin on his face, "I have always been the submissive one, remember?"

"Oh I do..." I hissed, squinting my eyes. "I ever so do..." I muttered under my breath.

The silence was thick enough to be cut with a knife, put on a fine slice of bread and eaten on the spot. Which reminds me, I still hadn't had breakfast by that time...

"Well, when you kissed me, I wouldn't have said you were... um... gay," Fluttershy mumbled with an uneasy smile.

The Master shifted and threw an angry glance towards me.

"Honey? What does that mean?" he asked disapprovingly.

"What's there ta understand? Ya all heard what Miss Fluttershy here said," Bug Mac hissed angrily, casting a warning glance at the beige Time Lord.

"Hey, big one, you're not the one I'm talking to. Go woo your lady or something," the Master replied without actually turning round.

As I saw smoke erupting from the red earth pony's nostrils, I felt it was high time we used the secret weapon of all Time Lords.

It was about time we ran away.

I tried to wink at the Master but at that exact minute he found it better to face Big Macintosh instead. Another grave mistake of his.

"Ah s'pose ya'll should apologise ta Miss Fluttershy immediately," the farmer stated, gradually rising from the table.

"Oh, um... I'm really not offended, Mac, really..." the yellow mare began, gently touching the stallion on the shoulder.

Big Macintosh just shrugged and tossed a smile towards the pegasus.

"No, Miss Fluttershy, this brat right here needs ta learn how to speak ta a fine mare like yourself," he replied firmly, making Fluttershy blush.

"Hey, you earth worm, whom have you just called a 'brat'? Go and talk to your yellow whorse!" the Master yelled angrily, glaring at Big Macintosh.

I didn't tell you how easy it was to offend my dearest Time Lord friend, did I? Well, it was twice as easy to offend Big Macintosh. Especially when Fluttershy was mentioned... in a bad light, so to speak.

I knew where this was going very well so, as a wise Time Lord, I quickly retreated from my place and ran out of the cottage, the noise of pony flesh hitting pony flesh following me all the way till I reached the town square and placed myself near the fountain.

The plan was perfect indeed...

***

"But Master, it all turned out well, right?"

"I don't want to talk to you, you traitor."

The conversation wasn't one of the most heartwarming ones we had had with the Master before. A few days after the aforementioned events, we sat near the fountain in the main square, the Master being bandaged and all. After all, Big Mac surely knew how to develop a good kick.

"I don't want to be a pony anymore," the beige Time Lord whined quietly. "Being a pony sucks horse dicks. No, it sucks pony dicks," he specified angrily.

Suddenly, a red figure appeared in the street, making my fellow friend hide behind my back. It was, no doubt, Big Macintosh, approaching us.

As the farmer pony came up to us closely, I could see a big smile plastered upon his face.

"It worked, Doc! It all worked! Flutty and Ah are now in a relationship!" he said happily as he shook my hoof. "Ah hope Ah didn't hurt you so bad, Mister Master? Ya'll were jes' playin' your role so well that Ah believed for a second that ya really wanted to offend Flutty!" he addressed the Master, shaking his almost lifeless hoof.

"Wha-" the dumbfounded beige stallion began but I quickly shoved a hoof in his mouth, making him cough.

"Thank-you-very-much-Big-Mac-but-we-really-have-to-go-BYE!" I yelled and, grabbing my fellow Time Lord by the hoof, escaped in the direction of the Everfree Forest.

"Those Time Lords are weird..." Big Mac mused and went back to Fluttershy's cottage to spend some more time with his loved one.

***

"So... you're telling me you told Big Mac I was just putting on an act?" the Master wondered.

"Yep," I replied.

"Still, you dragged me in all of this in the first place," he continued.

"Yep," I replied.

"And you got me out of this mess as well," he concluded.

"Yep," I replied with a slight nod.

The Master sighed.

"You're a really good friend, Doctor, although a strange one," he said.

"I know," I replied.

The birds were singing about the forest, making our ears filled with delight. The fresh air enveloped out lungs from the inside, granting invigoration for the rest of the day.

The Master sighed again.

"Totally going to kill you next time we meet, Doctor," he said.

"I know," I replied with a smile. "A cup of tea?" I offered.

"What British stallion refuses a cup of tea?" the Master said.

We rose and walked towards the nearest cafe.

Everything was back to normal.

***

Author's note.

And that concludes this arc. This was the positively worst story arc I've written and I am very, very disappointed in it. Now I need to climb some Holy Summit and draw inspiration from the sound of absolute silence. Till then, I'm leaving to you the right to comment on the whole arc and tell me how bad it was.

Peace.

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 2)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 2)

***

"That's it. I can't make it. Leave me, Tia. Leave me to die, save yourself!" I whined (very manly) as I fell on the ground, exhausted after what seemed like hours of running.

"Come on, Doctor!" the white mare poked me with a hoof. "We've been running for some five minutes, no more! The airship will leave without us!"

I groaned and rolled over, breathing heavily.

"Gimme a minute, Tia, I just need to catch my breath," I tried to reason the vigorous alicorn.

"Oh, come on!" she exclaimed. "You were much more enduring last night."

Well, she had a point, that mare. I smiled to myself.

"You're right, my dear, but that's exactly the reason why I can't move a limb right now," I replied, placing my head on my hooves.

A few minutes of sleep wouldn't hurt, would they?

Apparently, to Celestia's mind, they would.Or else, she wouldn't have lifted me in the air with her telekinesis and dragged me behind as she resumed trotting towards the port.

The Air Port. Get it? Get it? It's like an airport, only an Air Port! For Air Ships, you see?

...Anyway, yawning and rolling in Celestia's magical grip, I managed to occupy a comfortable position.

Suddenly, the Princess slowed down.

"What's wrong, Tia? Exhausted?" I wondered mockingly.

Not noticing my sarcasm, Celestia just came to a stop and rubbed her chin.

"I just... I think we forgot something... Something very important..." she said, looking around.

"Nah," I shrugged as I rolled onto my back, still being in the air and all. "Just shrug it off. Nothing's wrong, Tia. Just look at the beautiful moon and-"

"I forgot to raise the Sun!" she yelled and lost hold of me.

And, of course, I fell on my spine again.

Possible injuries count: 2

"Ouch," I mumbled calmly. "So, what's the big deal? Raise it," I said with a shrug.

Celestia frowned and shook her head.

"Doctor, raising the Sun and the Moon is what we alicorns do in private," she addressed me, turning round and heading back to the castle.

"Oh, come on, screw privacy! I'm your coltfriend, for your sake!" I reasoned the mare as I followed her. "Besides, we won't make it to the cruise in this case."

"So we won't, in this case," Celestia replied casually. "Those cruises are annual. Besides, I always give you your privacy when you isolate yourself in our room with the latest issue of Playcolt," she added.

I gulped, wondering how she knew it.

"Point taken," I immediately agreed and hastened my pace. The sleepiness left me in an instant.

We headed for the castle.

The moonlight was enveloping us in a very romantic way, warming me up inside. Even though I swore to myself that I'd never let a mare in my life, I did. And I think it was totally worth it.

I smiled as the Moon lowered down, letting the Sun rise up high and let the world bathe in its warmth. The Sun-

The Sun...

The Sun.

I suddenly realised that something had gone terribly wrong and looked at Celestia in fear.

She simply stood before the castle gates, her gaze directed at the celestial body. At her celestial body. Her eye twitched.

"I have somepony to talk to," she hissed and galloped inside, magically opening the gates.

And, as usual, I just crashed into the closed door as I tried to follow her.

Ouch.

Possible injuries count: 3

***

When I reached Celestia's chamber, I could hear angry voices from behind the door. I sighed since I knew very well whose these voices were.

That was the familiar sound of two sisters arguing.

"How could you ever think about raising the Sun in my place, not to mention doing it!"

That was certainly Celestia's angry voice. Her most angry voice - there are a few degrees of it, actually.

"I wouldn't have done it if you had been following your royal duties, sister!"

Now that was Luna's angry voice...

"I was just on my way to the castle to raise it!"

"Oh, maybe you just forgot about it? Because you rutted with your Doctor so much that you can't remember a sinhle thing?!"

Well, that was partially true, may it be said in Luna's defence...

"You... I'm not expecting you to lunch today, sister," Celestia hissed.

"I didn't want to come in the first place," Luna replied in the same tone.

After a moment of awkward silence, the door opened and hit me on the head.

Ouch again.

Possible injuries count: 4

Not noticing (or, better to say, pretending not to have noticed) my eavesdropping, Celestia nodded in my direction.

"Let's go have lunch, honey," she said and descended the stairs.

Before following her, however, I looked into the room and gave Luna a reassuring smile.

The blue alicorn merely frowned.

"Come on, Luna, Tia can be a pain in the flank sometimes, you know that," I said with a wink and trotted down the stairs to the kitchen, leaving the younger princess alone with her thoughts.

***

The awkward silence became slightly easier to bear after eating a plate of hay fries and drinking a cup of invigorating tea.

Have I told you just how much I love tea? I love it will all of my heart and soul. I feel sincere (and mutual) longing to the substance and, I must say, I can't survive a day without it.

Now that I think abut it, it resembles my love to Tia...

Anyway!

Celestia sighed and took a fruit from the plate. A yellow, oval fruit.

"That's- that's a banana, Tia..." I said, remembering an old inside joke from the times when I was still in human form. An unpleasant one. Literally, I'd been searching high and low for the infamous Moon Cannon since I began dating Celestia but fortunately hadn't found a sign of it.

"Yes. Yes, it is," the royal mare replied seriously. "Anything wrong with it?" she wondered as she took a gentle bite.

"No, nothing... Confound those humans..." I whispered under my breath. Unfortunately, too loud for Celestia to hear.

Her ears jerked up and she chocked on the banana. In a sexy way, though.

"Humans? Have I misheard, darling? Where do you know about humans from?" she wondered suspiciously.

I thought it was high time we talked about the elephant in the room. Or, better to say, the Time Lord in the room.

(If you still hasn't guessed, that's me. If you has, though, you're really shrewd.)

"Um, you know, I've been one for quite a long time..." I tried to maintain a casual tone.

...Wrong tone.

Celestia raised her brow, prompting me to provide an explanation.

And that was exactly what I did.

***

"I... I've been sleeping with a Time Lord?"

Well, I'd awaited such a reaction. I knew that sooner or later it had to be revealed to her.

"Yeah, you can feel proud, sweetie," I replied to Celestia's outburst, trying to maintain calmness, trying to charm Tia with my brand Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM].

"I... thought you were a simple pony..." she speculated, shaking her head, looking down at her hooves.

"You... do realise that simple ponies don't live for hundreds of years, right?" I asked with a not-amused glance.

Celestia rubbed her chin.

"Now that you mention it..." she mused aloud.

"Besides, we Time Lords are... bigger than simple ponies," I whispered seductively in her ear.

"What? I think your body is the same size as..." the white mare began but then blinked in understanding. "Oh, I get it. A certain part of your body..." she said with an almost invisible blush.

I nodded with a sly grin.

"Come on, Doctor!" she scolded me (in spite of herself, may I say). "Let's be patient and wait until nightfall."

Nightfall.

Now that we noticed it, looking around in panic, the world became dark again. The Sun lowered into its cosy bed behind the horizon and the Moon took its royal place upon the sky.

"Luna..." Celestia hissed angrily. "What does she think she is doing?!"

She rose from the table and swung the door open, running to her sister's chamber.

I sighed and followed her. I had a bad, bad premonition about all of this.

And you know why?

Because I know the future so goddamn well.

And it's not bright.

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"No, don't touch it!"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"NO!"

~~~

"Hello, Doctor. It seems we meet again."

***

Author's note.

I must give up smoking. I really, really need to. Also, please comment.

Peace.

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 3)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 3)

***

"Luna! Explain yourself!" the white regal mare demanded as soon as she entered her sister's bedroom, only to see Luna sitting on her bed, her head lowered strangely.

She didn't reply. She never looked up. She just smiled slyly, facing the covers.

"Luna?.." I said, coming forth, trying to hold Celestia back. My Time Lord sense immediately told me something was wrong.

She smirked and shook her head.

"All this time..." she whispered and let out a maniacal laugh.

I felt Celestia shiver next to me, sweat forming upon her forehead. She could see that something was terribly wrong, too.

"Lulu..." the Princess of the Sun whispered in a trembling voice.

"All this time... You were the one to decide..." Luna whispered back to Celestia, though addressing nopony in particular.

I took a hesitant step forth. Now I could see a book lying on the bed next to the blue alicorn.

"Now I will have power!" Luna exclaimed, her head jerking up, her eyes mad and bloodshot. "More power than you could ever imagine!"

Celestia just stood frozen in place, unable to move, awestruck by her sister's behaviour.

"This is madness..." she mumbled.

"No, it is not," I stated, taking another step towards the bed. "See the book?" I asked the white mare.

She squinted her eyes to get a better vision of the book and nodded.

"Luna, darling," I tried to approach the blue mare, who instantly grabbed the book and glared at me.

"Don't you dare call me that, Doctor! All those years, you saw my affection towards you but never paid me back! Never!" Luna cried, tears streaming from her eyes.

"Now I demand vengeance," she said in a firmer tone and opened the book on the last page.

My eyes opened wide as I saw Luna levitate a needle towards her.

"What... does that mean?" Celestia muttered under her breath.

"Ancient magic..." I whispered. "The magic of blood..."

"No, don't touch it!" I yelled towards Luna as she stung her hoof with the needle and brought the book closer.

"Why shouldn't I?" the Princess of the Night wondered half-mockingly. A drop of blood was ready to fall from her hoof onto the last page of the book.

"Luna, wait! I- I love you!" I shouted, eager to do anything to stop the blue mare. "Just let me take the book- let me burn it, and we'll live happily together! We can work it out! Please, Luna, I beg you!"

My appealing to reason failed.

Luna chuckled and pressed the wounded hoof against the paper.

"NO!" I yelled in despair.

As blood soaked into the blank page, the room lit with unworldly light. Luna screamed, making her elder sister cover her eyes. I stood and watched the whole dance of light and darkness before me, shocked. The blue alicorn rose high into the air, almost hitting the ceiling with her head. Her eyes radiated fury. An evil grin was plastered upon her face. She laughed and looked at me, then at her sister.

"FINALLY I HAVE ACHIEVED WHAT I HAS BEEN LONGING FOR FOR SO LONG!" a voice erupted from Luna's lips; though, it wasn't her voice.

I fell on my knees, for I knew whose that voice was.

At last, Luna looked at me with her blazing eyes.

"Hello, Doctor. It seems we meet again," she hissed.

I gulped and covered my forehead with a hoof. I gathered all of my courage to face what had always been quite a fearful enemy to me.

"Hello, Nightmare," I said.

***

So that's how it happened. I tried to reason the two, sure. I tried to address Luna, knowing very well that I would never reach her beneath the cavernous cover of Nightmare.

Finally, Celestia's anger took over her completely.

"That's enough!" she roared, sending another lightning bolt towards her sister. "Luna or Nightmare - whatever - you will lower the Moon now!" she yelled very royally.

"Oh, can you make me?" Luna wondered mockingly.

"That's it!" Celestia gasped. "Doctor! Bring me the Elements!" she demanded, not paying me a look.

"No, I won't! Are you mad?!" I replied, knowing the possible repercussions of such actions.

"GET THEM!" she roared, now looking at me, her gaze not so different from that of Luna's.

"NO I WON'T!" I yelled back in the same tone.

"Fine," she replied, suddenly calm. Then she vanished. I strained myself. So did the Nightmare.

And then she reappeared. But she was not alone. She had the Elements of Harmony with her.

"Who's in charge now?" she laughed and closed her eyes. So did I. So did Luna.

A bright flash enveloped the room - and she was gone.

Celestia landed onto the floor and the precious magical gems fell next to her. We looked in unison at the place where the blue Princess had just been.

It was an empty space.

We stood in silence for a few minutes, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

Celestia coughed.

"I'll see you at dinner." With that, she left the half-destroyed chamber.

***

I sat at table, silently chewing on my lettuce. Celestia was twice as silent, her head hung low, occasional sobs escaping her muzzle. The silence was thick enough to be cut with a knife.

I could clearly see that she was guilty. Who wouldn't be in her place, I wonder! Yet, something strange placed itself in her eyes, in her manner of behaving. She was determined and defended against the outside world, like a metal hedgehog.

"Don't you think that was too much?" I finally broke the silence. "Banishing our own sister to the Moon for a thousand years?" I wondered, taking a sip of tea. The delicious liquid warmed me up inside.

Celestia shook her head.

"She tried to overthrow me, Doctor!" she reasoned, not touching her plate.

"She was controlled by the Nightmare - a very powerful alien feeding upon ponies' magic," I replied, slicing a fresh apple. "Want some?" I asked, pointing at the fruit.

The white mare shook her head.

"I cannot tolerate treason, Doctor," she said solemnly. "Even if it comes from my own sister."

I chewed on the apple. To my displeasure, it wasn't half as delicious as apples used to be on my home planet.

"Isn't your regime all about love and tolerance?" I enquired, putting the remnants of the apple back on the plate. "Besides, it's your sister, Tia."

"So what?" Celestia's head jerked up. "I am a ruler beforehoof and only then a sister!" She sent me a cold glare.

"You could've let me reason her!" I started to lose my temper again. "I've dealt with aliens quite a lot, you know?"

"Why are you taking her side anyway?!" Celestia stood up suddenly. "She's not dead; the spell's cleansed her of that alien thing. It is for the better that she should think over her actions!"

"For a thousand years?!" I stood up as well. Anger started boiling in me.

"It's nothing for an alicorn!"

"Then why don't you banish yourself for a change, huh?" I shouted at the princess.

She gasped.

"Are you with her or with me?" she demanded sternly, looking at me with expectation in her eyes.

"I'm with justice," I replied, calming down. "And justice is at her side," I added.

Celestia huffed.

"In this case, I suppose, the righteous ones can sleep on the coach tonight," she said and took her seat once more.

An array of thoughts rushed through my head. I stood up at once, not comprehending what I was about to do.

"The righteous ones won't share the castle with you tonight," I replied and trotted towards the exit.

"Wait!" Celestia exclaimed, shocked. "Where are you going?"

I turned round to see her face, her beautiful face. I had a feeling it could be the last time I saw it so I tried to savour and remember the feeling.

Her eyes were gorgeous. There was a smidgeon of royalty in them and a hint of uncertainty. Her eyes begged for me to stay.

I begged to differ.

"To the TARDIS," I replied, opening the door.

"Will you come back tomorrow?" she asked hopelessly.

I smiled.

"It was fun while it lasted," I said bitterly. "Expect me in a thousand years, Tia," I added quietly, but loud enough for her to hear.

"Where will you be, Doctor?"

I smiled again.

"On the Moon," I said and left the castle, walking towards the depths of the forest, vanishing in the yet present night.

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"Why are you here? What do you want?"

"Chess."

"What?"

