The scarecrow and her scarcrow
Filled with straw, rags, and kindness
Applejack grunted as she tried to pull a single cardboard box out from under a mountain of its brethren. Clenching her teeth and firmly planting her back hooves into the dirt floor, she threw her weight back and pulled with all her might. Finally, after much effort, the stubborn box beneath gave way, causing the entire pile of cardboard to collapse on top of the mare.
She let out a small ‘eep’ as the mass of storage got just a too little intimate with her. Groaning, the farm mare realized that her box was now lost in the mess she had created. She didn’t have time to sift through a sea of junk, she was going to be late!
She wilted a little as she remembered that all of her friends had a date to Pinkie’s Nightmare night party except for her. Well, all of them except for Fluttershy, but she was too busy hiding in the corner of her cottage in fear to really count.
Shaking off the feeling, Applejack frantically searched through the rubble of a once mighty cardboard fortress. The contents of each box were scribbled in marker on the front.
“Granny’s old records…mah foal clothes…Big Mac’s yokes…gah! Where in tarnation are the Nightmare night costumes!?” she yelled disgruntledly, roughly throwing boxes aside as she confirmed that she didn’t need their contents.
Finally, she let out a sigh of relief when she found the box she was looking for. She roughly tossed old costumes and props out of it as she looked for hers from last year. She nearly tore the box in two trying to find it, but it wasn’t there.
She facehoofed, “Great…no date AND no costume…”
She turned to leave when she noticed that her costume was hanging off of one of the nearby boxes. Apparently, she had overlooked it in her search. She smiled sheepishly, grabbed it, and made her way out of the cold Apple-family basement.
The irritated mare hastily trotted up the stairs with her costume in hoof. She reached the top and made her way toward the door of the house while trying to put it on simultaneously.
Big Mac chuckled a bit when she tripped and took another sip of his big mug of cider, “It’s a party, Sis, y’all don’t need to rush”
“Well there’s no sense in bein’ late, now is there Big Mac!?” she snapped.
He rolled his eyes, smiling slightly at his sister’s distress as Applebloom pouted, “But why can’t I come with, Sis?”
“Applebloom, we’ve been over this a thousand times! There’s alcohol at that party, and we can’t have y’all gettin’ drunk” she grunted as she finished sliding her costume on and rushed out the door.
Applebloom looked lustfully at her small cup of cider, “We could try…”
Big Mac stared her down for a moment before she lowered her head and slowly made for the stairs, “Fine…I’ll just go to bed, then…night, Big Mac”
She made her way up to her room, closed the door, and watched out the window as her sister walked away. She waited for a few minutes, then reached under her bed, grabbing a walkie talkie with her hoof and pressing the button.
“Apple Cider here, how’s it lookin’ down there, over?” she spoke into it.
A small, orange filly responded, “Orange Dash here, Seamie Belle and I are in the barn. Grab your part of the costume and let’s get out of here, over”
Applebloom smiled, grabbed an ugly goblin mask and some rope, and descended down to the ground from her window.
“Cutie mark crusader carousers…” she whispered to herself with a smile as she climbed down.
Applejack walked through Ponyville in a hurry, not taking the time to look at all the carefully placed Nightmare night decorations. Plastic bats hung from windowsills, Jack-O-lanterns lined doorsteps, and funny-looking cardboard monster props were scattered around yards decoratively.
She made her way through the dark, deserted streets, which had just a few hours ago been packed to the brim with young fillies and colts trying to score some free candy, when something caught her eye. A dark figure stood and watched her from afar. She stopped dead in her tracks, and wondered if she should look at them.
“Maybe if they know I know they’re there, they’ll leave…” she muttered to herself.
Unwillingly, she slowly turned her head toward the lanky figure. There, standing in Carrot Top’s carrot patch, was…a scarecrow. She let out the breath she had been holding and tried to calm her pounding heart with a chuckle.
“Sheesh, ya scared me there…” she laughed nervously.
It was a scruffy, fake stallion dressed in old rags. Hay could be seen sticking out of it in some parts. Patches sewn on over holes in the baggy overcoat it wore, it stood, propped up on two thin pieces of wood. Its head was a single, bright orange pumpkin with no face carved into it.
She couldn’t help but stare at it for a moment. Was it some sort of psycho rapist stallion or something…no…she had the weirdest feeling when she looked at it, though. Shaking her head and trotting away hurriedly, she was reintroduced to her concerned train of thought.
