Today's broadcast brought to you by:
Carrot Family Fields, because we're so much better than Sweet Apple Acres.
And also by:
Sweet Apple Acres, because we're so much better that Carrot Family Fields
And now back to your regular programming...
"Do you ever have one of those dreams where you're standing in sort of, sun-god robes with a thousand mares all screaming and throwing little pickles at you?"
"......No."
"Huh, why am I the only one who has that dream."
"Because you're weird, Jynx, because you're weird."
Jynx rolled over onto his stomach and ruffled his feathers irritably. "And you're not, Sphinx?" He stood up on his rear legs and waved his hooves in the air, "Oh look at me! I'm Sphinx and I see ghosts but that's perfectly normal! hyuck!" He fell on his butt laughing like an idiot.
Sphinx wrinkled her nose at her roommate. "FYI, there actually was a ghost in Sugarcube Corner. You scared it away with your blabbering before it could tell me how it died, all I got out of it was cupcakes...But none-the-less there was one there, just like there's one behind you right now."
Jynx rolled his eyes, "Yeah right, like i'm really going to believe that. I think you swiped too much of Rainbow's cider. That's what I think." He heard a cough behind him and jumped in the air. Behind him was a pale pony that hovered in the air without wings or a horn.
"Excuse me. But I think she's talking about me. I happen to be...ahem...A GHOST!!!!"
Jinx gaped in surprise. "ZOMG! No ways!"
"ZOMG?" Sphinx asked. "Is that even a word?"
"What are you, a dictionary?"
Sphinx’s eyes grew wide. "Who told you?"
"I was kidding...Wait, you're a dictionary?"
"Only on my father’s side."
"Oh well that makes sense then."
"Excuse me but I'm still here." The ghost whimpered.
Sphinx jumped up triumphantly, "Right you are! And as a member of E.G.G (Equine Ghost Getters), It's my job to bring you to justice!!!"
"But I didn't do anything..."
"Silence, knave!" Jynx shouted, "Prepare to be thwarted!"
"I just need directions..."
"Exactly! Directions... to your doom!!!!!" Jynx picked up a notebook and chucked it at the ghost.
Chuck was ineffective!
"What the heck?" Sphinx asked
"I know right? Throwing a solid object at a ghost totally should have worked!"
"No, I meant the omnipotent voice that put emphasis on how stupid a move that was."
"ZOMG!!"
"Again, that's not a word."
"It's like in Catch-a-mon!"
"That stupid game where you capture mythological creatures like Chuck Norris and David Bowie?"
"Yeah! After each move it says stuff like that!"
"So this is like a Catch-a-mon battle?"
"I think so!"
"I'm still here...I don't know why I don't just leave." The ghost whimpered. "Nopony loves the undead anymore."
"Now all we need is to be in a super awesome outdoor arena, instead of our living room!" Jynx said, ignoring the ghost.
Sphinx's horn glowed with magic and the trio of ponies was teleported to the backyard. "You were saying?"
"LET'S KICK SOME ECTOPLASM!!! Muaahaahaahaa!"Jynx laughed maniacally.
"That was a nice evil laugh."
"Thanks, I've been working on it."
"Yeah...I'm just going to leave now..."The ghost said. Just as it was turning to leave, Sphinx nailed it in the back with a lightning bolt.
Thunderbolt was super effective!!
"OUCH!! Okay, no more Mr. nice ghost!" The ghost mutated into a freaky part bird part pony creature with seven eyes, a bony tail, and a large sword where a horn normally would be. A scythe appeared in his front hooves making him look altogether more creepy.
"Jynx?"
"Yeah?"
"TONIGHT...WE DINE...IN HELL!!!!" Both ponies let out a massive battle cry and engaged in battle with the reaper-ghost-bird-pony. The three ran at each other in slow-motion and stopped suddenly just before impact.
"Luna! Why did you go and pause it! It was at the best part!" Celestia complained. She tried to use her magic to take the remote away from her younger sister, but to no avail.
"Because, sister, this show is ridiculous. I don't know how you stand to watch it."
"Actually it's pretty easy."
"How is it easy?"
"Because it's an AWESOME show! I just got done sitting through three straight hours of Dr. Whooves. I think I deserve a turn."
"Why don't you watch this ridiculous program on your own television?"
"I broke it..."
Luna rolled her eyes and chucked the remote at Celestia, hitting her with it directly in between the eyes. "You can watch your show only if you best me in a contest!!!!"
"And what contest would that be?"
"A match of skill, patience, wisdom and strength! It will test the very limits of your soul and only when you are screaming for mercy will the challenge REALLY begin."
"Meaning the usual? Play Always on constant loop and the first to scream uncle and or attempt to bash their brains out forfeits the TV?"
"That was the plan, sister. I know I will beat you!"
"Not this time, this time i'll win for sure!!!!"
Celestia was just about to press play when there was a knock at the door.
"Room service!!"
Celestia tilted her head in curiousity, "You ordered room service?"
Luna blinked in confusion, "No... did you?"
Celestia stood up and opened the door.
"OOH YEAH!"
Celestia rolled her eyes."Not now Kool-aid."
"OH YEAH?"
"Yeah."
"Darn. see you later then." Kool-aid man sulked out the door.
And now back to your regular programming!
"Give it up ghostie! You're no match for my expert skillz!"
"HAHA! You would like to think so wouldn't you? But not even your skills are any match for my powah!!!" The ghost fired laser beams out of his eyes shooting Jynx across the room. "That must be why they call you Jynx! You're the unluckiest pony in the world! Do you know why I think so?"
"Why?" Jynx groaned.
"Because I just rolled two natural 20's in a row! Critical strike suckah!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Jynx fainted in a heap on the ground.
Sphynx gasped in horror. "You fiend!"
"It's no use! He was the powah!!" Jynx groaned.
Sphynx glared at the ghost angrily. "Jynx, there's only one option."
"No, you can't! It's too risky!"
"Perhaps, but the only other option is incredibly unlikely to work. I'll try it anyway though." She stood as tall as she could and looked the ghost right in his eye sockets. "Listen here, ghost! I have a question for you!"
"Oh really? Do tell..."
"How do you win a losing contest?"
"Well, that's easy. You win by losing!"
"But once you lose, that means you won so you didn't lose!!"
"A paradox! Clever...but not clever enough! Your tricky words have only weakened me slightly! You are still no match for me!"
"Jynx, I'm sorry. But now there really is just one option, I gave it all I had."
"Don't do it! Even for all you riddles Sphinx, it's too much."
"If there's anything else you want to ask my superior mind Jynx, now would be the time to do it."
Jynx was infuriated that she would even think about doing what he knew she was going to do. But there was question he had always wanted the answer to, "What's the answer to life, the universe, and everything?"
"42, Jynx. Never forget it's 42." Sphinx stepped forward toward the monstrous ghost, fierce determination sparkled in her eyes.
"Are you ready to admit defeat yet, weakling?"
"Perhaps. But before I do, I have only one thing left to try."
The ghost laughed evilly."Do your worst pony!"
Sphinx levitated a calculator out of her pocket.
"What are you planning on doing with a calculator?"
"The one thing I promised the gods I would never do, except in the most dire of emergencies! I'm going to...divide by zero!!" Sphinx punched "42 / 0" into her calculator. She glared furiously at the ghost and hit enter.
And they all died. The end.
"You're right, Luna. This show has definitely deteriorated in quality." Celestia mused.
"Yup...wanna co-op Portal 2?"
"Sure, why not."
"I call the little blue one."
The end.