~~~

"It's bigger than it seems."

"That's totally what she said."

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 4)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 4)

***

I didn't remember exactly how I had found the TARDIS. I only remembered walking mindlessly, roaming about the forest, stumbling upon trees and rising again, eager to move, no matter what. I guess I had been in some kind of a drunken state. How had I been able to press all the needed controls was a big question to me.

Yet, here I was, standing on an unfamiliar surface, wondering how I had got here. It was strange that I'd never been to the Moon before. But nevertheless, the Moon welcomed me with deadly cold. It wasn't any beautiful, watching from this perspective. Apart from countless rocks and dust, I couldn't fins anything.

As I gained the last bits of my conscience, I realised it was foolish of me to call on Luna at such a time. Still, I couldn't do anything, fro my Time Lord sense told me it was the right thing to do.

Yes, we Time Lords have our kind of "Pinkie sense" too, by the way.

I resolved to come to terms with my inner self and decided to stay in the TARDIS overnight to talk to Luna in the morning.

If there were mornings on the Moon.

***

I opened my eyes. My head didn't ache; still, there was a heavy feeling inside. I reminded myself that Equestrian Moon had a very rarefied atmosphere. I found myself lying on a rock - I had been too tired to reach the TARDIS the day before. If it had been the day before. I couldn't tell - no sunlight fell onto the cold and unwelcoming surface.

So, without further hesitation, I set off on my quest to find Luna.

Which wasn't a long one, by the way.

In a matter of half an hour of exploring the planet (I know the Moon's not a planet but honestly, who cares? - Your Wise and Sagacious Time Lord) I heard quiet sobs coming from the distance. I rushed towards the source of the sound to see a blue filly curled up, sobbing to herself. I let out a sigh of relief as I saw that it was Luna's usual self. Celestia kept to her word: the Nightmare faded away.

Hearing me sigh, Luna raised her head and looked at me with fear in her eyes.

"Are you... Are you here to torture me?" she yelped. backing off.

"What?" I asked in a surprised tone. "I'm the Doctor, Luna. Don't you remember me?"

"You're an illusion, aren't you?" the blue alicorn whimpered. "A hallucination! Am I getting insane already?" she began to sob again.

I silently approached the filly and hugged her. She instinctively returned the embrace, still sobbing.

"Do I feel like an illusion?" I asked with a smile and planted a small kiss on her forehead, right below the horn.

Luna didn't smile back.

"You're real..." she whispered. "Did Tia send you?" she demanded with anger in her voice. Anger and... hope?

"No, I'm here by my own device," I replied as Luna broke the hug.

"Why are you here?" she asked a little sternly, yet not angrily. After all, I never played a part in her banishment. "What do you want?" she wondered partly demandingly, partly with childish - no, adolescent already - interest.

"Chess," I said plainly.

"What?" the filly asked. "What do you mean?"

"I still owe you that chess game," I explained with a smile and levitated a chessboard from my saddlebag. Never leave home without it!

The blue mare - only now I noticed that she turned into a fine mare from the filly she had been - chuckled and shook her head.

"Doctor, you never change," she whispered.

"Why should I?" I replied, grinning widely. "At least you have some company to keep you cheerful and all."

A single tear crawled down Luna's face as I placed the board on a large boulder.

She looked at me.

"Thank you, Doctor," she whispered. "Thank you for not abandoning me."

I felt a knot in my throat but fought the sudden urge to cry.

"You're welcome, Luna," I said and smiled. "You're welcome."

***

"That's not fair! I saw you move the King!"

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Now you may think low of me but I always stand up to a challenge. And if that filly was going to argue with me over my moving (or not moving) the King, I sure as hay wasn't going to back down!

"Did not with a cherry on top!" I yelled proudly and crossed my hooves.

Luna huffed.

"You are acting like a foal, Doctor," she pointed out.

"Whatever." I shrugged. "Still, I win," I said proudly.

"Well, that makes it... sixty-three losses and one victory for you," Luna counted with a smile. "Waaaay to go."

"I gave you a handicap," I said apologetically.

"Sixty-three times?" the mare wondered with an innocent, yet rather sly, grin.

I groaned and lay on back, crossing my hooves.

"All right, I lost," I admitted. "You happy?" I wondered, hoping that she would say 'yes'. I really wanted to make it up for the little alicorn.

"I'm sleepy," Luna replied simply. "You can't get enough sleep on these stones!" she whined.

"Would you prefer a bed or a sofa?" I enquired causally.

"Beg your pardon?" Luna asked as she moved closer to me.

"I have both in my TARDIS. It's kind of a telephone box, only a spaceship. You're welcome," I replied.

Luna's eyes widened and became teary.

"Really?" she whispered.

"Come on before I change my mind," I chuckled.

"Yay!" Luna hopped up and down, reminding me of the foal she had been.

"Only..." she stopped. "How are we going to fit in a small telephone box?" she wondered.

I smiled.

"It's bigger than it seems," I said proudly.

Luna snickered and muttered something.

"What was it?" I enquired, moving closer. "I haven't heard."

"That's-" Luna chuckled. "That's totally what she said," she managed to let out before bursting into laughter.

I facehoofed. At least Luna's sense of humour was better than that of her sister's.

***

As I opened the door of my blue telephone box, letting Luna in, the blue filly gasped in awe, looking over all the buttons and knobs and screens and everything I had.

"Told you it was bigger on the inside," I smirked but the alicorn paid no attention.

"Wow! So many buttons!" she yelped as she trotted across the TARDIS. "Mind if I-"

"I'd rather you didn't," I stopped the excited [strike]filly[/strike] mare with a hoof gesture. "It's all very fragile, you know?" I lied.

No, it wasn't fragile. Titanium isn't fragile, just for your information. I just don't like anypony messing with my stuff, simple as that.

"Oh, what's in this box?" Luna wondered, taking a small box. "nrop tfos... Hmm..."

"That's ancient gallopefreyan, okay?" I shouted, grabbing the box and hiding it somewhere Luna wouldn't find it.

Luna cocked her eyebrow.

"Oh, really? It sounds more like reversed so-"

"ANCIENT GALLOPFREYAN, 'KAY?!"

"Okay," the mare snickered. "Well, I didn't know you Time Lords had such awesome spaceships... timeships... what do you call them anyway?

"You could call it a time-spaceship," I suggested. "Wait a minute... How do you know I'm a Time Lord?!" I exclaimed, looking into her eyes.

"Overheard your talk with Celestia," Luna replied casually.

"All of it?" I asked hopelessly and blushed after a nod from the blue pony.

"Come on, Doctor!" she nudged me playfully. "I'm not a foal! I'm two hundred years old and I know about sex and stuff!" she said with a wink, making me blush even deeper and facehoof.

"Besides, my room is next to yours so I know much about sex and stuff!" Luna cheerfully exclaimed.

Now if only the earth... the Moon could swallow me...

"My room..." Luna suddenly whispered solemnly,

I placed a reassuring hoof on her shoulder.

"Don't let it bug you," I said with a smile. "As for now, let's go to sleep. Bed or sofa?"

"Bed, please," the blue mare said, the corners of her mouth twisting upwards ever so slightly.

"That's great! 'Cause I love sleeping on the sofa!" I said vigorously and showed Luna her bed, placing myself on the adjacent sofa.

"Good night, Luna."

"Good night, Doctor."

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"You're stepping on a dangerous and slippery ground, Luna."