“I don’t have time fer this, I’m gonna be-”-Ponyville’s clock-tower rang in the distance, signifying that it was ten at night, right when Pinkie’s party was supposed to start-“…late…ugh!”
She galloped to Sugarcube corner; she couldn’t be late to the party, everypony would look at her awkwardly as she came in, which was especially bad because everypony there would see that she didn’t have a stallion!
When she arrived at her destination, she noticed that the booming music shook the entire street. The music itself was creepy, but it was difficult for a shiver to go down your spine when your entire body was vibrating. The culprit, DJ-PON3, could be seen bobbing her head up and down with the beat, grinning widely in her DJ booth near the dance floor.
“Hey, Applejack!” Pinkie yelled over the music, “Welcome to the party!”
Applejack blinked, not having noticed the bouncing pink mare in a chicken costume who was seemingly immune to the incredible volume of the music, “Uh, heh, hey Pinkie! Thank ya kindly!”
“The sweet table’s over there, the cider’s over there, the hard cider’s over there, the hard hard cider’s over there, the even harder cider’s over the-” Pinkie counted on her nonexistent fingers before Applejack interrupted her.
“Uh…Pinkie? Where’d ya get all that cider?” Applejack questioned with a raised eyebrow.
Pinkie giggled and blushed a little, “My date gave it all to us for free! That’s sooo nice of him, right?”
“Date? Who’s yer date?” Applejack asked suspiciously, not wanting to have to deal with an apple-selling rival.
A familiar, friendly voiced greeted her from behind, “Well howdy there, Applejack!”
She spun around, suddenly nose to nose with her cousin, Braeburn.
She smiled widely and hugged him, “Well howdy there, Braeburn! Golly, y’all came all the way here fer a party?”
He laughed, “There’s a funny story about that! I reckoned since y’all came and visited us last year, I’d come visit you! I took some hard cider with me to sell of course, an’ then I met Pinkie here…and I kinda forgot about y’all”
Applejack gawked at Pinkie who just smiled and waved, “And then we met and we got to know each other and I invited him to Sugarcube Corner and I said I knew you Applejack and we’ve been talking ever since!”
Applejack smiled, “Well golly, I’m happy fer the two of you! Congratulations!”
“Hey, didn’t you say you had a date, Applejack?” Pinkie asked.
Oh no, did she? She must not have been paying attention…but she couldn’t lie now, she was a horrible liar! Abort, abort!
The farm mare smiled sheepishly, “Aw shucks, I’d better go try some of that cider before it’s all gone, heh. It ain’t every day ya get to try Appleoosan hard cider fer free! See y’all later!”
Braeburn gave a friendly smile and nodded, “See ya later, then, Applejack!”
Applejack made her way to the snack table, “Phew…that was a close one…maybe I can get through this party without-”
She noticed a pony standing next to her, “Oh, sorry, am I in yer way?”
The pony said nothing and shook his head. She got a better look at him, noticing that he was dressed similarly to her, as a scarecrow, in fact! He wore a ragged overcoat, dusty leather boots, and a big Jack-O-lantern head with a scary frown.
“Heh, that’s a nice costume ya got there” Applejack smiled politely.
He nodded and stared at her.
“Hey Applejack! What’s up?” Applejack jumped in surprise and spun around.
“Oh, howdy there, Rainbow! Not much, how’re y’all doin’ tonight?” she asked sheepishly, not wanting to talk about dates.
As if fate was intending to spite her, Thunderlane stepped up and nuzzled Rainbow, causing her to giggle in an uncharacteristically girlish way, “Hee hee…not much! This is Thunderlane, you two’ve probably met before”
Applejack greeted him with a firm hoofshake and a friendly smile, “Howdy!”
He returned the greeting courteously, “Dash’s told me a lot about you!”
“Hey, wanna go get me some cider, Thunder? I’ve been dying to try that!” Rainbow asked her date.
“Sure! You want some, Applejack?” Thunderlane asked politely.
Applejack chuckled awkwardly, “Uh, no thanks!”
He walked away and Rainbow let out a quiet scream of excitement, “Can you believe it? He’s so bucking HOT! He asked me out a few days ago! Crazy, right?”
Applejack started to sweat a little as her strange grin got wider; the conversation was going very bad very quickly, “I, uh, feel good fer y’all, Rainbow!”
“Hey, didn’t you say you had a date, Applejack?” Rainbow asked, quirking up an eyebrow curiously.
That lie, that accidental lie, born of miscommunication and raised in the expectant minds of her friends.
It was going to be the death of her, she just knew it, “Eh, well…”
There was no escape, she was just about to fess up when somepony stepped out from behind her and stood right next to her. It was that scarecrow pony from the cider table!