"Isn't that what I've always been good at?"

~~~

"Will you be there for me, Doctor?"

"I will. I will stand right by your side."

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 5)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 5)

***

I lied, guys. I positively hated sleeping on the sofa. To begin with, it was small, hard and uncomfortable. Moreover, it was strange not to feel Celestia by my side. I had got used to her presence and, of course, I missed her dearly.

Just when I managed to get a few hours of uneasy, an ear-breaking, ground-shaking cry woke me up inside.

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP DOCTOR! IT'S A BRAND NEW DAY!" Luna exclaimed as she hopped on her bed (on my bed, mind you!) and then started shaking me.

"The sea ponies! They're here! SAVE YOURSELVES!" I yelled as I jerked up in bed (on the sofa. Not bed. The bucking sofa.) and looked towards the source of the sound. "Oh, hi Luna."

The blue mare cocked her eyebrow but chuckled as I waved at her friendly.

"What are we going to do?" Luna wondered, not stopping her bouncy route about the TARDIS.

"How about breakfast?" I suggested hopefully, feeling utterly hungry.

"How about jogging?" Luna suggested instead.

"But of course!" I said in fake enthusiasm. "Right after a good English break-"

"Let's go!" Luna cheered and grabbed me in her magical grip.

I sighed. I was getting used to being levitated. Really, guys, you can get used to anything.

There went my breakfast...

***

"Come on, Doctor! One more lap!" Luna insisted.

"I... can't... Just... leave... me... here..." I managed to let out before I fell on the ground, covering my head with my hooves. "My... hooves... so... tired..."

"Oh, come on!" the blue mare whined. "I thought you were more enduring!" she said disapprovingly as she looked onto my exhausted body.

"I'm enduring only in the bedroom," I muttered under my breath, trying to get up.

"What was it?" Luna wondered innocently.

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all!" I protested, finally gathering my strength to rise from the rocky surface. "Let's get back to TARDIS, shall we?" I suggested.

Luna silently nodded and we made our way towards the blue box, interrupted only by my stumbling upon occasional rocks.

"I've been wondering," Luna began carefully.

My ears jerked up.

"If this time-spaceship of yours can travel through time and space..." She gulped. "Maybe... just maybe it can help me... help us get out of here?" she asked. "The Moon, I mean."

I slapped my forehoof against my forehead.

"But of course!" I yelled and then mumbled some technical stuff you guys wouldn't like to know. "Sure, I've an idea how to get out of here!" I exclaimed and looked and the alicorn with admiration.

"It's strange that I haven't thought of it before," I admitted. "What a big brain you must have inside this cute little head of yours!" I complimented Luna.

"It's not the size of the brain but the wits that matter," she replied with a blush. "Besides..." She smiled. "I'm sure you have some big things as well, if Tia is to be believed..." she continued, drawing circles with a hoof. It's kinda hard on a rocky surface, mind it!

I knew she couldn't keep it to herself, I groaned mentally. "You're stepping on a dangerous and slippery ground, Luna," I said aloud in a scolding tone.

"Isn't that what I've always been good at?" Luna said with a mischievous smile.

"It so is," I grunted disapprovingly. Still, I couldn't be angry at the filly... mare. I always keep forgetting.

As soon as we reached the TARDIS, Luna opened the door impatiently and ran in.

"How..." I was shocked. "How did you manage to open the door?" I asked, gasping.

"Um... Turned the knob?" Luna replied, unimpressed.

I shook my head. Ancient Time Lords' magic is a fake, guys. Believe me. If any immortal alicorn princess can open it, what's the point of the enchantment?

Anyway, before Luna could press all the buttons in sight, I considered a pre-emptive strike. I pushed the blue mare away from the control board and pressed a few buttons.

Luna watched me with awe. I sighed.

"Now I need you to help me," I said, while Luna erupted with an ear-shattering cheer. "Pull this lever when I tell you."

Yes, I know I lied. I could've pulled it myself. But the girl was so desperate to help!

As Luna took her place near the lever, breathing with feeling of achievement, I counted to ten to build the tension and then yelled, "PRESS!"

And so she pressed.

Nothing happened. Luna looked at me with wide eyes.

"What's wrong, Doctor? I pressed the lever, as you said." Her eyes were becoming teary.

"Hmm... Try pulling it again..." I suggested, not sure what to do.

"Pull it or press it?" the blue mare specified.

"Pull, of course! Have you actually pressed it instead?" I wondered and facehoofed.

"Hey, you were the one who told me to 'PRESS!'," she parried, imitating my intonation perfectly.

"Shall we argue or shall we pull the lever and leave this place?" I replied, avoiding the argument.

Luna grunted and pulled the lever. A bright flash lit the telephone box from the inside. I smiled, for I knew what that meant.

"Allons-y, Luna! Hold tight, 'cause-" I began but a sudden pop noise interrupted me.

My vigour faded as fast as it had appeared. Luna, on the other hoof, couldn't see what was wrong so she held tight, just as I'd ordered her.

I sighed.

"Anything wrong?" the blue mare asked with a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

I shook my head.

"The barrier, Luna. Celestia had established a powerful magical barrier that's preventing us from space-travelling..."

The alicorn hung her head low.

"But you managed to get here somehow!" she reasoned, teary-eyed and desperate.

"Tia must have created the barrier after I had left..." I mused, rubbing my chin, gears in my head beginning to reel.

"You left her?" Luna gasped. "I thought you loved her!" she exclaimed.

"I couldn't put up with the fact that she had banished you to the Moon," I replied simply, not paying attention to the effect it caused.

And I should have, for something in Luna's head changed that moment - something that brought her closer to me and - I have to admit - brought me closer to her as well.

"You know..." I rubbed my chin so fervently that one could be afraid I would make a hole in it. "TARDIS is a time-spaceship so..." I clapped my hooves in a victorious motion. "We can travel to the day the barrier fades - a thousand years from now on! Better, a thousand and one year..." I mumbled, lost in thought, while I pulled and pushed some levers and pressed some buttons all around the place.

"Wouldn't it be easier to travel a few days to the past?" Luna wondered aloud.

"Hold tight, Luna, this time for sure!" I yelled and pressed a large green button.

A familiar flash filled the room, but this time accompanied by a shattering shake, as though the earth (or the Moon, for that matter) had just split.

"Whoa!" Luna cried, falling. Fortunately, onto me.

Ouch. Mental note: alicorns are heavy.

"Allons-y!" I shouted, throwing my hoof in the air.

"Why do you use this phrase? You're not French, you know?" Luna wondered.

"No, I'm not," I shrugged. "Still-"

The landing saved me from further explanations. With a loud thump, my faithful blue box landed somewhere.

As I opened the door, I saw it to be Canterlot's main square. It was crowded with ponies laughing and waving to each other. To my surprise, most of them even hadn't noticed the appearance of the TARDIS.

"After you," I said with a smile and let a shocked Luna out.

She looked around, astonished.

"Wow... It's beautiful! What is this town?" she asked me slowly, still looking around.

"Canterlot. A newly-built city," I replied, looking around as well. "And it looks like we're just in time." I smiled.

"GREETINGS, MY LOYAL SUBJECTS!" a voice echoed from the distance. Luna and I looked at the source of the sound in unison. On a large balcony of a magnificent castle stood a blue alicorn, her figure outstanding, her voice royal and majestic.

"That's... me?.." Luna whispered.

I nodded.

"See, everything will be fine. You'll rule Equestria one day," I assured her. "And you'll have a lot of colts after you!" I winked at her and nudged her playfully.

Luna gulped and sniffed.

"I need only one..." she whispered, loud enough for me to hear, looking at me lovingly.

I coughed and looked away in embarrassment.

"Luna, I'm afraid we must leave..." I began carefully.

"What? Why?" the little alicorn demanded. "I don't want to leave!" she stomped her hoof on the ground, immediately luring attention of a few ponies standing around us.

"Luna, come on." I grabbed her by the hoof and almost pushed her inside the box. "Such time-travelling could cause some disastrous repercussions!" I tried to reason the mare.

Luna huffed, visibly offended.

"Disastrous repercussions..." she said. "Like what?"

"Like the end of our Universe," I answered plainly.

Luna sighed and laid her head on her hooves.

"Look, Luna..." I approached her and hugged her. Luna's eyes went wide due to such a show of affection. "You've just seen the future. You know that everything would turn out well, right?" I asked and kept the mare in my embrace.

She returned it and nodded, swallowing tears.

"Will I... Will I meet it again?" she asked, looking into my eyes. "The Nightmare, I mean."

I sighed but decided not to lie.

"Yes. In a thousand years," I replied, making Luna shiver. "But you will overcome it. The magic of friendship will overcome everything," I assured her, although I wasn't entirely sure in the last statement myself.

"Will you be there for me, Doctor?" Luna asked hopefully, drilling my soul through pleading gaze fixed on my eyes.

"I will," I said firmly, looking at her seriously. "I will stand right by your side."

"Thank you..." she whispered. "It's all I need to know."

***

Hello. This is The Doctor. The Doctor from the present, I mean. I'm just about to end this chapter in my life, although I'm pretty sure I will never be able to end it this easily.

It isn't hard to guess what happened next.

Luna kissed me. At first, I was shocked but then decided that the world was enough of a crazy place for that to happen. We travelled in my TARDIS back to the Moon, a thousand and one year back. We talked. We laughed. We opened a bottle of finest wine. We got drunk. We slid under the covers of my cosy bed...

When Luna was fast asleep, I stood up and opened the door. Fresh air made me sober at once. I closed my eyes, contemplating the situation. I took my sonic screwdriver and charged it - I was too tired to cast magic myself. It was ready to perform only two spells - a basic one and a complicated one. Two was all I needed.

I levitated the unicorn, who shifted uneasily in her sleep, and took her outside. I laid her on one of the rocks. I took away the blanket, making her shiver.

"Doctor..." she mumbled.

I felt a tear crawl down my face. Still, to keep future from changing, I had to make sure the events would flow in the way they would have flown if I hadn't arrived at the Moon in the first place.

I sighed and closed my eyes.

One complicated spell.

I shut my eyes tight and pressed the button.

A bright flash erupted from the screwdriver.

I opened my eyes.

Luna was still lying on the rock; though now she was shifting uneasily.

"No, Tia, no, please..." she begged in her sleep.

I let out a heavy sigh.

The spell worked. Her memory was wiped clean of the recent events. She wouldn't remember my appearing on the Moon.

I wanted to approach her and kiss - at least on the forehead - but I knew it was too late. I couldn't leave any more signs of my presence here.

I entered my TARDIS, not looking back, leaving Luna behind, leaving her to suffer from loneliness.

One thousand years of loneliness.

***

Next on the Confessions!

A new story arc - *When the Time Lords Broke Free*!

~~~

"Where in Equestria am I?"

"Equestria? Just who *are** you, falling from the sky like that and asking about the country that ceased to exist long ago?"*

~~~

"Isn't life-saving something ponies do for free?"

"Not in this world, Doctor."

***

Author's note.

Well, that concludes this story arc. A new one is on the way!

Please comment and rate. *RATE*, okay?!

Peace.

When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 1)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 1)

***

Have I ever told you how much I love randomness? Randomness is the key to success. The Universe works in most chaotic ways, so do I. So do all Time Lords. Which reminds me...

I love randomness to a certain extent. When you wake up in an unknown time and space, on an unknown planet, without being sure what physical form you've taken recently, that's one kind of randomness. When you open your eyes and see yourself on the edge of the roof of a fifteen-storey building, that's another kind of randomness, the one I do not love.

Unfortunately, that morning was the one of those mornings when I woke up exactly on the roof of a fifteen-storey building, on the very edge. As a courageous pony who always takes pride in his bravery, I did what any manly stallion would do in such a situation.

I screamed on the top of my lungs in an extremely high-pitched tone, which instantly reminded me of the infamous Cutie Mark Crusaders Opera Singers (YAY!). I felt my hooves (Wow, I'm still a pony! Cool! Ponies are cool!) pointlessly try to grab at the slick surface of the steel roof. I was inevitably sliding down and the only thing that could save me right now was-

"Hang on!" a voice appeared from nowhere, its owner grabbing me by the hoof as I fell down. losing my grasp on the edge.

When I opened my eyes, which I'd squinted in fear (Yes, we Time Lords do fear things occasionally), I saw a very familiar pony standing above me, looking into my eyes.

I looked around, only to see that I was lying on the floor of a big flying thing that seemed to me like a huge airship made of finest sailcloth and copper.

How does that thing even *fly*? I wondered, looking over the vehicle. Several steam motors were struggling to work properly, the digits on the manometers going off-scale.

"Pinkie? Do you care to explain?" I shouted as I looked at the familiar pink pony, whom I'd met the very day before in Ponyville. "And what's with the strange disguise? Another party in planning?" I wondered as I looked over Pinkie. She was wearing a really bizarre top hat and a peculiar brown garment, which was elaborately decorated and looked quite expensive.

"Beg your pardon?" she asked with a frown. "Do you not like my outfit?" She seemed genuinely offended. "And, by the way, my name is Pinkamena. Miss Pinkamena, if you may," she concluded disapprovingly.

I immediately realised that my wonderful TARDIS had taken me to a different parallel universe. Not that it didn't happen every few weeks or so... Let's just say I wasn't surprised in the slightest. So I proceeded with the only question that would make sense in such a situation:

"Where in Equestria am I?"

"Equestria?" Pinkie asked, tilting her head. "Just who are you, falling from the sky like that and asking about the country that ceased to exist long ago?"

Ceased... to exist?...

It seemed that I was indeed in a parallel universe, and Pinkie surely wasn't Pinkie, and neither were her friends (who also happened to be my friends), and they didn't know me at all, and Equestria was no more...

In such situations, I usually boarded my TARDIS and travelled back to sweet Ponyville where I could relax in the familiar atmosphere with the ponies I knew (and which knew me)... until some crazy stuff happened, that is.

I'm getting old, aren't I?..

*Sigh*

Anyway, I would've acted in the exact same way, if it weren't for one thing. One little thing that could be left unnoticed if it weren't so important.

I didn't know even the slightest location of my TARDIS.

And I was in a strange metal airship above a strange place with a strange pony (who apparently was an alternate-universe Pinkie Pie) staring at me as if I had just offended her clothes...

Oh, wait, I totally did.

"The Doctor. Do call me Doctor," I replied, getting up and shaking Pinkie's hoof. "As for now... Where am I?"

Pinkie humphed and shook her head.

"I've enough doctors round here..." she grunted. Then, her frown turned into a grin - not into the brand Pinkie grin, beaming and happy, but into an evil, sinister grin of a maniac blessed with money and power.

"Take a look..." she said, opening the heavy brass jalousie.

I looked out of the illuminator.

"...at my patrimony, so to speak..." she continued.

An enormous city appeared before my eyes. Tall skyscrapers spread themselves all around the place. Steam vehicles, both the flying ones and those resembling cars and trains, moved to and fro in the hectic pace of life. Most of the ponies I was able to see from this height were dressed as ridiculously as Pinkie, just maybe not in such expensive garments. Steam was covering almost all of the sky and the ground, coming out of all devices and vehicles that could be seen.

"The Smile Empire!" Pinkie finally exclaimed.

"The Smile... Empire?" I weakly repeated, gazing at the steam-covered metropolis.

Now that was definitely interesting. My fatigue vanished in an instant. Pinkie Pie, the Emperor? I mean, the Empress. However... if it's Pinkie Pie we're talking about, she can be an Emperor too...

"Yes, my Empire," the pink earth pony confirmed with a proud smile.

I looked at her regal face and shook my head.

"Pinkie... You were so much better as a professional party-thrower..." I grunted.

"What are you even talking about?" she replied with a disdainful frown. "Besides... I still expect you to pay back for my saving your life. I prefer bits, if it is bits you have."

I raised my brow and huffed.

"Isn't life-saving something ponies do for free?" I wondered curiously. "For getting the respect of the society and a feeling of achievement and stuff?"

"Not in this world, Doctor," Pinkie said with a smile.

She was so right. Not in this world. Or, better to say, not in this parallel universe.

"Well, you see, I'm quite short of money, heh..." I said quietly, scratching the back of my head with an uneasy smile. If I ever had some experience, it told me that such situations always change for the worse.

And damned I be if they did not.

"Oh, that's fine! Rarity would love to have another slave at her factory!" Pinkie cooed cheerfully, waving her hoof in the air.

"Another... what?" I asked and staggered back, estimating whether I would die completely or only partially if I fell from such a height. "Is slavery even legal around here?"

"Well, so long as I am the one making laws here..." Pinkie pondered for a moment. "But we tend to call slaves 'wage labourers’ now. So you'll be a wage labourer for Rarity!" she concluded.

"Oh, that's great..." I mumbled, backing to the door of the airship. "I'd love to..." I reached the bronze knob with a hoof and turned it.

"Later!" I shouted, jumping out of the flying vehicle, into the unknown.

***

For a moment, I thought I would die. No, really. Falling from such a height was more than enough to make a good, well-baked Time-Lord-flavoured cake.

I chuckled in mid-air. For those who're immortal dying is pretty fun, actually. It's like closing your eyes and waking up in another dimension. Or something. I don't know for sure - ask Master, he'd told me.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!"

I felt a pair of hooves grab me and hold tight. A bit too tight to my liking, I'd say. Nevertheless, those wonderful hooves carried me towards the solid ground. As soon as my hooves touched the ground, I fell on my knees and kissed it in a very strange fashion.

Brass?

I felt brass on my lips as I kissed the ground, and that made me jerk up and look around. The ground was made of bronze.

The cyan pegasus that had saved me looked at me suspiciously, her gaze asking me, What the hay are you doing?

I proceeded to hug the mare.

"Rainbow Dash! I'm so happy you saved me!" I exclaimed, feeling her rainbow-coloured mane tickle my nose.

The cyan pony backed off at once, sending a cold glare towards me.

"Who are you? Where do you know my real name from?" she hissed angrily. "One of Pinkie's agents, huh?" she said a little louder.

"Oh, so they do call her Pinkie!" i exclaimed in a victorious tone. It's always great to know you were right, isn't it?

"Who. Are. You." the mare hissed as she took three firm steps towards me, emphasising each word, never breaking the gaze.

"The name's Doctor, a Time Lord by occupation," I replied, trying to enchant Rainbow Dash with my brand Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM]. To no avail, as usual. I'd thought that maybe - just maybe, since we were in a parallel universe and all - she would react to it. Unfortunately, she was still fully lesbian. Either that or my tricks didn't work in this universe. Or on mares. Or anypony.

Now that I think about it, they never worked...

"And what kind of occupation is that?" She smirked, still on guard.

"Well, not to brag, but I travel through Time and Space and save universes... That kind of stuff, you know?" I said nonchalantly.

"Oh, really?" Rainbow asked with a grin. "You expect me to believe that?"

I maintained a non-amused expression.

"Of course not, Rainbow Dash, the fastest flyer in all of Equestria, the only pegasus who's ever performed a Sonic Rainboom... Twice," I said, trying to hit the sweet spot.

The cyan mare shrugged.

Damn it, wrong universe... No sonic rainbooms here or whatsoever...

I sighed.

"Also, you're gay."

Rainbow Dash gasped.

"How'd you know?"

I smiled.

Bulls-eye.

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"But what makes *you** so special?"*

"I am the last pegasus left in this world."

~~~

"I slept with her to gain information, nothing more!"

"But you enjoyed it?"

"One more word and I'm gonna kick you in the face."

"Got it. ...Oh, wait, it's two words already."

When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 2)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 2)

***

"Well, who doesn't know Rainbow Dash, the gayest lesbian in all of Eque- the world," I corrected myself as I remembered that this world was a little different.

"How about... nopony?" she replied, giving me a cold glare. "How do you know my name?" she enquired once more.

I shrugged with a smile.

"Travelling through Time and Space has its benefits, you know?" I said, rubbing my chin mockingly.

Rainbow swore and spit on the ground.

"Damn you, how long will you be playing dumb?!" she hissed angrily.

"Dunno, it's part of my daily routine," I replied, being in quite a good mood, due to having been saved from certain death twice in a day.

The cyan pegasus groaned and facehoofed.

"Are you really that dumb or Pinkie told you to behave in such a way?" she wondered, still glaring daggers towards me.

I sighed.

"Listen, Rainbow Dash, if I really were an agent of Pinkie's, would she have thrown me from her whatever-it-is flying thing?" I tried to make a point.

"Well, if you were a bad agent..." she pondered, rubbing her chin hesitantly.

"If I were a bad agent, I wouldn't have been sent to spy on you, right? Ergo, I am not an agent at all," I concluded with the Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM].

Rainbow snickered into her hoof.

"Don't know what that 'Ergo' stuff means but you sure have a goofy smile," she said with a chuckle.

Pop.

That's the sound of my self-esteem dying, popping like a toy balloon.

"I'll trust you for the time being..." she continued. "But if you really are fighting for Pinkie, I'll have you killed," she concluded cheerfully.

"Wha-?" I tried to ask but decided that it would be better not to enquire deeper. "Anyway..." I coughed. "Believe me or not but I have come from a very different parallel universe and I haven't the slightest idea what is actually going on around here. What's the big deal with Pinkie? Isn't she, like, a party-thrower?"

The pegasus frowned.

"A party-thrower? You must have really come from some bucking crazy parallel something-or-something 'cause Pinkie hates fun. Miss Pinkamena wants you to smile!" she obviously quoted something in Pinkie's voice.

She spit on the ground again.

"Bucking capitalist," she said and got lost in thought for a second.

"And... who are you?" I wondered. "I mean, here, in this universe. Because where I come from you're a member of the Wonderbolts. a famous flyer and stuff," I continued, resolving to be completely honest around the mare. At least she saved my life.

For free, in addition.

"Hmm... That sounds quite good but I'm awesome enough as it is," she replied confidently.

At least her character was much the same here.

"Here, I lead the Resistance. Everypony knows it but nopony has known me by name before," she carried on. "I'm interested in you, Doctor. Special ponies need to keep together, right?"

I shrugged, being in the mood for some mockery.

"Oh, I am special indeed, being a Time Lord and all," I said. "But what makes you so special?" I wondered, examining my hoof lazily.

Rainbow Dash sighed deeply. I looked at her immediately. It seemed that I had offended her in a way, or just brought about an uneasy subject. I almost felt bad.

Almost.

I looked around as uneasy silence occupied its place between the two of us. The world around looked very simple, yet elaborate. It seemed as though the whole world was made of different kinds of metal and all the vehicles (which were rather strange, resembling Pinkie's) were powered not by gasoline or magic but by steam. And, of course, the ponies' clothing was really bizarre.

It was at that moment that I noticed that Rainbow Dash was completely naked (as ponies should be, mind it!), while my tie had got lost somewhere. It was a pity - I really liked the green one.

Finally, the mare broke the silence.

She gulped and lowered her head solemnly.

"I am the last pegasus left in this world."

***

I would have most certainly bombarded Rainbow Dash with questions the next instant, if it were not for the fact that suddenly a loud sound of sirens covered the city around us. The ponies in the streets started running towards the nearest buildings, trying to hide themselves.

"The smile patrol!" Rainbow Dash gasped and grabbed me by the hoof. "We must away!"

Believe me or not but a mind of a Time Lord is a strange thing. Being dragged by the hoof in an unspecified direction, I couldn't think of anything else but the strangeness of the cyan mare's phrasing.

Being flown while being dragged by the hoof towards the unknown, with no solid ground beneath my hooves, I couldn't help thinking, Did Rainbow Dash really use such an old-fashioned phrase?

I mean, really. We must away? Sounds like Hoofscar Wylde to me.

I snapped out of those thoughts when Rainbow Dash yelled at me,

"Come on, you piece of fat! We're above a cloud! I can't hold you any longer so drink the bucking elixir!"

I smirked. A cloud-walking elixir? Really, Rainbow Dash? Too bad that in this dimension she didn't know I could cast magic. Yet.

My cutie mark glowed as I cast a simple cloud-walking spell and let go of Rainbow, who screamed, thinking that I was going to commit suicide in some strange and classy way.

To her surprise, I landed on a cloud, stretching my limbs casually.

"You going to land or what?" I wondered with a fake yawn.

The cyan mare's eyes widened as she landed on the same cloud, inspecting me carefully.

"By Celestia's beard! You can cast magic!" she gasped, awestruck.

"You don't say," I replied, investigating my hoof in disinterest.

"How- how is that possible?" the pegasus stammered as she hopelessly tried to find any sign of a horn on my forehead.

"Being a Time Lord has its benefits," I served my usual reply. "As for now..." I coughed. "Mind telling me what that 'the last pegasus' stuff was all about?"

Rainbow Dash gave me a sad smile.

"It's easy as that, Doctor. The last of the Mohicans." She chuckled and shook her head. "That's what makes me special - those wings of mine." She flapped her wings. They were glorious, muscular and visibly strong; yet, there was an ugly scar on one of them. I decided it for the better not to enquire further.

"Yes, I'm special." Her head suddenly jerked up, her eyes radiated virtuous anger, her voice turned firm, with a metallic sound added to it.

I stood there in amazement, looking at the once cheerful and insolent slacker, who now was a mare made of steel, a mare of might and experience. Changing universes really brings its changes, you know?

"I'm special," she repeated. "But so are you." She looked at me estimatingly. "You will be helpful."

And, as always, my stubborn personality enveloped my brain.

"And why would I want to help you? I just want to get back home."

"I saved your life."

Oh, that. Sure, Rainbow Dash made a point, of which I immediately informed her.

"You've a point, RD," I said with a nod.

She raised her brow.

"Never call me that again, and we're good," she stated coldly.

I shrugged.

"Whatever you say, RD."

Time Lords are trolls by nature, if you still haven't realised.

Rainbow Dash grunted.

"I didn't know you were so different here, in this world," I said. "I even take the liberty of saying you never slept with Applejack here," I concluded with a chuckle.

Seeing Rainbow turn red, I immediately understood that I hit the sweet spot once more for that day. Aren't I just lucky?

"Oh, so you did?" I laughed light-heartedly.

"I slept with her to gain information, nothing more!" the cyan mare protested.

"But you enjoyed it?" I parried.

Rainbow Dash frowned.

"One more word and I'm gonna kick you in the face," she said very seriously.

"Got it. ...Oh, wait, it's two words already."

You know that feeling when a hoof is shoved down your throat? I hope you don't, for it is an entirely unpleasant experience...

"What are you doing, by the way?" I groaned, rubbing my face. "Information? Smile Patrols? Evil Pinkie? What's the bucking matter with you ponies? What happened to love and tolerance and stuff?"

Rainbow let out a solemn chuckle.

"Love and tolerance died with Equestria. I don't know much about it: I was born to the Smile Empire already. But I know one thing." The once present flash lit itself in her eyes once more. "I will fight Pinkie's capitalist regime until I die. As long as there's a single pony slaving for her Empire, my job's not done."

She looked at me with a firm, fixed gaze. I returned it, realising the importance of the matter. We Time Lords are used to changing the mood, you know?

"So... Pinkie's exploiting ponies' labour... and what's your role in all of this? Were you a slave or something? A runaway slave?" I speculated.

Rainbow shook her head.

"No. I never worked for the Empire. I'm a pegasus. A pegasus with no family, no past, no knowledge of my own history." She looked up to the burning sun and quickly covered her eyes. "I was adopted but the Smile Patrol took me away. The only pegasus for generations..." Rainbow Dash sighed and stopped for a moment.

I didn't break the silence, thinking the situation over. Now my usual playfulness left me and I tried to delve deeper into the matter. As deep as I could.

"They experimented on me," the cyan pegasus carried on. "I was unique- I am unique," she corrected herself, gathering some courage. "See this scar?" She spread her wings once more. "That's only one of the many signs of the torture I had to undertake. For being different. For being who I am."

I felt pride in Rainbow's voice and I couldn't help but notice how all of that appealed to my best friend (and rival) - Master. He begged to differ, too. And suffered for it.

Rainbow Dash looked at me again.

"I'm going to put Pinkie's regime to an end. Are you with me?" She extended her hoof.

I looked at her, then at her hoof. Then, silently, I stepped forward and shook the hoof.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"You hold any grudges against Socialists?"

"I am British. Does that answer your question?"

"Um... no?"

~~~

"Thus, I am in no position to let you go, for the disturbance you happened to have brought upon is unforgivable. Please follow my leading, lady and gentlecolt."

"...Big Mac? Is that really you?"

Order of Chaos

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Order of Chaos

***

Good day. This is the Doctor. I mean, the Doctor from the present. I mean, from the future. I mean, from the future relative to the events descried before. (I think that makes sense...)

Guess what? Here's another interlude for you! I know you love them! Or you probably don't.

One way or another, you'll have to read further. This time, I won't be tiring you with especially long and tangled philosophical matters.

This is just a story of how I met it. How I met him.

The absolute ruler of the Universe. Chaos.

Discord.

***

He appeared out of nowhere, like he had always done. I would find out about it later; now, I was walking through Canterlot Gardens, back to the present, mentally contemplating what I had done. It had been merely a day since I had left Luna on the Moon - or, so it seemed to me. In reality, and not without help of my TARDIS, it had been over a thousand years.

Luna was back. She was happy. Celestia was happy. They embraced me and let me in, they gave me shelter and comfort, forgiving me for whatever I had done.

Then why did I feel sadness beneath? Why were my eyes teary and why was there a lump in my throat, which prevented me from gulping?

I looked around, admiring the sculptures of the past. There were mares and stallions, colts and fillies, dragons and griffins. Perfect work of perfect sculptors of the past. There was one statue, however, that drew my attention. I approached it and stared at it for a while.

Discord.

I had heard stories about him. About it. The God of Chaos - master of entropy, king of randomness... The ruler of the greatest force in the Universe. The ruler of chaos.

I gulped, for I was afraid even to meet his statue face to face, not to mention he could probably still see me throw his stone prison. Or feel me, which would be even worse.

But I was so broken, so shattered.

"I did a bad thing," I said suddenly, addressing the statue. My words were simple and they sounded like the words of a colt who was apologising before his mother. But my sin was simple as well - not only had I left Luna alone for a millennium, but I had also wiped clean all memories that could make her imprisonment at least slightly more bearable, if not better.

Discord didn't answer. The statue was silent. But my brain was working for two now. It was as if I were possessed by a spirit, only by my iwn device and by my own will.

Your will? And how do you know what you want? the voice wondered. It felt strange: it was as if somepony... someone else was speaking, but still I knew it was me.

"I..." I looked at the statue and sighed. "I don't know any more," I said aloud.

Does it really matter?

"Huh?" My ears perked up and I eyed the statue cautiously. "What do you mean - does it matter? I let down a friend, and a close one."

Yes, you did. But my point is - does it matter?

"I..." I stammered, not knowing what to say. "I think it does... I... I did something bad. Something irreversible. Something that brought sadness and pain." I thought my reasoning was solid.

Sure, in the sense that you ponies understand sadness and pain... the voice (all right, now I know it was Discord; I just didn't know how he had got into my head) whispered, elaborating. But you are a Time Lord. You know that if you hadn't done this in this Universe, you would have done it in another universe. And vice versa.

I gulped and nodded in understanding. Sure, for every action taken there is an action untaken; and the other way round.

"But... I feel bad about it..." I said with a sigh, confessing my feelings to the stone statue.

Do you really feel bad? Or you *think** that you feel bad?*

I pondered for a moment. "I... feel bad," I concluded. "I blame myself for it."

How can you be sure of it? Maybe you *think** that you feel bad but in reality, objectively...* Discord stopped for a second to put emphasis on what he was going to say next, ...you may feel happy? Or angry? How can *you** know?*

Now I really felt angry. "Because I feel it, that's how! And I know!"

Oh, really? You think you know the objective? See, you *think** you know the objective. But in reality, you may either know it or not. Or both. And maybe somewhere... you really know it. Or you think you do. Or both. Or neither.*

"Stop it!" I grabbed my head with my hooves.

Oh, why should I? I almost felt Discord laughing inside my head. I can tell much more about reality!

"You're talking about reality?" I replied, looking at the statue grimly. "How can you know that you know reality?"

Now the voice really laughed. I know that I know! Or I don't. Or both. Or I think that I know. Or I'm just telling you all of this to play with your mind. Or mine. Or all of this. Or none. Discord laughed again. Not that I care. Or I do. Who knows?

I groaned in mental pain. A headache was slowly approaching me. "Then all of it doesn't matter?" I asked.

I don't know. Or maybe I do, Or maybe I just don't know that I do. Maybe all of it matters. Maybe not. Maybe both.

I rose to my hooves. "But if I deicide that it matters?" I wondered.

And how can you know if you've decided? Maybe it just seems to you that you've decided? Maybe the objective works in such a way in this Universe that you simply *haven't decided on anything? Or even haven't thought that you decided, or thought about thinking and so on*? Or it works differently. Chaos, you know? he chuckled.

I felt determination burning inside me. "In this case, may it be right or wrong, real or not, existent or non-existent..." I looked up, trying to read Discord's eyes. "I'll still be helping ponies. And people. And everyone who needs my help."

I clenched my teeth. "Because I am a Time Lord. And even though you are right, I will find my meaning in all of this. And, to begin with, I will go to Luna and give her a big, honest hug. Right now."

There was silence in my head for a while.

I see. Well, do as you may. Just remember that nothing really matters.

I sighed, despite my determination.

"I know." I shook my head. "I know better. I'm a Time Lord, after all. Somehow, everything happens and nothing happens. At the same time."

I gulped and pondered for a moment.

"I know that if I don't do something, I still do. And if I do something, I don't. While in some universes, I'm proud that I've done something in this very universe, I'm ashamed of the same thing in others. While here it's different for me to comprehend... or it seems so..." I thought about it a bit. "...or I think that it seems so - or some other crazy thing - it may be easy somewhere else."

I turned my back on the statue.

"But you know what? I do what I think is right." I looked at the God of chaos. "If that is what I think."

I began trotting away, feeling as bad I had felt some time ago.

Time Lord? I felt the voice in my head ask again, very quietly, for I was increasing the distance between the statue and myself.

I stopped for a second.

If you want to talk, you can always come to me.

I nodded silently.

Somehow, I had just developed the meaning of my life. No, not found it but developed it myself.

I will live to live.

Help to help.

Do to do.

"I will," I said and, with that, trotted towards the castle. I still had a hug to give.

***

Author's note.

Never in my life would I have thought that I could sum up the chapter in one word.

And that word is

**Mind-fuckery.

Peace.

When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 3)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 3)

***

"That's great," Rainbow chuckled as soon as we've made a symbolic pact of shaking hooves.

That reminded me of medieval knights making establishing firm unions to fight their common enemy, usually some ancient evil or something of the kind.

"As for now..." I replied, looking around. "We're safe..."

There was a hint of uncertainty in my voice but it vanished as the cyan mare confirmed my speculation with a nod of her own.

"In a while, we'll be able to come down," she said.

She lay on the cloud in a familiar Rainbow-Dash manner, the cloud beneath her head, her hooves crossed, a confident smirk on her face. I almost felt nostalgic.

I followed her, lying on the cloud, although in a more graceful manner (at least, that's how it seemed to me).

"So tell me, Rainbow Dash, how are you going to fight the regime, I wonder?" I asked lazily. "Some resistance movement?"

Rainbow nodded, without opening her eyes.

"Kind of. It all started with an underground trade union," she began her tale, while I prepared to listen. "When I ran away from the laboratory, I hid. I hid well. But, nevertheless, there were ponies who found me: - slaves. Workers." Rainbow Dash opened her eyes and blinked. "At first, I was suspicious. But then... Then I felt unity with everypony who was an enemy of the Empire. Those ponies became my allies. My friends. My family."

I saw a single tear crawl down the pegasus' face. She gulped and closed her eyes again.

"We were chased. The Patrol took many of them. I always escaped. I flew away. Every time..." she paused. "I could surrender along with my friends. But I flew away. They say they need me. I wonder if I need me..."

I felt sympathy for the cyan pony but resolved to hear the story till the end.

"I changed my name. I tried to make the Resistance movement as conspiratorial as possible... And still, we've much to achieve. Because nopony can cast magic. Nopony but you." At this point, she glanced at me.

"Are there no unicorns?" I wondered, ready for any answer.

"Oh no," the mare chuckled. "There are plenty of those; the only extinct race is pegasi. Magic itself had faded away long before Equestria perished. If we had magic at our side, we would've had more chances to overthrow the Empire... And now we have it. We have you," she concluded.

"Hmm... And what do you presume to do after your revolution?" I enquired, bringing forward my freedom of doubt once more.

Rainbow Dash jerked up. Her eyes shone with vigour and passion. I was almost afraid of her energetic gesticulation as she outlined her plans for the future.

"We'll build a republic - a state for the working ponies!" she exclaimed. "A state where the working class will rule. A state with no slavery and no bucking capitalists like Pinkie and Rarity and Applejack and-" suddenly, she burst into a fervent fit of coughing. I could see tears streaming from her eyes.

When she came round, she let out a weak smile.

"Being experimented on has its repercussions..." she said quietly.

I tried not to elaborate on the topic.

"Doesn't that sound too... Socialist?" I wondered.

"You hold any grudges against Socialists?" Rainbow Dash replied disapprovingly.

"I am British. Does that answer your question?" I said with a proud look plastered upon my face. I vote Conservative!

Not really. I vote Time Lord. But still, I'm rather conservative, for a time-travelling pony.

Now that I think of it, I must've looked really silly at the moment.

"Um... no?" she said, looking at me strangely. "I even don't know what 'British' means."

"Never mind it," I said with a sigh. "I just don't believe in equality."

"Well, I do," Rainbow replied sternly. "And that's enough."

After a few moments of uneasy silence, I suggested we go down. Rainbow agreed and urged me to mount her again to descend.

Now there were times when I would 'mount' a dozen of mares every day... Sometimes even two dozens... Mmmm...

Anyway!

I hopped onto Rainbow's back, I let her carry me down. Needless to say, she was flying fast. Too fast, in my opinion.

But who ever asked for my opinion, anyway?

As my hooves touched the copper ground once more, confidence returned to me with a victorious cheer. Standing on the solid ground was way better than being flown, at least for us earth ponies. I mean, Time Lords. You tend to get used to the body you're currently in, you know?

Without losing time (and probably due to her natural lack of patience), Rainbow nudged me, making me grunt disapprovingly.

"Anything the matter?" I asked, looking around, trying to spot the so-called 'smile patrol'. There was no sign of it anywhere.

Rainbow Dash shook her head disapprovingly, as if I were a child to whom she was trying to explain something utterly simple and who was failing to understand even such basic concepts.

"We need to make it to HQ until the smile patrol is out again," she said, stretching her wings. it was a rather beautiful sight, and I found myself staring at her shamelessly.

"Like what you see?" She smirked, tossing me a wink. I rolled my eyes. Well, at least in this universe her self-esteem was just as high as in the one I was from. Or even higher.

"Where exactly are the headquarters?" I wondered, looking around again. Considering all those steel and copper buildings, it was hard to hide a whole rebellion movement somewhere nearby. Not to mention that those smile patrols were probably not a rare sigh here.

Rainbow glanced at me, unamused. "Underground, duh."

Oh well. True, a place for an underground movement would be underground... under the ground, so to speak... There was only one hitch, however, and I didn't hesitate to voice my concern.

"How are we going to get there?"

"Through the underground gate, of course!"

Oh, well, again. Somehow, such a thought never struck me.

I sighed. "Is it far away?" I wondered, with dying hope in my voice.

"No, it's not," the cyan pegasus replied, igniting hope inside me once more. "For a pegasus," she added with a grin.

And here goes my hope again. "I'm not going to ride you," I said, mentally preparing for a long trip on the good old hooves of mine.

"Hehe, that's what he said!" Rainbow Dash laughed, falling on her back. I followed her with a casual, slightly bored, glance.

"First of all, that's what I said..." I told the pegasus, while she was busying herself with getting up from the floor. "And, secondly, you're missing the point of the joke."

With a grunt, Rainbow Dash rose to her hooves and extended her wings.

"So, we're going or not?"

***

"I can't make it any further!"

I was exhausted. I had been dragging my sorry hooves through the bronze terrain and steely plains, copper mountains and-

"Come on, Doctor! It's been only two miles!"

Well, maybe it wasn't that far. But we Time Lords are especially respected for whining. Or are we despised for it? I tend to forget...

One way or another, I needed rest, And so I told the cyan pegasus, who was blissfully soaring above me. It didn't take her any effort to hover, keeping my turtle-like pace. Oh, and, by the way, we Time Lords are also respected for our modesty. Just so you know.

"Damn it, Doctor, and what if the smile patrol catches up to us?" the pegasus wondered with concern in her voice.

I laughed at her light-heartedly, obviously more familiar with the reality than she was. "Oh, come on, Rainbow Dash! I've been around for a while and all patrols are stupid enough to-"

"In the name of Happiness and Laughter, I order you to stop!"

Okaaaay... Maybe not all patrols were that stupid... I felt something sharp pressing into the back of my neck and gulped. The smile patrol. Damn it. I looked up to get at least some suggestions from Rainbow Dash, who was still hovering above, eyeing something behind me. I was wise enough not to move at all, so I couldn't see the ponies that Rainbow's gaze was fixed on.

"You are part of the rebellion against the Empire," the same low voice resonated from behind my back. That stallion (or a mare who'd caught a severe cold) was certainly in no mood for joking. Just as I thought it, he himself appeared before me, while somepony else was still holding a knife or something of the kind pressed into my neck.

"Thus, I am in no position to let you go, for the disturbance you happened to have brought upon is unforgivable. Please follow my leading, lady and gentlecolt," the stallion concluded with a nod.

My eyes widened in surprise. Before me stood a tall, muscular earth pony with a relatively short yellow mane. A green apple rested on his flank - his cutie mark.

"...Big Mac?" I gasped. "Is that really you?"

"Macintosh Apple," Big Mac said disapprovingly, reminding me of Pinkie - Pinkamena.

And then something happened - something that I couldn't get at all.

"I'm sorry, Doctor..." With that, Rainbow Dash, the element of Loyalty, took off and vanished in the blue sky, leaving me alone.

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"Whoa whoa whoa! That's a dimensional gun here! Are you sure you know how to use it?"

BLAM!

"Well, I guess you do..."