Rainbow smiled, “Oh, hey there!”
He held out a hoof to shake, but she just bumped it, “What’s up?”
He didn’t respond; he just stared at her.
Feeling a bit creeped out, Rainbow chuckled awkwardly, “Uh, so this is your date, then, Applejack?”
Applejack blinked, “Huh? Uh, I mean, yeah, he is!”
She prayed to Celestia that he wouldn’t protest. He didn’t say anything, he just stood there, staring at her.
“Cool! So what’s your name?” Rainbow asked him.
He tilted his head and looked back at Rainbow for a moment.
After an awkward pause in the conversation, she cleared her throat and turned to Applejack, “He’s not much of a talker, is he?”
“Not…really?” Applejack answered, unsure of how things were going to play out.
Thunderlane came back to the group, cider in hoof, “You wanna go dance, Rainbow?”
“Oh, you KNOW it!” she squealed excitedly before swallowing her cider in one gulp, “See you later Applejack and…uh…you!”
The stallion nodded as Applejack sighed in relief, “Thanks fer helpin’ me out there, Stranger. What’s yer name, anyway?”
He responded by scratching himself and staring at her.
Applejack paused expectantly before biting her lip, “Um…okay, well…here’s the thing; all my friends think I have a date fer this here party and…well, I don’t. Would ya please help me? I could pay ya ‘er somethin’ like that later…”
He nodded, causing her to smile, “Thank ya kindly, I really appreciate it!”
Meanwhile, outside of Sugarcube corner, three small fillies tried to whisper to one another, but failed to do so because the booming music covered up all attempts at subtle communication.
“Okay, here’s the plan…we need to get in there, grab as much cider as we can, and get out” Scootaloo said, speaking just loud enough to talk over the music.
Sweetie Belle nodded, “Okay, let’s get in the suit thingy!”
The “Suit thingy” was just all of the failed outfits Sweetie Belle had tried to make for the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ various schemes in the past stitched together into one large robe. Aside from a hole cut in the top for the head, it was pretty much just a big jumbled mess of fabric.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle filled the bottom portion of the abomination, and Applebloom stood on top of Sweetie, sticking her head through the roughly cut hole. The farm filly stuck the goblin mask on over her head and tried to speak in her best adult voice.
“Hey there other adult ponies! I’m gonna go get some nice cider to drink, ‘cause I’m an adult!” she rumbled in her highest grown-up voice.
They all giggled; the plan was perfect! What could POSSIBLY go wrong!?
Applejack turned to her new “date” and smiled, “Uh…so what do y’all wanna do?”
He shrugged, then stared at Applejack blankly.
As Applejack tried to continue the one-sided conversation, she didn’t notice two other mares coming up behind her, “Hey Applejack! How are you?”
Applejack spun around AGAIN. Why did everypony insist on sneaking up on her?
“Oh, uh, howdy there, Girls!” Applejack said, turning around to meet the eyes of Rarity and Twilight, “How’re y’all enjoyin’ the party?”
“I wish they had some nice wine as opposed to this…erm, hard cider, but other than that I find it to be quite enjoyable” Rarity answered honestly.
Rarity was wearing a fine, elegant dress that she had likely designed. It was orange and black; perfectly stylish colors for the occasion.
Twilight smiled thoughtfully, “It’s a blast!”
The unicorn chose the same outfit from last year, Star Swirl the bearded. Much to Rarity’s Dismay, Twilight wouldn’t let her touch it up, but only because the history nerd knew that the end result wouldn’t be much of a costume at all; just an elaborate dress matching Rarity’s.
“Glad to hear it! Where’re yer dates?” Applejack asked confidently, now unafraid to mention the word.
The two mares looked at each other, smiled, then looked back at Applejack.
Her eyes went wide, “Oh, uh, I see…I always thought it’d end up bein’ Rainbow…”
Rarity shifted awkwardly, “Er, yes, quite…and I assume this gentlecolt is your date, then?”
He offered a hoofshake, which both Rarity and Twilight returned politely.
“Who’s under there?” Twilight asked, trying to find a face in the Jack-O-lantern.
“Uh, he’s kinda new ‘round these parts…I think…so y’all probably don’t know him” Applejack replied.
Twilight raised an eyebrow, “Hm, well that’s str-”
She was interrupted by booming thunder, “MUAHAHAHA!”
The music stopped; ponies ceased their dancing and turned toward the unexpected noise.