~~~

"Rainbow? Where have you been?"

"Erm... Napping?"

When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 4)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 4)

***

Well, here I was, once again a prisoner. Well, not yet - but I soon would be one, for now I was being escorted by four ponies armed with quite fearsome guns, which prevented me from trying to escape. I was still dumbfounded both by Big Macintosh's attitude (come on, he said more words in one sentence than I'd ever heard him say before!) and by Rainbow's betrayal. Though, I suppose that even though she was the Element of Loyalty in my parallel Universe, she could simply be the Element of Betrayal in this one. Or maybe there were no Elements here whatsoever...

That brought me to an uneasy thought - a thought I'd tried to avoid: How exactly did I end up here? Where was my TARDIS? And, most importantly, why hadn't I predicted such an outcome? Were there universes that were protected even from Time Lords' insight into them?

"Move along!" One of the patrol ponies, a white unicorn, nudged me, prompting me to delay my speculations for another time in the future. Or in the past. Hell, I even didn't know what time I was in!

Though, I moved faster, keeping my head low, my gaze fixed on the bronze ground. I missed grass. I missed soil. I missed home. Damn it, I even missed Twilight! I believe that shows how homesick I was. I'd tried to talk to Big Mac... Macintosh Apple a few times but each time he pretended not to have heard me. So, I gave up any attempts.

The extent of my fatigue was so immense that I seriously considered falling down and letting those ponies shoot me. Hmm... Now that I thought about it... What guns were those guys holding? I turned my head towards the white unicorn and saw a very familiar weapon in his magical grip.

Holy transdimensional psycho tramps! That was a dimensional gun he was holding there! And, if you wonder what it is, it's a little gun, one shot from which can send a pony to a completely random time and location. How's that, huh? And, judging by how confidently the unicorn was holding the weapon in his magical grip, he surely knew how to use it. Well, damn my sorry flank and its ability to et me into trouble. However, if you think about it... could it be that Dash had got me into trouble? Maybe she was an agent of Pinkie's? But then what was the reason behind her saving me?

Maybe... Maybe Pinkie needed me for something?.. Perhaps...

My train of thought approached its station as we came up to the most bizarre building I'd ever seen. It resembled Carousel Boutique almost perfectly, with one exception: it was made of bronze. The whole building was made of bronze that shone in the midday sun, showing off a whole spectrum of the rainbow. Rainbow...

The building was stuffed with different kinds of steel pipes, black smoke erupting from them. I wondered idly whether ponies here cared about environment at all.

Big Mac approached the door and knocked gently. After a few seconds of hushed whining from behind, a very messy white unicorn opened the door, tossing her gorgeous purple mane to the side.

Rarity! I wanted to scream, but swiftly reminded myself that this Rarity was evil; or, at least, mildly cruel, being a supporter of Pinkie's regime and all, you know? I still had difficulty in understanding how in Equestria Pinkie Pie, of all ponies, would be an evil dictator. Well, I suppose that it had something to do with the fact that I wasn't in Equestria any more...

"Mistress Rarity, I am happy to inform you that we have a pleasure of bringing you a new wage labourer."

I blinked a few times. Hearing such words come out of Big Mac's mouth was like... well, hearing unladylike profanity from Rarity, I guess.

"Oh, that's wonderful~" Rarity said in a sing-song voice, dragging me in with her telekinesis. I obliged solemnly, being used to enduring under magic influence. How come? Well, Twilight - the real Twilight - had always been pretty... persuasive when it came down to making me work. Or doing some other difficult stuff which she, as a mighty unicorn, had completely no power to perform. Of course an earth pony like me would suit just any task far better!

...That was sarcasm, if you didn't get it.

Anyway, having been placed upon the cosy (oh, ever so cosy!) brass floor, I allowed myself to take a look around. Actually, the whole place didn't look like Carousel Boutique at all when it came to interior. In fact, it looked more like a large factory with dozens of ponies sitting by sewing machines, working their hooves out, so to speak. And here I was, thinking that only my TARDIS was bigger on the inside!

Speaking of TARDIS... Where the hay was it? It couldn't have been possible for me to end up in this crazy world on my own. Besides, TARDIS was my long-life companion... Never leave home without it! Surely that had either been some cruel misunderstanding or some intended action. But who would be interested in teleporting me from my universe to the dimension where, apparently, harmony had long died, while my own universe would be left in grave... danger... You know, I think I just answered my own question. Thank you and goodnight.

Oh, apart from the fact that it wasn't night and that Rarity was looking at me expectantly, and the sign Why aren't you working, slave? could be well read in her eyes. Now, don't get me wrong. We Time Lords are the most hard-working creatures in the Universe... well, not really, but still very hard-working and enduring. But when it comes down to working against our will... Let's just say, our rebellious nature shows off very well.

"Now, will you be a dear and take your place?" Rarity cooed, pointing her hoof towards an ugly corner where a copper carpet, which most certainly served as a sitting pillow for 'wage labourers', perfectly matched a rusty steel sewing machine.

I began slowly trotting towards the strange device, not having the slightest idea what to do. The gears in my head began turning. There were no guards in the room; that is, if posters with Pinkie's face on them didn't count as the guardians. The only armed pony in the room was Big Macintosh, who started having a lovely talk with Rarity.

Dammit. Big Mac. Having. A. Talk. What next? Talking rocks? Sea ponies?

I halted to a stop, eyeing the sla- wage labourers. Most of the, were exhausted, and in no condition to fight. Besides, I couldn't risk their lived, trying to charge Big Mac with my screwdriver...

My screwdriver!

MY SCREWDRIVER!

I realised that this universe was probably the most cruel I've ever been in. No TARDIS. No screwdriver. Slaver Rarity. Evil Pinkie. Talkative Big Mac. Could it get any stranger?

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

Apparently, it could. An explosion of light and colour splashed before the entrance, sending rainbow rays inside. Big Macintosh immediately took an offensive stance, while Rarity gasped and backed down. In an instant, a cyan pegasus entered the Boutique (a.k.a. Slave Factory), holding a weapon, which resembled a gun, in her muzzle. Not losing any time ('cause, you know, that's not the way of a Time Lord!), I rushed to help my loyal (after all) friend. But I needn't, for Rainbow Dash had pulled the trigger, pointing the gun at the red earth pony. The stallion vanished in an instant, as if he never were here.

I blinked. Rarity yelled in fear and ran away, pushing the pegasus mare aside, evading another shot of magical energy. The wage labourers just sat in awe, witnessing their mistress leave. I approached Rainbow, pinning her to the nearest wall.

"Hey!" she tried to protest, but instantly realised my motivation. Understanding that they were free, the slaves formed a long line (or, to be more exact, crowd), and galloped out of the Boutique with all speed, sending a fervent wind inside. I held the pegasus tight, preventing her (and me) from being stomped to the state of a pancake. Or worse.

When the trouble was gone, I let her go. The pegasus had spread her wings and was hovering above the copper floor. I wanted to thank her for coming to my rescue, but deep inside I was still mildly hurt by her leaving me before.

"Damn it, Rainbow!" I swore, trying to cast a disapproving glance. "Where have you been?" I demanded.

Rainbow Dash saw my confusion and rubbed her chin, pretending to be thinking.

"Erm... Napping?" she suggested with a grin.

I chuckled, unable to be angry at her any more.

"Thanks for saving me, by the way," I added, looking around, The place looked positively empty, aside from the posters on the walls.

"All in a day's work," she replied, as if it saving Time Lords was what she did on a daily basis.

And here was her mistake: opening her muzzle too wide, she dropped the gun on the floor. Seeing it, she quickly regained it, the barrel pointed at yours faithfully.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" I waved my hooves in the air as the pegasus directed the weapon away from me. "That's a dimensional gun here! Are you sure you know how to use it?" I wondered, taking a closer look at the weapon.

BLAM! With a confident smirk, Rainbow shot one of Pinkie's posters, which disappeared immediately, like Big Mac some moments ago.

"Well, I guess you do..." I sighed.

"Of course I do!" she boasted, paying attention to the gun in her mouth. In reality, it sounded more like Of fors w wu!, but for the ease of your reading, I'll transcribe it to natural pony-speech. "I just killed Big Mac, after all!" she added with unconcealed pride in her voice.

I shook my head. "You know how to shoot but don't know how this thing works," I chided her. "You just sent him..." I paused. "...as well as the poster... to another dimension."

Rainbow pondered for a moment. "Sure, but that means he is dead in this dimension, right?" she wondered.

"You see-" I paused. Hell, maybe it was like this. When it came down to actually thinking about how one or another universe worked, I was just as helpless as the next pony, despite being a Time Lord and all.

Confound those pegasi! They drive me to think!

"We've no time for philosophy," I concluded, taking a look around.

Rainbow nodded. "Exactly. We've not much time. And that's why I have a plan."

She grinned. I sighed.

I had a bad, bad feeling about this...

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"No! No way!"

"Oh come on! It's a flawless plan!"

"You know where's the one main flaw?"

"Eh?"

"In your DNA, apparently."

~~~

"Rainbow Factory? Like, where they make Rainbows from-"

"Sugar and spice."

"Oh, and I have thought-"

"Sugar. And. Spice."

The Traitor (Part 5)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

The Traitor (Part 5)

***

Good day! It is I, The Doctor. I mean, it's me. No, wait... Let me just check my grammar book... Old Equestrian... Nope. Ancient Gallopfreyan... Nope. Scoltish Dialect for Dummies... How did that even get here? English... Oh, that's the one! Wait a minute... Yes! It is totally I!

It is I, The Doctor, and I still have a story to share. The circumstances changed, and so shall my narration. I'm not sure that Josh has enough talent to maintain such a complicated form of narration (Hey! Watch it! - the Narrator (I still can't believe *I'm** the one to make remarks in my own story... *sigh*)*), so let me tell everything from my point of view, shall we?

Ah, my favourite form of narration: omitting details, jumping back and forth across the timeline - what's there for a Time Lord not to like?

So... Allons-y!

***

A few moments ago

"You can't do this."

I was standing in the middle of the desert, surrounded by the eternal nothingness, looking into Marex's eyes. I saw hope and determination in them, but I could also sense a tiny bit of uncertainty, upon which I wanted to play.

"I can," he replied, checking his weapon. "The Crown strays, Doctor, and the oligarchy strays with it." He looked at me attentively, as if he were studying my face.

"The coal manufacturers are in charge now, and they have support of the Crown," he continued, facing away from me. "And if the Crown is no more... the technocrats will take their place." He chuckled solemnly. "Still no better, but at least that would mean an end to the war."

I nodded slowly, not letting myself fall into the ocean of his words.

"I will leave, Doctor. And you will not stop me." He turned round and casually started trotting away.

I gulped. I didn't want to do this. I really, honestly didn't.

"Marex."

The unicorn looked towards me, his eyes slightly widening as he saw my weapon.

"A trans-dimensional gun, huh?" His curiosity was most certainly piqued.

"You're smart." I checked the weapon. It was loaded and ready. "Marex, turn back while you still can."

He chuckled and shook his head.

"You know that I won't." He gazed into my eyes. I saw youthful passion, desire and... fear?

"This wouldn't kill me, right?" he whispered. "Just... send me somewhere...right?"

"Marex..."

"If you don't shoot, I'll leave."

"Marex, don't..."

My interlocutor sighed and turned away.

"Doctor..." He turned his head once more. "In that dimension you'll send me to... Will I write my book?"

I smiled sadly and nodded.

"Yes, Marex. You will. And your book will bring about a revolution."

He lowered his head. And then he started galloping towards the horizon.

And then I fired away.

***

Two hours ago

"You got it?" the griffin said, inspecting his talons casually.

I tried to maintain all the hatred that I could send towards him, hatred that was dancing in my eyes, threatening to make my head blow up.

"I can't believe you will sacrifice the lives of countless ponies and griffins!" I exclaimed and moved closer, away from the now empty prison cell. "Despite being an ex-commander, I can't see the strategic point in all of this." I mused. "The Empire and the Republic are going to win. The war's in your territory. Soon, your capital will fall. The griffins will lose."

He looked at me indulgently and smirked. "But not I. Shall we win or shall we lose, I still get my profits." He paced back and forth. "Let's say we win, by some marvellous accident." He chuckled, showing off his obvious lack of faithin such a thing. "As a hero of war, I will be granted the honour to hold fourth of my country's oil." He stopped and looked at me, his eyelids half-closed. "And if we lose, I will get fourth of my country's oil as a peace bringer."

"As a traitor," I corrected him, breathing heavily. My disdain for the griffin grew with each passing second, setting my insides on fire.

He merely shrugged.

"Traitors, Doctor, are those who betray Crown and country," he said in a calm voice. "Those who swear their oath to money can't be considered traitors. So..." He looked at me, and I felt an urge to spit and wash myself. "We have an agreement? My soldiers will take you back in some two hours."

Then I fulfilled my urge and finally spat on the floor.

"Only because I don't have any other options," I hissed, and the griffin smiled.

"It's a deal then."

***

Fifteen minutes ago

"Listen, Marex, don't do it." I watched in horror as the philosopher-now-soldier packed his saddlebags and took a rifle.

"They killed my comrades," he said, not hissing, not yelling; just stating the fact.

"The griffins killed them!" I tried to reason him, my own temper far from serene.

The unicorn just shook his head in reply.

"The capitalists killed them. They even killed Feather - he was a colt, Doctor. Just a colt."

I marvelled at how he still managed to keep cool. I hadn't witnessed the massacre. He had. Still, I was angry, and he was not.

Marex' gun clicked.

"And now I will have revenge."

***

Two hours and a half ago

I was woken up by a prodding at my shoulder. As I opened my eyes, I saw two gruff griffins standing before me, here in my cell. I looked at them quizzically, raising my brow, demanding an explanation.

And I got it.

"Rise. Master wants to speak to you."

***

Now

I was standing in silence watching the gun fall from my mouth, as if it the Time were slowed down. But I knew it wasn't. I approached the spot at which Marex had just been standing. I looked up to the sky. I looked at the stars and thought about this pony, the one who resolved to be branded traitor for the rest of his life, just to stop the war; just to make the fighting cease. And I thought about myself, the one who prevented him from doing so; much more, who prevented him from doing so to save his life; my life, that is. Again, to save my life, I gladly gave away another.

It was becoming a habit, I guess?

I felt a tear crawl down my cheek as I thought that the war would reign, and the ponies and the griffins would be murdered alike - all because of me. I thought of heartless capitalists exploiting their labour. I thought about the future.

And then I raised my head, and shouted, shouted so loudly, for the whole desert to hear.

"Now who is the traitor here?! WHO IS THE TRAITOR?!"

Audience of One

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Audience of One

***

I’m so tired of running. All my life, I’ve been running. Running back and forth, running away, running for my life, and for the lives of others... I really want to stop. But I can’t.

That winter day - or, to be more exact, night, is still fresh in my memory, as if it happened yesterday. Maybe it did. Maybe my perception of Time has become so muddled that I cannot tell one day from another anymore. Maybe I’m going insane from all of this - from everything that has happened to me, is happening to me, and will happen to me. I know it in advance, and that’s my plight - the plight of a Time Lord.

Snow was falling from the sky, covering the dirty ground, concealing it from my sight. The clouds were erupting, and it felt like the end of the world; as if the empty night streets were being buried under blankets of ash.

I was trotting down the streets of Ponyville, each building reminding me of something, each small detail evoking a memory line.

I passed the library, looking at the brightly lit windows, and imagined how Twilight and Spike were spending this night - did I mention it was Christmas? - together, side by side. Side by side. As all ponies should.

“Doctor, come here, now, you incorrigible jester!”

“Twilight, no! Violence is not the answer!”

Memories of our past - of our shared past - came rushing into my head, occupying my thoughts.

“There’s no way we’re sleeping in the same bed!”

“But of course, Twilight! You can always sleep on the floor, you know?”

“Must... Resist... Strangling... You...”

I chuckled and smiled sadly, shaking my head. This simple motion was enough for the thoughts to slow down to a lazy crawl, and I proceeded on my way.

Carousel Boutique. Rarity’s place. And also home to the most disturbing, loud, obnoxious little filly I’ve ever known. And... the most generous, kind, and nice filly I’ve ever known, at the same time. A snowflake fell on my cheek, slowly turning into a drop of water, which came down my muzzle and was buried in the fur.

“Mister Doctor-”

“Just Doctor, okay?”

“Doctor, what exactly are wingboners?”

“What are... *what*?!”

Another drop vanished in my coat, this time a tear of mine. No matter how funny the whole situation had been, now, looking back at it, I realised I was going to miss Sweetie Belle. Miss her more than I would have missed any other foal.

Sugarcube Corner. As I passed the sweet-shaped building, I resisted the overwhelming urge to come in. Just for a second - come inside, and look at the Very Very Very Very Special Christmas Party Pinkie had been preparing for a few weeks. Just a second - one fleeting moment...

“So, to bake cherry-flavoured cupcakes you have to look *eeeeeexactly** like a cherry tree!”*

“Pinkie... What?”

“Of course, I knew ponies who would dress up like a lemon tree, or an apple tree - and I’m not just talking about Applejack, by the way - oh, and have you seen Applejack around - I haven’t, of course, so that’s why I’m asking - because if I *had** seen her, I wouldn’t have asked-”*

“What...”

“And those ponies who don’t dress up like cherry trees always end up with some other kind of cupcakes and not the yummy cherry ones!”

“...What.”

I let out a small chuckle, and raised my head to look at the brightly lit windows, loud music playing from the inside.

No. I had to go on. I had to move on. Everypony has to move on, eventually. My time in Ponyville had been great. In fact, I think it had been the best period in my entire existence. But everything must cease, even Time Lords. Time itself will cease to exist one day, too. I know, but I try not to think about it. Instead, I move on. I always move on.

As I left Ponyville and soldiered on along the snow-covered country road, I looked up to the sky. The dark clouds above resembled my feelings only too well. I mused about what had happened during the past years. All my life, I’d been running. I had never had a place to call home. And now that I thought I’d found it...

I passed the small cottage on the edge of town, its silhouette strangely reminding me of something big, and fuzzy, and warm. The lights were out, for the inhabitants were asleep. Fluttershy, always asleep as soon as the Sun sets...

“Um... Doctor, it’s so kind of you to look after Angel...”

“Oh, don’t worry, Fluttershy! I’m sure we will get along quite well!”

“Oh, that’s wonderful! Oh, I’ve almost forgotten! WIll you please bathe him?”

“Of course, Fluttershy--”

“And cook him a sweet little dessert.”

“Of course, Flutter--”

“And please, watch out for other bunnies!”

“Huh?”

“They tend to pick on him from time to time. But don’t worry - I’m sure you’ll protect him!”

“Of course... Do remind me, how long will you be gone?”

“Oh, it’s only two weeks.”

“...I’m doomed.”

I marched on to the EverFree, feeling chilly grass under my hooves, boughs swaying from side to side and cradling me. I passed an empty spot, which triggered one more trip down memory lane.

“Applejack?.. Rainbow Dash?..”

“This ain’t what it looks like!”

“Yeah! We were just... wrestling?”

“Suuure... Whatever makes you sleep well at night, Rainbow Dash. Whatever makes you sleep well at night.”

I laughed, remembering their embarrassed faces. I wondered what they were doing now... They probably were together, cuddling on the sofa in front of a warm and welcoming fire...

I approached my blue box. It hadn’t changed one bit since I had left it here, in the middle of the EverFree forest, the only place where my solitude wasn’t out of place. Here, it was alright to feel lonely. It felt good to feel lonely, even. But I didn’t feel good, or bad, or upset. I felt empty, soaked in my own loneliness. I entered my TARDIS - the only thing I had a right to call mine. I wanted to believe it wasn’t a thing; I wanted to believe it was my friend. I closed the door behind me gently and approached the control panel. The buttons had never seemed so welcoming; the levers had never been so alluring.

I had to leave my friends; my real friends; my first real friends in a long time. But one thing was certain: the moments we had shared together would forever be printed in the book of Time, even if we all forget about them, or misinterpret them. Or if we cherish them forever.

I stroked the control panel lovingly and closed my eyes. I saw the whole wide picture of Ponyville before my eyes. I saw my friends laughing, and exchanging precious speculations and funny jokes, and hugging each other. I was definitely out of place there. I would have been a bother.

I felt a tear crawl down my cheek, but I suppressed the urge to cry. I had matters to attend to. I always have matters to attend to. Sometimes I think that running without stopping is the only thing that keeps me sane. The only thing that keeps me alive.

I wiped my eye with a hoof, and set my tie straight. I stood tall and firm, feeling determination building inside me.

“Merry Christmas, Ponyville,” I whispered, pressing a few buttons. “Merry Christmas, TARDIS.” I put my hoof on the lever, pondering for a moment. I pulled it.

“Allons-y!”

***

Author's note.

Another interlude. Another milestone. I'll be honest - it is high time I ended the story. And I will soon. I will finish When the Time Lords Broke Free arc, and that's it. The story will come to an end. I don't feel like continuing it anymore. It's almost done, people. Have a nice day.

~Josh

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

***

I am a jerk.

No, really. I am the worst pony... Time Lord... being I've ever met. And I have met many. I have seen things. Unpleasant, terrifying, mind-breaking, soul-shattering things.

I have seen whole civilizations break apart. I stood and watched them fall.

I have seen parents kill their own children only to save them from impending torture. I stood and watched them do it.

I have seen so many apocalypses that I have long lost count. I stood and watched worlds end.

I have seen the darkest sides of people, and ponies, and other species. I stood and watched them unleash those sides to their full potential.

I have seen countless sacrifices which I knew would turn out to be useless. I never interrupted them.

I have witnessed the darkest things that the universe had to offer. I never interrupted the flow of things.

There were times when I couldn't help.

There were times when I could.

There were times whe my actions could change things for the better.

All I ever did was to stand in the shade of my blue box and watch.

I watched and watched and watched like a goddamn contemplator.

All those times I actually did something? Drops of water in the ocean of darkness. Drops of dirty, corrupted water.

I hid my pain behind sarcasm and fake silliness. With a smile, I soldiered on to countless adventures, only to satisfy my curiosity. I joked through tears and went away.

Sometimes I think if leaving everything behind is my special talent. Maybe it is my destiny?

When I felt that the pillars supporting everything I held dear were starting to crumble, I walked away. I never watched them fall.

When I saw despair and heard cries for help, my help, I just pretended to have missed them... and I walked away.

I walked away because I am a coward. As long as I can remember, I have always been afraid. I put on a brave face and saved a few people, only to lie to myself that I was a hero. That I was useful. That I had a purpose. A purpose, which, in reality, I never had.

Most of all, I was afraid of dying. I still am.

I am not sure whether I am dead or alive right now... I mean, it's dark, and I can't see anything... or feel anything. But I still can communicate with you, right?

I had begun to write all of this... just to confess. I lied.

There is a danger that is approaching Equestria.

I couldn't have stopped it even if I wanted to.

Nopony can.

I am a hyppocrite. I am confessing all of this not to gain your approval, or forgiveness... I do not deserve forgiveness.

You know, they say that Time Lords can reincarnate only a given number of times? I don't know of a Time Lord who has ever lived all of their lives. Most Time Lods simply refuse to reincarnate in the end. My friend, my only true friend, Master, had refused to live on.

Now I can see why.

Guilt.

Bone-shattering, mind-squeezing, soul-corrupting, overwhelming guilt.

We could have done better. We could all have done better.

I could have done better.

I... I have used all of my lives, it seems.

I am afraid.

I am still afraid more than you can imagine.

I am not brave.

I am not noble.

I am not generous.

I am not kind.

I am not loyal.

I am not honest.

My laughter is a mask to hide my fears.

And by no means am I magical.

I am a species that have been geanted immense power.

A foal playing with a nuclear bomb.

A blind pony with a loaded rifle.

Most of the good I've seen has come from ponies surrounding me.

Rarity has been generous in my stead.

Fluttershy has been kind in my stead.

Rainbow Dash has been loyal in my stead.

Applejack has been honest in my stead.

Pinkie has laughed for me.

Twilight has been... my friend. Of all the things I regret, the heaviest burden is denying her the opportunity to travel with me. She has done a lot good to me. I never fully repaid her.

I am sorry.

I am sorry for everything I has done. But much more so I am sorry for everything I have not done. For everything I could have done.

I have spent my lives living for the pleasure of mine and my companions.

I could have done better.

But I didn't.

You already know why I am bringing this up. Yes, I have nothing more to share. Well, I have, but I won't. Some of my stories aren't crucial; the others are too hard to bear, even for me.

You know how hard it is to put words to paper?

...Although I'm not sure that I am writing anything right now.

Maybe, just maybe, I am going insane. Maybe I have been insane all the time.

I will finish my last confessions soon. And... well, that will be all.

I guess that sharing my guilt makes it easier for me to bear myself. Or at least I keep telling myself so.

I will finish my confessions. I will seal my fate. And then I will stand on the brink of the darkened abyss. Maybe, just maybe I will finally have the courage to take a step. A real step. A step that will matter.

And then...

...Allons-y?

***

Author's note.

This is the shortest, yet the most emotional interlude I've written. You heard the Doctor. The story will be over soon. The two incomplete story arcs will be finished, the early chapters will be edited... and then I'll have to say farewell to the Time Pony I have grown so attached to.

If you are still with me, thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for your comments. I hope I dished out a nice story. Finishing it will be just as much a pleasure as starting it, and as writing it.

Peace.

Magic

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Magic

***

You love sudden interludes, don't you? You don't? Then just skip to the next chapter.

...Oh, I forgot. You can't.

Well, then either put on the headphones (that will appear as soon as you press 34 on the control panel - jazz, rock, blues and classical music available) or listen to my grumbling.

If you are still reading this, then you decided to choose the second option. (You could still read with the headphones on, if you haven't found it out). Good. Today my sad philosophical speculations will be replaced by something interesting, something worth reading. Finally, you may think (and have probably thought by this point). So what is it going to be, the Great and Powerful Timelord?

Magic. Today we are going to delve into the field of magic. Before you start whining (like That's boring! We learned it in Magic Kindergarten, then school, then the University blah blah blah etc, etc), let me assure you that we are going to scrutinize the origins of magic, not the process itself.

Magic. Magic... Heh, I love the word. It's so... um... magical? (Way to go, Doctor... Now I even can't find decent adjectives without a narrator...)

Anyway, magic. Where does it come from? According to the studies of such Equestrian masterminds as Twilight Sparkle and Colchevsky, the historian of the Decay period, magic comes from the existence of ponies itself. Unicorns can channel magic to create spells; pegasi use it to walk on clouds and control the weather; earth ponies inherit magic from the birth to become physically strong and hardy. So the ponies (not without the major help from the magnificent Celestia and minor assistance from Luna, of course) create magic and exchange it with the nature. That's the conclusion of Equestrian historians and scientists.

Forget it. It's so wrong.

At this point, you may ask me: Hey, you're always refute theories without creating any of your own! Being a ctitic without being a writer, huh? To that I may only answer: yes, I'm being a critic without being a writer; in other words, I cannot create, I only watch things go by and apply my corrections. And right now you are the one to blame for making me stray from the path of explaining magic to the impenetrable thickets of sad grumbling.

So... magic. (Seriously, how many times have I said that word?)

Those Equestrian geniuses were not far from the truth. The origin of magic truly lies within Equestria. But it's not ponies.

It comes from the dragons.

Now if this sounds shoking, may I remind you that dragons are the first inhabitants of Equestria? Not the country, the planet, I mean. (In fact, only you ponies call it 'Equestria': according to the Shadow proclamation, it is planet n. 1728304347634. But for the sake of easiness, let's just call it 'Equestria', shall we?) First came the dragons, then Star Swirl, then the Princesses, then the ponies... You should re-read your history book. ...Oh, I keep forgetting: you are from the New Lunar era, right? You just couldn't have known about the Golden age. (Not the era of Celestia and Luna, mind you! Albeit it is called the 'Golden age of Equestria' by the propaganda, it is actually a Silver age according to the true history.)

Here's a short synopsis for you.

The first creatures of this planet were the Dragons. They created magic. Then came an alien called Star Swirl (a.k.a. Star Swirld the Bearded), who happened to be a powerful alicorn. (And you wondered why they were called alicorns!) He made a pact with the dragons, giving them his name and receiving the gift of magic in return. What's the big deal with names? you may ask. Patience, young ponywan. Patience. (Seriously, I have to stop making bad puns... Unfortunately, I can't think of any good ones at the moment, so... you know the rest. Deal with it.) Soon, due to the process of evolution (who said science and magic can't co-exist? Here's the proof!) creatures known as ponies were born. Star Swirl experimented with them, and thus the three different races came to be. That was the real Golden age of the equine civilization. When he knew his time had come, he created Celestia and Luna (yes, don't look at the book with wide eyes, you haven't misread - he created them) and passed away. (I miss him. I miss them all.) While both Celestia and Luna were in charge, evolution produced Zebras, who were very susceptible to magic (The irony! They could inherit the magic but couldn't use it due to natural reasons), and Griffins, the brutal hunters, not sensible to magic at all. Then Celestia banished her sister to the Moon (I'll return to this story later - after all, I'm the one responsible for such a decision) and became the sole ruler of Equestria for a thousand years.

Let me enlighted you on the political map of Equestria (the planet, I mean - the one under n. 1728304347634, remember?) before the Silver age. (It is needed for better understanding of magic - It won't be boring. Well, maybe a little.)

The biggest country is, of course, Equestria. The Great Solar Empire. It has a strict class system and a cult of Magic. Here, civilized ponies practice their skills in bending magic to their will, sometimes using machines to aid them in their research.

Next comes the Griffin Empire. Griffins don't possess magic. Instead, they rely on brute force, conquering the Hydra Kingdom, the Donkey Republic and countless other small countries. Their religion is the cult of Blood. It is so severe that sometimes the Griffin knights would go conquer other nations in the name of Blood.

The Dragons. These creatures don't have a state. They don't need it. Because of their natural greed, each dragon possesses a pieace of territory, which is also his hunting ground. Everything that steps on it is prey. This may remind you of anarchic feudalism but the dragions actually have a ruler. She has many names, the most popular being She Who Swallows The Sun. She doesn't rule the dragons, and they don't obey her. She is simply so respected by all dragons that they chose her to represent the interests of the whole nation before other countries.

Which reminds me of Draconic jurisdiction... It's the only extraterritorial jurisdiction in Equestria, did you know it? 'Wherever a Dragon lays his claw, the Draconic Tradition is in charge'...

Erm... I'm going off track again, right?

So, magic. The most ancient magic is Draconic magic. (I loooove repeating myself, y'know)

Dragons possess the power of words. That's what I was talking about. The power of names. The magic of words is also the most powerful one. By the way, that's why I can't tell anypony my real name - it will destroy the Time the same second. (Ahaha... Time... Second... You get that? Aha... ha... ha... Ahem.) Anyway, Dragons don't need to concentrate the magic like ponies or feel it inside like zebras. They can simply say the right words, and - puff! - the magic happens. Sounds simple, huh? But ponies can't do it. Ponies' words will remain mere words, while right words coming from a dragon's mouth will become magical.

Ever wondered why you need to say 'Dragon of [insert the name of the territory here], I hereby request permission to enter your territory!' before going to visit your dragon friend (if you have any, that is). Because otherwise, you won't be able to enter. The magical border is the most invincible frontier.

So if the Dragons' magic comes from the words, where does ponies' magic come from?

Upon realising that ponies, in contrast to dragons, were talkative and light-hearted, Star Swirl decided that word magic would be too much for them to handle. So he transmitted the words into shapes, the shapes into dust and breathed the dust into the nature and the ponies, giving them the ability to pass the magic from generation to generation. I know, sounds like a foal's tale, but it's true, believe me. Before I arrived in Equestria, I didn't know a thing about magic (while in the future I knew it, but for the sake of the story let's pretend I didn't know a thing about it). At first, I thought: There must be a scientifical explanation to all of this. Magic is just a form of science. Now that I'm wiser, I think: Science is a form of magic, It just works slower and is more understandable.

And what about the Zebras? It's simple: they can't cast magic but it fills them from the inside. Their magic is the magic of nature. The magic of healing, alchemy and mystery. Maybe that's why the Zebras talk in verses?

Anyway, now that we know what is magic, I want to let you go until the next chapter. Really, you need to relax, without thinking about difficult and tiring stuff like the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything. (it's NOT 42, I assure you . It. Is. Not.)

On to some more adventurous stuff in the next chapter! Allons-y!

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"I swear I couldn't hear a beat!"

"Doctor..."

"Not a single one!"

"Doctor."

"Of course, one time's not enough, I said to myself, so..."

"Doctor! A pony's heart is located at the *left** side of their chest..."*