The lights dimmed as a black hole comprised of dark clouds started to form in the middle of the room. Small sparks of electricity could be seen escaping from the swirling vortex, and a bright light appeared in the center.
Emerging from the depths of the ominous storm came the infamous lunar princess of the night. She cackled and stomped on the ground loudly. Ponies dropped to the ground, covered their eyes, and shivered in fright.
The princess laughed evilly, “FOALS! THOU FEAST UPON SWEETS, BUT THOU DO NOT WELCOME YOUR PRINCESS BACK TO YOUR FAIR TOWN!? THOU SHALT BE PUNISHED! I SHALT STRIKE FEAR INTO YOUR TINY HEARTS FOR THE REST OF NIGHTMARE NIGHT!”
Everypony got up simultaneously and started cheering loudly, boosting the princess’ ego, “DOST THOU LIKEST ME TO TERRORIZE YOU ALL!? VERY WELL THEN, FEEL MY WRATH, CITIZENS!”
Suddenly, DJ-PON3 yelled out over the crowd, “Yeah! This song is dedicated to our lovely princess of the night, Princess Luna! I call it, ‘Doubling the fun’”
The booming music started up again and everypony started dancing alongside their beloved monarch. She had been practicing her moves since the last Nightmare night, and was even giving the ponies with dancing cutie marks a run for their money.
Across the room, one pony stood, completely terrified. Well, more like three ponies, actually.
“Why’re they cheerin’!? She’s gonna gobble us up after she’s done with her fancy dancin’!” Applebloom exclaimed in a panic.
“L-let’s just stay calm, g-girls! We just need to g-get out of here as fast as possible!” Scootaloo replied shakily.
“But how are we going to do that!? The exit’s too far away, and it’s really hard to walk in this thing!” Sweetie Belle cried out in a panic.
“Okay, both of y’all, just walk to the left along the wall, and we should be fine” Applebloom told them.
They gulped and started walking, before Appleblom stopped them, “Not that left! Mah left! Mah left!”
“Your left IS our left!” Sweetie grunted.
They started to slowly and accidentally shuffle into the crowd of dancing and chatting ponies. Struggling not to get separated from one another, they bumbled along, unaware of where they were heading. This wasn’t going according to plan at all.
Applejack turned to speak to her date, but noticed that he was trotting onto the dance floor.
She trotted off after him, “Oh, heh, sorry, didn’t notice y’all headin’ that way!”
They got on, and at first danced around the edges of the crowd, but eventually her date started to make his way into the center.
Applejack didn’t know if she was confident enough and stalled on the outside. She watched in awe as her date started using dance moves that nopony there had ever seen before. He danced right up to the princess and imitated her.
She laughed in glee, “DOST YOU CHALLENGE ME TO A DANCE-OFF, FOAL!?”
Everypony gasped when he nodded confidently.
Always the competitive type, Luna lowered her stance and narrowed her eyes, grinning slightly, “VERY WELL, THEN! PICK YOUR ALLY AND PREPARE TO BE THOROUGHLY ANNHILATED”
Luna looked throughout the crowd and spotted a brown stallion with an hourglass cutie mark, “DOST THOU KNOW HOW TO DANCE, ROYAL SUBJECT!?”
He grinned, “Oh, I’ve probably learned how to in some life or another. Let’s do it!”
Applejack was dragged onto the dance floor by her date, “Hold on there, ‘Pard, I don’t even know how to dance!”
Her date tilted his head innocently and stared at her for a moment or two, before she sighed, “Aw shucks…yer gonna get me embarrassed”
“DOST THOU HAVEST YOUR PARTNER!?” Luna yelled impressively in full caps lock.
He nodded, and positioned his date and himself opposite the two immortal beings.
Luna smirked, “LET THE HUMILIATION COMMENCE!”
She and her partner started to nod to the beat, before they started dancing in a complicated fashion. Luna leapt into the air and spread her wings majestically as her partner rolled and jumped up. Their bodies flowed like a river to the dubstep, as if the music were controlling their every move.
She stomped on the ground, causing it to shake, then finished with an impressive finale of spinning her entire body on her horn like a top.
Applejack’s heart sank; how could they beat that!?
Her date seemed to have read her thoughts, because he answered her question by WRECKING IT! Luna was stunned at his grace and poise during a song that did not require- neigh, expelled grace and poise! And yet, despite his old-fashioned dancing…he was winning!
He grabbed Applejack, spun her around a few times, dipped her, swung her under his legs, then tossed her up into the air. She responded as naturally as she one without experience could, by randomly flailing about. The crowd accepted it as dancing, surprisingly enough.