~~~

"No, Twilight, it's not that way..."

"I see, Fluttershy. Sorry for accusing you."

"We just happened to share a kiss."

"What."

~~~

"These aren't the droids you're looking for? Your Jedi tricks don't work on me, Twilight."

~~~

"No! No more beautiful mares for today."

"Why, Doctor, it's so nice of you..."

"When I said 'no more beautiful mares', I meant Fluttershy."

***

Author's note.

Now that was just *lame*. The chapter's too short, not funny, not sad and, what's more important, doesn't make you think. Exercise your brain, y'know? I wanted to make it better! *Sob* *Sob* Please don't send me to Magic Kindergaten for this, Celestia! I tried! I tried so hard!

Now that I stopped whining and criticising myself, you can leave your comments and rate the story. No, really - comments and ratings are fun. F-U-N. Try it!

Peace.

P.S. If you wonder who She Who Swallows The Sun is, you should immediately read 'It Takes A Village' by Determamfidd. The thing's should be considered canon when talking about dragons!

Bad Moon (Part 6)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

Bad Moon (Part 6)

***

"Throw him into a dungeon! No, banish him! No, throw him into a dungeon in the place I've banished him to!" Princess Celestia roared, her voice firm, her figure majestic, her eyes radiating fury.

... Yeah, it could have been better, right? I still don't think I deserved it in the first place. But it seems that the Narrator's running ahead of his narraration (I will always make bad puns, just get used to it). I bet you are eager to know how that happened. In that case, you may want to refill your glass (17 on the control panel - whiskey, brandy, gin and wine available) and proceed to the next chapter. - Your benevolent Time Lord

***

As The Doctor trotted along the road paved with finest marble, he kept thinking about how everything happened to be so easy. The Element Bearers learned about the situation, he was going to get the Elements from Celestia... Moreover, the weather was fabulous. As the sun was setting to rest in its cosy bed beneath the mountains. all critters were hiding in their houses to get a good night's sleep. Some of them, however, only waited for the night to come: owls and night wolves roamed around the Equestria's pastures of green, not looking for prey but mostly just stretching their numb limbs, showing their fangs to each other as they chattered in languages still unfamiliar to other living beings.

At last, he reached the large stone bridge, which connected the road with a castle of exquisite design. Equestria's best architects did their best to build it all those years ago, and not in vain: their work still couldn't be outdone by anypony.

Approaching the castle gate, the brown pony had to stop in his tracks. The guards, he thought.

And right he was: right before him stood two pegasi in enchanted armor, which was shining even when the sun had set. Their calm but strict looks were to ignite fear in anypony who were bold enough to desire to enter the castle without at least a written permission from the Princess herself.

The Doctor, however, knew exactly what to do. He cheerfully trotted past the guards, his cutie mark shining all the way. As he entered the main hall and closed the door behind him, the hourglass returned to its usual dark-brown colour.

Time stop... He smiled to himself. You're a genius, my dear Time Lord, you know that?

With that, he decided to act straightaway. He needed to find Celestia's chamber, so he had to ask the way. Simple as it was, he couldn't find anypony nearby. After searching through wide halls and narrow corridors, he saw a pegasus guard on patrol near a door.

The Doctor came up to him. smiling broadly.

"Doctor Whooves. Personal invitation from Her Royal Highness," the brown pony said, holding a piece of paper in his hoof. "Where can I find her, by the way?"

The pegasus nodded and stood back, opening the door. (No one can resist The Charming And Disabling Time Lord's Smile [TM]! Well, maaaybe the hypnotic paper helped, too... - T.L.)

I thought a Princess' chamber would be bigger... The Time Lord thought but entered the room nevertheless.

There, on a large bed with silver cushions, lay the most beautiful, the most attractive and the most royal mare in all Equestria - Her Royal Highness Princess Celestia.

She was magically holding a scroll, frowning, smiling and taking notes as she read through it.

The Doctor froze in place, astonished by her splendour.

"Tia..." He managed to say at last.

The white alicorn raised her head. Her eyes widened, her lips trembled, saying the name she had almost forgotten but always remembered.

"Doctor..." She said, a tear crawling down her face, hiding in her shining mane that was always fluttering, even when the wind has expired.

"Tia..." The Doctor repeated. He gulped. "You've... matured a lot," he finished.

"And you're the same," she replied simply. Then, she rose from her seat, approaching The Doctor.

He met her halfway, giving her a slight peck on the cheek.

Celestia closed her eyes.

"I still remember that feeling..." She said dreamily. Then, she smiled. "We have much to discuss, Doctor."

The brown earth pony scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah, about that, Tia... Do you still have the Elements of Harmony with you?" He asked.

The Princess raised her brow.

"But of course I do, darling, but don't we have more... urgent matters to discuss now?" She said with a sly yet very royal grin, poking the brown pony with a hoof.

"You see, Tia... Nightmare Moon is returning so..."

"...She can wait an hour," Celestia hugged The Doctor's neck with a hoof, bringing him closer to her.

The Time Lord resisted the urge to surrender and, without breaking the hug, spoke in a soft, soothing voice.

"Tia... You know this is an urgent matter. For now, just show me the Elements... And after Nightmare Moon's destroyed, I'm all yours..." He winked.

Celestia's reaction was unexpected. She staggered back, her eyes narrowing.

"You... A thousand years! I've been waiting for you for a thousand years and you still value Equestria's safety over our relationship!" She yelled.

"B-but Tia... Don't you do the same?" He asked. "You're a ruler, and you know that the safety of your nation is more important-"

"Shut your muzzle, Doctor!" Celestia was beginning to lose her composure. "You know the matter's not urgent. You could have at least kissed me! But no - a peck on the cheek is all I get after a millenia of waiting!" She shouted so loudly that one of the guards looked into the room to check whether Her Royal Highness was all right.

"Tia..." The Doctor whispered, his eyes becoming teary, as if he were slowly understanding his failure.

The alicorn turned her face towards the guard, gesturing to him to enter the room.

The pegasus entered, awaiting for orders.

The Princess, still not regaining her composure, stood erect, giving the order that made The Doctor hope it would all have been a dream.

"Throw him into a dungeon! No, banish him! No, throw him into a dungeon in the place I've banished him to!" Princess Celestia roared, her voice firm, her figure majestic, her eyes radiating fury.

The pegasus nodded, taking The Doctor by the hoof, dragging him.

"Oh, one more thing..." An evil grin appeared on Celestia's face. Her horn glowed and the cutie mark on The Doctor's flank disappeared.

"No!" The brown pony shouted. "You can't do this!"

"I control the magic in this world, honey," Celestia replied, vanishing from The Doctor's view as he was being dragged, not rising from the floor, not believing his senses.

***

Women... Why would I ever let my destiny's path cross with women? That unicorn, Twilight Sparkle... And that psycho alicorn... If only I knew how dangerous it would be to date her back then...

Such thoughts weren't adding any endorphines to The Doctor's brain. In fact, they were corrupting him even more now that he realised he still loved Celestia, in spite of her stubborness and changing temperament.

He looked around. The place was very dark, even for a dungeon. Her Royal Highness' order was carried out accurately: he was banished, locked in a dungeon in the place he had been banished to.

The Time Lord saw movement in the opposite corner of the cell. A figure that resembled an earth pony appeared to be sitting up in there, stretching its legs. The earth pony yawned, then looked at The Doctor.

"Oh, hi there! You're my first neighbour for five years. What's your name?" He asked.

The Doctor thought he had nothing to lose so he decided to answer straightaway.

"Name's The Doctor. You?"

The pony barked, which could hardly have been a mere laugh - it was more of a fervent coughing mixed with laughter.

"Green Barren, son. *cough* *cough* Doing time for murder. What about you?" He asked wearily.

"Well..." The Time Lord began. "I was dating Princess Celestia and left her alone for a thousand years," he answered honestly.

The other prisoner shook his head, falling asleep all of a sudden.

The Doctor sighed.

Suddenly, the door opened and a lavender unicorn galloped into the room, throwing herself in the brown stallion's embrace. However, The Doctors eyes were pinned to the white alicorn standing in the doorway. His eyes were pleading. Her gaze was accepting and forgiving.

"-And then I told the Princess how urgent the matter was and she decided to forgive you!" Twilight finished and slipped out of the hug, embarassed by her outburst.

Celestia surperssed a chuckle.

"Don't worry, Twilight. I'm not jealous," she said in a motherly tone.

The Doctor just sat there, dumbly looking at his hooves. He couldn't believe that was happening to him. Everything was so unexpected, so... unforeseen. Ever since he arrived in Equestria, he must have created a parallel universe that he still had to explore.

"Now what are you waiting for, Doctor? Let's get those Elements!"

Twilight's cry reached his ears and he managed to stand up. He couldn't help smiling when the lavender unicorn galloped away, passing the Princess with young vigour.

The Doctor approached Celestia with guilt written all over his face.

"Tia... I..." He started but was silenced with a passionate kiss from the alicorn.

When she broke the kiss, she smiled at him, shaking her head.

The Doctor's cutie mark appeared on his flank the same instant.

"You don't change, Doctor..." Then, a grin appeared on Celestia's face. "Allons-y!" She shouted before running off, leaving The Doctor in blissful lack of understanding. Instead of running, he slowly followed them, peacefully trotting in the direction of the castle.

***

And this is the end of my story. This is where my role ends and other roles begin. I played my part, and, may I say, did it well.

You must be joking me! Where's action? Where's the battle between Nightmare Moon and the Elements?! You may ask, looking at the book accusingly.

I can't tell you. I wasn't there. In fact, I spent that night with Celestia. And the following day as well. While the Elements were having their moments of doubt, pain and tears, the two of us were repolishing the old memories so they could shine. So we could cherish them forever. Never interfere, only contemplate. My motto worked well that time.

I left Celestia silently, while she was asleep. I didn't want to wake her for several reasons, the main one being how beautiful she was while sleeping. I didn't want to ruin that peace.

I didn't take Twilight with me. I knew she wanted to. That's why I avoided her. I hid from her. I concealed myself in the place she wouldn't search through, especially after the battle. The Everfree forest. The child of a powerful Time rift. The place where even Celestia and her now-returned sister were powerless.

There is something you could call an epilogue, however... My confession. My first serious confession. The example of how I have to do awful things to keep the Universe going in the right direction. My victimless crime. My guiltless crime. My mandatory crime.

Go on, Narrator. Tell them.

***

The night had fallen over Equestria. The Everfree forest stood majestic and primeval. It was dark and scary for all living beings, especially at night.

Silence endured in it - some kind of magical silence, like the forest itself repressed every sound that could reach it.

The brown earth pony slowly wandered through the ugly conglomerations of trees, which to him seemed beautiful in the melancholic moonlight.

Somepony coughed behind him.

He didn't turn round.

Somepony coughed again.

"Hello, Nightmare," the brown pony said, not changing his position in the slightest.

"Hello, Time Lord," it replied coldly.

"What are you up to now?" The Doctor asked in the same tone.

"I need to eat, Time Lord. I need to survive. I will bide, and then strike again," it said.

"Only to be defeated again, Nightmare. How pathetic." The Doctor's tone was plain, neither angry nor mocking.

"And what do you propose, Doctor?" Nightmare's tone was mocking, on the other hoof. "I am a living being and, according to the Shadow proclamation, I have the right to live. I need eternal night, Doctor. I need to drain their magic to survive." It pleaded, but its voice was still full of hatred.

"You won't touch those ponies. They don't deserve such cruelty. Twilight doesn't. Her friends don't. And Tia..." Now The Doctor was talking more to himself than to the Nightmare.

"Heh, and you call yourself a doctor... Instead of tending to patients, you kill the weak to fulfil your own ambitions. Your 'loved ones'..." It hissed.

"Don't try to talk about things you don't understand, Nightmare." The Time Lord cut her short. He hesitated a bit before carrying on: "However, you are right, in a way. I tend to all of those in need of help. That's a principle. That's why I have a plan."

He finally turned around, only to see a small dark cloud hovering above the ground.

"You will bring forth your eternal night when Celestia dies. Then you will eat. And you will survive. As well as her," he said firmly, yet hesitantly.

"And how do you think it will be worked out? I won't survive another millenia without food, Time Lord." There was much doubt in Nightmare's voice but a glitter of hope shone in it.

The Doctor sighed.

"You already know it, Nightmare," he said. "I'm a Time Lord. I control Time. I will send you to the same day the Princesses pass away. And I will not interfere in your actions. You will bring your eternal night forth. You will eat. And you will survive."

"Sacrificing the lives of countless ponies of the future to save the lives of your loved ones? You are becoming soft, Time Lord," Nightmare said almost empathically.

"Are you ready for it?" The Doctor simply asked, not used to long farewells.

"Any time, Time Lord."

With that, the hourglass on the Doctor's flank glowed and Nightmare disappeared, as if it had never been at that place.

The Doctor sighed once more and trotted deep into the Everfree forest, his lonely figure disappearing in the night.

***

Next on the Confessions!

A new story arc - *The Traitor*!

~~~

"What do you two find in that white shadow of a pony? Ha! He's a colt, not even a mature stallion!"

~~~

"Who are you?"

"I'm The Doctor. And I am here to help you."

***

Author's note.

And that concludes 'Bad Moon'. I hope you enjoyed it! The next story arc will most likely be a Sad/Slightly Dark one, about war and how it affects one's character and worldview. However, the yet next story arc is still oblivious to me. It will probably be a Comedy/Romance one, with Big Mac and Fluttershy (and The Doctor, of course!); or a Sad/Friendshipping one with The Doctor and banished Luna; or a philosophical one with The Doctor and Discord.

I ask you - no, I *beg** you! Everypony (and especially those who are tracking my story), give me some advice on that topic. Which one shall I choose? Other comments, criticism and ratings are very appreciated, as usual.*

Peace.

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 1)

Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

One Thousand Years of Solitude (Part 1)

***

As thunder struck across the sky, I witnessed two demi-gods clash in a eternal struggle between good an evil, or, to be more exact, between what we call good and evil. The alicorns spread their wings simultaneously and leaped into the sky through the gaping hole in the ceiling of the castle. As their newborn spells met halfway, the trees of the Everfree Forest immediately ceased with a flash - they were mere piles of ash now.

I stood and watched the battle with my eyes wide open, failing to understand what was happening.

"Tia! Tia, darling! What are you doing?!" I yelled in a useless attempt to attract the white princess' attention.

My attempt was in vain. The regal mare's eyes were bloodshot; so were her sister's. They exchanged magical lunges, both knowing very well it was only the beginning.

"Luna, come on! Stop this!" I appealed to the night princess' reason. To no avail either.

I kept running across the marble floor, raising my head so that my words would reach the two royal sisters who had presumably gone amok.

...But first things first, right? I'd better start from the beginning, so to speak.

I am the Doctor and this is another story of mine. Another breaking point in my life. Another landmark in the history of Equestria - and my personal history. This is not going to be one of those light-hearted tales that I'd told you before. This is some sad stuff and, if you want to read further, prepare yourself.

...Oh, you don't have an option but to read on. I always keep forgetting about that.

Anyway, hold tight and

Allons-y!

***

"Will you get your lazy flank to the kitchen and make breakfast?"

Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy waking up to Celestia's voice in the wee hours of the morning, when the Sun still hadn't risen due to the fact that Her Royal Highness was in bed with no intention of rising it.

I just don't enjoy being shouted at, right into the ear.

I immediately woke up and jerked in bed with a manly yelp. I'd just been having that strange dream about Daleks taking pony form and conquering Equestria.

And now, Celestia's voice strangely reminded me of the Daleks' Emperor.

I quickly examined the surroundings. They were all the same: Celestia's chamber bathed in vanishing moonlight, while the large royal bed (of which she'd always occupied more than a half) remained still. There were no Daleks whatsoever.

I sighed in relief and looked at the white alicorn lying next to me.

She snickered, covering her mouth with a hoof.

"You scared?" she asked with a smile.

I groaned and rolled in bed with a clear intention to continue my valued sleep.

Ah, too bad that alicorns can use magic, right?

Not that I didn't like being levitated - it gave me a pleasant feeling of flight and freedom - but I didn't like being levitated against my will.

"Come on, Tia! Put me down!" I whined. In a very manly manner.

"Well, if you ask so nicely..." Celestia snickered and let me go.

I fell on the ground, rubbing my spine.

"This is getting old," I grunted.

The princess of the Sun burst into laughter.

"Oh, come on, Doctor! We're just a few hundred years old - when if not now will we be able to enjoy such jokes?" she enquired with a huge grin.

"When you stop putting me on the edge of breaking my spine," I replied, waking up gradually.

"You can always regenerate, you know?" Celestia said, coming up to me and giving me the usual morning peck on the cheek.

"Next time I'll regenerate into a mare," I mumbled, coming round completely.

"Nothing would change for us, in that case," she replied casually, giving me a wink.

My ears jerked up at once. You know that feeling when your marefriend suddenly tells you that... um... how to put that nicely... her barn door swings both ways? Well, I didn't know, too. Up to that moment. That gave me some food for thought, you know?

Oh, speaking of food...

I kissed Celestia back and left the bedroom, leaving her to raise the Sun, while I would be fulfilling my duty as a male - getting food and bringing it to my mare.

In ancient times, males used to encounter numerous difficulties while performing such a hard task: they had to hunt down large animals, bring them to their caves (on their very backs, mind it!) and what was the only reply they ever got? Right: It's already lunchtime, go get some mammoth for lunch!

Those days, it was much easier: the only thing I needed to do was to pass down the stairs, get to the kitchen and fetch some cake for Tia - that's Her Royal Highness Princess Celestia of the Sun for you, mind it!

Now, in retrospect, I see that modern times are far easier: Tia just has to ring the kitchen and the cake would be magically delivered to her in a matter of seconds.

Idly wondering why I had to go it the first place (when Celestia possessed the gift of instant teleportation), I descended the stairs, feeling ultimately sleepy, stumbling upon almost each step.

"Good morning, Doctor," a passing by pony greeted me.

I raised my weary head and saw Celestia's younger sister - Luna.

"Hi, Luna," I said to her with a warm smile.

She'd always been a child to me - just a hundred years and a half; almost a foal. Yet, I tried to treat her as an equal, partly because she was unbelievably clever, partly because I was dating her sister.

"Will we be playing chess tonight? Please? Please?" the blue alicorn asked, looking at me with her brand puppy eyes.

"I'll give you a handicap," I replied with a wink.

"No, that's not fair! We'll be playing fair!" she whined, stomping her hoof on the marble floor.

I chuckled light-heartedly, feeling my sleepiness fade away. That [strike]child[/strike] princess could always make anypony cheerful.

"All right, Luna, we'll be playing fair," I agreed with a nod, trying to maintain a serious face. Youngsters love to be addressed with all seriousness you can gather.

"Yay!" the princess of the Moon cheered and ran up the stairs.

I shook my head and made my way to the kitchen.

On the table, I noticed an already-baked cake. It shone in the artificial light of the candles. It radiated beauty. It lured my attention completely. It screamed delicious with its every molecule.

Celestia would totally love it.

***

"Couldn't you bring something more tasty?" the royal alicorn said, after wiping off her muzzle from the creme. "The cake could've been better."

I gulped with an not-amused look.

"You know, Tia, I, for one, still haven't had breakfast yet - are you really the one to complain?" I wondered, feeling very, very hungry.

"You had a very special pie last night, if you get what I mean" she replied with a sly grin.

I speculated about that for a moment. Sure the night we'd spent was plainly awesome but...

"Nah, a cake would've been better," I said with a shrug.

"Doctor!"

I laughed as Celestia tried to beat the hay out of me in fake anger. ...Though, the bruises weren't fake, unfortunately...

And, as such situations had always turned out, the "battle" ended with a passionate kiss.

"Now, there was something I wanted to tell you..." Celestia began as we got up from the floor.

"It's not my foal! I'm not the father!" I shouted, backing up.

"I'm. Not. Pregnant," the Princess said, sending me a cold glare. "Though, it was great to see your opinion on the subject, as of yet."

"Phew," I wiped off sweat from my brow. "That one was close."

"We're going on holiday! A cruise around Equestria, to be exact," Celestia said proudly.

"Um, darling, that's great but... it will involve a ship, won't it?" I asked hesitantly. "You know how easily I get seasick."

"Don't worry, sweetie, it'll be an airship. Besides, you don't mind friendship," she replied with a smile.

Har har har. You must always laugh when your marefriend tells puns. So I did.

"I certainly wouldn't mind some shipping on the cruise..." I said seductively.

Too bad that your marefriend doesn't have to laugh when you use a pun or two.

"So... When's the cruise?" I wondered.

"We're already ten minutes late!" Celestia exclaimed cheerfully.

"That's my girl!" I said proudly as we grabbed whatever possessions we could find in a matter of a few seconds and ran out of the castle.

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"I think we forgot something... Something very important..."

"Nah, just shrug it off. Nothing's wrong, Tia. Just look at the beautiful moon and-"

"I forgot to raise the Sun!"

~~~

"That's- that's a *banana*, Tia..."

"Yes. Yes, it is. Anything wrong with it?"

"No, nothing... Confound those humans..."

~~~

"I... I've been sleeping with a *Time Lord*?"

"You... *do** realise that simple ponies don't live for hundreds of years, right?"*

***

Author's note.

So... Here's the new story arc. I await your comments eagerly.

Peace.

An Important Announcement from the Author

Six months.

It's been six months since I last updated this story. Half a year, in other words.

A lot has happened over the last six months, both in my life, and my writing career. I've written a few popular fics; gained a few hundred followers; but more importantly, I've gained friends.

My life has changed, and so has my writing style. It's different now, more refined, more passionate. I can no longer write this story. It's in the past now; I'm working on OctaScratches now, and there's no place for the Confessions in my current writing schedule.

So, that's it. I'm officially cancelling this story. There. I said it. I will always remember this story as my Rubicon, the story that made me a writer; but I cannot do it honour any more. I am sorry, and I will understand it if you decide to hate me due to this decision.

If it is any consolation, I am currently writing A NEW STORY ABOUT THE DOCTOR, which is much more interesting and fun than this one. It also has better style and narration. So, if you want, you can read it.

I won't rook your time any more. Here. This story is cancelled. It is over. I am very sorry. If you want to do anything with it, like take it up, continue it, etc etc, you are free to do so.

Always yours,

psp7master a.k.a. Josh~

Hey, this thing working? Oh, great, Josh's gone so I can freely hijack this chapter. If 'hijack' is the word I'm looking for. I guess. Anyway, you hear the news, right? I'm pretty sure you're angry and all, but hey, I never said that my adventures were over, right? I hope Josh tossed you the link, so, if you go so far as to follow it, you'll be able to read more about the one, the only, - me! Ain't that just wonderful?

All right, I have to go now! That Time-Space isn't going to travel itself! Meet you over the new story!

~The Doctor