Eventually, she caught up with him and started doing what felt natural to her; apple bucking. The crowd was shocked, but it went with the music quite nicely, and to this day the “Apple buck” has been a favorite move amongst many party-goers.
He did the worm then did a mid-air barrel roll and tossed Applejack as far up as he could. They finished strong as Applejack nose-dove in a downward spiral, only to be caught upside down by her already spinning date. They landed on their hooves, right next to each other at the end of the song.
The crowd cheered wildly as their opponents stood, gawking at them from the other side of the dance floor.
The Princess’ partner let out a laugh, grinning widely, “Well then, Princess, I believe we were just beaten”
The princess stomped loudly, breathing steam from her nostrils, “SILENCE, FOALS! YOU THERE! DRESSED IN RAGS!”
Everypony was frightened; it didn’t seem like an act, she seemed genuinely angry this time. Everypony but the stallion in question dove to the ground. He tilted his head and stared at her calmly, as if she hadn’t just ruptured everypony’s ear drums.
She narrowed her eyes and stared at him for a moment or two, before finally speaking, “…thou were a worthy opponent, fair citizen. I hope to face you on the dance floor once again, someday”
She swallowed her pride and shocked everypony by bowing to him. They all stared at her for a moment before she got up and smiled at him.
They all slowly and awkwardly rose, still shocked at what had just occurred. Princess Luna had just admitted somepony was better than her? Was the world ending?
“Come on, everypony! There’s still more party to go around!” DJ-PON3 yelled over the crowd as she started a new song.
As everything started to return to normal, the princess whispered to Applejack, “And thou art a lucky mare, Element of honesty…”
Applejack stared up, blushing, at the lunar princess who winked and turned to the farm filly’s date, “DOST THOU EXCEPT MY PROPOSAL OF AN ALLIANCE TO DANCE!?”
He nodded and pulled Applejack onto the dance floor with him.
The entire crowd made a circle around the four dancers, who moved in perfect harmony through the music.
“Ha! I haven’t grooved like this since Woodstock!” the brown stallion yelled aloud.
Three young fillies shuffled about through the dance floor in their costume, having been accidentally shoved there by a drunken mare, “That way! That way!”
“We’re…trying! There’re too many ponies in the way!” Scootaloo responded through clenched teeth.
They couldn’t move anywhere; they were being completely controlled by the thick crowd of ponies.
The three fillies yiped and grunted as they were shoved along through the crowd. Eventually, somepony’s foot got caught on their makeshift robe and the three collapsed on top of somepony in a scarecrow costume.
Applejack’s date collapsed onto the dance floor as three fillies spilled out of the costume. He got up, and noticed that everypony was staring at him. He tried to tilt his head, but realized he had none. His jack-O-lantern head had rolled off as he fell and was now at a shocked Applejack’s hooves, and there was no face underneath.
Her mouth agape, all she could say was, “Wh-what in tarnation!?”
Frantically, he scrambled for his lost head and galloped through the crowd and out the door.
Everypony gawked after him, shocked. Where was his head? What had just happened!?
Applejack ran out after him, “Wait! Where’re y’all goin’!?”
Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and the princess stood in front of the three fillies, glaring at them as they smiled sheepishly, “…we can explain”
Applejack ran through the dark streets of Ponyville trying to find her lost date, “Hey, Whatsyername, where are ya!? We can talk about this! I don’t care if ya don’t have a head!”
She stopped her pursuit at Carrot Top’s house, panting. He could have been anywhere in Ponyville. She noticed a figure in the corner of her eye and turned eagerly, wondering if it was him…nope, just that same scarecrow from before.
She sighed, looking at it through glossy eyes, “Well at least y’all won’t run away from me…”
Once she got better look at it, she noticed that it now had a frowning, sad face carved into it. Was Carrot Top at the party? Why would she carve a face on her scarecrow in the middle of the night?
Applejack sighed again, turned to walk away, and whispered, “Wherever y’all are…thanks fer the help”
She noticed a light come on behind her. She blinked; was somepony watching her?
The farm pony turned around and noticed that the Jack-O-lantern on the scarecrow’s body was now not only SMILING, but it was also lit with a candle that hadn’t been there before.
She stared at it in shock for a long while, before closing her mouth and nodding silently, accepting it.
Applejack trotted up to it, gave it a kiss, then whispered, “Happy Nightmare Night, Sugarcube”
As she walked away, a little stream of cider could be seen flowing from the scarecrow’s eye.
